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Married Men
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Probably on a hiding to nothing here.., I am a married man who has been starved of sex for a long time. I’m a bit bi-curious, so I’d like to meet couples and single women, but I’m not having any luck even getting replies to my messages. What do you all think of married men who are here on their own? |
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By *eisty LadyWoman
over a year ago
Count Your Blessings Cottage, Gratitude Grove |
"Probably on a hiding to nothing here.., I am a married man who has been starved of sex for a long time. I’m a bit bi-curious, so I’d like to meet couples and single women, but I’m not having any luck even getting replies to my messages. What do you all think of married men who are here on their own?"
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If they’re doing it behind the wife’s back then that is deceitful and dishonest - not the qualities I like in anyone |
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By *.L.0460.Woman
over a year ago
Bognor Regis |
"Probably on a hiding to nothing here.., I am a married man who has been starved of sex for a long time. I’m a bit bi-curious, so I’d like to meet couples and single women, but I’m not having any luck even getting replies to my messages. What do you all think of married men who are here on their own?"
I try not to pass judgement, because I know what it's like living half a life with a partner, but I wouldn't meet a man playing without permission.
Having been deceived in the past, I wouldn't want to risk causing another woman to be hurt.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Probably on a hiding to nothing here.., I am a married man who has been starved of sex for a long time. I’m a bit bi-curious, so I’d like to meet couples and single women, but I’m not having any luck even getting replies to my messages. What do you all think of married men who are here on their own?
…
If they’re doing it behind the wife’s back then that is deceitful and dishonest - not the qualities I like in anyone"
Yes but there is a reason why I am doing it behind my wife’s back and that’s because she doesn’t want to have sex (with anyone) and I need to have sex. I don’t want to leave because I love her and my family x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Fine if they state it on their profiles. Then it's up to the other to decide if it's worth the hassle of getting involved if she finds out.
Personally I won't touch married men unless they're in here with consent. It's a swinging site after all.
If you can't be a grown up and have the conversation about opening up your marriage then deal with the consequences! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Probably on a hiding to nothing here.., I am a married man who has been starved of sex for a long time. I’m a bit bi-curious, so I’d like to meet couples and single women, but I’m not having any luck even getting replies to my messages. What do you all think of married men who are here on their own?
I try not to pass judgement, because I know what it's like living half a life with a partner, but I wouldn't meet a man playing without permission.
Having been deceived in the past, I wouldn't want to risk causing another woman to be hurt.
"
I can understand that - thank you. And I’m sorry you were hurt x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Fine if they state it on their profiles. Then it's up to the other to decide if it's worth the hassle of getting involved if she finds out.
Personally I won't touch married men unless they're in here with consent. It's a swinging site after all.
If you can't be a grown up and have the conversation about opening up your marriage then deal with the consequences! "
I have had the conversation |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Fine if they state it on their profiles. Then it's up to the other to decide if it's worth the hassle of getting involved if she finds out.
Personally I won't touch married men unless they're in here with consent. It's a swinging site after all.
If you can't be a grown up and have the conversation about opening up your marriage then deal with the consequences!
I have had the conversation"
But you're still here without her knowledge? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Fine if they state it on their profiles. Then it's up to the other to decide if it's worth the hassle of getting involved if she finds out.
Personally I won't touch married men unless they're in here with consent. It's a swinging site after all.
If you can't be a grown up and have the conversation about opening up your marriage then deal with the consequences!
I have had the conversation
But you're still here without her knowledge? "
Yes because she doesn’t want to open up the relationship - she just expects us to live without sex |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Probably on a hiding to nothing here.., I am a married man who has been starved of sex for a long time. I’m a bit bi-curious, so I’d like to meet couples and single women, but I’m not having any luck even getting replies to my messages. What do you all think of married men who are here on their own?
…
If they’re doing it behind the wife’s back then that is deceitful and dishonest - not the qualities I like in anyone"
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Probably on a hiding to nothing here.., I am a married man who has been starved of sex for a long time. I’m a bit bi-curious, so I’d like to meet couples and single women, but I’m not having any luck even getting replies to my messages. What do you all think of married men who are here on their own?
…
If they’re doing it behind the wife’s back then that is deceitful and dishonest - not the qualities I like in anyone
Yes but there is a reason why I am doing it behind my wife’s back and that’s because she doesn’t want to have sex (with anyone) and I need to have sex. I don’t want to leave because I love her and my family x"
If you truly loved her, you couldn’t cheat! You love sex more than her. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Probably on a hiding to nothing here.., I am a married man who has been starved of sex for a long time. I’m a bit bi-curious, so I’d like to meet couples and single women, but I’m not having any luck even getting replies to my messages. What do you all think of married men who are here on their own?
…
If they’re doing it behind the wife’s back then that is deceitful and dishonest - not the qualities I like in anyone
Yes but there is a reason why I am doing it behind my wife’s back and that’s because she doesn’t want to have sex (with anyone) and I need to have sex. I don’t want to leave because I love her and my family x
If you truly loved her, you couldn’t cheat! You love sex more than her. "
Sex is a physical need listed in Maslows Hierarchy (I think that’s how you spell it) I love her very much but can’t help wanting to have sex. |
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"Meeting married people is just a personal choice. Your profile is honest about it, you are not deceiving people on here."
