FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > I would fuck you but…

I would fuck you but…

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By *enrietteandSam OP Couple over a year ago

Staffordshire

Original and comedic responses sought.

Why wouldn’t you fuck the poster above?

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By *ayna20Couple over a year ago

Kent

"Original and comedic responses sought.

Why wouldn’t you fuck the poster above?

Because I’m clearly off my rocker

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Original and comedic responses sought.

Why wouldn’t you fuck the poster above?

"
I don’t like socks in bed

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Original and comedic responses sought.

Why wouldn’t you fuck the poster above?

I don’t like socks in bed

I’m allergic to fruit

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I’m scared of dragons

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

My penis has got frost bite.

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By *yche_xWoman over a year ago

nearby

"Original and comedic responses sought.

Why wouldn’t you fuck the poster above?

I don’t like socks in bed

I’m allergic to fruit"

That tattoo on the thigh to to cool

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I don’t want to get tangled up in a net

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By *yche_xWoman over a year ago

nearby

"I don’t want to get tangled up in a net

I prefer oranges

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I don’t want to get tangled up in a net

I prefer oranges"

I’d prefer you fuck me

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

We would but we've just brewed a pot of tea.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I don’t want to get tangled up in a net

I prefer oranges"
your far to sexy

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By *TG3Man over a year ago

Dorchester

"I don’t want to get tangled up in a net

I prefer oranges"
she looks rather nice

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By *Jones1983Man over a year ago

Liverpool

Webbed fingers freak me out

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By *aughtyDuetCouple over a year ago

Shropshire

"Webbed fingers freak me out"

I would fuck you but I’d prefer to play with your beautiful, long hair Xx

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By *entBarryUKMan over a year ago

Ashford

"Webbed fingers freak me out

I would fuck you but I’d prefer to play with your beautiful, long hair Xx"

I would fuck you, but I don't have the right genitals.....

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By *ed MartinMan over a year ago

Shefford

[Removed by poster at 23/01/23 20:02:02]

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I would fuck you but I've promised RexHoles I'll drop him and his nana off at the local clinic

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By *enrietteandSam OP Couple over a year ago

Staffordshire

You fucked my dad.

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By *weetkitten65Woman over a year ago

Halifax

Because I'm watching Coronation Street & playing over Ken Barlow..

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By *uiet_69Man over a year ago

Near

I would fuck you but I’m not sure if 35 seconds counts as sex

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By *ehindHerEyesCouple over a year ago

SomewhereOnlyWeKnow

[Removed by poster at 23/01/23 20:03:36]

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I would fuck you but I've promised RexHoles I'll drop him and his nana off at the local clinic

I’m too mesmerised by your pictures. Just snap me out of it later

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I don’t like queues

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I don’t like queues "

Bow ties are just a no

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By *yche_xWoman over a year ago

nearby

I need to take my goldfish for a walk

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By *aughtyDuetCouple over a year ago

Shropshire

"I don’t like queues

Bow ties are just a no "

Your computer is just too slow

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I would fuck you but I'm meeting Sam's dad for anal sex

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By *enrietteandSam OP Couple over a year ago

Staffordshire

I’ve only had one bottle of red so far.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I’ve only had one bottle of red so far."

lmaooooooo

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I’m allergic to lemons butter and cream

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By *enrietteandSam OP Couple over a year ago

Staffordshire

I’ve never gotten over those candle holders you gave me for Christmas.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I’m allergic to lemons butter and cream "

There appears to be a bunch of minstrels in the way

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I’m allergic to lemons butter and cream

There appears to be a bunch of minstrels in the way"

I'm doing Ryan he found some fun

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By *ensualAsiansCouple over a year ago

London

There are only 50 shades of grey

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'm waiting for my pita to pop

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By *hattome80Man over a year ago

Newport !!!!

