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How do you scratch your itchy arse in public?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I’m not talking of an itchy arse cheek here, I’m talking about one that’s right up there. One where it would be easier to get at it down your throat?? 
Well then? What’s your technique? 
Love and Peace  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The wiggle walk sometimes helps, although it can make it worse occasionally 
What? Like your arse is sucking on a polo mint? "
The seam in your clothes can be handy |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I just go for it I don't care.
Sniffing my finger a few yards later I am trying to stop though, it just seems a step too impulsive. pt"
Smelling spunk? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"The wiggle walk sometimes helps, although it can make it worse occasionally
What? Like your arse is sucking on a polo mint?
The seam in your clothes can be handy "
Poor seam  |
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"I just go for it I don't care.
Sniffing my finger a few yards later I am trying to stop though, it just seems a step too impulsive. pt
Smelling spunk? "
the delicate nectar of spunk, shit and anusol, it really needs a word |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I just go for it I don't care.
Sniffing my finger a few yards later I am trying to stop though, it just seems a step too impulsive. pt
Smelling spunk?
the delicate nectar of spunk, shit and anusol, it really needs a word"
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I just go for it I don't care.
Sniffing my finger a few yards later I am trying to stop though, it just seems a step too impulsive. pt
Smelling spunk?
the delicate nectar of spunk, shit and anusol, it really needs a word"
Jizzusolite |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Stick a cactus up there and bounce
Oooooooo so you like multiple pricks up your arse at once. Kinky 
You know I do.
You trained me  "
I only have one penis  |
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"I just go for it I don't care.
Sniffing my finger a few yards later I am trying to stop though, it just seems a step too impulsive. pt
Smelling spunk?
the delicate nectar of spunk, shit and anusol, it really needs a word
Jizzusolite "
Is this your new after scratch lol  |
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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"Stick a cactus up there and bounce
Oooooooo so you like multiple pricks up your arse at once. Kinky
You know I do.
You trained me
I only have one penis "
Oh... what were the bits sticking out of it then? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Shout really loudly that you have an itchy arse! Everyone will look away, itch until you’re arse has sighed a sign of relief!"
Everyone wouldn’t turn away where I live |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I just go for it I don't care.
Sniffing my finger a few yards later I am trying to stop though, it just seems a step too impulsive. pt
Smelling spunk?
the delicate nectar of spunk, shit and anusol, it really needs a word
Jizzusolite
Is this your new after scratch lol "
That’s what’s on your finger |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Stick a cactus up there and bounce
Oooooooo so you like multiple pricks up your arse at once. Kinky
You know I do.
You trained me
I only have one penis
Oh... what were the bits sticking out of it then?"
Warts |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I just pretend i'm pulling my knickers out of my arse which doesn't look so bad (and my knickers are usually stuck up there anyway) "
Lucky knickers |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Just have a good old scratch and carry on eating your chips
You don’t scratch it with a chip then?
Hell no I'm not an animal "
You’ll try it next time though |
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I pull down my pants, proudly stick my finger up there and have a merry old dig around.
Sadly, it has come to my realisation that such behaviour in public spaces is not generally smiled upon though.
….well that’s what the officer told me anyway…  |
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"Just have a good old scratch and carry on eating your chips
You don’t scratch it with a chip then?
Hell no I'm not an animal
You’ll try it next time though "
A salty crack no thanks, if I want gravy on my chips I'll buy some |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I pull down my pants, proudly stick my finger up there and have a merry old dig around.
Sadly, it has come to my realisation that such behaviour in public spaces is not generally smiled upon though.
….well that’s what the officer told me anyway… "
Those poor people on the bus that one time |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Dig into my grundies
On a more important not does adjusting your nuts in public make you a perv "
Probably not best done infront of one of those gyms with a big open front window |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Just have a good old scratch and carry on eating your chips
You don’t scratch it with a chip then?
Hell no I'm not an animal
You’ll try it next time though
A salty crack no thanks, if I want gravy on my chips I'll buy some "
Northern boys love gravy |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"A good old twist on my butt plug usually does the trick 
Is it a foxtail one?
It is. Could you give it a tug to see if that helps?"
Errrrrrr, no, but thank you |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Learn to wipe your butt properly in the first place?
Or check you don't have worms
Do you have an arse mirror for checking for worms? "
Nope, sorry you've got to do it the old fashioned way... look at your poo! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Learn to wipe your butt properly in the first place?
Or check you don't have worms
Do you have an arse mirror for checking for worms?
Nope, sorry you've got to do it the old fashioned way... look at your poo! "
I thought you could see them wriggling around the rim? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Learn to wipe your butt properly in the first place?
