FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > What is the right way to start a conversation when messaging ?
What is the right way to start a conversation when messaging ?
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So, here is the thing.
Has anyone noticed the number of people on here who have on their profiles
'we are well, happy, fine thanks, we found fab on the internet, yes they are nice, they are nice tits, etc etc
Suggesting I think sarcastically people actually do not strike up a conversation with them at all perhaps? and even threatening that people will be BLOCKED if they do ( so childish !)
Then have the phrase ' be original' if you contact us/me in their profiles
So frankly I'm a bit lost! given I was brought up properly with manners and taught things like ' How to greet someone properly' and other social graces. I am sure I am not alone in wondering just exactly what is someone supposed to say?
I understand it is probably a bit tedious being asked how you are etc? or being told you have great tits ( that's if you do of course some on here are in need of some work frankly
that said what should someone say instead of using polite social graces?
Perhaps maybe
A poem?
A song?
Quote the current share prices?
Suggest the winning lottery numbers?
Review a good movie?
A recipe?
interested to see what other peoples responses/ ideas are about this ..
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Let me tell you something you already know. The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It's a very mean and nasty place and I don't care how tough you are it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain't about how hard ya hit. It's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward. How much you can take and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Oh goodness. There’s no right or wrong. Just be you.
I got told one of my messages sounded ‘cut and pasted’ I have never ever done this. But I will not stop being myself, I will find people who like me, and not what I write. Does that make sense? Just be you dude.
On a further note, couples normally replied more often than not, and get ignored more often than not too, So go figure. |
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"Let me tell you something you already know. The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It's a very mean and nasty place and I don't care how tough you are it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain't about how hard ya hit. It's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward. How much you can take and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done!"
Yes!
Exactly this F&B. 
Jo.Xx |
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"Let me tell you something you already know. The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It's a very mean and nasty place and I don't care how tough you are it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain't about how hard ya hit. It's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward. How much you can take and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done!"
Good ole Sly |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Let me tell you something you already know. The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It's a very mean and nasty place and I don't care how tough you are it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain't about how hard ya hit. It's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward. How much you can take and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done!
Good ole Sly "
Works everytime !
You could actually navigate the forums by answering threads with movies' quotes only. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Dear xxxx,
Wanna fuck?
Yours sincerely, xxxx
Only kidding, I guess a good start would be to read a persons profile first and acknowledge their interest and if similar approach them by being open and honest in what it is that attracted you to them. Ask if interests are mutual or not. If not, simply thank them for having read your message and move on.
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"Let me tell you something you already know. The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It's a very mean and nasty place and I don't care how tough you are it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain't about how hard ya hit. It's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward. How much you can take and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done!"
I don't live in this world ^^. I find life is what you make it. Not everything is easy to achieve, and some people are negative takers. Positivity breeds positivity. Well it does in my world  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Let me tell you something you already know. The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It's a very mean and nasty place and I don't care how tough you are it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain't about how hard ya hit. It's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward. How much you can take and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done!
Good ole Sly
Works everytime !
You could actually navigate the forums by answering threads with movies' quotes only. "
Ffs I was impressed there for a minute F&B! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Let me tell you something you already know. The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It's a very mean and nasty place and I don't care how tough you are it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain't about how hard ya hit. It's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward. How much you can take and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done!"
Sly Stallone has just raised his glass to this.   |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Let me tell you something you already know. The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It's a very mean and nasty place and I don't care how tough you are it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain't about how hard ya hit. It's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward. How much you can take and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done!
Good ole Sly
Works everytime !
You could actually navigate the forums by answering threads with movies' quotes only.
Ffs I was impressed there for a minute F&B!"
Even after all those years, you still don't know me ! Disappointed! Come get your disappointment fuck ! |
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"Let me tell you something you already know. The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It's a very mean and nasty place and I don't care how tough you are it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain't about how hard ya hit. It's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward. How much you can take and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done!
Good ole Sly
Works everytime !
You could actually navigate the forums by answering threads with movies' quotes only.
Ffs I was impressed there for a minute F&B!"
Ffs!
He gets me every time!
Jo.Xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Let me tell you something you already know. The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It's a very mean and nasty place and I don't care how tough you are it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain't about how hard ya hit. It's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward. How much you can take and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done!
I don't live in this world ^^. I find life is what you make it. Not everything is easy to achieve, and some people are negative takers. Positivity breeds positivity. Well it does in my world "
Yes and no. I mean I am with you yet we can't exclude social context from bad situations |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Let me tell you something you already know. The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It's a very mean and nasty place and I don't care how tough you are it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain't about how hard ya hit. It's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward. How much you can take and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done!
Good ole Sly
Works everytime !
You could actually navigate the forums by answering threads with movies' quotes only.
Ffs I was impressed there for a minute F&B!
Even after all those years, you still don't know me ! Disappointed! Come get your disappointment fuck ! "
I’m on the ferry as we speak! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Let me tell you something you already know. The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It's a very mean and nasty place and I don't care how tough you are it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain't about how hard ya hit. It's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward. How much you can take and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done!
Good ole Sly
Works everytime !
You could actually navigate the forums by answering threads with movies' quotes only.
Ffs I was impressed there for a minute F&B!
Ffs!
He gets me every time!
Jo.Xx "
Yep!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Let me tell you something you already know. The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It's a very mean and nasty place and I don't care how tough you are it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain't about how hard ya hit. It's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward. How much you can take and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done!
Good ole Sly
Works everytime !
You could actually navigate the forums by answering threads with movies' quotes only.
Ffs I was impressed there for a minute F&B!
Even after all those years, you still don't know me ! Disappointed! Come get your disappointment fuck !
I’m on the ferry as we speak!"
Don't worry it will be quick
#rhymes |
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By *rder66Man
over a year ago
Tatooine |
"Let me tell you something you already know. The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It's a very mean and nasty place and I don't care how tough you are it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain't about how hard ya hit. It's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward. How much you can take and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done!
I don't live in this world ^^. I find life is what you make it. Not everything is easy to achieve, and some people are negative takers. Positivity breeds positivity. Well it does in my world "
This, and what you put into the universe you get back. |
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Why is it childish blocking people?
There's more to fab than messaging. These profiles are clearly on an even keel, found what they were looking for. They're likely here to keep up with events and clubs etc.
Why shouldn't they let people know they're probably wasting their own time messaging unless they can pull a rabbit out of the hat? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Socialising in real life and socialising on the Internet are two hugely different ball games and require different skills.
I do have a link on my bio to a forum post I made about this, if you're interested. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Let me tell you something you already know. The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It's a very mean and nasty place and I don't care how tough you are it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain't about how hard ya hit. It's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward. How much you can take and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done!
I don't live in this world ^^. I find life is what you make it. Not everything is easy to achieve, and some people are negative takers. Positivity breeds positivity. Well it does in my world This, and what you put into the universe you get back."
Again, that is too easy to believe the world works like that by completely invalidate the impact of social contexts |
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"Why is it childish blocking people?
There's more to fab than messaging. These profiles are clearly on an even keel, found what they were looking for. They're likely here to keep up with events and clubs etc.
Why shouldn't they let people know they're probably wasting their own time messaging unless they can pull a rabbit out of the hat? "
I would suggest it very childish blocking someone for saying ' how are you today? or ' so how are you finding fab' '
just maybe me though of course.. happy to know why you wouldnt agree? |
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"Let me tell you something you already know. The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It's a very mean and nasty place and I don't care how tough you are it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain't about how hard ya hit. It's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward. How much you can take and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done!"
Oh indeed for sure lol none of that is lie |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Hi OP
I will speak from personal experience and only from my perspective, not on behalf of others.
I am rather uninterested in receiving a message out of the blue from a person 'trying' to catch my attention. It can feel false or unnatural and I find it difficult to feel engaged enough to respond. To give you context it can feel like being spammed by PPI companies all wanting to represent you and saying much the same stuff.
However, I find it much easier to interact with people from the forums as I may have seen them on threads, people watched them, noticed their character, humour etc and therefore I am more likely to reply if they DM me.
