FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > It's complicated.
It's complicated.
Jump to: Newest in thread
 |
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
What do we complicate in our lives and could simplify?
Speak from experience or in general terms! Your pick. 
I think sometimes we strive to have too much control over our lives. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Take things moment at a time too many people plan the future and generally are left disappointed at the end so i now only think of the next step learned from the last year small picture is easier than the big one |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Take things moment at a time too many people plan the future and generally are left disappointed at the end so i now only think of the next step learned from the last year small picture is easier than the big one"
But what is life without some hopes for the future? I'm very much living in a moment person, embracing everything what comes my way. Happiness and pain equally. But I need things to look fwd to. Have something ahead leading me on a string to have a reason to wake up tomorrow and day after and day after. Maybe there is a fault in living like life ends today philosophy. We forget to consider there is a tomorrow. A consequence of today. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *j78Man
over a year ago
Leeds |
"Sex lives. Should be easy but a bit of testosterone pumping around the brain always makes it hard!
Always makes it hard you say..  ;-)"
Haha. Yes. I will give youaa private showing if you like. Hehe |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Relationships with family… we forgive things that you wouldn’t forgive a friend for… but why?"
The blood bond myth. That it's supposed to be stronger than anything else. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Take things moment at a time too many people plan the future and generally are left disappointed at the end so i now only think of the next step learned from the last year small picture is easier than the big one
But what is life without some hopes for the future? I'm very much living in a moment person, embracing everything what comes my way. Happiness and pain equally. But I need things to look fwd to. Have something ahead leading me on a string to have a reason to wake up tomorrow and day after and day after. Maybe there is a fault in living like life ends today philosophy. We forget to consider there is a tomorrow. A consequence of today. "
i used to think like you do |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Sex lives. Should be easy but a bit of testosterone pumping around the brain always makes it hard!
Always makes it hard you say.. ;-)
Haha. Yes. I will give youaa private showing if you like. Hehe"
My mood is philosophical not erotic but thanks |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Co-parenting, yeah you might hate each other for very good reasons. But your love for your children should outweigh your hatred.
"
It's a hard task. Doable with some will though |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"My mind tries to over complicate everything. It can be such a muddle sometimes. But I know how to unravel it these days. My life’s very simple and I intend to keep it that way x"
Got the reigns of it! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"This seems quite a complicated question and will need some pondering
Thanks for pointing that out. Don't put people off the thread"
Apologies, don't want to put people off..
I think you are right about people wanting to be in control of different parts of their lives, which when dealing with external factors is/can be very frustrating for some when things don't go accordingly.
I'm unsure how a person would make this simpler, other than not trying to be in control of things that are out of our hands, and focus on ways to deal with situations. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"This seems quite a complicated question and will need some pondering
Thanks for pointing that out. Don't put people off the thread
Apologies, don't want to put people off..
I think you are right about people wanting to be in control of different parts of their lives, which when dealing with external factors is/can be very frustrating for some when things don't go accordingly.
I'm unsure how a person would make this simpler, other than not trying to be in control of things that are out of our hands, and focus on ways to deal with situations."
Oh I was kidding. Sarcastic old lil me.
I think it's very hard to let go and let life evolve in front of you. Be the actor, but not always director. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Co-parenting, yeah you might hate each other for very good reasons. But your love for your children should outweigh your hatred.
"
THIS! Boils my blood when parents weaponise their kids against each other |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Co-parenting, yeah you might hate each other for very good reasons. But your love for your children should outweigh your hatred.
It's a hard task. Doable with some will though "
I manage it most of the time. But Ms ex hasn't got the memo on how to be a grown up  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Learnt a long time ago to keep things simple, you need to keep things to yourself or if need to talk pick one or two trusted friends. Deal with things in your own way on your own. Involving others (including family), I found, brings the complications and stress you don’t need.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
When my life is simple I want it more complicated. When it is complicated I want it simple. I can be quite happy pottering around but then I also like something to look forward to.
