FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Undateable/unfuckable
Undateable/unfuckable
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Do you get to a certain age and accept that your both?
Being over your age range, and those of many others, it’s started to dawn on me that maybe you do.
You are a long way off that age btw"
Ah I think I've hit it |
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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago
Gapping Fanny |
Undateable - yes. Too set in your ways, know what you want, wont settle or compromise, have your own nuances
Unfuckable - depends. Its about finding someone you want to fuck that wants to fuck you. If what you want isn’t compatible with what wants you, and you are not willing to address that, then your options remain low. |
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40 used to seem like the main cutoff age for lots of profiles...then suddenly 45 was the new 40- coincidently, just after i turned 46 
While you're always fuckable on here, it will slowly shift towards the interest just being mainly from those you rather not  |
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By *viatrixWoman
over a year ago
Redhill |
"As a woman you will never reach an age where a guy doesnt want to fuck you. Plenty of guys love old women "
We’re old/elderly … 
For some reason no one looked at me in my 20s… and now I am having the time of my life!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Do you get to a certain age and accept that your both?
"
Never. No matter how much rejection we experience. There is ALWAYS someone who is attracted to you regardless xx |
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"Do you get to a certain age and accept that your both?
"
Maybe you get to a certain point in life rather than a certain age, when you’ve had so many knock backs and disappointments. But that is generally when life surprises you…from personal experience anyway…
From your profile you are definitely very fuckable though |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Do you get to a certain age and accept that your both?
"
I can't believe you're referring to yourself here? A quick look through your pictures and you are both very dateable and extremely fuckable. |
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By *ynecplCouple
over a year ago
Newcastle upon Tyne |
I think the optimum age for the site it around 40. As we have gotten older it has become harder to attract those that we would like to meet and a lot of those who express a wish to meet us are not to our taste. It is the way things are as we all age.
We have already set our leaving date for when Alexis hits 60. |
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"Do you get to a certain age and accept that your both?
"
I won't accept that I am too old for either. I'm going down fighting and so should you OP. You are neither of those "un-ables". Forget dating as its just to stressful, just fuck and get what you want. You never know, you might find the right person for dating. |
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"I think the optimum age for the site it around 40. As we have gotten older it has become harder to attract those that we would like to meet and a lot of those who express a wish to meet us are not to our taste. It is the way things are as we all age.
We have already set our leaving date for when Alexis hits 60."
This is 100 percent true..... once you approach 50 the pool of people looking for your age shrinks drastically as a guy or a couple.... |
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"Why oh why are so many people so down on themselves on here?"
I agree! It’s draining. It’s all I see on here lately and why I’m not on here much.
Op - I’ve no idea. I would suggest try and be more positive. If you think like that you may come across like that which probably doesn’t help x |
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I don't agree that age has anything to do with it. I didn't join here until i was 52 and age has never been an issue or even a topic for discussion.
If you convince yourself that people aren't interested because of your age or any other issue and have decided before chatting to them that they won't be interested, that level of negativity will carry through into each and every conversation and that in itself will be the reason people aren't interested. |
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"As a woman you will never reach an age where a guy doesnt want to fuck you. Plenty of guys love old women
We’re old/elderly …
For some reason no one looked at me in my 20s… and now I am having the time of my life! "
You are in no way old, or elderly!
I’m pretty sure that people looked when you were in your 20s too, but maybe you just didn’t see them?
Regardless, enjoy now! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm five years older than you and I think I've had more interest since I turned 50 than I ever had. So not unfuckable it would appear even if I feel that way sometimes.
I think I may be undateable but I doubt it's my age that's the problem. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Absolutely not. 
There are always people on the same boat in your own age bracket.. we age together. "
Agree with you same what i was about to post there always somebody out there for us and maybe even more than one if we lucky lol |
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I would disagree, I'm 45, that's obvious on here but in real life I look a bit younger, but it's made no difference to my "appeal" and I've probably been more active in the last year than say my late 30s.
