FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > How do we get into your knickers or pants, Fabsters?
How do we get into your knickers or pants, Fabsters?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I can’t be arsed to put in the long hours or try and be original or unique in your inbox ..
So come on. Give us a few shortcuts.
What’s the best way to ensure we get YOUR attention?
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Start with
“Hi”
“You sound fun”
Mention something from my profile that I hate and have said I hate.
Add 3 cock pics & a really old blurry face picture.
Then when I say no thank you very politely, please message back telling me what an ungrateful fat cow I am.
I’ll be yours forever more 
Alternatively food & gin works |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't wear any so can't get much faster. I've not worn trousers for about 8 months. Always in shorts. But if you give a good back scratch then I'm very appreciative   |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Food, basically.
Turns out women are more into coq au vin than cock in van.
As much as my wit, sartorial elegance, charm and rippling dad bod attracts, it seems to be the frittata, pancakes, banana bread, risotto, stir fry, red Thai pineapple curry, fajitas, lasagne, falafel and roast dinner that have really saved me.
I'm wondering if I could get something like that onto the hot pics, maybe hot dinner pics, make this place go full Instagram. |
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"Food, basically.
Turns out women are more into coq au vin than cock in van.
As much as my wit, sartorial elegance, charm and rippling dad bod attracts, it seems to be the frittata, pancakes, banana bread, risotto, stir fry, red Thai pineapple curry, fajitas, lasagne, falafel and roast dinner that have really saved me.
I'm wondering if I could get something like that onto the hot pics, maybe hot dinner pics, make this place go full Instagram."
Get your coat love |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Food, basically.
Turns out women are more into coq au vin than cock in van.
As much as my wit, sartorial elegance, charm and rippling dad bod attracts, it seems to be the frittata, pancakes, banana bread, risotto, stir fry, red Thai pineapple curry, fajitas, lasagne, falafel and roast dinner that have really saved me.
I'm wondering if I could get something like that onto the hot pics, maybe hot dinner pics, make this place go full Instagram."
I do like a nice kebab |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Food, basically.
Turns out women are more into coq au vin than cock in van.
As much as my wit, sartorial elegance, charm and rippling dad bod attracts, it seems to be the frittata, pancakes, banana bread, risotto, stir fry, red Thai pineapple curry, fajitas, lasagne, falafel and roast dinner that have really saved me.
I'm wondering if I could get something like that onto the hot pics, maybe hot dinner pics, make this place go full Instagram.
Get your coat love "
Don't you mean, the definitely made for men and not a womans pinny...
Because I'll be damned if I'm getting these stains out of my shirt.
It's bad enough I look like something out of narcos after baking |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Well that depends
On a number off things
Ie what sex the person is and how truthful they are
Ie if it’s woman I like to take my time a connection and stuff
If it’s couples then I like to get to know them a little but not to much that it gets in the way off they relationship I am under no elushoin that it’s anything more than what it is
For guys I am easy just be truthful and just don’t expect me to jump there and then
Ie you don’t have to hump and ghost if your just looking for a one night bang and use me just be truthful I don’t mind being used I be using back just let me know before Hand
If you want more than say so just don’t bam me up
I am always down for just mindless sex when it comes to guys just be honest that that’s what it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Food, basically.
Turns out women are more into coq au vin than cock in van.
As much as my wit, sartorial elegance, charm and rippling dad bod attracts, it seems to be the frittata, pancakes, banana bread, risotto, stir fry, red Thai pineapple curry, fajitas, lasagne, falafel and roast dinner that have really saved me.
I'm wondering if I could get something like that onto the hot pics, maybe hot dinner pics, make this place go full Instagram.
I do like a nice kebab "
I did see a good video on home made pittas recently, best I can do for disgusting twirly meat is a pepperami on a drill. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Food, basically.
Turns out women are more into coq au vin than cock in van.
