FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > How do you guys feel when.....
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"Again " I apologise bud if this is a repeat of an ongoing subject, the forum is a large place | |||
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"You okay by the rules... have genuine nice, artistic and decent photos.... a well constructed profile... and conduct yourselves in the forum well. And you private message a lovely lady who ticks all the boxes... asks for a face picture ti be included with your first message (which you do, obligingly).. and conduct your first opening message with decorum, pizzazz, a little bit of cheek but 100% genuity.... For the message to get read and then never replied to. For me, I understand that it's free choice and you just take it on the chin... but the question is, do any of you guys take it to heart? Have any of you felt like you've 'over messaged' that person subsequently? How does the whole experience of going through that whole process for it to get completely ignored make you feel? I just want to hear some stories and tales on the various situations that a lot of guys have probably found themselves in Discuss x" Given for each lady/cpl there are 100 single men, I understand they might get bombarded with mesgs to reply to each one. The thing which frustrate me most is that when we both wink at each other and still the mesgs gets ignored. | |||
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"Again " Did you expect anything different with the amount of single men on here Miss S x | |||
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" Given for each lady/cpl there are 100 single men, I understand they might get bombarded with mesgs to reply to each one. The thing which frustrate me most is that when we both wink at each other and still the mesgs gets ignored. " ?? This These are the types of things I'm referring to... that little bit of 'grey' area in-between the rules and the socially unacceptable | |||
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"I find myself being something of an expert in this field I suppose its the curse/beauty of being online. Theres no need for some to reply as theres not the pressure of being face to face. I imagine if you are a single female being totally bombarded with messages its near impossible to reply to everyone or maybe just feel too overwhelmed to be polite anymore. My regular fwb here has over 450 messages unread and after talking about it with her i no longer take it personally if i dont get a reply " I love how guys think every woman on here is bombarded with messages. | |||
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"Being aesthetically challenged I just chalk it up to experience. Everyone can't like everyone. It's disappointing when you fancy someone but they don't. Nothing you can do, just keep fighting the good fight. " Amen to that!! It helps having a thick skin and the ability to laugh at yourself | |||
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"You okay by the rules... have genuine nice, artistic and decent photos.... a well constructed profile... and conduct yourselves in the forum well. And you private message a lovely lady who ticks all the boxes... asks for a face picture ti be included with your first message (which you do, obligingly).. and conduct your first opening message with decorum, pizzazz, a little bit of cheek but 100% genuity.... For the message to get read and then never replied to. For me, I understand that it's free choice and you just take it on the chin... but the question is, do any of you guys take it to heart? Have any of you felt like you've 'over messaged' that person subsequently? How does the whole experience of going through that whole process for it to get completely ignored make you feel? I just want to hear some stories and tales on the various situations that a lot of guys have probably found themselves in Discuss x" No reply 'is' a reply. OP - businesses spend vast amounts of money on postal, email, online and TV adverts that you receive whether you want them or not on a daily basis on your social media feed, TV, radio and through your letterbox. Do you reply to all of the ones you're not interested in or just delete/bin/ignore what you see on the screen? A | |||
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"Sorry to break it to you but that’s the reality of sending messages to women on this website. Out of 500 messages sent, less than 1% of them will be read. It might be a numbers game but it’s also totally bullshit." Ok, first off, 500? Is there really 500 on here that are your 'type'?? That could be where you're going wrong?? | |||
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"Again, to reiterate... I get it. Someone I met up with had over 1000 unread messages, and her profile didn't even have any profile pictures... so we chatted and likewise, I don't take it personally... I know I'm a great guy and I'm happy with that. It's just frustrating I guess that I understand the feeling of being dismissed when not even given the chance to prove yourself. Sometimes you end up searching for a diamond and all you end up with is a bunch of rocks. " Id have a 1000 if I left it long enough. | |||
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"Just from a woman's perspective, on my side it's nothing personal. It could be we aren't a match, I haven't read the message, the tone sounds like its a copy and paste job or the message indicates my profile hasn't been read. I think guys automatically assume it's because of the face picture which isn't the case. I've actually believe it or not, not responded to people's message because I think they are too good looking. Whatever the reason women don't reply, no one should take it to heart. Know you're worth guys and just move on, the next person you message might just be your person too." This | |||
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"I'm thinking some are seeing this as the usual rant thread, rather than seeing it for what it is, a discussion on how people may feel. " Exactly this... I'm not ranting... I don't do arguments etc. I'm taking a more laid back discussion approach... Call it an amuse-bouche, if you will | |||
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"@coyoteugly I'm fairly sure though that you could have a vast array of choice, if you wanted to (that's a compliment, btw) lol" Ok this^ guys throw compliments about to blank profiles, they message 100's of women a day stating they're the most beautiful/sexy blah blah blah. Try been genuine with who you actually find attractive and you may have more success. May have, I don't do guarantees or anything. | |||
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"Sorry to break it to you but that’s the reality of sending messages to women on this website. Out of 500 messages sent, less than 1% of them will be read. It might be a numbers game but it’s also totally bullshit. Ok, first off, 500? Is there really 500 on here that are your 'type'?? That could be where you're going wrong?? " There’s no point trying to have a certain type on here….. even if you do see someone that you think is drop dead gorgeous and tried your best at writing the perfect message, there’s the high probability that it will either be deleted or ignored. | |||
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"You okay by the rules... have genuine nice, artistic and decent photos.... a well constructed profile... and conduct yourselves in the forum well. And you private message a lovely lady who ticks all the boxes... asks for a face picture ti be included with your first message (which you do, obligingly).. and conduct your first opening message with decorum, pizzazz, a little bit of cheek but 100% genuity.... For the message to get read and then never replied to. For me, I understand that it's free choice and you just take it on the chin... but the question is, do any of you guys take it to heart? Have any of you felt like you've 'over messaged' that person subsequently? How does the whole experience of going through that whole process for it to get completely ignored make you feel? I just want to hear some stories and tales on the various situations that a lot of guys have probably found themselves in Discuss x No reply 'is' a reply. OP - businesses spend vast amounts of money on postal, email, online and TV adverts that you receive whether you want them or not on a daily basis on your social media feed, TV, radio and through your letterbox. Do you reply to all of the ones you're not interested in or just delete/bin/ignore what you see on the screen? A" Genius | |||
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"Again, to reiterate... I get it. Someone I met up with had over 1000 unread messages, and her profile didn't even have any profile pictures... so we chatted and likewise, I don't take it personally... I know I'm a great guy and I'm happy with that. It's just frustrating I guess that I understand the feeling of being dismissed when not even given the chance to prove yourself. Sometimes you end up searching for a diamond and all you end up with is a bunch of rocks. " In your original post you mentioned a lady that 'ticks all the boxes'. Were those your boxes or hers? Even if you think you fit what someone is looking for you may not. Right height? Great. Right age? That's two - yay! She wants a beard? Just don't shave for a month. It says she wants an average sized cock and that's you - awesome! She can't accom so wants you to - and you can! This is sounding promising!! So you message. And get no reply. And wonder why? It's because attraction and interest can't be whittled down to a few generic characteristics. She may just not fancy you for the strangest reason. But that's her choice. Nobody is entitled to 'the chance to prove themselves'. There's no 'equality act' in place in the world of online contact sites and swinging. There's no right to appeal. There's no structured formal interview process that gives all applicants a level playing field to compete on. It may be frustrating. It may be disappointing. You may feel hard done by . But that's not the responsibility of anyone else to deal with. A | |||