I am not saying give up on sending messages but maybe to consider other avenues of interaction such as forum participation aswell.
Not sure if I have made any sense, but I hope so.
Her x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why is it childish blocking people?
There's more to fab than messaging. These profiles are clearly on an even keel, found what they were looking for. They're likely here to keep up with events and clubs etc.
Why shouldn't they let people know they're probably wasting their own time messaging unless they can pull a rabbit out of the hat?
I would suggest it very childish blocking someone for saying ' how are you today? or ' so how are you finding fab' '
just maybe me though of course.. happy to know why you wouldnt agree? "
I’m very childish then |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why is it childish blocking people?
There's more to fab than messaging. These profiles are clearly on an even keel, found what they were looking for. They're likely here to keep up with events and clubs etc.
"
Fab is weird, Newbies - expect to be Ignored I say. Just my opinion.
Forums re completely different to sending messages. Another of my opinions. |
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"So, here is the thing.
Has anyone noticed the number of people on here who have on their profiles
'we are well, happy, fine thanks, we found fab on the internet, yes they are nice, they are nice tits, etc etc
Suggesting I think sarcastically people actually do not strike up a conversation with them at all perhaps? and even threatening that people will be BLOCKED if they do ( so childish !)
Then have the phrase ' be original' if you contact us/me in their profiles
So frankly I'm a bit lost! given I was brought up properly with manners and taught things like ' How to greet someone properly' and other social graces. I am sure I am not alone in wondering just exactly what is someone supposed to say?
I understand it is probably a bit tedious being asked how you are etc? or being told you have great tits ( that's if you do of course some on here are in need of some work frankly
that said what should someone say instead of using polite social graces?
Perhaps maybe
A poem?
A song?
Quote the current share prices?
Suggest the winning lottery numbers?
Review a good movie?
A recipe?
interested to see what other peoples responses/ ideas are about this ..
"
You are way, way over thinking it.
If the people you are messaging have got any sort of content on their profile at all, just pick up on the most unique detail (they have nice lampshades, they like rugby men etc) and mention it.
BTW can I ask where you got that lampshade
BTW I play rugby I'm known for my handling skills in the scrum etc
That will put you ahead of 99% of message  |
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"Let me tell you something you already know. The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It's a very mean and nasty place and I don't care how tough you are it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain't about how hard ya hit. It's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward. How much you can take and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done!
I don't live in this world ^^. I find life is what you make it. Not everything is easy to achieve, and some people are negative takers. Positivity breeds positivity. Well it does in my world
Yes and no. I mean I am with you yet we can't exclude social context from bad situations"
Yes and no ?
It's not like you to sit on the fence |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Let me tell you something you already know. The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It's a very mean and nasty place and I don't care how tough you are it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain't about how hard ya hit. It's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward. How much you can take and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done!"
One of my favourite speeches!
That and Al Pacino in Scent of a Woman |
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"Let me tell you something you already know. The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It's a very mean and nasty place and I don't care how tough you are it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain't about how hard ya hit. It's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward. How much you can take and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done!
Good ole Sly
Works everytime !
You could actually navigate the forums by answering threads with movies' quotes only. "
Saito knows. |
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By *rder66Man
over a year ago
Tatooine |
"Let me tell you something you already know. The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It's a very mean and nasty place and I don't care how tough you are it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain't about how hard ya hit. It's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward. How much you can take and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done!
I don't live in this world ^^. I find life is what you make it. Not everything is easy to achieve, and some people are negative takers. Positivity breeds positivity. Well it does in my world This, and what you put into the universe you get back.
Again, that is too easy to believe the world works like that by completely invalidate the impact of social contexts"
My world does work like this and living in Asia for many years, this is what I believe and waht I live. This is my outlook and only attract those who are the same.
It has served me very well. |
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"Socialising in real life and socialising on the Internet are two hugely different ball games and require different skills.
I do have a link on my bio to a forum post I made about this, if you're interested."
Hi.. no I get it! my post is more about why others do not seem to understand it on both sides .. guys will say rubbish things, couples will get huffy and waltz off when they dont feel they are being spoken to properly and single women just generally do what they like because they can .. .. all that stuff is generally understood ..
However, there are some on here let's call them ' precious' people .. almost like they want a ' bespoke' approach to anyone speaking to them in any way.
They expect each person to study the form , write a bespoke message based on that and at the same time be able to tick all the other boxes ..
' Aint nobody got time for that!'
You can do all that stuff once you can do after the opening ' gambit' but not as it were just to get a ' foot in the door' ..
anyway just my thinking on it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Let me tell you something you already know. The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It's a very mean and nasty place and I don't care how tough you are it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain't about how hard ya hit. It's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward. How much you can take and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done!
I don't live in this world ^^. I find life is what you make it. Not everything is easy to achieve, and some people are negative takers. Positivity breeds positivity. Well it does in my world
Yes and no. I mean I am with you yet we can't exclude social context from bad situations
Yes and no ?
It's not like you to sit on the fence "
To some extent I do agree that individuals have a part of responsibility for their syccess in life. However,some ppl .at try as hard are the who succeed but will never do, due to social circumstances |
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"Let me tell you something you already know. The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It's a very mean and nasty place and I don't care how tough you are it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain't about how hard ya hit. It's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward. How much you can take and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done!
I don't live in this world ^^. I find life is what you make it. Not everything is easy to achieve, and some people are negative takers. Positivity breeds positivity. Well it does in my world This, and what you put into the universe you get back.
Again, that is too easy to believe the world works like that by completely invalidate the impact of social contexts"
I don't 'believe' in that world, I am 56 and that is based on my life experiences. I have had some parts of my life that I would prefer never happened, but positivity, being kind and generous has certainly been reciprocated in many ways. |
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"Why is it childish blocking people?
There's more to fab than messaging. These profiles are clearly on an even keel, found what they were looking for. They're likely here to keep up with events and clubs etc.
Why shouldn't they let people know they're probably wasting their own time messaging unless they can pull a rabbit out of the hat?
I would suggest it very childish blocking someone for saying ' how are you today? or ' so how are you finding fab' '
just maybe me though of course.. happy to know why you wouldnt agree? "
People can block anyone they want to, for any reason they like. Some profiles block people for sending friend requests without messaging, or for looking at their profile too often. Some might even block for nasty comments on the forum about people needing work done, or for entitled whinging posts. And they have every right to run their profiles how they wish, and use Fab however they want to.
The type of profile comment that you’re complaining about comes about because of the ludicrous volume of pointless, boring messages like “hi how are you”, “how are you finding Fab” (even stupider when the person you’re messaging has been here for years and has tons of veris), “how’s lockdown treating you”, “what are you looking for on here” (read the profile, it probably says). It’s not really much different from a profile saying “don’t send a dick pic”.
If you don’t like what someone says on their profile, you’re entirely free to move on and message someone else. You can even block them so you don’t have to see them in your searches - or is that too childish? |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
"Why is it childish blocking people?
There's more to fab than messaging. These profiles are clearly on an even keel, found what they were looking for. They're likely here to keep up with events and clubs etc.
Why shouldn't they let people know they're probably wasting their own time messaging unless they can pull a rabbit out of the hat?
I would suggest it very childish blocking someone for saying ' how are you today? or ' so how are you finding fab' '
just maybe me though of course.. happy to know why you wouldnt agree? "
I think you'll find profiles that do that and have it in their profiles are talking about people that send one liners containing that kind of thing - as opposed to them being included in a more detailed, and interesting, opening message.
Ultimately though it comes back to why worry about how others choose to run their profiles? Surely it's their prerogative to run them exactly how they want, just as it's yours to move onto a profile who you may be better matched to, and isn't (in your eyes) so demanding?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Let me tell you something you already know. The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It's a very mean and nasty place and I don't care how tough you are it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain't about how hard ya hit. It's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward. How much you can take and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done!
I don't live in this world ^^. I find life is what you make it. Not everything is easy to achieve, and some people are negative takers. Positivity breeds positivity. Well it does in my world This, and what you put into the universe you get back.
