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Let it go....
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How good are you at letting go? Not romantic relationships, but friendship's.
It's something I'm admittedly not the best at doing in daily life. Are there differences between letting go of a romantic relationship over a friendship? And if so why is that? Are you more likely to return to a friendship? What are you thoughts and experiences? |
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Depends on the reason for letting go I guess, I've cut people out quite easily if they've taken me for granted or taken more than they've given.
Others have just drifted away, gone in a different direction with their lives.
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I tend to be very forgiving of friends, maybe because I have few “true” friends that I really trust..
Having said that, I have cut out a few from my life for persistently crossing boundaries and poor behaviour |
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"Depends on the reason for letting go I guess, I've cut people out quite easily if they've taken me for granted or taken more than they've given.
Others have just drifted away, gone in a different direction with their lives.
"
I do have a point where I'm like nope that's enough. But I am bad at thinking I'm being melodramatic, which is quite possibly true on occasion |
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"There would always be a reason so I’m fine with it. Otherwise we wouldn’t be letting go I suppose. "
I need to be more logical, I'm far too emotional with decision making i think. Once I have decided to let go, I've never regretted it though. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I dont have that switch in my brain to just abandon people to fate and forget them and stop caring and my loyalty would never allow it over the last few years iv seen too many close people die on me who il never get to talk to or see again without cutting off the living i will always be there for them thats who i am and always will be if i loved you in any way then im here for you you are family to me  |
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"I tend to be very forgiving of friends, maybe because I have few “true” friends that I really trust..
Having said that, I have cut out a few from my life for persistently crossing boundaries and poor behaviour "
See I'm a bit too forgiving but I will cut people out. Have to ever let someone back in after you've cut them out? |
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"There would always be a reason so I’m fine with it. Otherwise we wouldn’t be letting go I suppose.
I need to be more logical, I'm far too emotional with decision making i think. Once I have decided to let go, I've never regretted it though. "
That’s good though x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I dont have that switch in my brain to just abandon people to fate and forget them and stop caring and my loyalty would never allow it over the last few years iv seen too many close people die on me who il never get to talk to or see again without cutting off the living i will always be there for them thats who i am and always will be if i loved you in any way then im here for you you are family to me "
Now I'm emotional. |
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"I dont have that switch in my brain to just abandon people to fate and forget them and stop caring and my loyalty would never allow it over the last few years iv seen too many close people die on me who il never get to talk to or see again without cutting off the living i will always be there for them thats who i am and always will be if i loved you in any way then im here for you you are family to me "
Virtual hug from me, I hear you and been there and understand |
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"There would always be a reason so I’m fine with it. Otherwise we wouldn’t be letting go I suppose.
I need to be more logical, I'm far too emotional with decision making i think. Once I have decided to let go, I've never regretted it though.
That’s good though x"
Lol just wish it didn't take me so long to get there  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I dont have that switch in my brain to just abandon people to fate and forget them and stop caring and my loyalty would never allow it over the last few years iv seen too many close people die on me who il never get to talk to or see again without cutting off the living i will always be there for them thats who i am and always will be if i loved you in any way then im here for you you are family to me
Virtual hug from me, I hear you and been there and understand "
its ok im not sad but if i take a rogue booby to the head il add it to my concussion test  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I dont have that switch in my brain to just abandon people to fate and forget them and stop caring and my loyalty would never allow it over the last few years iv seen too many close people die on me who il never get to talk to or see again without cutting off the living i will always be there for them thats who i am and always will be if i loved you in any way then im here for you you are family to me
Now I'm emotional."
no need the beauty of being there is i dont have to do anything until i do |
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I’ll give people the benefit of the doubt and chance after chance if we are friends. But if it gets to the point where I feel like I’m damaging myself by keeping them in my life I cut them off. I never look back.  |
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By *ancer36Woman
over a year ago
Stirling |
I’m a great believer in people coming into your life for a reason, some of them are supposed to be there forever and some for specific timeframes. Often in friendships/relationships we are reluctant to let people go because subconsciously we rely on them to provide us with something, love/time/support/security etc however when these friendships end we look back and realise that we need to give ourselves those things in order to grow
I think friendship is a wonderful thing and should be treasured, it’s like anything - don’t expect someone to ‘fit’ through all stages of your life, people change, circumstances /marriage/kids/locations are all factors in the breakdown of friendships none the less they all mean something. I’d try and look at the positive times and smile because our time, however long made me happy xx |
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"I tend to be very forgiving of friends, maybe because I have few “true” friends that I really trust..
