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A Problem Shared…

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By *ensuallover1000 OP   Man  over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

A serious question from me for a change; How open are you at expressing your worries/concerns or problems to others?

Are you very open in this regards (dependant upon whom you are confiding in) or else do you tend to bottle your troubles up and suffer in silence?

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By *orace99Man  over a year ago

York

I generally bottle up feelings I can tell some people what is going on but never the way it makes me feel.

I have one person that I trust implicitly who I can tell everything to as I know they understand where I am and how I got there.

Reach out if you are in a dark place

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Generally terrible. But am now getting better... A brave face isnt brave and all that.

Tbh, I struggle with expressing emotions as emotions. (If that makes sense). I can tell ppl I'm struggling ... But cant release the body

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By *ussle SproutMan  over a year ago

the middle

I bottle it all up, I can talk to people on here easily and open up. But telling family or friends my worries and problems never happens

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By *ustamanMan  over a year ago

weymouth

Crap, I keep it all in - stoic stiff upper lip and all that. Twat really but unfortunately that's who I am.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"A serious question from me for a change; How open are you at expressing your worries/concerns or problems to others?

Are you very open in this regards (dependant upon whom you are confiding in) or else do you tend to bottle your troubles up and suffer in silence?

"

Can I ask your questions with a question honestly no jokes here !!

Do you as a man talk about your emotional baggage with anyone ???

I mean the shit that keeps you from getting out bed and a decent night sleep ?I don’t……….

I can bitch and moan all day

But I don’t talk about the real issue’s !

Good question OP

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By *ora the explorerWoman  over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

Keep it all in always. Unless there’s something someone can do about it I don’t see the point worrying/burdening others. Never have done x

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I have one friend (my only friend)I can tell most things to. She knows about my past but I hold back somethings,she worries about me and she has a lot too deal with herself.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Keep it all in always. Unless there’s something someone can do about it I don’t see the point worrying/burdening others. Never have done x"

I was very much this. Then one day it wouldn't stay in, and I went pop. The aftershocks are still being felt. Probably will for the rest of my life. Tastes like shit

Reach out sometimes

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By *ora the explorerWoman  over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

[Removed by poster at 19/11/21 13:38:41]

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By *ora the explorerWoman  over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

[Removed by poster at 19/11/21 13:38:38]

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By *ora the explorerWoman  over a year ago

Paradise, Herts


"Keep it all in always. Unless there’s something someone can do about it I don’t see the point worrying/burdening others. Never have done x

I was very much this. Then one day it wouldn't stay in, and I went pop. The aftershocks are still being felt. Probably will for the rest of my life. Tastes like shit

Reach out sometimes "

Ffs. I’ll try again! Just the way I am I suppose. I have gone pop a few times! Xx

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Keep it all in always. Unless there’s something someone can do about it I don’t see the point worrying/burdening others. Never have done x

I was very much this. Then one day it wouldn't stay in, and I went pop. The aftershocks are still being felt. Probably will for the rest of my life. Tastes like shit

Reach out sometimes

Ffs. I’ll try again! Just the way I am I suppose. I have gone pop a few times! Xx"

We aren’t talking kids Nora we know at this stage you have a football team !!!

We are talking emotions

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By *ora the explorerWoman  over a year ago

Paradise, Herts


"Keep it all in always. Unless there’s something someone can do about it I don’t see the point worrying/burdening others. Never have done x

I was very much this. Then one day it wouldn't stay in, and I went pop. The aftershocks are still being felt. Probably will for the rest of my life. Tastes like shit

Reach out sometimes

Ffs. I’ll try again! Just the way I am I suppose. I have gone pop a few times! Xx

We aren’t talking kids Nora we know at this stage you have a football team !!!

We are talking emotions "

I only have 2! That’s enough. I’ve done my bit for the population

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By *rincess peachWoman  over a year ago

shits creek

Incredibly open with my shit.

For no other reason than so others don't feel alone in their issues.

When I'm in the grip of it tho, I tend to dumb down just how hard I'm finding things. Wanting to end my life and being willing to end my life are 2 different things and I don't want to create a scene or worry people when I'm in that darkness

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Keep it all in always. Unless there’s something someone can do about it I don’t see the point worrying/burdening others. Never have done x

I was very much this. Then one day it wouldn't stay in, and I went pop. The aftershocks are still being felt. Probably will for the rest of my life. Tastes like shit

Reach out sometimes

Ffs. I’ll try again! Just the way I am I suppose. I have gone pop a few times! Xx

We aren’t talking kids Nora we know at this stage you have a football team !!!

