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By *bi Haive OP Man
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
I'm in a helpful mood today. On the lookout for cats that need rescuing from trees, little old ladies that need helping across the road and short people who can't reach things on high up shelves in supermarkets.
So I thought adding some 'virtual'assistance may also add to my quota of good deeds for the day.
What top tips can you offer the lovely fab forum community this fine sunny day?
I'll start you off.
Women. Instead of paying extortionate amounts of money to have toxic chemicals injected in your face for that 'bee stung lips' look - simply smear jam on you mush and snog a few wasps.
Same result! 
Over to you folks. 
A |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If you're horny and you can't stop that erection from erecting turn the blender on and stick your cock in (just the tip) and then you'll lose your boner and have something else to keep your mind occupied. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If you're horny and you can't stop that erection from erecting turn the blender on and stick your cock in (just the tip) and then you'll lose your boner and have something else to keep your mind occupied."
Thanks. I'll give it a go. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If you're horny and you can't stop that erection from erecting turn the blender on and stick your cock in (just the tip) and then you'll lose your boner and have something else to keep your mind occupied.
Thanks. I'll give it a go."
You're so welcome. I hope it helps.  |
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"If you're horny and you can't stop that erection from erecting turn the blender on and stick your cock in (just the tip) and then you'll lose your boner and have something else to keep your mind occupied.
Thanks. I'll give it a go.
You're so welcome. I hope it helps. "
112 called!  x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If you're horny and you can't stop that erection from erecting turn the blender on and stick your cock in (just the tip) and then you'll lose your boner and have something else to keep your mind occupied.
Thanks. I'll give it a go.
You're so welcome. I hope it helps. "
Oh. I've just re-read this. BLENDER.
Brucey! You can stand down x |
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Don't waste time ironing clothes. Simply place your garment on the (clean) floor and place an upturned ironing board on top of it. Leave it for the night and, hey presto, you're ready for that interview! |
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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"Don't waste time ironing clothes. Simply place your garment on the (clean) floor and place an upturned ironing board on top of it. Leave it for the night and, hey presto, you're ready for that interview!"
So... waste time cleaning the floor instead? |
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"If at first you don't succeed, sky diving isn't for you. If your chute doesn't open put a hand on top of your head."
Two pieces of advice from my instructor,
Pull the cord when you're 3 foot off the ground, if it doesn't open you can jump the last 3 feet.
If it doesn't open, take it back and complain. |
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"Don't waste time ironing clothes. Simply place your garment on the (clean) floor and place an upturned ironing board on top of it. Leave it for the night and, hey presto, you're ready for that interview!
So... waste time cleaning the floor instead?"
When I called you filthy I didn't mean literally! Clean your floors, woman  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If at first you don't succeed, sky diving isn't for you. If your chute doesn't open put a hand on top of your head.
Two pieces of advice from my instructor,
Pull the cord when you're 3 foot off the ground, if it doesn't open you can jump the last 3 feet.
If it doesn't open, take it back and complain."
lol my favorite was when I went to jump school in the army the instructor told us females to wear a tampon or a pad when you are on a jump. It's so we don't whistle on the way down and sound like incoming artillery. |
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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"Don't waste time ironing clothes. Simply place your garment on the (clean) floor and place an upturned ironing board on top of it. Leave it for the night and, hey presto, you're ready for that interview!
So... waste time cleaning the floor instead?
When I called you filthy I didn't mean literally! Clean your floors, woman "
Yes sir  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If you're horny and you can't stop that erection from erecting turn the blender on and stick your cock in (just the tip) and then you'll lose your boner and have something else to keep your mind occupied."
Nice tips slightly modified, if women is horny sane blender can be used on nipples |
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"If at first you don't succeed, sky diving isn't for you. If your chute doesn't open put a hand on top of your head.
Two pieces of advice from my instructor,
Pull the cord when you're 3 foot off the ground, if it doesn't open you can jump the last 3 feet.
If it doesn't open, take it back and complain. lol my favorite was when I went to jump school in the army the instructor told us females to wear a tampon or a pad when you are on a jump. It's so we don't whistle on the way down and sound like incoming artillery."
Or a Stuka......  |
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Luton….it was surely being referred to in Dante’s Inferno 