Having said that, I have cut out a few from my life for persistently crossing boundaries and poor behaviour
See I'm a bit too forgiving but I will cut people out. Have to ever let someone back in after you've cut them out? "
I did once, it went badly and I soon realised why I cut them out initially |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I feel no guilt if the person has brought any negativity or toxicity to my life … absolutely none.
If a friendship has taken a turn due to mistakes etc .. it can be tougher |
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By *iren4uWoman
over a year ago
jersey channel islands |
My close friend I used to work with and socialise with outside of work was in invited to my wedding..after accepting then arranged /agreed to a holiday with her son and said I'm not coming now. I never spoke to her since that was 9 years ago . Do I regret it no . Am I the asshole??? |
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"I dont have that switch in my brain to just abandon people to fate and forget them and stop caring and my loyalty would never allow it over the last few years iv seen too many close people die on me who il never get to talk to or see again without cutting off the living i will always be there for them thats who i am and always will be if i loved you in any way then im here for you you are family to me
Virtual hug from me, I hear you and been there and understand its ok im not sad but if i take a rogue booby to the head il add it to my concussion test "
No worries I can do that  |
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By *edusa69Woman
over a year ago
Nottingham |
"I’m a great believer in people coming into your life for a reason, some of them are supposed to be there forever and some for specific timeframes. Often in friendships/relationships we are reluctant to let people go because subconsciously we rely on them to provide us with something, love/time/support/security etc however when these friendships end we look back and realise that we need to give ourselves those things in order to grow
I think friendship is a wonderful thing and should be treasured, it’s like anything - don’t expect someone to ‘fit’ through all stages of your life, people change, circumstances /marriage/kids/locations are all factors in the breakdown of friendships none the less they all mean something. I’d try and look at the positive times and smile because our time, however long made me happy xx"
This post is beautiful and you have no idea how much I needed to read something like this right now. Thank you x |
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Tbf our inner circle is so small it's not happened, everyone else is regarded as a acquaintance so there is not a need to have the letting go feelings, a natural fade away is perfectly acceptable.
This question did make me realise that I have probably lost out of a few good friendships, because my mistrust level is so high. Definitely something I need to work on x |
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"I’ll give people the benefit of the doubt and chance after chance if we are friends. But if it gets to the point where I feel like I’m damaging myself by keeping them in my life I cut them off. I never look back. "
Yeah I get that, I think I may be bad at acknowledging when someone is toxic. |
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"I’m a great believer in people coming into your life for a reason, some of them are supposed to be there forever and some for specific timeframes. Often in friendships/relationships we are reluctant to let people go because subconsciously we rely on them to provide us with something, love/time/support/security etc however when these friendships end we look back and realise that we need to give ourselves those things in order to grow
I think friendship is a wonderful thing and should be treasured, it’s like anything - don’t expect someone to ‘fit’ through all stages of your life, people change, circumstances /marriage/kids/locations are all factors in the breakdown of friendships none the less they all mean something. I’d try and look at the positive times and smile because our time, however long made me happy xx"
Beautiful and wise words as always. I agree with treasuring precious moments |
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"I feel no guilt if the person has brought any negativity or toxicity to my life … absolutely none.
If a friendship has taken a turn due to mistakes etc .. it can be tougher "
What happens if the mistakes have a toxic effect on you? This is what I kind of struggle with, I don't think they are being toxic on purpose if that makes sense? |
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By *riel13Woman
over a year ago
Northampton |
If someone lies to me or does something bad that I can't agree with , cut off is clean and quick... Drifting apart, I am still there if they need me... These days I tend to be the same whatever the attachment/relationship |
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"My close friend I used to work with and socialise with outside of work was in invited to my wedding..after accepting then arranged /agreed to a holiday with her son and said I'm not coming now. I never spoke to her since that was 9 years ago . Do I regret it no . Am I the asshole???"
Most definitely not  |
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"Tbf our inner circle is so small it's not happened, everyone else is regarded as a acquaintance so there is not a need to have the letting go feelings, a natural fade away is perfectly acceptable.
