FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > How do normal people not have sex all the time
How do normal people not have sex all the time
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By *rHotNotts OP Man
over a year ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
You know when you speak to a normal friend and they say we never have sex, and when we do it’s boring or those that say they haven’t had sex with their partner for over a year etc and I think….How can that be ? Don’t you like sex? Isn’t it important to you? Doesn’t your sexuality and sexual preference partly define you ? Isn’t it probably the best pastime and workout ever invented?
Do they naturally just have low sex drives or are coping in some way , alcohol, Eastenders, food, ,dreaming of winning the lottery etc ?
Because everyone on here seems to like lots of sex. Guys here have a reputation for saying yes to anything, anytime, anywhere males or female, but let’s be honest, once you hit 40 the women are far worse than men, much ore picky yes, but they will quite happily have sex multiple times every single day without getting bored.
So what is going on with normal people , how can they not have lots of sex ?
Do you think it’s just the odd ones? Or are lots of normal coupled people barely sexual ?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I had as little sex as I could manage in my marriage, because he treated me like shit, trashed my boundaries, didn’t listen and expected me to roll over when he wanted. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I never had sex with my ex husband for 6 years. He just refused. He’d never had a high sex drive and after so many times of getting turned down, I just stopped trying.
J & I have sex pretty much daily or more, as well as the “extras” I get. We’re a lot more well matched and both make an effort to keep it fresh and exciting for each other.
My friends all avoid sex (in particular BJ’s) as much as they can with their husbands and I just don’t get it! Once a week maximum in my circle
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This was me in All my relationships. I had a higher sex drive then them.
They weren't swinging relationships so I had to suck it up.
I've never been sexually satisfied in any relationship I've had so far.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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FAB will attract those that are more sexually active due to the type of site it is. That will give a distorted view of the norm.
I do agree to an extent, plenty of people in relationships that I know who have sex very rarely, not even once a month, some once or twice a year. I do find that strange but everyone is different.
For me being in a relationship the sexual aspect is what differentiates it from just friendship, it's important to me and I couldn't continue a relationship without it. |
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I’m not sure there is a difference between those on fab and those not, other than perhaps sex drive and how open minded they are.
I was a ‘normal’ person before I joined fab. I didn’t have sex with my husband for 4! Years before we split. He had a super low sex drive even when we met. It was just never a priority for him. Whereas I have always been very sexual so you can imagine how frustrating that was!
I have many friends that like sex but don’t like casual sex. I also have friends that aren’t that fussed by it and could happily go for years without any intimacy. Some people just aren’t that way inclined. It doesn’t make them not normal. |
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"I’m not sure there is a difference between those on fab and those not, other than perhaps sex drive and how open minded they are.
I was a ‘normal’ person before I joined fab. I didn’t have sex with my husband for 4! Years before we split. He had a super low sex drive even when we met. It was just never a priority for him. Whereas I have always been very sexual so you can imagine how frustrating that was!
I have many friends that like sex but don’t like casual sex. I also have friends that aren’t that fussed by it and could happily go for years without any intimacy. Some people just aren’t that way inclined. It doesn’t make them not normal."
Or people on fab not normal. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't think they are any different to the rest of us. Yes people have different levels of sex drive but overall we all have periods where we don't want to have sex. Life takes over and sometimes I'm not feeling it, just because I'm on a sex site doesn't mean I'm constantly shagging like animals. |
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Where do you get the idea that everyone likes lots of sex?
Sex has never defined me and never will.
I didn't have sex until I was 25 and I have never had sex more than twice a week and that was only once in a blue moon.
I went for 10 years with no sex or sexual contact at all and since joining fab I've said no twice as much as I've said yes.
I enjoy sex but I can think of nothing worse than having lots of sex just for the sake of it.
I know for a fact through private messages and forum comments that I'm not the only one to feel that way.
Just because I'm on here doesn't mean I'm going to act like a child in a sweet shop. |
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"You know when you speak to a normal friend and they say we never have sex, and when we do it’s boring or those that say they haven’t had sex with their partner for over a year etc and I think….How can that be ? Don’t you like sex? Isn’t it important to you? Doesn’t your sexuality and sexual preference partly define you ? Isn’t it probably the best pastime and workout ever invented?
