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Gatekeepers
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Are you a Gatekeeper? Whether that's, people, places or things, do you find yourself doing it sometimes or regularly or is it something you actively make sure you don't do? Do you notice it happening a lot on here or would you just call it lamp post pissing? Is it the same thing if the recipient doesn't reciprocate? |
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"
Are you a Gatekeeper? Whether that's, people, places or things, do you find yourself doing it sometimes or regularly or is it something you actively make sure you don't do? Do you notice it happening a lot on here or would you just call it lamp post pissing? Is it the same thing if the recipient doesn't reciprocate?"
Nope.
We get messages every now and then asking if they can talk to Fox. In clubs when she's in the loo or at the bar I get guys asking me 'so is she into xyz' or 'am I her type?' to which my reply is always the same. Ask her, not me.
She's her own person not my possession.
As for do I see it on here regularly?
Nope.
I've seen it many a time said that women run the site and are the gatekeepers to sex though.
Which I find absolutely fucking hilarious. 
A |
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"
Are you a Gatekeeper? Whether that's, people, places or things, do you find yourself doing it sometimes or regularly or is it something you actively make sure you don't do? Do you notice it happening a lot on here or would you just call it lamp post pissing? Is it the same thing if the recipient doesn't reciprocate?"
No but I am the key master |
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"
Are you a Gatekeeper? Whether that's, people, places or things, do you find yourself doing it sometimes or regularly or is it something you actively make sure you don't do? Do you notice it happening a lot on here or would you just call it lamp post pissing? Is it the same thing if the recipient doesn't reciprocate?
No but I am the key master "
Damn now I feel foolish  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
Are you a Gatekeeper? Whether that's, people, places or things, do you find yourself doing it sometimes or regularly or is it something you actively make sure you don't do? Do you notice it happening a lot on here or would you just call it lamp post pissing? Is it the same thing if the recipient doesn't reciprocate?
No but I am the key master
Damn now I feel foolish "
There is no Dana - there is only fool. |
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"
Are you a Gatekeeper? Whether that's, people, places or things, do you find yourself doing it sometimes or regularly or is it something you actively make sure you don't do? Do you notice it happening a lot on here or would you just call it lamp post pissing? Is it the same thing if the recipient doesn't reciprocate?
No but I am the key master
Damn now I feel foolish
There is no Dana - there is only fool."
|
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"
Are you a Gatekeeper? Whether that's, people, places or things, do you find yourself doing it sometimes or regularly or is it something you actively make sure you don't do? Do you notice it happening a lot on here or would you just call it lamp post pissing? Is it the same thing if the recipient doesn't reciprocate?
No but I am the key master
Damn now I feel foolish "
Haha beat you to it! 
Great minds and all that |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
I don't actively make sure I don't do it, it's more a natural thing. Generally I'm pretty happy and open to sharing things. Why shouldn't people enjoy the things I do? It doesn't affect my enjoyment, my happiness.
But, and this is a big but, I don't like things that alter my relationships (relationships as in any sort). So I'm a bit wary about that. If it happens, when I'm told otherwise, doubts creep in. I don't think that's gatekeeping though, that's being human. It's definitely a learned behaviour after several experiences.
I don't think there's much lpp at all currently - I wouldn't call that gatekeeping though. I've changed my opinion on lpp over the past few months though. In a good way.  |
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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"I'm confused now. Which one is gatekeeping?
Zulu the gatekeeper is one of the two main minions of the powerful demonic deity known as Gozer.
Clear?! "
Um.
Google is my friend? |
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"I'm confused now. Which one is gatekeeping?
Zulu the gatekeeper is one of the two main minions of the powerful demonic deity known as Gozer.
Clear?! "
Zulu, what you mean there’s bloody thousands of gatekeepers??? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm confused now. Which one is gatekeeping?
Zulu the gatekeeper is one of the two main minions of the powerful demonic deity known as Gozer.
Clear?!
Zulu, what you mean there’s bloody thousands of gatekeepers???"
