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"Hi, when will the Oracle next be visiting the North West of England J" Well, she's still in the bath so it won't be tonight. Sparkle might tempt her his summer though. | |||
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"Jennie the omniscient knows all and is in her bath of wisdom. Come to the oracle and ask your question. The great all seeing and all knowing will provide your answer. (She's a bit rusty on Quantum Physics though!)" Hail Jennie the omniscient, Ohhh one of almighty knowlegde. when in my matrix will a bi couple fancy me? I need to know. so that I can take my blue pill! | |||
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"Dearest Jennie, If celibacy is the answer, what was the question?" question - What happens when your a man on fab | |||
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"will get any sleep tonight or will the back pain keep me awake?" The pain killers will help a little. You will eventually drift off but it will take longer than usual. | |||
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"will get any sleep tonight or will the back pain keep me awake? The pain killers will help a little. You will eventually drift off but it will take longer than usual." i need to get some then. i hate taking medication | |||
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"Jennie the omniscient knows all and is in her bath of wisdom. Come to the oracle and ask your question. The great all seeing and all knowing will provide your answer. (She's a bit rusty on Quantum Physics though!) Hail Jennie the omniscient, Ohhh one of almighty knowlegde. when in my matrix will a bi couple fancy me? I need to know. so that I can take my blue pill!" In YOUR matrix plenty already do. | |||
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"Dearest Jennie, If celibacy is the answer, what was the question?" What is Jennie's current state. That is the question. | |||
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"will get any sleep tonight or will the back pain keep me awake? The pain killers will help a little. You will eventually drift off but it will take longer than usual. i need to get some then. i hate taking medication" Well take some you twonk! | |||
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"Dearest Jennie. Kind of a twofer. Will I manage to make it through the entirety of May without reaching a blank canvas? And will I get to have that inflicted by both of my favourite artists?" Your canvas will be adorned during May. But only by one of the two. | |||
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"will get any sleep tonight or will the back pain keep me awake? The pain killers will help a little. You will eventually drift off but it will take longer than usual. i need to get some then. i hate taking medication Well take some you twonk!" i dont have any | |||
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"will get any sleep tonight or will the back pain keep me awake? The pain killers will help a little. You will eventually drift off but it will take longer than usual. i need to get some then. i hate taking medication Well take some you twonk! i dont have any " Get some. The garage down the road is still open. | |||
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"[Removed by poster at 02/05/23 22:27:29]" ^^^Twonk. Dear Jennie, Will the 30-odd kidneys in my fridge be defrosted in time? | |||
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"will get any sleep tonight or will the back pain keep me awake? The pain killers will help a little. You will eventually drift off but it will take longer than usual. i need to get some then. i hate taking medication Well take some you twonk! i dont have any Get some. The garage down the road is still open." can i just cut my head off and put it in a jar instead? | |||
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"[Removed by poster at 02/05/23 22:27:29] ^^^Twonk. Dear Jennie, Will the 30-odd kidneys in my fridge be defrosted in time? " Yes. But only just. But. Do you really want to cook urine filters? | |||
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"will get any sleep tonight or will the back pain keep me awake? The pain killers will help a little. You will eventually drift off but it will take longer than usual. i need to get some then. i hate taking medication Well take some you twonk! i dont have any Get some. The garage down the road is still open. can i just cut my head off and put it in a jar instead? " Wonko the Uumellmahaye | |||
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"[Removed by poster at 02/05/23 22:27:29] ^^^Twonk. Dear Jennie, Will the 30-odd kidneys in my fridge be defrosted in time? " Sidebar... Did they come from 30 individuals or 15? | |||
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"Is fate real? Or is it all just a bunch of random shit and we try to make some sense out of it? Or is that a false dichotomy?" It's all predetermined... obvs ... thats how the Oracle knows everything that will come to pass | |||
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"will get any sleep tonight or will the back pain keep me awake? The pain killers will help a little. You will eventually drift off but it will take longer than usual. i need to get some then. i hate taking medication Well take some you twonk! i dont have any Get some. The garage down the road is still open. can i just cut my head off and put it in a jar instead? " No. Because once the head is severed you won't be able to find the jar. | |||