We are talking emotions

I only have 2! That’s enough. I’ve done my bit for the population "

Yep you contributed something alright !

High 5

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

It depends on the problem itself, some i have absolutely no issue expressing, others are much more secret and ill only express those with ppl i deem worth opening up to.

Everyone has a gooey inside, it just depends how much goo there is compared to the layers of hardened shell, and how many cracks we allow to open to expose that gooey inside

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"It depends on the problem itself, some i have absolutely no issue expressing, others are much more secret and ill only express those with ppl i deem worth opening up to.

Everyone has a gooey inside, it just depends how much goo there is compared to the layers of hardened shell, and how many cracks we allow to open to expose that gooey inside"

Been a while since anyone e has put some goo inside me

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By *rincess peachWoman  over a year ago

shits creek


"It depends on the problem itself, some i have absolutely no issue expressing, others are much more secret and ill only express those with ppl i deem worth opening up to.

Everyone has a gooey inside, it just depends how much goo there is compared to the layers of hardened shell, and how many cracks we allow to open to expose that gooey inside

Been a while since anyone e has put some goo inside me "

I'll empty a creme egg up yer shitter Jen, how's that?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 19/11/21 13:48:42]

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Fuck

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By *rincess peachWoman  over a year ago

shits creek


"It depends on the problem itself, some i have absolutely no issue expressing, others are much more secret and ill only express those with ppl i deem worth opening up to.

Everyone has a gooey inside, it just depends how much goo there is compared to the layers of hardened shell, and how many cracks we allow to open to expose that gooey inside

Been a while since anyone e has put some goo inside me

Cadbury cream egg season soon "

Fucking love em

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By *parkle1974Woman  over a year ago

Leeds

I bottle things up as at the end of the day, no-one really gives a shit anyway x

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I usually bottle mine up. I absolutely know it’s no good to do so, and it has made me quite (mentally) poorly.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I probably open up more to people I don't know because I find it easier to have that gap. If I told someone I knew all my worries, I would feel like it would constantly be an elephant in the room.

I don't want to be that 'broken friend' but I don't mind being that 'broken stranger'.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

All filed away to be dealt with in due course. I may share some experiences with a select few, but the fallout I mostly keep to myself.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Oh princess....

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Keep it all in always. Unless there’s something someone can do about it I don’t see the point worrying/burdening others. Never have done x"

Snap, I’m the same. X

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

It's written all over my face when I'm low so people usually ask. But yes, I share. Bottling it up just leads to long term depression in my experience.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"It depends on the problem itself, some i have absolutely no issue expressing, others are much more secret and ill only express those with ppl i deem worth opening up to.

Everyone has a gooey inside, it just depends how much goo there is compared to the layers of hardened shell, and how many cracks we allow to open to expose that gooey inside

Been a while since anyone e has put some goo inside me

Cadbury cream egg season soon

Fucking love em "

You must of jumped on that one cause that was gone ASAP !!

They are pretty fucking cool tho

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Incredibly open with my shit.

For no other reason than so others don't feel alone in their issues.

When I'm in the grip of it tho, I tend to dumb down just how hard I'm finding things. Wanting to end my life and being willing to end my life are 2 different things and I don't want to create a scene or worry people when I'm in that darkness "

Just so long as you can still tell the difference numbnuts!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"It depends on the problem itself, some i have absolutely no issue expressing, others are much more secret and ill only express those with ppl i deem worth opening up to."

Following on from this, Princess Peach is the only person from fab i have shared something with that is a deep secret of mine regarding how i feel. In fact, shes one of very few ppl i have shared that with, but even then it was a passing mention, i didnt go deep into it

However I have no problems talking about my anxiety, my depression, suicidal thoughts, relationship issues with friends and family, how i wasted my youth, existential crises, and so on.

But there are are some things that will never leave the depths of my mind, they are my monsters to live with. I dont need curing and i dont need a therapist, i embrace those demons inside me, its the only way for me to be happy with who.. what i am, and not losing my mind

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By *rincess peachWoman  over a year ago

shits creek


"It depends on the problem itself, some i have absolutely no issue expressing, others are much more secret and ill only express those with ppl i deem worth opening up to.

