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I would fuck you but...

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

Your back is too hairy!

Why wouldn't you fuck one of the posters on this thread?

Posters, you're willingly withdrawing from the right to getting butt

hurt if you don't like any of the replies

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I’d be worried I’d fall in love.

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By *asmeenTV/TS  over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

You stink

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

You got you’re socks on lol

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Bootylover - no reason apart from we're not looking for a guy. If we were you'd be in the top.... 10

Come on, I can take a good bashing guys

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Your back is too hairy!

Why wouldn't you fuck one of the posters on this thread?

Posters, you're willingly withdrawing from the right to getting butt

hurt if you don't like any of the replies "

I am still waiting for the rash to go down

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By *ad NannaWoman  over a year ago

East London

I am not a lesbian.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I’d be worried I’d fall in love. "

I'd never come out... ever... and I have a box set of M.A.S.H I wanna get round to.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I would everyone my knickers live at my ankles for all to have a ago

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I'd be worried you'd be rubbish in bed

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I would everyone my knickers live at my ankles for all to have a ago "

I would be worried i would fall in!

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By *asmeenTV/TS  over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

But I prefer doing voodoo

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By *lairekTV/TS  over a year ago

Manchester

Your pubic area looks like the lost member of the Jackson 5

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By *rincess peachWoman  over a year ago

shits creek

Your boobs make mine look like old man balls.

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By *asmeenTV/TS  over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT


"Your boobs make mine look like old man balls."

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By *asmeenTV/TS  over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT


"Your boobs make mine look like old man balls."

We love prunes

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I would everyone my knickers live at my ankles for all to have a ago

I would be worried i would fall in! "

It’s not that big Jenny but your more than willing to have a go lol

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Your boobs make mine look like old man balls."

The smell of piss is slightly off putting

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

Who are you all replying to, this is a free for all not poster above

Bloody forumites, always illiterate

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By *asmeenTV/TS  over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT


"Who are you all replying to, this is a free for all not poster above

Bloody forumites, always illiterate "

Then you should have said

Below

Above

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Bootylover - no reason apart from we're not looking for a guy. If we were you'd be in the top.... 10

Come on, I can take a good bashing guys "

Top 10! God damn I was hoping for at least top 5

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By *rincess peachWoman  over a year ago

shits creek


"Your boobs make mine look like old man balls.

The smell of piss is slightly off putting "

Sorry, forgot to change my week old dribble catcher

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"I am not a lesbian."

I hate feet, yucky!

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By *ormorantMan  over a year ago

Lincolnshire

I would fuck you but the prolapse and piles confused me somewhat..

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By *rincess peachWoman  over a year ago

shits creek


"Who are you all replying to, this is a free for all not poster above

Bloody forumites, always illiterate "

Anyone with nice boobs in my case

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Who are you all replying to, this is a free for all not poster above

Bloody forumites, always illiterate "

...your literacy intimidates me

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By *uxom redCouple  over a year ago

Shrewsbury

I don't have the energy

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By *asmeenTV/TS  over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT


"I don't have the energy "

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Your pubic area looks like the lost member of the Jackson 5"

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Your pubic area looks like the lost member of the Jackson 5 "
I think you’re cheeks are anything other than sweet !!

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By *ad NannaWoman  over a year ago

East London


"I am not a lesbian.

I hate feet, yucky!"

Your thighs would kick me off the bed.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I’d be worried I’d fall in love. "

I just have

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Your pubic area looks like the lost member of the Jackson 5 I think you’re cheeks are anything other than sweet !! "
i wouldn't because you live too near

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

You have a penis

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Your pubic area looks like the lost member of the Jackson 5 I think you’re cheeks are anything other than sweet !! i wouldn't because you live too near "
I wouldn’t because u always say the opposite of what you really mean !!!!

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By *lairekTV/TS  over a year ago

Manchester


"You have a penis "

What if they have both?

Always go for the transgender jelly babies, you get more candy....