Just fire at will... |
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By *mo512Man
over a year ago
LONDON |
"
Are you a Gatekeeper? Whether that's, people, places or things, do you find yourself doing it sometimes or regularly or is it something you actively make sure you don't do? Do you notice it happening a lot on here or would you just call it lamp post pissing? Is it the same thing if the recipient doesn't reciprocate?
No but I am the key master
Damn now I feel foolish
There is no Dana - there is only fool.
"
'i want you inside me!'
'sounds like there's 3 people in there already'. |
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"Just for the record it's a totally new thing to me. But after a conversation yesterday I had I thought I'd post this to get a better understanding.
"
OP, my apologies for derailing your thread somewhat. My juvenile inner poster took over. I’ll stop now to allow for mature debate  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Just for the record it's a totally new thing to me. But after a conversation yesterday I had I thought I'd post this to get a better understanding.
OP, my apologies for derailing your thread somewhat. My juvenile inner poster took over. I’ll stop now to allow for mature debate "
No please carry on. I like juvenile inner, it keeps things lighthearted. You're all good. |
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"Just for the record it's a totally new thing to me. But after a conversation yesterday I had I thought I'd post this to get a better understanding.
OP, my apologies for derailing your thread somewhat. My juvenile inner poster took over. I’ll stop now to allow for mature debate
No please carry on. I like juvenile inner, it keeps things lighthearted. You're all good. "
I’ll just pop my apologies back in my pocket |
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I don't think gatekeeping and lamp post pissing as being the same.
I see gatekeeping in general as being told that doing something eg kink has to be done in a certain way to be considered kink.
Lamp post pissing is marking territory, marking a person or something as mine not yours. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I see gatekeeping as a bad thing and hope I dont do it. I see it as preventing someone from doing a thing because you dont think they should, or that they deserve it or fit the criteria etc. A looking down on people and I dont like it at all.  |
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"I have never liked the term gatekeeper but there is an angry one at the park that locks up in the evening. Keeps kicking me off the swings
Marc
Sorry that’s park keeper "
That’s Park Life, there is even a song about it… |
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"I have never liked the term gatekeeper but there is an angry one at the park that locks up in the evening. Keeps kicking me off the swings
Marc
Sorry that’s park keeper
That’s Park Life, there is even a song about it…"
Earworm, thanks for that |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I see gatekeeping as a bad thing and hope I dont do it. I see it as preventing someone from doing a thing because you dont think they should, or that they deserve it or fit the criteria etc. A looking down on people and I dont like it at all. "
Something we are all involved in to a degree with each new government or legislation |
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On a more serious take, the metal music scene can be really bad for Gatekeeping, younger metal heads are often told they don’t understand the music or some times told they shouldn’t be listening to it. It’s a pretty shit way to act so I’m not a fan |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
"I don't think gatekeeping and lamp post pissing as being the same.
I see gatekeeping in general as being told that doing something eg kink has to be done in a certain way to be considered kink.
Lamp post pissing is marking territory, marking a person or something as mine not yours. "
Ah the kink gatekeeping. Yes, that happens in Swingers Chat sometimes.
The idea that everyone has to do it a certain way or you're not doing it right. Of course there's safety but it's actually how you and I got talking - there was a discussion on a particular dynamic, a fair bit of gatekeeping going on yet you took the time to discuss, passionately, that dynamic. Without patronising, openly and listening to others. Didn't mind my curious questions, the fact I wasn't sure how to phrase things. It meant a lot.
And I've subsequently used some of that knowledge, in a very successful and hot way so thanks for not being a Gatekeeper. |
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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"I don't think gatekeeping and lamp post pissing as being the same.
I see gatekeeping in general as being told that doing something eg kink has to be done in a certain way to be considered kink.
Lamp post pissing is marking territory, marking a person or something as mine not yours. "
Thank you Frida. That makes sense.
I don't think I do that. Or have it done to me.
Gatekeeping I mean. LPP... sometimes you just need a wee and where better. |
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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"I see gatekeeping as a bad thing and hope I dont do it. I see it as preventing someone from doing a thing because you dont think they should, or that they deserve it or fit the criteria etc. A looking down on people and I dont like it at all. "
So this and what Frida said kind of go hand in hand I think...
Thank you Maren.
I don't do that.
