FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Fab Bullshit !

Fab Bullshit !

By *uitednbooted2 OP Man over a year ago

Berkshire

You often see some bullshit claims by folk on here. What are the biggest ones you have heard? I will start with one of the most popular!

“ I fucked a famous porn star once”

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *icketysplitsWoman over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

'Love giving oral - I can stay down there for hours'.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'm more about the woman's pleasure than my own.....

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"'Love giving oral - I can stay down there for hours'.

Its true I can

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *ranny-CrumpetWoman over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"'Love giving oral - I can stay down there for hours'.

Its true I can

It's true I can

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *ugby 123Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

O o O oo

"'Love giving oral - I can stay down there for hours'.

Its true I can

I would change the technique, it is obviously not working out

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *parrow77Man over a year ago

cheshire

"I'm more about the woman's pleasure than my own.....

But I am

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *parrow77Man over a year ago

cheshire

"'Love giving oral - I can stay down there for hours'.

Its true I can

I would change the technique, it is obviously not working out

Am thinking lock jaw or muscle tear in tongue ouch

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Profiles that say hate seeing cock pics …. Then ask for 1 within a few messages

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

“I wouldn’t meet a woman with tattoos” sure you wouldn’t buddy

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Professional photographers

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

My cock is 10 inches

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *eyond PurityCouple over a year ago

Lincolnshire

Masseurs

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *uitednbooted2 OP Man over a year ago

Berkshire

"Professional photographers "

Ha ha yeah ! That’s a classic

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *ecadent_DevonMan over a year ago

Okehampton

Couples telling single fellas to make an effort and when you look at their profiles it’s 8 pictures of her and a “will fill in later”

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *adyBugsWoman over a year ago

cognito

"Profiles that say hate seeing cock pics …. Then ask for 1 within a few messages

I hate those…send me your penis now

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

“I just want to watch”

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Couples telling single fellas to make an effort and when you look at their profiles it’s 8 pictures of her and a “will fill in later” "

Or “if your profile is full of cock pics it’s an instant block” … and their gallery is 100+ tit / cleavage pics

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *ealitybitesMan over a year ago

Belfast

"Masseurs "

Two separate threads a few months ago started by fully qualified male masseuses.

Must have been given the wrong certs.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *oulou0974Woman over a year ago

Inverness

The ones who state they “guarantee “ you won’t be disappointed/ to make you cum/ make you squirt etc

How can they guarantee anything!!!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *ecadent_DevonMan over a year ago

Okehampton

Ones that say “I’m not a nutter”, but they are!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *iscean_dreamMan over a year ago

Llanelli

"'Love giving oral - I can stay down there for hours'.

Anyone that says this isn't doing it right

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *ed LipstickWoman over a year ago

Fucksville

The single guys who claim to have a female fwb that wants to meet me (but he knows what she likes and needs to test drive me 1st)

Masseurs (yes I'm going to let a total stranger free on my body)

Professional photographers who want to take pics for free (I'll bet you do)

Can "go" for hours (where exactly)

V v w e (big cock but shit sh*g)

Know what I'm doing

(with what)

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *andyfloss2000Woman over a year ago

ashford

I'm unattached x

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *rincessPuddleDuck22Woman over a year ago

.•°°

When they say they only want to get involved with honest people but lie and then when they're called out project and say they figured you were lying so did it anyway.....

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *oliday slutCouple over a year ago

tenerife

Anyone who replies "yeah" timewaster

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *icketysplitsWoman over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"Professional photographers "

I've met two.

I'm grateful for their professional services to me and to Fab.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *ed LipstickWoman over a year ago

Fucksville

Almost forgot my fave...

Only looking for one fwb (but meet constantly)

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *ealitybitesMan over a year ago

Belfast

Anyone calling themselves an alpha male

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Men saying they're straight but then post an update about wanting to suck some cocks and being fucked hard by a guy

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *andyfloss2000Woman over a year ago

ashford

"Professional photographers

I've met two.