Do they naturally just have low sex drives or are coping in some way , alcohol, Eastenders, food, ,dreaming of winning the lottery etc ?
Because everyone on here seems to like lots of sex. Guys here have a reputation for saying yes to anything, anytime, anywhere males or female, but let’s be honest, once you hit 40 the women are far worse than men, much ore picky yes, but they will quite happily have sex multiple times every single day without getting bored.
So what is going on with normal people , how can they not have lots of sex ?
Do you think it’s just the odd ones? Or are lots of normal coupled people barely sexual ?
"
They do have sex. Just not with their spouses  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think what matters is that people have an amount of sex that is approximate to their wants and needs. For some that could be once a year, for others three times before breakfast. Life would be very boring if we were all the same so live and let live and vive le difference !
And if anyone fancies anal every other Thursday please DM me asap. |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
"I’m not sure there is a difference between those on fab and those not, other than perhaps sex drive and how open minded they are.
I was a ‘normal’ person before I joined fab. I didn’t have sex with my husband for 4! Years before we split. He had a super low sex drive even when we met. It was just never a priority for him. Whereas I have always been very sexual so you can imagine how frustrating that was!
I have many friends that like sex but don’t like casual sex. I also have friends that aren’t that fussed by it and could happily go for years without any intimacy. Some people just aren’t that way inclined. It doesn’t make them not normal.
Or people on fab not normal."
Yep, very much this.
On Fab people are more likely to talk about sex and their desires more openly, there are plenty on the forums who aren't sex led/mad. There's nothing wrong with not wanting it constantly nor enjoying it a lot.
Normal made me laugh OP. |
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If by "normal friends " you mean non fab friends, some dont have sex all the time, some are at it like rabbits, i know a few people here who arnt actively looking to meet. Sex isnt the main focus of a relationship for some couples and they have perfectly happy relationships with little or no sex.
I used to work in my favourite burger place, being around it day in and day out i soon found i was eating the burgers less. |
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I suppose it's like anything, some people like it, some people aren't too fussed about it, and some people love it. Like fishing for example, some people love it, whereas sitting at the side of a lake dangling maggots on a piece of string whilst being eaten alive by midges doesn't sound like much fun at all to me. Some people feel that way about sex. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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So anyone on this is site is abnormal?
Having sex doesn’t define who I am at all. It is a part of my life that brings me joy and pleasure. If I couldn’t have sex again for the rest of my life then yes I would miss it but would it ruin my life? No. I would just find something else to fill that gap |
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"FAB will attract those that are more sexually active due to the type of site it is. That will give a distorted view of the norm.
I do agree to an extent, plenty of people in relationships that I know who have sex very rarely, not even once a month, some once or twice a year. I do find that strange but everyone is different.
For me being in a relationship the sexual aspect is what differentiates it from just friendship, it's important to me and I couldn't continue a relationship without it."
^^^What he said  |
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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago
Gapping Fanny |
"Sex is boring.
Abstinence is the new cool
•
Damn you! And I've been imbibing on Absinthe all these months and not even close to "cool". "
You’re doing it wrong. Don’t drink it, rub it into your nethers instead - life altering (thank me later) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If I'm not 'normal' then it's no surprise to me at all. What is normal though? Just curious!
I do wonder how some couples don't. I also understand though that people can get stuck in ruts, get complacent or build grudges with each other after differences that accumulate over time, having kids changes patterns and drives etc. And those that work are just too exhausted to and it becomes months and then years. There's so many factors.
I've laid in bed every single night wishing my partner was just slightly interested, and gone to great lengths to turn him on to no avail and eventually split for a collection of reasons but the sex life was part of them.
I now for in the 40 and just keep going category, and I'm loving it being with someone who's definitely a great match to me.
I guess the thing o wonder most is why don't these people in relationships that don't fulfill them (not just sexually) have the strength or energy to change things or walk away? Maybe I'm a cow though.
PW
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By *rHotNotts OP Man
over a year ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
"Sex is boring.
