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Things you never here a woman say
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Never mind a meal & conversation - just take me for a shag over your bonnet in the pub car park!!   "
I’d totally want that instead of a meal and conversation lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"“Did you see that ludicrous performance last night”
What was Wenger thinking sending Walcott in that early?"
Always trying to walk it in 
What a tv show. One of the best. |
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By *ocothumpaMan
over a year ago
quite close to you |
1. “I’m perfectly happy…. with everything, there’s nothing I’ve want to change, buy, lose or disrupt.”
2. “HEY GARÇON!!!! I’ve just done the BIGGEST SHIT in your toilet…WOAH!!! You’re gonna need a plumber…. anyway, soo weird that Dave and Susan thought we’d get along “
3. “Sorry”
4. “Nope haven’t got any lube…just use that vapo rub”
5. “No, no those three pumps, and your whimper as you came…that’s all the sex I need…no no THANK YOU for sending me the 28 unsolicited messages…it is a shame you didn’t ride me like the dirty whore bitch I am…and thanks for not taking the time to shower…I’ll just pop downstairs and chat with your mother as you have a nap” |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"1. “I’m perfectly happy…. with everything, there’s nothing I’ve want to change, buy, lose or disrupt.”
2. “HEY GARÇON!!!! I’ve just done the BIGGEST SHIT in your toilet…WOAH!!! You’re gonna need a plumber…. anyway, soo weird that Dave and Susan thought we’d get along “
3. “Sorry”
4. “Nope haven’t got any lube…just use that vapo rub”
5. “No, no those three pumps, and your whimper as you came…that’s all the sex I need…no no THANK YOU for sending me the 28 unsolicited messages…it is a shame you didn’t ride me like the dirty whore bitch I am…and thanks for not taking the time to shower…I’ll just pop downstairs and chat with your mother as you have a nap”"
Classssaaaaaay |
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"I've tidied up, and done the washing up *for you* 
This is what a woman never says, not what a man ever says 
a woman never tells a man she's done housework for him, men (not Mr N I might add) often say they've done housework for a woman  "
Ha ha same as they never say is it ok if u look after the children while I go out with the boys! X |
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"I've tidied up, and done the washing up *for you*
This is what a woman never says, not what a man ever says "
Nope. It's the *for you* that is added which implies they've done you a favour cleaning their own shit up. |
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"I've tidied up, and done the washing up *for you*
This is what a woman never says, not what a man ever says
a woman never tells a man she's done housework for him, men (not Mr N I might add) often say they've done housework for a woman "
Please don't correct things before i've had a chance to correct them. Thanks. |
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"Arghhh, I sat on my bollocks 
I remember a lady on here starting a thread about how she'd sat on one her flaps 
*thread drift...apologies.
E"
Is that even possible ?
I might practise - gives me something to do |
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By *ermite12ukMan
over a year ago
Solihull and Brentwood |
"Arghhh, I sat on my bollocks
I remember a lady on here starting a thread about how she'd sat on one her flaps "
If she'd (axeidently) sat on her other flap at the same time. She may have needed help in pricing herself off the floor. Just sayin. |
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"I've tidied up, and done the washing up *for you*
This is what a woman never says, not what a man ever says
a woman never tells a man she's done housework for him, men (not Mr N I might add) often say they've done housework for a woman "
Not in my experience, women never stop telling you what chores they've done, whilst utterly ignoring anything the guy has done. |
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""Sure, I meet you now in your lonely hotel room" (even though you're married and cheating, no idea what you look like or sound like and you live 250 miles ago  ) "
bugger, typo error, I meant to write 250 miles away.... Honestly, I get these "meet me now" messages on a daily basis |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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“Thank you so much for telling me what I already know”
“I know it tastes like warm salty snot, but I just LOVE swallowing it, darling!”
“Of course you can hold the door open for me. I won’t thank you though - I will just scold you under my breath for being condescending and sexist”.
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Sorry I'm late..
I know exactly which shoes I'm going to wear...
Yes it's fine i know the way...
Would you like me to come and pick you up from the pub / golf club / mates house so you can have a drink?
I've left the loo seat up for you.. |
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Yes you’re right - I am overreacting and I do just need to calm down and. Stop being a drama Queen - so glad you pointed that out - especially the mansplaining and waving your finger in my face - that’s really hot!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Can I suck your cock while you watch the football my love? "
I'd like to point out that I did this for a guy during the England Ukraine match as it was meant to be a half time blow job but it ran over. I missed 3 of the 4 goals and he giggled sheepishly every time!!