Following on from this, Princess Peach is the only person from fab i have shared something with that is a deep secret of mine regarding how i feel. In fact, shes one of very few ppl i have shared that with, but even then it was a passing mention, i didnt go deep into it

However I have no problems talking about my anxiety, my depression, suicidal thoughts, relationship issues with friends and family, how i wasted my youth, existential crises, and so on.

But there are are some things that will never leave the depths of my mind, they are my monsters to live with. I dont need curing and i dont need a therapist, i embrace those demons inside me, its the only way for me to be happy with who.. what i am, and not losing my mind"

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


" I'll empty a creme egg up yer shitter Jen, how's that? "

Lol ew does it have to be a creme egg those are horrid

Go crazy with the strawberry angel delight though

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By *rincess peachWoman  over a year ago

shits creek


" I'll empty a creme egg up yer shitter Jen, how's that?

Lol ew does it have to be a creme egg those are horrid

Go crazy with the strawberry angel delight though "

angel delight reminds me of my sister and leaves a sour taste in my mouth

I could eat a box of creme eggs like normal people eat pringles!

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By *nly4funMan  over a year ago

Nottingham


"I bottle things up as at the end of the day, no-one really gives a shit anyway x"

You need to surround yourself with empathetic people my lovely.

If you can avoid pushing them away through being dismissive (not saying you are, after all I don’t know you!!), then there’ll be people around you know your shit and can help you deal with it.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"It depends on the problem itself, some i have absolutely no issue expressing, others are much more secret and ill only express those with ppl i deem worth opening up to.

Everyone has a gooey inside, it just depends how much goo there is compared to the layers of hardened shell, and how many cracks we allow to open to expose that gooey inside

Been a while since anyone e has put some goo inside me

Cadbury cream egg season soon

Fucking love em

You must of jumped on that one cause that was gone ASAP !!

They are pretty fucking cool tho "

I can never understand this. They're sooooo sickly!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

It's complicated because, for a lot of guys especially, we were only allowed to express certain emotions and others got suppressed due to conditioning.

Being able to even acknowledge them in the first place can be incredibly difficult faced with a lifetime of suppressing/ignoring them.

Plus emotions are not linear, they can be complex and trying to label them with a narrow description isn't always helpful.

Ultimately, speaking out and verbalising the physical/mental sensations can at least help quell discomfort or help us to start unraveling it.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


" I'll empty a creme egg up yer shitter Jen, how's that?

Lol ew does it have to be a creme egg those are horrid

Go crazy with the strawberry angel delight though

angel delight reminds me of my sister and leaves a sour taste in my mouth

I could eat a box of creme eggs like normal people eat pringles!"

Strop bragging !!!

If you ever wanna back that hard ass Cadbury egg eating shit pm me !!!!

Would be a Waste of your time tho!!!!!! you get smoked

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"It depends on the problem itself, some i have absolutely no issue expressing, others are much more secret and ill only express those with ppl i deem worth opening up to.

Everyone has a gooey inside, it just depends how much goo there is compared to the layers of hardened shell, and how many cracks we allow to open to expose that gooey inside

Been a while since anyone e has put some goo inside me

Cadbury cream egg season soon

Fucking love em

You must of jumped on that one cause that was gone ASAP !!

They are pretty fucking cool tho

I can never understand this. They're sooooo sickly! "

Hate them but i through my hat in the ring so see what happens

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By *nly4funMan  over a year ago

Nottingham


"Keep it all in always. Unless there’s something someone can do about it I don’t see the point worrying/burdening others. Never have done x

I was very much this. Then one day it wouldn't stay in, and I went pop. The aftershocks are still being felt. Probably will for the rest of my life. Tastes like shit

Reach out sometimes

Ffs. I’ll try again! Just the way I am I suppose. I have gone pop a few times! Xx"

Listening to someone else’s shit is not a burden. For lots of people (even a crusty old git like me), it actually feels good to be able to offer support. Friends are like walls - they can provide support, shield you from passing dangers and generally help you to feel safe - you can let your walls down and rely on theirs ( if they are real friends)!!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"It's complicated because, for a lot of guys especially, we were only allowed to express certain emotions and others got suppressed due to conditioning.

