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Scrotal and bagel grooming: A beginners guide to lifelong happiness.
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This is the place to share all your tips and tricks good folks 
Where do you do it? (The bath? The shower? The frozen section in Tesco’s?)
Standing up/sitting down/bending over?
Shaving foam? Shower gel? …Raw(?!)
What type of razor do you use?
Any special knacks to not nicking your knackers and balloon knot?
All testicular tonsuring and anal exfoliation input welcome in fact; let’s all bask in the wondrous glow of a gloriously smooth arsehole and balls |
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"I'm so sad at the lack of response on this clearly glistening opportunity to gleam brightly and scar free
Have a quick boost on me  "
 Thank you
A smooth bum hole and balls is a most joyous thing; In fact, I feel it my mission in life to sing as such from the rooftops.
….unfortunately the local police took a rather dim view on my enthusiasm however…. |
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"Balls so sparkling they could go pride of place on the Xmas tree"
I’m offering my iridescent man orbs for exclusive adornment purposes this year.
Just imagine the wonderful conversational piece I’ll make as you look up from your Christmas dinner and behold my glowing bollocks atop your tree |
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"I'm so sad at the lack of response on this clearly glistening opportunity to gleam brightly and scar free
Have a quick boost on me
Thank you
A smooth bum hole and balls is a most joyous thing; In fact, I feel it my mission in life to sing as such from the rooftops.
….unfortunately the local police took a rather dim view on my enthusiasm however…."
All I know, is smooth bum holes get licked... a worthy incentive for all surely  |
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"I'm so sad at the lack of response on this clearly glistening opportunity to gleam brightly and scar free
Have a quick boost on me
Thank you
A smooth bum hole and balls is a most joyous thing; In fact, I feel it my mission in life to sing as such from the rooftops.
….unfortunately the local police took a rather dim view on my enthusiasm however….
All I know, is smooth bum holes get licked... a worthy incentive for all surely "
 And they are less likely to snag ‘passing matter’.
Um….I’ve just really lowered the tone again haven’t I?  |
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By *avhonaWoman
over a year ago
Away with the faeries |
I, for one, prefer an evenly sliced bagel, toasted moderately and slathered in either cream cheese or butter and marmite.
Failing access to that.. I'd happily reach for soft, smooth manbits.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Hair removal cream does the trick for me and removes practically all the hair. Leave it on for 7 minutes, use the scraper thing to get most of the cream off and then hop in the shower to was the rest off.
Only issue is having to stand with my legs apart for those 7 minutes so my cream covered balls don't touch the insides of my thighs |
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"This is the place to share all your tips and tricks good folks
Where do you do it? (The bath? The shower? The frozen section in Tesco’s?)
Standing up/sitting down/bending over?
Shaving foam? Shower gel? …Raw(?!)
What type of razor do you use?
Any special knacks to not nicking your knackers and balloon knot?
All testicular tonsuring and anal exfoliation input welcome in fact; let’s all bask in the wondrous glow of a gloriously smooth arsehole and balls "
*The Shower
*Standing up and Squatting
*Shaving Foam
*Gillette Fusion 5 Razor
*Just do it slowly and surely 
I prefer to use a tweezer on my balls. Just clear it once a week and I'm sorted. (But then I'm not naturally hairy there, so ) |
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I always make sure I use a clean razor down there (a cheap woman’s Venus works well for me) and always do it in the shower. I have tried lots of different approaches but find a rich lather with Dove body wash and then gentle razor strokes with the grain of the follicles works well. If you constantly keep lathering you can get nice and close without getting a rash/bumps.
I like to run a landing strip and find keeping it shaven every couple of days works well.
Also use E45 body lotion to keep the smooth skin soft and get rid of heat rash.
 |
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"I, for one, prefer an evenly sliced bagel, toasted moderately and slathered in either cream cheese or butter and marmite.
Failing access to that.. I'd happily reach for soft, smooth manbits. "
How about an ingenious fusion of the two; if I smear marmite on my balls…..*nudge* *wink* …. |
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"Hair removal cream does the trick for me and removes practically all the hair. Leave it on for 7 minutes, use the scraper thing to get most of the cream off and then hop in the shower to was the rest off.
Only issue is having to stand with my legs apart for those 7 minutes so my cream covered balls don't touch the insides of my thighs "
A horse riding stance for seven minutes? - it also serves as a great thigh exercise - bonus and win-win! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I, for one, prefer an evenly sliced bagel, toasted moderately and slathered in either cream cheese or butter and marmite.
Failing access to that.. I'd happily reach for soft, smooth manbits.
How about an ingenious fusion of the two; if I smear marmite on my balls…..*nudge* *wink* …. "
How do you think they get the holes in the bagels? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Hair removal cream does the trick for me and removes practically all the hair. Leave it on for 7 minutes, use the scraper thing to get most of the cream off and then hop in the shower to was the rest off.
