FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Cheats never prosper
Cheats never prosper
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I'm seeing more and more posts from people openly cheating.
I'm intrigued - is it really worth the hassle or would you be better off just going it alone?
It sounds like a lot of hard work and stress maintaining a double life. |
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"Never judge a man until you’ve walked in his shoes "
Never judge a man unless you’re at least a QC appointed by the Bar to the Privy Counsel. 
I’m sure my knowledge of the judiciary can be challenged, it was just a lame joke.  |
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By *harpDressed ManMan
over a year ago
Here occasionally, but mostly somewhere else |
"
I'm intrigued - is it really worth the hassle or would you be better off just going it alone?"
Different people will be in different situations - mortgages, kids, their perception of the relationship, etc
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm all for these threads! That way I can stalk my way through them and block 'em all  
LvM
Same!
You missed me"
Lol! I tend to just block the ones I could accidentally meet. |
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I've met women who don't want their partners too know. I don't judge as I have no idea what is the reason. And yes shock horror women who are in a gay relationship cheat too with men and that's from 1st hand experience.
Bottom line if your reason for playing away from home is that you love your partner but there's no sexual relationship so you do like being with them and happy in all other aspects of life which to be honest what % of a relationship is sex. There's alot more to it then sex so say 10% is sexual and the 90% is being together. Maybe we should think that meeting for sex only is not so bad. Personally the issues I see is when the sex becomes more emotional then for me that's definitely cheating because its left the boundaries of just sex. Anyway I'm off to get popcorn as I'm about to get someone react to my ramblings |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I personally don't cheat, never have and never will. But does that mean I'll beat someone with a moral stick who does? No. We are all adults who make our own choices in life and we never know what's going on in someone's relationship. To judge cheating as a whole is naive and unrealistic.
Anyone who open declares they are on here are asking to be judged. They can't moan about being bit when they've thrown theirselves to the wolves. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"How do you know they never prosper? I’m sure you only hear about the ones who’ve been caught out. I always think that when I see that saying. Not true at all really. "
It's just a title. More of a grab to start conversation |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I personally don't cheat, never have and never will. But does that mean I'll beat someone with a moral stick who does? No. We are all adults who make our own choices in life and we never know what's going on in someone's relationship. To judge cheating as a whole is naive and unrealistic.
Anyone who open declares they are on here are asking to be judged. They can't moan about being bit when they've thrown theirselves to the wolves. "
I agree with this. It’s rarely as simple as it seems.
I’m not condoning cheating, but are we all whiter than white? |
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"I'm seeing more and more posts from people openly cheating.
I'm intrigued - is it really worth the hassle or would you be better off just going it alone?
It sounds like a lot of hard work and stress maintaining a double life."
All is not always as it seems. The real cheaters tend to keep quiet. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"How do you know they never prosper? I’m sure you only hear about the ones who’ve been caught out. I always think that when I see that saying. Not true at all really. "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've met women who don't want their partners too know. I don't judge as I have no idea what is the reason. And yes shock horror women who are in a gay relationship cheat too with men and that's from 1st hand experience.
Bottom line if your reason for playing away from home is that you love your partner but there's no sexual relationship so you do like being with them and happy in all other aspects of life which to be honest what % of a relationship is sex. There's alot more to it then sex so say 10% is sexual and the 90% is being together. Maybe we should think that meeting for sex only is not so bad. Personally the issues I see is when the sex becomes more emotional then for me that's definitely cheating because its left the boundaries of just sex. Anyway I'm off to get popcorn as I'm about to get someone react to my ramblings "
I actually agree with you. Relationships are complicated so I don’t judge. However, I wouldn’t knowingly meet a married man simply because I wouldn’t want to get involved / have wife knocking on my door as she’s found out. |
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"I'm seeing more and more posts from people openly cheating.
I'm intrigued - is it really worth the hassle or would you be better off just going it alone?
It sounds like a lot of hard work and stress maintaining a double life."
People’s reasons are their own. It’s entirely possible to deeply love someone and yet have a woefully unfulfilling sex life that hasn’t improved despite great efforts being made.
