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Dry as a kangaroo’s jock strap
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Well it’s blooming cold again and that means one guaranteed thing for me; it dries the absolute hell out of my hands!
Not really a brag but if anyone needs anything sanding down…..well, I’m your man and can now do it manually  
Fellow cold induced dry hand gang - let us commiserate and sing sad songs about dry, parched and cracked river beds or something |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Can try sanding down the hair on the side of my head.. my mohawk is in need of maintenance and ill need to save some money this month so wont be getting it cut  |
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"Do you have to wear a silk glove to wank come winter"
 I probably should; My delicate foreskin will surely end up looking like pulled pork if I decide to play with it  (on the plus side though, my eyesight might improve through the abstinence…)  |
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"Can try sanding down the hair on the side of my head.. my mohawk is in need of maintenance and ill need to save some money this month so wont be getting it cut "
Ah ha! Now that is a great idea; My very own barber business. This could be highly lucrative |
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"My hands are exactly the same at the moment. No hand cream is intensive enough  "
I tend to really smother mine in E-45 before going to bed; It soaks in overnight and provides at least a little relief by the morning.
I won’t mention anything about the other benefit of well greased hands in bed….
Nope….no vulgarity here…. |
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"Well it’s blooming cold again and that means one guaranteed thing for me; it dries the absolute hell out of my hands!
Not really a brag but if anyone needs anything sanding down…..well, I’m your man and can now do it manually
Fellow cold induced dry hand gang - let us commiserate and sing sad songs about dry, parched and cracked river beds or something "
Or just buy some moisturiser and stop moaning!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"My hands are exactly the same at the moment. No hand cream is intensive enough
I tend to really smother mine in E-45 before going to bed; It soaks in overnight and provides at least a little relief by the morning.
I won’t mention anything about the other benefit of well greased hands in bed….
Nope….no vulgarity here…. "
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Can try sanding down the hair on the side of my head.. my mohawk is in need of maintenance and ill need to save some money this month so wont be getting it cut
Ah ha! Now that is a great idea; My very own barber business. This could be highly lucrative "
I never said id pay you |
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"Well it’s blooming cold again and that means one guaranteed thing for me; it dries the absolute hell out of my hands!
Not really a brag but if anyone needs anything sanding down…..well, I’m your man and can now do it manually
Fellow cold induced dry hand gang - let us commiserate and sing sad songs about dry, parched and cracked river beds or something
Or just buy some moisturiser and stop moaning! "
I’m really cheap though…. I might have a look in my fridge for an expedient alternative…
Ah ha! I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter! Job done! |
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"Well it’s blooming cold again and that means one guaranteed thing for me; it dries the absolute hell out of my hands!
Not really a brag but if anyone needs anything sanding down…..well, I’m your man and can now do it manually
Fellow cold induced dry hand gang - let us commiserate and sing sad songs about dry, parched and cracked river beds or something
Or just buy some moisturiser and stop moaning!
I’m really cheap though…. I might have a look in my fridge for an expedient alternative…
Ah ha! I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter! Job done! "
I’m a nurse so wash my hands umpteen times a day. My kids used to tell me I had crocodile hands. We get this stuff at work that’s brilliant, and free! |
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"Can try sanding down the hair on the side of my head.. my mohawk is in need of maintenance and ill need to save some money this month so wont be getting it cut
Ah ha! Now that is a great idea; My very own barber business. This could be highly lucrative
I never said id pay you "
Oh….
Oh well, another dream dissipates (I was considering using my dry hands to climb walls Spider Man style earlier - but then remembered that I’m afraid of heights…) |
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"Well it’s blooming cold again and that means one guaranteed thing for me; it dries the absolute hell out of my hands!
Not really a brag but if anyone needs anything sanding down…..well, I’m your man and can now do it manually
Fellow cold induced dry hand gang - let us commiserate and sing sad songs about dry, parched and cracked river beds or something
Or just buy some moisturiser and stop moaning!
