FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > I expect the same
I expect the same
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So, reading through some profiles, as you do, and I see a lot of 'I do this, I expect the same of any meets'.
Is it just me (I hate that phrase lol) that just says no!
Particularly if it's yo do with personal grooming. 'I'm shaved and I expect you to be aswell'
Errrr you can chuff off sunshine.
I know, I know it's. A preference and people can choose who they meet and how they meet etc etc, it just made me laugh how a profile can be quite appealing until they tell me what I should and shouldn't do with my public hair, for instance (yes, again I know I have a choice not to meet them if I don't want to shave.....) |
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"I would just take that as them stating a preference, rather than telling you you should shave...
Stuff like that doesn't bother me at all.
Lu  "
I did say I knew it was a preference
It doesn't bother me bother me. Just a thing that popped into my head so I popped it in the forum 
I'm the same off fab as well. If someone expects something off me, my first gut reaction is to tell them to sod off. |
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By *gent CoulsonMan
over a year ago
Secret hideaway in the pennines |
I've seen this on a few ladies profiles, things like no chest hair. Or only well hung, .
It's all about preference and as the ladies are outnumbered, they can be more specific about what they desire in a playmate |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Or the 'fitness fanatic, looking for similar'
Ok, that's me out then 
It doesn't bother me as such, but I can use it myself to not bother with them.
*Not bother with them* - Is that even grammatically correct?? It's early and my brain hasn't woken up yet  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I would just take that as them stating a preference, rather than telling you you should shave...
Stuff like that doesn't bother me at all.
Lu
I did say I knew it was a preference
It doesn't bother me bother me. Just a thing that popped into my head so I popped it in the forum
I'm the same off fab as well. If someone expects something off me, my first gut reaction is to tell them to sod off. "
I get what you're saying...I just wouldn't have read into it the same way |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I would just take that as them stating a preference, rather than telling you you should shave...
Stuff like that doesn't bother me at all.
Lu "
I kind of get where OP is coming from. The preference doesn't bother me at all, but there must be a better way to phrase it surely? Something like "I prefer a shaved/unshaved xyz". Saying "I expect" comes across a bit too intimidating. |
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"I would just take that as them stating a preference, rather than telling you you should shave...
Stuff like that doesn't bother me at all.
Lu
I kind of get where OP is coming from. The preference doesn't bother me at all, but there must be a better way to phrase it surely? Something like "I prefer a shaved/unshaved xyz". Saying "I expect" comes across a bit too intimidating. "
At least it's not "I know what soap is" 
Congratulations do you want a gold star? |
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Yep as soon as someone "expects" something from me I'm off. It has undertones of that awful phrase "I expected better of you" implying disappointment before they've even met you.
I know it's a preference etc but it still winds me up  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I would just take that as them stating a preference, rather than telling you you should shave...
Stuff like that doesn't bother me at all.
Lu
I kind of get where OP is coming from. The preference doesn't bother me at all, but there must be a better way to phrase it surely? Something like "I prefer a shaved/unshaved xyz". Saying "I expect" comes across a bit too intimidating. "
Yeah, I get that...but that's her preference...its up to them how they express themselves on their profile. If they're not for you, what difference does it make. If that preference rules you out anyway, changing the wording holds no purpose really.
The statement serves it's purpose. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I would just take that as them stating a preference, rather than telling you you should shave...
Stuff like that doesn't bother me at all.
Lu
I kind of get where OP is coming from. The preference doesn't bother me at all, but there must be a better way to phrase it surely? Something like "I prefer a shaved/unshaved xyz". Saying "I expect" comes across a bit too intimidating.
Yeah, I get that...but that's her preference...its up to them how they express themselves on their profile. If they're not for you, what difference does it make. If that preference rules you out anyway, changing the wording holds no purpose really.
The statement serves it's purpose. "
It's just a burst bubble isn't it. You look at someone's photos, read their profile and get that tingle, thinking "ooft, they're a bit of me" and then suddenly read something that jars you a bit. It's totally fair enough to feel disappointed for a moment before moving on to the next profile... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I would just take that as them stating a preference, rather than telling you you should shave...
Stuff like that doesn't bother me at all.
Lu
I kind of get where OP is coming from. The preference doesn't bother me at all, but there must be a better way to phrase it surely? Something like "I prefer a shaved/unshaved xyz". Saying "I expect" comes across a bit too intimidating.
Yeah, I get that...but that's her preference...its up to them how they express themselves on their profile. If they're not for you, what difference does it make. If that preference rules you out anyway, changing the wording holds no purpose really.
The statement serves it's purpose.