Again, that is too easy to believe the world works like that by completely invalidate the impact of social contextsMy world does work like this and living in Asia for many years, this is what I believe and waht I live. This is my outlook and only attract those who are the same.
It has served me very well."
I didn't say it didn't work well in general for some ppl. But having a positive outlook of life's circumstances doesn't remove the impact of social contexts.
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And my social group when I was born, would have suggested I would amount to very little. My headmistress said when I left school 'well a girl like you should learn to type as you will never amount to anything'. Wrong |
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"Why is it childish blocking people?
There's more to fab than messaging. These profiles are clearly on an even keel, found what they were looking for. They're likely here to keep up with events and clubs etc.
Why shouldn't they let people know they're probably wasting their own time messaging unless they can pull a rabbit out of the hat?
I would suggest it very childish blocking someone for saying ' how are you today? or ' so how are you finding fab' '
just maybe me though of course.. happy to know why you wouldnt agree?
People can block anyone they want to, for any reason they like. Some profiles block people for sending friend requests without messaging, or for looking at their profile too often. Some might even block for nasty comments on the forum about people needing work done, or for entitled whinging posts. And they have every right to run their profiles how they wish, and use Fab however they want to.
The type of profile comment that you’re complaining about comes about because of the ludicrous volume of pointless, boring messages like “hi how are you”, “how are you finding Fab” (even stupider when the person you’re messaging has been here for years and has tons of veris), “how’s lockdown treating you”, “what are you looking for on here” (read the profile, it probably says). It’s not really much different from a profile saying “don’t send a dick pic”.
If you don’t like what someone says on their profile, you’re entirely free to move on and message someone else. You can even block them so you don’t have to see them in your searches - or is that too childish?"
not really but you havent actually answered the question ? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Let me tell you something you already know. The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It's a very mean and nasty place and I don't care how tough you are it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain't about how hard ya hit. It's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward. How much you can take and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done!
I don't live in this world ^^. I find life is what you make it. Not everything is easy to achieve, and some people are negative takers. Positivity breeds positivity. Well it does in my world This, and what you put into the universe you get back.
Again, that is too easy to believe the world works like that by completely invalidate the impact of social contexts
I don't 'believe' in that world, I am 56 and that is based on my life experiences. I have had some parts of my life that I would prefer never happened, but positivity, being kind and generous has certainly been reciprocated in many ways."
You don't believe in adverse social circumstances ?
A positive outlook of things aren't bad at all. But doesn't work for anyone and it sort of puts blame on ppl for failures...because they didn't make it happen. |
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By *rder66Man
over a year ago
Tatooine |
"Let me tell you something you already know. The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It's a very mean and nasty place and I don't care how tough you are it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain't about how hard ya hit. It's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward. How much you can take and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done!
I don't live in this world ^^. I find life is what you make it. Not everything is easy to achieve, and some people are negative takers. Positivity breeds positivity. Well it does in my world
Yes and no. I mean I am with you yet we can't exclude social context from bad situations
Yes and no ?
It's not like you to sit on the fence
To some extent I do agree that individuals have a part of responsibility for their syccess in life. However,some ppl .at try as hard are the who succeed but will never do, due to social circumstances"
This is a good point but, failure on a set of construct which have been created, success can me measured in many ways not just economical. Just the perserverance is success within itself. We are never tuely successful as we are never can never reach or true potential.
Some people are spiritualy successful, bringinf up kids with success.
My success is not based gaining things that have no meaning. |
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"
However, there are some on here let's call them ' precious' people .. almost like they want a ' bespoke' approach to anyone speaking to them in any way.
They expect each person to study the form , write a bespoke message based on that and at the same time be able to tick all the other boxes ..
' Aint nobody got time for that!'
You can do all that stuff once you can do after the opening ' gambit' but not as it were just to get a ' foot in the door' ..
anyway just my thinking on it "
It’s not “precious” to want to be spoken to like a human being. I never reply to crap opening messages, only to people who’ve read my profile and responded to something in it. It’s not “precious” to expect someone who wants to stick their dick in me to treat me like a person, and if someone hasn’t “got time for that”, then I’m going to assume they haven’t got time for my pleasure either. |
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"Why is it childish blocking people?
There's more to fab than messaging. These profiles are clearly on an even keel, found what they were looking for. They're likely here to keep up with events and clubs etc.
Why shouldn't they let people know they're probably wasting their own time messaging unless they can pull a rabbit out of the hat?
I would suggest it very childish blocking someone for saying ' how are you today? or ' so how are you finding fab' '
just maybe me though of course.. happy to know why you wouldnt agree? "
Because that's not the kind of unoriginallity I wanna read.
Those questions are triggers for me. 5 years I've been here. I must have been asked that tens of thousands of times.
How are you today? I wanna hear that from my friends, from people I'm talking to when I'm feeling low and they're checking in on me.
I don't lie to people so if I was to answer that question I'd be extending the absolute shit I'm feeling and bringing it back to the surface in a place where I'm probably trying to escape it. How many people would actually appreciate a reply saying "I'm fucking shit. My friend was killed in a hit n run incident on Saturday and I'm struggling to come to terms with it. His mum buried her husband on the Friday and her son was killed on the Saturday. I can't begin to imagine how she feels. You might have seen it on the news"
You really wanna hear that? Coz I know full well I don't wanna hear any questions that may follow. I'm here to try and block it out for just a short while and there you are forcing me to think about it.
How are you finding fab?
"Well I've been here 5 years so it ain't all bad. If you'd bothered reading my profile tho you'd see it has been far from plain sailing and I'm still struggling with the impact of liars and cheats. I'm not here to meet anymore, I'm here for the forums and pretty much out of habit"
You wanna hear that too? I've written that shit on my profile so I don't have to talk about it unless I decide I want to when I feel it may help someone else.
Oh, and those mofos that ask "what are you doing?"
Mind your own business. What I'm doing has fuck all to do with you, who the hell do you think you are my goddam mother? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Let me tell you something you already know. The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It's a very mean and nasty place and I don't care how tough you are it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain't about how hard ya hit. It's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward. How much you can take and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done!
I don't live in this world ^^. I find life is what you make it. Not everything is easy to achieve, and some people are negative takers. Positivity breeds positivity. Well it does in my world
Yes and no. I mean I am with you yet we can't exclude social context from bad situations
Yes and no ?
It's not like you to sit on the fence
To some extent I do agree that individuals have a part of responsibility for their syccess in life. However,some ppl .at try as hard are the who succeed but will never do, due to social circumstancesThis is a good point but, failure on a set of construct which have been created, success can me measured in many ways not just economical. Just the perserverance is success within itself. We are never tuely successful as we are never can never reach or true potential.
Some people are spiritualy successful, bringinf up kids with success.
My success is not based gaining things that have no meaning."
I guess my point is that putting down success or happiness to an indivual's way of looking at things positively, will also affect one for a failure even if it wasn't one's fault. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Why is it childish blocking people?
There's more to fab than messaging. These profiles are clearly on an even keel, found what they were looking for. They're likely here to keep up with events and clubs etc.
Why shouldn't they let people know they're probably wasting their own time messaging unless they can pull a rabbit out of the hat?
I would suggest it very childish blocking someone for saying ' how are you today? or ' so how are you finding fab' '
just maybe me though of course.. happy to know why you wouldnt agree?
Because that's not the kind of unoriginallity I wanna read.
Those questions are triggers for me. 5 years I've been here. I must have been asked that tens of thousands of times.
How are you today? I wanna hear that from my friends, from people I'm talking to when I'm feeling low and they're checking in on me.
I don't lie to people so if I was to answer that question I'd be extending the absolute shit I'm feeling and bringing it back to the surface in a place where I'm probably trying to escape it. How many people would actually appreciate a reply saying "I'm fucking shit. My friend was killed in a hit n run incident on Saturday and I'm struggling to come to terms with it. His mum buried her husband on the Friday and her son was killed on the Saturday. I can't begin to imagine how she feels. You might have seen it on the news"
You really wanna hear that? Coz I know full well I don't wanna hear any questions that may follow. I'm here to try and block it out for just a short while and there you are forcing me to think about it.