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"will get any sleep tonight or will the back pain keep me awake? The pain killers will help a little. You will eventually drift off but it will take longer than usual. i need to get some then. i hate taking medication Well take some you twonk! i dont have any Get some. The garage down the road is still open. can i just cut my head off and put it in a jar instead? Wonko the Uumellmahaye" huh? | |||
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"All hail the Jennie Will I get to go on the road trip I'm hoping for soon " Yes. But not as soon as you are hoping for | |||
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"will get any sleep tonight or will the back pain keep me awake? The pain killers will help a little. You will eventually drift off but it will take longer than usual. i need to get some then. i hate taking medication Well take some you twonk! i dont have any Get some. The garage down the road is still open. can i just cut my head off and put it in a jar instead? No. Because once the head is severed you won't be able to find the jar." surely i just sit it in front of me when i put my head in the guillotine? | |||
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"will get any sleep tonight or will the back pain keep me awake? The pain killers will help a little. You will eventually drift off but it will take longer than usual. i need to get some then. i hate taking medication Well take some you twonk! i dont have any Get some. The garage down the road is still open. can i just cut my head off and put it in a jar instead? Wonko the Uumellmahaye huh?" It's the surname of the brain in a jar in The Man With Two Brains. I need to watch that again soon. J | |||
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"will get any sleep tonight or will the back pain keep me awake? The pain killers will help a little. You will eventually drift off but it will take longer than usual. i need to get some then. i hate taking medication Well take some you twonk! i dont have any Get some. The garage down the road is still open. can i just cut my head off and put it in a jar instead? No. Because once the head is severed you won't be able to find the jar. surely i just sit it in front of me when i put my head in the guillotine? " You don't have a guillotine. Jennie knows these things. At keast you don't have one chonky enough ho cut through your neck | |||
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"Jennie the omniscient knows all and is in her bath of wisdom. Come to the oracle and ask your question. The great all seeing and all knowing will provide your answer. (She's a bit rusty on Quantum Physics though!)" I am still waiting on our movie script | |||
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"All hail the Jennie Will I get to go on the road trip I'm hoping for soon Yes. But not as soon as you are hoping for" I just ran the full gamut of emotion | |||
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"Hey Jennie... What's 6ft long and wrapped around a twat? " My lycia cat suit | |||
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"Hey Jennie... What's 6ft long and wrapped around a twat? My lycia cat suit" *lycra | |||
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"Jennie the omniscient knows all and is in her bath of wisdom. Come to the oracle and ask your question. The great all seeing and all knowing will provide your answer. (She's a bit rusty on Quantum Physics though!) I am still waiting on our movie script " .... its in the post.... And its a mini series. Movies are so last year dahling | |||
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"All hail the Jennie Will I get to go on the road trip I'm hoping for soon Yes. But not as soon as you are hoping for I just ran the full gamut of emotion" Jennie is the mere font of the truth. It is for you to interpret | |||
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"will get any sleep tonight or will the back pain keep me awake? The pain killers will help a little. You will eventually drift off but it will take longer than usual. i need to get some then. i hate taking medication Well take some you twonk! i dont have any Get some. The garage down the road is still open. can i just cut my head off and put it in a jar instead? No. Because once the head is severed you won't be able to find the jar. surely i just sit it in front of me when i put my head in the guillotine? You don't have a guillotine. Jennie knows these things. At keast you don't have one chonky enough ho cut through your neck" maybe your not so all knowing after all | |||
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"If baths provide wisdom, then do raisins provide them as well?" No. They give you the squits and make dogs poorly | |||
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"will get any sleep tonight or will the back pain keep me awake? The pain killers will help a little. You will eventually drift off but it will take longer than usual. i need to get some then. i hate taking medication Well take some you twonk! i dont have any Get some. The garage down the road is still open. can i just cut my head off and put it in a jar instead? No. Because once the head is severed you won't be able to find the jar. surely i just sit it in front of me when i put my head in the guillotine? You don't have a guillotine. Jennie knows these things. At keast you don't have one chonky enough ho cut through your neck maybe your not so all knowing after all " We both know I am. | |||