No, it would he hell wrong to deceive people on here - his wife and family on the other hand are fair game......... |
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By *lexV16Man
over a year ago
Welling |
There are more than a lot single (not fab single) guys here not getting any luck from this site only. It’s just number game, you married/attached have lower priority level over all.
I don’t understand though why on earth you would not divorce/split/talk to your partner and get honest life.
So much fun you can’t even imagine when you can enjoy the freedom of choice  |
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"Meeting married people is just a personal choice. Your profile is honest about it, you are not deceiving people on here.
No, it would he hell wrong to deceive people on here - his wife and family on the other hand are fair game........."
I didn't pass judgement on his moral choices. I was saying that he wasn't deceiving any potential meets on here. I personally would choose not to meet a married man, and this man enables me to make that choice. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Probably on a hiding to nothing here.., I am a married man who has been starved of sex for a long time. I’m a bit bi-curious, so I’d like to meet couples and single women, but I’m not having any luck even getting replies to my messages. What do you all think of married men who are here on their own?
…
If they’re doing it behind the wife’s back then that is deceitful and dishonest - not the qualities I like in anyone
Yes but there is a reason why I am doing it behind my wife’s back and that’s because she doesn’t want to have sex (with anyone) and I need to have sex. I don’t want to leave because I love her and my family x
If you truly loved her, you couldn’t cheat! You love sex more than her.
Sex is a physical need listed in Maslows Hierarchy (I think that’s how you spell it) I love her very much but can’t help wanting to have sex."
Maybe you’ve put her off sex! I stand by my original point, you love sex more than her. If you loved her more you couldn’t lie to her face (a lie by omission is still a lie) and deceive and yes you can help it. Humans aren’t incapable of restraint. You made a choice that puts your needs before the needs of your family. At least be honest! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"There are more than a lot single (not fab single) guys here not getting any luck from this site only. It’s just number game, you married/attached have lower priority level over all.
I don’t understand though why on earth you would not divorce/split/talk to your partner and get honest life.
So much fun you can’t even imagine when you can enjoy the freedom of choice "
Yea I know - We have teenage children and I don’t want to break the family. We get along in other respects and have chatted about it a lot. I would rather be in an open loving relationship believe me.
I understand the numbers - just wanted to hear peoples thoughts. Thanks for your reply |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Your not even 50 yet.
You've got many decades of marriage ahead of you. If something so essential is not working then although you love each other now, it will only turn u against each other over time.
It's an extremely sad situation to be in but it does happen. The right thing to do for your family is to address the issues and not to do have sex with another person to ease your current frustrations. You'll end up being hated by the ones you love irrespective of your reasons. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Your not even 50 yet.
You've got many decades of marriage ahead of you. If something so essential is not working then although you love each other now, it will only turn u against each other over time.
It's an extremely sad situation to be in but it does happen. The right thing to do for your family is to address the issues and not to do have sex with another person to ease your current frustrations. You'll end up being hated by the ones you love irrespective of your reasons. "
Thank you for your sound advice |
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No one can truly understand your situation and I think those making judgements should cool their jets. We all have wants and needs that are unique to us and that's why others will find it hard to understand.
There will be a number of ladies that prefer single men because they can meet whenever, accommodate and don't run the risk of inadvertently hurting someone.
However, there are probably a number of women in the same situation as you on here so can not only empathise, but also not judge you. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"No one can truly understand your situation and I think those making judgements should cool their jets. We all have wants and needs that are unique to us and that's why others will find it hard to understand.
There will be a number of ladies that prefer single men because they can meet whenever, accommodate and don't run the risk of inadvertently hurting someone.
However, there are probably a number of women in the same situation as you on here so can not only empathise, but also not judge you."
Thank you |
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By *lexV16Man
over a year ago
Welling |
" when you can enjoy the freedom of choice
Yea I know - We have teenage children and I don’t want to break the family. We get along in other respects and have chatted about it a lot. I would rather be in an open loving relationship believe me.
I understand the numbers - just wanted to hear peoples thoughts. Thanks for your reply "
Bullshit!
If you are in open relationship - that’s one thing. Have a talk and make decision to cheat as easier solution is completely different.
I got divorced with my younger turned 6, have 50/50 parental responsibilities and strongly advocate it’s much better to be honest with your self and the world around.
Moreover I think it’s a huge disrespect to you to live with someone who doesn’t love/doesn’t want physical intercourse with you for a sake of someone else. Either it is kids, social surroundings or whatever.
Get a piece with yourself mate. You are probably a great person on your own and deserve love. So why not getting it. There is always one for you
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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" when you can enjoy the freedom of choice
Yea I know - We have teenage children and I don’t want to break the family. We get along in other respects and have chatted about it a lot. I would rather be in an open loving relationship believe me.
I understand the numbers - just wanted to hear peoples thoughts. Thanks for your reply
Bullshit!
If you are in open relationship - that’s one thing. Have a talk and make decision to cheat as easier solution is completely different.
I got divorced with my younger turned 6, have 50/50 parental responsibilities and strongly advocate it’s much better to be honest with your self and the world around.
Moreover I think it’s a huge disrespect to you to live with someone who doesn’t love/doesn’t want physical intercourse with you for a sake of someone else. Either it is kids, social surroundings or whatever.
Get a piece with yourself mate. You are probably a great person on your own and deserve love. So why not getting it. There is always one for you
It’s a difficult situation and I just want a shag now and again - not looking for an affair or anything. I do hear what you are saying and it makes sense, but I can’t leave my family atm. Our circumstances are all a bit different.
