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Best Chuck joke

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

Hit me up with your favourite Chuck Norris one liners.

Chuck Norris never retreats; He just attacks in the opposite direction.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

The one thing Chuck cant do is complete an online form.. he just can't submit.

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"The one thing Chuck cant do is complete an online form.. he just can't submit."

Haha brilliant

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By *implyDelightfulWoman  over a year ago

wirral

Chuck Norris makes onions cry

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By *indergirlWoman  over a year ago

somewhere, someplace

Chuck Norris does not own a stove, oven, or microwave , because revenge is a dish best served cold.

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By *indergirlWoman  over a year ago

somewhere, someplace

Chuck Norris doesn’t flush the toilet. He scares the sh*t out of it.

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By *ea monkeyMan  over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

Chuck doesn’t recognise the periodic table, the only element he believes in is the element of surprise

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Chuck doesn’t recognise the periodic table, the only element he believes in is the element of surprise"

That’s the winner today already!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Chuck Norris doesn’t flush the toilet. He scares the sh*t out of it."

Haha better

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By *ensuallover1000Man  over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

Chuck Norris doesn’t do push-ups……he’s actually pushing the Earth down.

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Chuck Norris makes onions cry "

Keep them coming

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Chuck Norris doesn’t do push-ups……he’s actually pushing the Earth down."

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By *ea monkeyMan  over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

Chuck is so fast he once ran around the earth and punched himself in the back of the head

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

Chuck Norris has a Grizzly Bear rug laid out on his family room floor. The Grizzly Bear isn't dead...it's just too afraid to move.

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By *indergirlWoman  over a year ago

somewhere, someplace

Death once had a near-Chuck-Norris experience.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I don’t get the Chuck jokes

As I know couple off people who know him and from what I have heard the dudes a legitimate bad ass who’s hung with some off the very best MMA guys in the world

Now if we start a steven seagal one I am in

With I told Anderson to throw the front kick

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By *ea monkeyMan  over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)


"I don’t get the Chuck jokes

As I know couple off people who know him and from what I have heard the dudes a legitimate bad ass who’s hung with some off the very best MMA guys in the world

Now if we start a steven seagal one I am in

With I told Anderson to throw the front kick "

Or you could start your own thread?

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By *ea monkeyMan  over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

Chuck doesn’t wear a watch, Chuck decides what time it is

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 25/06/21 09:05:14]

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I don’t get the Chuck jokes

As I know couple off people who know him and from what I have heard the dudes a legitimate bad ass who’s hung with some off the very best MMA guys in the world

Now if we start a steven seagal one I am in

With I told Anderson to throw the front kick

Or you could start your own thread? "

Difference is Steven sea gal is a known hack whare Chuck been in there and hung with the likes off nate quarry and pushed Chuck to the brink

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By *ister_ee_1981Man  over a year ago

Paphos

Chuck Norris flavours his steaks with Pepper spray...

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"I don’t get the Chuck jokes

As I know couple off people who know him and from what I have heard the dudes a legitimate bad ass who’s hung with some off the very best MMA guys in the world

Now if we start a steven seagal one I am in

With I told Anderson to throw the front kick "

That’s the whole point of them, they’re jokes about his legendary status. Not an insult to him.

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By *ister_ee_1981Man  over a year ago

Paphos

Under Chuck's beard, there isn't a chin. There is another fist...

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By *ea monkeyMan  over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)


"I don’t get the Chuck jokes

As I know couple off people who know him and from what I have heard the dudes a legitimate bad ass who’s hung with some off the very best MMA guys in the world

Now if we start a steven seagal one I am in

With I told Anderson to throw the front kick

That’s the whole point of them, they’re jokes about his legendary status. Not an insult to him. "

This is exactly it.

Chuck quite famously loves the different jokes and finds them hilarious

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By *aitonelMan  over a year ago

Liverpool


"I don’t get the Chuck jokes

As I know couple off people who know him and from what I have heard the dudes a legitimate bad ass who’s hung with some off the very best MMA guys in the world

Now if we start a steven seagal one I am in

With I told Anderson to throw the front kick

That’s the whole point of them, they’re jokes about his legendary status. Not an insult to him.

This is exactly it.

Chuck quite famously loves the different jokes and finds them hilarious"

Indeed. It's like how a story of myth and legend gets exaggerated as the years go on. It is the whole point.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Look up Chuck Norris on Google...

You can't. No-one finds Chuck Norris, Chuck Norris finds you.

(used to ACTUALLY work if you tried it!)

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Look up Chuck Norris on Google...

You can't. No-one finds Chuck Norris, Chuck Norris finds you.

(used to ACTUALLY work if you tried it!)"

Haha

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By *aitonelMan  over a year ago

Liverpool

Chuck Norris doesn’t read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

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