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How do you make new friends as an adult…
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By *aytie0 OP Woman
over a year ago
Seaham |
Bit of a odd one but my New Years’ revolution is to make an effort to make new friends. I’m at the age where a lot of my friends have married, settled down, got kids and moved away so my friendship circle has gotten smaller especially during Covid so it would be nice to meet new people to go travelling with, do social activities with.
I obviously know this is a swinging site so probably not the best place to look but have any of you got any practical tips on how you’ve made friends as an adult? I think it’s hard these days. Whenever I’ve tried reaching out to people online men just don’t seem interested unless some kind of sex is involved and women understandably are a bit weary. |
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Hey well I’m in the same boat looking for new friends to have new experience with and not just in a seedy way
Love to meet new people and make nee connnections I know how you feel I lived away 10 years in the army so everyone has gone there own ways now. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I joined a drama group and as well as the weekly drama sessions there are varied social activities too. "
Most of my long term friends are from that background.  |
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"Bit of a odd one but my New Years’ revolution is to make an effort to make new friends. I’m at the age where a lot of my friends have married, settled down, got kids and moved away so my friendship circle has gotten smaller especially during Covid so it would be nice to meet new people to go travelling with, do social activities with.
I obviously know this is a swinging site so probably not the best place to look but have any of you got any practical tips on how you’ve made friends as an adult? I think it’s hard these days. Whenever I’ve tried reaching out to people online men just don’t seem interested unless some kind of sex is involved and women understandably are a bit weary. "
Suggest you try and take up some hobbies, whatever you fancy. Sign up, enjoy the process of learning whatever it is. The shared activity will help you find new people.
I've done this a couple of times as I've moved quite a lot.
Also be patient, it can take months.
Suggestion 2, volunteer in your community.
Good luck OP. |
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Go and do the things you enjoy and see who's around.
I went to a comedy night alone and saw another woman out alone.
We got chatting and met a coffee a couple of times.
Bumble also have a BFF section, but I've never used it.
Meetups.com can also be a good place as well. |
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By *ORBCouple
over a year ago
Dundalk |
I don't have any friends from schooldays because the friendship and effort was always one sided.
I have a few former work colleagues I keep in touch with now and again.
In regard to making new friends, some of my best friends are people I've only known 4 or 5 years. Some of those I've met through walking groups and the rest through fab, both male and female.
It's important to have something in common and that can be through a hobby or a social app such as Meetup where you can choose a particular interest or activity where everyone has a similar interest.
RB
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I actively avoid making friends at this point in my life.
I have a couple of close friends, a few people I see now and again.
That's enough for me.
Though if I did, then yeah I'd join some clubs near by. |
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Just to echo - volunteering is an excellent shout. I've also been lucky in that I've made a few friends through work. There are activity groups on facebook too, one of my friends runs a walking group that has a page.
Best of luck OP |
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I am safe OP as moving 100 miles to a new area fully from January. So have to look at trying to make a new friend or two as can’t expect to see my friends all time as we live distance .
I joined a big gym which is nice and have chatted to a few people casually working out
Hoping to find a local gaming group as well of nerds |
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By *rispyDuckMan
over a year ago
Chinese Takeaway near you |
Hmm I dont know to be honest it just happens  Some friendship started from just passing a compliment, some I thought I didn't like the person till I spoke to them found we had alot in common  but most of my adult friends we meet through our hobbies for me (weight lifting, boxing & fish keeping)  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Bit of a odd one but my New Years’ revolution is to make an effort to make new friends. I’m at the age where a lot of my friends have married, settled down, got kids and moved away so my friendship circle has gotten smaller especially during Covid so it would be nice to meet new people to go travelling with, do social activities with.
I obviously know this is a swinging site so probably not the best place to look but have any of you got any practical tips on how you’ve made friends as an adult? I think it’s hard these days. Whenever I’ve tried reaching out to people online men just don’t seem interested unless some kind of sex is involved and women understandably are a bit weary. "
I joined a ladies choir, didn't really find a friend but I did find a bunch of Nanna types who look after me 
What about doing a college course in the evening? Have a look see what is happening local in your area to get out and about
If I was closer I'd happily meet you for cake and coffee
Good luck, hope you find what you are looking for |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Totally get this.
