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The Telepathic Matchmaking Thread
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Yes indeed my fine folks; now is your chance to get laid via esoteric means! Awesome right?
The Rules: Simply say that you’re in before concentrating hard and sending a psychic message to whichever forum user/s you wish to engage in carnal relations with.
Now wait…
Hey, you think you’ve just received a message? - Great! Post the message you’ve just received out of the ether and maybe, if you’re feeling particularly brave, list who you suspect sent it to you (whereupon they can either confirm or outright deny it) thus enabling the rest of us to engage in a good old fashioned gossip 
Why, even as I type this I’m picking up a delightful message from DirtboxDestroyer69 who is telling me that he wishes earnestly to bore me out…  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Ahhh….I’m getting a message….but it’s not for me…
‘I want it in or possibly up my potting shed…..’
Does this mean anything to anyone? "
It's the seed potato delivery |
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"Ahhh….I’m getting a message….but it’s not for me…
‘I want it in or possibly up my potting shed…..’
Does this mean anything to anyone?
It's the seed potato delivery "
Ah ha! I think that one was from our Nora  |
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Oh, I'm getting a message for *static noise*
Someone wants to run their hands down your back and squeeze your bum. They want to lightly bite your neck as they make short work of your clothes. Then they want to run their tongue down your body until *static noise*
Sorry I've lost the connection 
J |
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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"Just got a message for I’m so confused.
Yes you are in.
I’m not sure what it means? "
I actually am... I shut the front door on the outside world and everything.
This shiz works! |
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"Just got a message for I’m so confused.
Yes you are in.
I’m not sure what it means?
I actually am... I shut the front door on the outside world and everything.
This shiz works!"
Good to know my special pole is working  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Reply to the hot English woman who just sent a filthy message.
No, I didn’t know you and your Irish and Welsh friends have the same fantasy as I! And yes, I do know a sexy Scottish girl as it happens…  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"We've just had a message from a beautiful woman saying she'd like to help me tie up and blindfold the Mr while we get it on and tease him.
Of course it's a yes 
Mrs "
Send me the date
F |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Reply to the hot English woman who just sent a filthy message.
No, I didn’t know you and your Irish and Welsh friends have the same fantasy as I! And yes, I do know a sexy Scottish girl as it happens… "
Ah not from me. I'm not English.
F |
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"We've just had a message from a beautiful woman saying she'd like to help me tie up and blindfold the Mr while we get it on and tease him.
Of course it's a yes
Mrs
Send me the date
F"
Oi, stop stealing my message!
J |
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"‘Beautiful lady; I want to stand behind you in public and cup your boobs whilst pretending to be a backpack….’
Anyone? I’m guessing this isn’t meant for me….? "
Omg it worked I concentrate so hard |
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"‘Beautiful lady; I want to stand behind you in public and cup your boobs whilst pretending to be a backpack….’
Anyone? I’m guessing this isn’t meant for me….?
Omg it worked I concentrate so hard "
 The wonders of telepathy  |
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"We've just had a message from a beautiful woman saying she'd like to help me tie up and blindfold the Mr while we get it on and tease him.
Of course it's a yes
Mrs
Send me the date
F
Oi, stop stealing my message!
J"
No need to argue ladies it can still work with 3 women
Mrs |
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By *edeWoman
over a year ago
the abyss |
"I knew you were going to post this thread op  And now I feel a tingle in my loins, it's an angel, a cute little cherub..... Cede! She's asking for us to make her tremble with our hands and fingers...
Dirty wee thing she is
Cherry x  "
I have arrived - a little bit tardy I fear but I will make it up to you I promise  |
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"WTF is this all about "
I’m sending you the details telepathically but it might take a little while to come through as I seem to be presently and completely inadvertently, tuning into a US spy satellite…. |
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"WTF is this all about
I’m sending you the details telepathically but it might take a little while to come through as I seem to be presently and completely inadvertently, tuning into a US spy satellite…."
Those fucking us satellites we need a plan |
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"I am receiving a message for someone called, ClungeCleaver5000…
The answer is a resounding, ‘No!’ (and there’s a block attached) you filthy beast
"
Omg not again interference.
I need to drink gin and clear my head.x |
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"WTF is this all about
I’m sending you the details telepathically but it might take a little while to come through as I seem to be presently and completely inadvertently, tuning into a US spy satellite….
Those fucking us satellites we need a plan "
Matters have just taken a grave turn….there’s a black car just pulled up outside my house with some decidedly shady looking governmental type dudes in it wearing dark suits and shades…. pray for me…. |
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"WTF is this all about
I’m sending you the details telepathically but it might take a little while to come through as I seem to be presently and completely inadvertently, tuning into a US spy satellite….