Only issue is having to stand with my legs apart for those 7 minutes so my cream covered balls don't touch the insides of my thighs
A horse riding stance for seven minutes? - it also serves as a great thigh exercise - bonus and win-win! "
Absolutely, get a good burn in. Or is that a chemical burn?   |
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"This is the place to share all your tips and tricks good folks
Where do you do it? (The bath? The shower? The frozen section in Tesco’s?)
Standing up/sitting down/bending over?
Shaving foam? Shower gel? …Raw(?!)
What type of razor do you use?
Any special knacks to not nicking your knackers and balloon knot?
All testicular tonsuring and anal exfoliation input welcome in fact; let’s all bask in the wondrous glow of a gloriously smooth arsehole and balls
*The Shower
*Standing up and Squatting
*Shaving Foam
*Gillette Fusion 5 Razor
*Just do it slowly and surely
I prefer to use a tweezer on my balls. Just clear it once a week and I'm sorted. (But then I'm not naturally hairy there, so )"
A highly measured and thoughtful approach
If I were to utilise tweezers for the purpose on my scrotum though….well, I might finish the job in hand as early as 2024…. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Don’t start down this journey, once you begin you’ve got to do everywhere if you’re hairy. You can’t have a smooth cock and balls if your legs look like they’ve got 2 bath mats stuck on them. |
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"I always make sure I use a clean razor down there (a cheap woman’s Venus works well for me) and always do it in the shower. I have tried lots of different approaches but find a rich lather with Dove body wash and then gentle razor strokes with the grain of the follicles works well. If you constantly keep lathering you can get nice and close without getting a rash/bumps.
I like to run a landing strip and find keeping it shaven every couple of days works well.
Also use E45 body lotion to keep the smooth skin soft and get rid of heat rash.
"
That’s a very thorough and well thought out technique I must confess that I’ve never applied any after-cream (it’s a great idea) so invariably walk around with what looks like two Rudolph noses between my thighs for a day or so… |
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"Hair removal cream does the trick for me and removes practically all the hair. Leave it on for 7 minutes, use the scraper thing to get most of the cream off and then hop in the shower to was the rest off.
Only issue is having to stand with my legs apart for those 7 minutes so my cream covered balls don't touch the insides of my thighs
A horse riding stance for seven minutes? - it also serves as a great thigh exercise - bonus and win-win!
Absolutely, get a good burn in. Or is that a chemical burn? "
|
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"Don’t start down this journey, once you begin you’ve got to do everywhere if you’re hairy. You can’t have a smooth cock and balls if your legs look like they’ve got 2 bath mats stuck on them. "
Sadly, if I don’t shave, I am hirsute enough to make any random passing Yak’s blush with envy 
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Never really got why this is made into such a big deal (other than, you know, men liking to make anything sound more dangerous/daring/difficult and so on) - maybe I just have a leather ball bag?
Get in the bath, warm water, a used razor, and 5 minutes. The only thing that's remotely worth remembering is to fully rinse the blade after each stroke so trapped hairs don't make it snag.
|
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"I go with the no fear approach, pull that bag tight and just use water and a bic "
same here, just got to make sure the old Peter etc, is all lathered up and use a sharp razor, I've never given myself more than a very slight cut. Jk |
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"I go with the no fear approach, pull that bag tight and just use water and a bic same here, just got to make sure the old Peter etc, is all lathered up and use a sharp razor, I've never given myself more than a very slight cut. Jk"
Even the slightest of nicks bleeds profusely from there |
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"I always make sure I use a clean razor down there (a cheap woman’s Venus works well for me) and always do it in the shower. I have tried lots of different approaches but find a rich lather with Dove body wash and then gentle razor strokes with the grain of the follicles works well. If you constantly keep lathering you can get nice and close without getting a rash/bumps.
I like to run a landing strip and find keeping it shaven every couple of days works well.
Also use E45 body lotion to keep the smooth skin soft and get rid of heat rash.
That’s a very thorough and well thought out technique I must confess that I’ve never applied any after-cream (it’s a great idea) so invariably walk around with what looks like two Rudolph noses between my thighs for a day or so… "
It has taken me a lot of time to work out how to not get the rash/burn. Often, gentle and aftercare is the basically the secret. NEVER shave against the grain of the hair! |
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"Never really got why this is made into such a big deal (other than, you know, men liking to make anything sound more dangerous/daring/difficult and so on) - maybe I just have a leather ball bag?
Get in the bath, warm water, a used razor, and 5 minutes. The only thing that's remotely worth remembering is to fully rinse the blade after each stroke so trapped hairs don't make it snag.
"
I’d say the bum hole is ultimately more difficult in that unless one is a contortionist of some distinguished world note, one is effectively shaving blind. Also there is the added burden of having to manually part ones arse…. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Never really got why this is made into such a big deal (other than, you know, men liking to make anything sound more dangerous/daring/difficult and so on) - maybe I just have a leather ball bag?
Get in the bath, warm water, a used razor, and 5 minutes. The only thing that's remotely worth remembering is to fully rinse the blade after each stroke so trapped hairs don't make it snag.