As much as my wit, sartorial elegance, charm and rippling dad bod attracts, it seems to be the frittata, pancakes, banana bread, risotto, stir fry, red Thai pineapple curry, fajitas, lasagne, falafel and roast dinner that have really saved me.
I'm wondering if I could get something like that onto the hot pics, maybe hot dinner pics, make this place go full Instagram."
Offerings of warm fajitas,frittatas and falafels...the dream! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Food, basically.
Turns out women are more into coq au vin than cock in van.
As much as my wit, sartorial elegance, charm and rippling dad bod attracts, it seems to be the frittata, pancakes, banana bread, risotto, stir fry, red Thai pineapple curry, fajitas, lasagne, falafel and roast dinner that have really saved me.
I'm wondering if I could get something like that onto the hot pics, maybe hot dinner pics, make this place go full Instagram.
Offerings of warm fajitas,frittatas and falafels...the dream! "
And we haven't even mentioned the guacamole, hummus and tsatsiki yet.
Niche found.
Daddy chef is here.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Share a stick of gum with me and I’m all yours. 
Any particular gum?
As long as you’ve not chewed all the flavour from it, I’m easy.
Oohh I will keep that in mind "
And remember bubbalicious is the best! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Share a stick of gum with me and I’m all yours.
Any particular gum?
As long as you’ve not chewed all the flavour from it, I’m easy.
Oohh I will keep that in mind
And remember bubbalicious is the best! "
Pah! Bazooka Joe was the best. They used to have little comics in and everything! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Buy me dinner and give me a kiss goodbye 
I mean it would have worked if I hadn't of met "him"
I can’t even remember the dinner bit …  "
Tbf neither can I.....I'd still get in your trousers if you would let me |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Buy me dinner and give me a kiss goodbye
I mean it would have worked if I hadn't of met "him"
I can’t even remember the dinner bit …
Tbf neither can I.....I'd still get in your trousers if you would let me "
 well I’m not *not* allowing it! (Ooh a double negative .. is that allowed? ) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Buy me dinner and give me a kiss goodbye
I mean it would have worked if I hadn't of met "him"
I can’t even remember the dinner bit …
Tbf neither can I.....I'd still get in your trousers if you would let me
well I’m not *not* allowing it! (Ooh a double negative .. is that allowed? )"
My head hurts, do you wanna fuck or not |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Buy me dinner and give me a kiss goodbye
I mean it would have worked if I hadn't of met "him"
I can’t even remember the dinner bit …
Tbf neither can I.....I'd still get in your trousers if you would let me
well I’m not *not* allowing it! (Ooh a double negative .. is that allowed? )
My head hurts, do you wanna fuck or not "
Aye, g’wan then! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Share a stick of gum with me and I’m all yours.
Any particular gum?
As long as you’ve not chewed all the flavour from it, I’m easy.
Oohh I will keep that in mind
And remember bubbalicious is the best!
Pah! Bazooka Joe was the best. They used to have little comics in and everything! "
And a bottle of Panda Pop. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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What about you, OP? How can we get into your pants?
Why, thanks for asking!
Boobies. Specifically boobies in my inbox. Guaranteed ice-breaker.
That or “how’s u?”
Either will do |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Food, basically.
Turns out women are more into coq au vin than cock in van.
As much as my wit, sartorial elegance, charm and rippling dad bod attracts, it seems to be the frittata, pancakes, banana bread, risotto, stir fry, red Thai pineapple curry, fajitas, lasagne, falafel and roast dinner that have really saved me.
I'm wondering if I could get something like that onto the hot pics, maybe hot dinner pics, make this place go full Instagram."
Stop it… it’s too much… |
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"I can’t be arsed to put in the long hours or try and be original or unique in your inbox ..
So come on. Give us a few shortcuts.
What’s the best way to ensure we get YOUR attention?