I hear it might be something to do with balance. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I de-complicated my life about 10 years ago now. This doesn’t mean my life is perfect, but it isn’t bad. I work hard, but I learned to switch off. I avoid drama, which usually means (for me) I avoid close relationships.
My heart however has recently tried to complicate life for me and I confess, I am struggling a little with that, as a great proponent of “acceptance”, I am finding it hard to practice what I preach. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I think women are lucky as they can talk about it amongst themselves. We men tend to keep it inside…
It all depends the situation. If you think about the goal try to off load the unnecessary, the less important, the dispensable etc…
I drive lots to get to work for example. I used to be stressed and will tailtagged people, go thorough amber light, going fast on motorway burning twice as much fuel, then for what? 10 minutes earlier ?
Now I just chill and most of the time I am in time.
Another different situation. When I started the bdsm journey I used to argue lots on forums or privately on message with others trying to prove myself or engaging with some trolls. It made the journey so not what I was thinking. I left few months, only chat with people I knew drama free. Only a few messages and it start unrevealing what’s supposed to be. Never look back for happy 10 years.
And now I am on here  and sometime it’s complicated lol |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I need Simplicity.
I don't do complicated.
How do you do that ?
I only have a few brain cells.
I tend to break down complications into manageable parts.  "
This reminds me of Winnie the Pooh somehow they even made it up into Tao of Pooh.. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *VineMan
over a year ago
The right place |
Give up trying to second guess other people’s motives. I don’t even always understand why I do certain things half the time, and I live with myself, so what chance do I have of thinking I understand someone else’s motives 100%.
The minute you stop judging is like freedom. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Possessions complicate life. The fewer you have the less complicated life is.
Other people complicate my life for me. I'm a fairly straightforward soul if I say I'm going to do something or be somewhere...I will. Other people however seem to attach conditions, there's always a "but" or an " if" |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Give up trying to second guess other people’s motives. I don’t even always understand why I do certain things half the time, and I live with myself, so what chance do I have of thinking I understand someone else’s motives 100%.
The minute you stop judging is like freedom. "
“Judgement is for people who can’t think”. Someone said that |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Learnt a long time ago to keep things simple, you need to keep things to yourself or if need to talk pick one or two trusted friends. Deal with things in your own way on your own. Involving others (including family), I found, brings the complications and stress you don’t need.
"
I must say I always admired that strength and independence about you. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I'm very analytical ( in more ways than one!  ) so I over complicate my whole life and make things more difficult for myself.
There are probably lots of day to day activities that humans do which could be simplified but I'm tired from over analysing and can't think of any off the top of my head. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"When my life is simple I want it more complicated. When it is complicated I want it simple. I can be quite happy pottering around but then I also like something to look forward to.
I hear it might be something to do with balance."
Always craving the opposite. Always wanting to pull the cloth from under the dishes hoping this time it all won't fall apart. That it's a change for the better. Something like that ? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I de-complicated my life about 10 years ago now. This doesn’t mean my life is perfect, but it isn’t bad. I work hard, but I learned to switch off. I avoid drama, which usually means (for me) I avoid close relationships.
My heart however has recently tried to complicate life for me and I confess, I am struggling a little with that, as a great proponent of “acceptance”, I am finding it hard to practice what I preach. "
Don't we just excel at advising others at what we ourselves failed at? Im so good at that. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"When my life is simple I want it more complicated. When it is complicated I want it simple. I can be quite happy pottering around but then I also like something to look forward to.
I hear it might be something to do with balance.
Always craving the opposite. Always wanting to pull the cloth from under the dishes hoping this time it all won't fall apart. That it's a change for the better. Something like that ? "
Pretty much.
I'm like look 'new thing', full speed ahead, CRASH!, I broke new thing, retreat ... |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I think women are lucky as they can talk about it amongst themselves. We men tend to keep it inside…
It all depends the situation. If you think about the goal try to off load the unnecessary, the less important, the dispensable etc…
I drive lots to get to work for example. I used to be stressed and will tailtagged people, go thorough amber light, going fast on motorway burning twice as much fuel, then for what? 10 minutes earlier ?