There are many circumstances that might lead people to feel it’s the best choice for them and I don’t think they need to justify or explain it, even if it’s not what you or I might do.
Live and let live.
Ps, not saying you’re not — just expressing my perspective. |
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"I think the ones who don't mention it and quietly go about their business probably do okay
I let folk know to be open with them it’s not fair on them really"
Also not fair on their partners that they are cheating on.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's a problem with our culture. I think monogamy for our species, is probably relatively new. In the entire timeline of our species existence anyway.
Realistically, we shouldn't be so hung up on sex but we are, and we're conditioned this way from birth.
We're a strange bunch, like, we don't mind our partners going to work everyday spending the majority of their lives with other people who they become extremely attached to build connections that last a life time. But we lose our minds if the same person spends 20 minutes with somebody they might never meet again?
We're so weird. |
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"I think the ones who don't mention it and quietly go about their business probably do okay
I let folk know to be open with them it’s not fair on them really
Also not fair on their partners that they are cheating on...."
Took the words right out of my mouth.. |
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"It's a problem with our culture. I think monogamy for our species, is probably relatively new. In the entire timeline of our species existence anyway.
Realistically, we shouldn't be so hung up on sex but we are, and we're conditioned this way from birth.
We're a strange bunch, like, we don't mind our partners going to work everyday spending the majority of their lives with other people who they become extremely attached to build connections that last a life time. But we lose our minds if the same person spends 20 minutes with somebody they might never meet again?
We're so weird. "
I don't think it's strange to be upset if you enter a relationship under certain terms ie the assumption that it will be monogamous then discover that your partner has decided to change those terms without running it past you.
The default is monogamy if one partner either never intends to be monogamous or changes their mind they should say so. In my opinion. |
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"I've met women who don't want their partners too know. I don't judge as I have no idea what is the reason. And yes shock horror women who are in a gay relationship cheat too with men and that's from 1st hand experience.
Bottom line if your reason for playing away from home is that you love your partner but there's no sexual relationship so you do like being with them and happy in all other aspects of life which to be honest what % of a relationship is sex. There's alot more to it then sex so say 10% is sexual and the 90% is being together. Maybe we should think that meeting for sex only is not so bad. Personally the issues I see is when the sex becomes more emotional then for me that's definitely cheating because its left the boundaries of just sex. Anyway I'm off to get popcorn as I'm about to get someone react to my ramblings
I actually agree with you. Relationships are complicated so I don’t judge. However, I wouldn’t knowingly meet a married man simply because I wouldn’t want to get involved / have wife knocking on my door as she’s found out. "
I had an awkward meeting once at a ladies house she told me it was safe to come around and she had a couples profile unfortunately her husband was unaware of the profile and came home early!! She made me pose as a carpet salesperson measuring up the lounge carpet!  to say we never met again goes without saying  |
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"I've met women who don't want their partners too know. I don't judge as I have no idea what is the reason. And yes shock horror women who are in a gay relationship cheat too with men and that's from 1st hand experience.
Bottom line if your reason for playing away from home is that you love your partner but there's no sexual relationship so you do like being with them and happy in all other aspects of life which to be honest what % of a relationship is sex. There's alot more to it then sex so say 10% is sexual and the 90% is being together. Maybe we should think that meeting for sex only is not so bad. Personally the issues I see is when the sex becomes more emotional then for me that's definitely cheating because its left the boundaries of just sex. Anyway I'm off to get popcorn as I'm about to get someone react to my ramblings
I actually agree with you. Relationships are complicated so I don’t judge. However, I wouldn’t knowingly meet a married man simply because I wouldn’t want to get involved / have wife knocking on my door as she’s found out.
I had an awkward meeting once at a ladies house she told me it was safe to come around and she had a couples profile unfortunately her husband was unaware of the profile and came home early!! She made me pose as a carpet salesperson measuring up the lounge carpet! to say we never met again goes without saying "
Blimey ! What did you use as a ruler?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
I don't think it's strange to be upset if you enter a relationship under certain terms ie the assumption that it will be monogamous then discover that your partner has decided to change those terms without running it past you."