"
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By *lexV16Man
over a year ago
Welling |
"
It’s a difficult situation and I just want a shag now and again - not looking for an affair or anything. I do hear what you are saying and it makes sense, but I can’t leave my family atm. Our circumstances are all a bit different.
"
Yeah, our circumstances are different, I did it, you can’t accept that your relationship is over one way or another. I want to believe I am totally wrong and you get it all work for you. But there is is just so small of miracle unfortunately |
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"Probably on a hiding to nothing here.., I am a married man who has been starved of sex for a long time. I’m a bit bi-curious, so I’d like to meet couples and single women, but I’m not having any luck even getting replies to my messages. What do you all think of married men who are here on their own?"
You have my full sympathy from direct personal experience. However unless it’s an open arrangement I am still not interested. It is about dialogue, trust and communication for me. It’s also about standing up for your base needs.
You didn’t choose a sexless marriage. Your wife gets to choose never to have sex with you again - it’s her body. But I draw the line in her telling you that you don’t get sex too. That is where your own autonomy also matters. So I would draw the line once and for all. “Honey I’m having sex with or without you. That’s a given. Let’s make this decision as a team so you don’t feel disenfranchised. If you can’t handle it then we either divorce or your decide to have sex again. Or accept an open marriage.”
Amazing things happen when you start to have these authentic conversations
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By * F 2018Couple
over a year ago
shropshire |
"Probably on a hiding to nothing here.., I am a married man who has been starved of sex for a long time. I’m a bit bi-curious, so I’d like to meet couples and single women, but I’m not having any luck even getting replies to my messages. What do you all think of married men who are here on their own?
…
If they’re doing it behind the wife’s back then that is deceitful and dishonest - not the qualities I like in anyone"
I agree with you, plus as someone who has really suffered with menapauses that effects a women's sex drive,stress etc men should find out why first
Sorry early morning rant.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Probably on a hiding to nothing here.., I am a married man who has been starved of sex for a long time. I’m a bit bi-curious, so I’d like to meet couples and single women, but I’m not having any luck even getting replies to my messages. What do you all think of married men who are here on their own?"
Why did you choose a swinging site? Swinging is about honesty, trust and mutual fun. There are affairs sites.
Women and couples don't give sympathy shags.
The men massively outnumber women and couples on here. Don't feel too bad about not getting a reply.  |
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"Probably on a hiding to nothing here.., I am a married man who has been starved of sex for a long time. I’m a bit bi-curious, so I’d like to meet couples and single women, but I’m not having any luck even getting replies to my messages. What do you all think of married men who are here on their own?
Why did you choose a swinging site? Swinging is about honesty, trust and mutual fun. There are affairs sites.
Women and couples don't give sympathy shags.
The men massively outnumber women and couples on here. Don't feel too bad about not getting a reply. "
What are these affair sites called? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Probably on a hiding to nothing here.., I am a married man who has been starved of sex for a long time. I’m a bit bi-curious, so I’d like to meet couples and single women, but I’m not having any luck even getting replies to my messages. What do you all think of married men who are here on their own?
Why did you choose a swinging site? Swinging is about honesty, trust and mutual fun. There are affairs sites.
Women and couples don't give sympathy shags.
The men massively outnumber women and couples on here. Don't feel too bad about not getting a reply.
What are these affair sites called?"
We can't post links to other sites. Use Google.  |
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Get yourself to a swinging /sex club OP. All of them do nights that allow / cater for singles mixed with couples.
Then it’s simply just a case of physical attraction to kick things off , worst case you have a few hours on your own around naked people and have some chit chat with strangers .
Equally daytimes there is lots sauna / spa type clubs and you will be amazed how many guys (sometimes women ) are all in same boat as you at these when chatting with them
All of these places are very discreet and much better odds of you having some no drama fun than probably using a profile here as a single married man playing away with no proper pics .
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By *lueFireCouple
over a year ago
just somewhere around here |
"Fine if they state it on their profiles. Then it's up to the other to decide if it's worth the hassle of getting involved if she finds out.
Personally I won't touch married men unless they're in here with consent. It's a swinging site after all.
If you can't be a grown up and have the conversation about opening up your marriage then deal with the consequences! "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If it’s your already being ‘honest’ on your profile, and now your ‘honest’ by starting a thread, does that make you ’twice as honest’ somehow?
Why go shouting from the roof tops?
Stop trying to air your problems with strangers in the internet and avoiding the inevitability with your wife.
Do that first, and then come back and post, and then I’ll tell you what I really think about a married man (or woman) cheating. |
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We're not looking for single men, but we tend to let people make their own decisions about their marriages. Sexless marriages can be very upsetting. We don't know what's going on in other people's relationships so we don't judge them for their choices. |
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I'm single but I'd meet a married woman for the reason that's she's clearly not happy in her relationship and is looking for someone or something else, it's the married person who is cheating, not the single.
So OP I see no issue with you being married as long as you're making it clear to potential meets |
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"What about if it was a married woman playing away ? "
Just as bad the only difference is married woman don’t make posts moaning about their unhappy marriage.
