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Ikea furniture
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I wonder how many breakups have been caused due to flat pack furniture assembly.
Each item of furniture should come with 1 hours free couples therapy! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Man innately 'knows' how stuff should be assembled. It's caveman genetics.
He is wrong. The item collapses.
Woman reads the instructions. Assembles item. Eats cake.    |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I wonder how many breakups have been caused due to flat pack furniture assembly.
Each item of furniture should come with 1 hours free couples therapy!"
How many items do you have left to assemble? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Man innately 'knows' how stuff should be assembled. It's caveman genetics.
He is wrong. The item collapses.
Woman reads the instructions. Assembles item. Eats cake. "
You have been a fly on our wall then  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I wonder how many breakups have been caused due to flat pack furniture assembly.
Each item of furniture should come with 1 hours free couples therapy!
How many items do you have left to assemble? "
5 down 3 to go! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I wonder how many breakups have been caused due to flat pack furniture assembly.
Each item of furniture should come with 1 hours free couples therapy!
How many items do you have left to assemble?
5 down 3 to go!"
Oh wow! Good luck! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"On a related note, if you want to see couples arguing, B&Q is the place to go 
You saw us in there then! Sorry about that.
I swear every time I go in, there is some couple strife afoot. It usually ends with one of them storming off in front, down the aisle whilst the other one makes a sarcastic comment in their wake   "
Yep that was us. I will let you all decide who did the storming off? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I wonder how many breakups have been caused due to flat pack furniture assembly.
Each item of furniture should come with 1 hours free couples therapy!
How many items do you have left to assemble?
5 down 3 to go!
Oh wow! Good luck! "
Ash will need it! |
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Oh eck no banish them from the room.
I’ve become very apt at just balancing things just so, boxes / books acting as the extra hands, so it can be assembled without anyone else around. If it goes wrong it’s my fault and not because I’ve been passed the wrong f’ing screws or alike. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Man innately 'knows' how stuff should be assembled. It's caveman genetics.
He is wrong. The item collapses.
Woman reads the instructions. Assembles item. Eats cake.
You have been a fly on our wall then "
Experience.
I want to go to IKEA now!  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Oh eck no banish them from the room.
I’ve become very apt at just balancing things just so, boxes / books acting as the extra hands, so it can be assembled without anyone else around. If it goes wrong it’s my fault and not because I’ve been passed the wrong f’ing screws or alike. "
So have I and always done it by self but some people just Can't help themselves but try and "help"
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I feel your pain Lorna and I'm not ashamed to admit that in the past I hired someone to come and build a bed for me. Far too fiddly and dull for me. "
I wish we had done the same.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You should share the creative process...just don't make me go to IKEA in the first place ...are there man creches there yet  "
There's a big store near me that has a kind of man creche. A load of seats at the bottom of the stairs where the menfolk congregate while the wimmin go shop.
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By *abs..Woman
over a year ago
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"You should share the creative process...just don't make me go to IKEA in the first place ...are there man creches there yet
There's a big store near me that has a kind of man creche. A load of seats at the bottom of the stairs where the menfolk congregate while the wimmin go shop.
"
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"IKEA stuff is great. Clear instructions and easy to erect.... the furniture that is of course 
You come and bloody do it then!
I'd have done it for mates rates if you were closer lol"
I mean it's only about 5 hours drive. Whats 5 hours between friends? Ash will even make you a cuppa and he has hobnobs.  |
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"You should share the creative process...just don't make me go to IKEA in the first place ...are there man creches there yet
There's a big store near me that has a kind of man creche. A load of seats at the bottom of the stairs where the menfolk congregate while the wimmin go shop.
"
they're all saying. ..make it stop... please... make it stop ....ok ....buy some scented tealights |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I get lots of customers getting in touch for me to build for them it’s actually nice and straight forward, IKEA and next are usually excellent, no a fan of Argos though |
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By *X2019Man
over a year ago
Newcastle |
"IKEA stuff is great. Clear instructions and easy to erect.... the furniture that is of course
You come and bloody do it then!
I'd have done it for mates rates if you were closer lol
I mean it's only about 5 hours drive. Whats 5 hours between friends? Ash will even make you a cuppa and he has hobnobs. "
As tempting as that is I'll have to pass I'm afaid lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Man innately 'knows' how stuff should be assembled. It's caveman genetics.
He is wrong. The item collapses.
Woman reads the instructions. Assembles item. Eats cake. "
|
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"Oh eck no banish them from the room.
I’ve become very apt at just balancing things just so, boxes / books acting as the extra hands, so it can be assembled without anyone else around. If it goes wrong it’s my fault and not because I’ve been passed the wrong f’ing screws or alike.
So have I and always done it by self but some people just Can't help themselves but try and "help"
"
I hear you, different meaning to the word help |
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By *abs..Woman
over a year ago
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"Ash is still with us isn’t he Lorna? x
I'm still alive Babs
For now!!!
