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Life skills

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

After stumbling onto an FBI video about how to survive an active shooter event I’ve been learning other life skills. I can now survive bear attacks, earthquakes, the bar being out of Bacardi, and various other events which tend to make my life awkward. Confident I can sashay away from danger, I’m curious what life skills have you learned lately fabistas, fabulettes and fabulars?

What could I learn from you?

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By *estarossa.Woman  over a year ago

Flagrante

How to pick a horses hoof up!

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By *enrietteandSamCouple  over a year ago

Staffordshire

When asked if I want salad on my kebab…

Frowning jazz hands

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By *emorefridaCouple  over a year ago

La la land

What to do if a lift cable breaks. Got stuck in a lift in work and then got thinking, which for me at least is a dangerous thing

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Charisma

Uniqueness

Nerve

Talent

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By *enrietteandSamCouple  over a year ago

Staffordshire


"Charisma

Uniqueness

Nerve

Talent"

You called

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By *inky_couple2020Couple  over a year ago

North West


"What to do if a lift cable breaks. Got stuck in a lift in work and then got thinking, which for me at least is a dangerous thing "

Yikes! Did you have snacks with you?!

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"What to do if a lift cable breaks. Got stuck in a lift in work and then got thinking, which for me at least is a dangerous thing "

Did you learn what to do? Other than ping a sternly worded maintenance email as the small metal cubicle hurtles towards oblivion?

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By *aggonerMan  over a year ago

for a penny


"What to do if a lift cable breaks. Got stuck in a lift in work and then got thinking, which for me at least is a dangerous thing

Did you learn what to do? Other than ping a sternly worded maintenance email as the small metal cubicle hurtles towards oblivion? "

Lifts can’t plummet groundwards other than in films. They have back-up safety devices to stop them.

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"When asked if I want salad on my kebab…

Frowning jazz hands "

Why is the “salad” always at least 97% onion?

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"What to do if a lift cable breaks. Got stuck in a lift in work and then got thinking, which for me at least is a dangerous thing

Did you learn what to do? Other than ping a sternly worded maintenance email as the small metal cubicle hurtles towards oblivion?

Lifts can’t plummet groundwards other than in films. They have back-up safety devices to stop them. "

Life skill acquired: wait for back up safety device

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By *aggonerMan  over a year ago

for a penny

I’ve learned not to run away from wolves. They are out to intimidate you. Stand your ground and they will respect you.

I saw it on the internet. It’s true.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I learnt how to survive a crocodile attack, its amazing advice...

Learn where crocodiles live and stay away.

Now it's important to realise that this advice does not work for aligators, cos they tend not to live in the same place as crocodiles.

YW

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By *enrietteandSamCouple  over a year ago

Staffordshire


"When asked if I want salad on my kebab…

Frowning jazz hands

Why is the “salad” always at least 97% onion? "

Random onion fact…

In ancient Egypt, the onion was a symbol of eternity as it is a circle-within-a-circle.

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By *ex HolesMan  over a year ago

Up North

You had me right up until I read Bacardi

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"I learnt how to survive a crocodile attack, its amazing advice...

Learn where crocodiles live and stay away.

Now it's important to realise that this advice does not work for aligators, cos they tend not to live in the same place as crocodiles.

YW "

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"When asked if I want salad on my kebab…

Frowning jazz hands

Why is the “salad” always at least 97% onion?

Random onion fact…

In ancient Egypt, the onion was a symbol of eternity as it is a circle-within-a-circle.

"

I’m partial to a random fact or two. Know any about kebabs?

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"You had me right up until I read Bacardi "

Talk about escalating right?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"

I’m partial to a random fact or two. Know any about kebabs? "

OK, apparently this information has come from research (no doubt by our esteemed colleagues at Sydney Uni):

1. An average kebab contains 148% of the daily saturated fat limit (but what is an average kebab, is it a small donner or a large shish or a mixed meat or...)

