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The sexual "comfort zone"
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Do you like to be with someone who takes you (consentingly) outside of your sexual comfort zone?
How happy are you to play outside of it and try new things?
Do you find that sexual discovery (whether you enjoyed it in the end or not) is a thing worth experiencing?
Or is it that you'll step outside of the comfort zone only with certain people, or when you feel really safe and secure with a person?
Just curious on others' opinions really!
X
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Depends what that step out of the comfort zones involves… and usually I prefer it with someone who I built some sort of sexual intimacy with and that I can trust them and that I’m comfortable with them.
I have some absolute nos tho no matter how they try or ask. But it’s to do with me being unable to accept parts of me. So it’s a bit deeper if u get me |
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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in Co. Down |
I've stepped outside mine on here but with someone I trust and know that he would stop if I didn't want to continue. and it was amazing and something I thought I'd never enjoy after a really bad experience with an ex of mine.
I wouldn't experiment with anyone I didn't know or trust though . |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Depends what that step out of the comfort zones involves… and usually I prefer it with someone who I built some sort of sexual intimacy with and that I can trust them and that I’m comfortable with them.
I have some absolute nos tho no matter how they try or ask. But it’s to do with me being unable to accept parts of me. So it’s a bit deeper if u get me "
I definitely get you with limits, everyone should have them and be confident expressing them, though perhaps they may change over time too!
I too need to feel comfortable with someone before exploring things |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Recently I have began to push my own boundaries with a friend. It was very unexpected and rewarding at the same time, I indulged in a little anal play, I handed control to her and she pleasured me in a way I have never experienced before.
A total eye opener and it blew my mind. Trust is the key  |
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By *VineMan
over a year ago
The right place |
It’s fun to go outside my comfort zone occasionally. But it’s not something I want to be doing all the time. Sex is great already in my comfort zone. I don’t need novelty to have a good time. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Recently I have began to push my own boundaries with a friend. It was very unexpected and rewarding at the same time, I indulged in a little anal play, I handed control to her and she pleasured me in a way I have never experienced before.
A total eye opener and it blew my mind. Trust is the key "
Ha exactly, I think it’s about being comfortable and sometimes, you might end up mind blown and open to new things  |
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By * Plus ECouple
over a year ago
The South |
"Do you like to be with someone who takes you (consentingly) outside of your sexual comfort zone?
How happy are you to play outside of it and try new things?
Do you find that sexual discovery (whether you enjoyed it in the end or not) is a thing worth experiencing?
Or is it that you'll step outside of the comfort zone only with certain people, or when you feel really safe and secure with a person?
Just curious on others' opinions really!
X
"
Not necessarily outside of my comfort zone, but opened my eyes to sexual pleasures I'd never considered before.
M has been the most supportive, patient, considerate and understanding "guide" I could have dreamt of meeting.
E |
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I'm all up for trying new things but I don't feel the need to push myself out of my comfort zone. If I'm interested in something I should like it, and if I would like something I'd already be interested in it. In those cases, they are not outside my comfort zone by definition. Things are outside my comfort zone because I don't want to do them and I can't imagine enjoying them. Luke |
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I enjoy pushing my boundaries at times but it has to be an in the mood thing and with someone I trust.
At the very least I have to know that they're very experienced if I dont know them that well and you also get a feeling from them when in person too....a female domme I'd only just met took me through a few things at a club before lockdown that I hadn't experienced before but I got a real feeling that she enjoyed and cares a lot about what she was doing and was comfortably encouraging in how she did things too. How she did things and the way she did them means that I now look for the things she opened my eyes to and hopefully when our paths cross again she will show me more.
Trust is the key to exploration. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I'm all up for trying new things but I don't feel the need to push myself out of my comfort zone. If I'm interested in something I should like it, and if I would like something I'd already be interested in it. In those cases, they are not outside my comfort zone by definition. Things are outside my comfort zone because I don't want to do them and I can't imagine enjoying them. Luke "
I understand this perspective, but have you ever come across something you thought you wouldn't like, and tried it anyway and discovered that you actually did like it? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Hmm, well you have to start somewhere and usually the first 'how do you feel about' either leads to further discussion /exploration.. Or a switch goes on and i think fuck, yes please!