As long as they don't go on about it, I've embraced the "older woman" thing. I do like setting them straight on a few things, but I see it as an opportunity to educate and learn.
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By *JB1954Man
over a year ago
Reading |
I am a male and aged 68. There are very few females on here looking for someone my age. Yes I do get some profile views . Sometimes send message or even get a message. I do live in hope though. It is a numbers game on here for males. So my age is at the bottom of requirements etc for most females. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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For what it's worth I think it's the negative mindset that makes someone harder to date and less attractive. I don't get people who are so down on themselves. It's all in your hands to change it  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"For what it's worth I think it's the negative mindset that makes someone harder to date and less attractive. I don't get people who are so down on themselves. It's all in your hands to change it "
Couldn’t agree more at the moment. My confidence about how I look is soaring, and with it, seemingly, comes attention from others. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"For what it's worth I think it's the negative mindset that makes someone harder to date and less attractive. I don't get people who are so down on themselves. It's all in your hands to change it "
I agree with you. I am very down on myself and I can see that makes me less attractive. I'm not sure why you don't get it though? There are many reasons that people have low self esteem. Often going back years and years. Not simple to fix - it's a not a switch you turn on. |
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"For what it's worth I think it's the negative mindset that makes someone harder to date and less attractive. I don't get people who are so down on themselves. It's all in your hands to change it
I agree with you. I am very down on myself and I can see that makes me less attractive. I'm not sure why you don't get it though? There are many reasons that people have low self esteem. Often going back years and years. Not simple to fix - it's a not a switch you turn on. "
It's not an instant fix for sure but there has has to be a turning point, you've got to start believing and then the rest can follow. |
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"Undateable - yes. Too set in your ways, know what you want, wont settle or compromise, have your own nuances
Unfuckable - depends. Its about finding someone you want to fuck that wants to fuck you. If what you want isn’t compatible with what wants you, and you are not willing to address that, then your options remain low."
This is a great answer. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"For what it's worth I think it's the negative mindset that makes someone harder to date and less attractive. I don't get people who are so down on themselves. It's all in your hands to change it
I agree with you. I am very down on myself and I can see that makes me less attractive. I'm not sure why you don't get it though? There are many reasons that people have low self esteem. Often going back years and years. Not simple to fix - it's a not a switch you turn on.
It's not an instant fix for sure but there has has to be a turning point, you've got to start believing and then the rest can follow."
Why do you have to start believing if you think it's false? |
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"For what it's worth I think it's the negative mindset that makes someone harder to date and less attractive. I don't get people who are so down on themselves. It's all in your hands to change it
I agree with you. I am very down on myself and I can see that makes me less attractive. I'm not sure why you don't get it though? There are many reasons that people have low self esteem. Often going back years and years. Not simple to fix - it's a not a switch you turn on.
It's not an instant fix for sure but there has has to be a turning point, you've got to start believing and then the rest can follow.
Why do you have to start believing if you think it's false?"
If you can't believe in yourself, who else will? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"For what it's worth I think it's the negative mindset that makes someone harder to date and less attractive. I don't get people who are so down on themselves. It's all in your hands to change it
I agree with you. I am very down on myself and I can see that makes me less attractive. I'm not sure why you don't get it though? There are many reasons that people have low self esteem. Often going back years and years. Not simple to fix - it's a not a switch you turn on.
It's not an instant fix for sure but there has has to be a turning point, you've got to start believing and then the rest can follow.
Why do you have to start believing if you think it's false?
If you can't believe in yourself, who else will?"
Why should it matter if other people believe in me? I'm not Tinkerbell. |
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"For what it's worth I think it's the negative mindset that makes someone harder to date and less attractive. I don't get people who are so down on themselves. It's all in your hands to change it
I agree with you. I am very down on myself and I can see that makes me less attractive. I'm not sure why you don't get it though? There are many reasons that people have low self esteem. Often going back years and years. Not simple to fix - it's a not a switch you turn on.