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Your pubic area looks like the lost member of the Jackson 5 I think you’re cheeks are anything other than sweet !! i wouldn't because you live too near I wouldn’t because u always say the opposite of what you really mean !!!! "
lol I'm the most honest, bluntest person ever.. you literally are too near

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By *lairekTV/TS  over a year ago

Manchester


"Your pubic area looks like the lost member of the Jackson 5 I think you’re cheeks are anything other than sweet !! i wouldn't because you live too near I wouldn’t because u always say the opposite of what you really mean !!!! lol I'm the most honest, bluntest person ever.. you literally are too near "

Can you hear then typing a reply in the adjacent apartment?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Your pubic area looks like the lost member of the Jackson 5 I think you’re cheeks are anything other than sweet !! i wouldn't because you live too near I wouldn’t because u always say the opposite of what you really mean !!!! lol I'm the most honest, bluntest person ever.. you literally are too near

Can you hear then typing a reply in the adjacent apartment? "

almost

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By *rincess peachWoman  over a year ago

shits creek


"You have a penis "

The voices in your head told me not to

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

You like Coldplay

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By *ananas57Couple  over a year ago

lake ariel

Your too far away

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By *rincess peachWoman  over a year ago

shits creek


"You like Coldplay "

Your naked torso looks like Lord Voldemorts face

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Your pubic area looks like the lost member of the Jackson 5 I think you’re cheeks are anything other than sweet !! i wouldn't because you live too near I wouldn’t because u always say the opposite of what you really mean !!!! lol I'm the most honest, bluntest person ever.. you literally are too near "
really ? How near ?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I would fuck you, yes, you over there…..but you don’t want a willy in your bottom.

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By *lairekTV/TS  over a year ago

Manchester


"You stink "

I hear you..

If the arm pits reek, then the odds are not looking good when you take the expressway to MingeVille

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By *rHotNottsMan  over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

Bambi said I shouldn’t

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By *annaBeStrongMan  over a year ago

wokingham

She knows I want her so I don’t wanna give her the satisfaction of knowing I couldn’t resist

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I've healed up

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I just honestly can't be bothered

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I just honestly can't be bothered"

Because I know I'd get addicted.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

you don't want me to,

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Y'all covidy and shit.

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By *rincess peachWoman  over a year ago

shits creek


"Y'all covidy and shit. "

You got a yeast infection

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Y'all covidy and shit. "

True.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

because of your strange choice of boxers

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Y'all covidy and shit.

True. "

doggy is allowed tho according to government guidelines

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I've healed up "

I'd be too mesmerised by those tits

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Your pubic area looks like the lost member of the Jackson 5 I think you’re cheeks are anything other than sweet !! i wouldn't because you live too near I wouldn’t because u always say the opposite of what you really mean !!!! lol I'm the most honest, bluntest person ever.. you literally are too near really ? How near ? "
1/2 miles

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

But...

Well...

You know...

That. (Points)

Sorry.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Your pubic area looks like the lost member of the Jackson 5 I think you’re cheeks are anything other than sweet !! i wouldn't because you live too near I wouldn’t because u always say the opposite of what you really mean !!!! lol I'm the most honest, bluntest person ever.. you literally are too near really ? How near ? 1/2 miles "
surely that is a good thing lol . I’m from Dublin originally anyway so it balances out lol

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Y'all covidy and shit.

You got a yeast infection "

Y'all smell like me grannie's nappy

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"you don't want me to,"

Truth

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I would fuck you but ... I don’t want to give you my nits

True story, I’m sitting here with Hedrin smothered all over my nut. Should’ve listened when they said never work with kids

I’d put a paper bag over my head if you’d kindly oblige, but even then the oily mess of my hair would soak right through

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By *rincess peachWoman  over a year ago

shits creek


"Y'all covidy and shit.

