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Language Changes.......
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We all move with the language but ffs...... sometimes there's just NO reason for the change and the new word doesn't explain that it's just an age old aspect of human behaviour dressed up in nonsensical language.
Today = BREADCRUMBING.... Yesterday = Leading you on OR Keeping you dangling OR Playing you for stupid OR arsing about.
Today = GASLIGHTING ... Yesterday = mind games, manipulation, control, lying, wanting to weaken a partner etc.
Today = GHOSTING ..... yeserday = Fucked off without a word. Not even so much as a thankyou. Left me cold. Without a trace......
Along comes a magazine with a bit of psychobabble and new language to sell their wares with and everyone claims to have suffered it ...... once they find out what it is that is ....
What other common occurrence has been re- packaged ? |
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Don't forget narcissist...
I like the way language evolves.
These are all metaphors too so I love that they carry meaning.. maybe slightly more succinctly?
And I love the story of the film behind the term 'gaslighting'
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"Don't forget narcissist...
I like the way language evolves.
These are all metaphors too so I love that they carry meaning.. maybe slightly more succinctly?
And I love the story of the film behind the term 'gaslighting'
"
I'd forgotten Narcissist - momentarily. Seems like everyone knows one or is one but can't tell me what one is.
The film was called Gaslight and you are right it did give meaning to the modern phrase 'gaslighting' I watched it again recently .. Never read the book though .... |
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"Don't forget narcissist...
I like the way language evolves.
These are all metaphors too so I love that they carry meaning.. maybe slightly more succinctly?
And I love the story of the film behind the term 'gaslighting'
I'd forgotten Narcissist - momentarily. Seems like everyone knows one or is one but can't tell me what one is.
The film was called Gaslight and you are right it did give meaning to the modern phrase 'gaslighting' I watched it again recently .. Never read the book though .... "
oooh never knew there was a book. I might hunt it down. I imagine it'll be easier to find than the film. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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To be honest I hate when people just throw around the word narcissist.
Because everyone has suddenly become one or knows of one. Like as soon as they are arsehole they are also narcissists
A narcissist to me is someone who loves himself or herself so much that they disregard everyone else. They come first, they tend to overly love how they look .. and if they could, they’d fuck then selves . Literally Fuck themselves.
Nowadays everyone seem to have become a narc 
Narcissist comes from the Greek tale where narcissus who was known for his beauty, rejected all romantic loves, and ended up falling in love with his own reflection. So that’s where the word comes from.
It’s not self love, but more like vanity and self centrism |
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"Marathon bars.
What the fuck is a snicker.
Wanky Americanism name.
When I used to eat marathons I felt Olympic.
"
Profound statement my man. What the fuck IS a Snicker .. indeed. So profound I need an Opal Fruit ! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"To be honest I hate when people just throw around the word narcissist.
Because everyone has suddenly become one or knows of one. Like as soon as they are arsehole they are also narcissists
A narcissist to me is someone who loves himself or herself so much that they disregard everyone else. They come first, they tend to overly love how they look .. and if they could, they’d fuck then selves . Literally Fuck themselves.
Nowadays everyone seem to have become a narc
Narcissist comes from the Greek tale where narcissus who was known for his beauty, rejected all romantic loves, and ended up falling in love with his own reflection. So that’s where the word comes from.
It’s not self love, but more like vanity and self centrism "
Yes!!! It’s more Than being selfish innit? I always thought that it’s not just selfishness but like it doesnt compute that other people are important too. Something wrong in their brain.
Empath is another one and some folk who use it then make a conscious decision to be it. It’s not necessarily a good thing always either. It seems to me that the majority of real empathetic people have gained that quality from not too nice periods in their lives.
Misophonia too!! Suddenly everyone had that and it was always about getting annoyed with hearing people eat. It’s more than that! It can be hearing someone whisper or really loud wet mouth noises that are louder than the persons voice when they speak. And it really does send them into a rage. Not just pisses then off.