So, OP... I don't think I do it. I have noticed it on occasion, but I don't think there is really a correlation between that and LPP. |
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"I'm confused now. Which one is gatekeeping?
For the gangbang posh
What gangbang? I've missed summat again."
JulieandBeef’s gangbang, to which I was unceremoniously uninvited 
Didn’t want to go anyway…. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I'm confused now. Which one is gatekeeping?
For the gangbang posh
What gangbang? I've missed summat again."
Someone that I can trust hold the door for women and deny guys entry. That’s my interpretation of a gatekeeper  |
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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"I'm confused now. Which one is gatekeeping?
For the gangbang posh
What gangbang? I've missed summat again.
JulieandBeef’s gangbang, to which I was unceremoniously uninvited
Didn’t want to go anyway…."
Oh that one. I'm going |
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"I don't think gatekeeping and lamp post pissing as being the same.
I see gatekeeping in general as being told that doing something eg kink has to be done in a certain way to be considered kink.
Lamp post pissing is marking territory, marking a person or something as mine not yours.
Ah the kink gatekeeping. Yes, that happens in Swingers Chat sometimes.
The idea that everyone has to do it a certain way or you're not doing it right. Of course there's safety but it's actually how you and I got talking - there was a discussion on a particular dynamic, a fair bit of gatekeeping going on yet you took the time to discuss, passionately, that dynamic. Without patronising, openly and listening to others. Didn't mind my curious questions, the fact I wasn't sure how to phrase things. It meant a lot.
And I've subsequently used some of that knowledge, in a very successful and hot way so thanks for not being a Gatekeeper. "
Yay Meli this makes me happy  |
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"
Are you a Gatekeeper? Whether that's, people, places or things, do you find yourself doing it sometimes or regularly or is it something you actively make sure you don't do? Do you notice it happening a lot on here or would you just call it lamp post pissing? Is it the same thing if the recipient doesn't reciprocate?"
I’ve been thinking about this, a bit. Just a bit.
I think I can be a gatekeeper sometimes. I tend to be quite ‘into’ things. Whether it’s a music scene or a professional group, or whatever. So I can sometimes be another person’s way in - I can end up introducing people to something. But I try to be responsible with that - to be open and welcoming and make it about sharing knowledge, not protecting it.
I think that’s the important thing. Be a generous gatekeeper. One who opens the gate, not one who locks it behind them.
I’m not sure I’d want to apply that same thought process to people, to individuals. I wouldn’t feel I had the right. |
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"I don't think gatekeeping and lamp post pissing as being the same.
I see gatekeeping in general as being told that doing something eg kink has to be done in a certain way to be considered kink.
Lamp post pissing is marking territory, marking a person or something as mine not yours.
Thank you Frida. That makes sense.
I don't think I do that. Or have it done to me.
Gatekeeping I mean. LPP... sometimes you just need a wee and where better."
Nope Posh, I can't say I've come across you gatekeeping anything.
And I don't actually mind seeing people LPP on occasion, I find it endearing when I spot it on the forum. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I tend to spot gatekeeping quite a lot in the kink scene... Things like ...to be a good Dom you need to be...xyz or to be a good sub ...you need to be ...xyz.
And frankly most of its opinion. And every dynamic is different and long as it's Consensual it doesn't need to fit with any others way of doing things.
On here...I haven't really seen any gatekeeping tbh ... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Whats a gatekeeper?
That’s what I thought. …
I also though .. I’m the key master. 
Lol "
I wish this place would let us post memes right now. It would be Ghostbuster crazy. |
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"Whats a gatekeeper?
That’s what I thought. …
I also though .. I’m the key master.
Lol
I wish this place would let us post memes right now. It would be Ghostbuster crazy. "
Christ, if this place posted memes it would be like Fesshole on Twitter dialled up to a thousand! |
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"
I wondered how long it would take you to pop up!
Other gates required protection
^^^^ I was busy keeping the clique in their place and this slipped through whilst I had my back turned and "
Nothing worse than things slipping in when your back is turned  |
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"
I wondered how long it would take you to pop up!