It's not an instant fix for sure but there has has to be a turning point, you've got to start believing and then the rest can follow.
Why do you have to start believing if you think it's false?
If you can't believe in yourself, who else will?
Why should it matter if other people believe in me? I'm not Tinkerbell. "
Spoiler alert!!!!! |
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"For what it's worth I think it's the negative mindset that makes someone harder to date and less attractive. I don't get people who are so down on themselves. It's all in your hands to change it
I agree with you. I am very down on myself and I can see that makes me less attractive. I'm not sure why you don't get it though? There are many reasons that people have low self esteem. Often going back years and years. Not simple to fix - it's a not a switch you turn on.
It's not an instant fix for sure but there has has to be a turning point, you've got to start believing and then the rest can follow.
Why do you have to start believing if you think it's false?
If you can't believe in yourself, who else will?
Why should it matter if other people believe in me? I'm not Tinkerbell. "
This purely about confidence though. How can you be confident without belief? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"For what it's worth I think it's the negative mindset that makes someone harder to date and less attractive. I don't get people who are so down on themselves. It's all in your hands to change it
I agree with you. I am very down on myself and I can see that makes me less attractive. I'm not sure why you don't get it though? There are many reasons that people have low self esteem. Often going back years and years. Not simple to fix - it's a not a switch you turn on.
It's not an instant fix for sure but there has has to be a turning point, you've got to start believing and then the rest can follow.
Why do you have to start believing if you think it's false?
If you can't believe in yourself, who else will?
Why should it matter if other people believe in me? I'm not Tinkerbell.
Spoiler alert!!!!!"
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"For what it's worth I think it's the negative mindset that makes someone harder to date and less attractive. I don't get people who are so down on themselves. It's all in your hands to change it
I agree with you. I am very down on myself and I can see that makes me less attractive. I'm not sure why you don't get it though? There are many reasons that people have low self esteem. Often going back years and years. Not simple to fix - it's a not a switch you turn on.
It's not an instant fix for sure but there has has to be a turning point, you've got to start believing and then the rest can follow.
Why do you have to start believing if you think it's false?
If you can't believe in yourself, who else will?
Why should it matter if other people believe in me? I'm not Tinkerbell.
This purely about confidence though. How can you be confident without belief? "
I just answered your q. Why do I need other people to believe in me? So it doesn't matter if I do. I see this all the time and it makes no sense. |
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"For what it's worth I think it's the negative mindset that makes someone harder to date and less attractive. I don't get people who are so down on themselves. It's all in your hands to change it
I agree with you. I am very down on myself and I can see that makes me less attractive. I'm not sure why you don't get it though? There are many reasons that people have low self esteem. Often going back years and years. Not simple to fix - it's a not a switch you turn on.
It's not an instant fix for sure but there has has to be a turning point, you've got to start believing and then the rest can follow.
Why do you have to start believing if you think it's false?
If you can't believe in yourself, who else will?
Why should it matter if other people believe in me? I'm not Tinkerbell.
This purely about confidence though. How can you be confident without belief?
I just answered your q. Why do I need other people to believe in me? So it doesn't matter if I do. I see this all the time and it makes no sense. "
I never said you "needed" others to believe in you but if you are negative then others will feel your negativity. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"For what it's worth I think it's the negative mindset that makes someone harder to date and less attractive. I don't get people who are so down on themselves. It's all in your hands to change it
I agree with you. I am very down on myself and I can see that makes me less attractive. I'm not sure why you don't get it though? There are many reasons that people have low self esteem. Often going back years and years. Not simple to fix - it's a not a switch you turn on.
It's not an instant fix for sure but there has has to be a turning point, you've got to start believing and then the rest can follow.
Why do you have to start believing if you think it's false?
If you can't believe in yourself, who else will?
Why should it matter if other people believe in me? I'm not Tinkerbell.
