FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Why am I in fab?

Why am I in fab?

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

I see this question asked all the time. And the reasons for me have changed depending where the moon is in the sky *this as about the best humour I can muster together right now.

I log in here because I’m lonely. I’m sat in a room right now fighting back tears that are drawn from my own well of regret. I had the most beautiful girl in my hands and I lost her, and the realisation that I wil never have her walk towards me again but walk into the arms of another man is hard to take. Even all these years that have passed don’t make it easy, it is worse everyday for me.

Do I try to socialise and date? Yes, but it’s not what I want is it? And I think they can tell.

I don’t deserve to feel this way. And nobody likes a sad sack do they?

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By *inger_SnapWoman over a year ago

Hampshire/Dorset

Oh mate...

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman over a year ago

Carlisle usually

Oh. Woody.

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By *ife NinjaMan over a year ago

Dunfermline

Hang tough son. We've all been there. Single for eight years now. It gets easier, but never forget. You're a top man

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By *TG3Man over a year ago

Dorchester

"I see this question asked all the time. And the reasons for me have changed depending where the moon is in the sky *this as about the best humour I can muster together right now.

Do I try to socialise and date? Yes, but it’s not what I want is it? And I think they can tell.

I don’t deserve to feel this way. And nobody likes a sad sack do they? "
awwww woody i almost cried, you seem so confident........... (i didn't cry)

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

My heart go's out to you Woody

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Stay strong buddy. You will get your happiness back soon enough

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Big hugs, Woody.

LadyO

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By *inky_couple2020Couple over a year ago

North West

From one sad sack to another self-described sad sack - keep your pecker up. There's someone out there for everyone. Keep on keeping on

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By *ulieAndBeefCouple over a year ago

Manchester-ish

Oh Woody

sending a ghost hug - you can't feel it but you know it's there.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Does being on Fab make you feel better or worse ?

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Stay strong buddy. You will get your happiness back soon enough "

But when? Ive waited long enough. And why is she happy and I’m not?

Am I Jealous? Maybe.

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By *ose-tinted GlassesMan over a year ago

Glasgow / London

Big man hugs, Woody. Breakups can be like a bereavement sometimes. There’s grief there. And it doesn’t have a set half-life. It can last and linger. It can stay with you.

There’s no replacement out there. And there shouldn’t be. But there are other women. And some of them could be just as special to you, in different ways, for different reasons. You’ll never even see her coming, but one day … boom.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Hope you are okay mate..

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Ah that's so shite Woody. If you feel able to date, keep doing it, it could lead you to find someone wonderful. But if it is making you feel worse, maybe take a break and focus on yourself.

I hope you'll feel a bit brighter soon. X

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By *ouple in LancashireCouple over a year ago

in Lancashire

"I see this question asked all the time. And the reasons for me have changed depending where the moon is in the sky *this as about the best humour I can muster together right now.

Do I try to socialise and date? Yes, but it’s not what I want is it? And I think they can tell.

I don’t deserve to feel this way. And nobody likes a sad sack do they? "

Shit to hear fella..

And no you probably don't deserve to feel that way but that will pass and then onwards and upwards as they say..

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Big man hugs, Woody. Breakups can be like a bereavement sometimes. There’s grief there. And it doesn’t have a set half-life. It can last and linger. It can stay with you.

Exactly this ,well said

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Big man hugs, Woody. Breakups can be like a bereavement sometimes. There’s grief there. And it doesn’t have a set half-life. It can last and linger. It can stay with you.

I know. I try to convince myself all the time. This is exactly what I would tell someone else.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I see this question asked all the time. And the reasons for me have changed depending where the moon is in the sky *this as about the best humour I can muster together right now.

Do I try to socialise and date? Yes, but it’s not what I want is it? And I think they can tell.

I don’t deserve to feel this way. And nobody likes a sad sack do they? "

If its any consolation.......

You're not alone. More people than you realise have been in the same place.

Regrettably too many don't have the courage to open their mouth.

These feelings you have, they can leave you feeling empty, alone, broken.

Good news.....

In reality, you're none of those things. You have friends here (albeit online)

The Forums, Lounge in particular, is an incredibly supportive place, people who've been there and got the T shirt, people who will listen, will give their time for a coffee or a beer and who's inboxes are always open.

It's easy to say don't look back, but when you feel like there's nothing in the future, the past is all you have.

One day, unexpected, someone will walk into your life and the sun will shine on you again.

You've got this!

*bro hug.