2. The average kebab provides 98% of an adult's daily salt quota (of course that assumes you eat the thing and not just look at it).

3. An average kebab contains nearly 1,000 calories, half the daily recommended maximum for women (I don't think it counts for men cos the only time they have a kebab they are so bevied up that calories are irrelevant).

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By *emorefridaCouple  over a year ago

La la land


"What to do if a lift cable breaks. Got stuck in a lift in work and then got thinking, which for me at least is a dangerous thing

Yikes! Did you have snacks with you?! "

No and no phone with me and it was nearly school run time

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By *aucasian GhandiMan  over a year ago

from my dad's left nut (Warwick)

The art of leaving my curtains 10 to 20 inches slightly open

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By *emorefridaCouple  over a year ago

La la land


"What to do if a lift cable breaks. Got stuck in a lift in work and then got thinking, which for me at least is a dangerous thing

Did you learn what to do? Other than ping a sternly worded maintenance email as the small metal cubicle hurtles towards oblivion? "

That is exactly what I will do, signed off with just regards for added sterness

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By *emorefridaCouple  over a year ago

La la land


"What to do if a lift cable breaks. Got stuck in a lift in work and then got thinking, which for me at least is a dangerous thing

Did you learn what to do? Other than ping a sternly worded maintenance email as the small metal cubicle hurtles towards oblivion?

Lifts can’t plummet groundwards other than in films. They have back-up safety devices to stop them. "

No but the ones in work do bloody drop and it's scary as hell.

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By *eschef81Man  over a year ago

sutton

It's like did you know 98% of shark attacks happen in water

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"The art of leaving my curtains 10 to 20 inches slightly open "

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"After stumbling onto an FBI video about how to survive an active shooter event I’ve been learning other life skills. I can now survive bear attacks, earthquakes, the bar being out of Bacardi, and various other events which tend to make my life awkward. Confident I can sashay away from danger, I’m curious what life skills have you learned lately fabistas, fabulettes and fabulars?

What could I learn from you? "

I can sew a button on.

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By *elix SightedMan  over a year ago

Cloud 8


"What to do if a lift cable breaks. Got stuck in a lift in work and then got thinking, which for me at least is a dangerous thing "

Don’t tell me - you’d wait until it’s almost at the bottom and then jump?!

Has to work, right?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"The art of leaving my curtains 10 to 20 inches slightly open "

Now that is just being naughty, you never know what other Fabsters might jump all over you (and not in a good way). I am still sitting with a bowl of popcorn watching the theatre in that thread!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

From me? Probably not much. But from you I definitely could learn how to make up

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By *ensuallover1000Man  over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…


"

I’m partial to a random fact or two. Know any about kebabs?

OK, apparently this information has come from research (no doubt by our esteemed colleagues at Sydney Uni):

1. An average kebab contains 148% of the daily saturated fat limit (but what is an average kebab, is it a small donner or a large shish or a mixed meat or...)

2. The average kebab provides 98% of an adult's daily salt quota (of course that assumes you eat the thing and not just look at it).

3. An average kebab contains nearly 1,000 calories, half the daily recommended maximum for women (I don't think it counts for men cos the only time they have a kebab they are so bevied up that calories are irrelevant).

"

Cor….I actually really fancy one after reading that…

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"It's like did you know 98% of shark attacks happen in water "

Funny you should say that, cos when I was in Hong Kong I learnt some interesting life skills re sharks.

Go on then, since you asked, I will share them:

1. How to avoid a shark attack - this is very important as I have been scared of sharks since seeing Jaws in 1975 - don't go in the water.

2. Er that's it.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Self defence

First aid

De fib trained

Fire warden

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"After stumbling onto an FBI video about how to survive an active shooter event I’ve been learning other life skills. I can now survive bear attacks, earthquakes, the bar being out of Bacardi, and various other events which tend to make my life awkward. Confident I can sashay away from danger, I’m curious what life skills have you learned lately fabistas, fabulettes and fabulars?