You got a yeast infection

Y'all smell like me grannie's nappy "

I AM your grannies nappy

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By *ensuallover1000Man  over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…


"I would fuck you but ... I don’t want to give you my nits

True story, I’m sitting here with Hedrin smothered all over my nut. Should’ve listened when they said never work with kids

I’d put a paper bag over my head if you’d kindly oblige, but even then the oily mess of my hair would soak right through "

I would fuck you….but the taste of Hedrin is more than I can stand

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 18/11/21 19:13:05]

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I would fuck you but ... I don’t want to give you my nits

True story, I’m sitting here with Hedrin smothered all over my nut. Should’ve listened when they said never work with kids

I’d put a paper bag over my head if you’d kindly oblige, but even then the oily mess of my hair would soak right through

I would fuck you….but the taste of Hedrin is more than I can stand "

Darn it, those pesky kids!

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By *andicootboneMan  over a year ago

Stratford upon Avon


"I’d be worried I’d fall in love. "

Way outta my league. Id throw up all over you like Stan from south park

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I have the flu

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I’d be worried I’d fall in love.

Way outta my league. Id throw up all over you like Stan from south park "

Nice

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By *aughtyandhandsomeMan  over a year ago

button moon


"I’d be worried I’d fall in love.

Way outta my league. Id throw up all over you like Stan from south park

Nice "

But I don’t stand a chance

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By *asmeenTV/TS  over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT


"She knows I want her so I don’t wanna give her the satisfaction of knowing I couldn’t resist "

Tell me again x

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Y'all covidy and shit.

You got a yeast infection

Y'all smell like me grannie's nappy

I AM your grannies nappy "

You kiss like Stephen Hawking

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"She knows I want her so I don’t wanna give her the satisfaction of knowing I couldn’t resist "

This about me isn’t it

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By * Sophie xTV/TS  over a year ago

Derby

One if us is stupid and it ain't me

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By *uxom redCouple  over a year ago

Shrewsbury

There's no room your ego fills the room.

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"I've healed up "

But you're too young!

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"I’d be worried I’d fall in love. "

But you would fall in love with me and trap me in Wales, moving to Canada is way too important

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I have a migraine

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By *andicootboneMan  over a year ago

Stratford upon Avon


"I’d be worried I’d fall in love.

Way outta my league. Id throw up all over you like Stan from south park

Nice "

Just to be clear, I wouldnt stand a chance would i? Haha

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By *uietly_KinkyMan  over a year ago

High Wycombe

I'd disappoint you.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Your boobs make mine look like old man balls."

Lmfao

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I'm on my period.

*kills thread*

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I'm on my period.

*kills thread*"

I'm also on my period

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

... but i value you more as a friend without any intimacy

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By *ensuallover1000Man  over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…


"I'm on my period.

*kills thread*

I'm also on my period "

Me three

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I don't want any more stalkers

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By *leanor1717Woman  over a year ago

Gillingham


"I don't want any more stalkers "

You're too far away!

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By *orbidden eastMan  over a year ago

london dodging electric scooters

Because I am a niche and I’m way too far away for most. Honest

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By *ugehandsMan  over a year ago

Fife/ Newcastle

I'm Collins Dictionary straight not Fab straight

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

You've not been a good girl.

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By *eybert77Man  over a year ago

Ramsey


"I'm Collins Dictionary straight not Fab straight "

Same here lol

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I'm washing my hair

Mrs NF

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I'm washing my hair

Mrs NF"

I’ve a fear of rejection

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

My dog would hate you

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By *agneto.Man  over a year ago

Bham

They don't allow conjugal visits.

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By *amie HantsWoman  over a year ago

Atlantis

I’m just a bunch of squirrels in a long coat

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"My dog would hate you "

That's a lie! Dogs love me!