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"I'm thinking some are seeing this as the usual rant thread, rather than seeing it for what it is, a discussion on how people may feel. Exactly this... I'm not ranting... I don't do arguments etc. I'm taking a more laid back discussion approach... Call it an amuse-bouche, if you will" That's fair enough, but just get over yourselves. We all get ignored by those who attention we desire, its feels degrading and it hurts like hell. But it's all part of the course of Fab and the constant whining in the forum really starts to grate | |||
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"It can be hard when you think there’s a genuine chance of compatibility with someone. We’ve messaged couples in the past who on the surface looked ideal. It’s a bit of a blow when they’ve then looked at your profile and obviously don’t feel the same way. Over the years we’ve toughened up and it matters less, especially when you make other connections that ARE ideal. Viv" Thank you Viv, great answer | |||
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"I'm loving the responses by the way guys, thank you it's interesting to see so many diverse opinions. Again, I think some people are thinking that the way I've worded it is another typical 'rant' thread, which it's not... it is just a hypothetical average approach to what I feel most men probably go through on here, and how it makes you feel and how you respond and react to it" People's natural reaction is to eye roll but it's easy to dismiss mens feelings. If it was a woman posting this, people would be more sympathetic. It's shit being a guy on here, I don't envy you at all. But when it comes to threads, post what you like don't worry about people trying to shut you down. | |||
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" feeling of being dismissed when not even given the chance to prove yourself. " I don't understand this. Why should anyone give someone here a chance to 'prove themself'? How far does it need to go before the message sender feels justified in 'proving' themselves ? What are you/the messager want to prove ? How can a person prove themselves by message ? Who are they wanting to prove themself to? What is expected to happen once the messager feels proven ? At what point does it stop? 'Talk to me via message, I'm a decent person, let me prove it' Or 'I'm better looking/funnier/more interesting in person, let me prove it' Or 'I'm the best kisser, let me prove it' Or 'I'm an amazing fuck, let me prove it' I'm genuinely interested in answers | |||
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"I'm thinking some are seeing this as the usual rant thread, rather than seeing it for what it is, a discussion on how people may feel. Exactly this... I'm not ranting... I don't do arguments etc. I'm taking a more laid back discussion approach... Call it an amuse-bouche, if you will That's fair enough, but just get over yourselves. We all get ignored by those who attention we desire, its feels degrading and it hurts like hell. But it's all part of the course of Fab and the constant whining in the forum really starts to grate" I am over myself, I have no qualms and my inner sanctum is at peace. I apologise if you are sick of these types of topics, but clearly with the responses there are people who would like to voice their opinions and get something off their chest. See it as a type of cathaticism | |||
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"Life’s way too short to worry about things that don’t matter. This is one of those things that most certainly - don’t matter - and I’m sure, even though this is a slightly different treatment, that this subject has been done to death. " Agreed. People may feel they gave the best message, etc, are decent looking, etc. etc. But if there is no match, there is no match. Dust yourself off and move on... | |||
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"I'm thinking some are seeing this as the usual rant thread, rather than seeing it for what it is, a discussion on how people may feel. Exactly this... I'm not ranting... I don't do arguments etc. I'm taking a more laid back discussion approach... Call it an amuse-bouche, if you will That's fair enough, but just get over yourselves. We all get ignored by those who attention we desire, its feels degrading and it hurts like hell. But it's all part of the course of Fab and the constant whining in the forum really starts to grate I am over myself, I have no qualms and my inner sanctum is at peace. I apologise if you are sick of these types of topics, but clearly with the responses there are people who would like to voice their opinions and get something off their chest. See it as a type of cathaticism " Wouldn't of even bothered explaining yourself, at the end of the day you can write whatever thread you want (obviously within the rules of Fab) There's a lot of the same threads on here but it's just how it'll always be, don't know why people take the time out to comment on it or why it bothers them so much. If it does, just swipe back off the thread, it's not hard really. Miss S x | |||
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" 'I'm an amazing fuck, let me prove it' " That's the final goal | |||
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"I'm loving the responses by the way guys, thank you it's interesting to see so many diverse opinions. Again, I think some people are thinking that the way I've worded it is another typical 'rant' thread, which it's not... it is just a hypothetical average approach to what I feel most men probably go through on here, and how it makes you feel and how you respond and react to it" The answers I've given have been generic and aimed at anyone and everyone. I was a single male for years on here. I started out unverified like everyone. I struggled initially too. I took advice, became more patient, got involved in the forums, went to a local club and an organised social and discovered that putting all your eggs in the one basket of just 'sending messages' was a guaranteed route to frustration and despair. I've said it before. If you struggle to engage with the opposite sex in the real world your life will be 100 times harder online. If you struggle to get vanilla dates on sites like POF and Tinder etc then you'll also struggle on here. Does it help if you're aesthetically pleasing with a good body, face and dare I say it - cock? Of course it does. That's no different to normal life. You have to sell yourself as well as you can and if you have no clue how to 'market' yourself then you're better off learning before you start messaging. Because once you've been disregarded by someone it can be hard to regain their interest - and that's if they haven't already blocked you. A | |||
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"The number of unread messages a woman has in her inbox has zero relevance because they are unread. The only messages that are relevant are the ones actually opened and read and as many have explained before they more often than not look at the senders profile before deciding if the message is worth opening or not. Many women don't have hundreds or thousands of messages for any number of reasons including use of filters. In regards to how I react to no reply I can't answer that because I don't send first contact messages and haven't done in 2 or 3 years. When I did send them I deleted them as soon as I sent them and didn't give them a second thought so I wasn't constantly checking to see if they had been read or not. I didn't take no reply as rejection but then again I wasn't sending lots of messages anyway. One or two a month maximum. Since focusing all my energies on the forums and no other part of the site, I've found that patience, a consistent profile and forum presence mean that women get a better sense of who I am and they feel confident enough to get in touch." Absolutely on point | |||
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"The number of unread messages a woman has in her inbox has zero relevance because they are unread. The only messages that are relevant are the ones actually opened and read and as many have explained before they more often than not look at the senders profile before deciding if the message is worth opening or not. Many women don't have hundreds or thousands of messages for any number of reasons including use of filters. In regards to how I react to no reply I can't answer that because I don't send first contact messages and haven't done in 2 or 3 years. When I did send them I deleted them as soon as I sent them and didn't give them a second thought so I wasn't constantly checking to see if they had been read or not. I didn't take no reply as rejection but then again I wasn't sending lots of messages anyway. One or two a month maximum. Since focusing all my energies on the forums and no other part of the site, I've found that patience, a consistent profile and forum presence mean that women get a better sense of who I am and they feel confident enough to get in touch." You mean people didn’t reply??? Swoon V x | |||
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"Again " Bit rude. A lot of forum topics are repeated constantly...do you give the same reply to those | |||
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"Again Bit rude. A lot of forum topics are repeated constantly...do you give the same reply to those " Thank you | |||
