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Making time...
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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago
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How good are you at making time for those you like? Whether platonic, sexually, romantically - you get the idea. It could be spending time with someone, messaging etc.
Do you sometimes wish you were better at it or are you happy with how things are?
*there was a random emote. Had to delete it. |
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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
Oh Meli. Random emote? I'm distressed by this.
I'm very good at making time for those I like, I feel it's very important to do so. And that's in all ways. I try not to leave messages from friends or loved ones unread or unanswered, I always answer the phone, unless indisposed, I'll make time to spend with them.
Maybe I'm too good at it. There is a chance people see me as a pushover, too accommodating. I certainly feel as if sometimes people expect it.  |
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On the rare occasion I really like someone I can’t help but being attentive…sometimes I wonder if it’s the adhd people pleaser in me or just that I am a caring person  Nonetheless, I am generous with my affection if I really like someone in a romantic way, family and friends, but a bit more guarded when things are platonic  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Is something I really wish I was better at. It isn’t even always that I’m busy, is sometimes that I am just doing nothing and still don’t find the energy/time to do these things
Have been really poor on my part of late |
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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago
South Wales |
It’s difficult and one of the (many) reasons I’m not currently looking for anything. My time is split between working, looking after my mum, looking after my kids and looking after my 3 dogs. I don’t really have time to dedicate to anyone and if I really liked them I’d feel sad and maybe a bit resentful, and I don’t want that. |
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By *stellaWoman
over a year ago
London |
If they’ve become one of my people, I will ensure I’m available and make time for them. They’re important to me. Life can get busy and things come up but communication is key, and managing expectations. Although it’s okay to express emotions such as disappointment if plans don’t go ahead, not as punishment or for a reaction but to ensure they’ve been processed and you’re being truthful. But live lightly and without enforcing constraint on others or yourself and carve out time to invest in your people, and all will be well. |
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Modus operandi I will make time for people I like.
On very rare occasions, if I really like someone and I can't work out if it's platonic, sexual or romantic my head can get into a spin and I start hearing the magic roundabout theme tune in my mind.
I usually call my mate then. When she is done pissing herself laughing at me - she resets my brain for me. |
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There is never, ever enough time. I want more. More time with the people I care about, and more time with the people I want to kiss.
People sometimes have to be patient with me, and I’m so very lucky that they are. |
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By *edeWoman
over a year ago
the abyss |
I would like to hope I'm good at making time for people. I always try to make sure I answer messages etc as soon as I can and not leave people on 'read'.
There are people I would like to have more time with but it can be more complicated to work in with work and family commitments on both sides. I will always try and make the effort to at least meet halfway as it's unfair for one person to always have to be the one to make the effort |
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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago
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"I personally find it difficult.. so easy to get swept away with life and end up feeling guilty that you've not taken the time to chat/
Message.. "
Yeah, definitely. Sometimes I don't have headspace to talk to people one on one. I think my friends understand that.
There's a lot to be said for living in the moment, of course there is. I guess you carve time out of your busy life if you really want to. |
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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago
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"Oh Meli. Random emote? I'm distressed by this.
I'm very good at making time for those I like, I feel it's very important to do so. And that's in all ways. I try not to leave messages from friends or loved ones unread or unanswered, I always answer the phone, unless indisposed, I'll make time to spend with them.
Maybe I'm too good at it. There is a chance people see me as a pushover, too accommodating. I certainly feel as if sometimes people expect it. "
I'm sorry Posh, I am. It just happened. I was typing and also trying to blow dry my hair - clearly can't multitask.
Aww that's really lovely! Sorry your experience is it becomes an expectation; how do you navigate that? Or are you a bit of a people pleaser? |
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I suspect that I've constantly let people down because of promising too much to too many, and hopelessly underestimating how long it would take me to do anything. I stretch myself thin between work and commitment to others, try to give when perhaps sometimes I need to take, and probably don't give myself the time that I should. Resulting in an occasional emotional crash.
The last few years have been particularly trying, but I think that I have been too much like this all my life. |
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"I suspect that I've constantly let people down because of promising too much to too many, and hopelessly underestimating how long it would take me to do anything. I stretch myself thin between work and commitment to others, try to give when perhaps sometimes I need to take, and probably don't give myself the time that I should. Resulting in an occasional emotional crash.
The last few years have been particularly trying, but I think that I have been too much like this all my life."
I'm totally with you x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I make a huge effort with friends.
I text regularly, we do days out, theatre trips, cinema.