Current discussions involve nettles and hair (not necessarily connected ) |
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Yes because we are not born knowing what we like. The issue i have is letting that genie out of the bottle. For instance I'm rather fascinated by gangbangs but if i have one then i become a woman who has had a gb and I'm not sure how i feel about that.  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Hmm, well you have to start somewhere and usually the first 'how do you feel about' either leads to further discussion /exploration.. Or a switch goes on and i think fuck, yes please!
Current discussions involve nettles and hair (not necessarily connected ) "
Nettles?? Do share lol |
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I'm comfortable going outside my comfort zone when I feel safe and looked after. Only with certain people who've proved their trustworthiness.
But there are some things I've tried and are not for me - and there's no amount of open mindedness that will make it so |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I'm comfortable going outside my comfort zone when I feel safe and looked after. Only with certain people who've proved their trustworthiness.
But there are some things I've tried and are not for me - and there's no amount of open mindedness that will make it so"
Yes I agree, if you have tried it and disliked it enough, there's no point keeping at it. Some things are just a turn off and can't be forced! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hmm, well you have to start somewhere and usually the first 'how do you feel about' either leads to further discussion /exploration.. Or a switch goes on and i think fuck, yes please!
Current discussions involve nettles and hair (not necessarily connected )
Nettles?? Do share lol"
Gloves, nettles, skin, spankings, naked bottoms and clits   
I meet my DD in hotels, so i think I'm safe! Sometimes most of the fun is the build up and teasing /threatening (ie, I'm gonna xxx)  |
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"I'm comfortable going outside my comfort zone when I feel safe and looked after. Only with certain people who've proved their trustworthiness.
But there are some things I've tried and are not for me - and there's no amount of open mindedness that will make it so
Yes I agree, if you have tried it and disliked it enough, there's no point keeping at it. Some things are just a turn off and can't be forced!"
And people insisting it'll be different with them is an instant - oh sorry, I just realised I can't meet you after all. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Hmm, well you have to start somewhere and usually the first 'how do you feel about' either leads to further discussion /exploration.. Or a switch goes on and i think fuck, yes please!
Current discussions involve nettles and hair (not necessarily connected )
Nettles?? Do share lol
Gloves, nettles, skin, spankings, naked bottoms and clits
I meet my DD in hotels, so i think I'm safe! Sometimes most of the fun is the build up and teasing /threatening (ie, I'm gonna xxx) "
I fell in a nettle bush as a kid and was horribly stung all over, so this sounds like actual torture to me lol, but I hope you enjoy it! |
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I have stepped outside my comfort zone and given others a safe environment to step out of theirs. It's good to have that level of trust but equally to be given that level of trust.
I'm very lucky to have met someone like that. |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
"Yes because we are not born knowing what we like. The issue i have is letting that genie out of the bottle. For instance I'm rather fascinated by gangbangs but if i have one then i become a woman who has had a gb and I'm not sure how i feel about that. "
This is oddly how I feel about some things! I know it's in my head but it's trying to not view things like that.
I'd say I'm fairly open minded, I have a couple of boundaries but I've never really had them tested - two are firm and one is flexible.
I think for me I've not really had a chance to explore *that* much really. I need to feel safe and secure with someone in order to want to explore but that's always led to the person not wanting to explore certain things with me - they struggle to separate my cute, fairly likeable ways with doing those things. Such a hard life. |
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We are always looking to push boundaries and not rest on what we have.
Our time as singles opened our minds to the possibilities of different kinds of play but it’s with each other that the lines (in pencil now) are being re-drawn as we trust each other implicitly and I think that’s very important in our exploration.
Toys we said no way to a year ago are being bought…the journey of discovery is yet to find a ceiling 
K |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Hell yeah to new experiences and pushing boundaries, but only with the one person I trust more than anyone in the world, and who has shown me that it’s safe to try not things.
My comfort zone is so very different to what it was two years ago, I don’t even recognise it.