Being able to even acknowledge them in the first place can be incredibly difficult faced with a lifetime of suppressing/ignoring them.

Plus emotions are not linear, they can be complex and trying to label them with a narrow description isn't always helpful.

Ultimately, speaking out and verbalising the physical/mental sensations can at least help quell discomfort or help us to start unraveling it. "

I guess it's like a muscle for many people. Left unused, it's harder to open up to others. No-one can swing from never saying a word to full emotional honesty. It's finding the little ways to be open without being too vulnerable.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


" I'll empty a creme egg up yer shitter Jen, how's that?

Lol ew does it have to be a creme egg those are horrid

Go crazy with the strawberry angel delight though

angel delight reminds me of my sister and leaves a sour taste in my mouth

I could eat a box of creme eggs like normal people eat pringles!"

Nooo god i barely tolerate the smell of one nevermind eat it

But sure you get cramming them creme eggs up my ass as long as you have fun doing it, ill be like a human pez dispenser for you but with creme eggs

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By *rincess peachWoman  over a year ago

shits creek


"It's complicated because, for a lot of guys especially, we were only allowed to express certain emotions and others got suppressed due to conditioning.

Being able to even acknowledge them in the first place can be incredibly difficult faced with a lifetime of suppressing/ignoring them.

Plus emotions are not linear, they can be complex and trying to label them with a narrow description isn't always helpful.

Ultimately, speaking out and verbalising the physical/mental sensations can at least help quell discomfort or help us to start unraveling it. "

Believe it or not I can relate to a certain degree. I'll never be able to fully understand the implications of being born male and the presures that come with it, however I do come from a tense childhood where emotions were something we weren't allowed to have or show, and heaven help you if you did cry.

Sometimes I feel like such a fucking nob when I don't know how to describe what I'm feeling, or why I'm feeling it. And one thing I was certainly never taught was how to work through and deal with emotions in a healthy way.

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By *rincess peachWoman  over a year ago

shits creek


" I'll empty a creme egg up yer shitter Jen, how's that?

Lol ew does it have to be a creme egg those are horrid

Go crazy with the strawberry angel delight though

angel delight reminds me of my sister and leaves a sour taste in my mouth

I could eat a box of creme eggs like normal people eat pringles!

Strop bragging !!!

If you ever wanna back that hard ass Cadbury egg eating shit pm me !!!!

Would be a Waste of your time tho!!!!!! you get smoked "

I don't think there are words to describe how much I love a creme egg or 12.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"It's complicated because, for a lot of guys especially, we were only allowed to express certain emotions and others got suppressed due to conditioning.

Being able to even acknowledge them in the first place can be incredibly difficult faced with a lifetime of suppressing/ignoring them.

Plus emotions are not linear, they can be complex and trying to label them with a narrow description isn't always helpful.

Ultimately, speaking out and verbalising the physical/mental sensations can at least help quell discomfort or help us to start unraveling it.

Believe it or not I can relate to a certain degree. I'll never be able to fully understand the implications of being born male and the presures that come with it, however I do come from a tense childhood where emotions were something we weren't allowed to have or show, and heaven help you if you did cry.

Sometimes I feel like such a fucking nob when I don't know how to describe what I'm feeling, or why I'm feeling it. And one thing I was certainly never taught was how to work through and deal with emotions in a healthy way.

"

Your last paragraph is why some of us are a little, or a lot, more screwed up than we really need to be. It was never talked about as it showed weakness for the one suffering, and might be awkward for the one on the receiving end.

Even our more enlightened present culture has problems. Just this lunchtime there was a Royal Marines Col. on telly talking about how more open they are to their troops mental health. Sounds all very woke and positive but I couldn't help thinking how that would pan out in reality if some bootie piped up with 'actually Boss, I've had a terrible few days what with Nobby and the boys getting blown to shit. Is it ok if I sit this one out?'

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By *ensuallover1000 OP   Man  over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

Thank you for your honesty everyone

I must regretfully admit that I to, am very much a ‘bottler’.

I was brought up always encouraged to express anything and everything that was worrying me yet seem to have some sort of invisible barrier of sorts erected, in that even though I may wish to share something, I cannot bring myself to air it.