Oh yeah of course, I'm not saying cheat is okay, that isn't my point. More, why do we even enter these agreements? Who does it actually benefit?
"The default is monogamy if one partner either never intends to be monogamous or changes their mind they should say so. In my opinion."
I agree, if you don't want to be monogamous just out of respect for the person you love, you should say. |
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Live and let live:
Personally I would rather leave a relationship than cheat on someone I was supposed to love/be in love with.
All fun and games until the cheated on partner finds out and you leave them absolutely devastated.
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"
I don't think it's strange to be upset if you enter a relationship under certain terms ie the assumption that it will be monogamous then discover that your partner has decided to change those terms without running it past you.
Oh yeah of course, I'm not saying cheat is okay, that isn't my point. More, why do we even enter these agreements? Who does it actually benefit?
The default is monogamy if one partner either never intends to be monogamous or changes their mind they should say so. In my opinion.
I agree, if you don't want to be monogamous just out of respect for the person you love, you should say. "
Some people actually want and prefer monogamy it benefits them. I'm sure you know theory around the origins of monogamous relationships and the perceived benefits.
I really wish we lived in a world where people discussed the kind of relationship they wanted before they got too far down the line and continued to discuss without fear throughout |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Live and let live:
Personally I would rather leave a relationship than cheat on someone I was supposed to love/be in love with.
All fun and games until the cheated on partner finds out and you leave them absolutely devastated.
"
Or ruin a family with kids just for sex? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've met women who don't want their partners too know. I don't judge as I have no idea what is the reason. And yes shock horror women who are in a gay relationship cheat too with men and that's from 1st hand experience.
Bottom line if your reason for playing away from home is that you love your partner but there's no sexual relationship so you do like being with them and happy in all other aspects of life which to be honest what % of a relationship is sex. There's alot more to it then sex so say 10% is sexual and the 90% is being together. Maybe we should think that meeting for sex only is not so bad. Personally the issues I see is when the sex becomes more emotional then for me that's definitely cheating because its left the boundaries of just sex. Anyway I'm off to get popcorn as I'm about to get someone react to my ramblings
I actually agree with you. Relationships are complicated so I don’t judge. However, I wouldn’t knowingly meet a married man simply because I wouldn’t want to get involved / have wife knocking on my door as she’s found out.
I had an awkward meeting once at a ladies house she told me it was safe to come around and she had a couples profile unfortunately her husband was unaware of the profile and came home early!! She made me pose as a carpet salesperson measuring up the lounge carpet! to say we never met again goes without saying "
Oh dear and yes this is what I’d want to avoid. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
I really wish we lived in a world where people discussed the kind of relationship they wanted before they got too far down the line and continued to discuss without fear throughout "
Me to, a lot. I think there are a lot of unhappy people because they don't feel they can be open with who they are and what they want.
I'm not saying monogamy is wrong or forced, there are 100% people who are happy and want that. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Live and let live:
Personally I would rather leave a relationship than cheat on someone I was supposed to love/be in love with.
All fun and games until the cheated on partner finds out and you leave them absolutely devastated.
"
100%
Lying to somebody who has given you their trust, their heart, is unforgivable. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I know the background of a few people who cheat. It's rarely as black and white as it's made out to be, so I don't judge but also don't sleep with them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I would find cheating so stressful, luckily my wife and I have a very flirty, open relationship. We are always pointing out people we fancy. It makes life more fun and relaxed."
We do the same - we enjoy the honesty and we also rib each other sometimes on each other choices all part of the fun |
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"I'm all for these threads! That way I can stalk my way through them and block 'em all
LvM
Same!
You missed me
Lol! I tend to just block the ones I could accidentally meet."
So what about a unaccidental meet then? An arranged one ( worth a try) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's a problem with our culture. I think monogamy for our species, is probably relatively new. In the entire timeline of our species existence anyway.
Realistically, we shouldn't be so hung up on sex but we are, and we're conditioned this way from birth.
We're a strange bunch, like, we don't mind our partners going to work everyday spending the majority of their lives with other people who they become extremely attached to build connections that last a life time. But we lose our minds if the same person spends 20 minutes with somebody they might never meet again?