What could I learn from you?

I can sew a button on. "

In the very credible and possible circumstance that a sniper has orders to shoot the one with a missing button this is a core life skill.

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Self defence

First aid

De fib trained

Fire warden

"

Stuff they teach in the bus as it heads to Luton. What else ya got?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Self defence

First aid

De fib trained

Fire warden

Stuff they teach in the bus as it heads to Luton. What else ya got? "

Lol sorry that’s it oh how to get Pringles out tube without them breaking

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By *elliflousCouple  over a year ago

North West.

Handstands and cartwheels.

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Handstands and cartwheels. "

Please teach me. It’ll impress the king fu assassins next time they drop by for an ass ummm kicking

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Self defence

First aid

De fib trained

Fire warden

Stuff they teach in the bus as it heads to Luton. What else ya got?

Lol sorry that’s it oh how to get Pringles out tube without them breaking "

Expert bordering god level

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By *ensuallover1000Man  over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

I have read a few books on how to survive the imminent zombie apocalypse.

Basically, run and keep running!

Also it might be judicious to build a tree house as the buggers can’t climb.

….except for those ones in World War Z….in which case we’re all fucked

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I’ve learned of peak and peak electricity times.

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By *oodmessMan  over a year ago

yumsville

After just getting eyed up by a pretty 20 something at the local shop - and her asking randomly if it (my cigarettes) were a large, I can confidently say I can fumble my wallet and slap a card machine like nobody else.

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By *elix SightedMan  over a year ago

Cloud 8

A life skill I desperately want to learn is how to whistle loudly. Not a little tune in the car, a “watch out that piano is about to fall on you” kinda thang

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By *elix SightedMan  over a year ago

Cloud 8


"I’ve learned of peak and peak electricity times. "

No! You can’t have, they don’t want you to know those. Have you checked?

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"I have read a few books on how to survive the imminent zombie apocalypse.

Basically, run and keep running!

Also it might be judicious to build a tree house as the buggers can’t climb.

….except for those ones in World War Z….in which case we’re all fucked "

I do draw the line at getting fucked by a zombie

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"A life skill I desperately want to learn is how to whistle loudly. Not a little tune in the car, a “watch out that piano is about to fall on you” kinda thang"

Is that an ed Sheeran song?

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By *onguesandpunsMan  over a year ago

East Midlands

Due to coming from a modest family background (financially speaking), I've basically been living in a cost of living crisis since I left home aged 19.

So when the actual 'COLC' (as nobody is calling it) hit, it hasn't really impacted me too much so far (touch wood) as I've always been used to having a modest lifestyle.

At the moment, I'm about £850 in credit on my gas and electricity account and am hoping to pay off my 17 year mortgage inside 9 years in about the next 22 months.

Having so little for so long has given me an iron will when it comes to making do, buying second hand and living within my means.

Best wishes to anyone struggling financially at this difficult time. X

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By *inky_couple2020Couple  over a year ago

North West


"What to do if a lift cable breaks. Got stuck in a lift in work and then got thinking, which for me at least is a dangerous thing

Yikes! Did you have snacks with you?!

No and no phone with me and it was nearly school run time "

Blinkin' heck!

I was once involved in a serious car accident on my way to collect my then-5yo son from school. Once someone had helped me out of my upside down vehicle, my only concern was ringing school. Not an ambulance or police or anyone else. School. Mr KC was off on am oil rig on night shifts at the time too

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By *elix SightedMan  over a year ago

Cloud 8


"What to do if a lift cable breaks. Got stuck in a lift in work and then got thinking, which for me at least is a dangerous thing

Yikes! Did you have snacks with you?!

No and no phone with me and it was nearly school run time

Blinkin' heck!