Sad really. But I muddle on

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By *parkle1974Woman  over a year ago

Leeds


"I bottle things up as at the end of the day, no-one really gives a shit anyway x

You need to surround yourself with empathetic people my lovely.

If you can avoid pushing them away through being dismissive (not saying you are, after all I don’t know you!!), then there’ll be people around you know your shit and can help you deal with it."

I learned a long time ago to keep people at arms length. What they don't know, they can't use to hurt you all over again x

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I bottle things up as at the end of the day, no-one really gives a shit anyway x

You need to surround yourself with empathetic people my lovely.

If you can avoid pushing them away through being dismissive (not saying you are, after all I don’t know you!!), then there’ll be people around you know your shit and can help you deal with it.

I learned a long time ago to keep people at arms length. What they don't know, they can't use to hurt you all over again x"

Sadly, there is a lot of truth in that..

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By *parkle1974Woman  over a year ago

Leeds


"I bottle things up as at the end of the day, no-one really gives a shit anyway x

You need to surround yourself with empathetic people my lovely.

If you can avoid pushing them away through being dismissive (not saying you are, after all I don’t know you!!), then there’ll be people around you know your shit and can help you deal with it.

I learned a long time ago to keep people at arms length. What they don't know, they can't use to hurt you all over again x

Sadly, there is a lot of truth in that.."

Very much so x

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"

Your last paragraph is why some of us are a little, or a lot, more screwed up than we really need to be. It was never talked about as it showed weakness for the one suffering, and might be awkward for the one on the receiving end.

Even our more enlightened present culture has problems. Just this lunchtime there was a Royal Marines Col. on telly talking about how more open they are to their troops mental health. Sounds all very woke and positive but I couldn't help thinking how that would pan out in reality if some bootie piped up with 'actually Boss, I've had a terrible few days what with Nobby and the boys getting blown to shit. Is it ok if I sit this one out?'"

Exactly, and it's prevalent everywhere.

How many people feel they could actually call into the office and say they're feeling low and can't make it to work today? And even if they did, would it really be received with understanding?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"It's complicated because, for a lot of guys especially, we were only allowed to express certain emotions and others got suppressed due to conditioning.

Being able to even acknowledge them in the first place can be incredibly difficult faced with a lifetime of suppressing/ignoring them.

Plus emotions are not linear, they can be complex and trying to label them with a narrow description isn't always helpful.

Ultimately, speaking out and verbalising the physical/mental sensations can at least help quell discomfort or help us to start unraveling it.

Believe it or not I can relate to a certain degree. I'll never be able to fully understand the implications of being born male and the presures that come with it, however I do come from a tense childhood where emotions were something we weren't allowed to have or show, and heaven help you if you did cry.

Sometimes I feel like such a fucking nob when I don't know how to describe what I'm feeling, or why I'm feeling it. And one thing I was certainly never taught was how to work through and deal with emotions in a healthy way.

"

I'm sure you can. It's not a male-specific issue, but generally, more guys have been brought up in that way. And yes many households stunted emotional expression and certainly didn't cultivate healthy ways to acknowledge and express emotions.

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By *orace99Man  over a year ago

York


"Incredibly open with my shit.

For no other reason than so others don't feel alone in their issues.

When I'm in the grip of it tho, I tend to dumb down just how hard I'm finding things. Wanting to end my life and being willing to end my life are 2 different things and I don't want to create a scene or worry people when I'm in that darkness "

It very difficult to tell some of the darker days.

I get scenarios pop into my head randomly I told my person about a recent one but the worried look on their face has stopped me mentioning any more

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By *rincess peachWoman  over a year ago

shits creek


"

Your last paragraph is why some of us are a little, or a lot, more screwed up than we really need to be. It was never talked about as it showed weakness for the one suffering, and might be awkward for the one on the receiving end.

Even our more enlightened present culture has problems. Just this lunchtime there was a Royal Marines Col. on telly talking about how more open they are to their troops mental health. Sounds all very woke and positive but I couldn't help thinking how that would pan out in reality if some bootie piped up with 'actually Boss, I've had a terrible few days what with Nobby and the boys getting blown to shit. Is it ok if I sit this one out?'

Exactly, and it's prevalent everywhere.