Or check you don't have worms
Do you have an arse mirror for checking for worms?
Nope, sorry you've got to do it the old fashioned way... look at your poo!
I thought you could see them wriggling around the rim? "
Ask a friend to look...... I am not that friend  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Learn to wipe your butt properly in the first place?
Or check you don't have worms
Do you have an arse mirror for checking for worms?
Nope, sorry you've got to do it the old fashioned way... look at your poo!
I thought you could see them wriggling around the rim?
Ask a friend to look...... I am not that friend "
You are the very definition of a party pooper |
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Make sure someone's filming it, then bounce on the bonnet of a Rolls Royce. Enjoy every kink of that Spirit of Ecstasy as it rises up your anal passage. Then use the footage to make money on OF/YouTube  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Find the nearest corner of a building, then like a bear scratching its back on a tree, I twerk that shit.
The mr "
Brick dust is deadly if consumed up your bumhole |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Thats where the expression yabba dabba doo comes from 
I’m not sticking a club up there club biscuit would be nice "
Not even a little kitkat finger I’m afraid |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Learn to wipe your butt properly in the first place?
Or check you don't have worms
Do you have an arse mirror for checking for worms?
Nope, sorry you've got to do it the old fashioned way... look at your poo!
I thought you could see them wriggling around the rim?
Ask a friend to look...... I am not that friend "
You’re not my friend |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I ask the nearest guy in the pub if he had something he can scratch my ass with
A table leg??
Oooh I might squeal a bit but hey! Why not! "
OK, a chair leg to start with |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Of course you could always wear a butt plug, walk like a 70's dolly bird and just enjoy every part of your day. pt"
Is this why dolly birds walked like this? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Make sure someone's filming it, then bounce on the bonnet of a Rolls Royce. Enjoy every kink of that Spirit of Ecstasy as it rises up your anal passage. Then use the footage to make money on OF/YouTube "
I’ll be your only fan |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Well that's dinner ruined cheers everyone ??
Make sure you wash under your nails before you eat
Literally only you could get away with this "
Nobody gets away from an itchy arse |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"We both use butt wipes and since changing over to them from toilet paper, we don’t get itchy ring piece anymore! "
Just wipe marks halfway up your back |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’m not talking of an itchy arse cheek here, I’m talking about one that’s right up there. One where it would be easier to get at it down your throat??
Well then? What’s your technique?
Love and Peace "
Just do what my dog does and drag your arse across the floor. Mind you'd want to be a trained acrobat to manage it |
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""Hold it out the window and let the breeze blow it off."
10 points if you get the reference.
Unless I've buggered up the quote. Think I might've."
Don't worry. Rex will bugger up a lot more than a quote if you let him |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I’m not talking of an itchy arse cheek here, I’m talking about one that’s right up there. One where it would be easier to get at it down your throat??
Well then? What’s your technique?
Love and Peace
Just do what my dog does and drag your arse across the floor. Mind you'd want to be a trained acrobat to manage it "
Down Shep |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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""Hold it out the window and let the breeze blow it off."
10 points if you get the reference.
Unless I've buggered up the quote. Think I might've.
Don't worry. Rex will bugger up a lot more than a quote if you let him "
If you ask nicely |
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By *ooleyMan
over a year ago
preston |
""Hold it out the window and let the breeze blow it off."
10 points if you get the reference.
Unless I've buggered up the quote. Think I might've.
Don't worry. Rex will bugger up a lot more than a quote if you let him
If you ask nicely "
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You should try preempting the situations by applying a good blob of valve grinding paste to the pointy end of your butt plug in the morning. I never get itchy up there anymore. A couple of bounces on the nearest chair should the need arise and you are sorted.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I find the nearest man with a large dong and ask him to scratch it with the end of his penisisisis. I do also look for a handsome face to go with the dong  "
I have neither |
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By *TG3Man
over a year ago
Dorchester |
"Thats where the expression yabba dabba doo comes from
I’m not sticking a club up there club biscuit would be nice
Not even a little kitkat finger I’m afraid "
it'd blend in though |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I just back up to the nearest doorframe obviously!! 
Jo.Xx
And let the knob slip in?
Standard!
Jo.Xx
Does D know?
Pppfftttt He's the one who laced my knickers with itching powder!
Jo.Xx
D."
Naughty D |
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At the hot food bit in Harthill Services the other week a guy clearly had that issue but didn't care his hand went right down the back of his jeans and he had a good jab around, then he picked up his food and left |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I go full on "Doggy poo stripe" and drag my arse along the hessian rug.
Perfect
Doesn’t that tickle your ballbag?
It can tear it to bits. "
Poor sphincter |
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