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"[Removed by poster at 02/05/23 22:27:29] ^^^Twonk. Dear Jennie, Will the 30-odd kidneys in my fridge be defrosted in time? Yes. But only just. But. Do you really want to cook urine filters?" Oh, we have no intention of cooking them! | |||
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"Dear Jennie, May I ask if you know when my canvas will be adorned? (Inspired by Prey) " When the dog barks twice and the two owls hoot in the old yew tree. | |||
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"DJ, Should I get a fringe? LDH x" Hmmm. Yes but not too short and go for a rougher cut ... nothing too severe. | |||
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"Dear Jennie, May I ask if you know when my canvas will be adorned? (Inspired by Prey) When the dog barks twice and the two owls hoot in the old yew tree." There's hope then! | |||
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"[Removed by poster at 02/05/23 22:27:29] ^^^Twonk. Dear Jennie, Will the 30-odd kidneys in my fridge be defrosted in time? Yes. But only just. But. Do you really want to cook urine filters? Oh, we have no intention of cooking them! " Er ... yeah... I knew that . Cos I know everything dont I? . [Nicely done Jennifer ... no one noticed] | |||
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"[Removed by poster at 02/05/23 22:27:29] ^^^Twonk. Dear Jennie, Will the 30-odd kidneys in my fridge be defrosted in time? Yes. But only just. But. Do you really want to cook urine filters? Oh, we have no intention of cooking them! Er ... yeah... I knew that . Cos I know everything dont I? . [Nicely done Jennifer ... no one noticed]" They shall be dissected for edu-ma-cational purposes of the 'morrow | |||
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"Dear Jennie, May I ask if you know when my canvas will be adorned? (Inspired by Prey) When the dog barks twice and the two owls hoot in the old yew tree. There's hope then! " I have the dog, just trying ho round up the owls now! | |||
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"Also... When will I learn?" You wont | |||
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"[Removed by poster at 02/05/23 22:27:29] ^^^Twonk. Dear Jennie, Will the 30-odd kidneys in my fridge be defrosted in time? Yes. But only just. But. Do you really want to cook urine filters? Oh, we have no intention of cooking them! Er ... yeah... I knew that . Cos I know everything dont I? . [Nicely done Jennifer ... no one noticed] They shall be dissected for edu-ma-cational purposes of the 'morrow " Yeah yeah. I knew that too. | |||
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"[Removed by poster at 02/05/23 22:27:29] ^^^Twonk. Dear Jennie, Will the 30-odd kidneys in my fridge be defrosted in time? Yes. But only just. But. Do you really want to cook urine filters? Oh, we have no intention of cooking them! Er ... yeah... I knew that . Cos I know everything dont I? . [Nicely done Jennifer ... no one noticed] They shall be dissected for edu-ma-cational purposes of the 'morrow Yeah yeah. I knew that too. " I've just organised them into bags for each class. They smell like sheep piss | |||
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"[Removed by poster at 02/05/23 22:27:29] ^^^Twonk. Dear Jennie, Will the 30-odd kidneys in my fridge be defrosted in time? Yes. But only just. But. Do you really want to cook urine filters? Oh, we have no intention of cooking them! Er ... yeah... I knew that . Cos I know everything dont I? . [Nicely done Jennifer ... no one noticed] They shall be dissected for edu-ma-cational purposes of the 'morrow Yeah yeah. I knew that too. I've just organised them into bags for each class. They smell like sheep piss " Well. They would | |||
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"[Removed by poster at 02/05/23 22:27:29] ^^^Twonk. Dear Jennie, Will the 30-odd kidneys in my fridge be defrosted in time? Yes. But only just. But. Do you really want to cook urine filters? Oh, we have no intention of cooking them! Er ... yeah... I knew that . Cos I know everything dont I? . [Nicely done Jennifer ... no one noticed] They shall be dissected for edu-ma-cational purposes of the 'morrow Yeah yeah. I knew that too. I've just organised them into bags for each class. They smell like sheep piss Well. They would" They smell better than the ox heart I dissected (and live streamed) last year, to be fair. My camming and everyone else's is a little different | |||
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"O omniscient Jennie, most glorious Oracle. I have just been invited to visit a man in his garage this weekend. Given it's a bank holiday weekend, how long should I allow for traffic to get there? Many thanks." Allow an additional 45 minutes. And if when you get there the garage is lined with polythene sheets, leave immediately | |||
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"[Removed by poster at 02/05/23 22:27:29] ^^^Twonk. Dear Jennie, Will the 30-odd kidneys in my fridge be defrosted in time? Yes. But only just. But. Do you really want to cook urine filters? Oh, we have no intention of cooking them! Er ... yeah... I knew that . Cos I know everything dont I? . [Nicely done Jennifer ... no one noticed] They shall be dissected for edu-ma-cational purposes of the 'morrow Yeah yeah. I knew that too. I've just organised them into bags for each class. They smell like sheep piss Well. They would They smell better than the ox heart I dissected (and live streamed) last year, to be fair. My camming and everyone else's is a little different " Slicing into offal is not the most effective way of divining the future | |||