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By *affron40Woman  over a year ago

manchester

I’m older than your momma…

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I’m older than your momma… "

You have no manners and poor personal hygiene

Mr

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By *affron40Woman  over a year ago

manchester


"I’m older than your momma…

You have no manners and poor personal hygiene

Mr"

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"I’m older than your momma…

You have no manners and poor personal hygiene

Mr

"

I would fuck you but you can't read

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By *affron40Woman  over a year ago

manchester


"I’m older than your momma…

You have no manners and poor personal hygiene

Mr

I would fuck you but you can't read "

I just like being awkward petal

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By *ex HolesMan  over a year ago

Up North

I just don’t like you

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By *r SproutMan  over a year ago

the middle

You would just be disappointed

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

You think Labia is a small country

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By *parkle1974Woman  over a year ago

Leeds

None float my boat

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By *arker secrets 321Man  over a year ago

West Bromwich

U always say no x

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

It sounds like a lot of effort.

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By *parkle1974Woman  over a year ago

Leeds


"U always say no x "

Was always told not to speak with my mouth full x

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I would tbf regardless

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Go on then, il risk being offended

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By *umalotagainMan  over a year ago

a town called malice


"Go on then, il risk being offended "

I would fuck you but you’re a bloke

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Go on then, il risk being offended

I would fuck you but you’re a bloke "

I would fuck you but you’re too old.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 19/11/21 17:46:56]

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Who are you all replying to, this is a free for all not poster above

Bloody forumites, always illiterate

Anyone with nice boobs in my case "

I'd marry you princess but you're a celibate dry old hag with zero interest in meeting anyone for sex........and I want an old hag with a 17% interest in sex

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Go on then, il risk being offended

I would fuck you but you’re a bloke "

I would fuck you but you look like Barry the Baptist from Lock Stock..

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I believe in Adam and eve

Not Adam and Steve

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Who are you all replying to, this is a free for all not poster above

Bloody forumites, always illiterate

Anyone with nice boobs in my case

I'd marry you princess but you're a celibate dry old hag with zero interest in meeting anyone for sex........and I want an old hag with a 17% interest in sex "

Really have no idea why I thought this was about marrying not fucking!!! Also please read peaches profile before anyone thinks I just put a really nasty Message!

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By *umalotagainMan  over a year ago

a town called malice


"Go on then, il risk being offended

I would fuck you but you’re a bloke

I would fuck you but you’re too old. "

Ages is but a number,

my mind thinks my body is 25, my body thinks my mind is an asshole

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By *rincess peachWoman  over a year ago

shits creek


"Who are you all replying to, this is a free for all not poster above

Bloody forumites, always illiterate

Anyone with nice boobs in my case

I'd marry you princess but you're a celibate dry old hag with zero interest in meeting anyone for sex........and I want an old hag with a 17% interest in sex

Really have no idea why I thought this was about marrying not fucking!!! Also please read peaches profile before anyone thinks I just put a really nasty Message!"

don't lie, you knew all along it was about fucking but ya secretly love a bit of dry old hag

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Who are you all replying to, this is a free for all not poster above

Bloody forumites, always illiterate

Anyone with nice boobs in my case

I'd marry you princess but you're a celibate dry old hag with zero interest in meeting anyone for sex........and I want an old hag with a 17% interest in sex

Really have no idea why I thought this was about marrying not fucking!!! Also please read peaches profile before anyone thinks I just put a really nasty Message!

don't lie, you knew all along it was about fucking but ya secretly love a bit of dry old hag "

Not true...

If I'd known it was about fucking I couldn't have found a reason ..

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

But you have 2 different names so probably a cereal killer

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

My hip hurts and you smell a little bit..

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I'd fuck you but you're always in the damn bath like a prune.

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By *avie65Man  over a year ago

In the west.


"I'd fuck you but you're always in the damn bath like a prune. "

You need to try a shower.