Now I just chill and most of the time I am in time.
Another different situation. When I started the bdsm journey I used to argue lots on forums or privately on message with others trying to prove myself or engaging with some trolls. It made the journey so not what I was thinking. I left few months, only chat with people I knew drama free. Only a few messages and it start unrevealing what’s supposed to be. Never look back for happy 10 years.
And now I am on here and sometime it’s complicated lol"
I believe its very important to pick your battles. World is so full of shit, we cannot fix it all. We cannot fight all the time. Rest Is Paramount. So we dont drive ourselves to grave. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"When my life is simple I want it more complicated. When it is complicated I want it simple. I can be quite happy pottering around but then I also like something to look forward to.
I hear it might be something to do with balance.
Always craving the opposite. Always wanting to pull the cloth from under the dishes hoping this time it all won't fall apart. That it's a change for the better. Something like that ?
Pretty much.
I'm like look 'new thing', full speed ahead, CRASH!, I broke new thing, retreat ..."
Perhaps think of it as a mosaic. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Give up trying to second guess other people’s motives. I don’t even always understand why I do certain things half the time, and I live with myself, so what chance do I have of thinking I understand someone else’s motives 100%.
The minute you stop judging is like freedom. "
You lost me at last sentence. I thought you meant more like not reading too much into people's intentions, just taking things ar face value. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"When my life is simple I want it more complicated. When it is complicated I want it simple. I can be quite happy pottering around but then I also like something to look forward to.
I hear it might be something to do with balance.
Always craving the opposite. Always wanting to pull the cloth from under the dishes hoping this time it all won't fall apart. That it's a change for the better. Something like that ?
Pretty much.
I'm like look 'new thing', full speed ahead, CRASH!, I broke new thing, retreat ...
Perhaps think of it as a mosaic. "
My mind becomes the mosaic. Have to retreat to piece it together again. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Possessions complicate life. The fewer you have the less complicated life is.
Other people complicate my life for me. I'm a fairly straightforward soul if I say I'm going to do something or be somewhere...I will. Other people however seem to attach conditions, there's always a "but" or an " if""
Oh the "but" sentences!
On a flip side.. is it them being cautious about their boundaries? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"When my life is simple I want it more complicated. When it is complicated I want it simple. I can be quite happy pottering around but then I also like something to look forward to.
I hear it might be something to do with balance.
Always craving the opposite. Always wanting to pull the cloth from under the dishes hoping this time it all won't fall apart. That it's a change for the better. Something like that ?
Pretty much.
I'm like look 'new thing', full speed ahead, CRASH!, I broke new thing, retreat ...
Perhaps think of it as a mosaic.
My mind becomes the mosaic. Have to retreat to piece it together again."
Hope the mind finds the most peaceful arrangement possible. And durable one for the next chapter. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I'm very analytical ( in more ways than one! ) so I over complicate my whole life and make things more difficult for myself.
There are probably lots of day to day activities that humans do which could be simplified but I'm tired from over analysing and can't think of any off the top of my head. "
Haha nice twist.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"People’s feelings - a lot of people will avoid telling people things or doing things as they’re too worried about feelings.
I’m straight, direct & to the point. Struggle to sugar coat anything. "
Do you think some people feel "more"? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"People’s feelings - a lot of people will avoid telling people things or doing things as they’re too worried about feelings.
I’m straight, direct & to the point. Struggle to sugar coat anything.
Do you think some people feel "more"? "
I think a lot of people struggle to understand context - as in a word may have 3 different meanings & they’ll always take the negative version of it? If you get me…
It’s why I’ll keep the conversation low with people that aren’t perhaps capable of fully understanding words, context & expression. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"People’s feelings - a lot of people will avoid telling people things or doing things as they’re too worried about feelings.
I’m straight, direct & to the point. Struggle to sugar coat anything.