This purely about confidence though. How can you be confident without belief?
I just answered your q. Why do I need other people to believe in me? So it doesn't matter if I do. I see this all the time and it makes no sense.
I never said you "needed" others to believe in you but if you are negative then others will feel your negativity. "
Yes, I know. That's why I said I am undateable? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Is 33 too young to be feeling like I’m undateable/unfuckable?
 "
Yes. FGS man it's ridiculously young! It's this bloody site which makes people feel that way. |
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"For what it's worth I think it's the negative mindset that makes someone harder to date and less attractive. I don't get people who are so down on themselves. It's all in your hands to change it
I agree with you. I am very down on myself and I can see that makes me less attractive. I'm not sure why you don't get it though? There are many reasons that people have low self esteem. Often going back years and years. Not simple to fix - it's a not a switch you turn on.
It's not an instant fix for sure but there has has to be a turning point, you've got to start believing and then the rest can follow.
Why do you have to start believing if you think it's false?
If you can't believe in yourself, who else will?
Why should it matter if other people believe in me? I'm not Tinkerbell.
This purely about confidence though. How can you be confident without belief?
I just answered your q. Why do I need other people to believe in me? So it doesn't matter if I do. I see this all the time and it makes no sense.
I never said you "needed" others to believe in you but if you are negative then others will feel your negativity.
Yes, I know. That's why I said I am undateable? "
Because you can't or won't help yourself? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"For what it's worth I think it's the negative mindset that makes someone harder to date and less attractive. I don't get people who are so down on themselves. It's all in your hands to change it
I agree with you. I am very down on myself and I can see that makes me less attractive. I'm not sure why you don't get it though? There are many reasons that people have low self esteem. Often going back years and years. Not simple to fix - it's a not a switch you turn on.
It's not an instant fix for sure but there has has to be a turning point, you've got to start believing and then the rest can follow.
Why do you have to start believing if you think it's false?
If you can't believe in yourself, who else will?
Why should it matter if other people believe in me? I'm not Tinkerbell.
This purely about confidence though. How can you be confident without belief?
I just answered your q. Why do I need other people to believe in me? So it doesn't matter if I do. I see this all the time and it makes no sense.
I never said you "needed" others to believe in you but if you are negative then others will feel your negativity.
Yes, I know. That's why I said I am undateable?
Because you can't or won't help yourself?"
Why does it bother you if someone else has little confidence? I see people all the time on here who struggle with it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"For what it's worth I think it's the negative mindset that makes someone harder to date and less attractive. I don't get people who are so down on themselves. It's all in your hands to change it
I agree with you. I am very down on myself and I can see that makes me less attractive. I'm not sure why you don't get it though? There are many reasons that people have low self esteem. Often going back years and years. Not simple to fix - it's a not a switch you turn on.
It's not an instant fix for sure but there has has to be a turning point, you've got to start believing and then the rest can follow.
Why do you have to start believing if you think it's false?
If you can't believe in yourself, who else will?
Why should it matter if other people believe in me? I'm not Tinkerbell.
This purely about confidence though. How can you be confident without belief?
I just answered your q. Why do I need other people to believe in me? So it doesn't matter if I do. I see this all the time and it makes no sense.
I never said you "needed" others to believe in you but if you are negative then others will feel your negativity.
Yes, I know. That's why I said I am undateable?
Because you can't or won't help yourself?
Why does it bother you if someone else has little confidence? I see people all the time on here who struggle with it. "
We obviously need fixing |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"For what it's worth I think it's the negative mindset that makes someone harder to date and less attractive. I don't get people who are so down on themselves. It's all in your hands to change it
I agree with you. I am very down on myself and I can see that makes me less attractive. I'm not sure why you don't get it though? There are many reasons that people have low self esteem. Often going back years and years. Not simple to fix - it's a not a switch you turn on.