Abstinence is the new cool "
It kind of is sometimes , but only because it’s different and a challenge. Not as a lifestyle choice and sex should never be boring , relaxing/amusing at worst |
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"I went for 7 years without sex.
Nowadays I have it a couple of times a year.
There’s so many other things I’d rather be doing if I’m honest "
I went for 3 years without. Didn’t miss it. Had my toys  |
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I think about sex a lot but that doesn’t mean I’m having it a lot. Real life, kids, work etc get in the way and there are times when I’m just not feeling like I want sex with my partner, usually because he’s irritated me in some way! That’s just life though. Just because I’m not having it all the time it doesn’t mean I don’t enjoy it, because I really do and I wish I could be having more of it but I can spend all my time fucking, as much as I would like to be 
I imagine it’s the same for a lot of people, fab or ‘normal’.
Kx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think normal people have lives. They don't live, eat, breathe, sleep sex every second of their existence.
I find that the constant sexualising of everything on here puts me right off anything sexual.
Not all Swingers are sex mad and would hump any hole in a wet log. |
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"I think normal people have lives. They don't live, eat, breathe, sleep sex every second of their existence.
I find that the constant sexualising of everything on here puts me right off anything sexual.
Not all Swingers are sex mad and would hump any hole in a wet log. "
Ooooooo-er matron  *in Carry On voice*  |
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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
Being on here is... wait for it... not just about sex for some people as it is also about a sense of adventure, which some people do not need to have fulfilled lives.
I do not think I would have been on here while my kids were young (not judging anybody) but I was way too busy with work and kids and family and relatives.
So normal or not, whatever that is meant to mean, people have other interests besides finding their next sexual encounters. It does not mean they are asexual or have lost their libido.
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By *viatrixWoman
over a year ago
Redhill |
My husband doesn’t have sex. He doesn’t even have a wank… at least he managed a couple of those a week looking at photos of his mistress a few years ago. Now nothing, zilch, nada….
I have been the most asexual I’ve been in my life lately due to some health niggles… but I can feel the mojo coming back with a vengeance… |
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OK seems we not normal off site or even normal on here it looks like , we love sex and yep while not always having full sex we are always on about it. We just love trying new things out and keeping it sexy!!!   |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think normal people have lives. They don't live, eat, breathe, sleep sex every second of their existence.
I find that the constant sexualising of everything on here puts me right off anything sexual.
Not all Swingers are sex mad and would hump any hole in a wet log.
Ooooooo-er matron *in Carry On voice* "
Oops I dropped my pen.....  |
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We are both highly sexed and the need for sex increases because we are fully compatible and in a relationship which we feel we can express ourselves, we talk more about sex, we are on FAB and other sites.
We’ve also been in relationships were the compatibility hasn’t been there, fully, not on FAB and so the inclination to have sex has lessened.
So I guess it’s a combination of just being in sync and working ourselves up… 
K |
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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago
South Wales |
Life happens, and all the stresses it brings.
When in a relationship I like a fair bit of sex. If not full sex then at least oral (both ways maybe but I definitely want to suck his cock!).
However, when single, and I’ve gotten older, that urge just goes on the back burner. I don’t have the desire to go out looking for sex. I’m constantly exhausted and the feeling of having to perform in the bedroom (as is expected on sites like this) just feels me with dread now. This site has made me realise that casual sex (to me) is very over rated.
Connected, great sex is better than mediocre “scratch the itch” sex.
Compatible sex drives are also important.
And you have to keep the passion alive. You have to WANT your partner. Often, that feeling fizzles out and is replaced by complacency.
And I think a lot of people on here over sell how sexed up they are to appeal to the Fab masses. |
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By *ucka39Man
over a year ago
Newcastle |
I think it's more about how much a person/person's enjoy the sexual chemistry and those who simply don't find it boring could be the person whom they are having it with or just not exploring enough with each other.... |
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By *alcon43Woman
over a year ago
Paisley |
Sex within a relationship is not always a priority. People have kids, jobs, parents, health issues, etc that contribute to having little or no sex. My ex wanted sex, just not with me apparently. I was running after three kids, had a full time job and running after him as well.