I moved 300 miles north a couple of years ago. Not knowing anyone I joined the "Nextdoor" website. It is as it says on the tin. Your neighbours. So I got chatting with a few and now I have made 3 friends from it. As someone who has social anxiety this is quite an achievement for me! |
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"Totally get this.
I moved 300 miles north a couple of years ago. Not knowing anyone I joined the "Nextdoor" website. It is as it says on the tin. Your neighbours. So I got chatting with a few and now I have made 3 friends from it. As someone who has social anxiety this is quite an achievement for me! "
Well done to you that’s really good going  |
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"Good question. A lot of my good long term friends are now 100+ miles away or out of the country.
I made friends through hobbies and interests, especially the gym. "
I find the gym quite easy to casually talk to people. Not yet got to stage of grabbing coffee with a person at new gym though |
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"Good question. A lot of my good long term friends are now 100+ miles away or out of the country.
I made friends through hobbies and interests, especially the gym.
I find the gym quite easy to casually talk to people. Not yet got to stage of grabbing coffee with a person at new gym though "
see at the gym I'd always feel like a creep chatting to women. I feel like they want to be left in peace to do their thing and go |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We have the same problem. Lots of moving with the military where it is easy to make friends. We have now moved into civilian life. The kids have moved out, and we struggle. We have joined groups and choirs but it’s still proving difficult. |
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Seriously join a club, it doesn't matter what it is,just join, list of clubs etc.
Work in charity shop
Chess club
Political party
Help Samaritans, aged
Salvation army
Learn to row, I did that and won two gold medals at world champs this year
Join a bike club
Archery
Football
Badminton
Yoga
Volunteer at National Trust
All the above and more are ful of friendly helpful people.
I hope you have a great year ahead making Friends and sometimes enemies, but hey who cares |
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Just wait until you get older and your friends are either dead or suffering from more and more serious illnesses which limits social activities. I'm in perfect health. Yet so many I know dropping like flies. Enjoy life while you can. Join a gym, a walking group, learn Spanish, change jobs, move home, make things happen in yr life. |
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Similar answer to the others try walking/ rambling groups lots of single people do that fresh air and exercise there are waking holiday so weather should be better, or maybe try some of the clubs mentioned on this site, ( you don’t have to play) , keep looking. |
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By *ucka39Man
over a year ago
Newcastle |
I totally understand that at times some guys or even women but more so guys are not able to be just mutual friends without wanting something else. I my always seem to in past make female friends via dating sites the conversation lays itself out and it is nice not to be judged as most men. It's always been bonus points when she's from Scotland given me another excuse to travel up since we've been friends close to 8 years same goes for the rest around UK |
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It's easy to meet people it's becoming friends that's the difficult part. Joining various groups is a good way to mix, some will be very cliquey if that's the case avoid them. Make an effort to chat to everyone in the groups you join, circulate and don't be afraid to suggest meeting away from the group after a few weeks. Go to the same places regularly at the same time, you get to know people that way. Invite your neighbours for a drink or a coffee pre Christmas or at new year. If you have the time or inclination take an evening job, bar work for instance is a great way of getting to know people.
It's not easy but it is achievable. Good luck |
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"Good question. A lot of my good long term friends are now 100+ miles away or out of the country.
I made friends through hobbies and interests, especially the gym.
I find the gym quite easy to casually talk to people. Not yet got to stage of grabbing coffee with a person at new gym though see at the gym I'd always feel like a creep chatting to women. I feel like they want to be left in peace to do their thing and go "
As an avid gym goer, I agree with you. If you must chat do it off the gym floor. When I'm working out I don't want to be disturbed. Thanks for thinking about this. |
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"Night out does the trick if you are a sociable person and your intentions are to enjoy yourself in the company of others I understand it can't be easy for women but make sure they understand "
How does a woman make a guy on a night out understand that she just wants a friend?
I know that most men are respectful but it's the ones who aren't that we need to be wary if |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Join groups.