Winston

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By *uriousscouserWoman over a year ago

Wirral

Oh Woody

Most of us have been in that dark place at some point. Sending love and hugs and sympathy.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'm so sorry you feel this way. It resonated with me as soon as I saw it. Not ashamed to say it did bring out a tear from me.

I am deeply in love with a man I can never ever have so the pain in your post is one I can truly understand even though your situation is different.

Don't fight back your tears...let them flow, don't punish or blame or even question yourself for how you feel.

Just know that I , for one, see a brave man unafraid to open his soul and say 'I am hurting'...that takes real strength.

Hold on and slowly no matter how long it takes you will start to heal. That person may always be in your heart to some extent and that's ok.

I hope this message and others you will receive will be of some comfort in some small way.

Luv and hugs xx

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By *ose-tinted GlassesMan over a year ago

Glasgow / London

"I know. I try to convince myself all the time. This is exactly what I would tell someone else. "

In the meantime, just enjoy yourself. Have a nice breakfast. Spend time with good people. Throw a ball for a dog. Do things because you like doing them. If chatting with folk here is one of those things? Great. If having some sex is one of those things too? Go for it. You do you.

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By *bi HaiveMan over a year ago
Forum Mod

Cheeseville, Somerset

One thing I've learnt about relationships is that if they're 'meant to be' they will, and if not then at some point they'll end.

Sometimes it's down to you. Sometimes it's down to them. Sometimes it's just not right for either and it's not anyone's fault. You never know and if people only entered into a relationship when they were 100% sure it would succeed - we'd all be single for life.

Sometimes you know why things end and sometimes you don't and you're left wondering with no closure. That's the worst.

It's taken me many years, countless relationships and three marriages to work out when I fucked up, when they fucked up and how best to prevent it happening again. But even now, happy as I am there are never any guarantees in life.

All you can do is enjoy the moments with eachother and when things end, try to move on. Nothing is gained by overthrowing, wondering 'what if' or thinking that things are going to ever go back to how they once were. The more time you spend alone the easier it is to slip into a negative head space and instead of looking forwards, look back.

It's never easy. Ever. No matter how short the relationship, the cause of any break up or whether they or you move onto someone else.

Memories will always be there. Just focus on the good ones rather than the bad and find ways of occupying your mind and your time to include others, whether platonic relationships, passing acquaintances or complete strangers on the Internet.

Chin up Woody.

It'll get better, trust me. ??

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By *ussle SproutMan over a year ago

the middle

Man hugs coming your way mate

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I'm so sorry you feel this way. It resonated with me as soon as I saw it. Not ashamed to say it did bring out a tear from me.

I am deeply in love with a man I can never ever have so the pain in your post is one I can truly understand even though your situation is different.

Don't fight back your tears...let them flow, don't punish or blame or even question yourself for how you feel.

Just know that I , for one, see a brave man unafraid to open his soul and say 'I am hurting'...that takes real strength.

Hold on and slowly no matter how long it takes you will start to heal. That person may always be in your heart to some extent and that's ok.

I hope this message and others you will receive will be of some comfort in some small way.

Luv and hugs xx

I didn’t know why I posted this maybe it’s to feel real, and talk real in here.

I always said I never had regrets. I do. She will never know how much a man could love her.

I’m sorry if it made you upset. It’s shit.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I …

You've got this!

*bro hug.

Winston "

I’ll take that one.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

sending you the biggest boobiest hugs Woody

pxb

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Please don't apologise...it only got to me as like I said it resonated with how I feel.

It shows incredible strength for you to open up yourself like you have and I truly hope all the messages of support and love you are getting are of some comfort.

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By *TG3Man over a year ago

Dorchester

"I'm so sorry you feel this way. It resonated with me as soon as I saw it. Not ashamed to say it did bring out a tear from me.

I am deeply in love with a man I can never ever have so the pain in your post is one I can truly understand even though your situation is different.

Don't fight back your tears...let them flow, don't punish or blame or even question yourself for how you feel.

Just know that I , for one, see a brave man unafraid to open his soul and say 'I am hurting'...that takes real strength.

Hold on and slowly no matter how long it takes you will start to heal. That person may always be in your heart to some extent and that's ok.

I hope this message and others you will receive will be of some comfort in some small way.

Luv and hugs xx

I didn’t know why I posted this maybe it’s to feel real, and talk real in here.

I always said I never had regrets. I do. She will never know how much a man could love her.

I’m sorry if it made you upset. It’s shit. "
Hey you can't have regrets in this life woody you may feel like she was the love of your life but things happen for a reason, you'll meet somebody you'll love more, not necessarily on here, you get one life and it flashes by so quickly so grab it and enjoy it

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I …

You've got this!