"
You don't ask a fish how to catch a fish...you ask a fisherman |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Being incredibly intelligent, fun, funny and picked up on a detail few others have. Not a massive longggggg message, but a smart one"
How about incredibly funny looking? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Being incredibly intelligent, fun, funny and picked up on a detail few others have. Not a massive longggggg message, but a smart one
How about incredibly funny looking?"
Yeah, why not, I’m having a slow week  |
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"Start with
“Hi”
“You sound fun”
Mention something from my profile that I hate and have said I hate.
Add 3 cock pics & a really old blurry face picture.
Then when I say no thank you very politely, please message back telling me what an ungrateful fat cow I am.
I’ll be yours forever more
Alternatively food & gin works "
Im going with plan A!!! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I can’t be arsed to put in the long hours or try and be original or unique in your inbox ..
So come on. Give us a few shortcuts.
What’s the best way to ensure we get YOUR attention?
You don't ask a fish how to catch a fish...you ask a fisherman"
But what if they’re one of those fishermen that embellish the size of their catch!? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Food, basically.
Turns out women are more into coq au vin than cock in van.
As much as my wit, sartorial elegance, charm and rippling dad bod attracts, it seems to be the frittata, pancakes, banana bread, risotto, stir fry, red Thai pineapple curry, fajitas, lasagne, falafel and roast dinner that have really saved me.
I'm wondering if I could get something like that onto the hot pics, maybe hot dinner pics, make this place go full Instagram.
Stop it… it’s too much… "
Please, I'd keep going till we hit Seven levels of gluttony.
Granted, it'd be a confusing boner by the end, but, I'd power through. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I can’t be arsed to put in the long hours or try and be original or unique in your inbox ..
So come on. Give us a few shortcuts.
What’s the best way to ensure we get YOUR attention?
You don't ask a fish how to catch a fish...you ask a fisherman"
Pollocks |
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"I can’t be arsed to put in the long hours or try and be original or unique in your inbox ..
So come on. Give us a few shortcuts.
What’s the best way to ensure we get YOUR attention?
You don't ask a fish how to catch a fish...you ask a fisherman
But what if they’re one of those fishermen that embellish the size of their catch!? "
It doesnt matter, its still a fish
And we know the rule in here, any fish is better than no fish |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Being incredibly intelligent, fun, funny and picked up on a detail few others have. Not a massive longggggg message, but a smart one
How about incredibly funny looking?
Yeah, why not, I’m having a slow week "
Well if you want quick, then you've found the right person |
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Stop expecting everything to work.. if you want the fuck anything type admit it she's on here!!
If you want the assured weekly type then don't take on the fuck anything chic
Be honest.. cause lies stand out
Your profile saying looking for fun and yet your messages saying looking for one
Simple stop lying and maybe ?? you will attract something real
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Stop expecting everything to work.. if you want the fuck anything type admit it she's on here!!
If you want the assured weekly type then don't take on the fuck anything chic
Be honest.. cause lies stand out
Your profile saying looking for fun and yet your messages saying looking for one
Simple stop lying and maybe ?? you will attract something real
"
Whoosh? |
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By *riel13Woman
over a year ago
Northampton |
"Share a stick of gum with me and I’m all yours.
Any particular gum?
As long as you’ve not chewed all the flavour from it, I’m easy.
Oohh I will keep that in mind
And remember bubbalicious is the best! "
Noted |
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By *humper.Man
over a year ago
northumberland/scotland |
"Wine gums.
But surely not for the green ones, Thumper? Can see why anyone would put out for a red or black (see also jelly babies)."
I was onboard with everything you said, up until "jelly babies"
I'm out.  |
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Be patient. I'm very busy and my work situation can change at a moments notice.
If I say I'm into doing something then I really do want it.
Above all use the biggest sexual organ we have and communicate!
Ps. I'm crap at taking the initial lead |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Funny always catches my attention.
Show up when you say you will, throw in a back massage as well as orgasms. Breakfast in bed would be ace too "
Why not all three, at once?
Challenging, but perhaps rewarding.