Do you think some people feel "more"? "
I think some people can feel 'more'. I can definetly get more intense emotions - but it's not always a good thing. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
One of the most important, yet simple, works of thinking and philosophy I've ever read is the Tao Te Ching by Lao Tzu, in a brilliant modern translation by Ursula le Guin. I found it to be a great guide to living with more simplicity but also more wisdom.
'Knowing others is intelligence;
knowing yourself is true wisdom.
Mastering others is strength;
mastering yourself is true power.'
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Possessions complicate life. The fewer you have the less complicated life is.
Other people complicate my life for me. I'm a fairly straightforward soul if I say I'm going to do something or be somewhere...I will. Other people however seem to attach conditions, there's always a "but" or an " if"
Oh the "but" sentences!
On a flip side.. is it them being cautious about their boundaries?"
Maybe however if I'm arranging to meet a friend for coffee I just want to arrange a time and a place. I don't want "unless x happens" or "if so and so goes wrong" I just want someone to say a time and be there. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"People’s feelings - a lot of people will avoid telling people things or doing things as they’re too worried about feelings.
I’m straight, direct & to the point. Struggle to sugar coat anything.
Do you think some people feel "more"? "
No. I think some people claim to feel more when what they mean is my feelings are more important or they express their feelings differently.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"People’s feelings - a lot of people will avoid telling people things or doing things as they’re too worried about feelings.
I’m straight, direct & to the point. Struggle to sugar coat anything.
Do you think some people feel "more"?
I think a lot of people struggle to understand context - as in a word may have 3 different meanings & they’ll always take the negative version of it? If you get me…
It’s why I’ll keep the conversation low with people that aren’t perhaps capable of fully understanding words, context & expression. "
Could be that they are all able to see is through the lense of negative past.
What does it mean "keeping conversation low"? How do you know what they are capable of straight away? Could be that they got flustered in a moment. "Ruined" crucial first seconds and got labeled? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"People’s feelings - a lot of people will avoid telling people things or doing things as they’re too worried about feelings.
I’m straight, direct & to the point. Struggle to sugar coat anything.
Do you think some people feel "more"?
I think some people can feel 'more'. I can definetly get more intense emotions - but it's not always a good thing."
I wasn't aiming to characterise it as good or bad. Maybe some people breathe louder than others. That kind of thing. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"One of the most important, yet simple, works of thinking and philosophy I've ever read is the Tao Te Ching by Lao Tzu, in a brilliant modern translation by Ursula le Guin. I found it to be a great guide to living with more simplicity but also more wisdom.
'Knowing others is intelligence;
knowing yourself is true wisdom.
Mastering others is strength;
mastering yourself is true power.'
"
The fantasy writer Ursula??? Wow. Interesting trivia.
And I mentioned tao somewhere above too. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I think that as men, we tend to over complicate women, perceiving them as some sort of unfathomable puzzle.
I mean, surely ladies aren’t that complex….are they? "
It's not Monday. Why are you teasing ? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Possessions complicate life. The fewer you have the less complicated life is.
Other people complicate my life for me. I'm a fairly straightforward soul if I say I'm going to do something or be somewhere...I will. Other people however seem to attach conditions, there's always a "but" or an " if"
Oh the "but" sentences!
On a flip side.. is it them being cautious about their boundaries?
Maybe however if I'm arranging to meet a friend for coffee I just want to arrange a time and a place. I don't want "unless x happens" or "if so and so goes wrong" I just want someone to say a time and be there."
Ah that kind of thing!
I am guilty of saying : let's play it by an ear on the day. Sometimes.  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Possessions complicate life. The fewer you have the less complicated life is.
Other people complicate my life for me. I'm a fairly straightforward soul if I say I'm going to do something or be somewhere...I will. Other people however seem to attach conditions, there's always a "but" or an " if"
Oh the "but" sentences!
On a flip side.. is it them being cautious about their boundaries?
Maybe however if I'm arranging to meet a friend for coffee I just want to arrange a time and a place. I don't want "unless x happens" or "if so and so goes wrong" I just want someone to say a time and be there.