Other gates required protection
^^^^ I was busy keeping the clique in their place and this slipped through whilst I had my back turned and
Nothing worse than things slipping in when your back is turned "
That's what she said........
A
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Gatekeeping definition from Google..
'the activity of controlling, and usually limiting, general access to something'
Or someone?
What's the definition of lamp post pissing? Isn't it the same? Only with the added 'marking your territory' in the process?
But can't Gatekeeping also involve marking your territory too?
Lets say someone wants the competition out of the way, they pull moves to bring the competition down or out of the way, and therefore keep their terriority in whatever area that is are they Gatekeeping or lamp post pissing?
Is the difference between the two when it involves a person and when it doesn't?
Help me understand this.
|
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"Gatekeeping definition from Google..
'the activity of controlling, and usually limiting, general access to something'
Or someone?
What's the definition of lamp post pissing? Isn't it the same? Only with the added 'marking your territory' in the process?
But can't Gatekeeping also involve marking your territory too?
Lets say someone wants the competition out of the way, they pull moves to bring the competition down or out of the way, and therefore keep their terriority in whatever area that is are they Gatekeeping or lamp post pissing?
Is the difference between the two when it involves a person and when it doesn't?
Help me understand this.
"
Ah ha! I see It appears that the two terms are indeed indicative of the same intrinsic behaviour.
I don’t do it myself though. Laissez-faire/laid back/lazy/can’t be arsed with such malarkey is a far more accurate description of me…. |
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"Gatekeeping definition from Google..
'the activity of controlling, and usually limiting, general access to something'
Or someone?
What's the definition of lamp post pissing? Isn't it the same? Only with the added 'marking your territory' in the process?
But can't Gatekeeping also involve marking your territory too?
Lets say someone wants the competition out of the way, they pull moves to bring the competition down or out of the way, and therefore keep their terriority in whatever area that is are they Gatekeeping or lamp post pissing?
Is the difference between the two when it involves a person and when it doesn't?
Help me understand this.
"
I'd say gatekeeping involves some kind of relationship where there's an assumed element of power on one party to make decisions on behalf of the other.
In regard to lamp post pissing it's more of an attempt to 'warn off' others rather than any specific ability to control and prevent access. It's a behaviour aimed at territory marking to deter others attempting contact or displaying interest.
The former is usually done by the dominant half of a couple with or without the consent of their partner.
The latter is done with no conscious input by the person not pissing on the proverbial lamp post. Some people revel in having their post pissed on because it makes them feel desired and adored. Others see it as a major red flag and will cut ties with anyone attempting to demonstrate some form of 'ownership' over them.
That's always been my take on the two.
A |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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""
The only Gatekeeper I know personally is this one! The rest is more waffle like lamp post pissing because people get stroppy about sharing and who someone else may like if it's not them!
No one owns anyone.
All a load of twaddle |
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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"
I'd say gatekeeping involves some kind of relationship where there's an assumed element of power on one party to make decisions on behalf of the other.
In regard to lamp post pissing it's more of an attempt to 'warn off' others rather than any specific ability to control and prevent access. It's a behaviour aimed at territory marking to deter others attempting contact or displaying interest.
The former is usually done by the dominant half of a couple with or without the consent of their partner.
The latter is done with no conscious input by the person not pissing on the proverbial lamp post. Some people revel in having their post pissed on because it makes them feel desired and adored. Others see it as a major red flag and will cut ties with anyone attempting to demonstrate some form of 'ownership' over them.
That's always been my take on the two.
A"
OK. This makes sense to me... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Gatekeeping definition from Google..
'the activity of controlling, and usually limiting, general access to something'
Or someone?
What's the definition of lamp post pissing? Isn't it the same? Only with the added 'marking your territory' in the process?
But can't Gatekeeping also involve marking your territory too?
Lets say someone wants the competition out of the way, they pull moves to bring the competition down or out of the way, and therefore keep their terriority in whatever area that is are they Gatekeeping or lamp post pissing?
Is the difference between the two when it involves a person and when it doesn't?
Help me understand this.
I'd say gatekeeping involves some kind of relationship where there's an assumed element of power on one party to make decisions on behalf of the other.