I'm grateful for their professional services to me and to Fab.

Yes have met 2 great pics they were semi professional x

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"'Love giving oral - I can stay down there for hours'.

Anyone that says this isn't doing it right

Hours??? I'd want my phone handy for when I get bored.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

“I’ve read your profile” and then goes on to show they haven’t even read the first line.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Says: Experienced Dom’

Means: will slap your arse occasionally while smashing your back doors in.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Ones that say “I’m not a nutter”, but they are! "

But my mother had me tested!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"You often see some bullshit claims by folk on here. What are the biggest ones you have heard? I will start with one of the most popular!

“ I fucked a famous porn star once”

I did once! Many years ago, as a single 20-something. A Bristol based one who was famous at the time (in the 1990s). Had to pay though for a “professional service”

I suspect that many (but not all) who make this claim probably have, but like me probably paid for the pleasure so not sure it’s the bragging claim they think it is …

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *arlomaleMan over a year ago

darlington

I once asked a lady who claimed to drive a 60k Mercedes and said she only went on holiday to Dubai but on close inspection I simply pointed out that her kitchen and bathroom looked something you’d find in a cheap bedsit

obviously I got blocked

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Send me a face pic, then I'll do the same". Yeah, ok.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

There’s one on my local feeds.

Always “Male half of couple available today”

Always the male half.

Never the couple.

Hmmm …

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Up for anything"

OK, bend over. Whilst I thrust my 4 dildos into your arse.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

""Up for anything"

OK, bend over. Whilst I thrust my 4 dildos into your arse. "
only 4? You’re generous.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *ilentnoiseMan over a year ago

Belfast

"Couple" profile where it only ever seems to be the man online, and when you ask if you can chat with them together the woman is always busy with work / looking after the kids / a night out with the girls / insert excuse here.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *ingle To MingleMan over a year ago

Swalwell

Worst one for me was from a guy in the area claiming to be Michael Jackson's manager arranging a gig in the city using his holographic imagine

And that's why he was staying at the £29 per night shit hole hotel.

Needless to say I blamed it on the boogie and just beat it out of there.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

""Send me a face pic, then I'll do the same". Yeah, ok.

Ha ha I've been told that countless times too

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Professional photographers "

Oh we’ve had a few of those, don’t do couple shots though

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *ilfCrumpet9Man over a year ago

Wirral

They expect you to be constructive with a sentence to catch their attention and reply with a simple yes or no WTF

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *icketysplitsWoman over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"Professional photographers

I've met two.

I'm grateful for their professional services to me and to Fab.

Yes have met 2 great pics they were semi professional x"

I'm not sure what I'd do with a semi.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *iss SJWoman over a year ago

Hull

When the profile says been here before so know how it works, followed by the great long paragraphs about Facebook (not even changed it to read Fab) being publicly owned blah de blah and the US law about using photos.

No other info and one dick pic with daily status updates complaining how bad the site is ‘now a days’ or how stuck up everyone else is.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"When the profile says been here before so know how it works, followed by the great long paragraphs about Facebook (not even changed it to read Fab) being publicly owned blah de blah and the US law about using photos.

No other info and one dick pic with daily status updates complaining how bad the site is ‘now a days’ or how stuck up everyone else is. "

LOL

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I am looking for more than a one off bang and run

And also emmm anyone who’s banged be technically has I am fab famous

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Dominant with 30 years experience

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I’ve seen the “only looking for 1 man not here to sleep with whole site “ yet it’s there millionth account lol

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

""Up for anything"

OK, bend over. Whilst I thrust my 4 dildos into your arse. "

Ok go on them

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *oobyHotwifeWoman over a year ago

Thurrock

I'm genuine, I'll definitely turn up

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"quality over quantity" yet probably tries to arrange a meet with everyone they speak to.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I had sex... With an actual woman!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"'Love giving oral - I can stay down there for hours'.