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"Haha mate you are always going to get slated for posting a ‘why don’t women reply’ thread Try having sexy pics " Haha... sexiness is in the eye of the beholder, but for you.. I'd make an exception | |||
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"I feel next to nothing, because my self esteem isn't wrapped up in whether or not I get a reply from a random person on the Internet. It's a silly crap shoot for fun, taking any of it too seriously is a recipe for disaster. " Look... as I've stated, puerile are being quick to think that I'm ranting or caught up in the woes of fab... I'm not lol I'm fine, honestly I was just merely and rationally trying to elegantly narrate it from a position where most guys (and ladies?) Could relate to | |||
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"Again Bit rude. A lot of forum topics are repeated constantly...do you give the same reply to those Thank you" You're welcome. You will always get some that like to be sarcastic x | |||
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"You okay by the rules... have genuine nice, artistic and decent photos.... a well constructed profile... and conduct yourselves in the forum well. And you private message a lovely lady who ticks all the boxes... asks for a face picture ti be included with your first message (which you do, obligingly).. and conduct your first opening message with decorum, pizzazz, a little bit of cheek but 100% genuity.... For the message to get read and then never replied to. For me, I understand that it's free choice and you just take it on the chin... but the question is, do any of you guys take it to heart? Have any of you felt like you've 'over messaged' that person subsequently? How does the whole experience of going through that whole process for it to get completely ignored make you feel? I just want to hear some stories and tales on the various situations that a lot of guys have probably found themselves in Discuss x" I was always told manners cost nothing - so you’ve probably dodged a bullet early on anyway. Also, Are the women in charge on here or something? What did I miss? | |||
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"I've just come to expect it, sure it sucks and can be disheartening, especially when you give it your best shot and think a real connection could be made. But after a while you realise that getting butthurt over it changes nothing, you might as well grow a sense of detachment from it all and just try and enjoy yourself. If they don't respond/politely decline it just means they're not right for you, and surely nobody wants to spend their time on people that don't match with them. We're all grown ups, we can take it on the chin and keep going " | |||
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"You okay by the rules... have genuine nice, artistic and decent photos.... a well constructed profile... and conduct yourselves in the forum well. And you private message a lovely lady who ticks all the boxes... asks for a face picture ti be included with your first message (which you do, obligingly).. and conduct your first opening message with decorum, pizzazz, a little bit of cheek but 100% genuity.... For the message to get read and then never replied to. For me, I understand that it's free choice and you just take it on the chin... but the question is, do any of you guys take it to heart? Have any of you felt like you've 'over messaged' that person subsequently? How does the whole experience of going through that whole process for it to get completely ignored make you feel? I just want to hear some stories and tales on the various situations that a lot of guys have probably found themselves in Discuss x I was always told manners cost nothing - so you’ve probably dodged a bullet early on anyway. Also, Are the women in charge on here or something? What did I miss?" Manners.... | |||
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" Are the women in charge on here or something? What did I miss?" Haha... I guess they are.. I don't know what the exact ratio is, but it feels like it's 10,000 to 1 (Jokes, btw) | |||
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"but the question is, do any of you guys take it to heart? Have any of you felt like you've 'over messaged' that person subsequently? How does the whole experience of going through that whole process for it to get completely ignored make you feel?" Your time on fab will be more enjoyable if you just delete your messages after you send them. You might think you tick all their boxes, but only they will lnow for sure. | |||
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"but the question is, do any of you guys take it to heart? Have any of you felt like you've 'over messaged' that person subsequently? How does the whole experience of going through that whole process for it to get completely ignored make you feel? Your time on fab will be more enjoyable if you just delete your messages after you send them. You might think you tick all their boxes, but only they will lnow for sure." Oh absolutely.... I couldn't agree more. A lot of the time I do, I personally don't get cut up about anything and couldn't really give a hoot. My time on Fab is to try to make decent friends on here and if anything else comes of it, then bonus.... go me! On a serious note, if anyone feels like they need to rant or need a chat... just private message me. My door is always open x | |||
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"I feel next to nothing, because my self esteem isn't wrapped up in whether or not I get a reply from a random person on the Internet. It's a silly crap shoot for fun, taking any of it too seriously is a recipe for disaster. Look... as I've stated, puerile are being quick to think that I'm ranting or caught up in the woes of fab... I'm not lol I'm fine, honestly I was just merely and rationally trying to elegantly narrate it from a position where most guys (and ladies?) Could relate to" I get it bro, and it's not a dig at you from anyone else I suspect. More so the fact this comes up a lot, elegant or not. Like I said, it's all a bit silly and everyone has the right to make knew jerk choices for their own needs. You included. Do you think us guys don't? My block list only grows bigger, and I usually don't need much in the way of reasons to decline and move on. It's nothing personal, it's life. Other's have stated things far more eloquently, obi basically has a side hustle in fostering newbies with tough love. He isn't wrong, so take the hard to swallow pills and follow the trail before you, or blaze your own. | |||
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"You okay by the rules... have genuine nice, artistic and decent photos.... a well constructed profile... and conduct yourselves in the forum well. And you private message a lovely lady who ticks all the boxes... asks for a face picture ti be included with your first message (which you do, obligingly).. and conduct your first opening message with decorum, pizzazz, a little bit of cheek but 100% genuity.... For the message to get read and then never replied to. For me, I understand that it's free choice and you just take it on the chin... but the question is, do any of you guys take it to heart? Have any of you felt like you've 'over messaged' that person subsequently? How does the whole experience of going through that whole process for it to get completely ignored make you feel? I just want to hear some stories and tales on the various situations that a lot of guys have probably found themselves in Discuss x" you can tick as many boxs as you like you can think your a match as much as you want but if the attraction is not there then all those ticks mean nothing swinging is a rejection scene it has to be just because of the sheer numbers of men so loads get rejected day in day out that is no ones fault ....100/200 men to every woman some areas alot lot more than that the other thing is no one owes you anything not even a answer there are 100s of forum post explaining why | |||
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"Again I apologise bud if this is a repeat of an ongoing subject, the forum is a large place" Your question gets asked at least once per week. No reply = no thanks. | |||
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"Here's a question.... how many men genuinely get a message first, rather than the other way round? I'm honestly not trying to create any hostility.. as it feels like I may have? " I believe we've not yet sent the first message regarding a possible meet, to anyone of any gender. I have through the forums though. | |||
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"Here's a question.... how many men genuinely get a message first, rather than the other way round? I'm honestly not trying to create any hostility.. as it feels like I may have? " Some definitely do!!! Promise | |||
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"Here's a question.... how many men genuinely get a message first, rather than the other way round? I'm honestly not trying to create any hostility.. as it feels like I may have? " Every single conversation since the beginning of 2020 has been started by a woman messaging me because as I said above I genuinely haven't sent a single first contact message in that time. | |||
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"Here's a question.... how many men genuinely get a message first, rather than the other way round? I'm honestly not trying to create any hostility.. as it feels like I may have? I believe we've not yet sent the first message regarding a possible meet, to anyone of any gender. I have through the forums though. " Interesting | |||
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"Here's a question.... how many men genuinely get a message first, rather than the other way round? I'm honestly not trying to create any hostility.. as it feels like I may have? Every single conversation since the beginning of 2020 has been started by a woman messaging me because as I said above I genuinely haven't sent a single first contact message in that time. " | |||
