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If farmers wrote romance novels...
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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She took her to the bed and laid her on her back.... she was excited and she felt something long and hard pressing against her leg, it was the size of a marrow..... She thought her luck was in...
but it was a marrow ... vegetable bed... bloody farmers. |
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By *ooBulMan
over a year ago
Missin’ Yo’ Kissin’ |
"I drove my tractor through your haystack last night (ooh aah ooh aah),
I threw me pitchfork at your dog to keep quiet (ooh aah ooh aah),
Now something's telling me,
That you'm avoiding me,
Come on now darling you've got something I need,
Cuz I" ......   |
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By *eisty LadyWoman
over a year ago
Count Your Blessings Cottage, Gratitude Grove |
""I drove my tractor through your haystack last night (ooh aah ooh aah),
I threw me pitchfork at your dog to keep quiet (ooh aah ooh aah),
Now something's telling me,
That you'm avoiding me,
Come on now darling you've got something I need,
Cuz I" ...... "
…
It’d have to have pitchforks, haystacks and checkered shirts in  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Her fine milky breasts were enough to satisfy a thousand people, but the stream of shit between her cheeks would put them off.
Parlour duty always sucks. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Currently working on an adult themed novel, set in a rural community. Thinking of calling it Fifty Sheds of Hay.
"
Spend all the time getting hay out of ass foof
 |
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After feeding all the animals in sub zero temperatures he went to the barn to find Nancy what looked like rope play, he became aroused and thought his luck was in only to get closer and see she had tripped over a haynet and had fallen flat on her face.... |
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Dora resisted trying desperately to loosen his hold on her. He knew she couldn't escape and keeping his grip firm he reached one hand across her and began to massage in a way he knew would bring her sweet release... with one twist and a kick Dora sent the bucket flying, knocking Jeremy to the barn floor .. He'd always hated this one particular cow! |
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She followed me into the byre and showed her up into the crush.
Her neck was clamped and I read her eartags to make sure she was as the paperwork says. Not an import so no blood tests required.
Right fertile wee heifer ready for the bull. Giddy up there girl... I hit my ead on the bar accross the crush...
Woke up in ospital a week later with me balls trampled off me. 
Moral of the story... let the farm hand help ya get the job done. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A tory MP was caught watching porn in the house of commons last year. (Twice)
Initially said he was trying to look at tractors...not sure what you put into Google for that result lol. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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She knelt before me on the shed floor and tugged gently at first, then a little harder until it came. I moaned with an pleasure. Now for the other boot... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Daisy took a sharp intake of breath and rose to her tiptoes as Dan entered her swiftly with little warning, those arm length disposable gloves were always cold...and he was gone right to the shoulder!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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After throwing herself naked onto the hay, she gasped with surprise at the 4 pricks entering her .... the Farm hand smiled down on her nakedness with glee "yay, you found the pitchfork" |
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