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Ask me anything
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Hello mystic Jenny should I get a bum tattoo with a ( 4 letter word in it ) "
Yes, but put 2 letters on each cheek. Then when you bend over, you get a five letter word for free! Bargain |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Hello mystic Jenny should I get a bum tattoo with a ( 4 letter word in it )
Yes, but put 2 letters on each cheek. Then when you bend over, you get a five letter word for free! Bargain "
Ha ha lol there no O in the 4 letter word ha ha |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Hello mystic Jenny should I get a bum tattoo with a ( 4 letter word in it )
Yes, but put 2 letters on each cheek. Then when you bend over, you get a five letter word for free! Bargain
Ha ha lol there no O in the 4 letter word ha ha "
There is in the 5 though |
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"After an extended absence, Jennie the Omniscient has returned. Jennie knows all ... ask and ye shall be enlightened."
Oh wonderful, wonderous, wise and witchy one, when will I finally move house and do you know the address? (I want to make sure you can't stalk me  ) |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Welcome back Jennie 
Now….is it really harmful to eat some salmon that went out of date in 2007 or is it a myth? "
The eating is not harmful at all. The swallowing however .... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Hello mystic Jenny should I get a bum tattoo with a ( 4 letter word in it )
Yes, but put 2 letters on each cheek. Then when you bend over, you get a five letter word for free! Bargain
Ha ha lol there no O in the 4 letter word ha ha
There is in the 5 though"
Ha ha ok I get what one your talking about now you had me confused there for a second ha ha |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"After an extended absence, Jennie the Omniscient has returned. Jennie knows all ... ask and ye shall be enlightened.
Oh wonderful, wonderous, wise and witchy one, when will I finally move house and do you know the address? (I want to make sure you can't stalk me )"
The move will fall through when you are gazumped by Gerald and Margaret. In desperation you will move into my spare room, and spend your nights in panicked wakefulness with your behind pressed into the corner.
Lube up sweetie! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Oh wise and mysterious jennie, i pray to thee, will i finally meet my twin flame on fabswingers, or am i destined to be alone forever? "
Playing with fire is potentially dangerous.if you get desperate you can always drop Sophie a line. |
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"After an extended absence, Jennie the Omniscient has returned. Jennie knows all ... ask and ye shall be enlightened.
Oh wonderful, wonderous, wise and witchy one, when will I finally move house and do you know the address? (I want to make sure you can't stalk me )
The move will fall through when you are gazumped by Gerald and Margaret. In desperation you will move into my spare room, and spend your nights in panicked wakefulness with your behind pressed into the corner.
Lube up sweetie!"
Is a litre enough |
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"After an extended absence, Jennie the Omniscient has returned. Jennie knows all ... ask and ye shall be enlightened."
•
I would like to know if an oracle such as yourself can be omnipotent whilst as the same time be tentatively nonchalant? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Dear Aunty Jen
When are me you and Soph going out, and who would be the last bird standing ? "
The 'Thelma and Louise'esque Sophie/Jennie roadtrip will be hitting the North East in mid 2022. Sophie will be designated driver, cos she is a liability when she's on the booze |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"After an extended absence, Jennie the Omniscient has returned. Jennie knows all ... ask and ye shall be enlightened.
•
I would like to know if an oracle such as yourself can be omnipotent whilst as the same time be tentatively nonchalant?"
Such an all knowing all seeing being can be all things at all times |
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"Dear Aunty Jen
When are me you and Soph going out, and who would be the last bird standing ?
The 'Thelma and Louise'esque Sophie/Jennie roadtrip will be hitting the North East in mid 2022. Sophie will be designated driver, cos she is a liability when she's on the booze "
Get your arse in gear, I cant wait that long or myself and Bellaseas will party without you  |
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"Welcome back Jennie
Now….is it really harmful to eat some salmon that went out of date in 2007 or is it a myth?
The eating is not harmful at all. The swallowing however ...."
Thank you Auntie So, the ladies who have spat out my….errr….think I’m trying poison them?
  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Dear Aunty Jen
When are me you and Soph going out, and who would be the last bird standing ?
The 'Thelma and Louise'esque Sophie/Jennie roadtrip will be hitting the North East in mid 2022. Sophie will be designated driver, cos she is a liability when she's on the booze "
I'm not in the North East!  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Dear Aunty Jen
When are me you and Soph going out, and who would be the last bird standing ?