It seems that people want conditions sometimes. Grrr
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Not quite the same but I've noticed a lot of people using the phrase "to which" entirely out of context. "I gave my friend a cake, to which she ate it"  "
Do you smile or Seeth inside?
On a positive side I work with a few folk who kinda get words wrong. But we know exactly what they’re talking about and it always makes me smile. Like in the Paul Simon song |
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"Not quite the same but I've noticed a lot of people using the phrase "to which" entirely out of context. "I gave my friend a cake, to which she ate it"
Do you smile or Seeth inside?
On a positive side I work with a few folk who kinda get words wrong. But we know exactly what they’re talking about and it always makes me smile. Like in the Paul Simon song "
I seethe silently  , same as when people tell me I "should of" done something  |
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"Not quite the same but I've noticed a lot of people using the phrase "to which" entirely out of context. "I gave my friend a cake, to which she ate it"
Do you smile or Seeth inside?
On a positive side I work with a few folk who kinda get words wrong. But we know exactly what they’re talking about and it always makes me smile. Like in the Paul Simon song "
I live Paul Simon! |
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The number of people who self label themselves as 'empaths' ..... just astonishing.
As humans we are all empaths... but the MODERN empath ..... boy do they like to say they 'feel my pain' and think I believe them. ( metaphorically speaking ) |
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"The number of people who self label themselves as 'empaths' ..... just astonishing.
As humans we are all empaths... but the MODERN empath ..... boy do they like to say they 'feel my pain' and think I believe them. ( metaphorically speaking ) "
Agreed. They literally prove they aren't empaths by saying it iny cynical old face! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Empathy is one of the most fascinating words historically though to be fair. Over as short a time as about 100 years. It went from being mainly about appreciating art, to being able to read other people, to experiencing their feelings, to just being a bit of a wishy washy claim of being special now. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"To be honest I hate when people just throw around the word narcissist.
Because everyone has suddenly become one or knows of one. Like as soon as they are arsehole they are also narcissists
A narcissist to me is someone who loves himself or herself so much that they disregard everyone else. They come first, they tend to overly love how they look .. and if they could, they’d fuck then selves . Literally Fuck themselves.
Nowadays everyone seem to have become a narc
Narcissist comes from the Greek tale where narcissus who was known for his beauty, rejected all romantic loves, and ended up falling in love with his own reflection. So that’s where the word comes from.
It’s not self love, but more like vanity and self centrism
Yes!!! It’s more Than being selfish innit? I always thought that it’s not just selfishness but like it doesnt compute that other people are important too. Something wrong in their brain.
Empath is another one and some folk who use it then make a conscious decision to be it. It’s not necessarily a good thing always either. It seems to me that the majority of real empathetic people have gained that quality from not too nice periods in their lives.
Misophonia too!! Suddenly everyone had that and it was always about getting annoyed with hearing people eat. It’s more than that! It can be hearing someone whisper or really loud wet mouth noises that are louder than the persons voice when they speak. And it really does send them into a rage. Not just pisses then off.
It seems that people want conditions sometimes. Grrr
"
Exactly! The narc thing is over heard and over used tho. Every little bad behaviour now seem to fall to the person being a NARC.
Also TOXIC. Thrown anywhere
Toxic masculinity, toxic femininity, toxic people, toxic behaviour … jeez
The only toxic I’ll accept it Britney’s singing it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The number of people who self label themselves as 'empaths' ..... just astonishing.
As humans we are all empaths... but the MODERN empath ..... boy do they like to say they 'feel my pain' and think I believe them. ( metaphorically speaking ) "
Isn’t that what used to be “being able to put yourself in someone’s shoes”?
Fucking hell, empaths seem like those who have super powers to really feel the pain of others on themselves. That’s what empath is / means |
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"Empathy is one of the most fascinating words historically though to be fair. Over as short a time as about 100 years. It went from being mainly about appreciating art, to being able to read other people, to experiencing their feelings, to just being a bit of a wishy washy claim of being special now. "
Used correctly it really is fascinating Lana.... crucial to human experience and relationships .... I do agree with 'wishy washy' .... it's the panto season after all |
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"Don't forget narcissist...