*bro hug.

Winston

I’ll take that one.

You're very welcome Woody. Anytime.

Winston

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By *rtyIanMan over a year ago

Gateway to the Beacons

I get you mate I been there

It’s a shitter but we learn from the past we don’t live there

My ears always here fella

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I see this question asked all the time. And the reasons for me have changed depending where the moon is in the sky *this as about the best humour I can muster together right now.

Do I try to socialise and date? Yes, but it’s not what I want is it? And I think they can tell.

I don’t deserve to feel this way. And nobody likes a sad sack do they? "

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I see this question asked all the time. And the reasons for me have changed depending where the moon is in the sky *this as about the best humour I can muster together right now.

Do I try to socialise and date? Yes, but it’s not what I want is it? And I think they can tell.

I don’t deserve to feel this way. And nobody likes a sad sack do they? "

Maybe when you find love again( you so will). You will this time be different with it. Love can be so difficult and different with different people, but once you loose it you realise how precious it is. Your next love with massively benifit from that .

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By *andyfloss2000Woman over a year ago

ashford

Xxxxx

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By *iscean_dreamMan over a year ago

Llanelli

"I see this question asked all the time. And the reasons for me have changed depending where the moon is in the sky *this as about the best humour I can muster together right now.

Do I try to socialise and date? Yes, but it’s not what I want is it? And I think they can tell.

I don’t deserve to feel this way. And nobody likes a sad sack do they? "

I know this feeling Woody, it's not something that can forgotten. Years ago I had someone really special in my life and I was on anti depressants at the time and because of them I didn't care at the time we were having a argument and she said she obviously wasn't the person I wanted and I just said no she isn't

Unfortunately that couldn't have been further from the truth but my emotions were suppressed from the pills, I stopped taking them and about 2 months after we had broken up I was a complete wreck

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By *ellinever70Woman over a year ago

Ayrshire

How many years have passed since it happened?

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Do I fight for her or give up?

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By *iscean_dreamMan over a year ago

Llanelli

"Do I fight for her or give up? "

If she's moved on then unfortunately you have to give up

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By *ornycougaWoman over a year ago

Wherever I lay my hat

Awww dude I'm so sorry you're feel like this. Nothing I can say will make you feel better at this moment but just sending hugs and offering my ear and shoulder if you need it x

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By *eroLondonMan over a year ago

Mayfair

"I don’t deserve to feel this way. And nobody likes a sad sack do they? "

•

Cometh the hour in Manchester, my flower, you and I will imbibe and while away an hour...and put the World to rights. †

†

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Do I fight for her or give up? "

Hard to say without a background knowledge of your situation, which is your private affair. But if she has made no acknowledgement to you regarding your feelings and she is happy I'd leave her be. Look to the future ( but it's difficult i know)

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Do I fight for her or give up?

If she's moved on then unfortunately you have to give up"

I already know.

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By *ose-tinted GlassesMan over a year ago

Glasgow / London

"Do I fight for her or give up? "

You said it’s been years. Based on that alone, I’d say the latter. But it’s not giving up. It’s acceptance. The loss is part of your life, as valid as any other part.

Disclaimer: This is just chat based on near-zero knowledge of your life, or hers. Not actual, useful advice.

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By *iscean_dreamMan over a year ago

Llanelli

"Do I fight for her or give up?

If she's moved on then unfortunately you have to give up

I already know. "

Think of all the awesome people you now talk to that you wouldn't be if still together

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

No advice per se, except to be kind to yourself and to send the biggest booby hugs I can muster.

Heartbreak sucks, pleased you reached out though, and my inbox is open xx

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By *riar BelisseWoman over a year ago

Delightful Bliss

What has triggered these feelings to come to the surface Woody

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By *s2pervsCouple over a year ago

Truro

"Do I fight for her or give up?

If she's moved on then unfortunately you have to give up

I already know. "

All of your feelings are valid mate...they are yours, own them.

There are some amazing people on Fab...I see, hear and listen...and probably talk too much.

I too am an occasional culprit of logging on here to seek validation, lose myself in a world that is as far removed from the one I'm in as possible...and sometimes for the wrong reasons.

You are amongst good people when you're here...you obviously have friends here that genuinely care.

Make the very most of all the positives you have mate.

Mr.