I was once involved in a serious car accident on my way to collect my then-5yo son from school. Once someone had helped me out of my upside down vehicle, my only concern was ringing school. Not an ambulance or police or anyone else. School. Mr KC was off on am oil rig on night shifts at the time too "

Maybe next time you won’t look at that empty car transporter as a ramp

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"I’ve learned of peak and peak electricity times. "

Don’t put a wet finger in the socket to check for electricity. I learned that.

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By *ools and the brainCouple  over a year ago

couple, us we him her.

I'm learning to speak Russian, you know just in case

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 09/05/23 19:50:58]

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By *eschef81Man  over a year ago

sutton


"It's like did you know 98% of shark attacks happen in water

Funny you should say that, cos when I was in Hong Kong I learnt some interesting life skills re sharks.

Go on then, since you asked, I will share them:

1. How to avoid a shark attack - this is very important as I have been scared of sharks since seeing Jaws in 1975 - don't go in the water.

2. Er that's it. "

In Jaws you don't actually see jaws for around 45 minutes

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By *ddie1966Man  over a year ago

Paper Town Central, Essex.

How to release a shopping trolly when you don't have a coin or token...

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By *inky_couple2020Couple  over a year ago

North West


"How to release a shopping trolly when you don't have a coin or token..."

Pick up a basket?!

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By *ddie1966Man  over a year ago

Paper Town Central, Essex.

[Removed by poster at 09/05/23 23:02:28]

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By *ddie1966Man  over a year ago

Paper Town Central, Essex.


"How to release a shopping trolly when you don't have a coin or token...

Pick up a basket?! "

Rond end of a yale key or push a bic pen lid into te slot...

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By *929Man  over a year ago

newcastle


"I have read a few books on how to survive the imminent zombie apocalypse.

Basically, run and keep running!

Also it might be judicious to build a tree house as the buggers can’t climb.

….except for those ones in World War Z….in which case we’re all fucked "

Or hide in the loft and pull the ladder up like the bloke did on night of the living dead

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By *ust RachelTV/TS  over a year ago

Horsham

How to sail a boat badly.

How to shoot a rifle,

Replace an bicycle inner tube without using tyre levers.

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By *ools and the brainCouple  over a year ago

couple, us we him her.


"How to sail a boat badly.

How to shoot a rifle,

Replace an bicycle inner tube without using tyre levers."

How do you replace a bike inner tube without using levers?

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By *929Man  over a year ago

newcastle


"How to sail a boat badly.

How to shoot a rifle,

Replace an bicycle inner tube without using tyre levers.

How do you replace a bike inner tube without using levers?"

I used to use my mothers spoons much to her annoyance

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By *ools and the brainCouple  over a year ago

couple, us we him her.


"How to sail a boat badly.

How to shoot a rifle,

Replace an bicycle inner tube without using tyre levers.

How do you replace a bike inner tube without using levers?

I used to use my mothers spoons much to her annoyance "

Well yeah I lost count of the amount of bent Spoon's in our shed .

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"How to sail a boat badly.

How to shoot a rifle,

Replace an bicycle inner tube without using tyre levers.

How do you replace a bike inner tube without using levers?

I used to use my mothers spoons much to her annoyance

Well yeah I lost count of the amount of bent Spoon's in our shed ."

Not very inclusive shed then?

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By *inky_couple2020Couple  over a year ago

North West


"How to sail a boat badly.

How to shoot a rifle,

Replace an bicycle inner tube without using tyre levers.

How do you replace a bike inner tube without using levers?

I used to use my mothers spoons much to her annoyance

Well yeah I lost count of the amount of bent Spoon's in our shed ."

Uri, is that you?

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By *ools and the brainCouple  over a year ago

couple, us we him her.


"How to sail a boat badly.

How to shoot a rifle,

Replace an bicycle inner tube without using tyre levers.

How do you replace a bike inner tube without using levers?

I used to use my mothers spoons much to her annoyance

Well yeah I lost count of the amount of bent Spoon's in our shed .

Not very inclusive shed then? "

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