Let’s be honest tho not everyone that cheats is in a sexless marriage some are just selfish bastards .. |
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"Probably on a hiding to nothing here.., I am a married man who has been starved of sex for a long time. I’m a bit bi-curious, so I’d like to meet couples and single women, but I’m not having any luck even getting replies to my messages. What do you all think of married men who are here on their own?
Why did you choose a swinging site? Swinging is about honesty, trust and mutual fun. There are affairs sites.
Women and couples don't give sympathy shags.
The men massively outnumber women and couples on here. Don't feel too bad about not getting a reply. "
This |
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"What about if it was a married woman playing away ?
There is a big difference.
I'd like to know what that big difference is 
The way the cheated on party deals with it if/when they find out."
Surely it's the same for male or female ???? Cheating is Cheating whatever sex you are, you're not suggesting that if a male is cheated on he may get violent ??? |
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"Probably on a hiding to nothing here.., I am a married man who has been starved of sex for a long time. I’m a bit bi-curious, so I’d like to meet couples and single women, but I’m not having any luck even getting replies to my messages. What do you all think of married men who are here on their own?
…
If they’re doing it behind the wife’s back then that is deceitful and dishonest - not the qualities I like in anyone
Yes but there is a reason why I am doing it behind my wife’s back and that’s because she doesn’t want to have sex (with anyone) and I need to have sex. I don’t want to leave because I love her and my family x
If you truly loved her, you couldn’t cheat! You love sex more than her.
Sex is a physical need listed in Maslows Hierarchy (I think that’s how you spell it) I love her very much but can’t help wanting to have sex."
I can 100% confirm that sex does not appear on Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs.
Typical internet research numpty throwing around academic articles and proven research theories to justify your selfish desire to cheat.
You're a real catch!  |
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"What about if it was a married woman playing away ?
There is a big difference.
I'd like to know what that big difference is
The way the cheated on party deals with it if/when they find out.
Surely it's the same for male or female ???? Cheating is Cheating whatever sex you are, you're not suggesting that if a male is cheated on he may get violent ???"
I was suggesting that if a woman is cheated on she will tend to blame the people her partner cheated with.
Men are more likely to blame the cheating woman.
In our experience. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What about if it was a married woman playing away ? "
That's hot as fuck! 
Poor woman, her husband is just an 'orrible git for not pleasuring her every which way. Good for her for getting sex on her own terms!!
Sisterhood rules woowoooooo!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I havent read the whole thread so apologies if similar has been asked.
Why are you with her? It's a big part of your life clearly and you're not getting it from her?
Assuming you have spoken to her and looked for any reasons you could resolve for her to be more interested, part ways on good terms and live your life?
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"I havent read the whole thread so apologies if similar has been asked.
Why are you with her? It's a big part of your life clearly and you're not getting it from her?
Assuming you have spoken to her and looked for any reasons you could resolve for her to be more interested, part ways on good terms and live your life?
"
I'm sure he's never thought of trying to work it out with his partner. So useful reminder. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
I'm sure he's never thought of trying to work it out with his partner. So useful reminder. "
I never reminded him to try to work it out... I assumed he already has and then questioned why he was staying.
Keep up |
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"
I'm sure he's never thought of trying to work it out with his partner. So useful reminder.
I never reminded him to try to work it out... I assumed he already has and then questioned why he was staying.
Keep up"
Keep up... Ahh those were the days. |
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Lies, deception and manipulation are the reasons I'll not allow myself another relationship and have been celibate for over 2 years now.
If you think you aren't being manipulative you can think again. You're manipulating the relationship by not being honest that you're looking for and willing to act on sex outside the marriage.
That shit doesn't just destroy relationships, it destroys people.
There's nothing wrong with wanting sex. Nothing at all.
There's nothing wrong with fearing the conversion about the future of the family either.
What are you teaching your children?
To lie, to cheat and to disrespect their partners.
To accept being lied to, cheated on and disrespected by their partners.
You could teach them that relationships veer in different directions, and even with love still within it 2 people can want and need different things.
That relationships can and do break down, but with honesty, compassion, consideration and both sides working together to maintain harmony, they can break down peacefully and respectfully.
That's hard work tho innit, whereas getting an odd shag here and there is far less traumatic for your children and family. When the truth comes out (which it will) would you prefer to be labelled a liar and a cheat who values getting his dick wet more than family by your kids or would you prefer to be thought of as someone they could trust? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Probably on a hiding to nothing here.., I am a married man who has been starved of sex for a long time. I’m a bit bi-curious, so I’d like to meet couples and single women, but I’m not having any luck even getting replies to my messages. What do you all think of married men who are here on their own?"
It's good that you state it outright on your profile so people you encounter on here can make an informed choice..
But it's not for me |
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"Probably on a hiding to nothing here.., I am a married man who has been starved of sex for a long time. I’m a bit bi-curious, so I’d like to meet couples and single women, but I’m not having any luck even getting replies to my messages. What do you all think of married men who are here on their own?"
So much written about this on this forum.
Personally, my view is that you should be honest with your wife and set her free. Let someone else love her the way that she wants and deserves to be loved.
I say this without judgment but the above is my position on this.
Stop doing it; it’s wrong - every which way you look at it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Probably on a hiding to nothing here.., I am a married man who has been starved of sex for a long time. I’m a bit bi-curious, so I’d like to meet couples and single women, but I’m not having any luck even getting replies to my messages. What do you all think of married men who are here on their own?