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By *lephantisMan over a year ago

Oxford

I'm so sorry, Woody. She sounds wonderful, but I only know that through you. That makes you pretty wonderful, too. And, as others have said far better, the pain and lessons from this will make a future relationship so much deeper and richer.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"What has triggered these feelings to come to the surface Woody"

Waking up. *joke

Truthfully, when I see her.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

You are amongst good people when you're here...you obviously have friends here that genuinely care.

Make the very most of all the positives you have mate.

Mr.

I know. And thanks

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"What has triggered these feelings to come to the surface Woody

Waking up. *joke

Truthfully, when I see her. "

Can you avoid seeing her?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Beautifully raw and honest post, huge respect and sending so much love. I can relate to the loneliness aspect and your post will help many more than you’ll ever know. My husband committed suicide in 2020 and I just feel we need so much more brave and open dialogue like this generally in society in public forum. Wishing you the happiest of futures full of healthy love, passion and excitement x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I see this question asked all the time. And the reasons for me have changed depending where the moon is in the sky *this as about the best humour I can muster together right now.

Do I try to socialise and date? Yes, but it’s not what I want is it? And I think they can tell.

I don’t deserve to feel this way. And nobody likes a sad sack do they? "

Reading this was like reading my own biography.

I divorced in 2016 and it was entirely my fault, I will never stop loving her. She now lives 2 miles away and is in what appears to be a very loving relationship.

As I love her so much, I'm happy that she's happy, but deep down I'm heartbroken

Chin up mate

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By *rHotNottsMan over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

Woody

I have a friend just like this, it’s makes me cry even, it’s been 10+ years and we still have regularly describe the way her nose used to scrunch when she laughed and that bit of hair , the way it used to fall out of the bobble and go over her eye and look cute.

This is the difference between men and women. Women are like - a week later, what was that guys name again ?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"One thing I've learnt about relationships is that if they're 'meant to be' they will, and if not then at some point they'll end.

Sometimes you know why things end and sometimes you don't and you're left wondering with no closure. That's the worst.

It's never easy. Ever. No matter how short the relationship, the cause of any break up or whether they or you move onto someone else.

Chin up Woody.

It'll get better, trust me. ??

Said far better than I could. Hugs. You've learnt from your experience, let it out the feels or they will drain you, & take care of yourself. Better things will happen when the timings right. Work on you being in the right headspace, ready to receive them, for when they do.

Sending you

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman over a year ago

Carlisle usually

"This is the difference between men and women. Women are like - a week later, what was that guys name again ? "

Oof.

I thought you were better than that.

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By *cottish guy 555Man over a year ago

London

Sorry to hear that you are feeling shit. Regrets are inevitable in life but it's how you deal with them. Can't say that I've dealt with them well so unfortunately no good advice here.

You are not alone in feeling alone. Even those of us in a loving relationship can feel lonely, unable to accept that someone loves you and accepts you. Feeling unworthy because of your own internal doubts and foibles.

It looks like you have a lot of good people here to aid you with your struggles. That's something that you should take solace in and hopefully help you to a better state of mind.

I wish you well

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"This is the difference between men and women. Women are like - a week later, what was that guys name again ?

Oof.

I thought you were better than that."

I caught that too

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"This is the difference between men and women. Women are like - a week later, what was that guys name again ? "

Incorrect. We all have attachment styles, and some women don’t ‘need’ men and swoon over the tiny details as much as others. And the same in reverse.

When someone gets under my skin, they stay there forever. I might be able to move on and meet new people, but they’ll always have a little corner of my heart, and a song, a smell, something will set me off thinking about them. But I have to fight so hard to move on and not let them and any other regrets take over because I don’t want my life to be wasted feeling bad about what couldn’t be.

It will get better Woody, it will. We have a frankly FABULOUS Forum Social planned x

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By *ixieAndHerKingCouple over a year ago

Debauchery

Oh Woody

you don't deserve to feel like this, nobody does but we all will at sometime in our lives. That's no consolation I know, when you're alone thoughts wander and you try to look for answers and resolutions. They will come in time. Just know you tried, you fought and you saw what could be.

You are a loving, kind, funny man who will find someone who gets you, who wants to experience life with you, share adventures and make more memories, new memories. It will get easier, I can promise you this

Big hugs you special man

Cherry x

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By *gent CoulsonMan over a year ago

Secret hideaway in the pennines

I have been there my friend, all I can say is the pain doesn't go away, but it does get less.

There will always be a hole there, someday you may find someone they may not completely fill the hole, but they will help you to mend

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Awww Woody xxxx I can feel the underlying emotion in our conversations

Its really shit when you feel like this... But to move on is hard - you have to be ready to let go and then to make a choice to be happy.

