FabSwingers.com
 

FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > What the most irritating office workplace phrase

What the most irritating office workplace phrase

Jump to: Newest in thread

 

By *usman 199 OP   Man  over a year ago

Stockport

A boss used to say Touch Base . Oh No . Morning all

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Your fired, i find that so irritating

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *adtaffladMan  over a year ago

Rhyl

Blue sky thinking.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *inister_SpinsterWoman  over a year ago

North West

"Reaching out", is irritating.

"Teamwork makes the dream work" is vomit inducing.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

As per previous email…

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *RANDMRSJAECouple  over a year ago

chester

Let’s work smarter not harder

‘Can I borrow you for 5 minutes’

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

We used to have a guy that had literally swallowed a manual on stupid business platitudes. In the end we made a load of ‘bullshit bingo’ cards and when you’d got all the phrases like ‘low hanging fruit’ and ‘end of play’ you won the sweepstake

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Kind regards (on emails).

Just piss off, you don't mean it, and I don't like you anyway (grumpy old man).

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *poolfunswingcplCouple  over a year ago

liverpool

That’s your starter for 10

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"We used to have a guy that had literally swallowed a manual on stupid business platitudes. In the end we made a load of ‘bullshit bingo’ cards and when you’d got all the phrases like ‘low hanging fruit’ and ‘end of play’ you won the sweepstake "

Just makes you want to give them a motivational hi-5….in the face!

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *usman 199 OP   Man  over a year ago

Stockport


"We used to have a guy that had literally swallowed a manual on stupid business platitudes. In the end we made a load of ‘bullshit bingo’ cards and when you’d got all the phrases like ‘low hanging fruit’ and ‘end of play’ you won the sweepstake "
is he still with you or has he moved on ? .Good morning by the way xx

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *adtaffladMan  over a year ago

Rhyl


"We used to have a guy that had literally swallowed a manual on stupid business platitudes. In the end we made a load of ‘bullshit bingo’ cards and when you’d got all the phrases like ‘low hanging fruit’ and ‘end of play’ you won the sweepstake "

I just pretend not to understand all the platitudes and ask them to explain them . They get bored quickly

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *an4funMan  over a year ago

london

Who shat in my draw again!

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Going forward.......

Oh jaysus

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *os19Man  over a year ago

Edmonton

There is no I in team.I personally found it very annoying when my former manager said it to me despite the fact she had me doing a job role that was totally different to the rest of her team

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"We used to have a guy that had literally swallowed a manual on stupid business platitudes. In the end we made a load of ‘bullshit bingo’ cards and when you’d got all the phrases like ‘low hanging fruit’ and ‘end of play’ you won the sweepstake is he still with you or has he moved on ? .Good morning by the way xx"

I moved on. He’s still there so it must work

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *otsossieMan  over a year ago

Chesterfield

Onwards and upwards.

Up yer arse.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *ornycougaWoman  over a year ago

NORWAY Wherever I lay my hat

At the moment everyone at my work is circling back

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Duly noted.. fucks me right off.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *ssex_tomMan  over a year ago

Chelmsford


"At the moment everyone at my work is circling back

"

Tom does not like that phrase. It reminds him of a pending shark attack..

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *inky Biscuit DunkerMan  over a year ago

Gloucestershire

Run an idea up the flagpole

Makes me shudder

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *ornycougaWoman  over a year ago

NORWAY Wherever I lay my hat


"At the moment everyone at my work is circling back

Tom does not like that phrase. It reminds him of a pending shark attack.. "

HornyCouga does not like that phrase. It makes her pray to the Lord that the person who said it meets their untimely end in a shark attack

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *ssex_tomMan  over a year ago

Chelmsford


"At the moment everyone at my work is circling back

Tom does not like that phrase. It reminds him of a pending shark attack..

HornyCouga does not like that phrase. It makes her pray to the Lord that the person who said it meets their untimely end in a shark attack"

Tom's thoughts exactly..