…
If they’re doing it behind the wife’s back then that is deceitful and dishonest - not the qualities I like in anyone
Yes but there is a reason why I am doing it behind my wife’s back and that’s because she doesn’t want to have sex (with anyone) and I need to have sex. I don’t want to leave because I love her and my family x"
If she has zero interest why doesn't she give you permission to meet your sexual needs elsewhere? Surely she can't expect you to go without sex for the rest of your life?
Talk to her find a compromise that can work for both of you maybe?
KJ |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"What about if it was a married woman playing away ?
Married women don't play away. They seek closeness and comfort in the face of years of neglect from their bastard partner. "
My opinion doesn’t change according to gender, I just don’t remember the last time a woman cheating dedicated a post to it in the forum!
Whatever way you cut it, women are more likely to have a problem with cheats than men as SOME men will do anything to get their dick wet! |
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"What about if it was a married woman playing away ?
Married women don't play away. They seek closeness and comfort in the face of years of neglect from their bastard partner. "
Same dishonesty whatever the home situation - and lots of married women playing away here - seen and heard from numerous profiles. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Lies, deception and manipulation are the reasons I'll not allow myself another relationship and have been celibate for over 2 years now.
If you think you aren't being manipulative you can think again. You're manipulating the relationship by not being honest that you're looking for and willing to act on sex outside the marriage.
That shit doesn't just destroy relationships, it destroys people.
There's nothing wrong with wanting sex. Nothing at all.
There's nothing wrong with fearing the conversion about the future of the family either.
What are you teaching your children?
To lie, to cheat and to disrespect their partners.
To accept being lied to, cheated on and disrespected by their partners.
You could teach them that relationships veer in different directions, and even with love still within it 2 people can want and need different things.
That relationships can and do break down, but with honesty, compassion, consideration and both sides working together to maintain harmony, they can break down peacefully and respectfully.
That's hard work tho innit, whereas getting an odd shag here and there is far less traumatic for your children and family. When the truth comes out (which it will) would you prefer to be labelled a liar and a cheat who values getting his dick wet more than family by your kids or would you prefer to be thought of as someone they could trust? "
I really hope the OP responds to this insightful post |
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I was married with her 14 years married 3 found out she was having an affair so now divorced lost out on q4 years of fun found this site and thought ill give it ago problem is there are more men than women so just got to wait until you catch the right lady's eye xx |
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By *omer47Man
over a year ago
leigh |
Your upfront and honest about it, but the fact remains that quite a few women on here are also either married or have a partner but it seems that it ok for them to do it but won't entertain a guy doing the same thing they are....and I don't mean couples either. I've read a few profiles that state she's married, husband doesn't know, or husband not giving her what she crave/desires,etc,but as its a female she's fine to do exactly what she says she won't do if it was a male......if ive explained that correctly. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Probably on a hiding to nothing here.., I am a married man who has been starved of sex for a long time. I’m a bit bi-curious, so I’d like to meet couples and single women, but I’m not having any luck even getting replies to my messages. What do you all think of married men who are here on their own?
Check it out before hurling insults
…
If they’re doing it behind the wife’s back then that is deceitful and dishonest - not the qualities I like in anyone
Yes but there is a reason why I am doing it behind my wife’s back and that’s because she doesn’t want to have sex (with anyone) and I need to have sex. I don’t want to leave because I love her and my family x
If you truly loved her, you couldn’t cheat! You love sex more than her.
Sex is a physical need listed in Maslows Hierarchy (I think that’s how you spell it) I love her very much but can’t help wanting to have sex.
I can 100% confirm that sex does not appear on Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs.
Typical internet research numpty throwing around academic articles and proven research theories to justify your selfish desire to cheat.
You're a real catch! "
|
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By *iggingMan
over a year ago
Oldham |
I am a married man on here and she doesn't know..tbh I don't think I have the guts to go behind her back but I am on here to see other people and wish I had the guts to see someone else..a bit of a fantasy for me and I understand that might freak someone out..we are in a sexless marriage so it literally is a fantasy as I love my wife more than anything in the world. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"At least your up front and honest, I been here for years and know many guys are married yet they don't state it, thus main reason most can't accommodate, "
Honest isn’t how I’d describe him |
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I was married for years, I went off sex with him, it was like having another child. Cooking, cleaning, running the family, working etc, in the end I thought it was just another job. If he had taken time to participate in family life I wouldn't have felt this way. |
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Generally I’ve found it’s the same ones who comment on the married threads. I’d wager a large sum of money that in the past they’ve had ‘liaisons’ with a married person and became rather too attached for the married persons liking……. just my observation from the years I’ve been on here. |
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"Probably on a hiding to nothing here.., I am a married man who has been starved of sex for a long time. I’m a bit bi-curious, so I’d like to meet couples and single women, but I’m not having any luck even getting replies to my messages. What do you all think of married men who are here on their own?"
If the wife doesn't know, then we think they are dishonest and disrespectful tossers.
You asked so we told you.