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"Allow an additional 45 minutes. And if when you get there the garage is lined with polythene sheets, leave immediately " Thank you - apparently the floor is padded for comfort so I don't anticipate polythene sheets. | |||
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"Allow an additional 45 minutes. And if when you get there the garage is lined with polythene sheets, leave immediately Thank you - apparently the floor is padded for comfort so I don't anticipate polythene sheets. " And ribbed for pleasure | |||
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"Dear Jennie, May I ask if you know when my canvas will be adorned? (Inspired by Prey) When the dog barks twice and the two owls hoot in the old yew tree. There's hope then! I have the dog, just trying ho round up the owls now!" Right, got the owls. On my way. Have your canvas ready! | |||
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"[Removed by poster at 02/05/23 22:27:29] ^^^Twonk. Dear Jennie, Will the 30-odd kidneys in my fridge be defrosted in time? Yes. But only just. But. Do you really want to cook urine filters? Oh, we have no intention of cooking them! Er ... yeah... I knew that . Cos I know everything dont I? . [Nicely done Jennifer ... no one noticed] They shall be dissected for edu-ma-cational purposes of the 'morrow Yeah yeah. I knew that too. I've just organised them into bags for each class. They smell like sheep piss Well. They would They smell better than the ox heart I dissected (and live streamed) last year, to be fair. My camming and everyone else's is a little different Slicing into offal is not the most effective way of divining the future" The ancient Greeks recommended finding where goats trip balls and hanging out there | |||
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"Also... When will I learn? You wont" | |||
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"Dearest Jen, will my next fart be "safe"?" Physically yes. But not safe for work | |||
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"Jennie the omniscient knows all and is in her bath of wisdom. Come to the oracle and ask your question. The great all seeing and all knowing will provide your answer. (She's a bit rusty on Quantum Physics though!)" Can The Oracle please tell me when Penguins and Pandas will finally mate and create the new super species that will finally displace humanity upon this Earth? Tho not sure if the name would be Panguins or Penda's as both are pretty lame tbf | |||
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"[Removed by poster at 02/05/23 22:27:29] ^^^Twonk. Dear Jennie, Will the 30-odd kidneys in my fridge be defrosted in time? Yes. But only just. But. Do you really want to cook urine filters? Oh, we have no intention of cooking them! Er ... yeah... I knew that . Cos I know everything dont I? . [Nicely done Jennifer ... no one noticed] They shall be dissected for edu-ma-cational purposes of the 'morrow Yeah yeah. I knew that too. I've just organised them into bags for each class. They smell like sheep piss Well. They would They smell better than the ox heart I dissected (and live streamed) last year, to be fair. My camming and everyone else's is a little different Slicing into offal is not the most effective way of divining the future The ancient Greeks recommended finding where goats trip balls and hanging out there" The Ancient Greeks were twonks | |||
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"[Removed by poster at 02/05/23 22:27:29] ^^^Twonk. Dear Jennie, Will the 30-odd kidneys in my fridge be defrosted in time? Yes. But only just. But. Do you really want to cook urine filters? Oh, we have no intention of cooking them! Er ... yeah... I knew that . Cos I know everything dont I? . [Nicely done Jennifer ... no one noticed] They shall be dissected for edu-ma-cational purposes of the 'morrow Yeah yeah. I knew that too. I've just organised them into bags for each class. They smell like sheep piss Well. They would They smell better than the ox heart I dissected (and live streamed) last year, to be fair. My camming and everyone else's is a little different Slicing into offal is not the most effective way of divining the future The ancient Greeks recommended finding where goats trip balls and hanging out there The Ancient Greeks were twonks " | |||
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"Jennie the omniscient knows all and is in her bath of wisdom. Come to the oracle and ask your question. The great all seeing and all knowing will provide your answer. (She's a bit rusty on Quantum Physics though!) Can The Oracle please tell me when Penguins and Pandas will finally mate and create the new super species that will finally displace humanity upon this Earth? Tho not sure if the name would be Panguins or Penda's as both are pretty lame tbf" Never. The genetics will mean that the panguin egg shells will be too weak to be viable and so the new species will be lost before it is found. Sad but true. | |||
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"[Removed by poster at 02/05/23 22:27:29] ^^^Twonk. Dear Jennie, Will the 30-odd kidneys in my fridge be defrosted in time? Yes. But only just. But. Do you really want to cook urine filters? Oh, we have no intention of cooking them! Er ... yeah... I knew that . Cos I know everything dont I? . [Nicely done Jennifer ... no one noticed] They shall be dissected for edu-ma-cational purposes of the 'morrow Yeah yeah. I knew that too. I've just organised them into bags for each class. They smell like sheep piss Well. They would They smell better than the ox heart I dissected (and live streamed) last year, to be fair. My camming and everyone else's is a little different Slicing into offal is not the most effective way of divining the future The ancient Greeks recommended finding where goats trip balls and hanging out there The Ancient Greeks were twonks " ^^^She knows | |||
