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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Probably more for the Poly people or the ones who like to share deeper feelings,
How many partners/lovers etc do you think you can handle at once , emotionally? Do you put a limit on it so you don't stretch yourself to thin or do you think there's plenty to go round? Does it depend on the stage of the relationship and level of feelings? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've had three lovers and I handled that fine but there were no romantic feelings involved. I was also sexually involved with a couple of other guys at the time. |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
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Poly here. I guess it's like anything in life, it varies a lot between people doesn't it? Some people are able to have many partners, others two.
On a personal level, I couldn't see myself having quite heavy emotional investment with more than two people at once. I do love easily. Fiercely even. I'm also quite sensitive and overthink a lot so it's for their happiness as well as mine. 
But this is where it gets complicated. I love my friends. Actual love. And that friendship love isn't less than the romantic love I feel for a person. Just different. I could have a few friends who I have sex with and love them but not be in love. So maybe I'm not as much of a relationship anarchist as I've said before. I could maybe have two erm love love people and a few love people. I don't know how to explain this! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Poly here. I guess it's like anything in life, it varies a lot between people doesn't it? Some people are able to have many partners, others two.
On a personal level, I couldn't see myself having quite heavy emotional investment with more than two people at once. I do love easily. Fiercely even. I'm also quite sensitive and overthink a lot so it's for their happiness as well as mine.
But this is where it gets complicated. I love my friends. Actual love. And that friendship love isn't less than the romantic love I feel for a person. Just different. I could have a few friends who I have sex with and love them but not be in love. So maybe I'm not as much of a relationship anarchist as I've said before. I could maybe have two erm love love people and a few love people. I don't know how to explain this!"
Is love love romantic love Meli? Is that the difference? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've had three lovers and I handled that fine but there were no romantic feelings involved. I was also sexually involved with a couple of other guys at the time. "
What's the difference between a lover and someone you're sexually involved with? |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
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" Is love love romantic love Meli? Is that the difference?"
Yes it is romantic love but I try and shy away from placing that above other types. My relationships with friends are as important. Well I thought so until I started thinking about it, rubbish anarchist I am. I don't think I could love more than two people at once but who knows? Maybe I could. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've had three lovers and I handled that fine but there were no romantic feelings involved. I was also sexually involved with a couple of other guys at the time.
What's the difference between a lover and someone you're sexually involved with?"
I guess I characterise involvement as sexual / emotional / romantic. I was emotionally & sexually involved with three men but just sexually with two others. I find these days I need the emotional side in order to have sex with someone but this was a while back. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" Is love love romantic love Meli? Is that the difference?
Yes it is romantic love but I try and shy away from placing that above other types. My relationships with friends are as important. Well I thought so until I started thinking about it, rubbish anarchist I am. I don't think I could love more than two people at once but who knows? Maybe I could. "
I wasn't suggesting it was more important just that the romantic element does make it different. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've had three lovers and I handled that fine but there were no romantic feelings involved. I was also sexually involved with a couple of other guys at the time.
What's the difference between a lover and someone you're sexually involved with?
I guess I characterise involvement as sexual / emotional / romantic. I was emotionally & sexually involved with three men but just sexually with two others. I find these days I need the emotional side in order to have sex with someone but this was a while back. "
Why not romantically involved too? What characterises that for you? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've had three lovers and I handled that fine but there were no romantic feelings involved. I was also sexually involved with a couple of other guys at the time.
What's the difference between a lover and someone you're sexually involved with?
I guess I characterise involvement as sexual / emotional / romantic. I was emotionally & sexually involved with three men but just sexually with two others. I find these days I need the emotional side in order to have sex with someone but this was a while back.
Why not romantically involved too? What characterises that for you?"
Oh that's much harder to describe. I've only been romantically attached to one man in my life and I don't know why it was so different. But it was more intense and I was deeply in love with him. I hope I feel that way again. I don't have all the answers! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've had three lovers and I handled that fine but there were no romantic feelings involved. I was also sexually involved with a couple of other guys at the time.
What's the difference between a lover and someone you're sexually involved with?
I guess I characterise involvement as sexual / emotional / romantic. I was emotionally & sexually involved with three men but just sexually with two others. I find these days I need the emotional side in order to have sex with someone but this was a while back.
Why not romantically involved too? What characterises that for you?
Oh that's much harder to describe. I've only been romantically attached to one man in my life and I don't know why it was so different. But it was more intense and I was deeply in love with him. I hope I feel that way again. I don't have all the answers!"
It all sounds far too complicated for me to wrap my head around |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've had three lovers and I handled that fine but there were no romantic feelings involved. I was also sexually involved with a couple of other guys at the time.
What's the difference between a lover and someone you're sexually involved with?
I guess I characterise involvement as sexual / emotional / romantic. I was emotionally & sexually involved with three men but just sexually with two others. I find these days I need the emotional side in order to have sex with someone but this was a while back.
Why not romantically involved too? What characterises that for you?
Oh that's much harder to describe. I've only been romantically attached to one man in my life and I don't know why it was so different. But it was more intense and I was deeply in love with him. I hope I feel that way again. I don't have all the answers!
It all sounds far too complicated for me to wrap my head around "
I can't say I am finding it straightforward which is why I've given up meeting for a while. |
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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
I think I can handle a higher number but have learnt and am learning ! to choose carefully. You can have strong feelings without neediness and constant chatter, poly people are less needy because they see it as their own responsibility to search out their needs in people, rather than expect a partner to fulfil everything
If you date non poly people you may end up emotionally drained and spread too thin |
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My solo poly stable suits with 5 who I used see
1 weekly
1 monthly
3 quarterly (All hothusbands)
This gave us all quality physical time together as we speak everyday anyway and have/had been partners for nearly 3 years.
This year changed that with 1 moving away and another coming to its natural conclusion, so 2022 is hunting time to seek new longterm partners to coexist with my 3 hothusband relationships  |
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