It's not an instant fix for sure but there has has to be a turning point, you've got to start believing and then the rest can follow.
Why do you have to start believing if you think it's false?
If you can't believe in yourself, who else will?
Why should it matter if other people believe in me? I'm not Tinkerbell.
This purely about confidence though. How can you be confident without belief?
I just answered your q. Why do I need other people to believe in me? So it doesn't matter if I do. I see this all the time and it makes no sense.
I never said you "needed" others to believe in you but if you are negative then others will feel your negativity.
Yes, I know. That's why I said I am undateable?
Because you can't or won't help yourself?
Why does it bother you if someone else has little confidence? I see people all the time on here who struggle with it.
We obviously need fixing "
Is that it? Huh. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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we have friends who are in there late 70s who helped us get into swinging 28+ years ago they are still meeting and playing regular by regular i mean weekly they both look in there early 60s see see them in clubs often .... we also know of a 84 year old lady who vists one club and she brill very picky but always seems to get who she want .... age is just a number dont forget as you get older those around you do too so if your a swinger and know loads then you carry on...
its only a problem for the guys for the same reason for most guys the sheer number of you yeah sure alot of women and couples will give in but also a lot will carry on ... |
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"For what it's worth I think it's the negative mindset that makes someone harder to date and less attractive. I don't get people who are so down on themselves. It's all in your hands to change it
I agree with you. I am very down on myself and I can see that makes me less attractive. I'm not sure why you don't get it though? There are many reasons that people have low self esteem. Often going back years and years. Not simple to fix - it's a not a switch you turn on.
It's not an instant fix for sure but there has has to be a turning point, you've got to start believing and then the rest can follow.
Why do you have to start believing if you think it's false?
If you can't believe in yourself, who else will?
Why should it matter if other people believe in me? I'm not Tinkerbell.
This purely about confidence though. How can you be confident without belief?
I just answered your q. Why do I need other people to believe in me? So it doesn't matter if I do. I see this all the time and it makes no sense.
I never said you "needed" others to believe in you but if you are negative then others will feel your negativity.
Yes, I know. That's why I said I am undateable?
Because you can't or won't help yourself?
Why does it bother you if someone else has little confidence? I see people all the time on here who struggle with it. "
Coming from someone with low confidence like myself, maybe I'm hoping that what I'm trying to do for me isn't just a load of rubbish. |
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"Is 33 too young to be feeling like I’m undateable/unfuckable?
Yes. FGS man it's ridiculously young! It's this bloody site which makes people feel that way. "
To be fair, in my personal experience it isn’t just this site, my confidence was shot to pieces when an ex decided to get abusive, so really working on moving past that and dealing with it.
That and realising my own self worth. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"For what it's worth I think it's the negative mindset that makes someone harder to date and less attractive. I don't get people who are so down on themselves. It's all in your hands to change it
I agree with you. I am very down on myself and I can see that makes me less attractive. I'm not sure why you don't get it though? There are many reasons that people have low self esteem. Often going back years and years. Not simple to fix - it's a not a switch you turn on.
It's not an instant fix for sure but there has has to be a turning point, you've got to start believing and then the rest can follow.
Why do you have to start believing if you think it's false?
If you can't believe in yourself, who else will?
Why should it matter if other people believe in me? I'm not Tinkerbell.
This purely about confidence though. How can you be confident without belief?
I just answered your q. Why do I need other people to believe in me? So it doesn't matter if I do. I see this all the time and it makes no sense.
I never said you "needed" others to believe in you but if you are negative then others will feel your negativity.
Yes, I know. That's why I said I am undateable?
Because you can't or won't help yourself?
Why does it bother you if someone else has little confidence? I see people all the time on here who struggle with it.
Coming from someone with low confidence like myself, maybe I'm hoping that what I'm trying to do for me isn't just a load of rubbish. "
Ah. Well what works for one person may not work for another. I hope your approach helps you. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Is 33 too young to be feeling like I’m undateable/unfuckable?
