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If you had to
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By *ornycougaWoman
over a year ago
NORWAY Wherever I lay my hat |
"Some tinsel
Terrifying. Imagine being throttled and looking jolly at the same time."
I'll just sing Christmas tunes (using that term loosely) ... They will soon see the error of their ways and do one |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Some tinsel
Terrifying. Imagine being throttled and looking jolly at the same time.
I'll just sing Christmas tunes (using that term loosely) ... They will soon see the error of their ways and do one"
I'll do you one |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My guitar. Yeah fuck you trying to survive that whacked around you with my brute strength!
Will he gently weep? "
Probs not gently with a completely fucked nose |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My guitar. Yeah fuck you trying to survive that whacked around you with my brute strength!"
STOP!!What do you think you're doing? That's no way to treat an expensive musical instrument! |
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"If you had to defend yourself from an attacker in your house using only the object to your left what are you using?
Mine is a 10kg Himalayan salt lamp  "
A half built Lego Technic recovery truck or my PS5 controller. Not sure how well that’s going to work… |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A laptop....ooooo...and I've just spotted the Mrs large sewing scissors next to it, so, come at me bruh! 
I'm not the intruder  "
Oh god if you were you'd be pretty comatose by now |
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By *rtyIan OP Man
over a year ago
Gateway to the Beacons |
"A laptop....ooooo...and I've just spotted the Mrs large sewing scissors next to it, so, come at me bruh!
I'm not the intruder
Oh god if you were you'd be pretty comatose by now "
good job I'm not then mate |
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By *issMBWoman
over a year ago
North |
"Right now, a goose.
I'm totally safe.
Do you have a house goose?!"
Well, he was standing at the back door glaring at me while I mustered up the motivation to shoo him back to his barn, while my useless "farm" (read: lazy) dog laid in his basket and watched.
My life is a circus and I'm in control of none of it. |
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"To my right are my dogs and my 80 year old mum. I think we would be fine
To be fair I chased down a thief today in my work uniform and a Santa hat so even being little it won’t be a problem  "
That reminds me was at the hospital with Maya the other day she was in Costa getting a coffee to take out .this guy came in stole a sandwich and the woman behind the till chase after him shouting stop him .
She got the Sandwich back .he said sorry. She said your not sorry
its 4 time this week .
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"To my right are my dogs and my 80 year old mum. I think we would be fine
To be fair I chased down a thief today in my work uniform and a Santa hat so even being little it won’t be a problem
That reminds me was at the hospital with Maya the other day she was in Costa getting a coffee to take out .this guy came in stole a sandwich and the woman behind the till chase after him shouting stop him .
She got the Sandwich back .he said sorry. She said your not sorry
its 4 time this week .
"
It’s just stupid. He was on candid camera and we all know who he is. He’s spending the night in a cell |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A teaspoon. Would need to go for the eyeballs. "
“Why a spoon cousin? Why not an axe?”
- because it’s dull you twit! It’ll hurt more!!
* one for the film nerds.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A teaspoon. Would need to go for the eyeballs.
“Why a spoon cousin? Why not an axe?”
- because it’s dull you twit! It’ll hurt more!!
* one for the film nerds. "
I could hear the growl in his voice as I read that  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A teaspoon. Would need to go for the eyeballs.
“Why a spoon cousin? Why not an axe?”
- because it’s dull you twit! It’ll hurt more!!
* one for the film nerds.
 "
I’ve met him. True story.  |
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"A teaspoon. Would need to go for the eyeballs.
“Why a spoon cousin? Why not an axe?”
- because it’s dull you twit! It’ll hurt more!!
* one for the film nerds. "
Please don't cut my heart out with a spoon 
Best. Film. Ever! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A teaspoon. Would need to go for the eyeballs.
“Why a spoon cousin? Why not an axe?”
- because it’s dull you twit! It’ll hurt more!!
* one for the film nerds.
I could hear the growl in his voice as I read that "
I typed it that way too. |
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