FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > You are a burglar but you only steal something that will only slightly inconvenience your victim
You are a burglar but you only steal something that will only slightly inconvenience your victim
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Kettle... Everyone needs the kettle haha |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The underwires from all her bra's
It may be a God send for them though |
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All the teaspoons except for 1  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Stealing they heart |
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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago
East London |
"Kettle... Everyone needs the kettle haha "
I would hunt you down like a dog if you stole my kettle. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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All the towels. Bath towels, hand towels, tea towels. |
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"All the towels. Bath towels, hand towels, tea towels. "
Oh you savage |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Batteries from her favorite toy |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The floor. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Tweezers |
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The remote control...but I'd turn it to a really crappy channel first |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The TV remote  "
I'd just take the batteries from it lol |
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By *Booboo-Man
over a year ago
Edinburgh |
Open the windows, lock them and steal the little key. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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All the fitted sheets for the beds
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By *anae21Woman
over a year ago
Nearer than you think |
The seat cushions from the sofa |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'd snip off all the plugs  |
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Her knickers from the washing basket |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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One of each sock |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Their caché of sex toys  |
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"The TV remote "
I took the TV remote and came in the toothpaste tube when I got divorce as the other half got everything I worked for in 25 years! Left a nasty taste in her mouth lol
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[Removed by poster at 11/01/22 12:34:53] |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Their children |
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"The TV remote
I took the TV remote and came in the toothpaste tube when I got divorce as the other half got everything I worked for in 25 years! Left a nasty taste in her mouth lol
"
You must have a good aim to get it in that little hole |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The door mat |
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Any sex toys in the bedside table |
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"Kettle... Everyone needs the kettle haha
I would hunt you down like a dog if you stole my kettle. "
You can have mine, don't know why we have one. I don't drink tea of coffee. I did use it they other day to boil water to make jelly. But could do that in a saucepan. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The light out of the fridge. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Take all the chairs and settee so there’s no we’re to sit |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The ring doorbell or modem |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Kitchen taps |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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All the batteries…even the rechargeables |
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By *igtatsMan
over a year ago
gravesend |
All of the toilet roll except an empty tube |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"All of the toilet roll except an empty tube "
Been there, done that, it didn't flush. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The knobs from the cooker/oven. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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All the faucets. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The floor."
This made me lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Browser shortcut to fabs
IS |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Hair ties/bobbles/scrunchies. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I wouldn’t steal anything but I would quietly turn all their light switches upside down |
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By *igtatsMan
over a year ago
gravesend |
"All of the toilet roll except an empty tube
Been there, done that, it didn't flush. "
panic mode |
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I view this as a cyber crime. The item stolen being irreplaceable. It is someone's time stolen by a time waster who leads Fabers on and then ghost and bale out. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Batteries to the TV remote |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"All of the toilet roll except an empty tube
Been there, done that, it didn't flush.
panic mode "
It wasn't my finest moment I must admit. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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[Removed by poster at 11/01/22 12:55:39] |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The milk |
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By *innocentMan
over a year ago
Littlehampton |
I'd cut off about 3 inches from the legs of all the tables ,and instal a camera so I could watched the confused looks |
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The toilet flush itself.
I would kindly leave a pliers for them to use. X x
Kitten.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"All the batteries…even the rechargeables "
Or the door handles |
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I wouldn’t steal anything I’d add something, I’d add a small circle of sticky tape to the bottom of all the batteries in the house. |
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By *r SproutMan
over a year ago
the middle somewhere |
The shoe rack. Nobody wants a hallway full of shoes.
At least I don’t |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Cake and icecubes.  |
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By *ooBulMan
over a year ago
Missin’ Yo’ Kissin’ |
Take your entire toilet rolls you possess but leave you with wet wipes....
You can't say fairer than that! |
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By *ooBulMan
over a year ago
Missin’ Yo’ Kissin’ |
In Sean Hughes comedy the burglar would leave him a note saying that there was nothing worth nicking & they would try to steal him a decent t.v & video instead...
So, that if you have a shit t.v & DVD player? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Clothes hangers. |
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"Clothes hangers. "
when you have finished apple there will be nothing to put in your swag bag  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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One left item from every pair of footwear |
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Tin opener, corkscrew, those little corn on the cob holders...
Oh, and every fuse out of every plug top... |
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The knobs or buttons from the thermostat. |
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Something from inside the toilet cistern to stop it flushing |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Door handles |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Something from inside the toilet cistern to stop it flushing"
The lever |
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By *mily36CWoman
over a year ago
Bedford (or anywhere beginning with B..!?) |
"Cake and icecubes. "
 Cake theft...  ...that goes below the belt!!
Go, before you are lynched!! |
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By *ooBulMan
over a year ago
Missin’ Yo’ Kissin’ |
"Cake and icecubes.
Cake theft... ...that goes below the belt!!
Go, before you are lynched!! "
You're not nicking me "Ginger Nuts!"
"Step back from the Ginger Nuts & Hands off & up in the air!!! |
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I’d steal half an inch from the bottom of one leg of every chair they have. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The microwave. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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One sock out of every pair |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Every left shoe.