I like the way language evolves.
These are all metaphors too so I love that they carry meaning.. maybe slightly more succinctly?
And I love the story of the film behind the term 'gaslighting'
I'd forgotten Narcissist - momentarily. Seems like everyone knows one or is one but can't tell me what one is.
The film was called Gaslight and you are right it did give meaning to the modern phrase 'gaslighting' I watched it again recently .. Never read the book though .... "
Strangely enough in my experience the people who have learned all the terms and fire them out willynilly including calling people narcissistic are often unaware that they are doing what they are advising others of doing.
I know people who can't have a single conversation without telling you how so and so is a narcissist because they make everything about them. The irony |
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"Don't forget narcissist...
I like the way language evolves.
These are all metaphors too so I love that they carry meaning.. maybe slightly more succinctly?
And I love the story of the film behind the term 'gaslighting'
I'd forgotten Narcissist - momentarily. Seems like everyone knows one or is one but can't tell me what one is.
The film was called Gaslight and you are right it did give meaning to the modern phrase 'gaslighting' I watched it again recently .. Never read the book though ....
Strangely enough in my experience the people who have learned all the terms and fire them out willynilly including calling people narcissistic are often unaware that they are doing what they are advising others of doing.
I know people who can't have a single conversation without telling you how so and so is a narcissist because they make everything about them. The irony "
*Accusing |
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I love the Victorian words and phrases for sexual acts. What they do prove is that there is nothing we do today that hasn't been done on the past....
Anyone got any examples?
An offering to start: 'a buttered bun', what we now call a creampie or sloppy seconds.
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"It's all pseudointellibollox Granny
Or Fuckin' Shite.... for want of a better word like pseudointellibollox.
You do have a way with words  "
Finesse ...... as someone said about themselves on a thread today .... Finesse
Fucking Finesse with their fanny out ..
Ay. Don't say that about my clunge..... I have finesse! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Don't forget narcissist...
I like the way language evolves.
These are all metaphors too so I love that they carry meaning.. maybe slightly more succinctly?
And I love the story of the film behind the term 'gaslighting'
I'd forgotten Narcissist - momentarily. Seems like everyone knows one or is one but can't tell me what one is.
The film was called Gaslight and you are right it did give meaning to the modern phrase 'gaslighting' I watched it again recently .. Never read the book though ....
Strangely enough in my experience the people who have learned all the terms and fire them out willynilly including calling people narcissistic are often unaware that they are doing what they are advising others of doing.
I know people who can't have a single conversation without telling you how so and so is a narcissist because they make everything about them. The irony "
Agreed x
I don’t think I’ve ever used that term, as it’s so specific and probably a medical condition. Someone who can’t prove any empathy towards anyone.
The typical narc character from a film would be the guy from American psycho ( I mean he’s also a murderer but that’s another story) x |
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"I love the Victorian words and phrases for sexual acts. What they do prove is that there is nothing we do today that hasn't been done on the past....
Anyone got any examples?
An offering to start: 'a buttered bun', what we now call a creampie or sloppy seconds.
"
A flyer ..... or to take a flyer was to have sex with your clothes on ...... Today a Quicky! |
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"Empathy is one of the most fascinating words historically though to be fair. Over as short a time as about 100 years. It went from being mainly about appreciating art, to being able to read other people, to experiencing their feelings, to just being a bit of a wishy washy claim of being special now. "
I think there is a big difference between someone being an empath and someone being empathetic. The original meaning with art was to be able to empathise with the painters pain as we all know artists are tortured souls. It was a way to say that they could feel what the artist was trying to portray through their chosen medium.
Beard x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"We all move with the language but ffs...... sometimes there's just NO reason for the change and the new word doesn't explain that it's just an age old aspect of human behaviour dressed up in nonsensical language.
Today = BREADCRUMBING.... Yesterday = Leading you on OR Keeping you dangling OR Playing you for stupid OR arsing about.