New experiences are awesome! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Do you like to be with someone who takes you (consentingly) outside of your sexual comfort zone?
How happy are you to play outside of it and try new things?
Do you find that sexual discovery (whether you enjoyed it in the end or not) is a thing worth experiencing?
Or is it that you'll step outside of the comfort zone only with certain people, or when you feel really safe and secure with a person?
Just curious on others' opinions really!
X
"
Well for me talk it out in a conversation or subtle suggestions. A simple yes or no or motion in act will tell you if they are up for it or not.
Ie finger playing around the bum it will either be alittle grown, alittle push to help or push away or a please no.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Yes because we are not born knowing what we like. The issue i have is letting that genie out of the bottle. For instance I'm rather fascinated by gangbangs but if i have one then i become a woman who has had a gb and I'm not sure how i feel about that. "
I get this. There are things that I find so hot in principle, but I'm not sure if I actually want to do them in reality! Some are taboo and some are just filthy, and I guess I worry about being judged, by others and also by myself! |
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My comfort zone was tested many years ago with a dr*nken 4some.
Our closest couple of friends and us had a wild party and we all ended up in bed together.
My mate touched and wanked me (much to the girl's delight!), I never thought he was like that!
I returned the favour after the shock wore off!! |
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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago
Gapping Fanny |
"Do you like to be with someone who takes you (consentingly) outside of your sexual comfort zone?
How happy are you to play outside of it and try new things?
Do you find that sexual discovery (whether you enjoyed it in the end or not) is a thing worth experiencing?
Or is it that you'll step outside of the comfort zone only with certain people, or when you feel really safe and secure with a person?
Just curious on others' opinions really!
X
"
More a case of we like to meet with people where we can take them out of their comfort zone, sexual or otherwise.
Discovering yourself can be very rewarding, even if that discovery is to determine you don’t like a thing. We try and ensure that the activities we do have a purpose and are not just hit A with B. People ceding control or playing with their vulnerability or living out a fantasy helps them in their journey.
We are very careful in that we will advise against or refuse to do certain things if we feel the person is ready, we are not capable or it doesn't interest us. We have an extensive set of pre meet questions which we incorporate into getting to know the people we are meeting. There is too much at risk to not take what we do seriously. Its why we won’t just be a fetish dispenser for everyone, and instead look for likeminded people.
We also have little interest in pushing boundaries or limits outside of any agreed upon activities. Everything we do is negotiated, communicated and consented to. We want people to feel safe in our abilities and that we will all have fun. If they doubt us, then no one will enjoy themselves and it will be a crap meet.
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"Do you like to be with someone who takes you (consentingly) outside of your sexual comfort zone?
How happy are you to play outside of it and try new things?
Do you find that sexual discovery (whether you enjoyed it in the end or not) is a thing worth experiencing?
Or is it that you'll step outside of the comfort zone only with certain people, or when you feel really safe and secure with a person?
Just curious on others' opinions really!
X
"
My motto is "dont be shy ,give it a try".
I'm of the opinion .. it's better to regret something you have done than you haven't, and some of my fondest memories are of when I went out of my comfort zone,  |
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By *ancer36Woman
over a year ago
Stirling |
I’m all for pushing boundaries but I won’t let just anyone do so, I need to feel a connection and trust toward someone before I feel relaxed and comfortable enough to allow them to, someone who takes the time to understand your body, your needs, wants, desires is far more appealing to me than someone who has a tick list of things they are desperate to try
Communication and an ability to express why you want to try something always helps xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yes because we are not born knowing what we like. The issue i have is letting that genie out of the bottle. For instance I'm rather fascinated by gangbangs but if i have one then i become a woman who has had a gb and I'm not sure how i feel about that.
I get this. There are things that I find so hot in principle, but I'm not sure if I actually want to do them in reality! Some are taboo and some are just filthy, and I guess I worry about being judged, by others and also by myself!"
It’s always about good communication. Some stuffs you would do it with someone you trust lots!
