FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > mail never gets read
mail never gets read
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totally annoying that even when time taken to send message it's eaither not read or it is read but no reply but then there a status saying how spam messages or copied with no effort yet this just isn't true.
place seems to be going to rat for conversation now  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Many here will view a profile before reading the message sent.
Often deciding before they open a message.
Use your profile to really sell yourself.
Express what you're looking for and what you can offer.
Can I ask, what kind of messages so you send? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Assume you’re sending to women, who are inundated with messages on here? Perhaps they haven’t the time to read each message due to sheer volume and life commitments.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"see that I get there is alot.of bugus messages but if you read it then clearly you have taken time to read it"
Why would you reply to every message from people you’re not interested in? Sounds like an admin assistant would be required full time! |
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I generally now only reply to messages that have come out of a forum thread that I'm participating in.
Way too many messages to be able to read and reply to every message... I'd be here 95 hours a day!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'd also like to humbly brag it's because I get soooooo many messages a day.
Truthfully, I know shocker on here, if I reach double digits that's a busy day!
But, nah I still don't reply. Can't be arsed. |
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By *lynJMan
over a year ago
Morden |
"suppose so but sometimes it's blocking that makes.no sence rather get told why then just blocked or ignored when effort goes.in to message complement or whatever"
The problem is the number of messages that couples and single ladies receive. To reply to each one giving reasons why would mean they wouldn't have time to meet.
Also, the mailbox only shows a limited number of message threads. Your message could easily be pushed off the bottom, unread and the recipient actually never sees it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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People block for convenience. I block idiots who don't read my profile for example. It isn't personal. You could use better pics, they tell me you don't have a lot of confidence and that can be off putting.
But as already stated, nobody owes you anything. |
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"I did a bulk delete about a week and a half ago, I’ve now got over 300 unread messages again and I’m not even that popular on here! What do you actually expect us to do with all of those?! "
Compile them into a spreadsheet and write a report on them?
No?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I check a profile first. If they don't match what I'm looking for and it's clear they've not read my profile I'll delete.
If the profile is blank or the message is 'hi' or the equivalent I delete.
Really sell yourself with your profile and first message. Stand out from the crowd.
I use to reply but I've always had people try and change my mind so now I just delete. Unfortunately the few that would take no for an answer are treated the same way. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You need to be attaching a free dinosaur cock shot with every message. Guaranteed replies.
They don’t even know for certain that dinosaurs had dicks."
My pet dinosaur does, he likes to call it the Megasorearse maker. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You need to be attaching a free dinosaur cock shot with every message. Guaranteed replies.
They don’t even know for certain that dinosaurs had dicks.
My pet dinosaur does, he likes to call it the Megasorearse maker."
Is he a dicklodocus? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You need to be attaching a free dinosaur cock shot with every message. Guaranteed replies.
They don’t even know for certain that dinosaurs had dicks.
My pet dinosaur does, he likes to call it the Megasorearse maker.
Is he a dicklodocus?"
You know of these creatures? I thought it was just me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You need to be attaching a free dinosaur cock shot with every message. Guaranteed replies.
They don’t even know for certain that dinosaurs had dicks.
My pet dinosaur does, he likes to call it the Megasorearse maker.
Is he a dicklodocus?
You know of these creatures? I thought it was just me. "
Fun fact. Diplodocus is the best word to say in a Geordie accent. |
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"You need to be attaching a free dinosaur cock shot with every message. Guaranteed replies.
They don’t even know for certain that dinosaurs had dicks.
My pet dinosaur does, he likes to call it the Megasorearse maker.
Is he a dicklodocus?
You know of these creatures? I thought it was just me.
Fun fact. Diplodocus is the best word to say in a Geordie accent."
I thought it was roller coaster? |
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The virtual world can be brutal sometimes, but tbh I find face to face can be even more brutal. Unfortunately no one owes you a response regardless how imaginative you think your opening is. I cope by expecting nothing a bit like doing the lottery.  |
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By *eliusMan
over a year ago
Henlow |
"No response means no thanks, not a hard concept to grasp, no one owes you a response."
Although true for many not so for all. Some recipients are just not impressed by what they read and just ignore. I’ve had nice replies and convos after sending a 2nd or 3rd mail. Unless of course it has the deleted line through it, then I don’t bother. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You need to be attaching a free dinosaur cock shot with every message. Guaranteed replies.