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"Here's a question.... how many men genuinely get a message first, rather than the other way round? I'm honestly not trying to create any hostility.. as it feels like I may have? Some definitely do!!! Promise " Lol really???? | |||
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"Here's a question.... how many men genuinely get a message first, rather than the other way round? I'm honestly not trying to create any hostility.. as it feels like I may have? " Oh that's easy, in my time here I have received three messages from women that have messaged me first. Two were in reference to a forum I'd commented on. One was because she liked what she saw and felt like sending me a message, shame she lived on the other side of the country I've lots of messages from couples but that is almost exclusively the male showing interest in me. | |||
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"Here's a question.... how many men genuinely get a message first, rather than the other way round? I'm honestly not trying to create any hostility.. as it feels like I may have? " Yep …and as previously mentioned my profile is shyte and has no info on it. In fact I’m calling those whose look a bastard | |||
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"Here's a question.... how many men genuinely get a message first, rather than the other way round? I'm honestly not trying to create any hostility.. as it feels like I may have? " Difference is, I only message guys first I actually like. I don't send 100s | |||
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"Unless you are adonis-like and/or under 40, this place is not a great option for hook-ups. Much like other vanilla dating sites or vanilla bars/clubs. The amount of effort you put in to your profile might marginally increase your chances of getting laid but it won't do so proportionally. If you don't like the odds, don't buy a ticket. Or enjoy the site in other ways: looking at the pictures, using forums/chatrooms etc." | |||
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"Unless you are adonis-like and/or under 40, this place is not a great option for hook-ups. Much like other vanilla dating sites or vanilla bars/clubs. The amount of effort you put in to your profile might marginally increase your chances of getting laid but it won't do so proportionally. If you don't like the odds, don't buy a ticket. Or enjoy the site in other ways: looking at the pictures, using forums/chatrooms etc." But haven't you got to be in it, to win it??!! | |||
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" Are the women in charge on here or something? What did I miss? Haha... I guess they are.. I don't know what the exact ratio is, but it feels like it's 10,000 to 1 (Jokes, btw)" I suppose aslong as it stays like that, the whole concept of this site is rendered useless then | |||
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"You okay by the rules... have genuine nice, artistic and decent photos.... a well constructed profile... and conduct yourselves in the forum well. And you private message a lovely lady who ticks all the boxes... asks for a face picture ti be included with your first message (which you do, obligingly).. and conduct your first opening message with decorum, pizzazz, a little bit of cheek but 100% genuity.... For the message to get read and then never replied to. For me, I understand that it's free choice and you just take it on the chin... but the question is, do any of you guys take it to heart? Have any of you felt like you've 'over messaged' that person subsequently? How does the whole experience of going through that whole process for it to get completely ignored make you feel? I just want to hear some stories and tales on the various situations that a lot of guys have probably found themselves in Discuss x I was always told manners cost nothing - so you’ve probably dodged a bullet early on anyway. Also, Are the women in charge on here or something? What did I miss? Manners.... " Do you need some squire!? | |||
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"Unless you are adonis-like and/or under 40, this place is not a great option for hook-ups. Much like other vanilla dating sites or vanilla bars/clubs. The amount of effort you put in to your profile might marginally increase your chances of getting laid but it won't do so proportionally. If you don't like the odds, don't buy a ticket. Or enjoy the site in other ways: looking at the pictures, using forums/chatrooms etc. But haven't you got to be in it, to win it??!! " Undeniably, yes. But only each individual can decide their tolerance for long odds. Some people buy lottery tickets, some don't | |||
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"You okay by the rules... have genuine nice, artistic and decent photos.... a well constructed profile... and conduct yourselves in the forum well. And you private message a lovely lady who ticks all the boxes... asks for a face picture ti be included with your first message (which you do, obligingly).. and conduct your first opening message with decorum, pizzazz, a little bit of cheek but 100% genuity.... For the message to get read and then never replied to. For me, I understand that it's free choice and you just take it on the chin... but the question is, do any of you guys take it to heart? Have any of you felt like you've 'over messaged' that person subsequently? How does the whole experience of going through that whole process for it to get completely ignored make you feel? I just want to hear some stories and tales on the various situations that a lot of guys have probably found themselves in Discuss x I was always told manners cost nothing - so you’ve probably dodged a bullet early on anyway. Also, Are the women in charge on here or something? What did I miss? Manners.... Do you need some squire!?" Nah | |||
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"You okay by the rules... have genuine nice, artistic and decent photos.... a well constructed profile... and conduct yourselves in the forum well. And you private message a lovely lady who ticks all the boxes... asks for a face picture ti be included with your first message (which you do, obligingly).. and conduct your first opening message with decorum, pizzazz, a little bit of cheek but 100% genuity.... For the message to get read and then never replied to. For me, I understand that it's free choice and you just take it on the chin... but the question is, do any of you guys take it to heart? Have any of you felt like you've 'over messaged' that person subsequently? How does the whole experience of going through that whole process for it to get completely ignored make you feel? I just want to hear some stories and tales on the various situations that a lot of guys have probably found themselves in Discuss x I was always told manners cost nothing - so you’ve probably dodged a bullet early on anyway. Also, Are the women in charge on here or something? What did I miss? Manners.... Do you need some squire!? Nah" Thank fuck for that sir! | |||
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"Nobody owes you a response...nobody even owes you a read of your message " Double Standards. If a bloke did it to a women, you’d likely never hear the end of it | |||
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"I've never messaged a guy or couple for that matter while I've been here as a single fem (different when i was here in a couple) in a "i like you" way. I have sometimes messaged through the forum posts but again never as a "i like you" I just don't feel confident enough in myself to do that. " And that is perfectly fine you do you, that I guess is the moral of the story. How are you finding things now 'not in a couple'? | |||
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"Nobody owes you a response...nobody even owes you a read of your message Double Standards. If a bloke did it to a women, you’d likely never hear the end of it" I've had men not respond or read my messages. What's the big deal? They don't owe me anything. | |||
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"Nobody owes you a response...nobody even owes you a read of your message Double Standards. If a bloke did it to a women, you’d likely never hear the end of it I've had men not respond or read my messages. What's the big deal? They don't owe me anything. " No whinging, rare yet somewhat impressive. Suppose you’re right, we owe you nowt | |||
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"I find myself being something of an expert in this field I suppose its the curse/beauty of being online. Theres no need for some to reply as theres not the pressure of being face to face. I imagine if you are a single female being totally bombarded with messages its near impossible to reply to everyone or maybe just feel too overwhelmed to be polite anymore. My regular fwb here has over 450 messages unread and after talking about it with her i no longer take it personally if i dont get a reply I love how guys think every woman on here is bombarded with messages. " Exactly not all of us do | |||
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"I don’t read into it personally. I just say- it’s because you’re ugly, Steve. There’s nothing that can be done about these things except what I do which is to stop sending messages to women and just enjoying the forums and socials. It’s not that deep, women find it hard on here too. I don’t think this is a guy specific issue" I believe this to be the case too... the world is full of dickheads both men and women... and also in this same world, full of beautiful people. I don't read into anything, I'm easy chill | |||