I’m really cheap though…. I might have a look in my fridge for an expedient alternative…
Ah ha! I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter! Job done! "
Are we talking Last Tango butter...? x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
At least your cock will be smooth!
Try Nutrogena, or Hand Food by Soap and Glory.
And keep away from the liquid from wet hay nets, its really bed for your skin xx |
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"Ooh, they sound just right for getting a bit of purchase on my clitoris x
I’ll try my very best not to sand you in such a delicate place….
Just occasionally lubricate it with your your mouth xx"
A perfect idea indeed |
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"Well it’s blooming cold again and that means one guaranteed thing for me; it dries the absolute hell out of my hands!
Not really a brag but if anyone needs anything sanding down…..well, I’m your man and can now do it manually
Fellow cold induced dry hand gang - let us commiserate and sing sad songs about dry, parched and cracked river beds or something
Or just buy some moisturiser and stop moaning!
I’m really cheap though…. I might have a look in my fridge for an expedient alternative…
Ah ha! I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter! Job done!
I’m a nurse so wash my hands umpteen times a day. My kids used to tell me I had crocodile hands. We get this stuff at work that’s brilliant, and free! "
Mine are presently closely resembling a Rhino’s bottom (not that I’ve ever gotten close enough to one to verify this but I’m guessing it’s a close approximation)  |
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"Well it’s blooming cold again and that means one guaranteed thing for me; it dries the absolute hell out of my hands!
Not really a brag but if anyone needs anything sanding down…..well, I’m your man and can now do it manually
Fellow cold induced dry hand gang - let us commiserate and sing sad songs about dry, parched and cracked river beds or something
Or just buy some moisturiser and stop moaning!
I’m really cheap though…. I might have a look in my fridge for an expedient alternative…
Ah ha! I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter! Job done!
Are we talking Last Tango butter...? x"
Remember Brando’s later, infamous line: ’Stick your fingers up my ass and tell me you love me.’ Never a more romantic line of dialogue in a film surely….. |
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"At least your cock will be smooth!
Try Nutrogena, or Hand Food by Soap and Glory.
And keep away from the liquid from wet hay nets, its really bed for your skin xx"
I think I might abrade my cock out of existence if I indulge in any vigorous self abuse….   |
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"Well it’s blooming cold again and that means one guaranteed thing for me; it dries the absolute hell out of my hands!
Not really a brag but if anyone needs anything sanding down…..well, I’m your man and can now do it manually
Fellow cold induced dry hand gang - let us commiserate and sing sad songs about dry, parched and cracked river beds or something "
Can't help but your profile is top notch x at last a perfect balance of humour x and the pics are just awesome!
Sorry had to say... Please carry on everyone, nothing to see here... |
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"Well it’s blooming cold again and that means one guaranteed thing for me; it dries the absolute hell out of my hands!
Not really a brag but if anyone needs anything sanding down…..well, I’m your man and can now do it manually
Fellow cold induced dry hand gang - let us commiserate and sing sad songs about dry, parched and cracked river beds or something
Can't help but your profile is top notch x at last a perfect balance of humour x and the pics are just awesome!
Sorry had to say... Please carry on everyone, nothing to see here... "
Thank you  I should add some pics of my hands presently. There must be an audience for these bad boys? (sandpaper fetishists maybe?) |
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"At least your cock will be smooth!
Try Nutrogena, or Hand Food by Soap and Glory.
And keep away from the liquid from wet hay nets, its really bed for your skin xx
I think I might abrade my cock out of existence if I indulge in any vigorous self abuse…. "
Let me moisturise it with Reds Natural Lube. Available at all good pharmacies |
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"At least your cock will be smooth!
Try Nutrogena, or Hand Food by Soap and Glory.
And keep away from the liquid from wet hay nets, its really bed for your skin xx
I think I might abrade my cock out of existence if I indulge in any vigorous self abuse….
Let me moisturise it with Reds Natural Lube. Available at all good pharmacies "
Ooo yesss indeedy! Feel free to coat me liberally with thy luscious lube… |
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