Today = GASLIGHTING ... Yesterday = mind games, manipulation, control, lying, wanting to weaken a partner etc.
Today = GHOSTING ..... yeserday = Fucked off without a word. Not even so much as a thankyou. Left me cold. Without a trace......
Along comes a magazine with a bit of psychobabble and new language to sell their wares with and everyone claims to have suffered it ...... once they find out what it is that is ....
What other common occurrence has been re- packaged ?"
 Plus the new versions really don't mean sh*t but are just pu**y! |
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Seeing the words 'homophobic' and 'transphobic' piss me off.
The phobic part implies extreme fear of. I don't think people who use ignorant or offensive slurs are extremely frightened of homosexuals and trans. I think they feel other negative emotions such as disgust, hatred, or resentment.
The phobic words irritate me because they're used to label people who are not necessarily being negative, hateful, or ignorant, but who are instead opening up legitimate controversial debate. |
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"Seeing the words 'homophobic' and 'transphobic' piss me off.
The phobic part implies extreme fear of. I don't think people who use ignorant or offensive slurs are extremely frightened of homosexuals and trans. I think they feel other negative emotions such as disgust, hatred, or resentment.
The phobic words irritate me because they're used to label people who are not necessarily being negative, hateful, or ignorant, but who are instead opening up legitimate controversial debate. "
Good point well made. Phobic is used for those with a fear of or an aversion to so it can be correctly applied.
Digging deeper i'd say most hatred stems from fear which stems from ignorance. |
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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago
East London |
"Empathy is one of the most fascinating words historically though to be fair. Over as short a time as about 100 years. It went from being mainly about appreciating art, to being able to read other people, to experiencing their feelings, to just being a bit of a wishy washy claim of being special now.
I think there is a big difference between someone being an empath and someone being empathetic. The original meaning with art was to be able to empathise with the painters pain as we all know artists are tortured souls. It was a way to say that they could feel what the artist was trying to portray through their chosen medium.
Beard x"
It's actually extremely horrible being empathetic. It means I feel physically ill at funerals or watching anything involving abuse or torture to people or animals that is true life.
I have actual pain in my solar plexus when experiencing extrem empathy and can feel depressed for days.
It isn't a good thing to have. |
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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
"Seeing the words 'homophobic' and 'transphobic' piss me off.
The phobic part implies extreme fear of. I don't think people who use ignorant or offensive slurs are extremely frightened of homosexuals and trans. I think they feel other negative emotions such as disgust, hatred, or resentment.
The phobic words irritate me because they're used to label people who are not necessarily being negative, hateful, or ignorant, but who are instead opening up legitimate controversial debate. "
The etymology of words might be imperfect but it does stand closer scrutiny and phobia doesn’t only apply to a fear of something.
I find that often people who deny trans/homo/bi phobia are those that are looking to pedal the hate but can’t because they will be (legitimately) called one! That’s my experience online though.
It’s entirely possible to open debate whilst being respectful and without being bigoted
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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
I hate to say it Granny but language does evolve, words gain new meanings and it’s only happening faster and faster now.
Complaining about ‘new’ things only serves to make us complaining look older
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"I hate to say it Granny but language does evolve, words gain new meanings and it’s only happening faster and faster now.
Complaining about ‘new’ things only serves to make us complaining look older
"
How odd that you assume that about me  |
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"The number of people who self label themselves as 'empaths' ..... just astonishing.
As humans we are all empaths... but the MODERN empath ..... boy do they like to say they 'feel my pain' and think I believe them. ( metaphorically speaking )
Agreed. They literally prove they aren't empaths by saying it iny cynical old face!"
The pain feelers are similar to the
"I hear what you are saying" brigade.
The ones who intrigue me are those who proclaim that they 'will fight to the death' to uphold someone else's right to have an opinion different to theirs. Bet your life they wouldn't! |
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I quite like some of the terms. If someone tells me they were ghosted I know what they mean without them having to explain further. It's the easiest way to describe it.
