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Things you weren't expecting
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A piece of blue plastic in a jar of caramelised onion chutney
It was an Asda ‘extra special’ variety!!!
I actually bothered taking it back and they exchanged it for a tray of chicken fillets. It was a piece of a bucket they use in the factory  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I must be very unfortunate because I’ve found all sorts in my food
A wasp in a slice of bread
Swallowed what I think was a wasp inside a tin of juice
A piece of a glove inside a ready made sandwich
Once when I was very d*unk I picked up what I thought was a glass of water to drink it but I got a mouthful of body cream instead |
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"You first.  "
I was eating a salad in a restaurant in Spain.. And a cock roach ran out from under a lettuce leaf and across the table. By the time Miguel the waiter arrived it had long since scarpered....and that was long before celebrity Island factor had made it popular to eat insects. |
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"I must be very unfortunate because I’ve found all sorts in my food
A wasp in a slice of bread
Swallowed what I think was a wasp inside a tin of juice
A piece of a glove inside a ready made sandwich
Once when I was very d*unk I picked up what I thought was a glass of water to drink it but I got a mouthful of body cream instead "
Ohh I've done the old... Here's a bowl of Crisps at a party in the dark and found out it was pot pourri after trying to eat a handful... And the old pick up a bottle of beer and take a long swig only to realise people have used it as an ashtray and get a mouthful of cigarette butts |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I must be very unfortunate because I’ve found all sorts in my food
A wasp in a slice of bread
Swallowed what I think was a wasp inside a tin of juice
A piece of a glove inside a ready made sandwich
Once when I was very d*unk I picked up what I thought was a glass of water to drink it but I got a mouthful of body cream instead
Ohh I've done the old... Here's a bowl of Crisps at a party in the dark and found out it was pot pourri after trying to eat a handful... And the old pick up a bottle of beer and take a long swig only to realise people have used it as an ashtray and get a mouthful of cigarette butts"
In my defence it was the middle of the night and I was half asleep as well as still d*unk.  to the ashtray one  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My friend made me a gross coffee and I drank it to be polite then found a teabag at the bottom of it. She'd got mixed up making the drinks . Tea/coffee cocktails don't work. |
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By *ate_BMan
over a year ago
London |
"Open a bag of walnuts and after a few noticed movement in the bag. Turned out to be a few larvae floating around 
Noooooooooooo nasty nasty nasty. "
Would’ve been appropriate if I’d been on ‘I’m a Celebrity…’ and not London Underground with no bloody water |
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My last offering of a more adult nature...and this one's for all the men in the house, raise your hands in the air because im sure this is a common mistake. I was at a party in Ealing Common... I got lucky (yes she must have left her guide dog outside) Alcohol had been taken and we two tipsy but rather horny lovers perambulated to the middle of the common in the dark, so to become better acquainted, and quench our undying love. after fumbling with the jeans belt and buttons and zip I made my way down town to her pussy. Now I can tell you how long ago it was because she had pubes... I think. Anyway... I digress. After feasting for a while on St labia of venus, my tongue found a string... I was d*unk and it took me a while to work out what it was..but yes it was the string and the painters were already in the house.... When I lifted my head up and asked why she hadn't stopped me, she said.. Oh sorry I forgot. Our passion never to be consumed. I returned to the party for more pot pourri and a bottle of ashtray beer. |
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