What i would say is that pining and living in hope for a fairytale ending is a spiral that will suck you into sadness, darkness and bitterness forever.

Never forget - you have the power to choose to be happy or to be unhappy.. Sending hugs x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

This is the difference between men and women. Women are like - a week later, what was that guys name again ? "

Nah i disagree with this.. I just think women are better at acting and putting on a facade.... But they feel the pain to their core

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By *pider-WomanWoman over a year ago

Exeter, Bristol, Plymouth, Truro

Hiya Woody

Unfortunately we can't change history but we're in control of our futures.

Most of us have been where you feel today. Sending hugs

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By *ouple 0073Couple over a year ago

donegal

"fighting back tears that are drawn from my on well of regret"... that is deep..hope you feel better soon.. remember the darkest hour is just before the dawn.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

This is the difference between men and women. Women are like - a week later, what was that guys name again ? "

Wow

How completely inaccurate

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"This is the difference between men and women. Women are like - a week later, what was that guys name again ?

Incorrect. We all have attachment styles, and some women don’t ‘need’ men and swoon over the tiny details as much as others. And the same in reverse.

It will get better Woody, it will. We have a frankly FABULOUS Forum Social planned x"

Yes we do.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

This is the difference between men and women. Women are like - a week later, what was that guys name again ?

Wow

How completely inaccurate

Oh I don’t know, the way people change their usernames in here and give fake names in real life, you might understand why

*joke

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I think when you say socilise that is the key, dont date, because yes it is easy to tell when someone is still needing another person, and sometimes that wont matter because who you are dating may still be harbouring feelings for others and you can writhe it out together but it does make going forwards in dating difficult. But socialise with as many people as possible not making it about dating and romance but just distraction I suppose that then just becomes a new way forward for you. You never have to not love that original person but give yourself a wider base of people to fall back on when you feel tender.

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By *inger_SnapWoman over a year ago

Hampshire/Dorset

"Stay strong buddy. You will get your happiness back soon enough

But when? Ive waited long enough. And why is she happy and I’m not?

Am I Jealous? Maybe. "

All I can say is... She wasn't the one. What's for you, won't pass you by x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"We have a frankly FABULOUS Forum Social planned x

Yes we do.

Slightly nervous about the raffle though Woody (the prizes are NOT Sexual Favours from RFD, guys

)

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By *rHotNottsMan over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

This is the difference between men and women. Women are like - a week later, what was that guys name again ?

Nah i disagree with this.. I just think women are better at acting and putting on a facade.... But they feel the pain to their core "

Maybe - but I see this a lot maybe more in young people , the guys mess it up then regret, the girls are done, once they are done they are done & move on - often get the ick but the guys take years and turn it over and over , what if etc.

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By *inger_SnapWoman over a year ago

Hampshire/Dorset

This is the difference between men and women. Women are like - a week later, what was that guys name again ? "

That's so not true.

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By *ritIndianCoupleCouple over a year ago

Midlands

So sorry to hear this. It really is the worst feeling and nothing anybody says can make it better. Your posts are among some of the ones that have made the forum our favourite part of being on fab. Sending hugs

Mrs

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By *iggingMan over a year ago

Oldham

"Big man hugs, Woody. Breakups can be like a bereavement sometimes. There’s grief there. And it doesn’t have a set half-life. It can last and linger. It can stay with you.

I know. I try to convince myself all the time. This is exactly what I would tell someone else. "

Woody hang in there, never lose hope..I wish you well for the future mate.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Stay strong buddy. You will get your happiness back soon enough

But when? Ive waited long enough. And why is she happy and I’m not?

Am I Jealous? Maybe. "

Because she has left the relationship and you haven’t. Maybe it’s time you did.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Stay strong buddy. You will get your happiness back soon enough

But when? Ive waited long enough. And why is she happy and I’m not?

Am I Jealous? Maybe.

Because she has left the relationship and you haven’t. Maybe it’s time you did. "

Tough advice and straight to the point.

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By *ighlander81Man over a year ago

Hamilton

"I see this question asked all the time. And the reasons for me have changed depending where the moon is in the sky *this as about the best humour I can muster together right now.

Do I try to socialise and date? Yes, but it’s not what I want is it? And I think they can tell.

I don’t deserve to feel this way. And nobody likes a sad sack do they? "

I feel ya buddy, I have exactly the same problem and my confidence is shot to shit because of it

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By *elix SightedMan over a year ago

Cloud 8

Hey Woodster, I read this last night with interest and empathy. I didn’t reply because everyone has said what I wanted to say.