I’d say the bum hole is ultimately more difficult in that unless one is a contortionist of some distinguished world note, one is effectively shaving blind. Also there is the added burden of having to manually part ones arse…. "
God haven’t even gone there surely life’s to short! |
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Waxing is the best thing but if you’re set on shaving try to exfoliate thoroughly a couple of days before and about three days afterwards. Don’t use the stuff you use on your face though, invest in some Dead Sea salt & use that. It will help prevent ingrowing hairs which are unsightly & can be painful. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
This is a tough one cos ive become a pro at grooming the underwear department, my ex was terrified by how quick and efficiently i was able to shave myself, but i honestly cant explain how i manage to do it, it just a knack ive picked up and muscle memory over the years
Its easiest to do standing up, always use shower gel cos its just more cost effective and still does the job. In terms of technique, to best explain it, i pull the skin so its nice and tight to keep it from snagging and to pull the hairs up, and i use quick, light but firm strokes, then i use slower strokes to get the stubborn bits of stubble and make sure i havent missed any places |
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For anyone interested (where has everyone gone?) here is my patented arse shaving technique;
Standing in a bath, place one foot up on the side (for gawd’s sake - don’t slip during this procedure folks!)
Say you’ve commenced with your left foot aloft, take your left hand and pull your left glute outwards to the left. That’s it - really heave that bastard out there (incidentally, holding it out will doubly serve as a nice isometric exercise for your biceps and delts…but I digress…)
Now, take the razor in your right hand and VERY CAREFULLY shave your intimate region (your arsehole). Witness with joy how much easier this elevated, arse hoicking technique serves to facilitate your endeavours?
Repeat the same technique on your right side by placing your right foot on the side of the bath (having replaced your left foot down firstly….unless you possess the esoteric gift of levitation) and you’re good to go; as smooth as silk |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"This is a tough one cos ive become a pro at grooming the underwear department, my ex was terrified by how quick and efficiently i was able to shave myself, but i honestly cant explain how i manage to do it, it just a knack ive picked up and muscle memory over the years
Its easiest to do standing up, always use shower gel cos its just more cost effective and still does the job. In terms of technique, to best explain it, i pull the skin so its nice and tight to keep it from snagging and to pull the hairs up, and i use quick, light but firm strokes, then i use slower strokes to get the stubborn bits of stubble and make sure i havent missed any places "
Ta will be on that later |
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"This is a tough one cos ive become a pro at grooming the underwear department, my ex was terrified by how quick and efficiently i was able to shave myself, but i honestly cant explain how i manage to do it, it just a knack ive picked up and muscle memory over the years
Its easiest to do standing up, always use shower gel cos its just more cost effective and still does the job. In terms of technique, to best explain it, i pull the skin so its nice and tight to keep it from snagging and to pull the hairs up, and i use quick, light but firm strokes, then i use slower strokes to get the stubborn bits of stubble and make sure i havent missed any places "
I used to have an ex who’s leg shaving technique actually scarred me(!) She used to shave like a butcher I swear - fast and hard! I really had to look away for the very real fear that at any second she was about to slice herself open  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" I used to have an ex who’s leg shaving technique actually scarred me(!) She used to shave like a butcher I swear - fast and hard! I really had to look away for the very real fear that at any second she was about to slice herself open "
Thats exactly how my ex felt lol she honestly thought i was gonna slice my sack open, i shaved her once before as well as she was scared i was gonna cut her but i managed it without nipping her once and got a smooth finish on it too |
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By *avhonaWoman
over a year ago
Away with the faeries |
"I, for one, prefer an evenly sliced bagel, toasted moderately and slathered in either cream cheese or butter and marmite.
Failing access to that.. I'd happily reach for soft, smooth manbits.
How about an ingenious fusion of the two; if I smear marmite on my balls…..*nudge* *wink* ….
How do you think they get the holes in the bagels? "
A wing and a prayer?
Magic? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I, for one, prefer an evenly sliced bagel, toasted moderately and slathered in either cream cheese or butter and marmite.
Failing access to that.. I'd happily reach for soft, smooth manbits.
How about an ingenious fusion of the two; if I smear marmite on my balls…..*nudge* *wink* ….
How do you think they get the holes in the bagels?
A wing and a prayer?
Magic? "
Yes, magic. The magic of a penis |
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By *avhonaWoman
over a year ago
Away with the faeries |
"I, for one, prefer an evenly sliced bagel, toasted moderately and slathered in either cream cheese or butter and marmite.
Failing access to that.. I'd happily reach for soft, smooth manbits.
How about an ingenious fusion of the two; if I smear marmite on my balls…..*nudge* *wink* …. "
You may be onto something.. but I may need a fried egg on top? |
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"I, for one, prefer an evenly sliced bagel, toasted moderately and slathered in either cream cheese or butter and marmite.
Failing access to that.. I'd happily reach for soft, smooth manbits.
How about an ingenious fusion of the two; if I smear marmite on my balls…..*nudge* *wink* ….
You may be onto something.. but I may need a fried egg on top? "
Sunny side up on my sack |
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