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"Nobody owes you a response...nobody even owes you a read of your message Double Standards. If a bloke did it to a women, you’d likely never hear the end of it I've had men not respond or read my messages. What's the big deal? They don't owe me anything. No whinging, rare yet somewhat impressive. Suppose you’re right, we owe you nowt" Course you don't. | |||
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"Life’s way too short to worry about things that don’t matter. " This . | |||
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"I loose a lot of messages. They disappear down the list when newer messages come through. I have no hope with “silhouette” profile pics, but also sometimes I log in and see the number of Messages and think “nah not today, I’ll just go have some craic in the forums”. Then other days I have the motivation to go and read and reply. It’s quite relentless. And I probably miss loads of lovely people " And those lovely people unfortunately miss you | |||
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"I’m older and wiser now compared to my early days on Fab. These days proactive first messages from me are very rare, and when I do they’re tailored and specific, not generic bobbins. It’s better to let people message you tbf. Not that you’ll ever get an overflowing inbox, but what messages you do get will tend to be quality ones." No truer word said | |||
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"I’m older and wiser now compared to my early days on Fab. These days proactive first messages from me are very rare, and when I do they’re tailored and specific, not generic bobbins. It’s better to let people message you tbf. Not that you’ll ever get an overflowing inbox, but what messages you do get will tend to be quality ones." This kind of how we feel, that it's better for us for someone to approach us. However, if both sides are waiting for the other to make the first move. | |||
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"I used to fire off five messages a day ...when that message box turned yellow it made my day " It's a great feeling, and a rare one for men compared to women.. ngl | |||
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"Again I apologise bud if this is a repeat of an ongoing subject, the forum is a large place Your question gets asked at least once per week. No reply = no thanks. " And he can post it every week if people want to, if it annoys you don't read it. | |||
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"Again I apologise bud if this is a repeat of an ongoing subject, the forum is a large place Your question gets asked at least once per week. No reply = no thanks. And he can post it every week if people want to, if it annoys you don't read it." Preach, teach and freedom of speech | |||
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"Here's a question.... how many men genuinely get a message first, rather than the other way round? I'm honestly not trying to create any hostility.. as it feels like I may have? Every single conversation since the beginning of 2020 has been started by a woman messaging me because as I said above I genuinely haven't sent a single first contact message in that time. " I dont get as many messages as lots of the women on here, but if they've landed in my inbox as a result of a forum thread I'll always read and reply. In fact I rarely respond to messages I've received that aren't through the forums. Why? Because the message has come from the forum its way more likely the sender is interested in something I've said or has a common interest in a game we might be playing, and in many cases we'll have interacted within the forum so have some degree of understanding how the other works. This site is all about finding out how it works best for you and then working it to the maximum benefit. | |||
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"Here's a question.... how many men genuinely get a message first, rather than the other way round? I'm honestly not trying to create any hostility.. as it feels like I may have? Every single conversation since the beginning of 2020 has been started by a woman messaging me because as I said above I genuinely haven't sent a single first contact message in that time. I dont get as many messages as lots of the women on here, but if they've landed in my inbox as a result of a forum thread I'll always read and reply. In fact I rarely respond to messages I've received that aren't through the forums. Why? Because the message has come from the forum its way more likely the sender is interested in something I've said or has a common interest in a game we might be playing, and in many cases we'll have interacted within the forum so have some degree of understanding how the other works. This site is all about finding out how it works best for you and then working it to the maximum benefit." This happens with me, in fact... many from this very conversation Relatable topics help break the ice, and it feels like they're part way to knowing a bit about you already | |||
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"You okay by the rules... have genuine nice, artistic and decent photos.... a well constructed profile... and conduct yourselves in the forum well. And you private message a lovely lady who ticks all the boxes... asks for a face picture ti be included with your first message (which you do, obligingly).. and conduct your first opening message with decorum, pizzazz, a little bit of cheek but 100% genuity.... For the message to get read and then never replied to. For me, I understand that it's free choice and you just take it on the chin... but the question is, do any of you guys take it to heart? Have any of you felt like you've 'over messaged' that person subsequently? How does the whole experience of going through that whole process for it to get completely ignored make you feel? I just want to hear some stories and tales on the various situations that a lot of guys have probably found themselves in Discuss x" Take it the same as I would if chating up a lady in a bar in town. Hurt but if you don't put your self out nothing is going to happen. | |||
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"You okay by the rules... have genuine nice, artistic and decent photos.... a well constructed profile... and conduct yourselves in the forum well. And you private message a lovely lady who ticks all the boxes... asks for a face picture ti be included with your first message (which you do, obligingly).. and conduct your first opening message with decorum, pizzazz, a little bit of cheek but 100% genuity.... For the message to get read and then never replied to. For me, I understand that it's free choice and you just take it on the chin... but the question is, do any of you guys take it to heart? Have any of you felt like you've 'over messaged' that person subsequently? How does the whole experience of going through that whole process for it to get completely ignored make you feel? I just want to hear some stories and tales on the various situations that a lot of guys have probably found themselves in Discuss x" Hey it’s frustrating at first when you get no replies you try and make your message interesting original fun to get completely ghosted, I never over message anyone, I send 1 message if they don’t reply that’s it I move on....but noticed I don’t put as much effort or thought into my messages anymore as 9/10 time it never gets read or it gets mass deleted lol | |||
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"You okay by the rules... have genuine nice, artistic and decent photos.... a well constructed profile... and conduct yourselves in the forum well. And you private message a lovely lady who ticks all the boxes... asks for a face picture ti be included with your first message (which you do, obligingly).. and conduct your first opening message with decorum, pizzazz, a little bit of cheek but 100% genuity.... For the message to get read and then never replied to. For me, I understand that it's free choice and you just take it on the chin... but the question is, do any of you guys take it to heart? Have any of you felt like you've 'over messaged' that person subsequently? How does the whole experience of going through that whole process for it to get completely ignored make you feel? I just want to hear some stories and tales on the various situations that a lot of guys have probably found themselves in Discuss x" What kind of idiot sends a face pic in an opening message? | |||
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"If I receive a nice personal message I reply. If someone appears genuine and they’ve taken the time to read my profile and send me a message that is not copied and pasted I think it’s the least I can do, even if it’s to say I’m not interested but appreciated the message. Manners cost not a penny!" What do you mean by genuine? | |||
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"If I receive a nice personal message I reply. If someone appears genuine and they’ve taken the time to read my profile and send me a message that is not copied and pasted I think it’s the least I can do, even if it’s to say I’m not interested but appreciated the message. Manners cost not a penny! What do you mean by genuine? " So I have tonight received photos of guys that are clearly lifted from Google and some where their dicks have been photoshopped to such an extent that they would die when they got a hard on. There’s also those that only message to say you are fat or ugly. Those messages are not genuine | |||