But -

You seem like such a decent bloke with good chat and humour. I’ve been through exactly this and it was shit. Properly shit. For a long time. No point dressing it up because you know this. I still feel pangs now and, for me, it was 10 years ago.

I hate cliches but I found the passage of time helped, along with talking about it to mates - airing my feelings - and actively dating.

Not sure where you live because I’m certainly nowhere near Tranquility haha but, if you fancy a coffee/beer with a mate one day, tap me up.

I tried fighting for her and it didn’t work (my ex, not yours!). But I can’t see any reason why one final heartfelt gesture isn’t worth a try. At least you’d have a definitive response. Just be prepared for it to be a negative one.

Otherwise it’s time to tough it out.

Good luck my friend

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I …

I don’t deserve to feel this way. And nobody likes a sad sack do they?

I feel ya buddy, I have exactly the same problem and my confidence is shot to shit because of it "

But is it your ego that’s battered? Because someone asked me that. And when I explained, they got why I felt/feel so low.

It’s my soul that’s lost. My confidence is fine, and I still go about my day. But yesterday I cried in my bed for 6 hours straight. *true story. (Nobody feel sorry for me! I’m just telling the truth).

I miss her because my soul felt safe. She amused me, entertained me, thrilled me, captivated me, encouraged me, and made me feel alive. And that’s where my energy recharged when I was around her. she wasn’t ego boost. A little bit of me is gone forever, and that’s why I am fall and have days like yesterday. Which is the worst I’ve been, and people keep telling me time will heal.

I live in hope.

My heart goes out to anyone living with whatever loss of relationship they’ve had. It’s horrible.

And thanks for anyone who tried to pick me up yesterday. Some words did help.

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By *adMerWoman over a year ago

Sandwich

"Stay strong buddy. You will get your happiness back soon enough

But when? Ive waited long enough. And why is she happy and I’m not?

Am I Jealous? Maybe.

Because she has left the relationship and you haven’t. Maybe it’s time you did.

Tough advice and straight to the point.

Sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind.

I really advise working on your emotional literacy. Have a bloody good cry!!!

You can never truly love until you love yourself and in this society that’s a really hard thing to do. There’s lots of helpful stuff online about healing from inner trauma. I wish you all the best xx.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I …

I don’t deserve to feel this way. And nobody likes a sad sack do they?

I feel ya buddy, I have exactly the same problem and my confidence is shot to shit because of it

But is it your ego that’s battered? Because someone asked me that. And when I explained, they got why I felt/feel so low.

I live in hope.

My heart goes out to anyone living with whatever loss of relationship they’ve had. It’s horrible.

And thanks for anyone who tried to pick me up yesterday. Some words did help.

Do you feel better today than yesterday?

I don't think time heals, it just scabs over.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I …

I don’t deserve to feel this way. And nobody likes a sad sack do they?

I feel ya buddy, I have exactly the same problem and my confidence is shot to shit because of it

But is it your ego that’s battered? Because someone asked me that. And when I explained, they got why I felt/feel so low.

I live in hope.

My heart goes out to anyone living with whatever loss of relationship they’ve had. It’s horrible.

And thanks for anyone who tried to pick me up yesterday. Some words did help.

Do you feel better today than yesterday?

I don't think time heals, it just scabs over. "

Oh hell yes. I’ll be fine.

And replying to above you. We should all love ourselves. That goes with light saying, and I do, or at least I know I should.

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By *eedsanewusernameMan over a year ago

Mainly under the bed...

Forum threads like this are why there should be a like button for replies.

I can totally identify with the OP and how he feels, and I can also understand and appreciate all the supportive messages and advice the rest of the community has given in response.

It never goes away fully chap, but it does get easier if you look for it.

The old adage of "only having one life, live it" is bullshit. Live everyday matey, do small things to make you a better person and help you heal. Fuck knows it's taken me years to accept why the love of my life and I never worked out, years I spent blaming myself and feeling like utter shite while smiling on the outside (tears of the clown anyone?).

Just remember there are billions of people in the world, you're going to love more than just one.

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By *edsmudgeMan over a year ago

oxford

Nothing anyone one says is going to make those feelings go away , I’m aware of the futility of writing this now. But , I read your posts . And I’ve always like the cut of your gib . Soyourpain has moved me , to want to write something .

I remember when everything you see or hear brings it all back , fulling to your knees every time your heart sinks . It’s horrible . .. bruh, sorry to say it might never end .