Yes. FGS man it's ridiculously young! It's this bloody site which makes people feel that way.
To be fair, in my personal experience it isn’t just this site, my confidence was shot to pieces when an ex decided to get abusive, so really working on moving past that and dealing with it.
That and realising my own self worth. "
Ah, I commiserate with your experience  . I am four years out of it myself and it still has an effect. Turning off their voice in your head is tough! I wish you well with it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"For what it's worth I think it's the negative mindset that makes someone harder to date and less attractive. I don't get people who are so down on themselves. It's all in your hands to change it
I agree with you. I am very down on myself and I can see that makes me less attractive. I'm not sure why you don't get it though? There are many reasons that people have low self esteem. Often going back years and years. Not simple to fix - it's a not a switch you turn on. "
I don't get it as much as negative people probably don't get why I'm so up myself. That's how it works I think. |
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By *ihmMan
over a year ago
West Wales |
"Do you get to a certain age and accept that your both?
"
You must be digging for compliments surely? Because I don't think you are at an age where you have to start worrying. Assuming there isn't some deep seated cuntery going on beneath your eminently fuckable exterior you don't have to worry about either and then it wouldn't be age related anyway. An inability to get laid or have/sustain a relationship has nothing to do with age. I would say in fact, the quality of both has increased with age, for me personally.
My grandmother died suddenly at eighty one, her biggest complaint towards the end was that her recent illness had caused the longest dry spell of her life, a whole month! She should be an inspiration to everyone who wants to age disgracefully /salute |
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"Do you get to a certain age and accept that your both?
"
Throughout my adult life I've alternated between the two; I think confidence and general happiness during any particular point in your life affects both.
I doubt age has much to do with it.
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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
"Do you get to a certain age and accept that your both?
"
I’ve been told a few times recently I’m undateable but definitely not unfukkable.
You just gotta really be into women and enjoy it all , not just sex but the whole journey, if you lose the excitement and energy for that, you will lose your mojo & for sure you will become unfuckable. |
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I always feel this way and when I get a meet or dates and people want me I get nervous cos find strange anyone would even want me.
When I do get meet or anything I probably work harder to please and pleasure cos am greatful anyone would want this old fat guy. |
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"Do you get to a certain age and accept that your both?
Being over your age range, and those of many others, it’s started to dawn on me that maybe you do.
You are a long way off that age btw
Ah I think I've hit it "
There no way you have hot that age op |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Do you get to a certain age and accept that your both?
You must be digging for compliments surely? Because I don't think you are at an age where you have to start worrying. Assuming there isn't some deep seated cuntery going on beneath your eminently fuckable exterior you don't have to worry about either and then it wouldn't be age related anyway. An inability to get laid or have/sustain a relationship has nothing to do with age. I would say in fact, the quality of both has increased with age, for me personally.
My grandmother died suddenly at eighty one, her biggest complaint towards the end was that her recent illness had caused the longest dry spell of her life, a whole month! She should be an inspiration to everyone who wants to age disgracefully /salute"
Definitely didn't start this thread for compliments, it was a genuine question!
Low confidence/self esteem/negativity has a lot to do with it and over the years I have worked on it , I'm still working on it, since I posted I've thought about the undateable/ unfuckable bit.
When it comes to the sex side of guess im picky and I've learnt that I can enjoy sex and should enjoy it when was in my 20s had meaningless 1 night stands and I don't want that crap sex again. So I've realised .not unfuckable I just am a fussy fucker lol |
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By *orl1971Couple
over a year ago
Glasgow |
More than age we think it all depends on how you look after yourself and present yourself as well as what people on the site are looking for.
The ‘interesting’ thing is that most profiles have bigger leeway on lower ages than higher ages. Someone whose 45 might have 25-50 as their age range where they’d meet someone 20 years younger but only 5 years older. That seems very common.
Everyone is fuckable it’s just finding the right people. |
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