Ah that kind of thing!
I am guilty of saying : let's play it by an ear on the day. Sometimes. "
That's different, I do that too. Some of my family members make things unnecessarily complicated. The only example i can think of is they will make arrangements to do something, someone else will ask them to do something at the same time. Instead of saying no or calling the first arrangement off they will try and do both. I'm not explaining it very well but I know what I mean |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
The fantasy writer Ursula??? Wow. Interesting trivia.
And I mentioned tao somewhere above too. "
The same - an amazing writer.
Yes, the Tao of Pooh. I also have a Tao of The Sopranos ! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Food!! 
I spend far too much time planning it, balancing the macros, working out the ratios and portions, writing it all out, working it into my schedule... It's ridiculous really, my life would be a whole lot less complicated it I just cooked what fell out of the freezer first and just enjoyed it |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Food!!
I spend far too much time planning it, balancing the macros, working out the ratios and portions, writing it all out, working it into my schedule... It's ridiculous really, my life would be a whole lot less complicated it I just cooked what fell out of the freezer first and just enjoyed it "
I like to know what I'm going to be eating and plan it out. If I go away I need to know where I'm going to be eating beforehand (others find it complicated).
I put it down to growing up in a family where food was an important thing. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Food!!
I spend far too much time planning it, balancing the macros, working out the ratios and portions, writing it all out, working it into my schedule... It's ridiculous really, my life would be a whole lot less complicated it I just cooked what fell out of the freezer first and just enjoyed it "
But look at you! Your mirror is happy I'm sure.
I just don't enjoy food anymore that much. But I wish I had more mindful relationship with it even if you describe it like that heh. Lost it somewhere recently. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Possessions complicate life. The fewer you have the less complicated life is.
Other people complicate my life for me. I'm a fairly straightforward soul if I say I'm going to do something or be somewhere...I will. Other people however seem to attach conditions, there's always a "but" or an " if""
This!
The pressure of maintaining an increasingly complicate and growing set of possessions from home(s), cars and anything else adds pressure to earn and pressure from deal with any hiccups. Same of anything in life but the bigger and more numerous then the greater the chance of over complication. Wish had realosed that 20 years ago, could be retired by now!!
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Possessions complicate life. The fewer you have the less complicated life is.
Other people complicate my life for me. I'm a fairly straightforward soul if I say I'm going to do something or be somewhere...I will. Other people however seem to attach conditions, there's always a "but" or an " if"
This!
The pressure of maintaining an increasingly complicate and growing set of possessions from home(s), cars and anything else adds pressure to earn and pressure from deal with any hiccups. Same of anything in life but the bigger and more numerous then the greater the chance of over complication. Wish had realosed that 20 years ago, could be retired by now!!
"
Today is the anniversary of when I did retire, quite a few years ago now
We sold the house, chucked a load of stuff out and away we went |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"
The fantasy writer Ursula??? Wow. Interesting trivia.
And I mentioned tao somewhere above too.
The same - an amazing writer.
Yes, the Tao of Pooh. I also have a Tao of The Sopranos ! "
Squeal. I should rewatch it. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I let myself feel too much too easily at times and it always bites me on the ass, I don't want to be an ice Queen though  "
It's hard to find the harmony when your swing gets pushed too far in the moment of excitement and mood shifts. Where is that sweet spot between frozen heart and a burning one.. God knows. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"It comes with advancing age, I live a very simple, frugal life and it makes me happy.
I'm still passionate about many things but age has clarified the desire."
Maybe we become more picky with how we utilise our time too. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"People’s feelings - a lot of people will avoid telling people things or doing things as they’re too worried about feelings.
I’m straight, direct & to the point. Struggle to sugar coat anything.
Do you think some people feel "more"?
No. I think some people claim to feel more when what they mean is my feelings are more important or they express their feelings differently.
"
You gave me some food for thoughts today. Thanks. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Possessions complicate life. The fewer you have the less complicated life is.
