FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Is flirting obvious enough for you?
Is flirting obvious enough for you?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Do we all have those type of moments when you feel you might have missed an opportunity with someone?
Did you send out the right signals and let’s them know you were into them? Or were you too subtle that they would never have known?
Or, did you find out sometime later that the one you thought wasn’t interested, really was and you just didn’t pick up those signals, and when you realised it’s too late?
I’m talking about the ones that get away. Who’s to blame for that? Or like me do you just think it’s circumstances? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I'm completely oblivious to "flirting"
Much prefer the direct approach x"
So you’d prefer something like - Sparkle, I’d love to be lucky enough for you to let me climb I’ll over you naked giving you all the orgasms you could handle!
That type of thing?  |
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"I'm completely oblivious to "flirting"
Much prefer the direct approach x
So you’d prefer something like - Sparkle, I’d love to be lucky enough for you to let me climb I’ll over you naked giving you all the orgasms you could handle!
That type of thing? "
That works x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I love to flirt and find it really sexy. Sometimes it just eye contact but it does give me a lift. "
Eye contact where you can feel the heat in your chest… oh yes. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’m a Gemini so flirting is in my blood….. some people can take it as more than flirting and some don’t it’s how you take it ( the flirting that is )  "
Well at least I know I can blame it on my star sign too.
Flirting is easy and a bit of fun, I genuinely just think it's a giggle and assume nothing more, which is why I'm basically oblivious if someone actually wants more |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I’m a Gemini so flirting is in my blood….. some people can take it as more than flirting and some don’t it’s how you take it ( the flirting that is ) "
I still give them it even if they don’t want it (the flirting that is ) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’m a massive flirt but I can never tell if someone is flirting with me or if they’re just a nice person. So I never shoot my shot because how embarrassing is rejection  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I’m a massive flirt but I can never tell if someone is flirting with me or if they’re just a nice person. So I never shoot my shot because how embarrassing is rejection "
Playing it safe is just that Steve, we stay in the safe zone whilst the others are home soon I g fun on all the rides.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The problem is differentiating between flirting with intention and friendly flirting with no intention. It’s mixed signals so some people just don’t take it further incase it’s not with intention. I’ve never had anyone say to me oh I used to like you. So not something I’ve experienced. I’ve definitely experienced the flirting without intent, probably more than the with intent. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The problem is differentiating between flirting with intention and friendly flirting with no intention. It’s mixed signals so some people just don’t take it further incase it’s not with intention. I’ve never had anyone say to me oh I used to like you. So not something I’ve experienced. I’ve definitely experienced the flirting without intent, probably more than the with intent. "
Yup yup, I think nowadays it's even more rife with complexity from my position, so I'll always assume it means nothing than risk the potential fall out of getting it wrong. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"The problem is differentiating between flirting with intention and friendly flirting with no intention. It’s mixed signals so some people just don’t take it further incase it’s not with intention. I’ve never had anyone say to me oh I used to like you. So not something I’ve experienced. I’ve definitely experienced the flirting without intent, probably more than the with intent. "
Sparkle above said about needing it a bit more direct, i can understand that. And maybe we all do, and sometimes the ‘mixed signals’ are when we think there’s something there, and it’s not. It’s just friendliness.
I just expect everyone wants to shag me, so I'm good with that.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I’m a massive flirt but I can never tell if someone is flirting with me or if they’re just a nice person. So I never shoot my shot because how embarrassing is rejection "
You flirt? Noooo??!?! |
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By *ayHaychMan
over a year ago
Leeds (Home) / Sheffield (Work) |
I have no clue when it comes to flirting unless it is direct and obvious.
In one job I was told “oh xxx is in to you she’s always flirting with you” and wasn’t believed by my colleagues when I said this was totally untrue. At a different place I was just a close friend to a woman but apparently I was flirting all the time according to her.
It can really go right over my head and as a guy I don’t want to assume there is more to something than there is, and make someone else uncomfortable. |
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I usually need to have the flirt anvil dropped in my head before I even know anyone is interested in me.
It’s probably harder for anyone with autism to know someone is flirting, because it’s so non-verbal.
Hades |
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I'm useless at flirting, I can't tell if someone is attracted to me or just being pleasant. Anybody wanting to hump my bones and bring me to peaks of ecstasy - please just say so in plain language. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have no clue! I don't flirt with anyone myself until I know for sure I want to bang them because my previous attempts at lighthearted flirtation have been taken too seriously and it lead to much awkwardness. |
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It’s a running joke with my friends that I cannot pick up when someone flirts with me. A recent lady had to just literally jump on me,and said after that she was close to giving up as she’d flirted her hardest and I didn’t see it.  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I have no clue! I don't flirt with anyone myself until I know for sure I want to bang them because my previous attempts at lighthearted flirtation have been taken too seriously and it lead to much awkwardness. "
I can also understand this. Awkward can either put a stop to a possible good friendship or stop an existing one.  |
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I am extremely playful with people, but it should all be taken lightheartedly. If I actually want to have sex with him I would tell him. I like clarity as friendships can be muddied far to easily by miscommunicated feelings |
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I had a colleague I worked with over 30 years ago I flirted like mad with her but never thought she felt the same
Cut to five years ago she found me on LinkedIn and told me she had the hots for me all the time
She was definitely the one that got away |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’m terrible to read I think! I flirt a lot on here but flirting doesn’t mean I want to fuck them. Just like I don’t assume a guy who flirts with me necessarily wants to fuck me. |
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That's an interesting post OP. Flirting is an indiscernible yardstick for me, either when I'm flirting - successfully or with futility - or being flirted with.
