FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Boys, promise to be honest with me?
Boys, promise to be honest with me?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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When did you last cry? It’s been months since I last cried. And before that it was years. And I’ve been really upset in that time but the tears don’t fall. Even when I wish they would. Anyone else feel broken like that lol? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Almost a couple of years ago now, I would say. I used to cry quite a bit when I was younger, but not really done much since"
Bro, it’s so weird. I used to cry all the time as well. Now I struggle to? Have you felt the need to cry? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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When my dalmatian was put to sleep I really cried, it was the hardest thing to do as been my best friend for 15 years.
Then on the way out a bunch of hoodrats thought they take the piss, I flipped and smacked one with a fire extinguisher that was at the store entrance and walked away, not sure what I did the rest of that day or week |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Lost contact with my first childhood girlfriend after moving from the area. Discovered from her best friend recently she had actually passed away aged 25."
That’s awful. Sorry to hear that. I’m glad you were able to feel the emotions though  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"When my dalmatian was put to sleep I really cried, it was the hardest thing to do as been my best friend for 15 years.
Then on the way out a bunch of hoodrats thought they take the piss, I flipped and smacked one with a fire extinguisher that was at the store entrance and walked away, not sure what I did the rest of that day or week"
Shit. Sorry about your doggo pal. That’s tough. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I cry all the time, the slightest thing sets me off. Even the Lloyd's advert makes me well up. Guess i'm either a big softy or i just love horses.  "
This is good though. I think it’s good to be able to cry more. And to feel emotion like that. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I never cried from early teens onwards even at the most horrendous event. But now as I get older I well up at undercover boss or equally stupid TV"
I hear that. I have been struggling to cry for years. Undercover boss is emotional though |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Almost a couple of years ago now, I would say. I used to cry quite a bit when I was younger, but not really done much since
Bro, it’s so weird. I used to cry all the time as well. Now I struggle to? Have you felt the need to cry?"
I don't think so, I feel like my mentality has changed a lot as I got older. Even with serious life events, I've been trying to get things back to normal as quickly as possible as opposed to processing it which crying is part of. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Almost a couple of years ago now, I would say. I used to cry quite a bit when I was younger, but not really done much since
Bro, it’s so weird. I used to cry all the time as well. Now I struggle to? Have you felt the need to cry?
I don't think so, I feel like my mentality has changed a lot as I got older. Even with serious life events, I've been trying to get things back to normal as quickly as possible as opposed to processing it which crying is part of."
I hear that. It’s like a coping mechanism maybe? What works for you though, works. Keep doing it |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I watch, This Is Us; Tears guaranteed every time."
I have heard this show does that to the toughest of people. Maybe I need to watch it to get the waterworks going. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"About two months ago when we had the family dog put down, before that i don't remember. "
Death really gets to us. Sorry to hear that. . Do you feel like other things, not death, don’t hurt as much? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"When did you last cry? It’s been months since I last cried. And before that it was years. And I’ve been really upset in that time but the tears don’t fall. Even when I wish they would. Anyone else feel broken like that lol? "
Saturday, it's been a stressful week. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I got a bit emotional watching the end of "Spider-man no way home" ...my eyes were watering a little bit, but only for a second.
Crying...actually crying  it's been 2 years "
I hear that. I welled up watching Ozark the other day but nothing came of it.
How comes so long between crying? Have you wanted to? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"When did you last cry? It’s been months since I last cried. And before that it was years. And I’ve been really upset in that time but the tears don’t fall. Even when I wish they would. Anyone else feel broken like that lol?
Saturday, it's been a stressful week. "
Do you feel better for it. I hope you’re ok |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"When did you last cry? It’s been months since I last cried. And before that it was years. And I’ve been really upset in that time but the tears don’t fall. Even when I wish they would. Anyone else feel broken like that lol?
Saturday, it's been a stressful week.
Do you feel better for it. I hope you’re ok "
Fine now, it's good to let it out and things are never as bad as you fear. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"When did you last cry? It’s been months since I last cried. And before that it was years. And I’ve been really upset in that time but the tears don’t fall. Even when I wish they would. Anyone else feel broken like that lol?
Saturday, it's been a stressful week.
Do you feel better for it. I hope you’re ok
Fine now, it's good to let it out and things are never as bad as you fear. "
I really struggle to. I sit there with it. I talk about it. I feel it coming. Then nothing. I don’t get it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This year is tear free so far. So I am lucky. 
