We’ve all seen them….in virtually every bloody action film going!
The hero is seemingly contractually obliged to be shot or stabbed….but only in the shoulder.
Ammo is seemingly infinite in any given firearm….unless the hero decides to check their magazine whereupon they will be instantly dismayed to find that there is suddenly, only one bullet left(!)
Cars explode for any given reason (even if shot in the tyres!!!)
List more good folks  |
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By *hesblokeMan
over a year ago
Derbyshire village |
"We’ve all seen them….in virtually every bloody action film going!
The hero is seemingly contractually obliged to be shot or stabbed….but only in the shoulder.
Ammo is seemingly infinite in any given firearm….unless the hero decides to check their magazine whereupon they will be instantly dismayed to find that there is suddenly, only one bullet left(!)
Cars explode for any given reason (even if shot in the tyres!!!)
List more good folks "
The hero feels little pain from his wounds until a pretty nurse looks at em. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I found it funny the first time watching Die Hard where Bruce Willis first got into the cab and talked about how he and his wife split up because of his work or something like that.
Like jeez, I wonder how this film is going to end...  |
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By *ean counterMan
over a year ago
Market Harborough / Kettering |
Every time someone is running away from a chasing car they run straight down the road, do they think they are going to out run it? Just turn hard left or right as cars cant change direction as quick as a human !! Dum !! |
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You can create a huge fiery explosion by flicking a cigarette into a pool of fuel. It's ok though, because apparently people can outrun explosions, throw themselves on the floor and not get hurt at all.
Oh, and even the most intense shootout won't damage anyone's hearing, a machine gun can fire a millimetre away from your ear and you'll still have perfect hearing.
All seems completely legit.  |
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Every action film requires a final climatic hand to hand fight scene between the hero and his nemesis.
It is customary and apparently accepted etiquette during such scenes for the hero to get their arse kicked for the first three quarters of this before suddenly remembering how to fight and turning the tables. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Every action film requires a final climatic hand to hand fight scene between the hero and his nemesis.
It is customary and apparently accepted etiquette during such scenes for the hero to get their arse kicked for the first three quarters of this before suddenly remembering how to fight and turning the tables."
Bonus points if he loses his weapon and/or someone steps on his hand when he's ALMOST in reach of it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This l could not understand..in the film " Lone wolf Mcquaid " ..chuck norris's love interest in it gets shot dead in the last scene in a remote area..when the shoot out ends ..chuck and a few other survivors get into a chopper and fuck off leaving her behind on the ground !!!!  ...l mean who the fuck would do that ??? ...like why the fuck didnt he bring her back with him to do the proper thing and lay her to rest... |
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Heroes are invariably socially inept, drink whiskey alone by the bucketload and are as moody as hell.
They frequently live hermetic lives and can usually only be tempted into action when it is revealed to them that their former commanding officer/former comrade/family member has been taken by the enemy. |
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It is customary at some point for the hero to remove his shirt revealing the fact that he has applied baby lotion liberally all over himself.
Remember: Shirtless heroes get an immediate adrenaline boost and can aim better, fight better and generally glisten better |
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Bad guys in action films are generally noted, British Shakespearean actors.
The intelligence agencies really need to shut down The Royal Shakespearean Company - it’s clearly a terrorist breeding ground. |
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"Every action film requires a final climatic hand to hand fight scene between the hero and his nemesis.
It is customary and apparently accepted etiquette during such scenes for the hero to get their arse kicked for the first three quarters of this before suddenly remembering how to fight and turning the tables.
Bonus points if he loses his weapon and/or someone steps on his hand when he's ALMOST in reach of it. "
Oh yes! The villain MUST stand upon and grind upon the heroes hand (whilst smiling heinously)  |
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