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"[Removed by poster at 02/05/23 22:27:29] ^^^Twonk. Dear Jennie, Will the 30-odd kidneys in my fridge be defrosted in time? Yes. But only just. But. Do you really want to cook urine filters? Oh, we have no intention of cooking them! Er ... yeah... I knew that . Cos I know everything dont I? . [Nicely done Jennifer ... no one noticed] They shall be dissected for edu-ma-cational purposes of the 'morrow Yeah yeah. I knew that too. I've just organised them into bags for each class. They smell like sheep piss Well. They would They smell better than the ox heart I dissected (and live streamed) last year, to be fair. My camming and everyone else's is a little different Slicing into offal is not the most effective way of divining the future The ancient Greeks recommended finding where goats trip balls and hanging out there The Ancient Greeks were twonks ^^^She knows " | |||
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"Dearest Jen, will my next fart be "safe"? Physically yes. But not safe for work" Good job I don't work then | |||
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"Dearest Jen, will my next fart be "safe"? Physically yes. But not safe for work Good job I don't work then " .where ere ye be, let yer wind blow free | |||
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"Dearest Jen, will my next fart be "safe"? Physically yes. But not safe for work Good job I don't work then .where ere ye be, let yer wind blow free" It's not the wind I'm worried about | |||
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"Why do people push away the ones they love? " To avoid intimacy, a defence mechanism against getting hurt. Sometimes a feeling of low self worth x | |||
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"I'm gonna have a go at making a low FODMAP aubergine curry and eggplant parmigiana this week. Will they taste shit? " Fry off the aubergine first go give it come colour. Asafoetida is good in a curry to give an oniony taste without using onions. You'll be fine x | |||
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"Why do people push away the ones they love? To avoid intimacy, a defence mechanism against getting hurt. Sometimes a feeling of low self worth x" Dam you good | |||
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"Dearest Jen, will my next fart be "safe"? Physically yes. But not safe for work Good job I don't work then .where ere ye be, let yer wind blow free It's not the wind I'm worried about " I predict your pants will remain pebble dash free | |||
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"Why do people push away the ones they love? To avoid intimacy, a defence mechanism against getting hurt. Sometimes a feeling of low self worth x Dam you good" Jennie knows all. | |||
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"Why do people push away the ones they love? To avoid intimacy, a defence mechanism against getting hurt. Sometimes a feeling of low self worth x" You are spot on but for true oracle status... How do you make someone realise that it hurts everyone more? | |||
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"Why do people push away the ones they love? To avoid intimacy, a defence mechanism against getting hurt. Sometimes a feeling of low self worth x You are spot on but for true oracle status... How do you make someone realise that it hurts everyone more? " Patience. Kindness. Time. | |||
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"Why do people push away the ones they love? To avoid intimacy, a defence mechanism against getting hurt. Sometimes a feeling of low self worth x You are spot on but for true oracle status... How do you make someone realise that it hurts everyone more? Patience. Kindness. Time." Thank you for your wisdom. | |||
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"Why do people push away the ones they love? " Is everything okay? | |||
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"I'm gonna have a go at making a low FODMAP aubergine curry and eggplant parmigiana this week. Will they taste shit? Fry off the aubergine first go give it come colour. Asafoetida is good in a curry to give an oniony taste without using onions. You'll be fine x" I have asafoetida in my cupboard. I'm getting Garlic infused olive oil too. Thank you x | |||
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"Why do people push away the ones they love? To avoid intimacy, a defence mechanism against getting hurt. Sometimes a feeling of low self worth x You are spot on but for true oracle status... How do you make someone realise that it hurts everyone more? Patience. Kindness. Time. Thank you for your wisdom. " This has helped me in the past: . 'God (or whatever higher power works for you) grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference, living one day at a time; enjoying one moment at a time; taking this world as it is and not as I would have it; trusting that You will make all things right if I surrender to Your will; so that I may be reasonably happy in this life' Bless you. | |||
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"Will I ever enjoy my job again?" Only once Maureen from HR stabs your boss | |||