Nice! Is that because you haven’t been able to or because you’ve not needed to? "
I have not needed to. Time does heal, you still see the wounds, but it doesn’t sting as much. That’s how I see it.
It’s actually mental health month and I feel lucky when I hear other stories. |
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"About two months ago when we had the family dog put down, before that i don't remember.
Death really gets to us. Sorry to hear that. . Do you feel like other things, not death, don’t hurt as much?"
No they don't hurt as much, because in most cases they're fixable in some way or another. |
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Mr4 here...Cried when my my Mum died and cried because i couldn't attend her funeral and cried in anger when ...well you can all guess the reason why ? and had afew tears last night due to seeing a very very very special Lady ( my sister in law) due to remembering all the 100% amazing things she'd done when i was a child along with my dear departed brother !! and all the amazing memories they'd given me and my siblings and afew tears on Brighton seafront due to some truly great memories and a dear friend and afew tears seeing Gary Numan live ( at last )  |
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I cry quite easily...often at silly things (songs etc), but then don't cry when you might expect it.
I had a very brief cry yesterday - I caught a bit of 'Three Men and a Baby' on TV (tangent: 80s' classic!) and it just brought back some really happy memories about childhood and some sadder memories about adulthood and I was off. Not for long, but there you go. |
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By *agic.MMan
over a year ago
Orpington |
"I got a bit emotional watching the end of "Spider-man no way home" ...my eyes were watering a little bit, but only for a second.
Crying...actually crying it's been 2 years
I hear that. I welled up watching Ozark the other day but nothing came of it.
How comes so long between crying? Have you wanted to? "
Not sure if I wanted to, but definitely needed to...however there's just an emotional disconnect in me regarding crying...it's like for almost 30 years I was told that men don't cry, or that I need to man up, and most times I showed sadness and tears I've been made to feel as O should be ashamed about it... and then about 5 years ago society just decided that it's actually OK for me to show tears...I'm still trying to adapt to the change, I guess |
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"When my dalmatian was put to sleep I really cried, it was the hardest thing to do as been my best friend for 15 years.
Then on the way out a bunch of hoodrats thought they take the piss, I flipped and smacked one with a fire extinguisher that was at the store entrance and walked away, not sure what I did the rest of that day or week"
 |
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Last week in truth. Sad times.
Most I’ve ever cried was at a mates funeral long ago now, my (now ex) wifes school friend & he became a great family friend who everyone liked. He left a lovely wife, a one year old baby & he was only 26.
I cried all through the funeral, the wake & into the evening. An awful day. I may have to change the first line to today now.
Guys, talk more, it does help!
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I last properly cried after an orgasm with C a while back  I guess it was a wave of emotions, we were developing our feelings, the intensity of the sex and the closeness I felt was powerful…I’m not sure C knew what to do so we hugged it out 
I tend to shed a tear when I’m happy with something…I’ve surprised C or we’ve done something together that’s been special…just my emotions spilling out.. 
K |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Only 2 things in my life ever made me feel the need one was 30 years ago another was too many losses of people i was close to but rest assured il never let anyone close enough to make me feel that vulnerable again its horrible makes you tired and gives you a blocked nose and everything |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Watched the fault in our stars for the first time last week… blubbering mess ensued. "
Movies are a real killer. The Fountain (Rachel Weiss/Hugh Jackman) had me sobbing uncontrollably at the end.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I had tears in my eyes watching the conclusion of Picard S2 last night , but if you mean actual whole body sobbing that'll be 2015. There was a lot of heartbreak, change and the death of a loved one that year. Sobbing was a daily occurrence for a while. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Haven't done that for a while. Was very close to it a few months back when I opened up about my past though. It was obviously to the other person that it was tough for me and I got a lovely cuddle afterwards |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"This year is tear free so far. So I am lucky.
Nice! Is that because you haven’t been able to or because you’ve not needed to? I have not needed to. Time does heal, you still see the wounds, but it doesn’t sting as much. That’s how I see it.
It’s actually mental health month and I feel lucky when I hear other stories. "
This is beautiful. Thank you |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"About two months ago when we had the family dog put down, before that i don't remember.
Death really gets to us. Sorry to hear that. . Do you feel like other things, not death, don’t hurt as much?
No they don't hurt as much, because in most cases they're fixable in some way or another. "
I hear that. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I cry quite easily...often at silly things (songs etc), but then don't cry when you might expect it.