I would fuck you but .... There appears to be three guys hanging out of you already.. not sure there's any holes left

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I’m allergic to lemons butter and cream

There appears to be a bunch of minstrels in the way

I'm doing Ryan he found some fun "

Sorry, I’m not a furry

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I seem to have misplaced my erection

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By *ickshawedCouple over a year ago

Wolverhampton

Too busy I'm afraid. I'm on a winning streak at the online bingo

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By *ucifer And MazikeenCouple over a year ago

Derbyshire

But I forgot you address and now we are lost

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By *isge BeathaWoman over a year ago

Here, There and Everywhere

[Removed by poster at 23/01/23 20:14:26]

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By *enrietteandSam OP Couple over a year ago

Staffordshire

I’ve got spam under my helmet.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I licked a pole and now my tongue’s stuck

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By *ehindHerEyesCouple over a year ago

SomewhereOnlyWeKnow

It'll take too many years to clear the dust from my bits

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I’ve got spam under my helmet."

the dr said im not allowed

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I don't remember how!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'm shaving my toe fur

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By *ong-leggedblondWoman over a year ago

Next Door

"I'm shaving my toe fur "

Cause he's always out

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By *enrietteandSam OP Couple over a year ago

Staffordshire

You’ll need to sign a disappointment waiver.

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By *TG3Man over a year ago

Dorchester

You look amazing but my dick just fell off

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I would fuck you but I'm afraid I can't compete with that roast dinner

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I haven’t got permission from your mum yet

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By *ehindHerEyesCouple over a year ago

SomewhereOnlyWeKnow

The voices told me I couldn't

Tinder

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I would fuck you but I'm afraid I can't compete with that roast dinner "

I would fuck you but, im.allegic to lemon butter cream

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I'm shaving my toe fur

Cause he's always out "

Do you want me in?

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By *ong-leggedblondWoman over a year ago

Next Door

Wouldn't want to be accused of turning him full grey

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By *enrietteandSam OP Couple over a year ago

Staffordshire

You’ll have to take your shoes off before you get in the back of my van.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Wouldn't want to be accused of turning him full grey"
I keep friendship separate

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I worry when I wake up it will all have been a dream

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I worry when I wake up it will all have been a dream"
I’d fuck you but I’d be “ searching “ a long time

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By *istyPeaksCouple over a year ago

braintree

"I worry when I wake up it will all have been a dream I’d fuck you but I’d be “ searching “ a long time "

I’m diabetic and have to avoid too much sweet stuff

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By *ehindHerEyesCouple over a year ago

SomewhereOnlyWeKnow

I'll be too tired after climbing those peaks

Tinder

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By *adMerWoman over a year ago

Sandwich

"I worry when I wake up it will all have been a dream I’d fuck you but I’d be “ searching “ a long time

I’m diabetic and have to avoid too much sweet stuff"

They don’t “peak” my interest

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I'll be too tired after climbing those peaks

Tinder "

I worry the friction might cause a fire

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I’d fuck you but I’m bad at jokes

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By *gent CoulsonMan over a year ago

Secret hideaway in the pennines

"I'll be too tired after climbing those peaks

Tinder

I worry the friction might cause a fire"
my GPS won't work, think I am lost

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By *TG3Man over a year ago

Dorchester

"I'll be too tired after climbing those peaks

Tinder

I worry the friction might cause a fire my GPS won't work, think I am lost"
I know where you are but i can't fuck you

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By *istyPeaksCouple over a year ago

braintree

"I'll be too tired after climbing those peaks

Tinder

I worry the friction might cause a fire my GPS won't work, think I am lostI know where you are but i can't fuck you

I would, but my bedroom is so messy you wouldn’t find me

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I'll be too tired after climbing those peaks

Tinder

I worry the friction might cause a fire my GPS won't work, think I am lostI know where you are but i can't fuck you

I would, but my bedroom is so messy you wouldn’t find me "

You lips, or you pussy. You choice

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I would, but my bedroom is so messy you wouldn’t find me

You lips, or you pussy. You choice

Then the people who told me to go fuck myself will have won!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Your a dude!!!