If it’s taking you hours then you’re really doing something wrong……

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Profiles that say hate seeing cock pics …. Then ask for 1 within a few messages

"
this

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

""quality over quantity" yet probably tries to arrange a meet with everyone they speak to. "

It's true though, on a completely separate note, what are you plans this evening?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Worst one for me was from a guy in the area claiming to be Michael Jackson's manager arranging a gig in the city using his holographic imagine

And that's why he was staying at the £29 per night shit hole hotel.

Needless to say I blamed it on the boogie and just beat it out of there."

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

“I had loads of veris on my old profile”

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Not like the other guys on here"

Yep, sure

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *iscean_dreamMan over a year ago

Llanelli

"'Love giving oral - I can stay down there for hours'.

Anyone that says this isn't doing it right

Hours??? I'd want my phone handy for when I get bored. "

I'd be needing a new tongue and not talking for a week after

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *ackformore100Man over a year ago

Tin town

"Almost forgot my fave...

Only looking for one fwb (but meet constantly)"

Got to kiss a few frogs though?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *parrow77Man over a year ago

cheshire

When say only want vwe or give a size then every pic or very is from guy with small cock

Other seen was don’t want no or bi cur again every guy met was bi lol

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *rincess PhoenixWoman over a year ago

Southampton

"I don't want to sleep with the whole site"

"I love oral and will do it for hours"

"I'm an experienced dom" (which usually means they've watched 50 shades of sh*te and slapped their partners arse a couple of times!)

"I'm VWE"

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *asty tatsyMan over a year ago

london

I’m here to connect not to fuck the whole of fab

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

""quality over quantity" yet probably tries to arrange a meet with everyone they speak to.

It's true though, on a completely separate note, what are you plans this evening?

How about tomorrow night? But I'll give you my shopping list that you can grab first.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

""Not like the other guys on here"

Yep, sure

I suppose they're technically right, no guy is like any other guy on here

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"'Love giving oral - I can stay down there for hours'.

Anyone that says this isn't doing it right

Hours??? I'd want my phone handy for when I get bored.

I'd be needing a new tongue and not talking for a week after

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *asty tatsyMan over a year ago

london

""quality over quantity" yet probably tries to arrange a meet with everyone they speak to. "

4,000,000 veris

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

""quality over quantity" yet probably tries to arrange a meet with everyone they speak to.

It's true though, on a completely separate note, what are you plans this evening?

How about tomorrow night? But I'll give you my shopping list that you can grab first.

Not falling for that one again, couldn't look the cashier in the eye as they were scanning through the lube and cucumber

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *acey_RedWoman over a year ago

Liverpool

"I've given a woman over 100 orgasms"

"She was lesbian until she met me" (said by a guy)

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

""Not like the other guys on here"

Yep, sure

I suppose they're technically right, no guy is like any other guy on here

It's funny how guys who put this in their profile also send unsolicited dick pics tho...

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

""Up for anything"

OK, bend over. Whilst I thrust my 4 dildos into your arse. "

"guilty your honour" found out never to say that again several years ago, never said it since

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I'm unattached x"

That’s a good one

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *acey_RedWoman over a year ago

Liverpool

"Couples telling single fellas to make an effort and when you look at their profiles it’s 8 pictures of her and a “will fill in later” "

It also really annoys me when men in couples automatically consider themselves somehow a cut above other fab men just because they have a partner.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *parrow77Man over a year ago

cheshire

""I've given a woman over 100 orgasms"

"She was lesbian until she met me" (said by a guy) "

Omg that’s a classic had guy say that to a friend when was out clubbing she challenged him (was teasing see if if was serious) and before she even did anything he cum in pants lol

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

The usual ‘ you won’t find anyone better than me ‘

‘ I’m different from the rest ‘

‘ I’ll give you the time of your life’

‘ you’ll want more’…..blah blah blah

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

When a woman or couple winks you so you send them a message to thank them try to initiate conversation, only for them to completely blank you. Why wink in the first place then?!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *asty tatsyMan over a year ago

london

"The usual ‘ you won’t find anyone better than me ‘

‘ I’m different from the rest ‘

‘ I’ll give you the time of your life’

