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Ruin a first date in 5 words or less...

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By *drian Hardthrob OP Man over a year ago

Worcester

Does this boil look infected?

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By *affron40Woman over a year ago

manchester

I brought your dad here…

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

My biological clock is ticking

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Hello. I shagged your mum

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By *nabelle21Woman over a year ago

B38

I cant wait to marry.

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By *drian Hardthrob OP Man over a year ago

Worcester

I've brought my therapist.

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By *elle xWoman over a year ago

Doire Theas

I think I love you

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By *parkle1974Woman over a year ago

Leeds

Please don't mind the axe

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I've always wanted 10 kids!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Been for a shit?

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By *nfin8yWoman over a year ago

Newcastle-under-Lyme

Don’t cry. It won’t hurt.

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By *yronMan over a year ago

grangemouth

I can fart the alphabet.

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By *drian Hardthrob OP Man over a year ago

Worcester

Technically it was "manslaughter"

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I brought your dad here…"

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By *ougie321Man over a year ago

Milford Haven

What time are you going

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By * and M lookingCouple over a year ago

Worcester

Wer'nt you at that clinic.

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By *asterR and slut mayaMan over a year ago

Bradford

Let's fuck first talk later

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By *nabelle21Woman over a year ago

B38

On arrival of the bill, saying - let's do a runnner, ready!

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By *yronMan over a year ago

grangemouth

Actually, it's my friend's picture.

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By *razytimesinloveCouple over a year ago

SW Scotland

Shall we go halfers?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'll pop my teeth in

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Ive already ordered for you.

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By *asterR and slut mayaMan over a year ago

Bradford

Do you want to fuck ornot

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By *drian Hardthrob OP Man over a year ago

Worcester

Shall we open our bibles?

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By * and M lookingCouple over a year ago

Worcester

Shall we split the bill ?

When we have just sat down.

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By *asterR and slut mayaMan over a year ago

Bradford

I've another date in ten mins

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By *rMojoRisinMan over a year ago

Sheffield

Chop chop, I’m in a rush!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

The weather is awful

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Need to call my wife

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By *orny PTMan over a year ago

Peterborough

I am a Nigerian Prince.

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By *affron40Woman over a year ago

manchester

You look better in photos

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I liked Trump

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By *drian Hardthrob OP Man over a year ago

Worcester

Oh, that's dried period blood.

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By *iaisonseekerMan over a year ago

Liverpool

My rectal prolapse needs repacking

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By *ed VoluptaWoman over a year ago

Wirral.

I've got the shits bad

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I enjoy watching you sleep!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'd rather have a wank

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By *rMojoRisinMan over a year ago

Sheffield

I brought some friends along…

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By *ed VoluptaWoman over a year ago

Wirral.

Your dad is better looking

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By *appyharryhMan over a year ago

Burntwood

You look like my daughter

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By * and M lookingCouple over a year ago

Worcester

So what you looking for????

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By *otPrinceHarryMan over a year ago

Glasgow

My secretary will take notes.

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By *acktar74Man over a year ago

leeds

Is the baby due soon

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I brought some friends along…"

That could be a result depending on the type of date

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By *drian Hardthrob OP Man over a year ago

Worcester

Check out my samurai sword.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Yummy. Fava beans and chianti

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By *oodmessMan over a year ago

yumsville

How much do you cost.

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By *aneyjane888Woman over a year ago

Leeds

Do you like cheesy cock?

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By *ex HolesMan over a year ago

Up North

Mummy said don’t be late

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By *rMojoRisinMan over a year ago

Sheffield

You brought condom’s right?

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By *ed VoluptaWoman over a year ago

Wirral.

"How much do you cost."

Ouch!

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By *affron40Woman over a year ago

manchester

Are you in fancy dress?

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By *rMojoRisinMan over a year ago

Sheffield

So, I have this condition…

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By *nabelle21Woman over a year ago

B38

Just maybe have a salad

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By *ed VoluptaWoman over a year ago

Wirral.

"Are you in fancy dress?"

Howling!

I actually met a guy for a social a couple of years ago and thought this

Needless to say, it was a brief social x

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By *rMojoRisinMan over a year ago

Sheffield

Messy anal is such fun!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'm not double jabbed. Soz.

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By *outhguyMan over a year ago

London

Think I dated your sister...?