I am not sure you will ever find a man who would judge you for being filthy |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think if you’re in a comfort zone with someone as a person (trust, dialogue, humour) then new experiences are a shared adventure, something to look forward to rather than be cautious or anxious about. |
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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
"Hmm, well you have to start somewhere and usually the first 'how do you feel about' either leads to further discussion /exploration.. Or a switch goes on and i think fuck, yes please!
Current discussions involve nettles and hair (not necessarily connected )
Nettles?? Do share lol
Gloves, nettles, skin, spankings, naked bottoms and clits
I meet my DD in hotels, so i think I'm safe! Sometimes most of the fun is the build up and teasing /threatening (ie, I'm gonna xxx) "
Have you tried vampire gloves?
I have quite a low pain threshold so am a bit useless but I try to please and flex my boundaries as much as I can bear for the right person. I tried sounding , didn’t like it, but would do it again, being bitten and hit , water sports , to a degree, hair pulling and ch*king happy to go out of my comfort zone |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Yes because we are not born knowing what we like. The issue i have is letting that genie out of the bottle. For instance I'm rather fascinated by gangbangs but if i have one then i become a woman who has had a gb and I'm not sure how i feel about that.
I get this. There are things that I find so hot in principle, but I'm not sure if I actually want to do them in reality! Some are taboo and some are just filthy, and I guess I worry about being judged, by others and also by myself!
It’s always about good communication. Some stuffs you would do it with someone you trust lots!
I am not sure you will ever find a man who would judge you for being filthy "
Perhaps not, but as I say it's about stepping out of your comfort zone. Something might appeal to me in my head, mid fantasy, but the reality is out of my comfort zone and I'd need a special connection with someone to openly explore it. Some things are also best left as fantasies, at times |
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Ahhh, this is a strange one for me.
You see, I have experienced different kinds.
Some who want me to step outside my comfort zone to do things they would enjoy.
Some who have wanted me to step out of my comfort zone coz they genuinely believed I would enjoy something.
And others.... well, I believe they've wanted me to step out of my comfort zone purely for their own ego. To pull my puppet strings, maybe even subconsciously in some cases, but definitely not for my benefit no matter how much they may disagree. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hmm, well you have to start somewhere and usually the first 'how do you feel about' either leads to further discussion /exploration.. Or a switch goes on and i think fuck, yes please!
Current discussions involve nettles and hair (not necessarily connected )
Nettles?? Do share lol
Gloves, nettles, skin, spankings, naked bottoms and clits
I meet my DD in hotels, so i think I'm safe! Sometimes most of the fun is the build up and teasing /threatening (ie, I'm gonna xxx)
Have you tried vampire gloves?
I have quite a low pain threshold so am a bit useless but I try to please and flex my boundaries as much as I can bear for the right person. I tried sounding , didn’t like it, but would do it again, being bitten and hit , water sports , to a degree, hair pulling and ch*king happy to go out of my comfort zone "
Ooo i will mention them
Thank you |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Ahhh, this is a strange one for me.
You see, I have experienced different kinds.
Some who want me to step outside my comfort zone to do things they would enjoy.
Some who have wanted me to step out of my comfort zone coz they genuinely believed I would enjoy something.
And others.... well, I believe they've wanted me to step out of my comfort zone purely for their own ego. To pull my puppet strings, maybe even subconsciously in some cases, but definitely not for my benefit no matter how much they may disagree."
How interesting, I've never considered the motive aspect of this. I'm guessing you've enjoyed it more when their motive was your enjoyment? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Like most my comfort zone and boundaries alter depending upon who am with…my relationship and connection with them. I find differ t people bring out different wants desires and aspects of my personality. For me there are no rigid boundaries they just depend upon the variables |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I don't mind trying some new things, but i draw the line at some.
Stay away from my anus and I'm never, never going to try the 3 P's. "
But what if I asked for it while wearing blue underwear?  |
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I’m an experimentalist so that’s mostly what I do includes both sexual and mental limits. However, very few specific things that I tried previously but want to try again can only happen with the people who I have an established ,mutual trust only.  |
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By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago
Maldon and Peterborough |
"I don't mind trying some new things, but i draw the line at some.