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"Dear Jennie, (loving your work btw) Can I do it?" Never in doubt | |||
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"Will I ever enjoy my job again? Only once Maureen from HR stabs your boss" Pahahahaha x thank you oh wise one | |||
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"Dear Jennie, (loving your work btw) Can I do it? Never in doubt" | |||
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"Why do people push away the ones they love? To avoid intimacy, a defence mechanism against getting hurt. Sometimes a feeling of low self worth x You are spot on but for true oracle status... How do you make someone realise that it hurts everyone more? " You can't make someone realise. You can be someone who appreciates and accepts them for who they are. Sometimes, with a little luck that can help them start doing the same for themselves. | |||
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"Dear Jennie, May I ask if you know when my canvas will be adorned? (Inspired by Prey) When the dog barks twice and the two owls hoot in the old yew tree. There's hope then! I have the dog, just trying ho round up the owls now! Right, got the owls. On my way. Have your canvas ready!" Oops! | |||
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"Why do people push away the ones they love? " | |||
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"Hello Jennie. I know you're probably out of your bath of wisdom by now, but can you tell me just what I should do with my hairy growler? " Take it for regular walks. Don't over feed it. Teach it to fetch. | |||
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"Hello Jennie. I know you're probably out of your bath of wisdom by now, but can you tell me just what I should do with my hairy growler? Take it for regular walks. Don't over feed it. Teach it to fetch." Oh, and keep its claws clipped! | |||
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"Hello Jenny the orical Did you predict I would me a return And also how long I will stay " Your triumphant return was never in doubt. You will now stay forever, it is ordained. | |||
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"Hello Jenny the orical Did you predict I would me a return And also how long I will stay Your triumphant return was never in doubt. You will now stay forever, it is ordained." Awww thank you so much Jenny hope all is well | |||
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"Hello Jenny the orical Did you predict I would me a return And also how long I will stay Your triumphant return was never in doubt. You will now stay forever, it is ordained." This is The Way. | |||
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"Dear Ms TV I recently kindly matched my friend up with a desperate, I mean sad, I mean lovely man, as I know she's in need of a bit of you-know-what. Notwithstanding my excellent promotion of her charms, she didn't seem impressed. So, my question is, should I find a better class of friend? Also, will I still be married in black and honeymoon on the Nile? Yours, Skinny B" My answer to the first is yes. But finding friends to match your stellar class will be no easy task. My answer to the second is I hope so x | |||
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"Dear Auntie Jennie, I’ve heard that eating fish is good for one’s brain. How many portions of cod and chips will I have to eat to develop the intelligence levels of the late Stephen Hawking or Albert Einstein? " None. They are both dead. | |||
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"Dear Auntie Jennie, I’ve heard that eating fish is good for one’s brain. How many portions of cod and chips will I have to eat to develop the intelligence levels of the late Stephen Hawking or Albert Einstein? None. They are both dead." So….technically, I am even more intelligent than both of these sagacious luminaries… I am suddenly feeling blooming well awesome! Thank you Jennie | |||
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"Dear Auntie Jennie, I’ve heard that eating fish is good for one’s brain. How many portions of cod and chips will I have to eat to develop the intelligence levels of the late Stephen Hawking or Albert Einstein? None. They are both dead. So….technically, I am even more intelligent than both of these sagacious luminaries… I am suddenly feeling blooming well awesome! Thank you Jennie " I can indeed confirm, you are more intelligent than the average corpse | |||
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"Dear Ms TV I recently kindly matched my friend up with a desperate, I mean sad, I mean lovely man, as I know she's in need of a bit of you-know-what. Notwithstanding my excellent promotion of her charms, she didn't seem impressed. So, my question is, should I find a better class of friend? Also, will I still be married in black and honeymoon on the Nile? Yours, Skinny B My answer to the first is yes. But finding friends to match your stellar class will be no easy task. My answer to the second is I hope so x" Dear Ms TV, Yours, Skinny B (Miss) | |||
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"In what country is it illegal to own only one guinea pig I'm thinking about buying one " It's perfectly legal in Torquay. You'll be fine x | |||
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"Dear Jennie Will I ever get to the bottom of the laundry basket? " Sadly no. Dirty washing gremlins will always drop an additional item in the basket every time you think you are done. Gremlins are evil | |||