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"If I receive a nice personal message I reply. If someone appears genuine and they’ve taken the time to read my profile and send me a message that is not copied and pasted I think it’s the least I can do, even if it’s to say I’m not interested but appreciated the message. Manners cost not a penny! What do you mean by genuine? So I have tonight received photos of guys that are clearly lifted from Google and some where their dicks have been photoshopped to such an extent that they would die when they got a hard on. There’s also those that only message to say you are fat or ugly. Those messages are not genuine " Well the first 2 examples fair enough. The last example is genuine though. Nasty and possibly untrue, but genuone nonetheless | |||
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"You okay by the rules... have genuine nice, artistic and decent photos.... a well constructed profile... and conduct yourselves in the forum well. And you private message a lovely lady who ticks all the boxes... asks for a face picture ti be included with your first message (which you do, obligingly).. and conduct your first opening message with decorum, pizzazz, a little bit of cheek but 100% genuity.... For the message to get read and then never replied to. For me, I understand that it's free choice and you just take it on the chin... but the question is, do any of you guys take it to heart? Have any of you felt like you've 'over messaged' that person subsequently? How does the whole experience of going through that whole process for it to get completely ignored make you feel? I just want to hear some stories and tales on the various situations that a lot of guys have probably found themselves in Discuss x What kind of idiot sends a face pic in an opening message? " Why wouldn't you? My face is visible so people know if there is attraction, before messaging... If I don't see one then I don't know if I like the look of someone enough to reply, so I don't. | |||
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"If I receive a nice personal message I reply. If someone appears genuine and they’ve taken the time to read my profile and send me a message that is not copied and pasted I think it’s the least I can do, even if it’s to say I’m not interested but appreciated the message. Manners cost not a penny! What do you mean by genuine? So I have tonight received photos of guys that are clearly lifted from Google and some where their dicks have been photoshopped to such an extent that they would die when they got a hard on. There’s also those that only message to say you are fat or ugly. Those messages are not genuine Well the first 2 examples fair enough. The last example is genuine though. Nasty and possibly untrue, but genuone nonetheless" A genuine person wouldn’t message to just be nasty, would they? | |||
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"If I receive a nice personal message I reply. If someone appears genuine and they’ve taken the time to read my profile and send me a message that is not copied and pasted I think it’s the least I can do, even if it’s to say I’m not interested but appreciated the message. Manners cost not a penny! What do you mean by genuine? So I have tonight received photos of guys that are clearly lifted from Google and some where their dicks have been photoshopped to such an extent that they would die when they got a hard on. There’s also those that only message to say you are fat or ugly. Those messages are not genuine Well the first 2 examples fair enough. The last example is genuine though. Nasty and possibly untrue, but genuone nonetheless A genuine person wouldn’t message to just be nasty, would they?" Of course they would. A genuinely nasty person | |||
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"If I receive a nice personal message I reply. If someone appears genuine and they’ve taken the time to read my profile and send me a message that is not copied and pasted I think it’s the least I can do, even if it’s to say I’m not interested but appreciated the message. Manners cost not a penny! What do you mean by genuine? So I have tonight received photos of guys that are clearly lifted from Google and some where their dicks have been photoshopped to such an extent that they would die when they got a hard on. There’s also those that only message to say you are fat or ugly. Those messages are not genuine Well the first 2 examples fair enough. The last example is genuine though. Nasty and possibly untrue, but genuone nonetheless A genuine person wouldn’t message to just be nasty, would they? Of course they would. A genuinely nasty person" I stand corrected lol x | |||
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"You okay by the rules... have genuine nice, artistic and decent photos.... a well constructed profile... and conduct yourselves in the forum well. And you private message a lovely lady who ticks all the boxes... asks for a face picture ti be included with your first message (which you do, obligingly).. and conduct your first opening message with decorum, pizzazz, a little bit of cheek but 100% genuity.... For the message to get read and then never replied to. For me, I understand that it's free choice and you just take it on the chin... but the question is, do any of you guys take it to heart? Have any of you felt like you've 'over messaged' that person subsequently? How does the whole experience of going through that whole process for it to get completely ignored make you feel? I just want to hear some stories and tales on the various situations that a lot of guys have probably found themselves in Discuss x What kind of idiot sends a face pic in an opening message? Why wouldn't you? My face is visible so people know if there is attraction, before messaging... If I don't see one then I don't know if I like the look of someone enough to reply, so I don't. " Why would i want me face knocking around out there? What if they sent it onto someone, or they recognised me from real life? | |||
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"If I receive a nice personal message I reply. If someone appears genuine and they’ve taken the time to read my profile and send me a message that is not copied and pasted I think it’s the least I can do, even if it’s to say I’m not interested but appreciated the message. Manners cost not a penny! What do you mean by genuine? So I have tonight received photos of guys that are clearly lifted from Google and some where their dicks have been photoshopped to such an extent that they would die when they got a hard on. There’s also those that only message to say you are fat or ugly. Those messages are not genuine Well the first 2 examples fair enough. The last example is genuine though. Nasty and possibly untrue, but genuone nonetheless A genuine person wouldn’t message to just be nasty, would they?" There’s no need to be nasty or personal on her....it’s just sad | |||
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"I get this a lot. I always read the bio fully and try to incorporate what I’ve read in the message to show that I have read it properly. When I first joined fab a few years ago I used to take it personally and wondered if I was just not attractive enough or if my pics were just not good enough or my bio wasn’t right. Now I know how the site is I don’t take it to heart or let it get to me. I do still find it a bit frustrating when they read the message and don’t even check out my profile but I just shrug it off and forget about it. “Each to their own” as they say Also if someone is like that then I think they wouldn’t be right for me anyway so it’s a good thing " They do check your profile, probably before even looking at your message... Most women on here have checked out their settings so know about looking in stealth mode | |||
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"You okay by the rules... have genuine nice, artistic and decent photos.... a well constructed profile... and conduct yourselves in the forum well. And you private message a lovely lady who ticks all the boxes... asks for a face picture ti be included with your first message (which you do, obligingly).. and conduct your first opening message with decorum, pizzazz, a little bit of cheek but 100% genuity.... For the message to get read and then never replied to. For me, I understand that it's free choice and you just take it on the chin... but the question is, do any of you guys take it to heart? Have any of you felt like you've 'over messaged' that person subsequently? How does the whole experience of going through that whole process for it to get completely ignored make you feel? I just want to hear some stories and tales on the various situations that a lot of guys have probably found themselves in Discuss x What kind of idiot sends a face pic in an opening message? Why wouldn't you? My face is visible so people know if there is attraction, before messaging... If I don't see one then I don't know if I like the look of someone enough to reply, so I don't. Why would i want me face knocking around out there? What if they sent it onto someone, or they recognised me from real life? " Why would you assume that kinda stuff? As I told some that messaged me off the back of a forum thread, the other week... I need to see a face because a great body is not what I'm attracted to | |||