How many people feel they could actually call into the office and say they're feeling low and can't make it to work today? And even if they did, would it really be received with understanding? "

I don't, not in the slightest and this is the same place I worked when I had a full on breakdown and was signed off for 9 months what, 4 years ago? 5?

Still don't feel confident that I could call in sick even with that history. Few reasons, firstly, wouldn't wanna let anyone down, secondly, would they believe my reason to be valid? Thirdly, can't afford to lose a days pay.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

For years I was gaslighted by my own mother so can only talk to hubby, they hate each other

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Exactly, and it's prevalent everywhere.

How many people feel they could actually call into the office and say they're feeling low and can't make it to work today? And even if they did, would it really be received with understanding? "

I can tell you from experience the workplace wouldnt give a monkeys about how you wwre feeling, if anyone worked somehwere where their mental health was considered in that way theyre extremely lucky.

When i was working at maccys my dog ended up needing to be put down, i was crushed. When i called work to say that i might be a little late all i received was "im disappointed in you, you should be coming to work on time" "i dont see how thats a good enough excuse to be late" etc.

I still went to see my dog off, and guess what.. I STILL CLOCKED IN 1 MINUTE BEFORE SHIFT STARTED.. that cunt of a manager i had said absolutely nothing to me the entire day and i made sure everyone in shift knew what what that prick said to me over the phone.

If i got grilled by my manager for that then not turning up at work due to yor mental health sure as hell aint gonna be taken seriously. Which is why i feel mental health awareness is not being taken seriously enough

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Nope I bottled it up then got depressed and then divorced from the only person I ever cared about . But that's life

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Goes to show, all this "talk" about mental health... same with all the trends that crop up through social media and then end up being bandied around in the papers and on telly.. talk means nothing with action.

Mental health this, mental health that. When it comes to the crunch, there aren't many employers that will support you.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Goes to show, all this "talk" about mental health... same with all the trends that crop up through social media and then end up being bandied around in the papers and on telly.. talk means nothing with action.

Mental health this, mental health that. When it comes to the crunch, there aren't many employers that will support you.

"

Going by this thread there are probably very few employers that could, even if they wanted to. Whilst having a mental health issue doesn't necessarily mean you can't work, they might have to make allowances. Individuals could also be precluded from certain areas of work due to their mental state. What profit or service based sector can cope with that?

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By *ollycouple71Couple  over a year ago

manchester


"I usually bottle mine up. I absolutely know it’s no good to do so, and it has made me quite (mentally) poorly.

"

This x

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I employ my hubby but when I'm in a position to take on another then they will be afforded the same level of support my hubby has, I have been through a lot and my mental health is in the toilet but it is he that pulls me through, my door is always open x

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I used to bottle everything up, would explain my temperament back then. Coming to the age where you realise it's better to be open. To be fair, getting into this lifestyle with my partner has been a revelation. When you're given this much freedom and trust, you'd be a fool to break it but, in turn its opened up our communication in a whole new way. I've learned more about myself in the 4 months on here than I have in almost 40 years of life.

Communication is key, to everything

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Thank you for your honesty everyone

I must regretfully admit that I to, am very much a ‘bottler’.

I was brought up always encouraged to express anything and everything that was worrying me yet seem to have some sort of invisible barrier of sorts erected, in that even though I may wish to share something, I cannot bring myself to air it.

Sad really. But I muddle on "

Start of by writing down what it is, that you can't say. It helps you get the words out in the right order. If you're still not able to say them, give the person (if you trust them) the letter. If you practice opening up enough, it becomes habit, part of you.

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By *riar BelisseWoman  over a year ago

Delightful Bliss

I bottle purely because I don't trust anyone except my closest friends to be able to help me

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By *ensuallover1000 OP   Man  over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…


"Thank you for your honesty everyone

I must regretfully admit that I to, am very much a ‘bottler’.

I was brought up always encouraged to express anything and everything that was worrying me yet seem to have some sort of invisible barrier of sorts erected, in that even though I may wish to share something, I cannot bring myself to air it.

Sad really. But I muddle on

Start of by writing down what it is, that you can't say. It helps you get the words out in the right order. If you're still not able to say them, give the person (if you trust them) the letter. If you practice opening up enough, it becomes habit, part of you. "

Those are some really fantastic ideas to facilitate the process of opening up. Thank you

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By *ora the explorerWoman  over a year ago

Paradise, Herts


"I bottle purely because I don't trust anyone except my closest friends to be able to help me"

This too. But I also don’t like people molly coddling me. I’ve never been good with sympathy I can’t stand it and I couldn’t bare the are you ok messages lol.

