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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Firstly, I admit ignorance about the current pronoun debate, so I’m just asking my question in order to better understand, not from any viewpoint of judgment. I’m just wondering the reason for adding the “They” component to a “She/They” descriptor, and wanted to pick Fabbers’ brains |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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As in why does a biological female describe themselves as a she/her?
I've assumed it to be a show of support for people's right to identify as they wish but I've never thought to ask.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This never ends well. Usually descends into a grumblepuddle about gender identification.
Use either the pronouns the person asks you to use or the pronoun you think is appropriate. No need to overthink it. |
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My assumption would be that they drift from femme to non binary and their gender identity is fluid.
For me personally it indicates they are a safe person to be around and that they understand the nuances of gender identity. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My assumption would be that they drift from femme to non binary and their gender identity is fluid.
For me personally it indicates they are a safe person to be around and that they understand the nuances of gender identity. "
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This never ends well. Usually descends into a grumblepuddle about gender identification.
Use either the pronouns the person asks you to use or the pronoun you think is appropriate. No need to overthink it. "
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"Firstly, I admit ignorance about the current pronoun debate, so I’m just asking my question in order to better understand, not from any viewpoint of judgment. I’m just wondering the reason for adding the “They” component to a “She/They” descriptor, and wanted to pick Fabbers’ brains"
In this particular case I’d wonder if it was a typo/autocorrect error and should actually be She/Them as typically it would work something like this (using myself as a He/Him as an example)…
“HE is a nice person, I like HIM”
Using They in this context doesn’t seem to work…
“SHE is a nice person, I like THEY”
Where as Them does seem more grammatically correct…
“SHE is a nice person, I like THEM”
Obviously it is best not to assume, but a friendly enquiry about how they’d like to be addressed shouldn’t cause offence, and would probably be welcomed |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"My assumption would be that they drift from femme to non binary and their gender identity is fluid.
For me personally it indicates they are a safe person to be around and that they understand the nuances of gender identity. "
I have such a deficit of knowledge about all of these things. I don’t know what I don’t know, but it’s good to learn |
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"My assumption would be that they drift from femme to non binary and their gender identity is fluid.
For me personally it indicates they are a safe person to be around and that they understand the nuances of gender identity.
I have such a deficit of knowledge about all of these things. I don’t know what I don’t know, but it’s good to learn"
I think you're approaching it in the right way. I'm non binary and don't see any issue with your approach. Your intention to understand from a non judgmental view is clear. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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She/Her/Hers/They/Them/Theirs are all suitable for use when talking about the person you are referring to. Use whichever one is grammatically correct for the sentence you are using. |
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"Firstly, I admit ignorance about the current pronoun debate, so I’m just asking my question in order to better understand, not from any viewpoint of judgment. I’m just wondering the reason for adding the “They” component to a “She/They” descriptor, and wanted to pick Fabbers’ brains"
I believe it’s for someone that identifies as female/non-binary
But honestly, no idea
Instead I try to ask why it matters, instead of just why. And just use whatever they prefer |
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"She/Her/Hers/They/Them/Theirs are all suitable for use when talking about the person you are referring to. Use whichever one is grammatically correct for the sentence you are using. "
unrelated but you're a hot list addition. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"She/Her/Hers/They/Them/Theirs are all suitable for use when talking about the person you are referring to. Use whichever one is grammatically correct for the sentence you are using.
unrelated but you're a hot list addition. "
Wish I could add you twice to our hotlist just for your Sasha Velour reference  |
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"She/Her/Hers/They/Them/Theirs are all suitable for use when talking about the person you are referring to. Use whichever one is grammatically correct for the sentence you are using.
unrelated but you're a hot list addition.
Wish I could add you twice to our hotlist just for your Sasha Velour reference "
I like to think we're similar in look and vibe |
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By *adyJayneWoman
over a year ago
Burnleyish (She/They) |
"My assumption would be that they drift from femme to non binary and their gender identity is fluid.
For me personally it indicates they are a safe person to be around and that they understand the nuances of gender identity. "
As a she/they ^^ this sums it up well.