They don’t even know for certain that dinosaurs had dicks.
My pet dinosaur does, he likes to call it the Megasorearse maker.
Is he a dicklodocus?
You know of these creatures? I thought it was just me.
Fun fact. Diplodocus is the best word to say in a Geordie accent."
Oh say it baby |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Deleted unread is a ‘polite’ no. Apparently. 
Or I'm sorry but I'm just really lazy and can't be fucked. "
I’d be happier if they sent that! Anyone who tells me that they can’t think of a more polite way to say no, is an ass.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You need to be attaching a free dinosaur cock shot with every message. Guaranteed replies.
They don’t even know for certain that dinosaurs had dicks.
My pet dinosaur does, he likes to call it the Megasorearse maker.
Is he a dicklodocus?
You know of these creatures? I thought it was just me.
Fun fact. Diplodocus is the best word to say in a Geordie accent.
I thought it was roller coaster?"
That’s second. Toblerone is third. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Deleted unread is a ‘polite’ no. Apparently.
Or I'm sorry but I'm just really lazy and can't be fucked.
I’d be happier if they sent that! Anyone who tells me that they can’t think of a more polite way to say no, is an ass. "
I will proudly be an ass |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You need to be attaching a free dinosaur cock shot with every message. Guaranteed replies.
They don’t even know for certain that dinosaurs had dicks.
My pet dinosaur does, he likes to call it the Megasorearse maker.
Is he a dicklodocus?
You know of these creatures? I thought it was just me.
Fun fact. Diplodocus is the best word to say in a Geordie accent.
Oh say it baby"
Unfortunately I can’t. Last time I did that Noah had to build an ark to deal with the gush from the forum ladies  |
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Ultimately it’s a cycle that’s no one’s fault
Mostly men on website
Womens inboxes are flooded
Most messages go unopened
Guys start to realise there’s little point putting effort into messages that mostly go unopened
Guys send messages with less and less effort
Women complain about low effort messages
Here’s my tip OP
If you aren’t willing to go to clubs/socials, the website is a waste of time. Unless you fill a niche like being really attractive + tall + tattoos + hung
The site just doesn’t really work that great for the average guy. There’s too many average guys and very little women willing to meet them.
Make a great profile with good pics. Put in your bio you don’t message first because everyone inbox is so full there’s no point.
The ones that will meet you will message you. Save yourself a bunch of time and effort. |
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By *JstarsoloWoman
over a year ago
Wombwell, Barnsley |
It's brought up time and time again. No-one owes anyone anything on fab. And, this is supposed to be fun. Hiring a full time admin assistant to reply to each and every message when women get 100s of messages a day sometimes, and you're not the slightest bit interested in them anyway would be no fun.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've only sent a few messages, most are read, one was read and deleted, one was deleted without being read and I've had 3 replies.. out of that one was a thanks but no thanks, one was n answer but then nothing and the third was a friendly chat about Benidorm... its all good no matter what happens, ike life, don't take a swinging site too seriously. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Deleted unread is a ‘polite’ no. Apparently.
Or I'm sorry but I'm just really lazy and can't be fucked.
I’d be happier if they sent that! Anyone who tells me that they can’t think of a more polite way to say no, is an ass.
I will proudly be an ass "
Nice ass.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ultimately it’s a cycle that’s no one’s fault
Mostly men on website
Womens inboxes are flooded
Most messages go unopened
Guys start to realise there’s little point putting effort into messages that mostly go unopened
Guys send messages with less and less effort
Women complain about low effort messages
Here’s my tip OP
If you aren’t willing to go to clubs/socials, the website is a waste of time. Unless you fill a niche like being really attractive + tall + tattoos + hung
The site just doesn’t really work that great for the average guy. There’s too many average guys and very little women willing to meet them.
Make a great profile with good pics. Put in your bio you don’t message first because everyone inbox is so full there’s no point.
The ones that will meet you will message you. Save yourself a bunch of time and effort. "
Best response on this thread |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Fab prince of bel-air
Now, this is a story all about how
life on fab-can make a man feel down
And I'd like to take a minute
Just sit right there
I'll tell you how many people tell us life ain’t fair!!!
At best the ‘forumites’ will hear this every day
“Why won’t people meet me?, I’ve tried every way! “
Send dicks out, tits out, blowjob on a stool.