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"You okay by the rules... have genuine nice, artistic and decent photos.... a well constructed profile... and conduct yourselves in the forum well. And you private message a lovely lady who ticks all the boxes... asks for a face picture ti be included with your first message (which you do, obligingly).. and conduct your first opening message with decorum, pizzazz, a little bit of cheek but 100% genuity.... For the message to get read and then never replied to. For me, I understand that it's free choice and you just take it on the chin... but the question is, do any of you guys take it to heart? Have any of you felt like you've 'over messaged' that person subsequently? How does the whole experience of going through that whole process for it to get completely ignored make you feel? I just want to hear some stories and tales on the various situations that a lot of guys have probably found themselves in Discuss x What kind of idiot sends a face pic in an opening message? Why wouldn't you? My face is visible so people know if there is attraction, before messaging... If I don't see one then I don't know if I like the look of someone enough to reply, so I don't. Why would i want me face knocking around out there? What if they sent it onto someone, or they recognised me from real life? Why would you assume that kinda stuff? As I told some that messaged me off the back of a forum thread, the other week... I need to see a face because a great body is not what I'm attracted to " Plus, you can have it delete as soon as it's seen | |||
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"I get this a lot. I always read the bio fully and try to incorporate what I’ve read in the message to show that I have read it properly. When I first joined fab a few years ago I used to take it personally and wondered if I was just not attractive enough or if my pics were just not good enough or my bio wasn’t right. Now I know how the site is I don’t take it to heart or let it get to me. I do still find it a bit frustrating when they read the message and don’t even check out my profile but I just shrug it off and forget about it. “Each to their own” as they say Also if someone is like that then I think they wouldn’t be right for me anyway so it’s a good thing " Thats a waste of time. Just do a copy and paste job and bang it out to multiple profiles. Far more economical use of your time | |||
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"Again, to reiterate... I get it. Someone I met up with had over 1000 unread messages, and her profile didn't even have any profile pictures... so we chatted and likewise, I don't take it personally... I know I'm a great guy and I'm happy with that. It's just frustrating I guess that I understand the feeling of being dismissed when not even given the chance to prove yourself. Sometimes you end up searching for a diamond and all you end up with is a bunch of rocks. In your original post you mentioned a lady that 'ticks all the boxes'. Were those your boxes or hers? Even if you think you fit what someone is looking for you may not. Right height? Great. Right age? That's two - yay! She wants a beard? Just don't shave for a month. It says she wants an average sized cock and that's you - awesome! She can't accom so wants you to - and you can! This is sounding promising!! So you message. And get no reply. And wonder why? It's because attraction and interest can't be whittled down to a few generic characteristics. She may just not fancy you for the strangest reason. But that's her choice. Nobody is entitled to 'the chance to prove themselves'. There's no 'equality act' in place in the world of online contact sites and swinging. There's no right to appeal. There's no structured formal interview process that gives all applicants a level playing field to compete on. It may be frustrating. It may be disappointing. You may feel hard done by . But that's not the responsibility of anyone else to deal with. A" This is very true and a very good point if I’m honest | |||
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"Here's a question.... how many men genuinely get a message first, rather than the other way round? I'm honestly not trying to create any hostility.. as it feels like I may have? " I’ve pretty much given up messaging first as ever time I have recently I’ve been accused of being a bloke because women don’t message first… | |||
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"You okay by the rules... have genuine nice, artistic and decent photos.... a well constructed profile... and conduct yourselves in the forum well. And you private message a lovely lady who ticks all the boxes... asks for a face picture ti be included with your first message (which you do, obligingly).. and conduct your first opening message with decorum, pizzazz, a little bit of cheek but 100% genuity.... For the message to get read and then never replied to. For me, I understand that it's free choice and you just take it on the chin... but the question is, do any of you guys take it to heart? Have any of you felt like you've 'over messaged' that person subsequently? How does the whole experience of going through that whole process for it to get completely ignored make you feel? I just want to hear some stories and tales on the various situations that a lot of guys have probably found themselves in Discuss x What kind of idiot sends a face pic in an opening message? Why wouldn't you? My face is visible so people know if there is attraction, before messaging... If I don't see one then I don't know if I like the look of someone enough to reply, so I don't. Why would i want me face knocking around out there? What if they sent it onto someone, or they recognised me from real life? Why would you assume that kinda stuff? As I told some that messaged me off the back of a forum thread, the other week... I need to see a face because a great body is not what I'm attracted to " I wouldnt take the risk. Why would i need to? Plenty of women on this site who dont look for that | |||
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"You okay by the rules... have genuine nice, artistic and decent photos.... a well constructed profile... and conduct yourselves in the forum well. And you private message a lovely lady who ticks all the boxes... asks for a face picture ti be included with your first message (which you do, obligingly).. and conduct your first opening message with decorum, pizzazz, a little bit of cheek but 100% genuity.... For the message to get read and then never replied to. For me, I understand that it's free choice and you just take it on the chin... but the question is, do any of you guys take it to heart? Have any of you felt like you've 'over messaged' that person subsequently? How does the whole experience of going through that whole process for it to get completely ignored make you feel? I just want to hear some stories and tales on the various situations that a lot of guys have probably found themselves in Discuss x What kind of idiot sends a face pic in an opening message? Why wouldn't you? My face is visible so people know if there is attraction, before messaging... If I don't see one then I don't know if I like the look of someone enough to reply, so I don't. Why would i want me face knocking around out there? What if they sent it onto someone, or they recognised me from real life? Why would you assume that kinda stuff? As I told some that messaged me off the back of a forum thread, the other week... I need to see a face because a great body is not what I'm attracted to I wouldnt take the risk. Why would i need to? Plenty of women on this site who dont look for that " Attraction? | |||
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"You okay by the rules... have genuine nice, artistic and decent photos.... a well constructed profile... and conduct yourselves in the forum well. And you private message a lovely lady who ticks all the boxes... asks for a face picture ti be included with your first message (which you do, obligingly).. and conduct your first opening message with decorum, pizzazz, a little bit of cheek but 100% genuity.... For the message to get read and then never replied to. For me, I understand that it's free choice and you just take it on the chin... but the question is, do any of you guys take it to heart? Have any of you felt like you've 'over messaged' that person subsequently? How does the whole experience of going through that whole process for it to get completely ignored make you feel? I just want to hear some stories and tales on the various situations that a lot of guys have probably found themselves in Discuss x What kind of idiot sends a face pic in an opening message? Why wouldn't you? My face is visible so people know if there is attraction, before messaging... If I don't see one then I don't know if I like the look of someone enough to reply, so I don't. Why would i want me face knocking around out there? What if they sent it onto someone, or they recognised me from real life? Why would you assume that kinda stuff? As I told some that messaged me off the back of a forum thread, the other week... I need to see a face because a great body is not what I'm attracted to I wouldnt take the risk. Why would i need to? Plenty of women on this site who dont look for that Attraction? " No i mean plenty of women on here who dont look for a face pic straight from the off | |||
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"Here's a question.... how many men genuinely get a message first, rather than the other way round? I'm honestly not trying to create any hostility.. as it feels like I may have? I’ve pretty much given up messaging first as ever time I have recently I’ve been accused of being a bloke because women don’t message first… " I can confidently say I’ve never been messaged first by anyone ever | |||
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"You okay by the rules... have genuine nice, artistic and decent photos.... a well constructed profile... and conduct yourselves in the forum well. And you private message a lovely lady who ticks all the boxes... asks for a face picture ti be included with your first message (which you do, obligingly).. and conduct your first opening message with decorum, pizzazz, a little bit of cheek but 100% genuity.... For the message to get read and then never replied to. For me, I understand that it's free choice and you just take it on the chin... but the question is, do any of you guys take it to heart? Have any of you felt like you've 'over messaged' that person subsequently? How does the whole experience of going through that whole process for it to get completely ignored make you feel? I just want to hear some stories and tales on the various situations that a lot of guys have probably found themselves in Discuss x" I sometimes wonder if my message got lost amongst the 600 others or buried in a full mailbox..? I’ve sometimes wondered if they’re actually as genuine as you might’ve thought..? Ultimately it is what it is, nothing to get the arse about, nothing to get wound up about, there 1000’s of interesting sexy people on here to connect with so just move on… | |||