Say yes.
I've started playing more football... But the game changer was saying yes to the drinks and other events around it.
And now I want more than just football fwends I'm looking at other groups. May be gym classes, possibly an art class, possibly volunteering.
Oh, and fab socials (late plug for MCR and UTB!) |
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"Bit of a odd one but my New Years’ revolution is to make an effort to make new friends. I’m at the age where a lot of my friends have married, settled down, got kids and moved away so my friendship circle has gotten smaller especially during Covid so it would be nice to meet new people to go travelling with, do social activities with.
I obviously know this is a swinging site so probably not the best place to look but have any of you got any practical tips on how you’ve made friends as an adult? I think it’s hard these days. Whenever I’ve tried reaching out to people online men just don’t seem interested unless some kind of sex is involved and women understandably are a bit weary. "
We're always open to making new friends! Shared hobbies or interests obviously make it easier to meet somewhere neutral to see if we all get on. Gig maybe, or even at a Fab social? (pub atmosphere where it's OK to talk about inappropriate things!) |
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"Join groups.
Say yes.
"
I don't have much to add to what everyone's said about groups and hobbies (at least you're also doing something you enjoy, and friends a bonus), but there's a lot in Hovis's "say yes".
Sometimes making friends is natural and you click straight away, but I think it can also sometimes mean putting yourself out of your comfort zone a little as you get to know people. Go for that group drink or be the one that suggests the drink! Hope that doesn't sound patronising, but it's advice I give myself if I can't be bothered to do something!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Keep checking out the Meet Request and Parties section of the forum for fab social events ...
Many events all around the country and I've made loads of new friends..
Just my outlook on it "
I forget to mention other great socials are also available. Don't unfriendzone me  |
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"Likewise.
My friends tend to be from work but dont meet them after work. Dont really make friends.
Him"
I am the same. I don’t have any friends and have never really had any. I have a lot of acquaintances and colleagues and people are genuinely surprised that I don’t really have any friends given how sociable I am. I like people but I really prefer to be on my own. It is my own choice. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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One more, on refelction.
Be vulnerable. I think that's why I (and many men) have mates but not close friends. It's all surface, no feelings. (To misquote a great manics song).
There is only so far you can. Ind over whether Maguire will do well against decent forwards |
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By *ucka39Man
over a year ago
Newcastle |
"Night out does the trick if you are a sociable person and your intentions are to enjoy yourself in the company of others I understand it can't be easy for women but make sure they understand
How does a woman make a guy on a night out understand that she just wants a friend?
I know that most men are respectful but it's the ones who aren't that we need to be wary if"
From experience when I've been let down still deciding to go out clubbing as I am a sociable guy I think the conversation says it all enjoying the atmosphere and mutual time for enjoyment if a person needs to make it clear then should then their is a mutual understanding I never go clubbing to go on the pull I go to enjoy myself and those whom I come in contact with to spread the enjoyment I have been surprised by some women but I blame the alcohol a kiss is just that can also be that they are aware that you weren't hitting on them and appreciate it. As I've mentioned not every guy can be like this but can be a struggle to find them and it's great when they do or gym would be another option can be a great place to connect with good people even further women for women |
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By *ucka39Man
over a year ago
Newcastle |
Also any place is a good place even on here I've made some great friends since joining even after they left these being women we have a mutual understanding and respect each other. Which I'm sure happens with few guys whom use the forums frequently the gut instinct |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’m in the same boat as you OP, I’m like the littlest hobo and moved around a lot and friends have been few and far between.
My parents are gone and I’ve no kids, so it gets really lonely at times!
As it says on my profile: “All are welcome” and you are more than welcome to inbox me and have a chinwag!
Yoga and walking my dog has enabled me to meet new friends so far. |
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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
I find it very easy. I make friends through the gym , through work, here I have made some. Its so easy to keep in touch with people you meet, just add them from Facebook or insta then send them a message.
I think you just have to make it happen , it doesn’t happen by itself. You’re allowed to be a bit pushy , if its unwanted they will just say so or you will get the message some way. Don’t sit around waiting for others to befriend you ,if you find someone you like , offer to make them lunch or something. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We took up a dangerous sport recently and we’ve found everyone to be very supportive and amazingly friendly with each other.