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"Oracle If 1 plus 1 really did make 3 would that break the universe. " A threesome will never break the universe | |||
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"O glorious luminary, Why is it that the most incompetent worry least about their competence?" Because if they did they would seek to address the incompetence and thus no longer be the most incompetent | |||
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"Why do i keep coming back to fab? " To make us all suffer! | |||
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"Why do i keep coming back to fab? To make us all suffer!" well thats no fun then is it | |||
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"Oh Jennie the Omniscient how to I become more desirable in able to trap, I mean entice the men I desire " You do nothing. The men worthy of you will desire you as you are. The rest are just wankers. | |||
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"Oh Jennie the Omniscient how to I become more desirable in able to trap, I mean entice the men I desire You do nothing. The men worthy of you will desire you as you are. The rest are just wankers. " Oh Jennie the Omniscient thank you for your wisdom! Could you tell me if they have got lost of something though?? I'm quite good at directions if needed | |||
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"Oh Jennie the Omniscient how to I become more desirable in able to trap, I mean entice the men I desire You do nothing. The men worthy of you will desire you as you are. The rest are just wankers. Oh Jennie the Omniscient thank you for your wisdom! Could you tell me if they have got lost of something though?? I'm quite good at directions if needed " your the satnav voice???? | |||
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"My car has given up the ghost Kevin is going to the big scrapyard in the sky Advice on new car ! Please " 1955 Chevrolet Bel Air. All the girls love anyone who drives one of those. Clunge magnet. | |||
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"Oh Jennie the Omniscient how to I become more desirable in able to trap, I mean entice the men I desire You do nothing. The men worthy of you will desire you as you are. The rest are just wankers. Oh Jennie the Omniscient thank you for your wisdom! Could you tell me if they have got lost of something though?? I'm quite good at directions if needed " They all live south of Oxford! | |||
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"is t safe for a man of my age to have more than one wank a week?" It's healthy. Very good for your prostate! Thrap away to your heart's content | |||
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"Oh Jennie the Omniscient how to I become more desirable in able to trap, I mean entice the men I desire You do nothing. The men worthy of you will desire you as you are. The rest are just wankers. Oh Jennie the Omniscient thank you for your wisdom! Could you tell me if they have got lost of something though?? I'm quite good at directions if needed They all live south of Oxford!" Well time for me to sort some playlists and get driving then!!! | |||
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"Dear Jennie, Is it really bad to fancy lots of the sweets in the sweet shop?.. " yes your teeth will fall out and you'll need dentures | |||
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"Dear Jennie, Is it really bad to fancy lots of the sweets in the sweet shop?.. " Its the whole point of sweet shops | |||
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"Dear Jennie, Is it really bad to fancy lots of the sweets in the sweet shop?.. Its the whole point of sweet shops" Yay! Thank you | |||
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"Dear Jennie, Is it really bad to fancy lots of the sweets in the sweet shop?.. yes your teeth will fall out and you'll need dentures " I'll just stay gummy. I'll make a fortune from giving sloppy BJs.. | |||
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"Jennie dearest, Why does no one get my humour? I fear I have been pigeon holed as not a funny person, yet I think I’m hilarious Marc" You are joking, right? | |||
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"Oh Jennie the Omniscient how to I become more desirable in able to trap, I mean entice the men I desire You do nothing. The men worthy of you will desire you as you are. The rest are just wankers. Oh Jennie the Omniscient thank you for your wisdom! Could you tell me if they have got lost of something though?? I'm quite good at directions if needed They all live south of Oxford!" Hang on... *I* live south of Oxford. Southern Oxfordshire in fact. This isn't revenge for me referring you as a BJ expert to that rando, is it? | |||
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"can i skip work tomorrow and just go home?" Yes | |||
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"Jennie dearest, Why does no one get my humour? I fear I have been pigeon holed as not a funny person, yet I think I’m hilarious Marc You are joking, right?" Maybe that’s the problem Marc | |||
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"Dear Jennie, We have our first fab meet on Friday. How will it go?" You will be nervous ous and excited in equal measure. So will they. You will spend ages getting ready but still be ready way earlier than you need to. You will be obsessively checking for messages all day. There will be moments when you doubt the whole process. Then the meet will happen. After some brief slightly awkward seconds the conversation will start and there will be no stopping you. It will be a very enjoyable time x | |||
