I'm heading into the shower very shortly. I'm gonna shave my legs and everything (yes, even my hairy wookie arse)
I want you to give it to me.
Shower music of course!
What shall I blast whilst getting all wet?
Create me a playlist |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Then a bit of Fleetwood Mac
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Is it long? I'll never get shaved if it's an average length song  "
Full length Rappers Delight, 18 minutes. That long enough to trim your hedge? 
Winston |
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Remember my patented arsehole shaving technique m’lady: stand with one leg up on the side of the bath and pull the corresponding buttock outwards; This gives one easier razor access to one’s leather bagel  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Music aside, the big question is are you planning all this shaving because you're fed up with being hairy or is there someone you want to be smooth for? 
Mr |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Remember my patented arsehole shaving technique m’lady: stand with one leg up on the side of the bath and pull the corresponding buttock outwards; This gives one easier razor access to one’s leather bagel "
But how do you get rid of the mohican down inside the bumhole valley?  |
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OK I'm out.
I still have a wookie arse but my legs are done.
So I guess if you just saw my arse and legs it could pass for the back of a man with no neck and short hairs head and arms.
I don't have a bath, just a tiny shower tray so not able to lift a leg and rest it on the bath.
My shower is also on a timer so I don't fall and drown in the whole quarter of an inch shower tray (assuming my mountain of hair blocks the hole preventing the water using the drain)
So yeah, shaved legs, hairy arse. Best not sit on my fleece throw bare bummed, I might get stuck to it. |
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"Music aside, the big question is are you planning all this shaving because you're fed up with being hairy or is there someone you want to be smooth for?
Mr"
Oh gawd no, just wanted to feel fresh and like I give a shit about myself ya know? It doesn't happen often these days but when it does, I'm glad I do it.
I do need a new razor blade tho. Fucking hellfire |
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"Music aside, the big question is are you planning all this shaving because you're fed up with being hairy or is there someone you want to be smooth for?
Mr
Oh gawd no, just wanted to feel fresh and like I give a shit about myself ya know? It doesn't happen often these days but when it does, I'm glad I do it.
I do need a new razor blade tho. Fucking hellfire "
I say that now, but come the morning I'll be prickly and wonder why the fuck I bothered.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Music aside, the big question is are you planning all this shaving because you're fed up with being hairy or is there someone you want to be smooth for?
Mr
Oh gawd no, just wanted to feel fresh and like I give a shit about myself ya know? It doesn't happen often these days but when it does, I'm glad I do it.
I do need a new razor blade tho. Fucking hellfire
I say that now, but come the morning I'll be prickly and wonder why the fuck I bothered. "
You bothered because you’re worth it |
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"Remember my patented arsehole shaving technique m’lady: stand with one leg up on the side of the bath and pull the corresponding buttock outwards; This gives one easier razor access to one’s leather bagel
But how do you get rid of the mohican down inside the bumhole valley? "
That is a good question; The bisons’ mane is indeed a tricky area to shave and the inability to do so causes great anxiety and misery to so many people around the world.
Luckily, after years of experimentation however, I can now exclusively reveal my new, patented technique
Parting one’s buttocks in my previously stated manner, one should slalom the razor over and down into the hairy valley in a manner not dissimilar to riding a BMX bike or else a skateboard down and up one of those special ramps as are used in such competitions.
The result: a meticulously smooth crack that will be the talk of any dinner party or social gathering
 |
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"Music aside, the big question is are you planning all this shaving because you're fed up with being hairy or is there someone you want to be smooth for?
Mr
Oh gawd no, just wanted to feel fresh and like I give a shit about myself ya know? It doesn't happen often these days but when it does, I'm glad I do it.
I do need a new razor blade tho. Fucking hellfire
I say that now, but come the morning I'll be prickly and wonder why the fuck I bothered.
You bothered because you’re worth it"
Funny old game innit. I'm more than forthright in saying to other people "please don't treat me that way, I'm worth far more than that" yet I rarely pull myself up on the bullshit way I treat myself and just accept it. |
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"Remember my patented arsehole shaving technique m’lady: stand with one leg up on the side of the bath and pull the corresponding buttock outwards; This gives one easier razor access to one’s leather bagel
But how do you get rid of the mohican down inside the bumhole valley?
That is a good question; The bisons’ mane is indeed a tricky area to shave and the inability to do so causes great anxiety and misery to so many people around the world.
Luckily, after years of experimentation however, I can now exclusively reveal my new, patented technique
Parting one’s buttocks in my previously stated manner, one should slalom the razor over and down into the hairy valley in a manner not dissimilar to riding a BMX bike or else a skateboard down and up one of those special ramps as are used in such competitions.
The result: a meticulously smooth crack that will be the talk of any dinner party or social gathering
"
You can do mine for me. Just mind the grapes. |
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"Remember my patented arsehole shaving technique m’lady: stand with one leg up on the side of the bath and pull the corresponding buttock outwards; This gives one easier razor access to one’s leather bagel
But how do you get rid of the mohican down inside the bumhole valley?
That is a good question; The bisons’ mane is indeed a tricky area to shave and the inability to do so causes great anxiety and misery to so many people around the world.
Luckily, after years of experimentation however, I can now exclusively reveal my new, patented technique
Parting one’s buttocks in my previously stated manner, one should slalom the razor over and down into the hairy valley in a manner not dissimilar to riding a BMX bike or else a skateboard down and up one of those special ramps as are used in such competitions.
The result: a meticulously smooth crack that will be the talk of any dinner party or social gathering
You can do mine for me. Just mind the grapes."
I’ll do my very best not to nick them m’lady; I even have a spoon here to gently lift them out of the way whilst my razor does it’s magic  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Music aside, the big question is are you planning all this shaving because you're fed up with being hairy or is there someone you want to be smooth for?
Mr
Oh gawd no, just wanted to feel fresh and like I give a shit about myself ya know? It doesn't happen often these days but when it does, I'm glad I do it.
I do need a new razor blade tho. Fucking hellfire "
Well I hope it worked and you're not too stubbly in the morning.
Mr |
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"Music aside, the big question is are you planning all this shaving because you're fed up with being hairy or is there someone you want to be smooth for?
Mr
Oh gawd no, just wanted to feel fresh and like I give a shit about myself ya know? It doesn't happen often these days but when it does, I'm glad I do it.
I do need a new razor blade tho. Fucking hellfire
Well I hope it worked and you're not too stubbly in the morning.
Mr"
I'll be just right to light a match off  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Music aside, the big question is are you planning all this shaving because you're fed up with being hairy or is there someone you want to be smooth for?
Mr
Oh gawd no, just wanted to feel fresh and like I give a shit about myself ya know? It doesn't happen often these days but when it does, I'm glad I do it.
I do need a new razor blade tho. Fucking hellfire
Well I hope it worked and you're not too stubbly in the morning.
Mr
I'll be just right to light a match off "
Be careful around those offcuts. lots of bushfires lately.. |
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Wash And Go...