Stay away from my anus and I'm never, never going to try the 3 P's.
But what if I asked for it while wearing blue underwear? "
Not even my balls were in your mouth.
But we could meet up, let your strip down to the blue undies and then ask. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I don't mind trying some new things, but i draw the line at some.
Stay away from my anus and I'm never, never going to try the 3 P's.
But what if I asked for it while wearing blue underwear?
Not even if my balls were in your mouth.
But we could meet up, let your strip down to the blue undies and then ask. "
Haha thanks Chunky, you're very generous |
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"Ahhh, this is a strange one for me.
You see, I have experienced different kinds.
Some who want me to step outside my comfort zone to do things they would enjoy.
Some who have wanted me to step out of my comfort zone coz they genuinely believed I would enjoy something.
And others.... well, I believe they've wanted me to step out of my comfort zone purely for their own ego. To pull my puppet strings, maybe even subconsciously in some cases, but definitely not for my benefit no matter how much they may disagree.
How interesting, I've never considered the motive aspect of this. I'm guessing you've enjoyed it more when their motive was your enjoyment?"
For sure. The issue is you generally can't tell what the motive may be until after the event  |
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By *gent CoulsonMan
over a year ago
Secret hideaway in the pennines |
As I have dipped my toe so to speak into the d/s scene, it's good to expand your experiences, but definitely with someone you feel comfortable with.
To get a better understanding of the sub side, I have been on the recieving end of cuff, impact and sensory deprivation activity.
It made me more aware of the trust element, and bond needed to play that way.
Although I am more dominant inclined, it was an enlightened experience, and one which with the right person, I could be tempted to do again |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sure, fuck it. Why not?
Bend over 
Assuming you have one big enough "
I've got a handful of nettles in my gloved hand lets see if you are still so cocky in 5 mins |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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100% Yes.
Six years ago I made vanilla look adventurous, fast forward to today having been guided and educated by someone I grew to trust I found things about myself that I never would have, and have done things that I woule have never done.
They say you only live once; Bullshit, you only die once, you live every day, so make the most of it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sure, fuck it. Why not?
Bend over
Assuming you have one big enough
I've got a handful of nettles in my gloved hand lets see if you are still so cocky in 5 mins "
Awwww... Only a handful? That's cute
(My mouth is definitely writing cheques my body can't cash) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If the thought of something makes me really uncomfortable, there's not a chance I would try it given it's me that would have to deal with the consequences |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sure, fuck it. Why not?
Bend over
Assuming you have one big enough
I've got a handful of nettles in my gloved hand lets see if you are still so cocky in 5 mins
Awwww... Only a handful? That's cute
(My mouth is definitely writing cheques my body can't cash) "
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sure, fuck it. Why not?
Bend over
Assuming you have one big enough
I've got a handful of nettles in my gloved hand lets see if you are still so cocky in 5 mins
Awwww... Only a handful? That's cute
(My mouth is definitely writing cheques my body can't cash)
"
I was happy to play a long but nettles though... |
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"Do you like to be with someone who takes you (consentingly) outside of your sexual comfort zone?
How happy are you to play outside of it and try new things?
Do you find that sexual discovery (whether you enjoyed it in the end or not) is a thing worth experiencing?
Or is it that you'll step outside of the comfort zone only with certain people, or when you feel really safe and secure with a person?
Just curious on others' opinions really!
X
"
Interesting reading as everyone has an element of trust that’s bound their comfort zone. |
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"I'm all up for trying new things but I don't feel the need to push myself out of my comfort zone. If I'm interested in something I should like it, and if I would like something I'd already be interested in it. In those cases, they are not outside my comfort zone by definition. Things are outside my comfort zone because I don't want to do them and I can't imagine enjoying them. Luke
I understand this perspective, but have you ever come across something you thought you wouldn't like, and tried it anyway and discovered that you actually did like it?"
Nothing I can think of.
I tried a bit of S&M once because my partner was into it. The experience was as I suspected - I was quite indifferent to it and I wasn't at all sure I was doing it right. |
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