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By *urulovesnylonMan over a year ago

Harrow

Run out of razor blades??

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By * and M lookingCouple over a year ago

Worcester

Oh crap I've cum already.

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By *ex HolesMan over a year ago

Up North

Just pick the scab off

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By *rMojoRisinMan over a year ago

Sheffield

Have you got a sister?

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By *affron40Woman over a year ago

manchester

"Are you in fancy dress?

Howling!

I actually met a guy for a social a couple of years ago and thought this

Needless to say, it was a brief social x"

Have we met the same people?!?

I do love a good weird one…

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

can i shag ya mum

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By *affron40Woman over a year ago

manchester

That’s just my ankle tag.

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By *iaisonseekerMan over a year ago

Liverpool

The leakage is perfectly normal

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By *drian Hardthrob OP Man over a year ago

Worcester

I wanna wear your skin.

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By *ex HolesMan over a year ago

Up North

Don’t look in the bag

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I'm not double jabbed. Soz."

Or ‘I am double jabbed. Soz’

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"That’s just my ankle tag."
meet my other girlfriend saff

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

That dress looks really shit.

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By *elshsunsWoman over a year ago

Flintshire

Your good husband material

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I'm not double jabbed. Soz.

Or ‘I am double jabbed. Soz’

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Fuck im itching down below

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By *ed VoluptaWoman over a year ago

Wirral.

"Are you in fancy dress?

Howling!

I actually met a guy for a social a couple of years ago and thought this

Needless to say, it was a brief social x

Have we met the same people?!?

I do love a good weird one… "
xx

Funny cute weird = good.

Just plain weird = bad.

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By *drian Hardthrob OP Man over a year ago

Worcester

I've forgot my wallet

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By *yronMan over a year ago

grangemouth

....and it's no longer green

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

So how's your mother doing

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By *ed VoluptaWoman over a year ago

Wirral.

How much do you earn?

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By *iaisonseekerMan over a year ago

Liverpool

The meat hooks are decorative

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By *affron40Woman over a year ago

manchester

"Are you in fancy dress?

Howling!

I actually met a guy for a social a couple of years ago and thought this

Needless to say, it was a brief social x

Have we met the same people?!?

I do love a good weird one… xx

Funny cute weird = good.

Just plain weird = bad."

So this is where I’m going wrong….

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By *yronMan over a year ago

grangemouth

I was on Crimewatch

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By *ex HolesMan over a year ago

Up North

She puts the lotion on

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By *alty surpriseMan over a year ago

Uttoxeter

Can I change my pants

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By *yronMan over a year ago

grangemouth

Let's talk about lampposts!

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By *yronMan over a year ago

grangemouth

"She puts the lotion on

Or doesn't get fed.

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By *ed VoluptaWoman over a year ago

Wirral.

Only got an hour - shoot!

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By *naswingdressWoman over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

PC's gone mad, hasn't it?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

My cock needs sucking tonight

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

My arse needs a cock

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By *ed VoluptaWoman over a year ago

Wirral.

Should it smell like that?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 07/08/21 12:42:06]

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By *ormorantMan over a year ago

Lincolnshire

The wife is at work/unwell

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

My balls are itching !

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By *aughtycouple1008Couple over a year ago

west london

[Removed by poster at 07/08/21 12:37:07]

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By *aughtycouple1008Couple over a year ago

west london

Dam I forgot my wallet

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By *OCONO5Couple over a year ago

Sensual Center

you sister looks better

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By *4Fun11Woman over a year ago

Glasgow

You mighta made an effort

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I brought your dad here…"

I brought my dad too

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By *yronMan over a year ago

grangemouth

Can you apply the cream?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Am going to ruin you

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By *ex HolesMan over a year ago

Up North

Your prettier in your photos

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By *ed VoluptaWoman over a year ago

Wirral.

"Your prettier in your photos

No you can't bum me!

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By *etcplCouple over a year ago

Gapping Fanny

Don’t mind the plastic sheets

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

My name is Boris Johnson

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By *affron40Woman over a year ago

manchester

I thought you were bigger.

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By *yronMan over a year ago

grangemouth

The itching has stopped.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

You look like my mum

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Have my best lingerie on

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By *rMojoRisinMan over a year ago

Sheffield

I brought my parents along!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

You like tasting helmet cheese?