Or
All their toilet roll. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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All their cake |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The phone charger |
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The famous Pink Panther diamond. That never seems to be very important in the end. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Take all the labels off the tins in the cupboard |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Their caché of sex toys "
Bring a wheelbarrow |
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Steal all the toilet paper apart from one piece on each roll. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Take all the labels off the tins in the cupboard "
You monster |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Kettle... Everyone needs the kettle haha "
Not true. Adapt and overcome. Use a saucepan. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I wouldnt steal anything, i'd just make the table uneven so it wobbles like it does in every cafe around the country |
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By *mily36CWoman
over a year ago
Bedford (or anywhere beginning with B..!?) |
"All their cake "
Wonko, Not you aswell
Cake theft is the lowest of the low..
Go, before you are lynched also! |
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The gas supply like in "Bottom"! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Bath plug and shower head. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Handsome hands dildo. He can't be without it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Charging cables |
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By *dd_soxMan
over a year ago
Suffolk |
I would take the Esc key off the keyboard... |
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"Handsome hands dildo. He can't be without it. "
 you're brave handling that without a hazmat suit |
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By *mily36CWoman
over a year ago
Bedford (or anywhere beginning with B..!?) |
Any and all sets of keys ... even the ones people keep that they can't remember what they are for! |
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Their denture glue …. Or swap the labels on their toothpaste and their haemorrhoid cream for a proper pout!!  |
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"Any and all sets of keys ... even the ones people keep that they can't remember what they are for!"
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Haha this is funny for a women would be maybe the make up, straighters, hairdryer I know I’d be gutted  for a male maybe there aftershave, hair gel, and gym wear would say toilet seat but they don’t put it down anyway and probably be relieve |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"All their cake
Wonko, Not you aswell
Cake theft is the lowest of the low..
Go, before you are lynched also!"
CAKE |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The bag containing all the other baga in the house
Or the TV remote |
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By *rispyDuckMan
over a year ago
Chinese Takeaway near you |
All the light bulbs & cutlery |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The bag containing all the other baga in the house
Or the TV remote"
Bags* |
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The cardboard tubes out of all the bog roll |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The slat from the bed right under the pillows |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Lube. Although you can't steal mine because spit is more environmentally friendly, cheaper and readily available |
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Toilet roll.
We saw how people respond to that during lockdown. |
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By *avie65Man
over a year ago
In the west. |
The charger cables for Lovense toys. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What are you stealing "
A single clothes peg. They'll never know. Mwhahahaha. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The USB wires for all chargers in the house
Doughnut |
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The alarm from the cooker, so you end up burning your tea |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Phone charger cable |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Their phone charger"
Great minds |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'd probably cry if someone took my calculator and favourite pen. |
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Appletree's calculator and favourite pen |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Had a re think steal the coffee and replace with decaf (absolute savage!) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Bath plug or light bulbs |
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By *rAitchMan
over a year ago
Diagonally Parked in a Parallel Universe |
The little hand off the clock. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Appletree's calculator and favourite pen"
Hm. |
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"Appletree's calculator and favourite pen
Hm. "
Oh, ok. You can have them back
I'll pinch your TV remote instead. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Appletree's calculator and favourite pen
Hm.
Oh, ok. You can have them back
I'll pinch your TV remote instead. "
Go for it. Don't watch the TV |
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"Appletree's calculator and favourite pen
Hm.
Oh, ok. You can have them back
I'll pinch your TV remote instead.
Go for it. Don't watch the TV "
Brilliant, as then I can swap it for someone else's and really confuse them |
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I'd like to steal their dignity...
Thank you..  |
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The plugs by cutting the cables
R |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A single curtain tieback from the lounge. |
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Last year's Christmas cards from the neighbours. So they won't be able to copy the names and have to put to everyone at number 44 |
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By *al01Man
over a year ago
solihull |
All the toilet roll apart from one sheet |
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The cardboard tube from inside the loo roll.
S |
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"Their children "
That would totally not be an inconvenience. |
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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago
Peterborough |
"I'd snip off all the plugs "
FFS, switch of the power first, unless you want to get nominated for a Darwin Award.  |
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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago
Peterborough |
I'd nick their nail clippers, can't find mine. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Phone charger. |
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The remote screen from the smart meter. |
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The white ball from the pool table. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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All their coffee
So they crack up and lose their minds |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Veris & Fabs |
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All of the batteries out their tv remotes.
All of their toilet roll.
All of their shoes laces.
All of their bath towels.
All of their shampoo. I get really annoyed if I get in the shower, wash my hair and then realise we’ve ran out and have to get out of the shower to get some…I imagine it would be even worse if there wasn’t any left to get! |
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By *illibethWoman
over a year ago
Midlands and North Wales |
"The “good” napkins "
People have 'good' napkins? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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[Removed by poster at 11/01/22 19:50:02] |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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One sock from every pair. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The toaster. |
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"One sock from every pair."
My god! So it was you all along?!  |
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I'd cut the plugs off of everything...justvtoo short to reach any socket. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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1 sock from each pair |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"One sock from every pair.
My god! So it was you all along?! "
Damn! I knew I shouldn't have confessed. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I would change the time on every clock by a few minutes but only within 10 mins of each other. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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All of the vowels from their keyboard |
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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago
Peterborough |
The mouse from their desktop. |
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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago
Peterborough |
All the cables from the back of the telly. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The enter key from all the computer keyboards |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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[Removed by poster at 11/01/22 21:37:34] |
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