In regard to lamp post pissing it's more of an attempt to 'warn off' others rather than any specific ability to control and prevent access. It's a behaviour aimed at territory marking to deter others attempting contact or displaying interest.
The former is usually done by the dominant half of a couple with or without the consent of their partner.
The latter is done with no conscious input by the person not pissing on the proverbial lamp post. Some people revel in having their post pissed on because it makes them feel desired and adored. Others see it as a major red flag and will cut ties with anyone attempting to demonstrate some form of 'ownership' over them.
That's always been my take on the two.
A"
Thank you. Really appreciate your input on this. |
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"'the activity of controlling, and usually limiting, general access to something'
Or someone?"
I don’t think of the term ‘gatekeeping’ as applying to people. To someone.
It’s usually used when talking about lifestyles or scenes.
GeneralKenobi demonstrated that well here. This is the usual meaning of ‘gatekeeping’.
"On a more serious take, the metal music scene can be really bad for Gatekeeping, younger metal heads are often told they don’t understand the music or some times told they shouldn’t be listening to it. It’s a pretty shit way to act so I’m not a fan "
PW, it feels like you’re looking at it in terms of ‘gatekeeping the access to a person’ which I’ve never come across really. It’s a stretch of the word’s usual meaning.
Maybe it works for talking about that too. I dunno. But it’s not normally used that way. |
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"'the activity of controlling, and usually limiting, general access to something'
Or someone?
I don’t think of the term ‘gatekeeping’ as applying to people. To someone.
It’s usually used when talking about lifestyles or scenes.
GeneralKenobi demonstrated that well here. This is the usual meaning of ‘gatekeeping’.
On a more serious take, the metal music scene can be really bad for Gatekeeping, younger metal heads are often told they don’t understand the music or some times told they shouldn’t be listening to it. It’s a pretty shit way to act so I’m not a fan
PW, it feels like you’re looking at it in terms of ‘gatekeeping the access to a person’ which I’ve never come across really. It’s a stretch of the word’s usual meaning.
Maybe it works for talking about that too. I dunno. But it’s not normally used that way."
Oh it's definitely used in relation to people.
Often in various highly negative way, by the likes of Tate who views women as the 'Gatekeepers of the Sexual Marketplace' - a view I've seen echoed on here many times of late.
Here's the opinion in his own voice before I'm accused (as has happened before) of distorting his words and comments.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d7fvIBVPvwc
A |
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"Often in various highly negative way, by the likes of Tate who views women as the 'Gatekeepers of the Sexual Marketplace' - a view I've seen echoed on here many times of late."
I get what you mean, but in that example isn’t he still referring to a ‘thing’ and not a person? Talking about women being the gatekeepers of an active sex life? (Not gatekeepers of one specific woman.) |
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"Often in various highly negative way, by the likes of Tate who views women as the 'Gatekeepers of the Sexual Marketplace' - a view I've seen echoed on here many times of late.
I get what you mean, but in that example isn’t he still referring to a ‘thing’ and not a person? Talking about women being the gatekeepers of an active sex life? (Not gatekeepers of one specific woman.)"
Not in my mind. He views women as being able to decide whether men get sex or not, without the men having any input or control.
Yes, sex could be viewed as a 'thing' or action, but it's still the women that is the gatekeeper to another person's ability to do something.
So very much about people.
A |
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"Yes, sex could be viewed as a 'thing' or action, but it's still the women that is the gatekeeper to another person's ability to do something."
If by that you (he, not you really) mean that a woman is the gatekeeper of her own body … then of course she is. Yeah. And so she should be.
Feels like an odd way to describe it, but I can’t disagree. |
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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago
East London |
"Often in various highly negative way, by the likes of Tate who views women as the 'Gatekeepers of the Sexual Marketplace' - a view I've seen echoed on here many times of late.
I get what you mean, but in that example isn’t he still referring to a ‘thing’ and not a person? Talking about women being the gatekeepers of an active sex life? (Not gatekeepers of one specific woman.)"
We're not really though, are we.
I can't have sex with everyone I'm attracted to, and men can find sex if they really want it.