We’ve made some real pals.
Maybe it’s something about the shared experience and the adrenalin.
Or there’s also knitting circles. |
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By *EAT..85Woman
over a year ago
Nottingham |
I volunteer in various capacities, go on short courses,talk to random people.
Making good friends isn't the easiest thing to do as I think we get set in our ways as we get older. Most people have established friend groups. But you've got to put yourself out there to start the ball rolling. Good luck op |
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By *TG3Man
over a year ago
Dorchester |
I just talk to people, smile a lot, young or old they take to me easy best place is on the train I think because you have a fair while to chat I've been invited to stag dos and hen nights lol even gone back to people's rooms   |
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By *eah BabyCouple
over a year ago
Cheshire, Windermere ,Cumbria |
As others have said join a club, get a hobby that involves a number of people, if you have a fitness centre close to you perhaps try the classes as there will be a variety of people, I noticed just being in a jacuzzi or steam/sauna after swimming people are super chatty lately |
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Courses are great, also met people at a reading group, via women's networking events and via other friends (went away for a weekend with a group of people where only two of them were friends of mine, came home with a heap of new mates!).
I think a lot of it is about being open to chat with people and generally being happy to put yourself out there.
One of my closest friends I met in the ladies loos on a night out - had some pissed-up laughs and swapped numbers, but then was astonished to get a text off her the following day.
I also make a real effort to stay in contact with ex-colleagues and spend time socialising with them and their social groups. It takes effort to start the ball rolling again post-pandemic but I'm finding it's starting to pick up momentum again now. |
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"Totally get this.
I moved 300 miles north a couple of years ago. Not knowing anyone I joined the "Nextdoor" website. It is as it says on the tin. Your neighbours. So I got chatting with a few and now I have made 3 friends from it. As someone who has social anxiety this is quite an achievement for me! "
Snap! I also moved 300 miles up North. Well 256 to be precise 
Whereabouts are you?
I’ll have to give that app a look!
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I’m in the same boat op.
I (Dee) know hardly anyone where I now live.
We’ve both made some good friends on the scene.
But real life I’ve signed up for burlesque to start new year, looking for a rock choir and joined a kinky girls social group.
2023 is my year of being brave! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Im the same really, I dont have anyone to call up if I fancied doing something. I have sisters who I can go out with after months of planning 
I have joined a few facebook social groups but are more of a watcher, it all moves to fast for me on there. I also do a couple of volunteering things that brings me in touch with a few more people. Im still not really sure who and where I want to dive into and if I do at all really. Nightmare. |
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"Bit of a odd one but my New Years’ revolution is to make an effort to make new friends. I’m at the age where a lot of my friends have married, settled down, got kids and moved away so my friendship circle has gotten smaller especially during Covid so it would be nice to meet new people to go travelling with, do social activities with.
I obviously know this is a swinging site so probably not the best place to look but have any of you got any practical tips on how you’ve made friends as an adult? I think it’s hard these days. Whenever I’ve tried reaching out to people online men just don’t seem interested unless some kind of sex is involved and women understandably are a bit weary. "
I'll be following this thread, im in a similar situation...except im a guy, and women rarely seem interested, be it friendship or more |
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"Bit of a odd one but my New Years’ revolution is to make an effort to make new friends. I’m at the age where a lot of my friends have married, settled down, got kids and moved away so my friendship circle has gotten smaller especially during Covid so it would be nice to meet new people to go travelling with, do social activities with.
I obviously know this is a swinging site so probably not the best place to look but have any of you got any practical tips on how you’ve made friends as an adult? I think it’s hard these days. Whenever I’ve tried reaching out to people online men just don’t seem interested unless some kind of sex is involved and women understandably are a bit weary. "
I chat with work colleagues and have made several good friends that way.
You could consider joining some sort of a social club. A book club, or a sports club? Even going to the gym at the same time on the same days every week gives opportunities to get chatting with folk who you bump into regularly.