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"Here's a question.... how many men genuinely get a message first, rather than the other way round? I'm honestly not trying to create any hostility.. as it feels like I may have? I’ve pretty much given up messaging first as ever time I have recently I’ve been accused of being a bloke because women don’t message first… " Yep, or seem absolutely puzzled as to why you would be messaging first... Or at all? | |||
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"You okay by the rules... have genuine nice, artistic and decent photos.... a well constructed profile... and conduct yourselves in the forum well. And you private message a lovely lady who ticks all the boxes... asks for a face picture ti be included with your first message (which you do, obligingly).. and conduct your first opening message with decorum, pizzazz, a little bit of cheek but 100% genuity.... For the message to get read and then never replied to. For me, I understand that it's free choice and you just take it on the chin... but the question is, do any of you guys take it to heart? Have any of you felt like you've 'over messaged' that person subsequently? How does the whole experience of going through that whole process for it to get completely ignored make you feel? I just want to hear some stories and tales on the various situations that a lot of guys have probably found themselves in Discuss x" It's shit to get no reply. A human being would understand that. There are many reasons why women don't reply. | |||
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"If I receive a nice personal message I reply. If someone appears genuine and they’ve taken the time to read my profile and send me a message that is not copied and pasted I think it’s the least I can do, even if it’s to say I’m not interested but appreciated the message. Manners cost not a penny!" Absolutely this I can't recommend this enough.... as you said, manners cost nothing especially after someone has taken the time to read and construct a message properly and with great care and thought. | |||
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"If I receive a nice personal message I reply. If someone appears genuine and they’ve taken the time to read my profile and send me a message that is not copied and pasted I think it’s the least I can do, even if it’s to say I’m not interested but appreciated the message. Manners cost not a penny! Absolutely this I can't recommend this enough.... as you said, manners cost nothing especially after someone has taken the time to read and construct a message properly and with great care and thought. " There's another common reason many single women and couples don't reply. If someone replies just to say 'thanks, but no thanks' and then later decides to apply the filter for incoming messages from men - anyone they've sent that 'manners cost nothing' message to will still be able to contact them again. Many have found through experience it's just not worth the hassle. It's why some profiles (us included) will either add a block to anyone who contacts us that we know we'll never be interested in, or will even proactively block when we're browsing for potential meets. The site gives many useful tools. The block button is one, the delete button another. The 'manners' argument onky benefits one party and since it's the one that the recipient isn't interested in then it's not great 'manners' to expect them to respond. 'Manners' is a rwo way street. A | |||
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"The women on here never reply. Granted they are probably get a lot of messages but still no replies when like you say you put in the effort is rude" Proud to be rude!! | |||
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"Here's a question.... how many men genuinely get a message first, rather than the other way round? I'm honestly not trying to create any hostility.. as it feels like I may have? " I’ve only ever met women for when they’ve messaged first. I genuinely do not send messages looking any more. Unless I’m really in a good mood. | |||
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"Here's a question.... how many men genuinely get a message first, rather than the other way round? I'm honestly not trying to create any hostility.. as it feels like I may have? I’ve only ever met women for when they’ve messaged first. I genuinely do not send messages looking any more. Unless I’m really in a good mood. " Great pics | |||
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"Here's a question.... how many men genuinely get a message first, rather than the other way round? I'm honestly not trying to create any hostility.. as it feels like I may have? I’ve only ever met women for when they’ve messaged first. I genuinely do not send messages looking any more. Unless I’m really in a good mood. Great pics " Oooft. I’d message first for you. | |||
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"I'm loving the responses by the way guys, thank you it's interesting to see so many diverse opinions. Again, I think some people are thinking that the way I've worded it is another typical 'rant' thread, which it's not... it is just a hypothetical average approach to what I feel most men probably go through on here, and how it makes you feel and how you respond and react to it People's natural reaction is to eye roll but it's easy to dismiss mens feelings. If it was a woman posting this, people would be more sympathetic. It's shit being a guy on here, I don't envy you at all. But when it comes to threads, post what you like don't worry about people trying to shut you down." Some of the reactions here are comical. People complain that others don't read profiles, and complain threads are repeated. OP, then posts a completely different tilt on a subject, not a rant but a discussion on how Men may feel. People don't read properly and post their usual repeated comments (facepalm). This could have been a very good thread and maybe help to express to others the difficulties. Mental health is a real thing, and yes if this site is creating issues then step away, however is recognising the issue in the first place. Before anyone responds with that. Nice attempt at a good thread OP, sorry to say but old habits die hard. | |||
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"If I receive a nice personal message I reply. If someone appears genuine and they’ve taken the time to read my profile and send me a message that is not copied and pasted I think it’s the least I can do, even if it’s to say I’m not interested but appreciated the message. Manners cost not a penny! Absolutely this I can't recommend this enough.... as you said, manners cost nothing especially after someone has taken the time to read and construct a message properly and with great care and thought. " That’s got nothing to do with manners… A no reply is the same answer as a no thank you. Great so you’ve took the time to write a message to someone, and now you feel you are entitled to a message back… If you wanted to talk manners then you’d understand nobody owes you anything. Especially when it’s in the site FAQs regarding what a no reply means. Usually when people receive a message back saying not for me, what usually follows is “but why” and potential abuse. | |||
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"I'm loving the responses by the way guys, thank you it's interesting to see so many diverse opinions. Again, I think some people are thinking that the way I've worded it is another typical 'rant' thread, which it's not... it is just a hypothetical average approach to what I feel most men probably go through on here, and how it makes you feel and how you respond and react to it People's natural reaction is to eye roll but it's easy to dismiss mens feelings. If it was a woman posting this, people would be more sympathetic. It's shit being a guy on here, I don't envy you at all. But when it comes to threads, post what you like don't worry about people trying to shut you down. Some of the reactions here are comical. People complain that others don't read profiles, and complain threads are repeated. OP, then posts a completely different tilt on a subject, not a rant but a discussion on how Men may feel. People don't read properly and post their usual repeated comments (facepalm). This could have been a very good thread and maybe help to express to others the difficulties. Mental health is a real thing, and yes if this site is creating issues then step away, however is recognising the issue in the first place. Before anyone responds with that. Nice attempt at a good thread OP, sorry to say but old habits die hard. " Yes it's really sad how mens feelings are completely dismissed. Yes no one owes you a reply but you're definitely entitled to have feelings of rejection or other things and it's certainly great to discuss it here in a constructive way. People would definitely be far more understanding if the genders were reversed. | |||
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"Interesting... With all due respect OP, you added me as a friend after making one comment to me in the forums, I accepted yet we've never communicated....Got to be in it to win it, just saying " How come you've not messaged him? | |||
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