I had a very brief cry yesterday - I caught a bit of 'Three Men and a Baby' on TV (tangent: 80s' classic!) and it just brought back some really happy memories about childhood and some sadder memories about adulthood and I was off. Not for long, but there you go. "
I get that. Sometimes when you’re expecting a cry you can’t get it out. Maybe because you’re so on top of coping with those things that you manage those times well? It’s good to be able to get it out though I think |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I got a bit emotional watching the end of "Spider-man no way home" ...my eyes were watering a little bit, but only for a second.
Crying...actually crying it's been 2 years
I hear that. I welled up watching Ozark the other day but nothing came of it.
How comes so long between crying? Have you wanted to?
Not sure if I wanted to, but definitely needed to...however there's just an emotional disconnect in me regarding crying...it's like for almost 30 years I was told that men don't cry, or that I need to man up, and most times I showed sadness and tears I've been made to feel as O should be ashamed about it... and then about 5 years ago society just decided that it's actually OK for me to show tears...I'm still trying to adapt to the change, I guess "
I hear that. That’s real. It’s hard to cry when you’re socialised into thinking that you shouldn’t cry. It’s a massive unlearning and a lot of work. I feel like I’ve unlearned a lot of the internalised bad gender box shit but I still struggle to cry. It’s a journey. Hopefully we get there though. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Watched the fault in our stars for the first time last week… blubbering mess ensued. "
Ooo I have heard this also has that effect on people. Glad you are able to cry at films and things like that though. And that it’s so recent. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Last week in truth. Sad times.
Most I’ve ever cried was at a mates funeral long ago now, my (now ex) wifes school friend & he became a great family friend who everyone liked. He left a lovely wife, a one year old baby & he was only 26.
I cried all through the funeral, the wake & into the evening. An awful day. I may have to change the first line to today now.
Guys, talk more, it does help!
"
Bless you that sounds like a tough time. Glad you were able to feel that emotion though. And that you still do. You’re so right, talking does help. I think being able to cry helps too. |
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"When my dalmatian was put to sleep I really cried, it was the hardest thing to do as been my best friend for 15 years.
Then on the way out a bunch of hoodrats thought they take the piss, I flipped and smacked one with a fire extinguisher that was at the store entrance and walked away, not sure what I did the rest of that day or week"
Been there walking two of my babies over the rainbow bridge. I cried so much after the last one i could not possibly have another. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Rarely ball up though wish could let it out
Think last time got teary was watching the repair shop, some of the stories or family connections can set me teary. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I last properly cried after an orgasm with C a while back I guess it was a wave of emotions, we were developing our feelings, the intensity of the sex and the closeness I felt was powerful…I’m not sure C knew what to do so we hugged it out
I tend to shed a tear when I’m happy with something…I’ve surprised C or we’ve done something together that’s been special…just my emotions spilling out..
K"
K, this is beautiful. Thanks for sharing. I’m so happy to hear that you can be so open with your emotions, especially with your partner. My partner is the only person that’s seen me cry since I was like 15. You’re strong. So strong. Keep letting them spill out, gorgeous man. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Only 2 things in my life ever made me feel the need one was 30 years ago another was too many losses of people i was close to but rest assured il never let anyone close enough to make me feel that vulnerable again its horrible makes you tired and gives you a blocked nose and everything "
It does all those things. But it makes you feel lighter I find. And makes you feel better in time. It’s a part of getting through tough times I think |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"About 4 years ago. Life just got on top of me. I was standing in my kitchen and just broke down and collapsed to the floor"
Man, that’s deep. I know life can be a lot cant it? I am glad you were able to let all those feelings out. And I hope it helped you process and get through them. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I broke yesterday, I lost access to my son due to an alcoholic parent I’m having to care for because it’s not safe my kid being around him now"
I’m really sorry man. Really sorry. Just sending lots of love. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I had tears in my eyes watching the conclusion of Picard S2 last night , but if you mean actual whole body sobbing that'll be 2015. There was a lot of heartbreak, change and the death of a loved one that year. Sobbing was a daily occurrence for a while. "
Long time ago. But I hope if you needed to let it out you could. Sorry you had a tough time but hope the crying helped you through it. Shows strength. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Haven't done that for a while. Was very close to it a few months back when I opened up about my past though. It was obviously to the other person that it was tough for me and I got a lovely cuddle afterwards "