Other people complicate my life for me. I'm a fairly straightforward soul if I say I'm going to do something or be somewhere...I will. Other people however seem to attach conditions, there's always a "but" or an " if"
Oh the "but" sentences!
On a flip side.. is it them being cautious about their boundaries?
Maybe however if I'm arranging to meet a friend for coffee I just want to arrange a time and a place. I don't want "unless x happens" or "if so and so goes wrong" I just want someone to say a time and be there.
Ah that kind of thing!
I am guilty of saying : let's play it by an ear on the day. Sometimes.
That's different, I do that too. Some of my family members make things unnecessarily complicated. The only example i can think of is they will make arrangements to do something, someone else will ask them to do something at the same time. Instead of saying no or calling the first arrangement off they will try and do both. I'm not explaining it very well but I know what I mean "
I got it. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Possessions complicate life. The fewer you have the less complicated life is.
Other people complicate my life for me. I'm a fairly straightforward soul if I say I'm going to do something or be somewhere...I will. Other people however seem to attach conditions, there's always a "but" or an " if"
This!
The pressure of maintaining an increasingly complicate and growing set of possessions from home(s), cars and anything else adds pressure to earn and pressure from deal with any hiccups. Same of anything in life but the bigger and more numerous then the greater the chance of over complication. Wish had realosed that 20 years ago, could be retired by now!!
"
Sometimes i wonder if its like a tick off list. If we don't do certain things by a generally socially accepted age, we will be pressured and/or questioned and worse, some will question themselves. What's wrong with me ? Probably nothing. Probably your journey isn't meant to be the ordinary one. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I’ve removed many complications from my life and am indeed happier than before. If I do not need I do not get. My job is simplistic than I’ve ever had yes less well paid but I’m home where my children need me…I enjoy my work and when the clock stops so do I.
I have what I need and am happy in my little bubble.
I’m learning to let go of it wasn’t supposed to be like this and accept my life as it is. I cannot control (nor do I want to) the actions of others and accept things as they are. By doing this I find I stress so much less and have a happy little bubble. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
How to make complicated things more simple.
List and break downs.
Most of us will try and sort everything at once.
It's like constructing a building.
You can't just point and there is house you have to construct it.
Location, logistics,Foundation, design, materials, construction and final handover.
Each section also needs to be dissected.
So I always say you have an idea and you have an end goal. The bits in between is what the gaps got to fill.
Once you can understand the construction and deconstruction of situations life becomes more simple.
Not just life but relationships and careers.
The biggest flaw with myself is that I am too analytic. But it stimulates my mind and makes me strive in life. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
We complicate life because life is complicated.
Work, social lives, phones, cars, social media, education, political correctness, social norms, cultural directives (you need a better job, more money), family dynamics ... the list of things in modern life that are complicated is only growing bigger and bigger each year.
These big outside complications lead to big inner complications.
We all know people who have been damaged by old relationships. We all know people who are lonely but out socialising all the time. Or others who push everyone away hoping that someone will see through their bullshit and stay close to them.
We build walls to protect ourselves and react badly when someone gets through to our vulnerable places and rather than trust people with our vulnerability we build bigger stronger walls to keep everyone out until we succeed in keeping everyone out and then we wonder why we are alone.
I deleted social media and removed myself from people's lives in an attempt to uncomplicated my life. It worked and it didn't. My quality of life got better but also more boring. Infinitely more boring. But I'm thinking that's not a bad thing. Or is that just how I justify that to myself |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Give up trying to second guess other people’s motives. I don’t even always understand why I do certain things half the time, and I live with myself, so what chance do I have of thinking I understand someone else’s motives 100%.
The minute you stop judging is like freedom. "
That's it for me too. I used to tie myself in knots trying to read subtext into what people were saying or how they were behaving.
Life is far less complicated now I treat it as none of my business. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"We complicate life because life is complicated.
Work, social lives, phones, cars, social media, education, political correctness, social norms, cultural directives (you need a better job, more money), family dynamics ... the list of things in modern life that are complicated is only growing bigger and bigger each year.