If you aren't compatible then leave. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Generally I’ve found it’s the same ones who comment on the married threads. I’d wager a large sum of money that in the past they’ve had ‘liaisons’ with a married person and became rather too attached for the married persons liking……. just my observation from the years I’ve been on here. "
LOL nope some of us just hate liars and cheats because it’s dishonest and disrespectful behaviour! People seem to think being on this site means we have no morals but some of us do! |
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What other people do in their relationships is none of our business. I think on fab you have to take what people say with a pinch of salt - and that includes their relationship status. I think it’s probably safe to guess that half the men on here that list themselves as single, probably aren’t. So to us, it really doesn’t matter whether you’re single or in a relationship. We won’t ask questions. But this is one of the reasons we don’t play close to home. Definitely wouldn’t want to be in a situation where we bumped into a guy we’d met and his wife in tesco. Out of sight out of mind kind of thing I guess. |
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"What about if it was a married woman playing away ?
There is a big difference.
I'd like to know what that big difference is
The way the cheated on party deals with it if/when they find out.
Surely it's the same for male or female ???? Cheating is Cheating whatever sex you are, you're not suggesting that if a male is cheated on he may get violent ???"
Well a male who was cheated on by his partner who met people through fab chased the guy down our street with a knife , so in some cases yeah they get violent |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I applaud your bravery to confess your intentions OP, especially given that the Forum has a high number of people that consider themselves righteous. I obviously can’t condone your intentions but neither will I condemn them, it is not for me to judge even if invited to do so. |
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A sexless marriage is no fun at all - in some ways it’s a bit of a life sentence. Do wonder if sometimes the wife withdraws from sex out of some deep-seated feminist resentment or anger. I think a persistent refusal to have sex is itself an act of disrespect to the marriage and is, possibly, an act of passive aggression. I also think it could be argued it is a form of psychological abuse.
Years ago my parents knew a nice couple where the wife refused to allow the marriage to be consummated. Everyone was shocked, but not surprised, when the husband left.
Although I find the words very distasteful in a church, the Anglican Common Worship marriage ceremony has the vicar declare that one of the resons for marriage is “sexual union”. Take that away and you may as well just have a friendship! |
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I also knew a nice old couple in the 80’s who had one son. The wife proudly told my mum her son was the result of the only time in over 60 years of marriage she’d ever let her husband have sex with her.
Later on when the husband was in a care home he apparently refused to talk to her. Sad, but years of pent-up resentment must have built up! |
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Many people end up in sexless relationships and some learn to cope without it, or secretly watch porn to relieve the pressure, but we are, as a species, meant to have sex for pleasure as well as procreation so to live without it is not good for us. However, seeking alternatives to the one you love is potentially a really destructive path to take. I have met a few married women on here and their reasons for meeting varied from husbands not wanting sex anymore to being in the process of getting divorced to just liking fucking other men.
The downside is that your honesty is going to leave you at the bottom of the pile which never seems fair but that’s fab life for you
|
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I also knew a nice old couple in the 80’s who had one son. The wife proudly told my mum her son was the result of the only time in over 60 years of marriage she’d ever let her husband have sex with her.
Later on when the husband was in a care home he apparently refused to talk to her. Sad, but years of pent-up resentment must have built up!"
Hi Joe, you clearly understand the predicament. Isn’t that a fascinating account of the elderly couple - I can relate to it completely and I do sometimes feel resentful. Thanks for sharing x |
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"Many people end up in sexless relationships and some learn to cope without it, or secretly watch porn to relieve the pressure, but we are, as a species, meant to have sex for pleasure as well as procreation so to live without it is not good for us. However, seeking alternatives to the one you love is potentially a really destructive path to take. I have met a few married women on here and their reasons for meeting varied from husbands not wanting sex anymore to being in the process of getting divorced to just liking fucking other men.
The downside is that your honesty is going to leave you at the bottom of the pile which never seems fair but that’s fab life for you
"
why will it leave him at the bottom of the pile when such a small percentage of fab users don't ever visit the forums ? |
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"Many people end up in sexless relationships and some learn to cope without it, or secretly watch porn to relieve the pressure, but we are, as a species, meant to have sex for pleasure as well as procreation so to live without it is not good for us. However, seeking alternatives to the one you love is potentially a really destructive path to take. I have met a few married women on here and their reasons for meeting varied from husbands not wanting sex anymore to being in the process of getting divorced to just liking fucking other men.
The downside is that your honesty is going to leave you at the bottom of the pile which never seems fair but that’s fab life for you
why will it leave him at the bottom of the pile when such a small percentage of fab users don't ever visit the forums ? "
only a small percentage of fabs users visit the forums* |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Lies, deception and manipulation are the reasons I'll not allow myself another relationship and have been celibate for over 2 years now.
If you think you aren't being manipulative you can think again. You're manipulating the relationship by not being honest that you're looking for and willing to act on sex outside the marriage.
That shit doesn't just destroy relationships, it destroys people.
There's nothing wrong with wanting sex. Nothing at all.
There's nothing wrong with fearing the conversion about the future of the family either.
What are you teaching your children?
To lie, to cheat and to disrespect their partners.
To accept being lied to, cheated on and disrespected by their partners.
You could teach them that relationships veer in different directions, and even with love still within it 2 people can want and need different things.
That relationships can and do break down, but with honesty, compassion, consideration and both sides working together to maintain harmony, they can break down peacefully and respectfully.
That's hard work tho innit, whereas getting an odd shag here and there is far less traumatic for your children and family. When the truth comes out (which it will) would you prefer to be labelled a liar and a cheat who values getting his dick wet more than family by your kids or would you prefer to be thought of as someone they could trust? "
100% This
Rest of the comment was for a different post. Hard to keep up with all the married men posts. |
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"Many people end up in sexless relationships and some learn to cope without it, or secretly watch porn to relieve the pressure, but we are, as a species, meant to have sex for pleasure as well as procreation so to live without it is not good for us. However, seeking alternatives to the one you love is potentially a really destructive path to take. I have met a few married women on here and their reasons for meeting varied from husbands not wanting sex anymore to being in the process of getting divorced to just liking fucking other men.