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"Can I suck your cock while you watch the football my love?
I'd like to point out that I did this for a guy during the England Ukraine match as it was meant to be a half time blow job but it ran over. I missed 3 of the 4 goals and he giggled sheepishly every time!!
"
Did he run round the living room with his shirt over his head after he came screaming ‘ he shoots… he scores!?’ If not he has missed that moment forever!! |
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By *ltra72Man
over a year ago
edinburgh |
"Can I suck your cock while you watch the football my love?
I'd like to point out that I did this for a guy during the England Ukraine match as it was meant to be a half time blow job but it ran over. I missed 3 of the 4 goals and he giggled sheepishly every time!!
Did he run round the living room with his shirt over his head after he came screaming ‘ he shoots… he scores!?’ If not he has missed that moment forever!! "
He probably sang it’s cumming home |
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"Can I suck your cock while you watch the football my love?
I'd like to point out that I did this for a guy during the England Ukraine match as it was meant to be a half time blow job but it ran over. I missed 3 of the 4 goals and he giggled sheepishly every time!!
Did he run round the living room with his shirt over his head after he came screaming ‘ he shoots… he scores!?’ If not he has missed that moment forever!!
He probably sang it’s cumming home "
|
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"Can I suck your cock while you watch the football my love?
I'd like to point out that I did this for a guy during the England Ukraine match as it was meant to be a half time blow job but it ran over. I missed 3 of the 4 goals and he giggled sheepishly every time!!
"
You'll be telling me you swallowed and that the tooth fairy exists next! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Can I suck your cock while you watch the football my love?
I'd like to point out that I did this for a guy during the England Ukraine match as it was meant to be a half time blow job but it ran over. I missed 3 of the 4 goals and he giggled sheepishly every time!!
You'll be telling me you swallowed and that the tooth fairy exists next! "
I can't confirm the tooth fairy I'm afraid lol |
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"Can I suck your cock while you watch the football my love?
I'd like to point out that I did this for a guy during the England Ukraine match as it was meant to be a half time blow job but it ran over. I missed 3 of the 4 goals and he giggled sheepishly every time!!
You'll be telling me you swallowed and that the tooth fairy exists next!
I can't confirm the tooth fairy I'm afraid lol"
The waiting list of men wanting to watch football with you just got even longer.... Just for research purposes only.. Can you time the money shot with when our 'arry shoots and scores, filling the net from inside the box? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Can I suck your cock while you watch the football my love?
I'd like to point out that I did this for a guy during the England Ukraine match as it was meant to be a half time blow job but it ran over. I missed 3 of the 4 goals and he giggled sheepishly every time!!
You'll be telling me you swallowed and that the tooth fairy exists next!
I can't confirm the tooth fairy I'm afraid lol
The waiting list of men wanting to watch football with you just got even longer.... Just for research purposes only.. Can you time the money shot with when our 'arry shoots and scores, filling the net from inside the box? "
Well I didn't time the money shot like that, but we scored three goals while I was doing it so maybe it was a lucky blow job |
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"‘Yes, of course I perfectly understand the off side rule in football!’
(Mind you…..I have yet to meet a man who can summarise it in layman’s terms) "
Easy!!!
At least two defending players must be in front of the most forward attacking player when the ball is played to him/her.
It helps when you’ve coached in the premier league haha |
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"‘Yes, of course I perfectly understand the off side rule in football!’
(Mind you…..I have yet to meet a man who can summarise it in layman’s terms)
Easy!!!
At least two defending players must be in front of the most forward attacking player when the ball is played to him/her.
It helps when you’ve coached in the premier league haha"
  I stand gratefully corrected; That is a perfect description |
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"Can I suck your cock while you watch the football my love?
I'd like to point out that I did this for a guy during the England Ukraine match as it was meant to be a half time blow job but it ran over. I missed 3 of the 4 goals and he giggled sheepishly every time!!
You'll be telling me you swallowed and that the tooth fairy exists next!
I can't confirm the tooth fairy I'm afraid lol
The waiting list of men wanting to watch football with you just got even longer.... Just for research purposes only.. Can you time the money shot with when our 'arry shoots and scores, filling the net from inside the box?
Well I didn't time the money shot like that, but we scored three goals while I was doing it so maybe it was a lucky blow job "
The nation is very grateful. |
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