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By *nabelle21Woman over a year ago

B38

I wanna fuck the waiter

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By *yronMan over a year ago

grangemouth

Please just sniff it?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I’ve slept with that waitress

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By *nabelle21Woman over a year ago

B38

I've 'done' him, her and......

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Your dad is a snack!

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By *hocCock1Man over a year ago

Southampton

Let's talk about God

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Let's talk about God

Yeah that’s me gone lol

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By *hocCock1Man over a year ago

Southampton

I've brought a gerbil along

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By *yronMan over a year ago

grangemouth

I've had your sister.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

1. Do you have any STDs? You do now!

2. Pull my finger (and shart).

I know I didn't stick to the 5 word rule for number 1. Sorry!..... M

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By *yronMan over a year ago

grangemouth

Do you like Dubstep?

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By *nabelle21Woman over a year ago

B38

Where's the exit..again?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

My Mum will adore you

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By *yronMan over a year ago

grangemouth

Let's have a singalong!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

You're paying the bill right?

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By *egvisir71Man over a year ago

Derbyshire

Oops!!! That wasn’t a fart

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By *ltrMan over a year ago

sheffield

My husband / wife is in prison for murder

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By *ltrMan over a year ago

sheffield

My husband / wife is in prison for murder

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By *yronMan over a year ago

grangemouth

Let's compare skidmarks!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Do you collect stamps too?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

You look like my wife

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

My curfew is at nine.

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By * and M lookingCouple over a year ago

Worcester

Do farts come in lumps?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Oh! Your name is stevie

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

This time at band camp

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

You looked better on Crimewatch.

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By *asmeenTV/TS over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Your smelly feet stink stinky

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Going to STD clinic tomorrow

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I am on day release.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Excuse sticky hand, just wanked.

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By *asmeenTV/TS over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

"Excuse sticky hand, just wanked."

Mmm

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By *nabelle21Woman over a year ago

B38

5 mins...in the toilets!

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By *rMojoRisinMan over a year ago

Sheffield

Can’t you hear the voices…

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By * and M lookingCouple over a year ago

Worcester

Crap, messaged the wrong person.

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By *nabelle21Woman over a year ago

B38

Get under the table now!

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By *asmeenTV/TS over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Eat so I can have your skin

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By *nabelle21Woman over a year ago

B38

Theere will be no desert

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By * and M lookingCouple over a year ago

Worcester

My moms sat outside waiting.

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By *nabelle21Woman over a year ago

B38

[Removed by poster at 07/08/21 14:24:29]

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By * and M lookingCouple over a year ago

Worcester

Why Vegan?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I've got every STD xx

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Get under the table now!"

These are dream dates, not disasters !

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By *nabelle21Woman over a year ago

B38

"Get under the table now!

These are dream dates, not disasters !

Yes.. I can see this

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By *asmeenTV/TS over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Leoblooms looks for bahumas cock

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By * and M lookingCouple over a year ago

Worcester

McDonalds is not a restaurant!!!!

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By *nabelle21Woman over a year ago

B38

Fuck me...I love myself

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Leoblooms looks for bahumas cock "

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By *asmeenTV/TS over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

"Leoblooms looks for bahumas cock

Your date is ruined

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Does this smell like chloroform?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

It was this or suicide

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By *otPrinceHarryMan over a year ago

Glasgow

Actually, according to Jordan Peterson...

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By *unloversCouple over a year ago

rotherham

You,ve got to be joking

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

It's ok. It's only puss

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 07/08/21 14:49:28]

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I really admire Katie Hopkins!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Any opinions about cannibalism?

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By *asmeenTV/TS over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

"I really admire Katie Hopkins! "

A talking point

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I really admire Katie Hopkins! "

Winner!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Want to share my anusol?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

You’re paying right?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Want to share my anusol? "

If a girl said that to me she would seal the deal.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Smell this rag for me

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By *asmeenTV/TS over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

"Smell this rag for me"

Which 1

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By *assionate1971Man over a year ago

Herts

Are you genuine ?

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By *elshkinkyMan over a year ago

south wales

Like my England rugby top?

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By *ex HolesMan over a year ago

Up North

Definitely anal for you tonight

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By *icolerobbieCouple over a year ago

walsall

Are you a feminist?

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