The downside is that your honesty is going to leave you at the bottom of the pile which never seems fair but that’s fab life for you
why will it leave him at the bottom of the pile when such a small percentage of fab users don't ever visit the forums ? "
I meant that the OP being honest and saying he is married will mean he gets filtered out of many peoples searches. I admire his honesty though! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"A sexless marriage is no fun at all - in some ways it’s a bit of a life sentence. Do wonder if sometimes the wife withdraws from sex out of some deep-seated feminist resentment or anger. I think a persistent refusal to have sex is itself an act of disrespect to the marriage and is, possibly, an act of passive aggression. I also think it could be argued it is a form of psychological abuse.
Years ago my parents knew a nice couple where the wife refused to allow the marriage to be consummated. Everyone was shocked, but not surprised, when the husband left.
Although I find the words very distasteful in a church, the Anglican Common Worship marriage ceremony has the vicar declare that one of the resons for marriage is “sexual union”. Take that away and you may as well just have a friendship! "
Interesting post.
Everyone has the right to what they want with their own body but to withdraw sex goes against the fudementals of a marriage and for the horny person left frustrated is a potential life sentence.
As a father myself this type of imbalance will most definitely effect any children in the marriage negatively of that there is no doubt.
It's far better to leave, be happy living your best life and keeping a respectful Co parenting arrange with your ex.
KJ
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By *usie pTV/TS
over a year ago
taunton |
A very common situation that affects a very large proportion of marriages I don't think anyone really knows why the reasons are probably numerous. The wives in these relationships are happy enough to begin with because they do not have the desires {at least with hubby] but eventually is going to bring resentment on both sides and any love will fade, after sticking with it for a life time my advice would be to get out asap as amicably as possible.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"A sexless marriage is no fun at all - in some ways it’s a bit of a life sentence. Do wonder if sometimes the wife withdraws from sex out of some deep-seated feminist resentment or anger. I think a persistent refusal to have sex is itself an act of disrespect to the marriage and is, possibly, an act of passive aggression. I also think it could be argued it is a form of psychological abuse.
Years ago my parents knew a nice couple where the wife refused to allow the marriage to be consummated. Everyone was shocked, but not surprised, when the husband left.
Although I find the words very distasteful in a church, the Anglican Common Worship marriage ceremony has the vicar declare that one of the resons for marriage is “sexual union”. Take that away and you may as well just have a friendship!
Interesting post.
Everyone has the right to what they want with their own body but to withdraw sex goes against the fudementals of a marriage and for the horny person left frustrated is a potential life sentence.
As a father myself this type of imbalance will most definitely effect any children in the marriage negatively of that there is no doubt.
It's far better to leave, be happy living your best life and keeping a respectful Co parenting arrange with your ex.
KJ
"
Thank you - more sage advice ?? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"A very common situation that affects a very large proportion of marriages I don't think anyone really knows why the reasons are probably numerous. The wives in these relationships are happy enough to begin with because they do not have the desires {at least with hubby] but eventually is going to bring resentment on both sides and any love will fade, after sticking with it for a life time my advice would be to get out asap as amicably as possible.
"
Thank you - sound advice I feel ??
Are you still in this marriage? |
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"I applaud your bravery to confess your intentions OP, especially given that the Forum has a high number of people that consider themselves righteous. I obviously can’t condone your intentions but neither will I condemn them, it is not for me to judge even if invited to do so. "
Well balanced top response |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I always find it funny when swingers jump to call a married man dishonest, a liar and a scumbag, not even bothering to ask about his circumstances or those of his relationship.
Yet when vanilla couples call swingers immoral and, depraved and fail to understand why a man would want to watch another guy spunk in his wife's face, they are just twats and free to choose and enjoy their boring vanilla life, as if they were wrong for not choosing to swing.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I always find it funny when swingers jump to call a *married man* dishonest, a liar and a scumbag, not even bothering to ask about his circumstances or those of his relationship.
Yet when vanilla couples call swingers immoral and, depraved and fail to understand why a man would want to watch another guy spunk in his wife's face, they are just twats and free to choose and enjoy their boring vanilla life, as if they were wrong for not choosing to swing. "
Is this *married man* fucking around with permission or cheating?
|
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"I always find it funny when swingers jump to call a married man dishonest, a liar and a scumbag, not even bothering to ask about his circumstances or those of his relationship.
Yet when vanilla couples call swingers immoral and, depraved and fail to understand why a man would want to watch another guy spunk in his wife's face, they are just twats and free to choose and enjoy their boring vanilla life, as if they were wrong for not choosing to swing. "
A couple swinging together, with mutual agreement, is not the same as a married person "playing away" without permission. |
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By *our HeroMan
over a year ago
south Oxfordshire |
"Probably on a hiding to nothing here.., I am a married man who has been starved of sex for a long time. I’m a bit bi-curious, so I’d like to meet couples and single women, but I’m not having any luck even getting replies to my messages. What do you all think of married men who are here on their own?