Those fucking us satellites we need a plan
Matters have just taken a grave turn….there’s a black car just pulled up outside my house with some decidedly shady looking governmental type dudes in it wearing dark suits and shades…. pray for me…. "
Sending advice telepathically!
J |
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"WTF is this all about
I’m sending you the details telepathically but it might take a little while to come through as I seem to be presently and completely inadvertently, tuning into a US spy satellite….
Those fucking us satellites we need a plan
Matters have just taken a grave turn….there’s a black car just pulled up outside my house with some decidedly shady looking governmental type dudes in it wearing dark suits and shades…. pray for me…. "
It okay my tits will save you x |
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Exclusive: I’ve just received a message from Mr Norris McWhirter from the other side.
He has asked me to pass on the following to you all:
‘Alright geezers; if any of you know the identity and whereabouts of that know-it-all little twat who famously mugged me off on that episode of Record Breakers, could you give him a good facking hiding from me? Cheers. PS. Lovely titties ladies! ’
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"WTF is this all about
I’m sending you the details telepathically but it might take a little while to come through as I seem to be presently and completely inadvertently, tuning into a US spy satellite….
Those fucking us satellites we need a plan
Matters have just taken a grave turn….there’s a black car just pulled up outside my house with some decidedly shady looking governmental type dudes in it wearing dark suits and shades…. pray for me…. "
It’s ok they are just the new breed of door to door salesmen, trying to look effortcool and official whilst selling you some tea towels, the force is strong |
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"Exclusive: I’ve just received a message from Mr Norris McWhirter from the other side.
He has asked me to pass on the following to you all:
‘Alright geezers; if any of you know the identity and whereabouts of that know-it-all little twat who famously mugged me off on that episode of Record Breakers, could you give him a good facking hiding from me? Cheers. PS. Lovely titties ladies! ’
"
Your aren't too bad either.x |
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I’ve just received this charming message from an anonymous lovely lady:
‘Dear Sensual: Have you ever had sexual liaisons with an Amazon delivery driver?’
Well, mystery lady with the sexily voiced thoughts, I can reveal that I have sadly not but did however once spot a very attractive DPD driver (although she didn’t actually deliver to my house) |
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"Exclusive: I’ve just received a message from Mr Norris McWhirter from the other side.
He has asked me to pass on the following to you all:
‘Alright geezers; if any of you know the identity and whereabouts of that know-it-all little twat who famously mugged me off on that episode of Record Breakers, could you give him a good facking hiding from me? Cheers. PS. Lovely titties ladies! ’
Your aren't too bad either.x"
Norris is thanking you |
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I’ve just intercepted this fascinating message from one of you: ‘I have a yearning to try pot noodles in a sandwich. Am I dirty?’
Thankfully, uncle Sensual can answer this; far from dirty, you are amongst the chosen few.
Indeed, a pot noodle sandwich was the favoured food of Zeus himself so chomp in and take your proud place in Olympus |
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"I’ve just intercepted this fascinating message from one of you: ‘I have a yearning to try pot noodles in a sandwich. Am I dirty?’
Thankfully, uncle Sensual can answer this; far from dirty, you are amongst the chosen few.
Indeed, a pot noodle sandwich was the favoured food of Zeus himself so chomp in and take your proud place in Olympus "
Zeus conned you & you fell for it |
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"Not intuited anything directly for me. "
Ah ha! I am seeing a tall dark stranger….
He is beckoning you with his finger ala Patrick Swayze in Dirty Dancing…..
He is unbuttoning his jeans….
Great Scott! I shall shield your eyes from this sight!…. |
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By *stellaWoman
over a year ago
London |
"Not intuited anything directly for me.
Ah ha! I am seeing a tall dark stranger….
He is beckoning you with his finger ala Patrick Swayze in Dirty Dancing…..
He is unbuttoning his jeans….
Great Scott! I shall shield your eyes from this sight!…. "
It better be you! Bucks comrade. |
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"Not intuited anything directly for me.
Ah ha! I am seeing a tall dark stranger….
He is beckoning you with his finger ala Patrick Swayze in Dirty Dancing…..
He is unbuttoning his jeans….
Great Scott! I shall shield your eyes from this sight!….
It better be you! Bucks comrade. "
It is I was standing in front of the mirror in fact.
….which likely begs the question, do I often stand in front of mirrors performing Dirty Dancing impressions…?  um….. |
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By *stellaWoman
over a year ago
London |
"Not intuited anything directly for me.
Ah ha! I am seeing a tall dark stranger….
He is beckoning you with his finger ala Patrick Swayze in Dirty Dancing…..