Cal |
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"Bit of a odd one but my New Years’ revolution is to make an effort to make new friends. I’m at the age where a lot of my friends have married, settled down, got kids and moved away so my friendship circle has gotten smaller especially during Covid so it would be nice to meet new people to go travelling with, do social activities with.
I obviously know this is a swinging site so probably not the best place to look but have any of you got any practical tips on how you’ve made friends as an adult? I think it’s hard these days. Whenever I’ve tried reaching out to people online men just don’t seem interested unless some kind of sex is involved and women understandably are a bit weary. "
Find a local group that you might be interested in such as amateur dramatics or join a gym maybe also evening courses ! |
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Sometimes you can find friends here, I used to chat, have coffee, etc a woman. Nothing was on the cards between us, as far a fun as concerned.
I gave up trying years ago, as I would put in all the effort, or buying thier friendship, as in i viting them over for a meal, a small get together.
Now I make friends, but it seems to happen naturally, over a common interest, sailing, photography, etc. |
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Interesting thread. I'm 62 and have a couple of close make friends but really struggle to meet new people and when I do I find it difficult to make the jump from acquaintance to good friend. Everyone seems to like me but maybe my shyness and reserved nature doesn't help project the right image. The suggestions on here have been very helpful. |
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By *KentMan
over a year ago
Cardiff |
Do you play any sports? That’s usually a great place to start.
I know that whenever I’ve moved somewhere, the first thing I do is join the local rugby club. Made loads of great friends that way. |
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"Good question. A lot of my good long term friends are now 100+ miles away or out of the country.
I made friends through hobbies and interests, especially the gym.
I find the gym quite easy to casually talk to people. Not yet got to stage of grabbing coffee with a person at new gym though see at the gym I'd always feel like a creep chatting to women. I feel like they want to be left in peace to do their thing and go
As an avid gym goer, I agree with you. If you must chat do it off the gym floor. When I'm working out I don't want to be disturbed. Thanks for thinking about this. "
I go to the gym three times a week, and have done for about four years. I don't think I have ever spoken to anyone (or them to me) beyond "have you finished with these weights?"
I'd say a gym was a terrible place to make friends. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I used to travel to work on the bus and got talking to some of the other ladies. Made really good friends with a couple of them.
If you have an interest or hobby; other than swinging, that can be done with/around others, you could see if there's interest from others by posting in local social media groups. Things like literature, photography, arts and crafts. Or a group where you take turns to bring a course of a meal to share.
Hope you find something that works for you. |
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Really good question. I think fab forum is a good place to ask. I’ve got lots of friends from years ago that I hardly see, partly my own fault for working too much, that’s another story. But I did want to share that I think it is tough as time passes to know how to make new friends. Joining a club that meets regularly, art class, drama class are defo good ways to meet new people who live near you x |
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I’ve been in this position before. Nothing really new from me; local clubs/groups etc are a good start, and I found volunteering to be a good way too. It helps to put yourself outside of your comfort zone, if you can, and just be patient. Good luck! |
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By *JB1954Man
over a year ago
Reading |
This to me is current. At my age difficult . People say hobbies. Mine is sea fishing . Know and speak with others who do , plus are doing live streams on you tube. Problem for me. I live sixty miles from where I go sea fishing.
Not easy to do as dependant on tides and weather.
Last Wednesday I went to coast at last minute, as weather tide was looking good. Yet I was only one fishing that evening there . Caught a lot of fish
So saw no one .  |
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By *eah BabyCouple
over a year ago
Cheshire, Windermere ,Cumbria |
"Good question. A lot of my good long term friends are now 100+ miles away or out of the country.
I made friends through hobbies and interests, especially the gym.
I find the gym quite easy to casually talk to people. Not yet got to stage of grabbing coffee with a person at new gym though see at the gym I'd always feel like a creep chatting to women. I feel like they want to be left in peace to do their thing and go
As an avid gym goer, I agree with you. If you must chat do it off the gym floor. When I'm working out I don't want to be disturbed. Thanks for thinking about this.
I go to the gym three times a week, and have done for about four years. I don't think I have ever spoken to anyone (or them to me) beyond "have you finished with these weights?"