How are you finding fab?
"Well I've been here 5 years so it ain't all bad. If you'd bothered reading my profile tho you'd see it has been far from plain sailing and I'm still struggling with the impact of liars and cheats. I'm not here to meet anymore, I'm here for the forums and pretty much out of habit"
You wanna hear that too? I've written that shit on my profile so I don't have to talk about it unless I decide I want to when I feel it may help someone else.
Oh, and those mofos that ask "what are you doing?"
Mind your own business. What I'm doing has fuck all to do with you, who the hell do you think you are my goddam mother?"
Yeah, but, wuu2 |
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"
People can block anyone they want to, for any reason they like. Some profiles block people for sending friend requests without messaging, or for looking at their profile too often. Some might even block for nasty comments on the forum about people needing work done, or for entitled whinging posts. And they have every right to run their profiles how they wish, and use Fab however they want to.
The type of profile comment that you’re complaining about comes about because of the ludicrous volume of pointless, boring messages like “hi how are you”, “how are you finding Fab” (even stupider when the person you’re messaging has been here for years and has tons of veris), “how’s lockdown treating you”, “what are you looking for on here” (read the profile, it probably says). It’s not really much different from a profile saying “don’t send a dick pic”.
If you don’t like what someone says on their profile, you’re entirely free to move on and message someone else. You can even block them so you don’t have to see them in your searches - or is that too childish?
not really but you havent actually answered the question ?"
What question? |
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"Why is it childish blocking people?
There's more to fab than messaging. These profiles are clearly on an even keel, found what they were looking for. They're likely here to keep up with events and clubs etc.
Why shouldn't they let people know they're probably wasting their own time messaging unless they can pull a rabbit out of the hat?
I would suggest it very childish blocking someone for saying ' how are you today? or ' so how are you finding fab' '
just maybe me though of course.. happy to know why you wouldnt agree?
Because that's not the kind of unoriginallity I wanna read.
Those questions are triggers for me. 5 years I've been here. I must have been asked that tens of thousands of times.
How are you today? I wanna hear that from my friends, from people I'm talking to when I'm feeling low and they're checking in on me.
I don't lie to people so if I was to answer that question I'd be extending the absolute shit I'm feeling and bringing it back to the surface in a place where I'm probably trying to escape it. How many people would actually appreciate a reply saying "I'm fucking shit. My friend was killed in a hit n run incident on Saturday and I'm struggling to come to terms with it. His mum buried her husband on the Friday and her son was killed on the Saturday. I can't begin to imagine how she feels. You might have seen it on the news"
You really wanna hear that? Coz I know full well I don't wanna hear any questions that may follow. I'm here to try and block it out for just a short while and there you are forcing me to think about it.
How are you finding fab?
"Well I've been here 5 years so it ain't all bad. If you'd bothered reading my profile tho you'd see it has been far from plain sailing and I'm still struggling with the impact of liars and cheats. I'm not here to meet anymore, I'm here for the forums and pretty much out of habit"
You wanna hear that too? I've written that shit on my profile so I don't have to talk about it unless I decide I want to when I feel it may help someone else.
Oh, and those mofos that ask "what are you doing?"
Mind your own business. What I'm doing has fuck all to do with you, who the hell do you think you are my goddam mother?"
Can I just offer a little (((hug))) for now. |
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By *rder66Man
over a year ago
Tatooine |
"Let me tell you something you already know. The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It's a very mean and nasty place and I don't care how tough you are it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain't about how hard ya hit. It's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward. How much you can take and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done!
I don't live in this world ^^. I find life is what you make it. Not everything is easy to achieve, and some people are negative takers. Positivity breeds positivity. Well it does in my world
Yes and no. I mean I am with you yet we can't exclude social context from bad situations
Yes and no ?
It's not like you to sit on the fence
To some extent I do agree that individuals have a part of responsibility for their syccess in life. However,some ppl .at try as hard are the who succeed but will never do, due to social circumstancesThis is a good point but, failure on a set of construct which have been created, success can me measured in many ways not just economical. Just the perserverance is success within itself. We are never tuely successful as we are never can never reach or true potential.
Some people are spiritualy successful, bringinf up kids with success.
My success is not based gaining things that have no meaning.
I guess my point is that putting down success or happiness to an indivual's way of looking at things positively, will also affect one for a failure even if it wasn't one's fault. "
The failure shouldn't be looked at as failure as this can be seen as one step closer to learning how to gain success. |
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"Let me tell you something you already know. The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It's a very mean and nasty place and I don't care how tough you are it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain't about how hard ya hit. It's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward. How much you can take and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done!
I don't live in this world ^^. I find life is what you make it. Not everything is easy to achieve, and some people are negative takers. Positivity breeds positivity. Well it does in my world This, and what you put into the universe you get back.
Again, that is too easy to believe the world works like that by completely invalidate the impact of social contexts
I don't 'believe' in that world, I am 56 and that is based on my life experiences. I have had some parts of my life that I would prefer never happened, but positivity, being kind and generous has certainly been reciprocated in many ways.
You don't believe in adverse social circumstances ?
A positive outlook of things aren't bad at all. But doesn't work for anyone and it sort of puts blame on ppl for failures...because they didn't make it happen. "
You missed my post a bit higher while you were typing |
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OP you could write the same message to 20 people and maybe only one will reply. Meaning to an extent, it doesn’t matter what you write everyone has a different idea of the type of message they like to receive and will respond to.
As has probably been said, a read if the profile could give you an indication or how to start it or even just a PM from a forum thread that you’ve both commented on could be the start.
There is no set way |
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By *rder66Man
over a year ago
Tatooine |
"Let me tell you something you already know. The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It's a very mean and nasty place and I don't care how tough you are it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain't about how hard ya hit. It's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward. How much you can take and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done!
I don't live in this world ^^. I find life is what you make it. Not everything is easy to achieve, and some people are negative takers. Positivity breeds positivity. Well it does in my world This, and what you put into the universe you get back.
Again, that is too easy to believe the world works like that by completely invalidate the impact of social contexts
I don't 'believe' in that world, I am 56 and that is based on my life experiences. I have had some parts of my life that I would prefer never happened, but positivity, being kind and generous has certainly been reciprocated in many ways.
You don't believe in adverse social circumstances ?
A positive outlook of things aren't bad at all. But doesn't work for anyone and it sort of puts blame on ppl for failures...because they didn't make it happen.
You missed my post a bit higher while you were typing "
I'll have a hug |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Usually for me a message showing they have read my profile works. You can always tell if they haven't as they ignore my preferences which is an instant delete."
Exactly this for me |
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"Let me tell you something you already know. The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It's a very mean and nasty place and I don't care how tough you are it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain't about how hard ya hit. It's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward. How much you can take and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done!
I don't live in this world ^^. I find life is what you make it. Not everything is easy to achieve, and some people are negative takers. Positivity breeds positivity. Well it does in my world This, and what you put into the universe you get back.
Again, that is too easy to believe the world works like that by completely invalidate the impact of social contexts
I don't 'believe' in that world, I am 56 and that is based on my life experiences. I have had some parts of my life that I would prefer never happened, but positivity, being kind and generous has certainly been reciprocated in many ways.
You don't believe in adverse social circumstances ?
A positive outlook of things aren't bad at all. But doesn't work for anyone and it sort of puts blame on ppl for failures...because they didn't make it happen.
You missed my post a bit higher while you were typing I'll have a hug "
My pleasure (((hug))) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Let me tell you something you already know. The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It's a very mean and nasty place and I don't care how tough you are it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain't about how hard ya hit. It's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward. How much you can take and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done!
I don't live in this world ^^. I find life is what you make it. Not everything is easy to achieve, and some people are negative takers. Positivity breeds positivity. Well it does in my world
Yes and no. I mean I am with you yet we can't exclude social context from bad situations
Yes and no ?