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"Oh Jennie the Omniscient how to I become more desirable in able to trap, I mean entice the men I desire You do nothing. The men worthy of you will desire you as you are. The rest are just wankers. Oh Jennie the Omniscient thank you for your wisdom! Could you tell me if they have got lost of something though?? I'm quite good at directions if needed They all live south of Oxford! Hang on... *I* live south of Oxford. Southern Oxfordshire in fact. This isn't revenge for me referring you as a BJ expert to that rando, is it? " But you spoke the truth. The oracle bears no grudges | |||
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"Jennie dearest, Why does no one get my humour? I fear I have been pigeon holed as not a funny person, yet I think I’m hilarious Marc You are joking, right? Maybe that’s the problem Marc" The oracle reveals the truth in many and varied ways | |||
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"Oh Jennie the Omniscient how to I become more desirable in able to trap, I mean entice the men I desire You do nothing. The men worthy of you will desire you as you are. The rest are just wankers. Oh Jennie the Omniscient thank you for your wisdom! Could you tell me if they have got lost of something though?? I'm quite good at directions if needed They all live south of Oxford! Hang on... *I* live south of Oxford. Southern Oxfordshire in fact. This isn't revenge for me referring you as a BJ expert to that rando, is it? But you spoke the truth. The oracle bears no grudges" Ahhh fabulous. I *knew* the Oracle would know the truth of the matter. | |||
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"I reserve the right to change my mind if Cede turns up innan Oracle-induced frenzy of lust and tries to ravish me in front of the neighbours. For one thing, once they've seen that, they'll want some too, and then I'll get no peace! " I predict . . . She won't. | |||
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"Dear Jennie, We have our first fab meet on Friday. How will it go?" I don’t have any questions for the Oracle, I’m just stopping by to wish you two the very best of luck for Friday. | |||
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"Dear Jennie, We have our first fab meet on Friday. How will it go? I don’t have any questions for the Oracle, I’m just stopping by to wish you two the very best of luck for Friday. " Aww thanks so much xxx | |||
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"I reserve the right to change my mind if Cede turns up innan Oracle-induced frenzy of lust and tries to ravish me in front of the neighbours. For one thing, once they've seen that, they'll want some too, and then I'll get no peace! I predict . . . She won't." Yeah. Fair. | |||
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"It's a great image though. " Half of it is! | |||
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"Dearest Oracle, What do I do with the splodged up kidneys now?! *Holds purple slushy at arm's length* Yours, Mrs KC " Clinical waste bin! And wash those hands before touching any vegetarians | |||
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"Dearest Oracle, What do I do with the splodged up kidneys now?! *Holds purple slushy at arm's length* Yours, Mrs KC Clinical waste bin! And wash those hands before touching any vegetarians " What about vegans? | |||
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"Dearest Oracle, What do I do with the splodged up kidneys now?! *Holds purple slushy at arm's length* Yours, Mrs KC Clinical waste bin! And wash those hands before touching any vegetarians What about vegans? " No one touches vegans. They're on Vega. | |||
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"It's a great image though. Half of it is! " No need to be uncharitable to the neighbours. | |||
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"Dearest Oracle, What do I do with the splodged up kidneys now?! *Holds purple slushy at arm's length* Yours, Mrs KC Clinical waste bin! And wash those hands before touching any vegetarians What about vegans? " Wash your hands after! | |||
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"Dearest Oracle, What do I do with the splodged up kidneys now?! *Holds purple slushy at arm's length* Yours, Mrs KC Clinical waste bin! And wash those hands before touching any vegetarians What about vegans? Wash your hands after!" | |||
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"Dear Jennie..what time can i start drinking, errr... Officially toasting the new king on Saturday?? " Now! O-Ficially | |||
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"A store has 150 apples. Adam eats 13.5 apples, Jennie eats 7.25 apples, Sam eats 90 apples. How many apples are left? Give your answer to 1 decimal point. Please show your working out." 150 - 13.5 = 136.5 136.5 - 7.25 = 129.25 129.25 - 90 = 39.25 39.25 to one dp = 39.2 Jennie likes apples Sam is a greedy bastard | |||
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"Dear Jennie, how to stop being so caring about everything and everyone? " Work out who and what is worth caring about. Work out what you can change and what you cannot. Accept the above. Above all accept you. You are great. | |||
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"Dear Jennie..what time can i start drinking, errr... Officially toasting the new king on Saturday?? Now! O-Ficially " Fuck yes! My kinda oracle!! | |||
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