‘ you’ll want more’…..blah blah blah

Taking notes what not to write keep it coming

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"The usual ‘ you won’t find anyone better than me ‘

‘ I’m different from the rest ‘

‘ I’ll give you the time of your life’

‘ you’ll want more’…..blah blah blah

in the midnight hour she cried more more more

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"The usual ‘ you won’t find anyone better than me ‘

‘ I’m different from the rest ‘

‘ I’ll give you the time of your life’

‘ you’ll want more’…..blah blah blah

Taking notes what not to write keep it coming

How long you got as the list keeps going

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"The usual ‘ you won’t find anyone better than me ‘

‘ I’m different from the rest ‘

‘ I’ll give you the time of your life’

‘ you’ll want more’…..blah blah blah

in the midnight hour she cried more more more"

If only if it were true

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *asty tatsyMan over a year ago

london

"The usual ‘ you won’t find anyone better than me ‘

‘ I’m different from the rest ‘

‘ I’ll give you the time of your life’

‘ you’ll want more’…..blah blah blah

Taking notes what not to write keep it coming

How long you got as the list keeps going

As long as my inbox will take

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"The usual ‘ you won’t find anyone better than me ‘

‘ I’m different from the rest ‘

‘ I’ll give you the time of your life’

‘ you’ll want more’…..blah blah blah

Taking notes what not to write keep it coming

How long you got as the list keeps going

As long as my inbox will take

On my way

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *asty tatsyMan over a year ago

london

"The usual ‘ you won’t find anyone better than me ‘

‘ I’m different from the rest ‘

‘ I’ll give you the time of your life’

‘ you’ll want more’…..blah blah blah

Taking notes what not to write keep it coming

How long you got as the list keeps going

As long as my inbox will take

On my way

(Not) patiently waiting

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

The double standards of accommodation. Women and couples who can't accommodate only wanting to meet men who can. And I get it, if no-one can accommodate then how do they meet, but I mean them expecting you to be able to accommodate in your home

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *eliWoman over a year ago

Fab truth - I'm very "discrete".

Reality - discusses within ten minutes of talking to you exactly how many seconds they spent fucking someone plus that person's mum's cat name.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *ornywelsh2sumCouple over a year ago

Neath valley.

"'Love giving oral - I can stay down there for hours'.

Had this a few times

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *ornywelsh2sumCouple over a year ago

Neath valley.

"Fab truth - I'm very "discrete".

Reality - discusses within ten minutes of talking to you exactly how many seconds they spent fucking someone plus that person's mum's cat name."

True

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *icketysplitsWoman over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

My experience is the opposite: men expecting me to accommodate. In my twelve years here, I have only been 'accommodated' by 4 men.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *acey_RedWoman over a year ago

Liverpool

Out of curiosity, what is your solution if neither of you can? Especially if too skint for a hotel? Asking for a friend

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Out of curiosity, what is your solution if neither of you can? Especially if too skint for a hotel? Asking for a friend

Behind the bike sheds obviously

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

""quality over quantity" yet probably tries to arrange a meet with everyone they speak to. "

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I've read your profile"

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *penbicoupleCouple over a year ago

Northampton

"“I wouldn’t meet a woman with tattoos” sure you wouldn’t buddy

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I'm bi"

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *acey_RedWoman over a year ago

Liverpool

Out of curiosity, what is your solution if neither of you can? Especially if too skint for a hotel? Asking for a friend

Behind the bike sheds obviously

In all seriousness, it's unbelievable how many expect you to fuck them in their car!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *aysOfOurLivesCouple over a year ago

Essex

"'Love giving oral - I can stay down there for hours'.