We're so weird. "
Working with people is the same as fucking strangers?
Every day's a school day. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Our most recent prime minister is fairly positive proof that cheats do, in fact, prosper.
The one who just got forced to resign? "
Not because he's a cheater. MPs didn't give a toss about that. |
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"Our most recent prime minister is fairly positive proof that cheats do, in fact, prosper.
The one who just got forced to resign? "
With a bright future of "consultancy" and sizeable salaries for sitting on boards alongside his continuing career as an MP, as well as counting all the shiny pound coins pouring into his pockets from manipulating economic policy to keep his personal wealth increasing and the side benefits of awarding peerages to Russian agents, a hefty Prime Minister's pension and a severance package large enough to buy a decent sized home that he can just blow on and prostitutes and whichever younger woman he's going to abandon his latest wife and children for?
Yes, that one. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's a problem with our culture. I think monogamy for our species, is probably relatively new. In the entire timeline of our species existence anyway.
Realistically, we shouldn't be so hung up on sex but we are, and we're conditioned this way from birth.
We're a strange bunch, like, we don't mind our partners going to work everyday spending the majority of their lives with other people who they become extremely attached to build connections that last a life time. But we lose our minds if the same person spends 20 minutes with somebody they might never meet again?
We're so weird. "
Tell us you're high without telling us you're high |
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"It's a problem with our culture. I think monogamy for our species, is probably relatively new. In the entire timeline of our species existence anyway.
Realistically, we shouldn't be so hung up on sex but we are, and we're conditioned this way from birth.
We're a strange bunch, like, we don't mind our partners going to work everyday spending the majority of their lives with other people who they become extremely attached to build connections that last a life time. But we lose our minds if the same person spends 20 minutes with somebody they might never meet again?
We're so weird.
Tell us you're high without telling us you're high"
I think this is illustrating that people are happy for their partner to have emotional connection with other people but not sexual. Infidelity for a lot of people is purely physical.
Personally I'd be just as hurt, if not more by a romantic affair |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's a problem with our culture. I think monogamy for our species, is probably relatively new. In the entire timeline of our species existence anyway.
Realistically, we shouldn't be so hung up on sex but we are, and we're conditioned this way from birth.
We're a strange bunch, like, we don't mind our partners going to work everyday spending the majority of their lives with other people who they become extremely attached to build connections that last a life time. But we lose our minds if the same person spends 20 minutes with somebody they might never meet again?
We're so weird.
Tell us you're high without telling us you're high
I think this is illustrating that people are happy for their partner to have emotional connection with other people but not sexual. Infidelity for a lot of people is purely physical.
Personally I'd be just as hurt, if not more by a romantic affair "
You'd be more hurt if your partner made a friend at work than if they had sex with someone else? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Although cheating isn't something I would do, nor would I knowingly meet someone who is cheating, there are plenty of other stuff I do do that is morally wrong, that others could judge me for. So I don't judge.
However I disagree that cheaters don't prosper. Many do. |
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At the end of the day it's up to each and everyone of us if we would cheat or not! I personally wouldn't! Nor would I meet someone who is cheating! I get that it's their choice but won't help them do it! Have had many a atattched man on here say why not meet it's me that's cheating not u! They really don't get that by involving others has an affect on them as well! I wouldn't want to shit on another woman! Had it done to me not nice! X |
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My wife and I are Ethically Non Monogamous and don’t knowingly assist others to cheat. We try not to judge those who do we just don’t agree with it so we actively avoid anyone whose other half is not aware and in agreement.
The ones who openly advertise that they are cheating are the ones more likely to be caught doing so, it seems to be a risk that they want to take so they only have themselves to blame when things go pear shaped.