Being embraced when you’re nearing tears or showing emotion like that is so important. That’s beautiful that you have that. And that you’re able to talk about your past. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I feel since Covid lockdowns Iv just become numb to the point I’m sad. But can’t cry. 2.5 yr ago I cried. "
That’s tough. I think covid has messed up a Lot you’re right. Hope we can get back to being our emotional selves soon |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Rarely ball up though wish could let it out
Think last time got teary was watching the repair shop, some of the stories or family connections can set me teary. "
I wish I could. I wish you could. But teary is ok for now. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"At a mates funneral last year. We been frinds since five years old. Life bloody sucks at times. Left two young kids to "
That’s awful. Really awful. I’m sorry to hear that. Hope the tears helped grieve. They do represent how much he meant to you at least |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I had some tears a few days ago but really crying, that's less than 2 years. But today isn't over yet. "
it all counts I guess. But proper cries, the ugly ones, I think they’re the ones that get it all out. All the pain. It’s out or at least at the front, to be dealt with. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Last real cry was when I split with wife and not seeing children and saying good night, daft but hey,,"
Not daft! That’s serious. I’m glad you were able to feel those emotions. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"A few months ago, driving home from work and a certain memory popped into my head. Before I knew it the tears were a rolling. "
god I hate when things creep up on you like that. Hope you feel ok though |
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"When did you last cry? It’s been months since I last cried. And before that it was years. And I’ve been really upset in that time but the tears don’t fall. Even when I wish they would. Anyone else feel broken like that lol? "
Yep, wish I could.... Think I'd feel better for it but as soon as it all wells up... It goes. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I had tears in my eyes watching the conclusion of Picard S2 last night , but if you mean actual whole body sobbing that'll be 2015. There was a lot of heartbreak, change and the death of a loved one that year. Sobbing was a daily occurrence for a while.
Long time ago. But I hope if you needed to let it out you could. Sorry you had a tough time but hope the crying helped you through it. Shows strength. "
You're a breath of fresh air round these parts, Steve. |
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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
Quite recently. I can’t remember exactly when but if and when I get emotional I do cry.
I’m human and there’s no shame in showing emotions, whatever your gender.
I hate the implication from society that guys don’t or shouldn’t express their feelings |
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"At a mates funneral last year. We been frinds since five years old. Life bloody sucks at times. Left two young kids to
That’s awful. Really awful. I’m sorry to hear that. Hope the tears helped grieve. They do represent how much he meant to you at least"
They do. We were more like brothers. Still have his mob number on my phone. Just cannot delete it fuck i miss him. |
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By *hesblokeMan
over a year ago
Derbyshire village |
"I can hold it back, but I can easily cry at some animal videos on insta
Thedodo do very sad rescue videos and that’s an easy cry for me "
ah shit you know what, last time I teared up was probably watching those videos with the babies that see their parents for the first time with glasses or hearing implants. I'm a soft sod. |
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Litrally about a week ago, it's tuff being a man, your expected to carry on regardless. Stay strong brothers its not forever and the fact your not afraid to speak up when your feeling alone makes you more of a man. It's OK not to be OK remember |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"A good few years ago. I worry I’m too rational and logical "
You’re not. But I hope you can cry when you next need to or want to. Let that shit out. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"When did you last cry? It’s been months since I last cried. And before that it was years. And I’ve been really upset in that time but the tears don’t fall. Even when I wish they would. Anyone else feel broken like that lol?
Yep, wish I could.... Think I'd feel better for it but as soon as it all wells up... It goes. "
I feel this too. It’s so frustrating. Feels like I’m broken. Maybe I am. But you’re certainly not. Hope you can get it out soon |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I had tears in my eyes watching the conclusion of Picard S2 last night , but if you mean actual whole body sobbing that'll be 2015. There was a lot of heartbreak, change and the death of a loved one that year. Sobbing was a daily occurrence for a while.
Long time ago. But I hope if you needed to let it out you could. Sorry you had a tough time but hope the crying helped you through it. Shows strength.
You're a breath of fresh air round these parts, Steve. "
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"This morning, and yesterday, a couple of other times this month already too, probably some more later on. So many times over the last six months and probably many more to come. "
That’s tough but I’m glad you’re getting it out. Stay strong my gorgeous friend. Better days are coming |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Quite recently. I can’t remember exactly when but if and when I get emotional I do cry.
I’m human and there’s no shame in showing emotions, whatever your gender.