Its true I can

I would change the technique, it is obviously not working out

ROFL - I was thinking the same thing. …and that poor guys tongue must hate him soo much

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Out of curiosity, what is your solution if neither of you can? Especially if too skint for a hotel? Asking for a friend

Behind the bike sheds obviously

In all seriousness, it's unbelievable how many expect you to fuck them in their car! "

We’ve had cars, transit vans, sheds. Who said romance is dead?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *acey_RedWoman over a year ago

Liverpool

Out of curiosity, what is your solution if neither of you can? Especially if too skint for a hotel? Asking for a friend

Behind the bike sheds obviously

In all seriousness, it's unbelievable how many expect you to fuck them in their car!

We’ve had cars, transit vans, sheds. Who said romance is dead?

Shed!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Out of curiosity, what is your solution if neither of you can? Especially if too skint for a hotel? Asking for a friend

Behind the bike sheds obviously

In all seriousness, it's unbelievable how many expect you to fuck them in their car!

We’ve had cars, transit vans, sheds. Who said romance is dead?

Shed!

Whilst his wife was asleep

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *penbicoupleCouple over a year ago

Northampton

""I'm an experienced dom" (which usually means they've watched 50 shades of sh*te and slapped their partners arse a couple of times!)"

This!

Depending in how it's worded, I also suspect some of the men claiming that simply have aggressive tendencies and assume they can employ them erotically.

Our profile once said that Alice was keen to explore hotwifing. A guy messaged and told me I was a cuckold. I politely told him that was not the dynamic we were after.

He actually replied and said "Trust me, by the time I'm finished with her, you'll be a cuck!"

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *acey_RedWoman over a year ago

Liverpool

Out of curiosity, what is your solution if neither of you can? Especially if too skint for a hotel? Asking for a friend

Behind the bike sheds obviously

In all seriousness, it's unbelievable how many expect you to fuck them in their car!

We’ve had cars, transit vans, sheds. Who said romance is dead?

Shed!

Whilst his wife was asleep

Wow!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *ed LipstickWoman over a year ago

Fucksville

We're all forgetting the "professional man" as opposed to the unprofessional man

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Oh do people think that of me? I can't as I live with my kids. Ive always found FWB were quite happy to have me in their home.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

""I'm an experienced dom" (which usually means they've watched 50 shades of sh*te and slapped their partners arse a couple of times!)

This!

Depending in how it's worded, I also suspect some of the men claiming that simply have aggressive tendencies and assume they can employ them erotically.

Our profile once said that Alice was keen to explore hotwifing. A guy messaged and told me I was a cuckold. I politely told him that was not the dynamic we were after.

He actually replied and said "Trust me, by the time I'm finished with her, you'll be a cuck!"

Wow! That’s unbelievable, cheeky sod.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I'll make you squirt"

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *penbicoupleCouple over a year ago

Northampton

""I'm an experienced dom" (which usually means they've watched 50 shades of sh*te and slapped their partners arse a couple of times!)

This!

Depending in how it's worded, I also suspect some of the men claiming that simply have aggressive tendencies and assume they can employ them erotically.

Our profile once said that Alice was keen to explore hotwifing. A guy messaged and told me I was a cuckold. I politely told him that was not the dynamic we were after.

He actually replied and said "Trust me, by the time I'm finished with her, you'll be a cuck!"

Wow! That’s unbelievable, cheeky sod."

Strangely, he didn't get a meet!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *andy and DannyCouple over a year ago

Barnstaple

"Anyone who replies "yeah" timewaster "
we hate one word answers lol , so lazy

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"You often see some bullshit claims by folk on here. What are the biggest ones you have heard? I will start with one of the most popular!

“ I fucked a famous porn star once”

I am a famous porn star

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *andy and DannyCouple over a year ago

Barnstaple

"You often see some bullshit claims by folk on here. What are the biggest ones you have heard? I will start with one of the most popular!

“ I fucked a famous porn star once”

"
i promise not to cum in your mouth pmsl

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Anyone who replies "yeah" timewaster we hate one word answers lol , so lazy

Yeah

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *andy and DannyCouple over a year ago

Barnstaple

"There’s one on my local feeds.