The 'Thelma and Louise'esque Sophie/Jennie roadtrip will be hitting the North East in mid 2022. Sophie will be designated driver, cos she is a liability when she's on the booze
Get your arse in gear, I cant wait that long or myself and Bellaseas will party without you "
Regardless, Bella will be last lass standing, given you and me are such Southern Pansies |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Dear Aunty Jen
When are me you and Soph going out, and who would be the last bird standing ?
The 'Thelma and Louise'esque Sophie/Jennie roadtrip will be hitting the North East in mid 2022. Sophie will be designated driver, cos she is a liability when she's on the booze
I'm not in the North East! "
North of Oxford, its all the same |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Oh wise and mysterious jennie, i pray to thee, will i finally meet my twin flame on fabswingers, or am i destined to be alone forever?
Playing with fire is potentially dangerous.if you get desperate you can always drop Sophie a line."
She scares me, im a masochist and all but she seems like the kind of woman who would eat me alive
Think id be safer playing with fire |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Welcome back Jennie
Now….is it really harmful to eat some salmon that went out of date in 2007 or is it a myth?
The eating is not harmful at all. The swallowing however ....
Thank you Auntie So, the ladies who have spat out my….errr….think I’m trying poison them?
"
Highly likely. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Oh wise and mysterious jennie, i pray to thee, will i finally meet my twin flame on fabswingers, or am i destined to be alone forever?
Playing with fire is potentially dangerous.if you get desperate you can always drop Sophie a line.
She scares me, im a masochist and all but she seems like the kind of woman who would eat me alive
Think id be safer playing with fire"
True.
You are very wise |
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"Dear Aunty Jen
When are me you and Soph going out, and who would be the last bird standing ?
The 'Thelma and Louise'esque Sophie/Jennie roadtrip will be hitting the North East in mid 2022. Sophie will be designated driver, cos she is a liability when she's on the booze
Get your arse in gear, I cant wait that long or myself and Bellaseas will party without you
Regardless, Bella will be last lass standing, given you and me are such Southern Pansies"
Speak for yourself, compared to you I'm a northerner as I'm North of the Watford Gap |
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"Oh wise and mysterious jennie, i pray to thee, will i finally meet my twin flame on fabswingers, or am i destined to be alone forever?
Playing with fire is potentially dangerous.if you get desperate you can always drop Sophie a line.
She scares me, im a masochist and all but she seems like the kind of woman who would eat me alive
Think id be safer playing with fire"
Fire, knives, whips and chains....it's all good hard fun |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Dear Aunty Jen
When are me you and Soph going out, and who would be the last bird standing ?
The 'Thelma and Louise'esque Sophie/Jennie roadtrip will be hitting the North East in mid 2022. Sophie will be designated driver, cos she is a liability when she's on the booze
Get your arse in gear, I cant wait that long or myself and Bellaseas will party without you
Regardless, Bella will be last lass standing, given you and me are such Southern Pansies
Speak for yourself, compared to you I'm a northerner as I'm North of the Watford Gap "
'Appen you are lass. BUT still a lot Souther than that Northern Lass. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Oh wise and mysterious jennie, i pray to thee, will i finally meet my twin flame on fabswingers, or am i destined to be alone forever?
Playing with fire is potentially dangerous.if you get desperate you can always drop Sophie a line.
She scares me, im a masochist and all but she seems like the kind of woman who would eat me alive
Think id be safer playing with fire
Fire, knives, whips and chains....it's all good hard fun "
Well now youre just threatening me with a good time  |
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"Oh wise and mysterious jennie, i pray to thee, will i finally meet my twin flame on fabswingers, or am i destined to be alone forever?
Playing with fire is potentially dangerous.if you get desperate you can always drop Sophie a line.
She scares me, im a masochist and all but she seems like the kind of woman who would eat me alive
Think id be safer playing with fire
Fire, knives, whips and chains....it's all good hard fun
Well now youre just threatening me with a good time "
I'm just telling you it's fun, it's not a threat of a good time if you're on the receiving end and have your mouth firmly gagged  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Oh wise and mysterious jennie, i pray to thee, will i finally meet my twin flame on fabswingers, or am i destined to be alone forever?
Playing with fire is potentially dangerous.if you get desperate you can always drop Sophie a line.