Those of us who don’t agree with cheating are not going to change their minds, they are going to go ahead and do it anyway so all we can realistically do is block them and not meet them. There are those however who have no problem with meeting people who are cheating so there is a market for them out there. |
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"Ops . Apparently cheating on your vows doesn't count. According to the forum police otherwise they wouldn't be on here. They do like to judge but not be judged. I find this very strange.  "
What vows am I cheating on ? |
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Your marriage vows if your married. But I'm not judging. I leave all that to the forum police. What other people do is up to them and not anyone else if you don't want to meet them don't but don't make a song and dance about it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Surely we should not judge others and encourage them to be honest. That way it enables people to make an informed choice about whether to meet or not. We can all have an opinion but at the end of the day it is up to people to decide what is right for them. |
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By *viatrixWoman
over a year ago
Redhill |
"Wow don't you just love the forum police. Its nothing to do with you what other people do .they have there reasons to be here. Get on with your own life . "
And here I was, wondering why my life is so sh*t and I don’t prosper… of course, it’s because of the forum’s moral police curse! **NOT** LOL |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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none of my buisness what others do i just look after me and hubs and family as someone has already said your not in there shoes so you really cant judge ...
also no one likes a white knight / cock blocker people really do need to take care of themselves and not worry about how others behave .... well unless they have a axe in hand maybe .... |
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"I never ask anyone about their marital status, none of my business.
Unless someone tells you they have a partner, how do you know they are cheating?"
I would ask any potential meet and hope they would b honest? X |
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"I never ask anyone about their marital status, none of my business.
Unless someone tells you they have a partner, how do you know they are cheating?"
I always ask and there are often some clues if someone is attached . |
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"I never ask anyone about their marital status, none of my business.
Unless someone tells you they have a partner, how do you know they are cheating?
I always ask and there are often some clues if someone is attached ."
One guy we met for coffee jumped every time the door opened lol. Poor chap he kept one eye on his phone and the other on the door he was a nervous wreck by the time we'd finished  . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I never ask anyone about their marital status, none of my business.
Unless someone tells you they have a partner, how do you know they are cheating?
I always ask and there are often some clues if someone is attached ."
Care to elaborate? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I never ask anyone about their marital status, none of my business.
Unless someone tells you they have a partner, how do you know they are cheating?
I always ask and there are often some clues if someone is attached .
Care to elaborate?"
What time of day and what days they're "available". Only late at night is often a sign they're attached. Don't talk at weekends - same. |
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"I never ask anyone about their marital status, none of my business.
Unless someone tells you they have a partner, how do you know they are cheating?
I always ask and there are often some clues if someone is attached .
Care to elaborate?
What time of day and what days they're "available". Only late at night is often a sign they're attached. Don't talk at weekends - same. "
Yep mainly daytime meets in week
Only communicate at certain times ,often no public pics or something like a hand or eye .
Mention being discreet
Just my experience so not saying it's all ,that's why I said often. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I never ask anyone about their marital status, none of my business.
Unless someone tells you they have a partner, how do you know they are cheating?
I always ask and there are often some clues if someone is attached .
Care to elaborate?
What time of day and what days they're "available". Only late at night is often a sign they're attached. Don't talk at weekends - same.
Yep mainly daytime meets in week
Only communicate at certain times ,often no public pics or something like a hand or eye .
Mention being discreet
Just my experience so not saying it's all ,that's why I said often."
Cannot accommodate is a ted flag too. Obviously not every guy who cannot accommodate is a cheat but it’s a red flag when combined with other things. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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you have to be a very very good lier to fool people anyway .... either way its not any bother to me as said above ..but its so easy to spot most either whem messaging or on a first meet ...the married guy just stands out for some reason |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"you have to be a very very good lier to fool people anyway .... either way its not any bother to me as said above ..but its so easy to spot most either whem messaging or on a first meet ...the married guy just stands out for some reason"
opps ....or woman |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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and heres the other thing if worked out by % the ratio of cheating will be 50/50 man or woman its only more noticeable on here because men vastly out number the women....
also couples the amount of male halfs of couples on here we get messages from asking to meet without the other half knowing is shockinly high .... so you may think your fine but many of you are most certinly not .... just saying ...its not alway as things seem ... |
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"I think the ones who don't mention it and quietly go about their business probably do okay
I let folk know to be open with them it’s not fair on them really
Also not fair on their partners that they are cheating on...."
Exactly this, not just emotional hurt but the possible health risks that come with it too |
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