Always “Male half of couple available today”

Always the male half.

Never the couple.

Hmmm …"
we get that in devon quite often lol ??

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *andy and DannyCouple over a year ago

Barnstaple

"Couples telling single fellas to make an effort and when you look at their profiles it’s 8 pictures of her and a “will fill in later”

It also really annoys me when men in couples automatically consider themselves somehow a cut above other fab men just because they have a partner. "
speaking as a man with a wife of over 25 years i consider myself lucky to be married but in the same breath i must be quite cool to keep sandy ??

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Masseurs "

Whatever!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *andy and DannyCouple over a year ago

Barnstaple

"The double standards of accommodation. Women and couples who can't accommodate only wanting to meet men who can. And I get it, if no-one can accommodate then how do they meet, but I mean them expecting you to be able to accommodate in your home"
, basically as a single mans profile the assumption is that you are single ?? as a couple children are likely to be a factor ? Not rocket science really lol ??

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"The double standards of accommodation. Women and couples who can't accommodate only wanting to meet men who can. And I get it, if no-one can accommodate then how do they meet, but I mean them expecting you to be able to accommodate in your home, basically as a single mans profile the assumption is that you are single ?? as a couple children are likely to be a factor ? Not rocket science really lol ?? "

A single man or woman here is just as likely to have children as a couple. And couples aren't the only people who value their privacy. That's quite entitled.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Got loads of verifications but lost log in.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

most things I receive in messages

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I'm a fun loving happy person..."

Yet every post makes it painfully apparent that they're a fucking misery and I that I'd rather take a cheese grater to my clit than spend 30 seconds in their company.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

""I'm a fun loving happy person..."

Yet every post makes it painfully apparent that they're a fucking misery and I that I'd rather take a cheese grater to my clit than spend 30 seconds in their company."

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

""I'm a fun loving happy person..."

Yet every post makes it painfully apparent that they're a fucking misery and I that I'd rather take a cheese grater to my clit than spend 30 seconds in their company."

Vivid!!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *eroLondonMan over a year ago

Mayfair

"Fab truth - I'm very "discrete".

Reality - discusses within ten minutes of talking to you exactly how many seconds they spent fucking someone plus that person's mum's cat name.

True"

•

"discrete": perhaps they're informing us of their distinct individuality...?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

""I'm a fun loving happy person..."

Yet every post makes it painfully apparent that they're a fucking misery and I that I'd rather take a cheese grater to my clit than spend 30 seconds in their company."

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'm shite in bed best avoid me

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman over a year ago

On a mooch

basically as a single mans profile the assumption is that you are single ?? as a couple children are likely to be a factor ? Not rocket science really lol ?? "

You can be single (male of female) and still have children in the home, don’t need to be a couple. I don’t accommodate in my home, wouldn’t expect anyone else to, it is my safe space.

Even if I didn’t have kids I still wouldn’t accommodate for that very reason, safety.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *orbidden eastMan over a year ago

london dodging electric scooters

“Open minded” nah you’re not really

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

basically as a single mans profile the assumption is that you are single ?? as a couple children are likely to be a factor ? Not rocket science really lol ??

You can be single (male of female) and still have children in the home, don’t need to be a couple. I don’t accommodate in my home, wouldn’t expect anyone else to, it is my safe space.

Even if I didn’t have kids I still wouldn’t accommodate for that very reason, safety. "

Especially if he is an Arsenal fan. He wouldn’t be safe with a Spurs supporter!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I will make you squirt...yeah whatever.

Fancy fucking my fwb?..

Fancy riding this?...& pic of a angry looking penis..