And its those rolling eyes that keep getting you into trouble isn't it? "
thank goodness Ash, but be careful with the eye rolls  |
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"Sam puts furniture together whilst cooking a roast and mowing the lawn.
If only women learned such multitasking skills "
I tried and ended up mowing a roast while cooking a futon and screwing a chicken |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sam puts furniture together whilst cooking a roast and mowing the lawn.
If only women learned such multitasking skills
I tried and ended up mowing a roast while cooking a futon and screwing a chicken "
You really clucked that up!
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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago
East London |
Although we didn't buy from IKEA my husband and I had an understanding where furniture assembly was concerned.
I assembled it while he was at work.
I even managed to assemble bunk beds on my own.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"am i a weirdo? i really like building flat pack furniture , its like a big jigsaw or lego lol
I'm guessing you do it alone.
"
yeah maybe thats it
i wouldn’t let anyone touch my jigsaws either |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"am i a weirdo? i really like building flat pack furniture , its like a big jigsaw or lego lol
I'm guessing you do it alone.
yeah maybe thats it
i wouldn’t let anyone touch my jigsaws either "
Thats definitely it and very wise. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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IKEA furniture is a team building exercise. It's that bit that most get wrong, the instructions won't help you on how to problem solve together if you don't work as a team.
The arguments usually start when one person speaks to other like they are thick, or one person snaps at the other.
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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
"On a related note, if you want to see couples arguing, B&Q is the place to go "
Very true.
The isle with the chains and carabiner clips , we argued about the length and thickness needed to secure her. We settled on 3 meters of 8mm, cut into 4 |
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"Man innately 'knows' how stuff should be assembled. It's caveman genetics.
He is wrong. The item collapses.
Woman reads the instructions. Assembles item. Eats cake. "
Hahaha, spot on! After 15 years husband have finally learned to leave the room and let me do it |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I’ve put up a 5 shelf bookcase and a day bed all by myself this past week. It’s not a two player game #fight"
We had 2 triple wardrobes.
Needed 2 of us. |
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By *yn drwgMan
over a year ago
Camarthen |
Not a fan of flat pack furniture but I once met a girlfriend when I offered to assemble some bedroom furniture for her, she teased the fuck out of me by lieing on bed while I struggled with instructions! Had some amazing times after that lol |
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I swear once I got lost in the Coventry IKEA for what honestly felt like 5 hours. Must of seen the bloody candle section six or seven times. Stopped in the canteen for my lunch and dinner. Eventually made it out, it was dark, I realised as I looked down into my plastic bag at a very sad looking bag of Swedish biscuits, several scented candles and an expresso cup, I realised I had wasted an entire day. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I swear once I got lost in the Coventry IKEA for what honestly felt like 5 hours. Must of seen the bloody candle section six or seven times. Stopped in the canteen for my lunch and dinner. Eventually made it out, it was dark, I realised as I looked down into my plastic bag at a very sad looking bag of Swedish biscuits, several scented candles and an expresso cup, I realised I had wasted an entire day."
Their meatballs are made from the people that never found their way out |
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Mr KC is something of an expert in constructing IKEA furniture. He likes to be left in peace to do it himself, but he's never not managed to build things. I have contemplated hiring his services out as a flat pack erector |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Mr KC is something of an expert in constructing IKEA furniture. He likes to be left in peace to do it himself, but he's never not managed to build things. I have contemplated hiring his services out as a flat pack erector "
Hes hired! When he's free? |
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"Mr KC is something of an expert in constructing IKEA furniture. He likes to be left in peace to do it himself, but he's never not managed to build things. I have contemplated hiring his services out as a flat pack erector
Hes hired! When he's free?"
I shall check his diary in the morning |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I bet there has been a few . Even more so in the car park . Love watching all the people come out with mounds of stuff as they pull the trolley behind the Fiat 500 they came in . It’s certainly a bloke thing of ‘ it will fit in the car ‘ . Poor wife looks like a random piece of origami. |
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"I bet there has been a few . Even more so in the car park . Love watching all the people come out with mounds of stuff as they pull the trolley behind the Fiat 500 they came in . It’s certainly a bloke thing of ‘ it will fit in the car ‘ . Poor wife looks like a random piece of origami. "
Nope, it's me (Mrs KC) who does the "it'll fit" Jenga-styleeee after. I've got a pic somewhere of Mr KC squished into the passenger seat, our son in the back and everyone is wedged in with boxes and mattresses etc. I'm the driver, as Mr KC has no license |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Oh Lorna this thread did make me laugh! I’m pleased to hear you’ve both survived though. I bet your showroom on looks amazing
Happy new together home  "
Thank you lovely lady.
We did admit defeat with the TV cabinet.
I still can not figure out how those bloody draws go in even though Ash kept insisting he could do it! |
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