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What the most irritating office workplace phrase
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We used to have a guy that had literally swallowed a manual on stupid business platitudes. In the end we made a load of ‘bullshit bingo’ cards and when you’d got all the phrases like ‘low hanging fruit’ and ‘end of play’ you won the sweepstake  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We used to have a guy that had literally swallowed a manual on stupid business platitudes. In the end we made a load of ‘bullshit bingo’ cards and when you’d got all the phrases like ‘low hanging fruit’ and ‘end of play’ you won the sweepstake "
Just makes you want to give them a motivational hi-5….in the face! |
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"We used to have a guy that had literally swallowed a manual on stupid business platitudes. In the end we made a load of ‘bullshit bingo’ cards and when you’d got all the phrases like ‘low hanging fruit’ and ‘end of play’ you won the sweepstake "
is he still with you or has he moved on ? .Good morning by the way xx |
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"We used to have a guy that had literally swallowed a manual on stupid business platitudes. In the end we made a load of ‘bullshit bingo’ cards and when you’d got all the phrases like ‘low hanging fruit’ and ‘end of play’ you won the sweepstake "
I just pretend not to understand all the platitudes and ask them to explain them . They get bored quickly |
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By *os19Man
over a year ago
Edmonton |
There is no I in team.I personally found it very annoying when my former manager said it to me despite the fact she had me doing a job role that was totally different to the rest of her team |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We used to have a guy that had literally swallowed a manual on stupid business platitudes. In the end we made a load of ‘bullshit bingo’ cards and when you’d got all the phrases like ‘low hanging fruit’ and ‘end of play’ you won the sweepstake is he still with you or has he moved on ? .Good morning by the way xx"
I moved on. He’s still there so it must work |
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By *ornycougaWoman
over a year ago
MOROCCO Wherever I lay my hat |
"At the moment everyone at my work is circling back
Tom does not like that phrase. It reminds him of a pending shark attack..  "
HornyCouga does not like that phrase. It makes her pray to the Lord that the person who said it meets their untimely end in a shark attack |
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"At the moment everyone at my work is circling back
Tom does not like that phrase. It reminds him of a pending shark attack..
HornyCouga does not like that phrase. It makes her pray to the Lord that the person who said it meets their untimely end in a shark attack"
Tom's thoughts exactly.. |
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"There is no I in team.I personally found it very annoying when my former manager said it to me despite the fact she had me doing a job role that was totally different to the rest of her team "
Best response to that is "there's 4 in Platitude Quoting Idiot". |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Kind regards (on emails).
Just piss off, you don't mean it, and I don't like you anyway (grumpy old man)."
but then how do i let you know I'm pissed at you.
Regards
Hovis.
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By *ornyguyMan
over a year ago
Hillsborough, NI |
someone at mine started using the phrase "open kimono", as in "let's go open kimono on this".
It's the equivalent of placing your cards on the table, the idea being that everything is open to be seen; terrible imagery. |
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By *ornycougaWoman
over a year ago
MOROCCO Wherever I lay my hat |
"Kind regards (on emails).
Just piss off, you don't mean it, and I don't like you anyway (grumpy old man).but then how do i let you know I'm pissed at you.
Regards
Hovis.
"
I throw stress balls at people  |
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I’ve got into a habit now that if a potential boss says any of those words in an interview, I cut the interview short.
The best part of working from home though is that I don’t hear my current boss saying any of these things, simply because I decline most meetings |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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'Its cocks on the blocks time, Ladies and Gents'.
And in the last few years, ive noticed things being labelled as 'hubs'.
What happened to offices or units??
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Blue sky thinking and doing more for less are two that the managers used a lot in my old job, also thinking outside the box when the answer is obviously inside the box but they just don’t want to pay.
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“Are you busy?”
Get lost. You know I’m always fucking busy.
“Have you got five minutes?”
No. See above.
“Can I grab you for a minute?”
I’m pretty sure I’d have to get HR involved if you did that.
“Are we fully across that?”
*red mist descends …* |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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When working as an advisor taking calls and at the end when you politely ask “is there anything further I can help with” and the customer replies laughing this weeks lottery number……. Honestly offering further help not a crystal ball…. |
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"Let’s work smarter not harder 
‘Can I borrow you for 5 minutes’  "
I used to use that a lot when I worked on the ramp at Gatwick, usually at someone who is in the cramped hold of an aircraft trying to stack heavy bags on top of each other. |
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"I like it when people get them wrong; someone in my office said "we need to be thinking about the box". He wasn't the sharpest sandwich at the picnic though (I also dig mixed metaphors)"
................................
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By *lueFireCouple
over a year ago
just somewhere around here |
"Kind regards (on emails).
Just piss off, you don't mean it, and I don't like you anyway (grumpy old man).but then how do i let you know I'm pissed at you.
Regards
Hovis.
I throw stress balls at people "
I used to throw hammers...and Henry Hoovers or jigsaws, what ever was to hand really ( how I never got fired I'll never know!!) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I hate ones where there is a much simpler phrase, but the speaker thinks it adds importance.
“What’s the granularity on that?” (How much detail is there? - I think )
“What’s the delta?” (What change has there been?)
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Some great phrases in here. I’ll add
“Deep dive” ok I’ll get my scuba gear
“Forensic in the detail” I’ll bring my white paper body suit
“Double down” or “re-double our efforts” will we double or re-double my pay?
“Let’s re-contract on that” we’ve not contracted in the first place
“Let’s take it offline” please do and by all means stay there
“We need to find the marginal gains”
All of those make me think I’d rather nail my testacles to the table than remain in the meeting |
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It boiled my piss 
