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Worst Possible Musical Idea….
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Inspired by the episode in After Life wherein a character hilariously revealed that they had headlined in, Taxi Driver: The Musical(!!!)
Good folks, can you come up with a more dreadful idea for a film to musical conversion?
I’m thinking Schindler’s List would be pretty bad for starters….. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Would love to see The Wolf of Wall Street as a musical.
Just imagine all the fucks in songs haha
As for a worst, The Predator? I mean it's supposed to be invisible yet its going to sing about stalking them? |
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By *rab74Man
over a year ago
Huntingdon |
You used the word "musical". That already guarantees the music is going to be crap, and the script and acting are going to be pantomime level.
There are a few honourable exceptions on the music front. There are no exceptions on the script or acting. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You used the word "musical". That already guarantees the music is going to be crap, and the script and acting are going to be pantomime level.
There are a few honourable exceptions on the music front. There are no exceptions on the script or acting."
Nonsense! |
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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago
Peterborough |
"Inspired by the episode in After Life wherein a character hilariously revealed that they had headlined in, Taxi Driver: The Musical(!!!)
Good folks, can you come up with a more dreadful idea for a film to musical conversion?
I’m thinking Schindler’s List would be pretty bad for starters….."
Funny you should mention that...here's my take on it (Mel Brooks and Springtime for Hitler springs to mind)
Why, oh why
am I full of glee?
Is it because
Of the drudergery.
Filing and polishing
For the artillery.
Bullets and belts
From the iron foun-dary
I don't get paid,
Nor holidays due
Frost bitten, malnourished
And bunged up with flu
Been stuck here,
Since last January
When some joker said
"Work sets you free"
...Then, why, oh why
Am I so full of glee? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You used the word "musical". That already guarantees the music is going to be crap, and the script and acting are going to be pantomime level.
There are a few honourable exceptions on the music front. There are no exceptions on the script or acting."
I challenge anyone to a fight who says SouthPark the musical is not actually a fucking first rate musical |
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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago
Peterborough |
"Silence Of The Lambs: I can just imagine a suitably crass Chianti song cropping up…."
I can, replacing the lyrics to Nessun Dorma
"Lambs shall sleep,
Lambs shall sleep!
Needing you, oh Chainti,
In your woven fiasco,
Watch the pouring,
That trembles with love
Floral with notes.
But my secret is hidden within me,
My shame no one shall see,
No... no...
Slicing your mouth, I will taste it,
When the light shines.
And the lambs will observe the silence that matches your whine!
(No one will know this shame and you must, alas, die.)
Vanish, tonight!
See, stars! See, stars!
At dusk, I will cook!
I will cook!
I will cook!
|
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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago
Peterborough |
"Would love to see The Wolf of Wall Street as a musical.
Just imagine all the fucks in songs haha
As for a worst, The Predator? I mean it's supposed to be invisible yet its going to sing about stalking them?"
Can you imagine Jordan Belfort, sing and dancing ala Gene Kelly past his scammed customers begging on the street singing "Who's afraid of the big bad wolf, big bad wolf?, big bad wolf?" |
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"Silence Of The Lambs: I can just imagine a suitably crass Chianti song cropping up….
I can, replacing the lyrics to Nessun Dorma
"Lambs shall sleep,
Lambs shall sleep!
Needing you, oh Chainti,
In your woven fiasco,
Watch the pouring,
That trembles with love
Floral with notes.
But my secret is hidden within me,
My shame no one shall see,
No... no...
Slicing your mouth, I will taste it,
When the light shines.
And the lambs will observe the silence that matches your whine!
(No one will know this shame and you must, alas, die.)
Vanish, tonight!
See, stars! See, stars!
At dusk, I will cook!
I will cook!
I will cook!
"
 I’m booking my tickets for this now  |
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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago
Peterborough |
"fabswingers the musical.. I can't believe it's taken this long.
Oh God, it would be hysterical.
We could call it ‘FAF? The musical’."
Yes! I can see it now.
"We're having a gangbang against the wall" has to be the biggie from this one.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"fabswingers the musical.. I can't believe it's taken this long.
Oh God, it would be hysterical.
We could call it ‘FAF? The musical’.
Yes! I can see it now.
"We're having a gangbang against the wall" has to be the biggie from this one.
"
Actually howling!  |
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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago
Peterborough |
"Silence Of The Lambs: I can just imagine a suitably crass Chianti song cropping up….