*probably.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I would but.... That's my dad your on top off

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I would but.... That's my dad your on top off"

But I'm switched off

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By *adCherriesCouple over a year ago

Cheshire/Northwest

"I would but.... That's my dad your on top off

But I'm switched off

I have a foot phobia x k x

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By *ickshawedCouple over a year ago

Wolverhampton

I'm too busy combing all the toilet paper out of my bum hair

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By *ttentiveRabbitMan over a year ago

Lymington

"I would but.... That's my dad your on top off

But I'm switched off

I have a foot phobia x k x "

I would but I fear I'd snap you

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By *weetkitten65Woman over a year ago

Halifax

"I would fuck you but I’m not sure if 35 seconds counts as sex "

34 seconds longer than Ken Barlow did

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By *Jones1983Man over a year ago

Liverpool

"Webbed fingers freak me out

I would fuck you but I’d prefer to play with your beautiful, long hair Xx"

Please do, I’d love it!!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I would fuck you but I’m not sure if 35 seconds counts as sex

34 seconds longer than Ken Barlow did

Because the only pussy I like has 4 legs and a tail

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By *weetkitten65Woman over a year ago

Halifax

"I would fuck you but I’m not sure if 35 seconds counts as sex

34 seconds longer than Ken Barlow did

Because the only pussy I like has 4 legs and a tail

Mine have 8 & 2 tails...

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I would fuck you but I’m not sure if 35 seconds counts as sex

34 seconds longer than Ken Barlow did

Because the only pussy I like has 4 legs and a tail

Mine have 8 & 2 tails...

I wouldn't want batman after me

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I would fuck you but I’m not sure if 35 seconds counts as sex

34 seconds longer than Ken Barlow did

Because the only pussy I like has 4 legs and a tail

Mine have 8 & 2 tails...

I wouldn't want batman after me"
Too much for me he be poking my tonsils.

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By *rMonkeyMan over a year ago

Somewhere

"I would fuck you but I’m not sure if 35 seconds counts as sex

34 seconds longer than Ken Barlow did

Because the only pussy I like has 4 legs and a tail

Mine have 8 & 2 tails...

I wouldn't want batman after me Too much for me he be poking my tonsils.

Bed covers to furry

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By *hunky GentMan over a year ago

Maldon and Peterborough

One hairy arse in this bed is enough.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Don’t touch men

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By *TG3Man over a year ago

Dorchester

I would fuck you but I'm allergic to whiskey

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I would fuck you but i dont like sausage with my potatoes and veg lol

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

We would never get any sleep at all then

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By *ixedDevilMan over a year ago

Bootyville

I’d only last 10 seconds

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"We would never get any sleep at all then

lol true

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By *avexxMan over a year ago

cheshire

dont sleep so may aswell fuck,,

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 23/01/23 23:19:56]

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"We would never get any sleep at all then

lol true "

I would!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Because I’m locked in chastity

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 23/01/23 23:22:12]

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"We would never get any sleep at all then

lol true

I would!"
It would give me the opportunity to check your tattoo out.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Because I’m locked in chastity

"
Expert lock picker here!

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By *ipppyMan over a year ago

Poole

Because my wife would chop my balls off

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By *aked2sumCouple over a year ago

Coast

Because you have a wife

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By *kinandbonesCouple over a year ago

dublin

"Because my wife would chop my balls off"

Because your wife would chop your balls off

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By *oodmessMan over a year ago

yumsville

Sounds a bit peppery piggy

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By *ensualbicockMan over a year ago

liverpool wavertree picton clock

[Removed by poster at 23/01/23 23:25:29]

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By *oodmessMan over a year ago

yumsville

fuck. (was for _ipppy)

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"dont sleep so may aswell fuck,,"

Lol

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'm washing my hair

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By *aked2sumCouple over a year ago

Coast

You’ve got no hair

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By *nimaginativeUsernameMan over a year ago

Rochester, Kent

Where would I park my bike?