On other sites I have my gender listed as genderqueer but that isn't an option here. |
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By *adyJayneWoman
over a year ago
Burnleyish (She/They) |
"Firstly, I admit ignorance about the current pronoun debate, so I’m just asking my question in order to better understand, not from any viewpoint of judgment. I’m just wondering the reason for adding the “They” component to a “She/They” descriptor, and wanted to pick Fabbers’ brains
In this particular case I’d wonder if it was a typo/autocorrect error and should actually be She/Them as typically it would work something like this (using myself as a He/Him as an example)…
“HE is a nice person, I like HIM”
Using They in this context doesn’t seem to work…
“SHE is a nice person, I like THEY”
Where as Them does seem more grammatically correct…
“SHE is a nice person, I like THEM”
Obviously it is best not to assume, but a friendly enquiry about how they’d like to be addressed shouldn’t cause offence, and would probably be welcomed"
It would be they are a nice person, I like them. As opposed to mixing pronouns.
The use of she/they is to highlight the fact that I use both sets of pronouns depending on here my headspace is... So She/her and they/them.
But I'm also happy no matter what pronouns someone uses for me. |
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"Firstly, I admit ignorance about the current pronoun debate, so I’m just asking my question in order to better understand, not from any viewpoint of judgment. I’m just wondering the reason for adding the “They” component to a “She/They” descriptor, and wanted to pick Fabbers’ brains
In this particular case I’d wonder if it was a typo/autocorrect error and should actually be She/Them as typically it would work something like this (using myself as a He/Him as an example)…
“HE is a nice person, I like HIM”
Using They in this context doesn’t seem to work…
“SHE is a nice person, I like THEY”
Where as Them does seem more grammatically correct…
“SHE is a nice person, I like THEM”
Obviously it is best not to assume, but a friendly enquiry about how they’d like to be addressed shouldn’t cause offence, and would probably be welcomed
It would be they are a nice person, I like them. As opposed to mixing pronouns.
The use of she/they is to highlight the fact that I use both sets of pronouns depending on here my headspace is... So She/her and they/them.
But I'm also happy no matter what pronouns someone uses for me. "
That actually makes more sense now. Thank you |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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No idea and I'm unlikely to ask her/them as I can't be arsed with a lecture. I'll use whatever pronouns a person asks me to use, in the same way I'll use their actual name and not someone else's. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No idea and I'm unlikely to ask her/them as I can't be arsed with a lecture. I'll use whatever pronouns a person asks me to use, in the same way I'll use their actual name and not someone else's."
Ditto
Or sometimes I just use "Wench" |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Cba arsed to read all the other replies so sorry if this has been mentioned before. Maybe they are gender fluid. Depending on how they feel like identifying on any particular day they may want to be she or they.
Sorry if this isn’t worded correctly because I too am not educated on the subject but this seems like the most obvious answer to me. |
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By *adyJayneWoman
over a year ago
Burnleyish (She/They) |
"Cba arsed to read all the other replies so sorry if this has been mentioned before. Maybe they are gender fluid. Depending on how they feel like identifying on any particular day they may want to be she or they.
Sorry if this isn’t worded correctly because I too am not educated on the subject but this seems like the most obvious answer to me."
It's individual but you're pretty much spot on |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I just don’t care about your pronouns, it’s your issue.."
I get that.
But if someone was clear that they wanted to be addressed using pronouns which you would expect to use with the opposite sex, would you intentionally ignore that?
Genuinely curious btw, not looking for a rammy  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My only comment is that declaring pronouns is akin to coming out for folk and should only happen by individual choice.
Peer pressure, employer requirement or the likes of the stories reported where celebs demand it on set is truly not okay. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Ive not read all replies
But
My eldest is she/they. Born female. Doesn't always feel female, but doesnt feel male either.
If my child chooses she/they pronouns, thats is their choice and i honour it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I just don’t care about your pronouns, it’s your issue..
I get that.
But if someone was clear that they wanted to be addressed using pronouns which you would expect to use with the opposite sex, would you intentionally ignore that?
Genuinely curious btw, not looking for a rammy "
Of course not, that would be rude, but don’t expect me to figure it out. If it looks like a duck, quacks like a duck, until it tells me it’s a gazelle, I will consider it a duck. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My only comment is that declaring pronouns is akin to coming out for folk and should only happen by individual choice.
Peer pressure, employer requirement or the likes of the stories reported where celebs demand it on set is truly not okay."
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Firstly, I admit ignorance about the current pronoun debate, so I’m just asking my question in order to better understand, not from any viewpoint of judgment. I’m just wondering the reason for adding the “They” component to a “She/They” descriptor, and wanted to pick Fabbers’ brains"
I would assume it refers to non binary but I wouldn't ask them. |
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, but want to understand