She scares me, im a masochist and all but she seems like the kind of woman who would eat me alive
Think id be safer playing with fire
Fire, knives, whips and chains....it's all good hard fun
Well now youre just threatening me with a good time
I'm just telling you it's fun, it's not a threat of a good time if you're on the receiving end and have your mouth firmly gagged "
Thats the kind of fun and games i like to be on the receiving end though |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Dearest Jennielonglegs
Will my vageeeeen ever long for a pork sword again or is it no more use than a smart price gazebo in a hurricane? "
Have you tried Vagitarianism? That way your vageeen need not fret. I am certain your lady garden is still fit for purpose whatever diet you choose.
Jennifer's vaginal surveying services are available at a very reasonable rate. |
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"Dearest Jennielonglegs
Will my vageeeeen ever long for a pork sword again or is it no more use than a smart price gazebo in a hurricane?
Have you tried Vagitarianism? That way your vageeen need not fret. I am certain your lady garden is still fit for purpose whatever diet you choose.
Jennifer's vaginal surveying services are available at a very reasonable rate."
I'll give it a whirl. Cheers mukka |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Dearest Jennielonglegs
Will my vageeeeen ever long for a pork sword again or is it no more use than a smart price gazebo in a hurricane?
Have you tried Vagitarianism? That way your vageeen need not fret. I am certain your lady garden is still fit for purpose whatever diet you choose.
Jennifer's vaginal surveying services are available at a very reasonable rate.
I'll give it a whirl. Cheers mukka "
Vagitarianism?
Or Jennies vageen surveying service? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"After an extended absence, Jennie the Omniscient has returned. Jennie knows all ... ask and ye shall be enlightened.
Do you like cheese"
Yes.
Except Goats cheese.
Obviously |
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"Dearest Jennielonglegs
Will my vageeeeen ever long for a pork sword again or is it no more use than a smart price gazebo in a hurricane?
Have you tried Vagitarianism? That way your vageeen need not fret. I am certain your lady garden is still fit for purpose whatever diet you choose.
Jennifer's vaginal surveying services are available at a very reasonable rate.
I'll give it a whirl. Cheers mukka
Vagitarianism?
Or Jennies vageen surveying service? "
Both innit! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Dearest Jennielonglegs
Will my vageeeeen ever long for a pork sword again or is it no more use than a smart price gazebo in a hurricane?
Have you tried Vagitarianism? That way your vageeen need not fret. I am certain your lady garden is still fit for purpose whatever diet you choose.
Jennifer's vaginal surveying services are available at a very reasonable rate.
I'll give it a whirl. Cheers mukka
Vagitarianism?
Or Jennies vageen surveying service?
Both innit!"
Waders and snorkel at the ready |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Is sciatica contagious (in which case it is her ladyship's fault in in pain) or has she been hurting me in my sleep (in which case it is still her ladyship's fault I'm in pain)?
Mr |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Is sciatica contagious (in which case it is her ladyship's fault in in pain) or has she been hurting me in my sleep (in which case it is still her ladyship's fault I'm in pain)?
Mr"
In and of itself, its not contagious. Most likely postural. Maybe she has been adjusting the saddle height on your bike to put just the right amount of stress to cause it? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"How do I get more people to block me?
I think you know that already
I don't want to send dock pics though "
Thats the quickest way to blocks. Maybe try some FAFs |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Is sciatica contagious (in which case it is her ladyship's fault in in pain) or has she been hurting me in my sleep (in which case it is still her ladyship's fault I'm in pain)?
Mr
In and of itself, its not contagious. Most likely postural. Maybe she has been adjusting the saddle height on your bike to put just the right amount of stress to cause it?"
Possible though I've not had a ride in ages 
Mr |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"How do I get more people to block me?
I think you know that already
I don't want to send dock pics though
Thats the quickest way to blocks. Maybe try some FAFs"
I refuse to faf |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Is sciatica contagious (in which case it is her ladyship's fault in in pain) or has she been hurting me in my sleep (in which case it is still her ladyship's fault I'm in pain)?
Mr
In and of itself, its not contagious. Most likely postural. Maybe she has been adjusting the saddle height on your bike to put just the right amount of stress to cause it?
Possible though I've not had a ride in ages
Mr"
Ah well, there's your problem. Detoned muscles |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Jennie the wise, what does my future hold? "
Many and varied wonders.
Oh such delights, the line of which you have never even dreamed.
Oh, and the dishwasher needs emptying |
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"Jennie the wise, what does my future hold?
Many and varied wonders.
Oh such delights, the line of which you have never even dreamed.
Oh, and the dishwasher needs emptying"
Thank you Jennie.
And I’ll empty it tomorrow |
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By *reya73Woman
over a year ago
Whitley Bay |
So glad you're back!