I do think a lot of people believe they're psychologists online though. We hear half a story and there's an immediate rush to label a person a narcissist, or to label the behaviour as gaslighting.
What happened to someone being a twat, behaving twattishly? |
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"One of my biggest frustrations is people dropping the article . “Are you going gym” “shall we go beach” “I’m going shops” it’s not hard to throw a “to the” in is it?"
Going bananas started it all!
Now it has moved on to the more imperative version: 'Goggo' as in 'Goggo London'.
'Goggo toilitt' is one I frequently hear , or 'Wongo wee'.
When I worked in a secondary school I was often asked "Sir, cnargo toilitt?'.
I was tempted to reply, "Whether you can depends on you. Whether you might go depends on my permission".
Every one went directly 'toilitt'. going to it was never an option. |
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"I quite like some of the terms. If someone tells me they were ghosted I know what they mean without them having to explain further. It's the easiest way to describe it.
I do think a lot of people believe they're psychologists online though. We hear half a story and there's an immediate rush to label a person a narcissist, or to label the behaviour as gaslighting.
What happened to someone being a twat, behaving twattishly?"
Precisely ! Now everyone has a built in excuse and everyone else must pander. |
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Nearly every word is created for something that already exists and usually to prevent you having to say a phrase to describe the same thing though we also have many words for the same things but they just have very subtle differences or different connotations. |
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"I quite like some of the terms. If someone tells me they were ghosted I know what they mean without them having to explain further. It's the easiest way to describe it.
I do think a lot of people believe they're psychologists online though. We hear half a story and there's an immediate rush to label a person a narcissist, or to label the behaviour as gaslighting.
What happened to someone being a twat, behaving twattishly?"
Though at the same time, as someone who does a lot of adult safeguarding, abusive behaviour within relationships is depressingly common and actually so normalised that it's often romanticised to have a possesive and controlling partner and many people don't recognise when they're being emotionally abused. |
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"I quite like some of the terms. If someone tells me they were ghosted I know what they mean without them having to explain further. It's the easiest way to describe it.
I do think a lot of people believe they're psychologists online though. We hear half a story and there's an immediate rush to label a person a narcissist, or to label the behaviour as gaslighting.
What happened to someone being a twat, behaving twattishly?
Though at the same time, as someone who does a lot of adult safeguarding, abusive behaviour within relationships is depressingly common and actually so normalised that it's often romanticised to have a possesive and controlling partner and many people don't recognise when they're being emotionally abused. "
Hallelujah! Some words become so commonplace that for some it can put drama into a dull life instead of it being called out for what it is. |
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"
Though at the same time, as someone who does a lot of adult safeguarding, abusive behaviour within relationships is depressingly common and actually so normalised that it's often romanticised to have a possesive and controlling partner and many people don't recognise when they're being emotionally abused. "
Ain't THAT the truth. I've seen this soooo many times, especially on here.
We used to live next door to a couple like that. I was talking to her about his behaviour one day and she said "that's why I love him".  |
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"
Though at the same time, as someone who does a lot of adult safeguarding, abusive behaviour within relationships is depressingly common and actually so normalised that it's often romanticised to have a possesive and controlling partner and many people don't recognise when they're being emotionally abused.
Ain't THAT the truth. I've seen this soooo many times, especially on here.
We used to live next door to a couple like that. I was talking to her about his behaviour one day and she said "that's why I love him". "
Or very often people blame themselves for their partner's behaviour. Though often part of the abuse is convincing them of this. |
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By *aliceWoman
over a year ago
Birmingham |
Language is constantly evolving to meet the needs of the times. Its a prime function of language to allow people to express ideas and concepts that are relevant and important. The English language is unrecognisable from hundreds of years ago as anyone who's had to sit and study an old or middle English text will attest to! |
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"
Though at the same time, as someone who does a lot of adult safeguarding, abusive behaviour within relationships is depressingly common and actually so normalised that it's often romanticised to have a possesive and controlling partner and many people don't recognise when they're being emotionally abused.