It's not like you to sit on the fence
To some extent I do agree that individuals have a part of responsibility for their syccess in life. However,some ppl .at try as hard are the who succeed but will never do, due to social circumstancesThis is a good point but, failure on a set of construct which have been created, success can me measured in many ways not just economical. Just the perserverance is success within itself. We are never tuely successful as we are never can never reach or true potential.
Some people are spiritualy successful, bringinf up kids with success.
My success is not based gaining things that have no meaning.
I guess my point is that putting down success or happiness to an indivual's way of looking at things positively, will also affect one for a failure even if it wasn't one's fault. The failure shouldn't be looked at as failure as this can be seen as one step closer to learning how to gain success."
Oh yes it shouldn't but again what may be working for one doesn't necessarily work for others. Plus it still puts emphasis on individual's willingness to succeed as if success or happiness only depends on that and not on external factors.
|
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I think polite social graces are absolutely fine, as long as they are a part of a longer, personalised message which shows our profile has been read and understood.
"Hi" or "How are you doing?", & absolutely nothing else, doesn't really inspire a response to be honest, it shows absolutely no effort or real desire to get to know us better.
In actual fact OP, yes, if someone were to write us a poem or suchlike it would be far more likely to get a reply, even if they weren't what we are looking for, because it would stand out from other messages and demonstrate a bit of originality.
K |
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By *rder66Man
over a year ago
Tatooine |
"Let me tell you something you already know. The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It's a very mean and nasty place and I don't care how tough you are it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain't about how hard ya hit. It's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward. How much you can take and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done!
I don't live in this world ^^. I find life is what you make it. Not everything is easy to achieve, and some people are negative takers. Positivity breeds positivity. Well it does in my world
Yes and no. I mean I am with you yet we can't exclude social context from bad situations
Yes and no ?
It's not like you to sit on the fence
To some extent I do agree that individuals have a part of responsibility for their syccess in life. However,some ppl .at try as hard are the who succeed but will never do, due to social circumstancesThis is a good point but, failure on a set of construct which have been created, success can me measured in many ways not just economical. Just the perserverance is success within itself. We are never tuely successful as we are never can never reach or true potential.
Some people are spiritualy successful, bringinf up kids with success.
My success is not based gaining things that have no meaning.
I guess my point is that putting down success or happiness to an indivual's way of looking at things positively, will also affect one for a failure even if it wasn't one's fault. The failure shouldn't be looked at as failure as this can be seen as one step closer to learning how to gain success.
Oh yes it shouldn't but again what may be working for one doesn't necessarily work for others. Plus it still puts emphasis on individual's willingness to succeed as if success or happiness only depends on that and not on external factors.
"
Yes, agred. We are all on our own jounery but individuality is born from external factors, so until we eake we are not truely individual. External factors are a false construct of socioty and media and most people view success as being something hollow and never gaining enough. The first step to universal success is the acceptance that you are enough. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Socialising in real life and socialising on the Internet are two hugely different ball games and require different skills.
I do have a link on my bio to a forum post I made about this, if you're interested.
Hi.. no I get it! my post is more about why others do not seem to understand it on both sides .. guys will say rubbish things, couples will get huffy and waltz off when they dont feel they are being spoken to properly and single women just generally do what they like because they can .. .. all that stuff is generally understood ..
However, there are some on here let's call them ' precious' people .. almost like they want a ' bespoke' approach to anyone speaking to them in any way.
They expect each person to study the form , write a bespoke message based on that and at the same time be able to tick all the other boxes ..
' Aint nobody got time for that!'
You can do all that stuff once you can do after the opening ' gambit' but not as it were just to get a ' foot in the door' ..
anyway just my thinking on it "
Why not?
They're asking for my body and my time; I should be allowed to expect a little effort in return. |
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"We'd acknowledge you've read their profile and if it's a couple address them as a couple.
And will couples please identify which one is mailing please
Makes sense."
I get a fair few messages from couples, it can take a few mails for me to get a reply to 'which one of you am I talking to' |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
However, there are some on here let's call them ' precious' people .. almost like they want a ' bespoke' approach to anyone speaking to them in any way.
They expect each person to study the form , write a bespoke message based on that and at the same time be able to tick all the other boxes ..
' Aint nobody got time for that!'
You can do all that stuff once you can do after the opening ' gambit' but not as it were just to get a ' foot in the door' ..
anyway just my thinking on it
It’s not “precious” to want to be spoken to like a human being. I never reply to crap opening messages, only to people who’ve read my profile and responded to something in it. It’s not “precious” to expect someone who wants to stick their dick in me to treat me like a person, and if someone hasn’t “got time for that”, then I’m going to assume they haven’t got time for my pleasure either."
Saved me the trouble of typing pretty much this! |
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I haven't read ONE reply to this thread O.P. I haven't got enough life left but here is my reply.
There is a huge variety of people on here. Some are thick, some are rude, some have NO social skills, some are utter dickheads, some are arrogant cunts, some are up their own arse holes, some just plain arrogant , some are narcissists............. yada yada yada yada.........
You are willo.... open a message the way willo would.
Stop playing their game. They are NO more important than you. In FACT ..... call your own shots..... you are you - not them.
Do you think there is a magic opener like ....... Once Upon a Time..... ?
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
However, there are some on here let's call them ' precious' people .. almost like they want a ' bespoke' approach to anyone speaking to them in any way.
They expect each person to study the form , write a bespoke message based on that and at the same time be able to tick all the other boxes ..
' Aint nobody got time for that!'
You can do all that stuff once you can do after the opening ' gambit' but not as it were just to get a ' foot in the door' ..
anyway just my thinking on it
It’s not “precious” to want to be spoken to like a human being. I never reply to crap opening messages, only to people who’ve read my profile and responded to something in it. It’s not “precious” to expect someone who wants to stick their dick in me to treat me like a person, and if someone hasn’t “got time for that”, then I’m going to assume they haven’t got time for my pleasure either.
Saved me the trouble of typing pretty much this! "
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"We'd acknowledge you've read their profile and if it's a couple address them as a couple.
And will couples please identify which one is mailing please "
I don't know why they don't. Sir and I do. A simple "Hi, princess here" is all it takes |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Hi OP
I will speak from personal experience and only from my perspective, not on behalf of others.
I am rather uninterested in receiving a message out of the blue from a person 'trying' to catch my attention. It can feel false or unnatural and I find it difficult to feel engaged enough to respond. To give you context it can feel like being spammed by PPI companies all wanting to represent you and saying much the same stuff.
However, I find it much easier to interact with people from the forums as I may have seen them on threads, people watched them, noticed their character, humour etc and therefore I am more likely to reply if they DM me.
I am not saying give up on sending messages but maybe to consider other avenues of interaction such as forum participation aswell.
Not sure if I have made any sense, but I hope so.
Her x"
This is what I’d say I find the forums a great way to interact also a lot of people aren’t up for chatting via messages at the minute some will be... if you do message just keep it natural don’t over think it if they like you they’ll message back |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"To have the message personally sent to me and not copy and pasted to many profile "
I've had one couple message me on my personal profile, the profile I had writin a previous FWB and the one I now have with Sir. Word for word with the same photos attached. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I agree with the OP. Its all one sided crap. Woman say be original polite etc but you send said msg being polite and you just get ignored. You cant win. |
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"I agree with the OP. Its all one sided crap. Woman say be original polite etc but you send said msg being polite and you just get ignored. You cant win. "
Have you been here before?
If not you've learned it's all one sided crap in 2 weeks.
We are still in a pandemic where people are grieving and probably ain't that interested in 1-1 conversations that they haven't necessarily invited into their inbox.
If you'd been here before you'd know full well the demographic of women who don't even open messages from profiles with no picture is huge. If you haven't been here before then maybe you should take some time to read through the forums and get a bit educated.
Oh, and of course you're well aware that without strict filters in place women can easily receive hundreds of messages a day, especially when they put up a new picture.
Why should they reply to you?