It's just a burst bubble isn't it. You look at someone's photos, read their profile and get that tingle, thinking "ooft, they're a bit of me" and then suddenly read something that jars you a bit. It's totally fair enough to feel disappointed for a moment before moving on to the next profile... "
Of course it is! I'm not saying it not....just that I wouldn't be. |
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"Yep as soon as someone "expects" something from me I'm off. It has undertones of that awful phrase "I expected better of you" implying disappointment before they've even met you.
I know it's a preference etc but it still winds me up "
Pre Covid , my profile stated "pubic hair are a big NoNo" , is that any better ? I don't think there's a diplomatic way to put it . However it's worded it's gonna annoy some .
I do know people are more than a "bush" but I just don't like it . I dislike the feel on my tongue , up my nose and the loose one in my mouth .
Whatever "restrictions" people states on their profile, others will take offence .
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Nah I just skip their profile as we're not compatible.
I do however get annoyed when someone states a clear preference on their profile which I do not meet and then when I point that out when they contact me, they try to talk me around. For example a guy had on his profile that he wasn't interested in anyone over a size 12. Well I'm a 12-14. He told me I "carried it well". I don't want someone to resort to meeting me against their preferences and I didn't want to be constantly conscious that I might be more towards the size 14 on a particular day. Same if I met someone who expressed a strong preference for no pubic hair. They're not going to be able to convince me to meet them. I don't ever want to meet someone who wishes there were things they could change about me. |
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"Yep as soon as someone "expects" something from me I'm off. It has undertones of that awful phrase "I expected better of you" implying disappointment before they've even met you.
I know it's a preference etc but it still winds me up
Pre Covid , my profile stated "pubic hair are a big NoNo" , is that any better ? I don't think there's a diplomatic way to put it . However it's worded it's gonna annoy some .
I do know people are more than a "bush" but I just don't like it . I dislike the feel on my tongue , up my nose and the loose one in my mouth .
Whatever "restrictions" people states on their profile, others will take offence .
"
For the record..... I'm not 'offended' by them stating they expect things of me as a potential meet (not me individually as some seem to think I'm implying). |
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"Yep as soon as someone "expects" something from me I'm off. It has undertones of that awful phrase "I expected better of you" implying disappointment before they've even met you.
I know it's a preference etc but it still winds me up
Pre Covid , my profile stated "pubic hair are a big NoNo" , is that any better ? I don't think there's a diplomatic way to put it . However it's worded it's gonna annoy some .
I do know people are more than a "bush" but I just don't like it . I dislike the feel on my tongue , up my nose and the loose one in my mouth .
Whatever "restrictions" people states on their profile, others will take offence .
"
I don't care if people don't like pubic hair, it's the phrase I don't like.
It's used to express loads of preferences. "I'm clean and expect the same of you" is another one.
It's just something that irks me, that's all. I'm all for expressing preference
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"I would just take that as them stating a preference, rather than telling you you should shave...
Stuff like that doesn't bother me at all.
Lu
I kind of get where OP is coming from. The preference doesn't bother me at all, but there must be a better way to phrase it surely? Something like "I prefer a shaved/unshaved xyz". Saying "I expect" comes across a bit too intimidating.
Yeah, I get that...but that's her preference...its up to them how they express themselves on their profile. If they're not for you, what difference does it make. If that preference rules you out anyway, changing the wording holds no purpose really.
The statement serves it's purpose.
It's just a burst bubble isn't it. You look at someone's photos, read their profile and get that tingle, thinking "ooft, they're a bit of me" and then suddenly read something that jars you a bit. It's totally fair enough to feel disappointed for a moment before moving on to the next profile... "
Yup |
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"Nah I just skip their profile as we're not compatible.
I do however get annoyed when someone states a clear preference on their profile which I do not meet and then when I point that out when they contact me, they try to talk me around. For example a guy had on his profile that he wasn't interested in anyone over a size 12. Well I'm a 12-14. He told me I "carried it well". I don't want someone to resort to meeting me against their preferences and I didn't want to be constantly conscious that I might be more towards the size 14 on a particular day. Same if I met someone who expressed a strong preference for no pubic hair. They're not going to be able to convince me to meet them. I don't ever want to meet someone who wishes there were things they could change about me. "
Yeah we are contacted by quite a few people whose profiles say kissing and giving a woman oral are very important to them. When we point out that's not going to happen they say it's fine. It's not though is it, you'll just be making do if you meet us |
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"Nah I just skip their profile as we're not compatible.
I do however get annoyed when someone states a clear preference on their profile which I do not meet and then when I point that out when they contact me, they try to talk me around. For example a guy had on his profile that he wasn't interested in anyone over a size 12. Well I'm a 12-14. He told me I "carried it well". I don't want someone to resort to meeting me against their preferences and I didn't want to be constantly conscious that I might be more towards the size 14 on a particular day. Same if I met someone who expressed a strong preference for no pubic hair. They're not going to be able to convince me to meet them. I don't ever want to meet someone who wishes there were things they could change about me.
