One I heard a while back about someone who though he was quite witty was "your not the sharpest peanut in the turd" and I still think about it to this day

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

The lights are on but nobody is home?

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By *ollycouple71Couple over a year ago

manchester

"A porkpie short of a picnic"
A sandwich short of a picnic x

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By *ensuallover1000Man over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

‘The wheel’s still spinning but the hamster’s dead.’

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By *innie The MinxWoman over a year ago

Under the Duvet

"‘You’re head is full of fairground music.’ "

Love that one

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"A village is missing its idiot..

Wheel is turning but the hamster is dead "

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

None compos mentis.

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By *orthmanMan over a year ago

Kendal

As useless as a chocolate teapot

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By *ogger130Man over a year ago

Far North

A few spanners short of a tool set

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By *carlet_woman_xxWoman over a year ago

somewhere

As smart as bait

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By *ememberTheName OP Man over a year ago

barnsley

"I bet your family tree is a wreath"

For me this is winning

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By *ambi4uMan over a year ago

Saint Helens

He's not got two brain cells to rub together.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

You’re not wired right

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By *ntcovMan over a year ago

Church Gresley / Swadlincote

Mad as a box of frogs.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

As sharp as a marble

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By *ny1localMan over a year ago

READING

His dentist would hear an echo.

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By *ncemoreroundthesunCouple over a year ago

on the move

As thick as a whale omelette (from blackadder

)

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By *ilverjagMan over a year ago

swansea

Two rooms upstairs not painted, and as much use as a chocolate chisel.

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By *ilverjagMan over a year ago

swansea

Attention span of a goldfish

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By *ilverjagMan over a year ago

swansea

Were you born naturally thick, or did you have to serve an apprenticeship, and gain a professional qualification I stupidity.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

A strawberry short of a punnet

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By *ilverjagMan over a year ago

swansea

Not a figure of speach now, but if anyone is wondering why I should be focused on this subject, I'm about to get showered, and meet up with a builder who left a job in the hands of an insect brain over the weekend, and were about to rip it up and start again. Have a good day folks.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

A ball gag short of a gimp suit

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

As much use as a fart in a trance

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By *he Artful TodgerMan over a year ago

Yorkshire but travel

"A few tories short of a cabinet."

Very topical…

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