And
How can I settle my score with Christmas? I hate it. Never want to do it.. I'm dragged into it by the whiskers on my perimenopausal chin. But year after year it has to happen 'for the kids' and all that. How can I not die inside this year Jennie pleeaaase! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"So glad you're back!
And
How can I settle my score with Christmas? I hate it. Never want to do it.. I'm dragged into it by the whiskers on my perimenopausal chin. But year after year it has to happen 'for the kids' and all that. How can I not die inside this year Jennie pleeaaase! "
Alcohol.
And orange matchmakers |
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By *reya73Woman
over a year ago
Whitley Bay |
"So glad you're back!
And
How can I settle my score with Christmas? I hate it. Never want to do it.. I'm dragged into it by the whiskers on my perimenopausal chin. But year after year it has to happen 'for the kids' and all that. How can I not die inside this year Jennie pleeaaase!
Alcohol.
And orange matchmakers "
Tried this already.. Are you saying there's nothing I can do? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Following on from an in depth discussion with my far too cerebral 14 year old, know-it-all, what’s Jennie’s view on the distinction between right to assemble/protest and incitement to riot/disturbing the peace ? |
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"Following on from an in depth discussion with my far too cerebral 14 year old, know-it-all, what’s Jennie’s view on the distinction between right to assemble/protest and incitement to riot/disturbing the peace ? "
Is that not a very thin blue line? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"So glad you're back!
And
How can I settle my score with Christmas? I hate it. Never want to do it.. I'm dragged into it by the whiskers on my perimenopausal chin. But year after year it has to happen 'for the kids' and all that. How can I not die inside this year Jennie pleeaaase!
Alcohol.
And orange matchmakers
Tried this already.. Are you saying there's nothing I can do? "
Hmmmm.
Convert to Jedi-ism and tell all that celebrating Xmas is now against your faith.
And orange matchmakers |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Following on from an in depth discussion with my far too cerebral 14 year old, know-it-all, what’s Jennie’s view on the distinction between right to assemble/protest and incitement to riot/disturbing the peace ? "
OK. So.
There is no carte blanche right to assemble. The public order act places some restrictions and give police certain powers to control assemblies.
Riot is a specific legal term which requires 12 or more gathered with common purpose, to use violence or put others in fear of violence (only those who actually use the violence are guilty of riot). Incitement to commit an offence (ie, to cause, procure, conspire etc) is an offence in itself.
Breach of the peace is a common law "offence" where an individual puts or seeks to put another in fear of harm, or harm to their property.
In essence, the laws say, don't think that exercising your supposed right to assemble allows you to harm or frighten others. It ain't as free a country as most 14 year olds think it is. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Following on from an in depth discussion with my far too cerebral 14 year old, know-it-all, what’s Jennie’s view on the distinction between right to assemble/protest and incitement to riot/disturbing the peace ?
Sk thin its dotted
Is that not a very thin blue line?"
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Following on from an in depth discussion with my far too cerebral 14 year old, know-it-all, what’s Jennie’s view on the distinction between right to assemble/protest and incitement to riot/disturbing the peace ?
OK. So.
There is no carte blanche right to assemble. The public order act places some restrictions and give police certain powers to control assemblies.
Riot is a specific legal term which requires 12 or more gathered with common purpose, to use violence or put others in fear of violence (only those who actually use the violence are guilty of riot). Incitement to commit an offence (ie, to cause, procure, conspire etc) is an offence in itself.
Breach of the peace is a common law "offence" where an individual puts or seeks to put another in fear of harm, or harm to their property.
In essence, the laws say, don't think that exercising your supposed right to assemble allows you to harm or frighten others. It ain't as free a country as most 14 year olds think it is."
So he had it right ? Damn it lol |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Following on from an in depth discussion with my far too cerebral 14 year old, know-it-all, what’s Jennie’s view on the distinction between right to assemble/protest and incitement to riot/disturbing the peace ?
OK. So.
There is no carte blanche right to assemble. The public order act places some restrictions and give police certain powers to control assemblies.
Riot is a specific legal term which requires 12 or more gathered with common purpose, to use violence or put others in fear of violence (only those who actually use the violence are guilty of riot). Incitement to commit an offence (ie, to cause, procure, conspire etc) is an offence in itself.
Breach of the peace is a common law "offence" where an individual puts or seeks to put another in fear of harm, or harm to their property.
In essence, the laws say, don't think that exercising your supposed right to assemble allows you to harm or frighten others. It ain't as free a country as most 14 year olds think it is.