Yeah we are contacted by quite a few people whose profiles say kissing and giving a woman oral are very important to them. When we point out that's not going to happen they say it's fine. It's not though is it, you'll just be making do if you meet us "
Yup. Or trying to change me.
Not doing that. |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
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"I know what you mean. I'm all excited and happy I found someone appealing, then their profile says 'I'm intelligent and expect you to be too'. Bubble burst  "
On a similar note, when I receive messages from couples and single men who state they only meet white people. My views on that aside, I have no idea why they express an interest in me. I've asked before and they've said I don't look black, I'm not "that" black (whatever that means). Or the ones who say they are gym fit and prefer to meet people like them. I'm clearly not. I don't mind people having a choice in who they meet and sure, we all meet people different from our ideals. I don't want to feel like I'm very much different from their usual and nothing will come of it if we do meet. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Op. A lot of profiles I’ve read in the least come across as pretentious, (men read profiles? you say). And it is very off putting to want to speak to these people.
Funny thing is, I don’t read profiles of many people I. The forums. You guys could have anything in your blurb and I would never know. 
*its time I started to learn a bit more about you guys.... who to say no to. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I would just take that as them stating a preference, rather than telling you you should shave...
Stuff like that doesn't bother me at all.
Lu
I kind of get where OP is coming from. The preference doesn't bother me at all, but there must be a better way to phrase it surely? Something like "I prefer a shaved/unshaved xyz". Saying "I expect" comes across a bit too intimidating. "
I agree with this. The 'expect' would put me off. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I would just take that as them stating a preference, rather than telling you you should shave...
Stuff like that doesn't bother me at all.
Lu
I kind of get where OP is coming from. The preference doesn't bother me at all, but there must be a better way to phrase it surely? Something like "I prefer a shaved/unshaved xyz". Saying "I expect" comes across a bit too intimidating.
I agree with this. The 'expect' would put me off. "
I think that putting it ‘softly’ or ‘politely’ gives some readers the impression that it’s a soft preference. “I expect” comes across harsher, admittedly but certainly stronger and says “this is what I want. Not a soft preference but a must.” It’s not wishy washy.
Nothing wrong with that. They’re not arranging to meet a lifetime partner but someone who is a ‘fantasy’ for a while. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Very few people respond well to strangers expectations.
As people have said its off putting.
We met some people at socials who had really demanding standard on their profiles but in person were cool and worked off a different set of criteria.
Also on fab, as in life maybe, people tend to copy things that look proper from other people's profiles.
It's just a way make your preferences made known in a direct way that loads of others do, so it's not rude ... right? Right?? |
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"I would just take that as them stating a preference, rather than telling you you should shave...
Stuff like that doesn't bother me at all.
Lu
I kind of get where OP is coming from. The preference doesn't bother me at all, but there must be a better way to phrase it surely? Something like "I prefer a shaved/unshaved xyz". Saying "I expect" comes across a bit too intimidating.
At least it's not "I know what soap is"
Congratulations do you want a gold star?"
I know what you mean, but there genuinely are people on here who find that concept a bit tricky! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Can't say it bothers us but like you said it's preference. However I do kind of see how it can come across as rude from reading people's replies on here, not that I've ever seen it like that but it does make sense.
We just have "We're both clean shaven and prefer to have the same in return (don't mind well trimmed)"
Her x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I demand an IQ of at least 200, the ability for the applicant to perform the full yogic lotus position and at least boast one Michelin star.....  "
Damn, only two out of three ... |
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I don’t use the words “I expect” about it, but I do make it clear that anyone I’m going to meet needs to acquaint themselves with a toothbrush and soap and water before the meet. It is an expectation, I just don’t use those specific words. I also think it’s an absolutely fair thing to expect! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I would just take that as them stating a preference, rather than telling you you should shave...
Stuff like that doesn't bother me at all.
Lu
I kind of get where OP is coming from. The preference doesn't bother me at all, but there must be a better way to phrase it surely? Something like "I prefer a shaved/unshaved xyz". Saying "I expect" comes across a bit too intimidating.
I agree with this. The 'expect' would put me off.
I think that putting it ‘softly’ or ‘politely’ gives some readers the impression that it’s a soft preference. “I expect” comes across harsher, admittedly but certainly stronger and says “this is what I want. Not a soft preference but a must.” It’s not wishy washy.
Nothing wrong with that. They’re not arranging to meet a lifetime partner but someone who is a ‘fantasy’ for a while."
Fair point about the soft vs must.
It would put me off anyway. Even if I met their criteria. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don’t use the words “I expect” about it, but I do make it clear that anyone I’m going to meet needs to acquaint themselves with a toothbrush and soap and water before the meet. It is an expectation, I just don’t use those specific words. I also think it’s an absolutely fair thing to expect!"