These big outside complications lead to big inner complications.
We all know people who have been damaged by old relationships. We all know people who are lonely but out socialising all the time. Or others who push everyone away hoping that someone will see through their bullshit and stay close to them.
We build walls to protect ourselves and react badly when someone gets through to our vulnerable places and rather than trust people with our vulnerability we build bigger stronger walls to keep everyone out until we succeed in keeping everyone out and then we wonder why we are alone.
I deleted social media and removed myself from people's lives in an attempt to uncomplicated my life. It worked and it didn't. My quality of life got better but also more boring. Infinitely more boring. But I'm thinking that's not a bad thing. Or is that just how I justify that to myself "
You simplify it when you could have rationalise it.
Less people or social media but quality ones. Keep your best mate/friends the ones without drama, or never fall out with. Social media that are focused on intelligence and knowledge rather than selfies gratifications…. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Medication.
If you have to take it to make you better then why does it make you feel worse?!
I know, its complicated!
Like most things in life, it's trying to find a healthy balance and what works for you.
Jo.Xx |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I watch movies in original language but reading subtitles complicated but satisfying
So this.
You can immerse more in tone of voice this way. "
Absolutely! Can’t stand dubbing, the voices doesn’t match the actors lol!
And it’s a good exercise |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I watch movies in original language but reading subtitles complicated but satisfying
So this.
You can immerse more in tone of voice this way.
Absolutely! Can’t stand dubbing, the voices doesn’t match the actors lol!
And it’s a good exercise "
The brain does like to be stimulated with another language. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Medication.
If you have to take it to make you better then why does it make you feel worse?!
I know, its complicated!
Like most things in life, it's trying to find a healthy balance and what works for you.
Jo.Xx "
And the list of pros and cons are often so hard to compare. The pick of the bunch still might not make it all tickety boo. No side effects - maybe one day. X |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Give up trying to second guess other people’s motives. I don’t even always understand why I do certain things half the time, and I live with myself, so what chance do I have of thinking I understand someone else’s motives 100%.
The minute you stop judging is like freedom.
That's it for me too. I used to tie myself in knots trying to read subtext into what people were saying or how they were behaving.
Life is far less complicated now I treat it as none of my business."
Breaking habits is such a challenge. I'm glad you got there. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"We complicate life because life is complicated.
Work, social lives, phones, cars, social media, education, political correctness, social norms, cultural directives (you need a better job, more money), family dynamics ... the list of things in modern life that are complicated is only growing bigger and bigger each year.
These big outside complications lead to big inner complications.
We all know people who have been damaged by old relationships. We all know people who are lonely but out socialising all the time. Or others who push everyone away hoping that someone will see through their bullshit and stay close to them.
We build walls to protect ourselves and react badly when someone gets through to our vulnerable places and rather than trust people with our vulnerability we build bigger stronger walls to keep everyone out until we succeed in keeping everyone out and then we wonder why we are alone.
I deleted social media and removed myself from people's lives in an attempt to uncomplicated my life. It worked and it didn't. My quality of life got better but also more boring. Infinitely more boring. But I'm thinking that's not a bad thing. Or is that just how I justify that to myself "
I like your thought process. I guess we end up justifying to ourselves all decisions me make. If we don't give reassurance to ourselves, who else will. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"How to make complicated things more simple.
List and break downs.
Most of us will try and sort everything at once.
It's like constructing a building.
You can't just point and there is house you have to construct it.
Location, logistics,Foundation, design, materials, construction and final handover.
Each section also needs to be dissected.
So I always say you have an idea and you have an end goal. The bits in between is what the gaps got to fill.
Once you can understand the construction and deconstruction of situations life becomes more simple.
Not just life but relationships and careers.
The biggest flaw with myself is that I am too analytic. But it stimulates my mind and makes me strive in life."
But people aren't like building materials are they? Not as predictable in the way they will react put together.