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *inister_SpinsterWoman  over a year ago

North West


"There is no I in team.I personally found it very annoying when my former manager said it to me despite the fact she had me doing a job role that was totally different to the rest of her team "

Best response to that is "there's 4 in Platitude Quoting Idiot".

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *penbicoupleCouple  over a year ago

Northampton

"You're late!"

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Kind regards (on emails).

Just piss off, you don't mean it, and I don't like you anyway (grumpy old man)."

but then how do i let you know I'm pissed at you.

Regards

Hovis.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *oan of DArcCouple  over a year ago

Glasgow

Anyone who claims "I feel humbled and privileged to serve in my new role"

Usually a cushy job working in a glass fronted office with an executive assistant, not volunteering in a homeless shelter!

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *eliusMan  over a year ago

Henlow

Singing from the same hymn sheet

This is the way we’ve always done it

Who stuffed up the copier again!

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *nterblueMan  over a year ago

manchester

"I'm super excited to announce..."

It usually precedes something rather dull.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *oan of DArcCouple  over a year ago

Glasgow


""I'm super excited to announce..."

It usually precedes something rather dull. "

...... I've had my genital warts lanced

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

"Do you have the capacity?"

Eh, no I'm not a cardboard box!

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *ornyguyMan  over a year ago

Hillsborough, NI

someone at mine started using the phrase "open kimono", as in "let's go open kimono on this".

It's the equivalent of placing your cards on the table, the idea being that everything is open to be seen; terrible imagery.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *icecouple561Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

I can't name one there are far too many that used to make my teeth itch.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *ornycougaWoman  over a year ago

NORWAY Wherever I lay my hat


"Kind regards (on emails).

Just piss off, you don't mean it, and I don't like you anyway (grumpy old man).but then how do i let you know I'm pissed at you.

Regards

Hovis.

"

I throw stress balls at people

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *agerMorganMan  over a year ago

Canvey Island

I’ve got into a habit now that if a potential boss says any of those words in an interview, I cut the interview short.

The best part of working from home though is that I don’t hear my current boss saying any of these things, simply because I decline most meetings

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *licia_2021TV/TS  over a year ago

Ashby De La Zouch

"lets circle back" and anything with Super Infront of it

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *ily WhiteWoman  over a year ago

?

Think outside of the box...just fuck right off or I'm going to put you in the fucking box, and then throw the it into the nearest canal so I never have to hear you say that again!

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

'Its cocks on the blocks time, Ladies and Gents'.

And in the last few years, ive noticed things being labelled as 'hubs'.

What happened to offices or units??

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *2000ManMan  over a year ago

Worthing

So we are all happy bunnies? Are we comparing apples to oranges? How long will it take?

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *appy nakedMan  over a year ago

Merseyside

Blue sky thinking and doing more for less are two that the managers used a lot in my old job, also thinking outside the box when the answer is obviously inside the box but they just don’t want to pay.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *ittlebirdWoman  over a year ago

The Big Smoke

Let’s grab all the low hanging fruit

It boiled my piss

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *akeanyoneMan  over a year ago

LH

"Can you do this, can you do that"

I don't come here to work you know

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *ose-tinted GlassesMan  over a year ago

Glasgow / London

“Are you busy?”

Get lost. You know I’m always fucking busy.

“Have you got five minutes?”

No. See above.

“Can I grab you for a minute?”

I’m pretty sure I’d have to get HR involved if you did that.

“Are we fully across that?”

*red mist descends …*

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *ikeC81Man  over a year ago

harrow

Christ lol I use all these phrases lol

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

When working as an advisor taking calls and at the end when you politely ask “is there anything further I can help with” and the customer replies laughing this weeks lottery number……. Honestly offering further help not a crystal ball….

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *elvet RopeMan  over a year ago

by the big field


"At the moment everyone at my work is circling back

Tom does not like that phrase. It reminds him of a pending shark attack.. "

And Tom isn’t a fan of sharks- not even the vacuum cleaner variety

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *oeofsussexMan  over a year ago

Eastbourne

Boss is just swinging by to see how the department’s running!

We’re not running anywhere and the boss is definitely not a swinger! Not a successful one anyway!