Apparently it's unusual for men to wash. I've lost count of the number of men who gleefully tell me they will have a shower before our meet. "So they smell nice". |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I would just take that as them stating a preference, rather than telling you you should shave...
Stuff like that doesn't bother me at all.
Lu
I kind of get where OP is coming from. The preference doesn't bother me at all, but there must be a better way to phrase it surely? Something like "I prefer a shaved/unshaved xyz". Saying "I expect" comes across a bit too intimidating.
At least it's not "I know what soap is"
Congratulations do you want a gold star?"
You say that but I do remember a fairly... "pongy" meet  |
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"So, reading through some profiles, as you do, and I see a lot of 'I do this, I expect the same of any meets'.
Is it just me (I hate that phrase lol) that just says no!
Particularly if it's yo do with personal grooming. 'I'm shaved and I expect you to be aswell'
Errrr you can chuff off sunshine.
I know, I know it's. A preference and people can choose who they meet and how they meet etc etc, it just made me laugh how a profile can be quite appealing until they tell me what I should and shouldn't do with my public hair, for instance (yes, again I know I have a choice not to meet them if I don't want to shave.....) "
But that FAB is, the difficult challenge of finding two (or more) people with matching specifications? So often the case you find something promising and then they go and spoil it all by saying something like....
To be fair I think get what you mean in terms of attitude. There's one thing to say this is what I like, this is what I don't like. It's another thing saying in an entitled way I expect you to be/do this as if other ways are disgusting or not valid. |
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"I don’t use the words “I expect” about it, but I do make it clear that anyone I’m going to meet needs to acquaint themselves with a toothbrush and soap and water before the meet. It is an expectation, I just don’t use those specific words. I also think it’s an absolutely fair thing to expect!
Apparently it's unusual for men to wash. I've lost count of the number of men who gleefully tell me they will have a shower before our meet. "So they smell nice". "
See to all those doubters on here there are a few good men about. |
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"I don’t use the words “I expect” about it, but I do make it clear that anyone I’m going to meet needs to acquaint themselves with a toothbrush and soap and water before the meet. It is an expectation, I just don’t use those specific words. I also think it’s an absolutely fair thing to expect!
Apparently it's unusual for men to wash. I've lost count of the number of men who gleefully tell me they will have a shower before our meet. "So they smell nice". "
But surely that's just saying.... I'll be squeeky clean, smell great, make an effort for meeting you.? Isn't that a good thing?
I mean reading these threads would imply that a fairly significant portion of men have poor self hygiene? Having played a lot of team sports over the years and en countered many men... I've never noticed it... But is it really that big of a problem? I'm kind of incredulous to think that people are not clean let alone when they are trying to get up close and personal with someone. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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When I see the words "and expects the same" I have visions of someone standing upon an ivory tower, shouting down instructions on how to assemble the collection of wood at the bottom to make a ladder to reach them.
I'm a man. I never read instructions |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don’t use the words “I expect” about it, but I do make it clear that anyone I’m going to meet needs to acquaint themselves with a toothbrush and soap and water before the meet. It is an expectation, I just don’t use those specific words. I also think it’s an absolutely fair thing to expect!
Apparently it's unusual for men to wash. I've lost count of the number of men who gleefully tell me they will have a shower before our meet. "So they smell nice".
See to all those doubters on here there are a few good men about."
There's lots of good men. |
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"I don’t use the words “I expect” about it, but I do make it clear that anyone I’m going to meet needs to acquaint themselves with a toothbrush and soap and water before the meet. It is an expectation, I just don’t use those specific words. I also think it’s an absolutely fair thing to expect!
Apparently it's unusual for men to wash. I've lost count of the number of men who gleefully tell me they will have a shower before our meet. "So they smell nice". "
Fortunately I’ve only met one who seemed unfamiliar with the shower, but that’s why I realised it’s not a given and decided I had to mention it in my profile. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don’t use the words “I expect” about it, but I do make it clear that anyone I’m going to meet needs to acquaint themselves with a toothbrush and soap and water before the meet. It is an expectation, I just don’t use those specific words. I also think it’s an absolutely fair thing to expect!
Apparently it's unusual for men to wash. I've lost count of the number of men who gleefully tell me they will have a shower before our meet. "So they smell nice".
But surely that's just saying.... I'll be squeeky clean, smell great, make an effort for meeting you.? Isn't that a good thing?
I mean reading these threads would imply that a fairly significant portion of men have poor self hygiene? Having played a lot of team sports over the years and en countered many men... I've never noticed it... But is it really that big of a problem? I'm kind of incredulous to think that people are not clean let alone when they are trying to get up close and personal with someone. "
I've not met stinky men to be fair. Good point. Just find it really weird they need to point out they will have a wash.
Lucky me, their cock won't smell of sweat, piss and cheese. |
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