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By *heGateKeeperMan  over a year ago

Stratford

I’m a super closed book and wish I opened up more rather than internalising the dialogue/dilemma

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By *UGGYBEAR2015Man  over a year ago

BRIDPORT

I don’t class it as ‘bottling it up’.

If I have things that need dealing with , I deal with them.

My problem, my solution.

I have invariably found a problem shared is a problem doubled.

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By *heGateKeeperMan  over a year ago

Stratford


"I bottle purely because I don't trust anyone except my closest friends to be able to help me"

I actually think this is my biggest issue. It’s hard to know who GENUINELY has your best interests at heart and it’s hard to leave yourself vulnerable whilst you try to figure it out

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By *rincess peachWoman  over a year ago

shits creek


"I bottle purely because I don't trust anyone except my closest friends to be able to help me

I actually think this is my biggest issue. It’s hard to know who GENUINELY has your best interests at heart and it’s hard to leave yourself vulnerable whilst you try to figure it out "

Sometimes those who have your best interests at heart are the ones who don't try to dazzle with words, but do some research and offer up places who are best suited to help.

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By *heGateKeeperMan  over a year ago

Stratford


"I bottle purely because I don't trust anyone except my closest friends to be able to help me

I actually think this is my biggest issue. It’s hard to know who GENUINELY has your best interests at heart and it’s hard to leave yourself vulnerable whilst you try to figure it out

Sometimes those who have your best interests at heart are the ones who don't try to dazzle with words, but do some research and offer up places who are best suited to help.

"

I know and that doesn’t ‘show’ or ‘present’ in the moment of need. It’s the ones with the words that make you expose yourself and then use it against you at a later date

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By *reya73Woman  over a year ago

Whitley Bay

I'm good at gaining perspective and owning my processes. I'm also very happy to talk about it..at appropriate times.

Sometimes I probably deal with stuff myself too much but I'm lucky to have close people who can spot this and if I've not realised I need support.. I get a nudge.

Asking clearly for what you need, be it privacy, nurturing, practical help, emotional support, soace etc etc etc is something we all benefit from.. The givers and the receivers both.

Culturally there is a real skewed attitude towards communication of needs. And a lack of perspective about what is a 'problem' and what it actually means to have challenging feelings arise. Expression of emotion and feeling is shamed. Judgement if you're too open and judgement if you're introvert and closed.

Often sharing our own experience is a gift to others. We are actually not a burdon and when the expression flows from truth, presence and comes straight from the heart without I really think we have all the answers within ourselves.

To listen from the heart without judgement and to share from the heart without shame brings great perspective and healing.

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By *reya73Woman  over a year ago

Whitley Bay

Cuppa and a conscious complain to willing ears can be the bizz!

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By *ea monkeyMan  over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)


"I'm good at gaining perspective and owning my processes. I'm also very happy to talk about it..at appropriate times.

Sometimes I probably deal with stuff myself too much but I'm lucky to have close people who can spot this and if I've not realised I need support.. I get a nudge.

Asking clearly for what you need, be it privacy, nurturing, practical help, emotional support, soace etc etc etc is something we all benefit from.. The givers and the receivers both.

Culturally there is a real skewed attitude towards communication of needs. And a lack of perspective about what is a 'problem' and what it actually means to have challenging feelings arise. Expression of emotion and feeling is shamed. Judgement if you're too open and judgement if you're introvert and closed.

Often sharing our own experience is a gift to others. We are actually not a burdon and when the expression flows from truth, presence and comes straight from the heart without I really think we have all the answers within ourselves.

To listen from the heart without judgement and to share from the heart without shame brings great perspective and healing.

"

I love seeing your responses on these topics. Always so full of wisdom and awareness

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


".

Those are some really fantastic ideas to facilitate the process of opening up. Thank you "

Battled mental health most of my life, but I like to think I've got it beaten, finally.

Always willing to talk openly about mental health, feel free to pm me if you ever need to talk.

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By *reya73Woman  over a year ago

Whitley Bay


"I'm good at gaining perspective and owning my processes. I'm also very happy to talk about it..at appropriate times.