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *rad670Man over a year ago

South Lakes

[Removed by poster at 06/02/22 22:40:08]

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *rad670Man over a year ago

South Lakes

Most common bull I have experienced is when someone says they find stimulating intelligent conversation a turn on, thing is you can't have a one way conversation and they forget they have to respond in a stimulating and intelligent way as well, preferably with more than one sentence

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

“Male half is 100% straight”

Hmmm, so that’s his twin brothers profile on FabGuys then?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Just seen a "photographer's" profile. Just the one profile pic, which was awful and all his veris are meets, nothing about photos lol.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

The “drama free zone “ or anything linked with drama certainly means “you gonna get some drama boy” , is always a classic

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Im single

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *TK421-Man over a year ago

Cheltenham

I'm looking for fwb...

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *rincess PhoenixWoman over a year ago

Southampton

Out of curiosity, what is your solution if neither of you can? Especially if too skint for a hotel? Asking for a friend

Behind the bike sheds obviously

In all seriousness, it's unbelievable how many expect you to fuck them in their car! "

Did that once and almost put my foot through the window lol

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *aysOfOurLivesCouple over a year ago

Essex

One message claimed “we looked hot” - if you’re gonna bs us, make it at least a little believable lol

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *acey_RedWoman over a year ago

Liverpool

Out of curiosity, what is your solution if neither of you can? Especially if too skint for a hotel? Asking for a friend

Behind the bike sheds obviously

In all seriousness, it's unbelievable how many expect you to fuck them in their car!

Did that once and almost put my foot through the window lol"

Oh jesus

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I have read your profile and thought I will message you. Next message do you have Kik which if they had read my profile you would know my answer.

Maybe reading and understanding are two different things.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Guys who have just joined saying how they had a mfffffff. Yeah, right.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I have read your profile and thought I will message you. Next message do you have Kik which if they had read my profile you would know my answer.

Maybe reading and understanding are two different things. "

Maybe looking at the photos and reading are two different things

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *ucka39Man over a year ago

Newcastle

Straight then their looking for says looking for males and TV TS

Being non judgemental/claiming to be straight but doesn't care who gives them a BJ

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *ensuallover1000Man over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

Bullshit on FAB? Surely not….

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *edGrayCouple over a year ago

Swindon

"I am bi, honest!"

Profile says they are straight...

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"The single guys who claim to have a female fwb that wants to meet me (but he knows what she likes and needs to test drive me 1st)

Masseurs (yes I'm going to let a total stranger free on my body)

Professional photographers who want to take pics for free (I'll bet you do)

Can "go" for hours (where exactly)

V v w e (big cock but shit sh*g)

Know what I'm doing

(with what) "

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

When a guy’s profile say straight but a tv/cd have verified them yeah right

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *uffolkClareClactonDaveCouple over a year ago

Felixstowe/Clacton-on-Sea

"'Love giving oral - I can stay down there for hours'.

Erm, there are exceptions to the rule.

Yes, I know it's hard to believe but for some of us oral is our favourite thing to do and as a the ladies I've played with know, I'm happy to play down there as long as they want me to remain

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"'Love giving oral - I can stay down there for hours'.

Erm, there are exceptions to the rule.

Yes, I know it's hard to believe but for some of us oral is our favourite thing to do and as a the ladies I've played with know, I'm happy to play down there as long as they want me to remain

I was also going to say that was taking a bit of an unnecessary bashing

When done right you can spend quite an exquisite time rolling one orgasm off after another (yes the lady has to be pre-disposed towards multiple orgasms which not many are) but it can be pretty damn fantastic!!

There's also nothing quite like the empowerment when you get the timing right and pull out of an intercourse orgasm, go down and trigger a massive clitoral orgasm - you do risk a slap in the head if you get it wrong and it's still too sensitive down there

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"'Love giving oral - I can stay down there for hours'.

Erm, there are exceptions to the rule.

Yes, I know it's hard to believe but for some of us oral is our favourite thing to do and as a the ladies I've played with know, I'm happy to play down there as long as they want me to remain

I was also going to say that was taking a bit of an unnecessary bashing

Ooooh... Something I want to try now, clip around the ear be damned!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *ad NannaWoman over a year ago

East London

I love curvy women!

Oh, no thank you.