This question did make me realise that I have probably lost out of a few good friendships, because my mistrust level is so high. Definitely something I need to work on x"
I get that, sometimes it's hard to let people in. Sometimes it's hard to find the balance after trust has been broken in the past x |
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"If someone lies to me or does something bad that I can't agree with , cut off is clean and quick... Drifting apart, I am still there if they need me... These days I tend to be the same whatever the attachment/relationship"
That's really interesting there's no difference. Guess it's a mindset and knowing your boundaries. I admire that |
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"I’ve got really good at letting them go. I’m sick of being the one to do all the texting, arranging to catch up etc… so I’ve stopped. And heard nothing from some for years
J x"
Oh I did this with a "friend" unless I made contact they didn't bother. Felt too onesided, and I've left it drift. I would still speak to them if they contacted me, but I doubt they will |
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I’ve let go of two female friendships in the last couple of years. Both permanently and both for the right reasons.
I decided I was worth more than the constant head ache of being friends with these people. I was putting way more into one of the friendships than I ever got out and the final straw was when I reached out to this person for mental health help and she completely ignored me. This person had been my very best friend for 7 years and I’d supported her with her mental health issues and massively supported her business (running it for her) when she couldn’t.
The other I couldn’t stand by and allow her to treat her partner (and realised she’d treated previous partners) the way she was - DV. I called the police and then walked away. That was a 20 year friendship. She was like a sister to me.
I’ve felt so much better since closing the doors on those two. A massive weight has been lifted.
It wasn’t easy either time, but needs mist and like I said, I decided I was worth more.
x x x |
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"I’ve let go of two female friendships in the last couple of years. Both permanently and both for the right reasons.
I decided I was worth more than the constant head ache of being friends with these people. I was putting way more into one of the friendships than I ever got out and the final straw was when I reached out to this person for mental health help and she completely ignored me. This person had been my very best friend for 7 years and I’d supported her with her mental health issues and massively supported her business (running it for her) when she couldn’t.
The other I couldn’t stand by and allow her to treat her partner (and realised she’d treated previous partners) the way she was - DV. I called the police and then walked away. That was a 20 year friendship. She was like a sister to me.
I’ve felt so much better since closing the doors on those two. A massive weight has been lifted.
It wasn’t easy either time, but needs mist and like I said, I decided I was worth more.
x x x"
Glad you did let go and move on. It was clearly the right decision for you. |
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By *iren4uWoman
over a year ago
jersey channel islands |
"My close friend I used to work with and socialise with outside of work was in invited to my wedding..after accepting then arranged /agreed to a holiday with her son and said I'm not coming now. I never spoke to her since that was 9 years ago . Do I regret it no . Am I the asshole???
Most definitely not "
Thanks glad you agree. I am the kind of person to make a clean break if something goes wrong..life's to short not to have genuine people around you who care about you. |
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"I’ve let go of two female friendships in the last couple of years. Both permanently and both for the right reasons.
I decided I was worth more than the constant head ache of being friends with these people. I was putting way more into one of the friendships than I ever got out and the final straw was when I reached out to this person for mental health help and she completely ignored me. This person had been my very best friend for 7 years and I’d supported her with her mental health issues and massively supported her business (running it for her) when she couldn’t.
The other I couldn’t stand by and allow her to treat her partner (and realised she’d treated previous partners) the way she was - DV. I called the police and then walked away. That was a 20 year friendship. She was like a sister to me.
I’ve felt so much better since closing the doors on those two. A massive weight has been lifted.
It wasn’t easy either time, but needs mist and like I said, I decided I was worth more.
x x x
Glad you did let go and move on. It was clearly the right decision for you. "
Absolutely! Never been happier and more content! X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I feel no guilt if the person has brought any negativity or toxicity to my life … absolutely none.
If a friendship has taken a turn due to mistakes etc .. it can be tougher
What happens if the mistakes have a toxic effect on you? This is what I kind of struggle with, I don't think they are being toxic on purpose if that makes sense? "
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Freedom and mental well being for yourself and for others.
Letting go is libaration and freeing from the human shackles we place upon ourselves and others.
Everything has a time and date shelf life.
|
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By *ancer36Woman
over a year ago
Stirling |
"I’m a great believer in people coming into your life for a reason, some of them are supposed to be there forever and some for specific timeframes. Often in friendships/relationships we are reluctant to let people go because subconsciously we rely on them to provide us with something, love/time/support/security etc however when these friendships end we look back and realise that we need to give ourselves those things in order to grow
I think friendship is a wonderful thing and should be treasured, it’s like anything - don’t expect someone to ‘fit’ through all stages of your life, people change, circumstances /marriage/kids/locations are all factors in the breakdown of friendships none the less they all mean something. I’d try and look at the positive times and smile because our time, however long made me happy xx
This post is beautiful and you have no idea how much I needed to read something like this right now. Thank you x"
Aw you’re very welcome lovely. Xx |
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I am very good at letting go though.