Oh yeah, and taking into account the site FAQs state that no reply means no interest, which I bet you've taken into account when writing your comment. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I agree with the OP. Its all one sided crap. Woman say be original polite etc but you send said msg being polite and you just get ignored. You cant win. "
It’s not “one sided crap though” So many things come into it, it’s not so black and white. So many reasons why... Some won’t talk to a cock pic or a blank avatar or a new unverified profile that’s never met anyone before. It’s not about winning if someone likes you they’ll reply and let you know... |
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"I agree with the OP. Its all one sided crap. Woman say be original polite etc but you send said msg being polite and you just get ignored. You cant win.
Have you been here before?
If not you've learned it's all one sided crap in 2 weeks.
We are still in a pandemic where people are grieving and probably ain't that interested in 1-1 conversations that they haven't necessarily invited into their inbox.
If you'd been here before you'd know full well the demographic of women who don't even open messages from profiles with no picture is huge. If you haven't been here before then maybe you should take some time to read through the forums and get a bit educated.
Oh, and of course you're well aware that without strict filters in place women can easily receive hundreds of messages a day, especially when they put up a new picture.
Why should they reply to you?
Oh yeah, and taking into account the site FAQs state that no reply means no interest, which I bet you've taken into account when writing your comment."
Passes Peach a bucket of ice cream and tip toes out........ |
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"I agree with the OP. Its all one sided crap. Woman say be original polite etc but you send said msg being polite and you just get ignored. You cant win.
Have you been here before?
If not you've learned it's all one sided crap in 2 weeks.
We are still in a pandemic where people are grieving and probably ain't that interested in 1-1 conversations that they haven't necessarily invited into their inbox.
If you'd been here before you'd know full well the demographic of women who don't even open messages from profiles with no picture is huge. If you haven't been here before then maybe you should take some time to read through the forums and get a bit educated.
Oh, and of course you're well aware that without strict filters in place women can easily receive hundreds of messages a day, especially when they put up a new picture.
Why should they reply to you?
Oh yeah, and taking into account the site FAQs state that no reply means no interest, which I bet you've taken into account when writing your comment.
Passes Peach a bucket of ice cream and tip toes out........ "
Can I eat it with a shovel? |
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|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I agree with the OP. Its all one sided crap. Woman say be original polite etc but you send said msg being polite and you just get ignored. You cant win.
Have you been here before?
If not you've learned it's all one sided crap in 2 weeks.
We are still in a pandemic where people are grieving and probably ain't that interested in 1-1 conversations that they haven't necessarily invited into their inbox.
If you'd been here before you'd know full well the demographic of women who don't even open messages from profiles with no picture is huge. If you haven't been here before then maybe you should take some time to read through the forums and get a bit educated.
Oh, and of course you're well aware that without strict filters in place women can easily receive hundreds of messages a day, especially when they put up a new picture.
Why should they reply to you?
Oh yeah, and taking into account the site FAQs state that no reply means no interest, which I bet you've taken into account when writing your comment."
Was on as part of a couple years ago but have single friends male and female who have told me all about the timewasters. It is true lots of decent guys like me send polite messeges but get nothing for there efforts. Yes theres lots of guys and i appreciate that but its still disheartning. Because a lot of guys are just sex pests it really is a uphill battle for us genuine guys as im sure there are timewasting women who give you a bad name |
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"I agree with the OP. Its all one sided crap. Woman say be original polite etc but you send said msg being polite and you just get ignored. You cant win.
Have you been here before?
If not you've learned it's all one sided crap in 2 weeks.
We are still in a pandemic where people are grieving and probably ain't that interested in 1-1 conversations that they haven't necessarily invited into their inbox.
If you'd been here before you'd know full well the demographic of women who don't even open messages from profiles with no picture is huge. If you haven't been here before then maybe you should take some time to read through the forums and get a bit educated.
Oh, and of course you're well aware that without strict filters in place women can easily receive hundreds of messages a day, especially when they put up a new picture.
Why should they reply to you?
Oh yeah, and taking into account the site FAQs state that no reply means no interest, which I bet you've taken into account when writing your comment.
Passes Peach a bucket of ice cream and tip toes out........
Can I eat it with a shovel? "
I will provide the shovel and the towel to catch the drips  |
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Oh, and for those whinging about not getting replies, and women being rude or bla bla bollocksy bla.
Get off your arses and head to an organised social.
The people there are there because they WANT to talk to new people, not because you're assuming they are simply for being online.
Convey yourself in person where you've got fuck all to hide behind or whinge about, nobody to blame.
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I agree with the OP. Its all one sided crap. Woman say be original polite etc but you send said msg being polite and you just get ignored. You cant win.
Have you been here before?
If not you've learned it's all one sided crap in 2 weeks.
We are still in a pandemic where people are grieving and probably ain't that interested in 1-1 conversations that they haven't necessarily invited into their inbox.
If you'd been here before you'd know full well the demographic of women who don't even open messages from profiles with no picture is huge. If you haven't been here before then maybe you should take some time to read through the forums and get a bit educated.
Oh, and of course you're well aware that without strict filters in place women can easily receive hundreds of messages a day, especially when they put up a new picture.
Why should they reply to you?
Oh yeah, and taking into account the site FAQs state that no reply means no interest, which I bet you've taken into account when writing your comment."
Also, to add to this: why do men just ASSUME all women on here will be interested in them? It's not "one size fits all" in the real world, and I don't get why that should change on a swinging site?
Just because you're ABLE to message people doesn't always mean you SHOULD... |
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"I agree with the OP. Its all one sided crap. Woman say be original polite etc but you send said msg being polite and you just get ignored. You cant win.
Have you been here before?
If not you've learned it's all one sided crap in 2 weeks.
We are still in a pandemic where people are grieving and probably ain't that interested in 1-1 conversations that they haven't necessarily invited into their inbox.
If you'd been here before you'd know full well the demographic of women who don't even open messages from profiles with no picture is huge. If you haven't been here before then maybe you should take some time to read through the forums and get a bit educated.
Oh, and of course you're well aware that without strict filters in place women can easily receive hundreds of messages a day, especially when they put up a new picture.
Why should they reply to you?
Oh yeah, and taking into account the site FAQs state that no reply means no interest, which I bet you've taken into account when writing your comment.
Was on as part of a couple years ago but have single friends male and female who have told me all about the timewasters. It is true lots of decent guys like me send polite messeges but get nothing for there efforts. Yes theres lots of guys and i appreciate that but its still disheartning. Because a lot of guys are just sex pests it really is a uphill battle for us genuine guys as im sure there are timewasting women who give you a bad name "
I couldn't give a flying fuck about other women. I'm me. I don't blame them, they don't speak for me or on behalf of me.
I take action when I want to meet new people instead of using the armchair option. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
It's simple really,the way they ask not to be contacted?
Don't contact them that way?
Can't think of anything original to say?
Again,don't contact them.
Someone for everyone on fab,not everyone for someone |
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"Why is it childish blocking people?
There's more to fab than messaging. These profiles are clearly on an even keel, found what they were looking for. They're likely here to keep up with events and clubs etc.
Why shouldn't they let people know they're probably wasting their own time messaging unless they can pull a rabbit out of the hat?
I would suggest it very childish blocking someone for saying ' how are you today? or ' so how are you finding fab' '
just maybe me though of course.. happy to know why you wouldnt agree?
Because that's not the kind of unoriginallity I wanna read.
Those questions are triggers for me. 5 years I've been here. I must have been asked that tens of thousands of times.
How are you today? I wanna hear that from my friends, from people I'm talking to when I'm feeling low and they're checking in on me.
I don't lie to people so if I was to answer that question I'd be extending the absolute shit I'm feeling and bringing it back to the surface in a place where I'm probably trying to escape it. How many people would actually appreciate a reply saying "I'm fucking shit. My friend was killed in a hit n run incident on Saturday and I'm struggling to come to terms with it. His mum buried her husband on the Friday and her son was killed on the Saturday. I can't begin to imagine how she feels. You might have seen it on the news"
You really wanna hear that? Coz I know full well I don't wanna hear any questions that may follow. I'm here to try and block it out for just a short while and there you are forcing me to think about it.
How are you finding fab?