You're too fat anyway

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Glory hole available as male half at work

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *uffolkClareClactonDaveCouple over a year ago

Felixstowe/Clacton-on-Sea

"I love curvy women!

Oh, no thank you.

You're too fat anyway

A glance at my gorgeous, curvaceous Mistress Clare will tell you how I feel about ladies with curves

I do acknowledge however that a lot of guys say one thing and act totally contrary to their original view.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Ooooh... Something I want to try now, clip around the ear be damned!

I actually quite like the slap - so win-win really

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *edonist79Man over a year ago

Trowbridge

Something about fab being a public company now and pictures are not to be used. Our Sydney University. Pretty sure they won't be an issue.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *acey_RedWoman over a year ago

Liverpool

"'Love giving oral - I can stay down there for hours'.

Erm, there are exceptions to the rule.

Yes, I know it's hard to believe but for some of us oral is our favourite thing to do and as a the ladies I've played with know, I'm happy to play down there as long as they want me to remain

I was also going to say that was taking a bit of an unnecessary bashing

It may just be me but this makes little sense to me.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *ay6661986Man over a year ago

Sunderland

I’ve been asked if I would pay off some random persons electricity bill on first message

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *xploring_FunWoman over a year ago

Coventry

"I love curvy women!

Oh, no thank you.

You're too fat anyway

This!

Or “Ah I didn’t mean to message you, obviously…” as a response to the no thanks.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *naswingdressWoman over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

I have perfect genitals and guarantee complete satisfaction every time

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"'Love giving oral - I can stay down there for hours'.

Erm, there are exceptions to the rule.

Yes, I know it's hard to believe but for some of us oral is our favourite thing to do and as a the ladies I've played with know, I'm happy to play down there as long as they want me to remain

I was also going to say that was taking a bit of an unnecessary bashing

It may just be me but this makes little sense to me. "

What makes little sense? That some women actually can have multiple orgasms over periods of time in excess of an hour purely from oral stimulation? Or that some women can follow an orgasm during penetrative sex with another one from oral stimulation almost consecutively?

I did caveat it with if you get it wrong and go diving when it's too sensitive the reaction can be quite negative and even used a smiley and everything

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"OMG you've got some amazing milky white HUGE tits. I wanna suck em xxxx"

"Pardon? How rude!"

"Oh I didn't realise I was being rude xxxxxxx"

I call BS

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *rispyDuckMan over a year ago

Chinese Takeaway near you

I'm a virgin

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I'm a virgin

Verging on the ridiculous

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Ran out of messages snap me

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *for2Man over a year ago

Bristol

"'Love giving oral - I can stay down there for hours'.

If he's down there that long he's not doing it right. It can take some time to build a lady up to orgasm but not that long. Not to mention some ladies dont like it very much and some wont come orally. We are all different and sometimes it takes a few visits to get it right. And I bet we've all had meets we think are going to be amazing and just aren't. And meets we think aren't going to be great and are totally mind blowing. People are all different, and for me personally I love that, makes it so much more interesting and fun.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

420 friendly

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I'm more about the woman's pleasure than my own.....

Hands up… I do prefer pleasuring a woman first and having her pleasured means a lot to me!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *he_massangerMan over a year ago

Stornoway

Hot sexy couple - erroneous self-assessment.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

When you get copy and paste or lazy messages from people who state it several times in their own profile

and when a polite no thanks comes their way it often generates a funny response.

Always makes me chuckle

not really ‘Bullshit’ as such, though I’ve seen plenty of that.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *iddlesticksMan over a year ago

My nan’s spare room.

I cut my nob in half in a boating accident.

Hang on, that’s me

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I am a straight guy but want your cock as my first. Never done this before

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I cut my nob in half in a boating accident.

Hang on, that’s me

Just had to look! Cock looks all there to me..

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"'Love giving oral - I can stay down there for hours'.

Said no living man

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *iggingMan over a year ago

Oldham

"'Love giving oral - I can stay down there for hours'.

Its true I can

"
so can i

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)