As women get older we go through menopause and many lose their libido, don’t feel attractive and have sweats, dryness and mood swings.
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By *ornyguyMan
over a year ago
Hillsborough, NI |
I'm someone who thought things were pretty poor if I hadn't had sex in a fortnight, and now I haven't had sex in nearly a year and a half.
I can't say I'm happy with this fact, but potential reasons why:
-kid
-someone above mentioned complacency and I'd agree with that
-she's gone off me, or no longer wants to please me
-her own body confidence
-maybe I'm a rubbish lay haha, although must have been good enough in the first place
I actually feel more comfortable sleeping in a different bed now as it's too frustrating lying next to her when any attempts are swiftly admonished.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sex within a relationship is not always a priority. People have kids, jobs, parents, health issues, etc that contribute to having little or no sex. My ex wanted sex, just not with me apparently. I was running after three kids, had a full time job and running after him as well.
As women get older we go through menopause and many lose their libido, don’t feel attractive and have sweats, dryness and mood swings.
"
This happened along with other complications in my relationship. Now she doesn’t want any penetrative sex. So how do I cope with that? Oral and HJs aren’t the same. Should I just accept doing without for ever? |
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"I had as little sex as I could manage in my marriage, because he treated me like shit, trashed my boundaries, didn’t listen and expected me to roll over when he wanted.
Why did you marry him?"
Seriously????? I cannot believe you asked that!
Yes of course we marry them knowing that's what they're going to do to us!
Thankfully some of us manage to get out
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In my last relationship I was called abnormal for the amount of sex I enjoyed, at the beginning. The last 7 years of it absolutely zero, with no explanation no matter how many times I tried that conversation. The abnormal bit came up again when I had a vibratory delivered, nope that’s not right in the bin
It’s definitely something I will not return to. Do I have a high sex drive, maybe, but it is limited to when I’m actually in someone’s company. I warn them I don’t have an off button. I can go days, weeks without the horn but when it hits, it hits. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"In my last relationship I was called abnormal for the amount of sex I enjoyed, at the beginning. The last 7 years of it absolutely zero, with no explanation no matter how many times I tried that conversation. The abnormal bit came up again when I had a vibratory delivered, nope that’s not right in the bin
It’s definitely something I will not return to. Do I have a high sex drive, maybe, but it is limited to when I’m actually in someone’s company. I warn them I don’t have an off button. I can go days, weeks without the horn but when it hits, it hits. "
I bet that fun to be in the way of when it hits |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I had as little sex as I could manage in my marriage, because he treated me like shit, trashed my boundaries, didn’t listen and expected me to roll over when he wanted.
Why did you marry him?
Seriously????? I cannot believe you asked that!
Yes of course we marry them knowing that's what they're going to do to us!
Thankfully some of us manage to get out
"
Thank you.
I’m sure she didn’t mean to make me feel shit, but it did.
I don’t feel like explaining how emotional abuse affects you, so Google it |
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"I had as little sex as I could manage in my marriage, because he treated me like shit, trashed my boundaries, didn’t listen and expected me to roll over when he wanted.
Why did you marry him?
Seriously????? I cannot believe you asked that!
Yes of course we marry them knowing that's what they're going to do to us!
Thankfully some of us manage to get out
Thank you.
I’m sure she didn’t mean to make me feel shit, but it did.
I don’t feel like explaining how emotional abuse affects you, so Google it "
I don't need that explanation
Had it been clearer that you weren't referring to your whole marriage, I wouldn't have asked
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"You know when you speak to a normal friend and they say we never have sex, and when we do it’s boring or those that say they haven’t had sex with their partner for over a year etc and I think….How can that be ? Don’t you like sex? Isn’t it important to you? Doesn’t your sexuality and sexual preference partly define you ? Isn’t it probably the best pastime and workout ever invented?
Do they naturally just have low sex drives or are coping in some way , alcohol, Eastenders, food, ,dreaming of winning the lottery etc ?
Because everyone on here seems to like lots of sex. Guys here have a reputation for saying yes to anything, anytime, anywhere males or female, but let’s be honest, once you hit 40 the women are far worse than men, much ore picky yes, but they will quite happily have sex multiple times every single day without getting bored.