I hate the implication from society that guys don’t or shouldn’t express their feelings "
Absolutely Tea you’re so right. It’s important that you let it out when it comes. And I wish that more men felt like they could. But we as men also have to build that space for one another. We’ll get there |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Gotta be a few months, I like it was just through frustration with work tbh"
Work will get you. I’m sorry. But when you gotta let it out, you gotta let it out |
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By *hesblokeMan
over a year ago
Derbyshire village |
"Gotta be a few months, I like it was just through frustration with work tbh
Work will get you. I’m sorry. But when you gotta let it out, you gotta let it out "
Absolutely mate, stops me shouting at folk there  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I’d say I’m quite an emotional fella. However, tears seem to come easy for trivial stuff while proper emotional heart wrenching stuff I seem to dry up.
All quite bizarre."
That is quite bizarre. But I bet really common. At least you get them come out at some point. Maybe sometimes it’s actually more emotion than you realise coming out at the time too. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I can hold it back, but I can easily cry at some animal videos on insta
Thedodo do very sad rescue videos and that’s an easy cry for me "
Animal stuff gets me everytime. But don’t hold it in man let it all out. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I think I must be emotionally retarded as I didn't even cry at my mum's funeral. I came close but no tears fell. I feel I never shed a tear for her. "
You will when the time is right to let it out. And it doesn’t mean that you didn’t love her or anything that you didn’t. You were just figuring shit out |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Litrally about a week ago, it's tuff being a man, your expected to carry on regardless. Stay strong brothers its not forever and the fact your not afraid to speak up when your feeling alone makes you more of a man. It's OK not to be OK remember "
. This is so true. It’s ok to not be ok. I wish more men knew that and really believed that. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I'm holding so much in, I shed a a single tear almost daily but I just can let it all out "
It’s hard. But it’s gonna come out. Hopefully soon. Must be hard holding that shit in. I know I find it tough. |
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"I never cried from early teens onwards even at the most horrendous event. But now as I get older I well up at undercover boss or equally stupid TV"
Yep happy tiers gets me every time under cover boss just some one doing something good. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I think as men we feel embarrassed to cry out loud and by that I mean really let it out loud cry one that actually realeses the pain your feeling inside "
Yeah. The one where you’re just sobbing uncontrollably and it feels like it’s never gonna ever stop because what you’re feeling is so sad. We always do the couple of tears, wipe it away and say I’m ok. But feeling emotion is ok. It’s healthy. And I think can be helpful. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I never cried from early teens onwards even at the most horrendous event. But now as I get older I well up at undercover boss or equally stupid TV
Yep happy tiers gets me every time under cover boss just some one doing something good."
I hear that |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I never cry maybe once every few years but cried about a month ago watching someone close to me slip away "
That’s tough. I’m sorry you went through that |
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I think as men we feel embarrassed to cry out loud and by that I mean really let it out loud cry one that actually realeses the pain your feeling inside
Yeah. The one where you’re just sobbing uncontrollably and it feels like it’s never gonna ever stop because what you’re feeling is so sad. We always do the couple of tears, wipe it away and say I’m ok. But feeling emotion is ok. It’s healthy. And I think can be helpful.
100% |
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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
"I never cry maybe once every few years but cried about a month ago watching someone close to me slip away
That’s tough. I’m sorry you went through that "
I’ts okhat they’re not dead , it’s addiction, but thank-you
Dedicated to all the tough guys
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=_kvvNXuDRYI |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I cried last week while at my nieces boyfriends first gig with his band. I felt an overwhelming sense of pride. I generally cry at the silliest of things. Emotional movies. Stories of people being kind to others ect.
Yet at a funeral of a loved one. NOTHING.
I am definitely broken. |
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By *ay10Man
over a year ago
cambridge |
"When did you last cry? It’s been months since I last cried. And before that it was years. And I’ve been really upset in that time but the tears don’t fall. Even when I wish they would. Anyone else feel broken like that lol? "
I lost my 12 year old dog a month ago....I don't have kids and he was like my child.... don't think I've ever been so heartbroken in all my life...I cried for fucking days.
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"I need a good cry rn but  nothing’s coming. "
I felt this way a couple of weeks ago. I went to CBT and my therapist got me to write a worry script out for what was bothering me - basically just what the issue was and why it was upsetting me. It worked really well for me in unblocking whatever it was (I do usually cry easily though so realise it might not work for everyone) x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sometimes if it all gets to much and I have a plummet in my mood, I then have an argument with the wife and I have to go and find a quiet space for a hour or 6 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I (H) never used to cry at all. I used to be 'as strong as an ox' as they used to say. But we had some great problems with next doors a few years back. Ended up with a nervous breakdown. Still not over it as these feelings catch up with me from time to time. I'm working my way back up there but it's a hell of a steep climb. D is very understanding though as she went through it too. It didn't effect her in the same way as me.
 |
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