If I had boobs I’d do you a little dance , and hope it distracted you from the ache for a second or two

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I see this question asked all the time. And the reasons for me have changed depending where the moon is in the sky *this as about the best humour I can muster together right now.

Do I try to socialise and date? Yes, but it’s not what I want is it? And I think they can tell.

I don’t deserve to feel this way. And nobody likes a sad sack do they? "

I hear you..me too, been through exactly the same recently....if you need to talk, drop me a message. Its always good to share this stuff, sometimes easier to open up and be vunerable about feelings with a total stranger, got an ear for you Op your not alone, don't struggle on alone...

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By *etcplCouple over a year ago

Gapping Fanny

Always look for the silver lining.

At least this way you never lose anything because she decided it had a better place to live!

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By *adMerWoman over a year ago

Sandwich

"I …

I don’t deserve to feel this way. And nobody likes a sad sack do they?

I feel ya buddy, I have exactly the same problem and my confidence is shot to shit because of it

But is it your ego that’s battered? Because someone asked me that. And when I explained, they got why I felt/feel so low.

I live in hope.

My heart goes out to anyone living with whatever loss of relationship they’ve had. It’s horrible.

And thanks for anyone who tried to pick me up yesterday. Some words did help.

Do you feel better today than yesterday?

I don't think time heals, it just scabs over.

Oh hell yes. I’ll be fine.

And replying to above you. We should all love ourselves. That goes with light saying, and I do, or at least I know I should.

Imagine the inner you, probably as a neglected child in some way. Then tell them that you love and support them. Why wouldn’t you love that inner child?!!

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By *a LunaWoman over a year ago

South Wales

I find threads like this sad, and if I’m brutally honest, a bit annoying in an “argghhhh I could shake you” kind of way. This isn’t aimed at you specifically Woody, so please don’t take it as such, it’s just an observation of seeing similar posts over the many years I’ve been here and to a certain extent, on dating sites.

Why do people look for someone else when they are clearly not over someone else from their past. It’s like putting a band aid over a broken bone. It might cover the wound but it doesn’t fix it.

You need to take time to heal. Broken relationships, ended relationships etc., we all need time to reflect, mourn, take time to find ourselves again and more importantly, to move on.

You will never find your future when your head (and heart) is stuck in the past.

There is more than one person for us out there, but whilst hankering after what we lost, we may well miss what is meant for our future.

And it’s also deeply unfair to engage with people - specifically on dating sites - when you know deep down you are just looking for a band aid and not a plaster cast.

It’s frustrating. There are so many wonderful people in the world. Bloody well open your eyes and stop looking to the past with lovelorn rose tinted glasses on. It’s done. It’s gone. If it could have been fixed you would have tried then and there, and if it couldn’t be fixed it’s definitely time to move on.

Life is too short. Stop wasting time and live it 100% focus on your FUTURE and make it a good one.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"…

Why do people look for someone else when they are clearly not over someone else from their past. It’s like putting a band aid over a broken bone. It might cover the wound but it doesn’t fix it.

Thanks V, and your right in everything you say.

But that above, is what I realised a while sgo and I did touch on it when I posted yesterday. (That post could have been soo much longer, kind of regretting hitting enter, but also glad I didn’t in some way now I see I’m not, and others are not alone)

Dating. I don’t want a loving/romantic relationship, I just want to get out. And that’s why I don’t chase that second date. I don’t want to give the wrong impression. I just want some nice company. And I think if we were all upfront when meeting up it would cut a lot of overthinking afterwards. Maybe.

Here’s to the future mrsWoody,,,,… *joke

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By *riar BelisseWoman over a year ago

Delightful Bliss

"I …

I don’t deserve to feel this way. And nobody likes a sad sack do they?

I feel ya buddy, I have exactly the same problem and my confidence is shot to shit because of it

But is it your ego that’s battered? Because someone asked me that. And when I explained, they got why I felt/feel so low.

I live in hope.

My heart goes out to anyone living with whatever loss of relationship they’ve had. It’s horrible.

And thanks for anyone who tried to pick me up yesterday. Some words did help.

Woody have you been to the doctors yet?

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By *a LunaWoman over a year ago

South Wales

"…

Why do people look for someone else when they are clearly not over someone else from their past. It’s like putting a band aid over a broken bone. It might cover the wound but it doesn’t fix it.

Thanks V, and your right in everything you say.