Also sometimes I feel like dissecting is complicating. Unless we are able to squeeze the essence of it without getting lost in all the parts. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I’ve removed many complications from my life and am indeed happier than before. If I do not need I do not get. My job is simplistic than I’ve ever had yes less well paid but I’m home where my children need me…I enjoy my work and when the clock stops so do I.
I have what I need and am happy in my little bubble.
I’m learning to let go of it wasn’t supposed to be like this and accept my life as it is. I cannot control (nor do I want to) the actions of others and accept things as they are. By doing this I find I stress so much less and have a happy little bubble. "
It wasn't what I wanted, it wasn't supposed to be like this, etc. They are like chain on your leg. Need to keep moving. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
Eating. Most people are stuck on an invalid belief of eating 3 times a day, pretty much every single day of thier lives. When you fast you free up time thinking about what to eat, preparing food, eating food, cleaning up after food. Time slows right down by the second day because the structure is changed, and life is much simpler and slower.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Eating. Most people are stuck on an invalid belief of eating 3 times a day, pretty much every single day of thier lives. When you fast you free up time thinking about what to eat, preparing food, eating food, cleaning up after food. Time slows right down by the second day because the structure is changed, and life is much simpler and slower.
"
What type of fasting do you mean? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
"Eating. Most people are stuck on an invalid belief of eating 3 times a day, pretty much every single day of thier lives. When you fast you free up time thinking about what to eat, preparing food, eating food, cleaning up after food. Time slows right down by the second day because the structure is changed, and life is much simpler and slower.
What type of fasting do you mean?"
I fast for health, weight control and clarity / focus, mostly. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Eating. Most people are stuck on an invalid belief of eating 3 times a day, pretty much every single day of thier lives. When you fast you free up time thinking about what to eat, preparing food, eating food, cleaning up after food. Time slows right down by the second day because the structure is changed, and life is much simpler and slower.
What type of fasting do you mean?
I fast for health, weight control and clarity / focus, mostly. "
Initially it must be hard though to switch your mind not obsess about being hungry. I do 16:8 most days. Minus family outings occasionally. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
"Eating. Most people are stuck on an invalid belief of eating 3 times a day, pretty much every single day of thier lives. When you fast you free up time thinking about what to eat, preparing food, eating food, cleaning up after food. Time slows right down by the second day because the structure is changed, and life is much simpler and slower.
What type of fasting do you mean?
I fast for health, weight control and clarity / focus, mostly.
Initially it must be hard though to switch your mind not obsess about being hungry. I do 16:8 most days. Minus family outings occasionally. "
Yeah you need to plan it and get over the initial shock the first few times but hunger actually drops away quite quickly, you might get headaches as you detox too
Most people spend their entire lives reacting against or responding to things, events, outside themselves, meal times for example, without ever stopping and saying no, I’m
In control of how I feel and what I do.
Fasting from food can help reset that and put you back in control. I think 16:8 is more of a diet than a fast, a fast starts 12 hours after your last meal
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Eating. Most people are stuck on an invalid belief of eating 3 times a day, pretty much every single day of thier lives. When you fast you free up time thinking about what to eat, preparing food, eating food, cleaning up after food. Time slows right down by the second day because the structure is changed, and life is much simpler and slower.
What type of fasting do you mean?
I fast for health, weight control and clarity / focus, mostly.
Initially it must be hard though to switch your mind not obsess about being hungry. I do 16:8 most days. Minus family outings occasionally.
Yeah you need to plan it and get over the initial shock the first few times but hunger actually drops away quite quickly, you might get headaches as you detox too
Most people spend their entire lives reacting against or responding to things, events, outside themselves, meal times for example, without ever stopping and saying no, I’m
In control of how I feel and what I do.
Fasting from food can help reset that and put you back in control. I think 16:8 is more of a diet than a fast, a fast starts 12 hours after your last meal
"
I find 16:8 agrees with me very well. I usually stop eating at around 8pm and start again at midday. A black coffee at about 10am carries me through until it's time to eat. I also have no difficult exercising in a fasted state. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