I hate applying nauseating 'false charm' to my 'flirts'. Instead I just try to beguile them with my usual rhetorical nonsense.
In essence, I have no method.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Straight over my head - completely oblivious.
I've had some fairly Aggy outcomes too one of whom slapped me for teasing her!!!
On a few occasions I've had frustrated women ask me straight if I'm going to stop fucking about and take them to bed 
Personally I think it's better than being "that" bloke that assumes everyone wants to fuck em  |
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I'm a moron when it comes to flirting and reading signals, normally I think they're being really friendly and leave it at that.
I basically need to be beat over the head with sign saying, "I'm into you, you dumb fuck!!" |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's a bit of a mixed bag for me
Yes, I flirt for fun on here often and it's not sexual at all. I love a good double entendre or to give out flattery. Which there is a tonne of.... and makes a lie out of all the folk who say fab isn't what it used to be etc
But I'm naturally an introvert so if there's genuine strong attraction, you'd sometimes find me hiding behind my hair depending on my mood 
At the end of the day though, if I want it enough I'll front up and seek it out.
Life's too short... yadda yadda |
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It seems that the majority of us, at least those posting in this thread, are bloody useless at this flirting thing. We either can't do it, or can't recognise it, or both.
Time to ban flirting I think. Fab is a place where we should all be grown up enough to just outright ask, and to give a plain response, without anyone getting offended (provided it's done in a reasonably polite way).
Oh well then, nothing ventured, nothing gained. Ladies and couples, faf with a trans woman, getting past her sell-by date and slightly depressive? Full details on my profile page, all messages will be answered. Polly by name, Chromatic by nature (nah, that doesn't really work does it?) Xxxxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I am extremely playful with people, but it should all be taken lightheartedly. If I actually want to have sex with him I would tell him. I like clarity as friendships can be muddied far to easily by miscommunicated feelings"
I know that’s right |
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By *az2019Man
over a year ago
Yorkshire/stockport |
I'm useless at noticing... miss read signals massively.
I didn't even notice my ex wife was flirting/getting My attention for nearly 6 months... totally oblivious.
Good job I already fancied the knickers off her when I did finally twigg... well when she had to blatantly tell me I was a d***head for not knowing. |
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"It seems that the majority of us, at least those posting in this thread, are bloody useless at this flirting thing......"
•
I was just about to say the same thing, Pølly! 
Can you imagine us all doing speed dating... we'd be as much use as tits on a fish. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If she doesn't tell me straight to my face "hey ! I want you!" ...than any flirting attempt will be futile on me "
How'd you do that online though...
Asking for a friend  |
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Depends how the flirting is done - if its done on her knees with a mouthful of my cock - i may pick up on the subtle signals!! Other than that - writing it in the sky with smoke or towing a huge stadium sized banner with the message on might work. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If she doesn't tell me straight to my face "hey ! I want you!" ...than any flirting attempt will be futile on me
How'd you do that online though...
Asking for a friend "
Message me I’ll
Help you out |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Unless someone is sitting there with a big banner saying I fancy you I’m oblivious. "
looking at you I'd say you should assume everyone fancies you unless they blatantly say otherwise  |
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By *cplsMan
over a year ago
Nr Waltham |
I'm hopeless, apparently I flirt quite natuarally but I need a billboard posting before I realise she is remotely interested in me. I have chatted to a couple of really lovely ladies on here but not followed up as I dont know if they are interested or just polite. Maybe you know who you are? |
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Whats flirting, who? Where? What?
Its an untranslatable language for me.
Can't suss out whether a woman was into me, or if she's being just being very friendly, along with my lifelong shyness with opposite sex, especially as I'm getting older, its getting much more challenging to ever over come this horrible dilemma, the Bane of my life |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The problem is differentiating between flirting with intention and friendly flirting with no intention. It’s mixed signals so some people just don’t take it further incase it’s not with intention. I’ve never had anyone say to me oh I used to like you. So not something I’ve experienced. I’ve definitely experienced the flirting without intent, probably more than the with intent. "
'differentiating between flirting with intention and friendly flirting with no intention.'
That's exactly what I said to my HR manager |
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"Online yes
In person no I am good at reading body language
But always scared to act on it incase I have it wrong "
I invariably tend to write off even overt incoming signals as likely innocent, for fear of misreading the displayed intent from another.
(and then rebuke myself for my stupidity later!)
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"It seems that the majority of us, at least those posting in this thread, are bloody useless at this flirting thing......
•
I was just about to say the same thing, Pølly!
Can you imagine us all doing speed dating... we'd be as much use as tits on a fish. "
Do fish not have tits? If not, why does the little mermaid wear a bra? |
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By *agic.MMan
over a year ago
Orpington |
"If she doesn't tell me straight to my face "hey ! I want you!" ...than any flirting attempt will be futile on me
How'd you do that online though...
Asking for a friend "
Send a friend request...than upload a video saying " hey, I want you..." |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If she doesn't tell me straight to my face "hey ! I want you!" ...than any flirting attempt will be futile on me
How'd you do that online though...
Asking for a friend
Send a friend request...than upload a video saying " hey, I want you..." "
*takes notes for 'friend' |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I had a colleague I worked with over 30 years ago I flirted like mad with her but never thought she felt the same
Cut to five years ago she found me on LinkedIn and told me she had the hots for me all the time
She was definitely the one that got away "
that’s the sort of thing I was talking about. It’s crazy things like this are missed in life. |
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