Deleted ignore feeling like a fool
Then a couple of messages from a woman wants wood!
Wasted your time, being blocked ain’t good
You’re ego is floored and you feel despair
You say, I’m posting in the forum because fab ain’t fair! |
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OP, my profile clearly states that I'm not meeting and won't reply to messages. Guess what? I still get messages every day.
By your reasoning I should read and reply to those messages even though the people sending them haven't done me the courtesy of reading my profile or acknowledging what it says. There's not a cat in hells chance of me doing that, I'm not here to cater to the whims of random strangers on the Internet. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I bulk deleted over 900 messages yesterday, this is not a stealth boast, because this really is not something to boast about.
What do you expect me to do with that many messages, a very large proportion of which were crude/rude or two/three words? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ultimately it’s a cycle that’s no one’s fault
Mostly men on website
Womens inboxes are flooded
Most messages go unopened
Guys start to realise there’s little point putting effort into messages that mostly go unopened
Guys send messages with less and less effort
Women complain about low effort messages
Here’s my tip OP
If you aren’t willing to go to clubs/socials, the website is a waste of time. Unless you fill a niche like being really attractive + tall + tattoos + hung
The site just doesn’t really work that great for the average guy. There’s too many average guys and very little women willing to meet them.
Make a great profile with good pics. Put in your bio you don’t message first because everyone inbox is so full there’s no point.
The ones that will meet you will message you. Save yourself a bunch of time and effort. "
Honestly this is the best advice, I rarely sent messages and now never send them.
Ill come back every week or so to atleast one message. Offcourse they are suspected catfish or nasty but its something.
Ignore everyone telling you to put effort into a message. Literally no one puts that effort into anything in their life that gives such poor returns. You will end up thinking your talking to yourself or feel just ostracised from the community you thought you would like.
Fab some pics, throw a wink around and go join some other app and come back here every now and again. You may be able to do more socials, people say they are good. A little bit cliquey my side of the pond tho. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Fab prince of bel-air
Now, this is a story all about how
life on fab-can make a man feel down
And I'd like to take a minute
Just sit right there
I'll tell you how many people tell us life ain’t fair!!!
At best the ‘forumites’ will hear this every day
“Why won’t people meet me?, I’ve tried every way! “
Send dicks out, tits out, blowjob on a stool.
Deleted ignore feeling like a fool
Then a couple of messages from a woman wants wood!
Wasted your time, being blocked ain’t good
You’re ego is floored and you feel despair
You say, I’m posting in the forum because fab ain’t fair! "
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"Ultimately it’s a cycle that’s no one’s fault
Mostly men on website
Womens inboxes are flooded
Most messages go unopened
Guys start to realise there’s little point putting effort into messages that mostly go unopened
Guys send messages with less and less effort
Women complain about low effort messages
Here’s my tip OP
If you aren’t willing to go to clubs/socials, the website is a waste of time. Unless you fill a niche like being really attractive + tall + tattoos + hung
The site just doesn’t really work that great for the average guy. There’s too many average guys and very little women willing to meet them.
Make a great profile with good pics. Put in your bio you don’t message first because everyone inbox is so full there’s no point.
The ones that will meet you will message you. Save yourself a bunch of time and effort. "
Think you are spot on with that assessment bro |
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"I bulk deleted over 900 messages yesterday, this is not a stealth boast, because this really is not something to boast about.
What do you expect me to do with that many messages, a very large proportion of which were crude/rude or two/three words?"
So my well written and witty message got lost in that lot Don’t worry I shall copy/paste and resend again |
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"suppose so but sometimes it's blocking that makes.no sence rather get told why then just blocked or ignored when effort goes.in to message complement or whatever"
No one owes you a reply or a reason. |
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By *akie32Man
over a year ago
winchester |
think the mistake the op is making , as do alot of people, is to expect to get meets from fab, i use it as a social platform , mainly to keep in touch with people i have maet, or to find local socials to go to and make contacts that way, but relying on fab , unless you know alot of people is never going to work really. years ago the site was like that, but nowdays its not, too, many people just after a quick fuck, so most swingers just stick to who they already know. |
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"suppose so but sometimes it's blocking that makes.no sence rather get told why then just blocked or ignored when effort goes.in to message complement or whatever"
I block accounts I don't like, even if they've never messaged me.
