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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Jam - you ram it into you.
Preserve - you store it for posterity.
Conserve - you eat it in very small quantities to make it last.
I hope that has cleared it up for you, my good man. 
M |
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If I attempt to make Strawberry jam but inadvertently forget to add pectin, it’s a compote, right? ….And I’m a posh cook worthy of entering Masterchef? (whereupon I shall have a lewd liaison with Grace Dent)  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I can’t conserve/preserve my knob in someone’s arse
That’s it, you win the internet!
What do I win?
A pot of my homemade compote "
Have you looked up jam in a thesaurus today? |
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"I can’t conserve/preserve my knob in someone’s arse
That’s it, you win the internet!
What do I win?
A pot of my homemade compote
Have you looked up jam in a thesaurus today?"
Yes; I got really confused though….What is musician jam?  Do I add a bass guitar in with the fruit? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I can’t conserve/preserve my knob in someone’s arse
That’s it, you win the internet!
What do I win?
A pot of my homemade compote
Have you looked up jam in a thesaurus today?
Yes; I got really confused though….What is musician jam? Do I add a bass guitar in with the fruit? "
No you just make it with Jason Orange. I apologise for that. |
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"I can’t conserve/preserve my knob in someone’s arse
That’s it, you win the internet!
What do I win?
A pot of my homemade compote
Have you looked up jam in a thesaurus today?
Yes; I got really confused though….What is musician jam? Do I add a bass guitar in with the fruit?
No you just make it with Jason Orange. I apologise for that."
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The famous Kilner® jars, which have been used for storing such 'condiments' since 1843 state the following descriptives:
• Jam: a 'preserve' where the fruit is chopped, mashed or crushed. A jam should hold up firmly but also be easily spreadable.
• Preserve: similar to jam but the fruit pieces are larger (or whole) but not chopped, mashed or crushed.
• Conserve: are a cooked mix of fruit, sugar, nuts, raisins, dried fruit and spices. A conserve will have a similar texture to jam, firm but spreadable. The most common conserves will contain a mix of more than one fruit along with some citrus. |
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"Jam, preserves, conserves: Do you know the difference?
Anyone here make their own?
 "
I've no idea what the difference is, but I made an apple and sage jelly/jam for pork burgers, if that's any good to you. |
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
The difference between jam and marmalade is that you can't accidentally marmalade your cock in the fridge door at 3am whilst getting post sex snacks.
Which may on occasion be jam related. 
A |
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