So what is going on with normal people , how can they not have lots of sex ?
Do you think it’s just the odd ones? Or are lots of normal coupled people barely sexual ?
"
Hi op.
I gave up long ago classing myself as ‘normal’. Always felt like a bit of a freak in the real world once sex came into the conversation because simply admitting that I adore sex - and often - caused hugely raised eyebrows even if I was in a committed relationship. The vast majority of my vanilla friends openly admit that they see sex as something to be endured rather than enjoyed - and my single vanilla friends have said they’ve no issue if they never have sex again.
And then there’s me - a 53 year old freak of nature who orgasms constantly and thinks that sex is just about the greatest physical pleasure there can possibly be - and with the right partner(s) it’s absolutely fucking mind blowing. It’s only when I’m with other fabbers that I feel in any way normal - which is probably why most of my best friends are now swingers. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You know when you speak to a normal friend and they say we never have sex, and when we do it’s boring or those that say they haven’t had sex with their partner for over a year etc and I think….How can that be ? Don’t you like sex? Isn’t it important to you? Doesn’t your sexuality and sexual preference partly define you ? Isn’t it probably the best pastime and workout ever invented?
Do they naturally just have low sex drives or are coping in some way , alcohol, Eastenders, food, ,dreaming of winning the lottery etc ?
Because everyone on here seems to like lots of sex. Guys here have a reputation for saying yes to anything, anytime, anywhere males or female, but let’s be honest, once you hit 40 the women are far worse than men, much ore picky yes, but they will quite happily have sex multiple times every single day without getting bored.
So what is going on with normal people , how can they not have lots of sex ?
Do you think it’s just the odd ones? Or are lots of normal coupled people barely sexual ?
Hi op.
I gave up long ago classing myself as ‘normal’. Always felt like a bit of a freak in the real world once sex came into the conversation because simply admitting that I adore sex - and often - caused hugely raised eyebrows even if I was in a committed relationship. The vast majority of my vanilla friends openly admit that they see sex as something to be endured rather than enjoyed - and my single vanilla friends have said they’ve no issue if they never have sex again.
And then there’s me - a 53 year old freak of nature who orgasms constantly and thinks that sex is just about the greatest physical pleasure there can possibly be - and with the right partner(s) it’s absolutely fucking mind blowing. It’s only when I’m with other fabbers that I feel in any way normal - which is probably why most of my best friends are now swingers. "
I'm so pleased you've said all this as this is exactly me too. My vanilla friends all say they would rather have a cup of tea and that I'm weird for wanting sex and the just don't get why I enjoy it so much. |
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By *inx_xxWoman
over a year ago
Shrewsbury |
"I had as little sex as I could manage in my marriage, because he treated me like shit, trashed my boundaries, didn’t listen and expected me to roll over when he wanted."
I agree with this! I hated sex when I was married for similar reasons. Now I'm in my 40s and practically celebate because I'm a picky bitch who wants a click and good sex not just a shag |
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Is it sex or is it the orgasm
Ive nobody to have sex with but can honestly say i orgasm twice a day everyday because it makes me feel good.
Its regular as clockwork everyday and first thing i do when i get into bed at night and wake in the morning
Ive been doing this all my life. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Think you are an Muppet women in the 40 are as amazing as one in there twenties with no problem you need to get back to pornhub and stay there with your body shaming BS.
"
Who is this aimed at??? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Hmm, not really making any friends here!!
Not everyone on fab is getting lots of sex, probably most are not. Lots of people not of fab have more sex than people that are on fab.
Long term relationships take a toll on sex lives, so some turn to swinging to liven things up. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We get it op! You're having lots of sex! Well done
Seriously though...
What's normal? You can only compare to what's normal for you. Sex is an important part of life. But it's only one part. Sometimes it features more heavily than at other times.
And who are these 40+ aged women???  |
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Define normal? what most people do?
Never been in a sexless relationship myself
Not normal for me is attracting the opposite sex although not the type 9f girl I'm looking for fairly easily everywhere other than here ??
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