I can, replacing the lyrics to Nessun Dorma
"Lambs shall sleep,
Lambs shall sleep!
Needing you, oh Chainti,
In your woven fiasco,
Watch the pouring,
That trembles with love
Floral with notes.
But my secret is hidden within me,
My shame no one shall see,
No... no...
Slicing your mouth, I will taste it,
When the light shines.
And the lambs will observe the silence that matches your whine!
(No one will know this shame and you must, alas, die.)
Vanish, tonight!
See, stars! See, stars!
At dusk, I will cook!
I will cook!
I will cook!
I’m booking my tickets for this now "
Thanks, fancy a glass of wine? |
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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago
Peterborough |
"fabswingers the musical.. I can't believe it's taken this long.
Oh God, it would be hysterical.
We could call it ‘FAF? The musical’.
Yes! I can see it now.
"We're having a gangbang against the wall" has to be the biggie from this one.
Actually howling! "
I can hear you down here.  |
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"fabswingers the musical.. I can't believe it's taken this long.
Oh God, it would be hysterical.
We could call it ‘FAF? The musical’.
Yes! I can see it now.
"We're having a gangbang against the wall" has to be the biggie from this one.
Actually howling! "
Rita, Sue and FAF too |
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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago
Peterborough |
"Carrie would be blood-y mayhem.
Jaws the Musical would be a de-fin-ite
disaster.
I can almost hear the musical number in Jaws, ‘We’re gonna need a bigger boat, a bigger boat, a bigger boat!’ "
I see what youi did there with the fin pun.
They could sing those words to "who's afraid of the big bad wolf?/we're gonna need a bigger boat, a bigger boat." |
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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago
Peterborough |
"Carrie doesn’t go to the main hall
She’d rather be dead
Than once again have pig’s blood chucked over her head."
Thanks, does this work?
Carrie isn't Prom Queen any more
Not since the porcine blood
over head did pour
Carrie doesn't need this anymore
Being drenched like this
by that fuckin' whore.
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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago
Peterborough |
"Jim’ll fix it the musical
I must have missed the film that preceded it  "
it was called Jimmy Saville: Exhibit A, b, c, d...the MET Police blamed South Yorkshire Police for losing the evidence. SYP denied it and blamed the MET.  |
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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago
Peterborough |
"Silence Of The Lambs: I can just imagine a suitably crass Chianti song cropping up….
Put the lotion in the basket, opera style "
Try this...
"Pass me the lotion
Pass me the lotion
Your feeble screams
Are a drop in the ocean
Please load the basket
Please load the basket
Don't make me scream
Didn't you hear me when
I quietly ask-ed it?"
|
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"You used the word "musical". That already guarantees the music is going to be crap, and the script and acting are going to be pantomime level.
There are a few honourable exceptions on the music front. There are no exceptions on the script or acting."
Wow. That’s a big call! |
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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago
Peterborough |
"You used the word "musical". That already guarantees the music is going to be crap, and the script and acting are going to be pantomime level.
There are a few honourable exceptions on the music front. There are no exceptions on the script or acting.
Wow. That’s a big call!"
Curtain call? |
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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago
Peterborough |
"Trump - The Musical"
"I hear you knocking, but you can't come in"
"Tell me lies, tell me sweet little lies"
"Bye bye baby, baby good bye"
or
"We don't need mass inocul-ation, we don't need no sheeple control. Before I fall, I want to build a Mexi-can wall!" |
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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago
Peterborough |
"Saving Private Ryan or maybe some of the dodgy porn parodies. Anyone for Shaving Ryan's Privates the musical."
"On the Beach" by Chris Rea
"Burn baby burn, dico inferno" for the pill box and flame thrower scene.
"Boys, boys, boys" by Sabrina
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Brexit the musical
The first act would be confused and misleading
The second like football terrace chorus across the house of commons floor and...
When you thought it was all over the 3rd act would start and they'd lock the doors so you can't get out.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You used the word "musical". That already guarantees the music is going to be crap, and the script and acting are going to be pantomime level.
There are a few honourable exceptions on the music front. There are no exceptions on the script or acting."
Wrong on all counts (in my opinion as HUGE Sondheim fan). |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Brexit the musical
The first act would be confused and misleading
The second like football terrace chorus across the house of commons floor and...