I can only gatekeep my own sex life. |
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"Yes, sex could be viewed as a 'thing' or action, but it's still the women that is the gatekeeper to another person's ability to do something.
If by that you (he, not you really) mean that a woman is the gatekeeper of her own body … then of course she is. Yeah. And so she should be.
Feels like an odd way to describe it, but I can’t disagree."
God no.
That's not what he meant at all. The video is just a small insight into his views but he didn't say it in support of a woman's right to determine who gets near her body at all.
It's an assertion that women have a power trip over men and that no matter how much a man does it's never enough for some women due to unrealistic expectations they have developed due to men being portrayed as 'bad'.
Look into him more and you'll understand better.
A |
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"It's an assertion that women have a power trip over men and that no matter how much a man does it's never enough for some women due to unrealistic expectations they have developed due to men being portrayed as 'bad'."
In that case he’s just wrong. Those are some pretty abhorrent views. Is he king of the incels, or something? |
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"It's an assertion that women have a power trip over men and that no matter how much a man does it's never enough for some women due to unrealistic expectations they have developed due to men being portrayed as 'bad'.
In that case he’s just wrong. Those are some pretty abhorrent views. Is he king of the incels, or something?"
That title is probably a massive understatement where he's concerned....
A |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Gatekeeping definition from Google..
'the activity of controlling, and usually limiting, general access to something'
Or someone?
What's the definition of lamp post pissing? Isn't it the same? Only with the added 'marking your territory' in the process?
But can't Gatekeeping also involve marking your territory too?
Lets say someone wants the competition out of the way, they pull moves to bring the competition down or out of the way, and therefore keep their terriority in whatever area that is are they Gatekeeping or lamp post pissing?
Is the difference between the two when it involves a person and when it doesn't?
Help me understand this.
"
An example of LPP could be
Her: “I did a hat-trick on nuts so hands off ladies”
Gatekeeper example
“is that a peen? If yes your not coming in”
But I don’t know I’m just a single guy
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Wow! I didn't realise the definition of Gatekeeping could be so controversial, what have you started PW?
As for the OP, I do believe it's possible to gatekeep people. LPP, while similar can be light hearted. I wouldn't say Gatekeeping is. Its checking up on people, questioning their every move, potentially questioning the people around them. Giving the impression off to others that that person is yours. It's the "I licked it so its mine" mentality. But that's just my take on it.
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By *ensualMan
over a year ago
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I would suggest in kink/BDSM and shibari, there is a difference between gatekeeping by way of the True Scotsman logical fallacy, and pointing out there is history and context to a situation.
An example of history and context would be when a friend joined FL calling herself in her profile name "subslut" because she liked the sound of the term. She was surprised by the avalanche of sexual requests she received. I explained to her the meaning of the phrase and she immediately changed her profile name.
The "True Scotsman logical fallacy". This type of fallacy occurs when someone defends their position about a term or a group by excluding counterexamples that don’t fit their argument by saying “that person or thing isn’t a true example of X.” The classic example goes like this:
Person A: “No Scotsman puts sugar on his porridge.”
Person B: “But my uncle Angus is a Scotsman and he puts sugar on his porridge.”
Person A: “But no true Scotsman puts sugar on his porridge.”
Person A changes the definition of what it means to be a Scotsman to suit their argument rather than addressing Person B’s point.
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Lamppost pissing I would take from my experience as leaving their mark. I've definitely been with a a couple of women with claws that fit that bill. For some reason I am now relating it to Siggy after she goes badass in Ghostbusters - maybe she warped my fragile little mind.
Anyway back to the thread. I think there was an element of lamp post pissing because my partner would say she's sending me a message there you know, cheeky bitch. Lol
But for me it's just a way to push me over the edge or switch it up.
Now the Gatekeeping, topic not sure I can cover that here it's huge and situational. Everyone has different boundaries, I think in most cases calling it gatekeeping will be an oversimplification.
Personally, I have experience sharing and with poly so in that context I am fairly clear on what I am comfortable with. If I meet someone and they are unsure of their boundaries I'm not going to start calling that Gatekeeping or whatever. Just something you need to work out through open communication. There's always the feelies factor to contend with too.
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