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By *inky_couple2020Couple  over a year ago

North West


"But you have 2 different names so probably a cereal killer "

^^^He turns the milk really chocolatey

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

But it’s already half past 11 at night and it’d mean putting clothes on to go see you.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I'm hideous and you're way of my league

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

My little toe is sore

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"My hip hurts and you smell a little bit.. "

It's those jammies that are hurting your hips - revert to the fishnets and rope and normal service will resume

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

But you're miles away

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"But you're miles away "

I'd enjoy it too much

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By *aptain Caveman41Man  over a year ago

Home


"But you're miles away "
your on the wrong side of the Irish Sea

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Because I'm sleeping

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I already have a cactus up my arse

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Because you have a cactus up your arse

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"But you're miles away

I'd enjoy it too much "

because you're miles away

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By *aptain Caveman41Man  over a year ago

Home


"But you're miles away

I'd enjoy it too much because you're miles away "

im worn out

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"But you're miles away your on the wrong side of the Irish Sea "
You're miles away

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By *ewey613Man  over a year ago

ottawa


"But you're miles away your on the wrong side of the Irish Sea You're miles away "

Im not finished using my mouth

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

You're pubes are stuck in my teeth

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By *aptain Caveman41Man  over a year ago

Home


"You're pubes are stuck in my teeth "
your a silhouette

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I'm vagitarian

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By *izzy.miss.lizzyCouple  over a year ago

Pembrokeshire

I haven't changed the bedsheets since last time yet?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

But you've got some washing to do

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By *ocky82Man  over a year ago

Watford

I’m in and ready lol

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By *urls and DressesWoman  over a year ago

Somewhere near here


"I’m in and ready lol"

You’d probably stick my head under the duvet when you fart

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By *etMeBeYourFantasyyMan  over a year ago

bournemouth

The pingers aint worn off yet

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"The pingers aint worn off yet"

I'm probably not your type

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I’d probably not be your type

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I don't want to break your penises when I ride you until they chafe.

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By *ocky82Man  over a year ago

Watford


"I’m in and ready lol

You’d probably stick my head under the duvet when you fart"

Hilarious x

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By *ewey613Man  over a year ago

ottawa


"I don't want to break your penises when I ride you until they chafe."

Oh, that’s very kind of you, but please don’t worry about me

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By *ocky82Man  over a year ago

Watford


"I don't want to break your penises when I ride you until they chafe."

I definitely would but you probably hate tattoos x

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By *herry OnatopWoman  over a year ago

Just over there


"I don't want to break your penises when I ride you until they chafe.

I definitely would but you probably hate tattoos x"

I'd fuck you but I had a bad experience with another emoji and its taken sometime to get over it.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I don't want to break your penises when I ride you until they chafe."

Oh I wouldn’t complain too much

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"The pingers aint worn off yet

I'm probably not your type "

I’m probably not your type

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By *avie65Man  over a year ago

In the west.

You have a sticky carpet.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"The pingers aint worn off yet

I'm probably not your type

I’m probably not your type "

You probably aren’t, sorry

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"The pingers aint worn off yet

I'm probably not your type

I’m probably not your type

You probably aren’t, sorry "

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I'd break you by fucking you senseless

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I'd break you by fucking you senseless "

Is that a promise

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I would fuck you but your sister is hotter

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I would fuck you but your sister is hotter "

Your sister probably is hotter

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I'd break you by fucking you senseless "

I'd probably not make it through the door before iv finished up you are that hot ??

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By *otSoPoshWoman  over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon


"I'd break you by fucking you senseless

I'd probably not make it through the door before iv finished up you are that hot ??"

I'm just too tired

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I think I left the oven on.

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By *ewey613Man  over a year ago

ottawa

I would fuck you, but you’re so much prettier than the other girls I know I was hoping you’d settle for a few hours of oral.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I'd break you by fucking you senseless

I'd probably not make it through the door before iv finished up you are that hot ??

I'm just too tired"

Awwww I’m sure I could wake you nicely

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By *etMeBeYourFantasyyMan  over a year ago

bournemouth

Corries about to start

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I would fuck you but ... I don’t want to give you my nits

True story, I’m sitting here with Hedrin smothered all over my nut. Should’ve listened when they said never work with kids

I’d put a paper bag over my head if you’d kindly oblige, but even then the oily mess of my hair would soak right through "

I'd fuck you but your Username is "God" and I don't want to blaspheme

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I would fuck you but your sister is hotter

Your sister probably is hotter "

I don't have a sister

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I'm watching antiques road show

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

The thread is full

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