I'd say a gym was a terrible place to make friends. "
Really? Everyone’s chatty where we are, my brother owned a gym for 20 years and everyone would stand in the reception area chatting before and after their workouts. Maybe it’s an area thing we must be a friendly bunch |
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I just chat to people. When I moved this way I joined a scout group as a leader (I had been a leader in several places before), there was the start of friendships. Joined craft groups. Recently moved to a village and I’m very known very quickly, went to parish council meetings, joined in village events including village tidy groups, speed watch. One party in the village, I became the village d*unk, danced with everyone and they all became my best friends that night!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I joined online social media groups and attend events with them"
This one. There's a BH activity junkies Facebook group in our local area that does all sorts of stuff. It is mainly sports oriented but they also do alot of social stuff. It's how bad bitch and I met actually.
Some groups can be a bit cliquey but you get that everywhere. The most important step is recognising that you need a change which you've already done - the next one despite feeling harder really isn't.. good luck |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've been in the situation recently as I have moved to a completely different city.
It was particularly hard at the beginning as we were still in some lockdown restrictions. Mainly I have been attending local socials through here and even though they are not people I would consider on the whole close friends it's nice to expand my social circle. |
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By *ave05Man
over a year ago
Chelmsford Essex |
I’m starting to feel things have stagnated somewhat too with new friendships and would love some social interaction to break up the week lunch or coffee or pub quiz team or whatever as long as it is a meeting of minds and laughter - I will need to kick start myself 2023 so I like the honesty of OP and wish you luck too. |
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By *avessMan
over a year ago
London |
I've found true swingers have actually helped expand my friendship group significantly.
Not the fuckboys/ girls that just want a shag and move on but true, swingers that go to parties, dungeons etc. Really nice open people.
Also, a new hobby, bouldering, swimming, tennis, book clubs all great ways to meet new people! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have no friends if I'm honest. I have acquaintances but no-one that I'm close too apart from my family. I'm usually working or dealing with general life. |
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"Good question. A lot of my good long term friends are now 100+ miles away or out of the country.
I made friends through hobbies and interests, especially the gym.
I find the gym quite easy to casually talk to people. Not yet got to stage of grabbing coffee with a person at new gym though see at the gym I'd always feel like a creep chatting to women. I feel like they want to be left in peace to do their thing and go "
chat to men instead you are only trying to make social pals |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Good question. A lot of my good long term friends are now 100+ miles away or out of the country.
I made friends through hobbies and interests, especially the gym.
I find the gym quite easy to casually talk to people. Not yet got to stage of grabbing coffee with a person at new gym though see at the gym I'd always feel like a creep chatting to women. I feel like they want to be left in peace to do their thing and go
chat to men instead you are only trying to make social pals "
I assume anyone talking to me at the gym wants my body roll
(Jk, I don't notice ppl coming in to me, even if the did a strip dance for me. I'd assume it's a trap  ) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I actually find forums great, especially ones like this. My main friendship group is women I met on a forum when I was like 15. We are all still in touch on a regular basis for chat, calls and support. The only downside is that it's difficult to meet on a regular basis because we are scattered around everywhere.
But if you want friends in real life then local hobby groups, sport events, the gym, coffee mornings, volunteering for something you're passionate about is a good starting point. If you're a mum, maybe local mum groups.
I find it really difficult to make friends. I feel like it takes ages. I struggle a lot with anxiety which holds me back, that's why I find online easier I think. You get a better idea of people over time and it's easier to come out of your shell and to know if people 'get' you. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Try and take up a hobby that interests you and hopefully it'll be easy making friends along the way.
I've done this when playing cricket and table tennis where I didn't know anyone when joining the clubs but made friends once I started going consistently.
I can empathise OP as it can be tough making that jump but trust me, it will be worth it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I can't believe I forgot this, but I raised a subject on here before about feeling like I had nothing to do and felt really low and suffering serious FOMO and someone recommended an app called Meetup.
I don't use it anymore but used it a couple of times to get out for something to do. It's an app that shows you local events taking place and it might be a great opportunity for you to go out and meet people |
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