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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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okay forum, i have something to confess.
about an hour ago, i did something so despicable, im surprised Mr Policeman hasn't come knocking already.
i committed pheasant-icide.
country road (take me hoooome), traffic on the other side, and nowhere to go when said Su!cidal Pheasant decided to use my car to off itself.
im devestated 
in all my years of driving, ive only ever killed one bird, entirely by accident obviously. and as i had to then, this evening ive had to pull over and sob for what could have been an innocent Daddy Bird on his way to the shop for dinner for his family... and ive sent him to timbuctu in a puff of feathers! what about mummy pheasant?! and little pheasant babies?!
you know when everything in life is fubar'd as it is, and then you go and commit murde® too?!
someone please send me back to hell so i can start over again.
phewwww anyway, you're welcome for the long post 
please tell me things you've all done today, abhorrent, criminal, or otherwise, to cheer me up, and to read before my trial.. i don't think my ginger hair will look as pretty when im in prison   Px and |
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I ran a dog over once OP, I was devastated. The Police came to the house, breathalysed me and said how he hit a child in his first week on the job who was OK after going up and over the bonnet.
I didn't feel so bad after he said that, sorry to hear about it but try not to think about it
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It would only be an offence under the Wildlife and Countryside Act 1981 if you had intentionally or recklessly killed it, so if it was an accident personally I would have gone back, picked it up and taken it home for supper! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm almost certain pheasants actually try to be hit... I drive over the peaks quite a lot and there's just birds diving across the road with wreck less abandon |
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I'd be more worried about my car than the pheasant, one of the feathery little bastards cracked my bumper years ago 
I know what you mean though, when I'd just passed my test I ran a hedgehog over...woke my parents in the early hours clattering about in the shed to find a shovel to bury it  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I killed a baby bunny once. Not on purpose. I saw it at the side of the road, - country road again - did a little awww, slowed down, it hopped into the hedgerow, then I felt the back wheel go over something. Looked in the rear view mirror and sure enough, twitching away was said cute baby bunny. I pulled up, not knowing what to do. A car passed me. I went back and the other car must have finished it off. I was devastated! My colleague in the car with me was very sympathetic and didn't mention it to anyone. |
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"I'd be more worried about my car than the pheasant, one of the feathery little bastards cracked my bumper years ago
I know what you mean though, when I'd just passed my test I ran a hedgehog over...woke my parents in the early hours clattering about in the shed to find a shovel to bury it "
Ahhh poor ickle hedgehog (hedgehog) |
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"okay forum, i have something to confess.
about an hour ago, i did something so despicable, im surprised Mr Policeman hasn't come knocking already.
i committed pheasant-icide.
country road (take me hoooome), traffic on the other side, and nowhere to go when said Su!cidal Pheasant decided to use my car to off itself.
im devestated
in all my years of driving, ive only ever killed one bird, entirely by accident obviously. and as i had to then, this evening ive had to pull over and sob for what could have been an innocent Daddy Bird on his way to the shop for dinner for his family... and ive sent him to timbuctu in a puff of feathers! what about mummy pheasant?! and little pheasant babies?!
you know when everything in life is fubar'd as it is, and then you go and commit murde® too?!
someone please send me back to hell so i can start over again.
phewwww anyway, you're welcome for the long post
please tell me things you've all done today, abhorrent, criminal, or otherwise, to cheer me up, and to read before my trial.. i don't think my ginger hair will look as pretty when im in prison Px and "
Pheasant is lovely, one of my favourite meats. I would have picked it up, taken it home and eaten it. |
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There will be no dependent babies, or distraught wifey.
Pheasants are serially polygamous. Or put in fab terms. Slutty fuckers. The male takes no part whatsoever in caring for the young and the hens will fuck anyone, wandering from male to male mating with all and any she meets before laying her eggs.
They are also very tastey.
I hit a 150kg wild boar a couple of months ago. That was spectacularly expensive. |
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