He is unbuttoning his jeans….
Great Scott! I shall shield your eyes from this sight!….
It better be you! Bucks comrade.
It is I was standing in front of the mirror in fact.
….which likely begs the question, do I often stand in front of mirrors performing Dirty Dancing impressions…? um….. "
Are you going to give me the time of my life? |
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"Not intuited anything directly for me.
Ah ha! I am seeing a tall dark stranger….
He is beckoning you with his finger ala Patrick Swayze in Dirty Dancing…..
He is unbuttoning his jeans….
Great Scott! I shall shield your eyes from this sight!….
It better be you! Bucks comrade.
It is I was standing in front of the mirror in fact.
….which likely begs the question, do I often stand in front of mirrors performing Dirty Dancing impressions…? um…..
Are you going to give me the time of my life?"
Nobody puts Estella in the corner |
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By *stellaWoman
over a year ago
London |
"Not intuited anything directly for me.
Ah ha! I am seeing a tall dark stranger….
He is beckoning you with his finger ala Patrick Swayze in Dirty Dancing…..
He is unbuttoning his jeans….
Great Scott! I shall shield your eyes from this sight!….
It better be you! Bucks comrade.
It is I was standing in front of the mirror in fact.
….which likely begs the question, do I often stand in front of mirrors performing Dirty Dancing impressions…? um…..
Are you going to give me the time of my life?
Nobody puts Estella in the corner "
*picks up a watermelon |
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"Not intuited anything directly for me.
Ah ha! I am seeing a tall dark stranger….
He is beckoning you with his finger ala Patrick Swayze in Dirty Dancing…..
He is unbuttoning his jeans….
Great Scott! I shall shield your eyes from this sight!….
It better be you! Bucks comrade.
It is I was standing in front of the mirror in fact.
….which likely begs the question, do I often stand in front of mirrors performing Dirty Dancing impressions…? um…..
Are you going to give me the time of my life?
Nobody puts Estella in the corner "
Only me |
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By *stellaWoman
over a year ago
London |
"Not intuited anything directly for me.
Ah ha! I am seeing a tall dark stranger….
He is beckoning you with his finger ala Patrick Swayze in Dirty Dancing…..
He is unbuttoning his jeans….
Great Scott! I shall shield your eyes from this sight!….
It better be you! Bucks comrade.
It is I was standing in front of the mirror in fact.
….which likely begs the question, do I often stand in front of mirrors performing Dirty Dancing impressions…? um…..
Are you going to give me the time of my life?
Nobody puts Estella in the corner
Only me"
Promises promises. |
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"Took a while but finally got a message. It says... "A little hazy, try again later" 
I heard a message for you earlier. ^^ up thread "
Ooooh that must've got lost in the ether! I can definitely slip them lower if needed |
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"Not intuited anything directly for me.
Ah ha! I am seeing a tall dark stranger….
He is beckoning you with his finger ala Patrick Swayze in Dirty Dancing…..
He is unbuttoning his jeans….
Great Scott! I shall shield your eyes from this sight!….
It better be you! Bucks comrade.
It is I was standing in front of the mirror in fact.
….which likely begs the question, do I often stand in front of mirrors performing Dirty Dancing impressions…? um…..
Are you going to give me the time of my life?
Nobody puts Estella in the corner
Only me"
|
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By *stellaWoman
over a year ago
London |
"Took a while but finally got a message. It says... "A little hazy, try again later"
I heard a message for you earlier. ^^ up thread
Ooooh that must've got lost in the ether! I can definitely slip them lower if needed "
Fair. It may have been my wishful thinking. |
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I have received a rather uncouth message from a gentleman enquiring as regards how often I shave my balloon knot.
I must say I found the wording of said psychic message to be both highly crass and needlessly vulgar.
….But yeah, anyway, once a week mate but it itches like buggery a few days later when the arsehole stubble starts to regrow. Hope this helps yeah? |
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"Took a while but finally got a message. It says... "A little hazy, try again later"
I heard a message for you earlier. ^^ up thread
Ooooh that must've got lost in the ether! I can definitely slip them lower if needed
Fair. It may have been my wishful thinking. "
Wait, I'm confused. Does is that a good thing? This thread confused me |
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By *stellaWoman
over a year ago
London |
"Took a while but finally got a message. It says... "A little hazy, try again later"
I heard a message for you earlier. ^^ up thread
Ooooh that must've got lost in the ether! I can definitely slip them lower if needed
Fair. It may have been my wishful thinking.
Wait, I'm confused. Does is that a good thing? This thread confused me "
It may be a terrible thing. It is me after all. |
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