Here’s to the future mrsWoody,,,,… *joke

You’re a lovely guy Woody. I just want you to be happy.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

This is the difference between men and women. Women are like - a week later, what was that guys name again ? "

Maybe women who met you.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Woody I hope that you find the way to detach from those painful memories as they seem like a chain on your ankle holding you down from moving forward. As much as many of them are beautiful and pouring with love.. if they hold you back from enjoying the presence then its time to give them less time and space in your head and life..

What are you here for ? Look at you organising lounge social. That's a huge gift to this little commune.

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By *nabelle21Woman over a year ago

B38

I hope today is a brighter day for you.

It's never nice to see someone down on themselves.

Are you jealous, I don't know.

Why did you split...there were obviously reasons and only you know if you now look back with 'I wish' because you don't have something to fulfil you.

I hope you find peace x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I see this question asked all the time. And the reasons for me have changed depending where the moon is in the sky *this as about the best humour I can muster together right now.

Do I try to socialise and date? Yes, but it’s not what I want is it? And I think they can tell.

I don’t deserve to feel this way. And nobody likes a sad sack do they? "

I feel your pain currently..it's like being tested in the bollocks with a length of 4x2

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I …..

I feel your pain currently..it's like being tested in the bollocks with a length of 4x2"

All this brings to mind is THAT James Bond casino royale scene.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I …..

I feel your pain currently..it's like being tested in the bollocks with a length of 4x2

All this brings to mind is THAT James Bond casino royale scene.

I don't have an itch currently tho

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By *entBarryUKMan over a year ago

Ashford

Mate, I've been there and it's shit. Staying indoors and being lonely makes it worse. Please come to a social and meet some of these wonderful people.

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By *ssh keep it secretWoman over a year ago

Staffs

"I see this question asked all the time. And the reasons for me have changed depending where the moon is in the sky *this as about the best humour I can muster together right now.

Do I try to socialise and date? Yes, but it’s not what I want is it? And I think they can tell.

I don’t deserve to feel this way. And nobody likes a sad sack do they?

If its any consolation.......

You're not alone. More people than you realise have been in the same place.

Regrettably too many don't have the courage to open their mouth.

These feelings you have, they can leave you feeling empty, alone, broken.

Good news.....

In reality, you're none of those things. You have friends here (albeit online)

It's easy to say don't look back, but when you feel like there's nothing in the future, the past is all you have.

One day, unexpected, someone will walk into your life and the sun will shine on you again.

You've got this!

*bro hug.

Winston "

That was the most perfect reply.

Sending hugs woody

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By *arialoueWoman over a year ago

bradford

Been single for the biggest part of 10yrs on n off, being seeing someone for a few yrs nothing serious at the moment but I think I've seriously fucked up this time as he's not replied to any messages, I know he's a busy man etc but he's the first bloke in a long time I've finally got strong feelings for n I don't get these feelings often, I often think am I just destined to be on my own for the rest of my life

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

To write now and again ‘vive le cul sec’ on threads that have nothing to do with dried asses

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

How things can change from 2 week ago. And I do read this back and feel sad for that person who wrote this. I know…..me. Although not the first time I’d felt like this, this was the absolute lowest I had fallen. BUT, I did and do take a lot of positives away from the replies on here. Thank you to everyone.

I’m Miles away from feeling this way now.

Did it help trying to put my complicated feelings into words? I think it did. I’m just ‘emotionally challenged’ and trying to learn learn to deal with something I hadn’t before. My feelings are not a simple as they once were.

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By *cottish guy 555Man over a year ago

London

Glad that you are feeling better about things. Sometimes it can just get a bit much for us all.

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By *inister_SpinsterWoman over a year ago

Manchester(ish).

"I see this question asked all the time. And the reasons for me have changed depending where the moon is in the sky *this as about the best humour I can muster together right now.

Do I try to socialise and date? Yes, but it’s not what I want is it? And I think they can tell.

I don’t deserve to feel this way. And nobody likes a sad sack do they? "

Sending you a big hug

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By *ttentiveRabbitMan over a year ago

Lymington

Too young for bingo too old for soft play

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By *ilkey69Man over a year ago

Barnsley

Take care and we all suffer knock backs.

Talk to someone if its getting too bad mate

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman over a year ago

Carlisle usually

"How things can change from 2 week ago. And I do read this back and feel sad for that person who wrote this. I know…..me. Although not the first time I’d felt like this, this was the absolute lowest I had fallen. BUT, I did and do take a lot of positives away from the replies on here. Thank you to everyone.

I’m Miles away from feeling this way now.

I'm glad you're feeling better about things

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Mods. Can you please close this thread, If that’s okay.

keep moving forward and all that!

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