When you thought it was all over the 3rd act would start and they'd lock the doors so you can't get out.
"
I can see the bus ads now |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Brexit the musical
The first act would be confused and misleading
The second like football terrace chorus across the house of commons floor and...
When you thought it was all over the 3rd act would start and they'd lock the doors so you can't get out.
I can see the bus ads now"
But it would only advertise at half the actual price |
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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago
Peterborough |
Harry Potter
Well someone had to.
Imagine Voldemort swooshing around the dorms at night whispering "Say my name, say my name".
Or Professor Donegal's rendition of "This ol' house" by Shakin Stevens.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Fred and rose the musical why it'll be a west end smash!!
The finale has to be "I never promised you a rose garden" by Lynn Anderson"
And of course Go West by the Pet Shop Boys
Fred West, if you rent a room
Fred West, he'll build an ensuite tomb
Fred West, he'll fondle both your tits
Fred West, he'll chop off all your other bits.
|
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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago
Peterborough |
"Brexit the musical
The first act would be confused and misleading
The second like football terrace chorus across the house of commons floor and...
When you thought it was all over the 3rd act would start and they'd lock the doors so you can't get out.
I can see the bus ads now
But it would only advertise at half the actual price "
and nobody will know when it will finish. |
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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago
Peterborough |
"Fred and rose the musical why it'll be a west end smash!!
The finale has to be "I never promised you a rose garden" by Lynn Anderson
And of course Go West by the Pet Shop Boys
Fred West, if you rent a room
Fred West, he'll build an ensuite tomb
Fred West, he'll fondle both your tits
Fred West, he'll chop off all your other bits.
"
Good effort, you should write the whole song. |
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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago
Peterborough |
Lockdown: the musical
Performed by BoJo & the Clowns. Shirley Serban, others TBC
"It's my party and I'll lie if I want to, lie if I want to"
"Is this the way to Barnard Castle? As being short sighted is a bit of a hassle"
"Stay away, Stay away" by the amazing Shirly Serban. (you've got to see this one!)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EGVPzrVJS5U
"...selfies suck, when you're stuck
Far from fancy scenery
Now Streetview'll have to do
As a holiday for me"
"Suck it up, suck it up
Suck it up, border's closed" |
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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago
Peterborough |
"The Life and Times of Peter Sutcliffe: A Musical Odyssey"
Rowan Atkinson could have played him. Just think Blackadder II and see the resemblance.
4 Non Blonds should redo this one...
"And I try
Oh my God, do I try
I try all the time
In this institution
And I pray
Oh my God, do I pray
I pray every single day" |
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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago
Peterborough |
Prince Andrew: the musical
"Sorry is the hardest word" Elton John
"Kids" by Kylie & Robbie
"So come on, jump on board, take a ride, yeah
You'll be doin' it all night
Jump on board, feel the high
'Cause the kids are alright
You've got a reputation
Well, I guess that can be explored
You're dancing with the chairman of the board" |
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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago
Peterborough |
What about the weather report?
There's loads of suitable songs.
"When the levee breaks" Led Zep
"Here comes the flood" Peter Gabriel
"Sunshine on a rainy day" Zoe
"I remember your name" The Beautiful South (for storm names)
"Hot in the city" Billy Idol |
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"What about the weather report?
There's loads of suitable songs.
"When the levee breaks" Led Zep
"Here comes the flood" Peter Gabriel
"Sunshine on a rainy day" Zoe
"I remember your name" The Beautiful South (for storm names)
"Hot in the city" Billy Idol"
Got to add ‘it’s raining men’ to that list |
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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago
Peterborough |
"What about the weather report?
There's loads of suitable songs.
"When the levee breaks" Led Zep
"Here comes the flood" Peter Gabriel
"Sunshine on a rainy day" Zoe
"I remember your name" The Beautiful South (for storm names)
"Hot in the city" Billy Idol
Got to add ‘it’s raining men’ to that list "
I did that deliberately. |
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"What about the weather report?
There's loads of suitable songs.
"When the levee breaks" Led Zep
"Here comes the flood" Peter Gabriel
"Sunshine on a rainy day" Zoe
"I remember your name" The Beautiful South (for storm names)
"Hot in the city" Billy Idol
Got to add ‘it’s raining men’ to that list
I did that deliberately."
"Gspot tornado" Frank Zappa |
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