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *ust RachelTV/TS  over a year ago

Horsham


"Let’s work smarter not harder

‘Can I borrow you for 5 minutes’ "

I used to use that a lot when I worked on the ramp at Gatwick, usually at someone who is in the cramped hold of an aircraft trying to stack heavy bags on top of each other.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Is that all you have done

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *cott73Man  over a year ago

brighton

I have to work with many American who literally speak in riddles. I come off calls thinking, "What have we agreed?!"

Their ability to use 10 words when 3 will usually do, is remarkable.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *oncupiscentTonyMan  over a year ago

Kent

"Moving forward"

"We shall endeavour"

"Mindful of the lead time"

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *rofessor ElementalMan  over a year ago

Durham

I don’t have the bandwidth

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Wake up!

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

No more stealing feom the stationary cupboard

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *teveanddebsCouple  over a year ago

Norwich


"There is no I in team."

My answer to that is "But there is an M and an E"

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *hromosexualsCouple  over a year ago

Near Abercynon

I like it when people get them wrong; someone in my office said "we need to be thinking about the box". He wasn't the sharpest sandwich at the picnic though (I also dig mixed metaphors)

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Sector........ Fuck right off!!

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *oan of DArcCouple  over a year ago

Glasgow


"I like it when people get them wrong; someone in my office said "we need to be thinking about the box". He wasn't the sharpest sandwich at the picnic though (I also dig mixed metaphors)"

................................

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"There is no I in team.

My answer to that is "But there is an M and an E""

My answer: No there isn’t but there’s a U in C#NT!

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *os19Man  over a year ago

Edmonton


"There is no I in team.

My answer to that is "But there is an M and an E""

. Thank you from now on I will say but there is a M and a E and that spells ME

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *lueFireCouple  over a year ago

just somewhere around here


"Kind regards (on emails).

Just piss off, you don't mean it, and I don't like you anyway (grumpy old man).but then how do i let you know I'm pissed at you.

Regards

Hovis.

I throw stress balls at people "

I used to throw hammers...and Henry Hoovers or jigsaws, what ever was to hand really ( how I never got fired I'll never know!!)

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *ickeyblueeyes7Man  over a year ago

newport

Just glad I’ve never worked in on office couldn’t stand all that bullshit

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *obajxMan  over a year ago

Cheshire

Two that haven't been posted

1/ Belts and braces

2/ I'll have that conversation

3/Anyone who uses either of these terms is a twat

Number three is my own unique work phrase

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I hate ones where there is a much simpler phrase, but the speaker thinks it adds importance.

“What’s the granularity on that?” (How much detail is there? - I think )

“What’s the delta?” (What change has there been?)

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *idlandiaMan  over a year ago

Birmingham

"Effective tomorrow, " followed by the next idiotic idea the operations manager has pulled out of his arse...

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *den-Valley-coupleCouple  over a year ago

Cumbria

Stop chatting and get back to work!

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *ubytuesdaysTV/TS  over a year ago

birmingham

No sex in the storeroom.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *annabarberaCouple  over a year ago

Staffs

The phrase "who's going to take ownership" pisses me right off

Mr C

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *cott73Man  over a year ago

brighton


"The phrase "who's going to take ownership" pisses me right off

Mr C "

This. It's just a boss reneging on his / her responsibilities.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I don’t know why but when someone says “ drop me a message / email” it makes my blood boil

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Some great phrases in here. I’ll add

“Deep dive” ok I’ll get my scuba gear

“Forensic in the detail” I’ll bring my white paper body suit

“Double down” or “re-double our efforts” will we double or re-double my pay?

“Let’s re-contract on that” we’ve not contracted in the first place

“Let’s take it offline” please do and by all means stay there

“We need to find the marginal gains”

All of those make me think I’d rather nail my testacles to the table than remain in the meeting

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

  

By *odgerMooreMan  over a year ago

Fulwood

We are where we are - taking the helicopter view of things we can see the car park

Of good ideas getting full here!!! Good chat team. Enough?? Or should I crush some more wills to live??

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

» Add a new message to this topic

0.0624

0