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Can you?
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What did the fish say when he swam into a wall?
Dam.
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What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A fsh
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What do you call a can opener that doesn’t work?
A can’t opener!
I did warn you  | |||
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"Feeling a bit low again, in need of cheering up. Who can pick my mood up? Let's see your best attempts. In thread or in pm your choice! " Incoming | |||
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"Feeling a bit low again, in need of cheering up. Who can pick my mood up? Let's see your best attempts. In thread or in pm your choice! " As your in Liverpool a breakfast at the Tav should pick you up nicely  | |||
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"Stoffel, the honey badger that can escape from anywhere! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c36UNSoJenI " This I'm sure I watched on TV  | |||
"Anything for you. What do you want? X" Whatever you can think of that might help! | |||
"Stoffel, the honey badger that can escape from anywhere! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c36UNSoJenI " Honey badgers are awesome | |||
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"Sorry you are feeling blue, here’s a few bad jokes - I’ll never make a comedian
What did the fish say when he swam into a wall?
Dam.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A fsh
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
What do you call a can opener that doesn’t work?
A can’t opener!
I did warn you "Nope! You can't come in with those jokes.  | |||
"Perv at my ass normal brings a smile to people faces " perving often helps | |||
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"I can make you some chicken nuggets?" Deal! | |||
"Would a boobie hug help? Hugs make me feel better x" They always help in some way that's for sure! | |||
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"Perv at my ass normal brings a smile to people faces perving often helps " Your welcome anytime ha ha | |||
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"I can offer boobs for perving and a virtual hug....I also have chocolate in the fridge but that will have to be virtual too. " Ooooo let down on the chocolate... | |||
"I apologise in advance for these! Sending you a hug too. "I'm afraid for the calendar. Its days are numbered." "My wife said I should do lunges to stay in shape. That would be a big step forward." "Why do fathers take an extra pair of socks when they go golfing?" "In case they get a hole in one!" "Singing in the shower is fun until you get soap in your mouth. Then it's a soap opera." "What do a tick and the Eiffel Tower have in common?" "They're both Paris sites."" You can go join Spurs in the corner... | |||
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"A list of TV programmes that cheer me up (on All 4): -The Secret Life of 4 and 5 Year Olds -The Dog House -The Secret Life of the Zoo" Actually looking for something to watch. Maybe. | |||
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"Is this a new way to get boobie pictures? "If it works i may just try it | |||
"Is this a new way to get boobie pictures? "Cheer me up please x | |||
"I'm collecting used tampons to sell to vampires as tea bags " Careful, that market is a bit of a bloodbath | |||
"I don't know any jokes and I'm not very funny. New Loki is out on Wednesday and I can give you sexual validation by sending one of these. "Wrong! Correct I accept your validation! Even if you do have something in your eye. | |||
"Is this a new way to get boobie pictures? "I can neither confirm not deny that! The boobies are 100% at the choice of the sender/poster. However I don't think anyone would say no to boobie pics. | |||
So…..A family is at the dinner table. The son asks the father, ‘Dad, how many kinds of boobs are there?’ The father, surprised, answers, ‘Well, son, a woman goes through three phases; In her 20s, a woman’s breasts are like melons, round and firm. In her 30s and 40s, they are like pears, still nice, hanging a bit. After 50, they are like onions.’
‘Onions?’ the son asks.
‘Yes. You see them and they make you cry.’
This response immediately infuriated his wife and daughter. The daughter asks, ‘Mum, how many different kinds of willies are there?’
The mother smiles and says, ‘Well, dear, a man goes through three phases also. In his 20s, his willy is like an oak tree, mighty and hard. In his 30s and 40s, it’s like a birch, flexible but reliable. After his 50s, it’s like a Christmas tree.’
‘A Christmas tree?’ the daughter enquires.
‘Yes, dead from the root up and the balls are just for decoration.’  | |||
"How about a joke sir?
So…..A family is at the dinner table. The son asks the father, ‘Dad, how many kinds of boobs are there?’ The father, surprised, answers, ‘Well, son, a woman goes through three phases; In her 20s, a woman’s breasts are like melons, round and firm. In her 30s and 40s, they are like pears, still nice, hanging a bit. After 50, they are like onions.’
‘Onions?’ the son asks.
‘Yes. You see them and they make you cry.’
This response immediately infuriated his wife and daughter. The daughter asks, ‘Mum, how many different kinds of willies are there?’
The mother smiles and says, ‘Well, dear, a man goes through three phases also. In his 20s, his willy is like an oak tree, mighty and hard. In his 30s and 40s, it’s like a birch, flexible but reliable. After his 50s, it’s like a Christmas tree.’
‘A Christmas tree?’ the daughter enquires.
‘Yes, dead from the root up and the balls are just for decoration.’ "And pops up only once a year!  I like that one. | |||