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By *alentedfMan over a year ago

Near Newbury

[Removed by poster at 23/01/23 23:30:22]

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By *aked2sumCouple over a year ago

Coast

"Where would I park my bike?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"You’ve got no hair

Beard hair

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By *oodmessMan over a year ago

yumsville

"Where would I park my bike?

You'd be giving a backie as the car needs a push.

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By *alentedfMan over a year ago

Near Newbury

But it could be hubby typing away

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By *aked2sumCouple over a year ago

Coast

"You’ve got no hair

Beard hair

Sorry you look perfect when I turn my phone upside down

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"But it could be hubby typing away "

But I dont like brown sauce.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"You’ve got no hair

Beard hair

Sorry you look perfect when I turn my phone upside down

Awww thanks, so kind of you

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By *aked2sumCouple over a year ago

Coast

"You’ve got no hair

Beard hair

Sorry you look perfect when I turn my phone upside down

Awww thanks, so kind of you

Go on admit it you tried turning your phone upside down didn’t you ?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"You’ve got no hair

Beard hair

Sorry you look perfect when I turn my phone upside down

Awww thanks, so kind of you

Go on admit it you tried turning your phone upside down didn’t you ?

maybe I did lol

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By *r Cheeky97Man over a year ago

Devon

[Removed by poster at 23/01/23 23:42:54]

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By *adCherriesCouple over a year ago

Cheshire/Northwest

"[Removed by poster at 23/01/23 23:42:54]"

I need a bitch not a dom

xkx

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By *relandgentMan over a year ago

city

'your so damn ugly!'

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By *ittleRed18Woman over a year ago

Aberdeen

But you shagged my mum

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Reds not my colour

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By *alentedfMan over a year ago

Near Newbury

Your legs are to soapy

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By *herryblossom_BJWoman over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire

"Your legs are to soapy"

Too much of a dad bod. Sorry

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Your legs are to soapy

Too much of a dad bod. Sorry "

Your bums better than mine

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

You probably wouldn't let me lol

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By *ucka39Man over a year ago

Newcastle

"You probably wouldn't let me lol"

I'm busy eating a packet of crisps

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"You probably wouldn't let me lol

I'm busy eating a packet of crisps "

Seeing you would make me feel bad that i dont work out lol

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By *yjellyfishMan over a year ago

bristol

I adore those pussies too

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By *ucka39Man over a year ago

Newcastle

"You probably wouldn't let me lol

I'm busy eating a packet of crisps

Seeing you would make me feel bad that i dont work out lol "

Seeing I'd have to let you have the opportunity

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"You probably wouldn't let me lol

I'm busy eating a packet of crisps

Seeing you would make me feel bad that i dont work out lol

Seeing I'd have to let you have the opportunity

Lol

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By *aptain Caveman41Man over a year ago

Home

"You probably wouldn't let me lol

I'm busy eating a packet of crisps

Seeing you would make me feel bad that i dont work out lol

Seeing I'd have to let you have the opportunity

Lol

"
she probably wouldn't let me

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"You probably wouldn't let me lol

I'm busy eating a packet of crisps

Seeing you would make me feel bad that i dont work out lol

Seeing I'd have to let you have the opportunity

Lol

she probably wouldn't let me

Who lol

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By *nabelle21Woman over a year ago

B38

Sadly we are both straight...well, im fab straight

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By *aptain Caveman41Man over a year ago

Home

"You probably wouldn't let me lol

I'm busy eating a packet of crisps

Seeing you would make me feel bad that i dont work out lol

Seeing I'd have to let you have the opportunity

Lol

she probably wouldn't let me

Who lol "
you

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Sadly we are both straight...well, im fab straight

Lol

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"You probably wouldn't let me lol

I'm busy eating a packet of crisps

Seeing you would make me feel bad that i dont work out lol

Seeing I'd have to let you have the opportunity

Lol

she probably wouldn't let me

Who lol you

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By *lephantisMan over a year ago

Oxford

"You probably wouldn't let me lol

I'm busy eating a packet of crisps

Seeing you would make me feel bad that i dont work out lol

Seeing I'd have to let you have the opportunity

Lol

she probably wouldn't let me

Who lol you

Because I prefer to be underwhelming here first.