So he had it right ? Damn it lol "
Soz.
Got his brains from his mum |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"After an extended absence, Jennie the Omniscient has returned. Jennie knows all ... ask and ye shall be enlightened.
Who’s your celebrity crush "
I have a few.
Jessica Rabbit (obvs).
Ella Vaday from RuPauls Drag Race Uk.
Jasper Pääkkönen as Halfdan the Black in Vikings
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"After an extended absence, Jennie the Omniscient has returned. Jennie knows all ... ask and ye shall be enlightened."
Anything? What’s a great pairing (food wise) if I was drinking spiced rum? Asking for me. |
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By *rivateparts!Man
over a year ago
Walking down the only road I've ever known! |
"After an extended absence, Jennie the Omniscient has returned. Jennie knows all ... ask and ye shall be enlightened.
Anything? What’s a great pairing (food wise) if I was drinking spiced rum? Asking for me. "
Anything you'd be too shitfaced to remember anyway  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"After an extended absence, Jennie the Omniscient has returned. Jennie knows all ... ask and ye shall be enlightened.
Anything? What’s a great pairing (food wise) if I was drinking spiced rum? Asking for me. "
Jerk Chicken and Dirty Rice |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"After an extended absence, Jennie the Omniscient has returned. Jennie knows all ... ask and ye shall be enlightened.
Anything? What’s a great pairing (food wise) if I was drinking spiced rum? Asking for me.
Anything you'd be too shitfaced to remember anyway "
Depending on spice levels, there should be ample reminder in the morning |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Do You think my cock is pathetic?
Cock?
I thought it was a splinter little man"
Sorry, i keep making the mistake of calling it a cock even though i know it’s too small to be called that. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"How many times is it acceptable to rewind and watch in slow motion that bit in Who Framed Roger Rabbit to check if Jessica Rabbit is actually commando... erm asking for a friend obvs  "
There is no upper limit.
Your *ahem* friend can rest easy |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Your TV in the bedroom thread made me howl! You seem like an astute and witty person. However I’m afraid to say, I was one of the people who initially didn’t ‘get it’
So my question to you is, who is the most stupid person you have ever met? x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Your TV in the bedroom thread made me howl! You seem like an astute and witty person. However I’m afraid to say, I was one of the people who initially didn’t ‘get it’
So my question to you is, who is the most stupid person you have ever met? x"
Kevin who works down the garden centre. He's so stupid, when he saw a sign saying "wet paint" he thought it was an instruction. He got 100 hours community service for that. Silly Kevin. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Why is their a D in fridge but not refrigerator ?
Ah now, that would be an ecumenical matter"
Serious answer ... I believe it is because the G sound is harder at the end of fridge than in the middle of refrigerator. Also without the D, the vowel sound would be elongated and end up pronounced like fry with a j on the end. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"What's it all about Jennie?
Really?
We are all just complex chemical reactions. Life is merely electrical impulses.
That, my friend, is it.
Wow, how wise is that. So impressed"
Wise or cynical?
Or both.
Or neither.
Hmmmmmm |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Why is their a D in fridge but not refrigerator ?
Ah now, that would be an ecumenical matter
So you don’t know ? "
I refer my friend to the extended answer |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I have three items in my pocket. What are they?
If we accept the simultaneous existence of infinite universes, then anything.
And everything."
That's only two things you mentioned  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I have three items in my pocket. What are they?
If we accept the simultaneous existence of infinite universes, then anything.
And everything.
That's only two things you mentioned "
Hmmmm.
But was it though? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"After an extended absence, Jennie the Omniscient has returned. Jennie knows all ... ask and ye shall be enlightened."
My question is.
What am i doing wrong on here?.
Been on for about 4-5 months and not even close to getting a social.
I don't send dick pics and always clean chat and very respectful.
|
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"After an extended absence, Jennie the Omniscient has returned. Jennie knows all ... ask and ye shall be enlightened.
My question is.
What am i doing wrong on here?.
Been on for about 4-5 months and not even close to getting a social.
I don't send dick pics and always clean chat and very respectful.
"
Well, nothing wrong with your profile as far as I can see, that's usually the first thing to check.
It very much a numbers game on here. Single chaps outnumber everyone else by quite a ratio. As harsh as it sounds, its a supply vs demand issue and its a buyers market x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"What happens when you jengel your bell?? 
A fairy dies
Yeah I know.
Its a curse"
[Another fairy gone by poster jengling her belle at 18/11/21 20:41:36] |
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