"Well I've been here 5 years so it ain't all bad. If you'd bothered reading my profile tho you'd see it has been far from plain sailing and I'm still struggling with the impact of liars and cheats. I'm not here to meet anymore, I'm here for the forums and pretty much out of habit"
You wanna hear that too? I've written that shit on my profile so I don't have to talk about it unless I decide I want to when I feel it may help someone else.
Oh, and those mofos that ask "what are you doing?"
Mind your own business. What I'm doing has fuck all to do with you, who the hell do you think you are my goddam mother?"
Rude!and quite unnecessary frankly
Have a nice life do..
|
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"Why is it childish blocking people?
There's more to fab than messaging. These profiles are clearly on an even keel, found what they were looking for. They're likely here to keep up with events and clubs etc.
Why shouldn't they let people know they're probably wasting their own time messaging unless they can pull a rabbit out of the hat?
I would suggest it very childish blocking someone for saying ' how are you today? or ' so how are you finding fab' '
just maybe me though of course.. happy to know why you wouldnt agree?
Because that's not the kind of unoriginallity I wanna read.
Those questions are triggers for me. 5 years I've been here. I must have been asked that tens of thousands of times.
How are you today? I wanna hear that from my friends, from people I'm talking to when I'm feeling low and they're checking in on me.
I don't lie to people so if I was to answer that question I'd be extending the absolute shit I'm feeling and bringing it back to the surface in a place where I'm probably trying to escape it. How many people would actually appreciate a reply saying "I'm fucking shit. My friend was killed in a hit n run incident on Saturday and I'm struggling to come to terms with it. His mum buried her husband on the Friday and her son was killed on the Saturday. I can't begin to imagine how she feels. You might have seen it on the news"
You really wanna hear that? Coz I know full well I don't wanna hear any questions that may follow. I'm here to try and block it out for just a short while and there you are forcing me to think about it.
How are you finding fab?
"Well I've been here 5 years so it ain't all bad. If you'd bothered reading my profile tho you'd see it has been far from plain sailing and I'm still struggling with the impact of liars and cheats. I'm not here to meet anymore, I'm here for the forums and pretty much out of habit"
You wanna hear that too? I've written that shit on my profile so I don't have to talk about it unless I decide I want to when I feel it may help someone else.
Oh, and those mofos that ask "what are you doing?"
Mind your own business. What I'm doing has fuck all to do with you, who the hell do you think you are my goddam mother?
Rude!and quite unnecessary frankly
Have a nice life do..
"
So me being truthful about my life is rude?
So you want people to lie to be polite and not tell the truth?
I answered those questions.
I opened up and wore my heart on my sleeve as to how I'm feeling today and I'm rude.
So those that don't reply are rude. Those that tell the truth and lay things on the line are rude.
What you seem to be looking for is someone who'll pay you lip service. Try a hotline where they get paid for the privilege |
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You don't have to be original. You have to be respectful and interesting. You have to say more than a hello and you have to show somebody that you don't think they joined the site specifically because they are just aching to shag you. |
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"that said what should someone say instead of using polite social graces?
Perhaps maybe
A poem?
A song?
Quote the current share prices?
Suggest the winning lottery numbers?
Review a good movie?
A recipe?
interested to see what other peoples responses/ ideas are about this ..
"
If somebody sent us any of those things and it was actually relevant to us because of something in our profile or something we wrote on the forum, we would almost certainly reply. If it was just a copied and pasted message that they could send to anybody then we definitely wouldn't. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I agree with the OP. Its all one sided crap. Woman say be original polite etc but you send said msg being polite and you just get ignored. You cant win.
It’s not “one sided crap though” So many things come into it, it’s not so black and white. So many reasons why... Some won’t talk to a cock pic or a blank avatar or a new unverified profile that’s never met anyone before. It’s not about winning if someone likes you they’ll reply and let you know..."
Also try going to a organised social when they are back on the people that go there want to meet others and talk so you have a good chance of making friends there...
|
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"Why is it childish blocking people?
There's more to fab than messaging. These profiles are clearly on an even keel, found what they were looking for. They're likely here to keep up with events and clubs etc.
Why shouldn't they let people know they're probably wasting their own time messaging unless they can pull a rabbit out of the hat?
I would suggest it very childish blocking someone for saying ' how are you today? or ' so how are you finding fab' '
just maybe me though of course.. happy to know why you wouldnt agree?
Because that's not the kind of unoriginallity I wanna read.
Those questions are triggers for me. 5 years I've been here. I must have been asked that tens of thousands of times.
How are you today? I wanna hear that from my friends, from people I'm talking to when I'm feeling low and they're checking in on me.
I don't lie to people so if I was to answer that question I'd be extending the absolute shit I'm feeling and bringing it back to the surface in a place where I'm probably trying to escape it. How many people would actually appreciate a reply saying "I'm fucking shit. My friend was killed in a hit n run incident on Saturday and I'm struggling to come to terms with it. His mum buried her husband on the Friday and her son was killed on the Saturday. I can't begin to imagine how she feels. You might have seen it on the news"
You really wanna hear that? Coz I know full well I don't wanna hear any questions that may follow. I'm here to try and block it out for just a short while and there you are forcing me to think about it.
How are you finding fab?
"Well I've been here 5 years so it ain't all bad. If you'd bothered reading my profile tho you'd see it has been far from plain sailing and I'm still struggling with the impact of liars and cheats. I'm not here to meet anymore, I'm here for the forums and pretty much out of habit"
You wanna hear that too? I've written that shit on my profile so I don't have to talk about it unless I decide I want to when I feel it may help someone else.
Oh, and those mofos that ask "what are you doing?"
Mind your own business. What I'm doing has fuck all to do with you, who the hell do you think you are my goddam mother?
Rude!and quite unnecessary frankly
Have a nice life do..
So me being truthful about my life is rude?
So you want people to lie to be polite and not tell the truth?
I answered those questions.
I opened up and wore my heart on my sleeve as to how I'm feeling today and I'm rude.
So those that don't reply are rude. Those that tell the truth and lay things on the line are rude.
What you seem to be looking for is someone who'll pay you lip service. Try a hotline where they get paid for the privilege "
I didn't actually ask a question, I did however ask a general question about peoples thoughts on how people communicate on here and to be fair virtual/ social media platforms in general so my intention was to look more at the psychological aspects rather than the actual act.
ASs an example your response, angry shouting and swearing out in the ' real ' world if it happened would have resulted in a very different response from me .. a big shouting at back or depending on how to hurt I was or who said it a slap in the face because that's how we respond to real-life things isn't it ?
Somehow that idea of being accountable for what we ' say' in the cyber world appears lost on some people as clearly does the need for politeness and social graces. Hence the need for me to start the thread in the first place.
I did not ask anyone to tell me their hard or otherwise life story or indeed anything individual about themselves. I am more than happy to do that though with anyone and if someones struggling I can chat about anything .. we all go through bad times .BTW if you think you have had a tough life then so have hundreds of other people myself included. That's what people talk about though and that then forms the basis of a good old conversation and a way of getting to know someone
So in answer to your question yes I would be very happy to hear from someone who had a rubbish day and felt like they wanted to share it. Otherwise, I would not have asked them how their day had been? Personally, I see no point at all asking a question of someone if they are not going to at least put a bit of effort into the reply and trot out some banal answer. .. though I am clearly different to lots of people from the look of things
|
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"
What you seem to be looking for is someone who'll pay you lip service. Try a hotline where they get paid for the privilege "
Actually not for me
though this is a good point you make
if you look at it on an economic scale arguably it is probably the more cost/time-efficient way for someone to use their time
multiply how long is spent writing messages no one replies to which for a lot of people is a LOT of time.
Multiply that by your hourly rate
The total would certainly be able to keep a professional happy I am sure .. and you are guaranteed a shag! and can actually plan your life a bit too
winner .. arguably so though as not all the things are a constant
good point though ..
|
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"Why is it childish blocking people?
There's more to fab than messaging. These profiles are clearly on an even keel, found what they were looking for. They're likely here to keep up with events and clubs etc.
Why shouldn't they let people know they're probably wasting their own time messaging unless they can pull a rabbit out of the hat?