Just, put a towel down first, the crumbs, my goodness, we're not savages. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Wear blue underwear
I bought blue underwear the other day baby blue not bright blue though
If you'd let me see you in them I'd be most grateful. "
I’ll post a pic tomorrow just for you |
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By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago
Maldon and Peterborough |
"Wear blue underwear
I bought blue underwear the other day baby blue not bright blue though
If you'd let me see you in them I'd be most grateful.
I’ll post a pic tomorrow just for you "
Woohoo. |
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By *lynJMan
over a year ago
Morden |
"Cake can sometimes help, or so I’m led to believe
I thought cake always worked. Is that not the law?
Only on Fab  "
There's places besides Fab? What are you talking about? Isn't this where all life is?
Next you'll be telling me that the Earth isn't flat! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Start with
“Hi”
“You sound fun”
Mention something from my profile that I hate and have said I hate.
Add 3 cock pics & a really old blurry face picture.
Then when I say no thank you very politely, please message back telling me what an ungrateful fat cow I am.
I’ll be yours forever more
Alternatively food & gin works "
Haha!! This is the best description of Fab! |
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By *errocaWoman
over a year ago
Shropshire |
"I can’t be arsed to put in the long hours or try and be original or unique in your inbox ..
So come on. Give us a few shortcuts.
What’s the best way to ensure we get YOUR attention?
"
Whisper into my ear... "my round, what you want" that's a sure way to get in there |
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"I can’t be arsed to put in the long hours or try and be original or unique in your inbox ..
So come on. Give us a few shortcuts.
What’s the best way to ensure we get YOUR attention?
Whisper into my ear... "my round, what you want" that's a sure way to get in there "
Whispers “Im round - and already d*unk - I dance like no one’s watching - when in reality everyone is… especially the guys on the door… because they wish they had my moves.. is it sexy time yet?’” How was that - i bet your pants just flew off like Mary Poppins waved her umbrella at them!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A face pic, a dick pick and a message that’s well written, interesting and in a dream world, funny. If I like the dick and the face it’s game on."
For your eyes only |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You’d have to play the long game with me. I’m monogamous so you’d have to somehow get rid of my wife, wait until I was ready to move on and then show me your tits |
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By *dy-ukTV/TS
over a year ago
Alcester |
"I think most folk here would have a better chance if they just stole them off a washing line to be honest "
Someone stole a pair of my ex's knickers from the washing line once. She didn't mind about the knickers much, but wanted the 45 pegs back! |
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"I think most folk here would have a better chance if they just stole them off a washing line to be honest
Someone stole a pair of my ex's knickers from the washing line once. She didn't mind about the knickers much, but wanted the 45 pegs back! "
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Reading this thread is a little dispiriting tbf, it seems like the ladies actually want things like charisma and good looks.
Where are all the women with incredibly low standards in men? How the hell are us mediocre gents gonna get any action?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Tall, good thighs and will travel…
Oh and make laugh and all that crap xx"
Ah you forgot the stamina part  bit of a pringles lady - once ya pop you just ain't allowed to stop |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Feed me, stroke my hair and tell me I'm pretty.
I don’t share food."
I've got a great tactic for this, being plant based no one wants to eat my "vegan shit". So I can easily make a lovely lamb dish with Greek salad, stuffed vine leaves etc and know that the chilli spiced fried potato cubes are mine all mine and there's only so much veg a person will eat when there's succulent lamb on the table. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Feed me, stroke my hair and tell me I'm pretty.
See i tried that and got told "stop I'm not a fucking cat"
What can I say, I totally relate to cats  "
Oh I completely agree, I'm pretty sure my spirit animal is a cat, or maybe a bear, emerging from deep hibernation, until the coffee kicks in.
If only bears liked scritches, moody sods, let me love you. |
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» Add a new message to this topic
Oh and I love it when you girls laugh at my naff jokes - again, it's just a really big confidence booster for me xxx 