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By *inky_couple2020Couple over a year ago

North West

"Original and comedic responses sought.

Why wouldn’t you fuck the poster above?

His verbosity is venereal

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By *ucka39Man over a year ago

Newcastle

"Original and comedic responses sought.

Why wouldn’t you fuck the poster above?

His verbosity is venereal

But a foursome sounds better

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By *IG G77Man over a year ago

GATLEY

There was a storm , a terrible flood , my suit wasnt back from the cleaners

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By *weetkitten65Woman over a year ago

Halifax

"There was a storm , a terrible flood , my suit wasnt back from the cleaners

Birthday suit?...

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple over a year ago

Leeds

I’ve got arthritis in my left ear lobe.

The mr

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By *ustincider888Man over a year ago

Preston Ish

I'm on my period

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By *ilvelicker60Man over a year ago

kettering

He’s not bi

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I’ve got to be ready to leave in 4 hrs….

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By *eliWoman over a year ago

"I’ve got to be ready to leave in 4 hrs…."

My beard needs braiding.

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By *ucka39Man over a year ago

Newcastle

"I’ve got to be ready to leave in 4 hrs….

My beard needs braiding. "

You'll have to be on top

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Now I’m reading the thread title differently…

“I would fuck your butt”….

I think I need to get ready, it’s going to be one of THOSE days

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By *agnar1980Man over a year ago

Poole

I would but then I’d have to fuck everyone else as it wouldn’t be fair & I don’t have the time sorry

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Its too early

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Its too early

"
sadly a nut allergy

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

No buts I just would lol

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By *TG3Man over a year ago

Dorchester

I would but he's desperate dan

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I like my hygiene not having anything around my food

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

The giant extra pair of lips you have on the back of your head would be both tempting and off putting.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I would but he's desperate dan

Desperate? Moi? How very dare you lol

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By *TG3Man over a year ago

Dorchester

"I like my hygiene not having anything around my food "
i had a fork!!

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By *riar BelisseWoman over a year ago

Delightful Bliss

"The giant extra pair of lips you have on the back of your head would be both tempting and off putting. "

We might get lost in the forest

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"The giant extra pair of lips you have on the back of your head would be both tempting and off putting.

We might get lost in the forest

I may need a few more wrinkles

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"The giant extra pair of lips you have on the back of your head would be both tempting and off putting.

We might get lost in the forest

I may need a few more wrinkles"

I would,but I'm afraid of Willie's

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"The giant extra pair of lips you have on the back of your head would be both tempting and off putting.

We might get lost in the forest

I may need a few more wrinkles"

He doesn't know his crustaceans

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

You seem to be not there

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By *parkle1974Woman over a year ago

Leeds

Granny is to posh to fuck

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By *TG3Man over a year ago

Dorchester

My penis has become inverted

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"My penis has become inverted

I don't do people from places with a t in the name

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"My penis has become inverted

I don't do people from places with a t in the name"

I don't like queues.

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By *TG3Man over a year ago

Dorchester

Sorry forgot my cock

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By *eedsanewusernameMan over a year ago

Mainly under the bed...

"Sorry forgot my cock

At least you forgot yours. I donated mine to science. They've never had one so small before, it's a marvel of the universe to explore with a really, really, really powerful microscope.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I would but you still don’t have a username. I couldn’t possibly be involved in such anonymous shagging.

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By *ickshawedCouple over a year ago

Wolverhampton

I'd love to. But they do say you should never meet your heroes

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"I'd love to. But they do say you should never meet your heroes "

I can't find the servants quarters

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By *uninplymouthMan over a year ago

Plymouth

"I'd love to. But they do say you should never meet your heroes

I can't find the servants quarters"

I don't know how

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By *riar BelisseWoman over a year ago

Delightful Bliss

^^ he doesn't know how

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By *aughtyboi11Man over a year ago

northampton

"^^ he doesn't know how

Her heels are smaller than mine

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