…
If they’re doing it behind the wife’s back then that is deceitful and dishonest - not the qualities I like in anyone
Yes but there is a reason why I am doing it behind my wife’s back and that’s because she doesn’t want to have sex (with anyone) and I need to have sex. I don’t want to leave because I love her and my family x
If you truly loved her, you couldn’t cheat! You love sex more than her. "
That’s pretty judgmental. You nor anyone else know the finer in’s and out’s of this chap’s marriage and home life. Or if and how much he loves his wife and family.
This site is the last place anyone should be judging someone else.
Just my honest opinion. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
In the grand scheme of things as Freddy Mercury said "nothing really matters" so do your thing, your way.
True love has nothing to do with sex at all, it's about a mental connection, not physical. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Probably on a hiding to nothing here.., I am a married man who has been starved of sex for a long time. I’m a bit bi-curious, so I’d like to meet couples and single women, but I’m not having any luck even getting replies to my messages. What do you all think of married men who are here on their own?
…
If they’re doing it behind the wife’s back then that is deceitful and dishonest - not the qualities I like in anyone
Yes but there is a reason why I am doing it behind my wife’s back and that’s because she doesn’t want to have sex (with anyone) and I need to have sex. I don’t want to leave because I love her and my family x
If you truly loved her, you couldn’t cheat! You love sex more than her.
That’s pretty judgmental. You nor anyone else know the finer in’s and out’s of this chap’s marriage and home life. Or if and how much he loves his wife and family.
This site is the last place anyone should be judging someone else.
Just my honest opinion."
Thank you - I think what you’ve said is spot on. However, what everybody’s reaction has given me is a good understanding of the general feeling of people using the site towards married men here without permission, and it is absolutely fascinating. We are all entitled to our opinions, each as valid as the next, but we should attempt to share them without insult, without abuse and with an open mind xx |
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By *umourCouple
over a year ago
Rushden |
FFS! Admire him for his honesty? To a bunch of strangers on the internet? While he is not only being dishonest to himself and his family, he wants to have sex behind his wife's back! Get a grip!
As for judgement, yes I am judging him! We all are, even if we sympathise with him.
Sex is more important that his love for his wife and kids, that he is prepared to destroy her totally and turn his kids against him. What a fine example!
We would never meet a single guy who was attached, whether partner, girlfriend or wife. It is one of the reasons we no longer meet single guys. One we did meet, told us he was single, we even went to his flat and all was well, nearly at the play stage and Innuendo went to the toilet. Stashed away in a corner under the towel was a whole lot of female toiletries. When asked, he admitted she was away for a few days.
If you can't be honest, bugger off! This is supposed to be about trust and we would never trust anyone cheating! |
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By *8v3nCouple
over a year ago
Coventry |
Perhaps there would be lots of hypocritical answers. Sex and attractiveness is the only context. The issue with cheating is that it comes with "baggage". I.e. yourself hiding around and god knows what happens when partner finds out. All of that is just too much for NSA relationship and a big turn-off. On the other hand if its all free and open, who cares who has what.
On a flipside it attractiveness outweighs the hassle, who knows how theory would work in practice. |
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By *umourCouple
over a year ago
Rushden |
"This site is the last place anyone should be judging someone else.
"
How do you get to that? We are here, both of us consensually. We know what we are doing and we both have permission!
So go on, we at least are being honest. And anyone commenting are judging him! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"This site is the last place anyone should be judging someone else.
How do you get to that? We are here, both of us consensually. We know what we are doing and we both have permission!
So go on, we at least are being honest. And anyone commenting are judging him!"
It's the typical response from someone who doesn't understand that swinging is based on trust love and total respect. I.e the opposite of cheating.
It also reveals their true judgment of those who swing.
KJ |
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By *umourCouple
over a year ago
Rushden |
"This site is the last place anyone should be judging someone else.
How do you get to that? We are here, both of us consensually. We know what we are doing and we both have permission!
So go on, we at least are being honest. And anyone commenting are judging him!
It's the typical response from someone who doesn't understand that swinging is based on trust love and total respect. I.e the opposite of cheating.
It also reveals their true judgment of those who swing.
KJ"
|
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"Probably on a hiding to nothing here.., I am a married man who has been starved of sex for a long time. I’m a bit bi-curious, so I’d like to meet couples and single women, but I’m not having any luck even getting replies to my messages. What do you all think of married men who are here on their own?
…
If they’re doing it behind the wife’s back then that is deceitful and dishonest - not the qualities I like in anyone
Yes but there is a reason why I am doing it behind my wife’s back and that’s because she doesn’t want to have sex (with anyone) and I need to have sex. I don’t want to leave because I love her and my family x
If you truly loved her, you couldn’t cheat! You love sex more than her.
That’s pretty judgmental. You nor anyone else know the finer in’s and out’s of this chap’s marriage and home life. Or if and how much he loves his wife and family.
This site is the last place anyone should be judging someone else.
Just my honest opinion."
He loves her that much that he takes away her freedom of choice?? |
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I was faithful for 11 years.
Ended up with chlamydia.
If you are gonna cheat, if you are gonna risk all you have for sex elsewhere, do everyone involved a favour and get regularly tested and don't go near your wife for sex once you begin playing away.
It's bad enough you're prepared to compromise her mental health, please don't compromise her physical health too, as was done to me.
If I'd have known my ex was getting sex elsewhere I wouldn't have consented to sex with him. |
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