If there's something they (or I) don't want to see again then a quick block is the simplest way. |
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"suppose so but sometimes it's blocking that makes.no sence rather get told why then just blocked or ignored when effort goes.in to message complement or whatever
I block accounts I don't like, even if they've never messaged me.
If there's something they (or I) don't want to see again then a quick block is the simplest way."
I also do the same, I use the block button as filter. Saves people contacting me who aren’t for me and vice versa |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"OP, my profile clearly states that I'm not meeting and won't reply to messages. Guess what? I still get messages every day.
By your reasoning I should read and reply to those messages even though the people sending them haven't done me the courtesy of reading my profile or acknowledging what it says. There's not a cat in hells chance of me doing that, I'm not here to cater to the whims of random strangers on the Internet. "
We express in our profile that we're not looking and will update profile if and when that changes.
That's it, yet we still receive messages, some stating they've read our profile and think we'll get along.
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By *gent CoulsonMan
over a year ago
Secret hideaway in the pennines |
Easiest thing to do is message someone and then delete it, that way you don't know if it's been read or deleted or ignored, win win all the way.
If you get a reply, it's a bonus, even if it is a no thanks |
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By *adyJayneWoman
over a year ago
Burnleyish (She/They) |
"I check a profile first. If they don't match what I'm looking for and it's clear they've not read my profile I'll delete.
If the profile is blank or the message is 'hi' or the equivalent I delete.
Really sell yourself with your profile and first message. Stand out from the crowd.
I use to reply but I've always had people try and change my mind so now I just delete. Unfortunately the few that would take no for an answer are treated the same way. "
This!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I get it's disheartening OP, especially if you do go to the effort of reading the profile and putting time into what you think is a good message only for it to be unopened.
Personally, I've stopped sending the first message as the definition of insanity etc etc. I'd just work on my profile and if they're interested, they're more than welcome to get in touch with "Wow!" or "Your pics are great" |
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By *adyBugsWoman
over a year ago
cognito |
I’m a bugger for not reading messages.
And it’s honestly down to my mental health capacity to have a full blown conversation in messages. I just don’t have the time or space in my brain to read and answer every one I get and I don’t get very many at all. I am here to take a break and breath away from my day to day reality and I just want forum silliness not serious conversations and expectations put on me that because I answer someone they automatically get a ticket to meet me.
It’s my world and I work it for my own way of life and needs. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"……
Personally, I've stopped sending the first message as the definition of insanity etc etc. I'd just work on my profile and if they're interested, they're more than welcome to get in touch with "Wow!" or "Your pics are great" "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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When I open my filters to single men for a day, I get a flood of bad messages (one liners, dick pics, people being abusive), a few decent messages that show they have read my profile and have made an effort, and maybe one or two that make me think "this is someone who I have a lot in common with".
I could reply to all the decent ones to chat more and see if we click but I dont have the time or energy to do that with all 10 of them. Sometimes, I choose one or 2 to do that with.
I could reply to them all to say "no thanks" (and depending on the message, I do this for some people!) but then they would be able to get through my filters when single men are blocked and Id rather they couldnt. The only way to solve that is to block them individually but if I did that, they wouldnt be able to message me in the future, and if I wanted to message them after reading a forum post, the block would be a huge red flag and would put me off wrongly.
So its better for me to just not reply |
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"I'd also like to humbly brag it's because I get soooooo many messages a day.
Truthfully, I know shocker on here, if I reach double digits that's a busy day!
But, nah I still don't reply. Can't be arsed. "
I get about the same but I do respond to messages where they have made an effort. "Hi" will just get deleted as will any that are x-rated. |
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By *hilloutMan
over a year ago
All over the place! Northwesr, , Southwest |
"Ultimately it’s a cycle that’s no one’s fault
Mostly men on website
Womens inboxes are flooded
Most messages go unopened
Guys start to realise there’s little point putting effort into messages that mostly go unopened
Guys send messages with less and less effort
Women complain about low effort messages
Here’s my tip OP
If you aren’t willing to go to clubs/socials, the website is a waste of time. Unless you fill a niche like being really attractive + tall + tattoos + hung
The site just doesn’t really work that great for the average guy. There’s too many average guys and very little women willing to meet them.
Make a great profile with good pics. Put in your bio you don’t message first because everyone inbox is so full there’s no point.
The ones that will meet you will message you. Save yourself a bunch of time and effort. "
Couldn't have stated better myself |
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