Ain't THAT the truth. I've seen this soooo many times, especially on here.
We used to live next door to a couple like that. I was talking to her about his behaviour one day and she said "that's why I love him".
Or very often people blame themselves for their partner's behaviour. Though often part of the abuse is convincing them of this."
Yes I've seen that. If you're modifying your perfectly normal and reasonable behaviour for fear of making someone angry or to keep someone with you there's a problem. |
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"Language is constantly evolving to meet the needs of the times. Its a prime function of language to allow people to express ideas and concepts that are relevant and important. The English language is unrecognisable from hundreds of years ago as anyone who's had to sit and study an old or middle English text will attest to!"
It's why I gave up on the original Canterbury Tales and bought a modern translation |
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"I quite like some of the terms. If someone tells me they were ghosted I know what they mean without them having to explain further. It's the easiest way to describe it.
I do think a lot of people believe they're psychologists online though. We hear half a story and there's an immediate rush to label a person a narcissist, or to label the behaviour as gaslighting.
What happened to someone being a twat, behaving twattishly?
Though at the same time, as someone who does a lot of adult safeguarding, abusive behaviour within relationships is depressingly common and actually so normalised that it's often romanticised to have a possesive and controlling partner and many people don't recognise when they're being emotionally abused. "
Far too common sadly, seeing it with a loved one and when to raise it/intervene can be a tricky one..
I cringe on here when I see a profile where 'she' has said he wants to see me 'ruined' even whilst accepting that it could all be fine.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Nice. Originally it meant silly or foolish, then it evolved to mean extravagant in dress, then precise in dress, then precise in reputation and now it means quite good. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We all move with the language but ffs...... sometimes there's just NO reason for the change and the new word doesn't explain that it's just an age old aspect of human behaviour dressed up in nonsensical language.
Today = BREADCRUMBING.... Yesterday = Leading you on OR Keeping you dangling OR Playing you for stupid OR arsing about.
Today = GASLIGHTING ... Yesterday = mind games, manipulation, control, lying, wanting to weaken a partner etc.
Today = GHOSTING ..... yeserday = Fucked off without a word. Not even so much as a thankyou. Left me cold. Without a trace......
Along comes a magazine with a bit of psychobabble and new language to sell their wares with and everyone claims to have suffered it ...... once they find out what it is that is ....
What other common occurrence has been re- packaged ?"
Today = CAR .... yesterday motorised carriage.
Re narcissists, there's a reason everyone claims to know one and that is they probably do. Narcism is a characteristic found in numerous psychiatric disorders ranging from psychopathy to borderline personality disorders. On top of that, our (Western) culture with its emphasis on self actualisation has normalised narcissistic behaviors and actively encourages them.
I agree that there are a huge amount of people who use labels that have actual clinical definitions without having the professional qualifications to make a clinical diagnosis but that doesn't mean they don't understand the behaviour.
We're funny things us humans, we hit our teenage years and believe we're so different, we see the world differently to our parents who just don't understand this modern life. Then 10 years later we start to get uneasy about the language, songs and ideas of young people and before you know it we're the old fogies we used to deride, unable to keep up with the "modern" world talking about the good old days and bemoaning the lack of respect from the youth of today.
Language has changed? Forsooth, they be bewitched by devilry, alas that such afflictions befall me in the twilight of life.
Mr |
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Words evolve and are disputed in their meanings even as it occurs. Language is still the most active globalised battleground of class and identity.
We change a lot faster these days. Some just to satisfy the "I am not worthy till I can label my ills and share them with you all" types, desperate to claim immortality by coining a good definition of their oh-so-unique malaise first. The fact that they (and even in this thread) do not accurately capture the meaning is part of the pleasure and pain of semantics.
I blame t'interweb.
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Marathon bars.
What the fuck is a snicker.
Wanky Americanism name.
When I used to eat marathons I felt Olympic.
"
I absolutely refuse to call them anything but...Marathon! |
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