I've not met anyone romantically to be that on the ball with. |
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By *nkyCplCouple
over a year ago
Northampton |
"How good are you at making time for those you like? Whether platonic, sexually, romantically - you get the idea. It could be spending time with someone, messaging etc.
Do you sometimes wish you were better at it or are you happy with how things are?
*there was a random emote. Had to delete it. "
I probably invest too much time in others if anything. I’ll go out my way to do anything for the people in my circle.
Anyone else get massively sensitive & upset when others don’t invest the same energy into relationships? Be that friends, family or romance? |
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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"Oh Meli. Random emote? I'm distressed by this.
I'm very good at making time for those I like, I feel it's very important to do so. And that's in all ways. I try not to leave messages from friends or loved ones unread or unanswered, I always answer the phone, unless indisposed, I'll make time to spend with them.
Maybe I'm too good at it. There is a chance people see me as a pushover, too accommodating. I certainly feel as if sometimes people expect it.
I'm sorry Posh, I am. It just happened. I was typing and also trying to blow dry my hair - clearly can't multitask.
Aww that's really lovely! Sorry your experience is it becomes an expectation; how do you navigate that? Or are you a bit of a people pleaser? "
I've been a bit of a people pleaser all my life, but I'm becoming better at figuring out when a relationship (of any type) has become completely one sided, and after I internally deal with the heartache and brain goblins, I can sometimes manage to take the first step away. I'm still learning.
Because I've had that experience so often, though, I do have a tendency to believe it is happening when it isn't. Messages left on read, someone forgetting details... they're all red... no, not red flags... maybe amber flags, to me. And I'm coming to find that in some cases that is unfair of me.
Trauma, past experience, they all help with learning curves I think, if we can unpack the detail and see the lesson.
I do think that most people try and make time for others, it just depends what time they have available and how they prioritise it. And sometimes I think we forget that the important thing is that we are on someone's priority list, not what number we are. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This year, I’ve been awesome. Partly because filling empty space (time when I’ve got nothing to do) was much more preferable, so if anyone asked to do anything, I was all over it.
Last year, not so much, I just avoided everyone.
I’ve now realised the enjoyment I get from even the smallest meeting and catch up.
I want to know how people are getting along, if I can enhance their life like they do mine. That kinda thing. |
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We used to be very good at making time for other people, both established friends and family and also new connections. It felt good to give generously of our time and attention and heart and kindness. A lot has changed however, and these days we have become very bad at it. Life is busy and gets in the way, but also the desire to be close to others and be present in their lives, and have others be present in ours, has faded. We know that in some ways we are poorer for it, but in other ways, being distant from people is blessed relief. |
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I think I’m pretty good. Aside from hubby and the kids I don’t have a massive family and I live the other end of the country to my parents and brother so my friends are really important to me. I try to always fit some time in, even if it’s just a quick coffee and I rarely cancel on people. If not in person I always drop friends messages checking in on them and they do the same to me.
I also enjoy the connections I make on here and believe you have to invest a bit of time to get the best out of them.
Kx
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I very much believe in if he/she wanted to they would. So I believe if you are interested in someone you make time for them, whether that be messaging, meeting, spending time with them.
Family and friends can get taken for granted because we think they'll always be there, so it's just as important to give them time and attention as well. |
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"How good are you at making time for those you like? Whether platonic, sexually, romantically - you get the idea. It could be spending time with someone, messaging etc.
Do you sometimes wish you were better at it or are you happy with how things are?
*there was a random emote. Had to delete it. "
When I care for someone, I find I can make time very easily.
I deeply care for my friends and I hope they feel the love from me. |
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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago
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"I very much believe in if he/she wanted to they would. So I believe if you are interested in someone you make time for them, whether that be messaging, meeting, spending time with them.
Family and friends can get taken for granted because we think they'll always be there, so it's just as important to give them time and attention as well."
If they wanted to, they would is exactly the comment in a voice note that inspired this thread.
I know that life happens etc, sometimes I'm awful at making time for people. But if I really want to, I will. Might take a bit of time.  |
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Messaging, there's people on here I used to regularly chat to morning noon and night and slowly that has disappeared into hardly ever and I miss it
Life took over and I let it slip when I shouldn't have.
Tinder |
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It's difficult, and those that matter and care are not only aware, but generally in the same situation. Making time for my friends is easy because we are all on the same football team and we pretty much all support Liverpool. I have my kids half the week so that one is easy, and they like to see their grandparents once a week, so that part is easy, too.
Making time for someone new or someone special is always quite challenging, though, as I work a lot I'm between those times |
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