Sometimes I probably deal with stuff myself too much but I'm lucky to have close people who can spot this and if I've not realised I need support.. I get a nudge.

Asking clearly for what you need, be it privacy, nurturing, practical help, emotional support, soace etc etc etc is something we all benefit from.. The givers and the receivers both.

Culturally there is a real skewed attitude towards communication of needs. And a lack of perspective about what is a 'problem' and what it actually means to have challenging feelings arise. Expression of emotion and feeling is shamed. Judgement if you're too open and judgement if you're introvert and closed.

Often sharing our own experience is a gift to others. We are actually not a burdon and when the expression flows from truth, presence and comes straight from the heart without I really think we have all the answers within ourselves.

To listen from the heart without judgement and to share from the heart without shame brings great perspective and healing.

I love seeing your responses on these topics. Always so full of wisdom and awareness"

Gee thanks wise monkey

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I never used to talk about my feelings and it was a railroad to self destruction in the worst way possible.

I now talk them through with people I trust the most and life has become a whole load easier.

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By *rHotNottsMan  over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

I’m lucky , between my ex , a mate and my current fwb I can talk about any problem. It always feels better when it’s out , srsly don’t bottle it up !

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By *amie HantsWoman  over a year ago

Atlantis

I’m pretty rubbish at it. I’ll usually hold it in so long that I’ll burst into tears on a stranger on a train once every 8-10 years

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By *reya73Woman  over a year ago

Whitley Bay


"I’m pretty rubbish at it. I’ll usually hold it in so long that I’ll burst into tears on a stranger on a train once every 8-10 years

"

Awwwww!!! I wish I was your train weeper tear mopper

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By *amie HantsWoman  over a year ago

Atlantis


"I’m pretty rubbish at it. I’ll usually hold it in so long that I’ll burst into tears on a stranger on a train once every 8-10 years

Awwwww!!! I wish I was your train weeper tear mopper "

Aww! Well if you ever see a woman sobbing her eyes out and breaking her heart on the train feel free to say hi

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Not open at all. Those who are close to me will realise something is off and I'll share with them if they're interested. Otherwise they're my problems for me to deal with on my own.

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By *rHotNottsMan  over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham


"I bottle purely because I don't trust anyone except my closest friends to be able to help me

I actually think this is my biggest issue. It’s hard to know who GENUINELY has your best interests at heart and it’s hard to leave yourself vulnerable whilst you try to figure it out "

Talking helps , it’s not about someone giving you answers. Guys can be bad at this, always solutionising, but sine women too ! Sometime I have to say stop, I know what I should do or need to I simply just want to talk ! So find someone who can listen

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I'm good at gaining perspective and owning my processes. I'm also very happy to talk about it..at appropriate times.

Sometimes I probably deal with stuff myself too much but I'm lucky to have close people who can spot this and if I've not realised I need support.. I get a nudge.

Asking clearly for what you need, be it privacy, nurturing, practical help, emotional support, soace etc etc etc is something we all benefit from.. The givers and the receivers both.

Culturally there is a real skewed attitude towards communication of needs. And a lack of perspective about what is a 'problem' and what it actually means to have challenging feelings arise. Expression of emotion and feeling is shamed. Judgement if you're too open and judgement if you're introvert and closed.

Often sharing our own experience is a gift to others. We are actually not a burdon and when the expression flows from truth, presence and comes straight from the heart without I really think we have all the answers within ourselves.

To listen from the heart without judgement and to share from the heart without shame brings great perspective and healing.

"

So well articulated. Excellent.

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By *innie The MinxWoman  over a year ago

Under the Duvet

Good with friends who I trust

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I do tend to hold things in but those closest to me know me better than I know myself Thank god for those special people who keep me grounded

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By *uriousscouserWoman  over a year ago

Wirral

I am very open in sharing situations I've been in and things I've been through.

I'm far more closed when it comes to how I feel. I bottle up my feelings because they are mine to process in due course.

When I had counselling I was very open and discussed feelings as well as situations, because that's someone who was qualified and paid to help me deal with my shit. I don't push that onto my loved ones.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

For me it depends what is going on.

Sometimes I find it very easy to share my feelings and express what I am going through and other times I just shut down completely.

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