I would suggest it very childish blocking someone for saying ' how are you today? or ' so how are you finding fab' '
just maybe me though of course.. happy to know why you wouldnt agree?
Because that's not the kind of unoriginallity I wanna read.
Those questions are triggers for me. 5 years I've been here. I must have been asked that tens of thousands of times.
How are you today? I wanna hear that from my friends, from people I'm talking to when I'm feeling low and they're checking in on me.
I don't lie to people so if I was to answer that question I'd be extending the absolute shit I'm feeling and bringing it back to the surface in a place where I'm probably trying to escape it. How many people would actually appreciate a reply saying "I'm fucking shit. My friend was killed in a hit n run incident on Saturday and I'm struggling to come to terms with it. His mum buried her husband on the Friday and her son was killed on the Saturday. I can't begin to imagine how she feels. You might have seen it on the news"
You really wanna hear that? Coz I know full well I don't wanna hear any questions that may follow. I'm here to try and block it out for just a short while and there you are forcing me to think about it.
How are you finding fab?
"Well I've been here 5 years so it ain't all bad. If you'd bothered reading my profile tho you'd see it has been far from plain sailing and I'm still struggling with the impact of liars and cheats. I'm not here to meet anymore, I'm here for the forums and pretty much out of habit"
You wanna hear that too? I've written that shit on my profile so I don't have to talk about it unless I decide I want to when I feel it may help someone else.
Oh, and those mofos that ask "what are you doing?"
Mind your own business. What I'm doing has fuck all to do with you, who the hell do you think you are my goddam mother?
Rude!and quite unnecessary frankly
Have a nice life do..
So me being truthful about my life is rude?
So you want people to lie to be polite and not tell the truth?
I answered those questions.
I opened up and wore my heart on my sleeve as to how I'm feeling today and I'm rude.
So those that don't reply are rude. Those that tell the truth and lay things on the line are rude.
What you seem to be looking for is someone who'll pay you lip service. Try a hotline where they get paid for the privilege
I didn't actually ask a question, I did however ask a general question about peoples thoughts on how people communicate on here and to be fair virtual/ social media platforms in general so my intention was to look more at the psychological aspects rather than the actual act.
ASs an example your response, angry shouting and swearing out in the ' real ' world if it happened would have resulted in a very different response from me .. a big shouting at back or depending on how to hurt I was or who said it a slap in the face because that's how we respond to real-life things isn't it ?
Somehow that idea of being accountable for what we ' say' in the cyber world appears lost on some people as clearly does the need for politeness and social graces. Hence the need for me to start the thread in the first place.
I did not ask anyone to tell me their hard or otherwise life story or indeed anything individual about themselves. I am more than happy to do that though with anyone and if someones struggling I can chat about anything .. we all go through bad times .BTW if you think you have had a tough life then so have hundreds of other people myself included. That's what people talk about though and that then forms the basis of a good old conversation and a way of getting to know someone
So in answer to your question yes I would be very happy to hear from someone who had a rubbish day and felt like they wanted to share it. Otherwise, I would not have asked them how their day had been? Personally, I see no point at all asking a question of someone if they are not going to at least put a bit of effort into the reply and trot out some banal answer. .. though I am clearly different to lots of people from the look of things
"
I doubt very much if you'd have approached me whilst I was walking down the street to stop me and ask me how I am, or how am I finding the pavement.
And yes, I am angry, my friend was killed at the weekend. I'm positively raging. I'm grieving.
This ain't a woe is me. This ain't a game of who's had a shit life and who hasn't. That was simply me responding with real raw emotion to your questions on a thread, as if you had sent them in PM.
My point was, in asking those questions, it's pulling people back into emotion in a place where there's a damn good chance they're trying to leave it behind for just a short amount of time.
They're actually very personal questions if you're someone like me. |
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"
I doubt very much if you'd have approached me whilst I was walking down the street to stop me and ask me how I am, or how am I finding the pavement. "
I just have to say in response to this - if a random strange man approached me in the street and asked “what you up to” or any of the other inane questions I get in my inbox, I’d be a hell of a lot less polite than my quiet deleting of messages!
And I know we’re strangers, but for what it’s worth, I’m sorry for your loss and for what you’re going through. |
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"
I doubt very much if you'd have approached me whilst I was walking down the street to stop me and ask me how I am, or how am I finding the pavement.
I just have to say in response to this - if a random strange man approached me in the street and asked “what you up to” or any of the other inane questions I get in my inbox, I’d be a hell of a lot less polite than my quiet deleting of messages!
And I know we’re strangers, but for what it’s worth, I’m sorry for your loss and for what you’re going through."
It's appreciated.
You're absolutely right. I'd probably pepper spray half of them if I had any!
People may not see it the same as me but your inbox is your personal space. That's why it's private.
Yes we can use filters, and I do. I don't however lockdown my inbox completely. I have it open mainly for forum people to contact me regarding threads or for forum games, or for those that know me to ask if I'm OK if they can see I'm not myself.
|
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"Why is it childish blocking people?
There's more to fab than messaging. These profiles are clearly on an even keel, found what they were looking for. They're likely here to keep up with events and clubs etc.
Why shouldn't they let people know they're probably wasting their own time messaging unless they can pull a rabbit out of the hat?
I would suggest it very childish blocking someone for saying ' how are you today? or ' so how are you finding fab' '
just maybe me though of course.. happy to know why you wouldnt agree?
Because that's not the kind of unoriginallity I wanna read.
Those questions are triggers for me. 5 years I've been here. I must have been asked that tens of thousands of times.
How are you today? I wanna hear that from my friends, from people I'm talking to when I'm feeling low and they're checking in on me.
I don't lie to people so if I was to answer that question I'd be extending the absolute shit I'm feeling and bringing it back to the surface in a place where I'm probably trying to escape it. How many people would actually appreciate a reply saying "I'm fucking shit. My friend was killed in a hit n run incident on Saturday and I'm struggling to come to terms with it. His mum buried her husband on the Friday and her son was killed on the Saturday. I can't begin to imagine how she feels. You might have seen it on the news"
You really wanna hear that? Coz I know full well I don't wanna hear any questions that may follow. I'm here to try and block it out for just a short while and there you are forcing me to think about it.
How are you finding fab?
"Well I've been here 5 years so it ain't all bad. If you'd bothered reading my profile tho you'd see it has been far from plain sailing and I'm still struggling with the impact of liars and cheats. I'm not here to meet anymore, I'm here for the forums and pretty much out of habit"
You wanna hear that too? I've written that shit on my profile so I don't have to talk about it unless I decide I want to when I feel it may help someone else.
Oh, and those mofos that ask "what are you doing?"
Mind your own business. What I'm doing has fuck all to do with you, who the hell do you think you are my goddam mother?
Rude!and quite unnecessary frankly
Have a nice life do..
So me being truthful about my life is rude?
So you want people to lie to be polite and not tell the truth?
I answered those questions.
I opened up and wore my heart on my sleeve as to how I'm feeling today and I'm rude.
So those that don't reply are rude. Those that tell the truth and lay things on the line are rude.
What you seem to be looking for is someone who'll pay you lip service. Try a hotline where they get paid for the privilege
I didn't actually ask a question, I did however ask a general question about peoples thoughts on how people communicate on here and to be fair virtual/ social media platforms in general so my intention was to look more at the psychological aspects rather than the actual act.
ASs an example your response, angry shouting and swearing out in the ' real ' world if it happened would have resulted in a very different response from me .. a big shouting at back or depending on how to hurt I was or who said it a slap in the face because that's how we respond to real-life things isn't it ?
Somehow that idea of being accountable for what we ' say' in the cyber world appears lost on some people as clearly does the need for politeness and social graces. Hence the need for me to start the thread in the first place.
I did not ask anyone to tell me their hard or otherwise life story or indeed anything individual about themselves. I am more than happy to do that though with anyone and if someones struggling I can chat about anything .. we all go through bad times .BTW if you think you have had a tough life then so have hundreds of other people myself included. That's what people talk about though and that then forms the basis of a good old conversation and a way of getting to know someone
So in answer to your question yes I would be very happy to hear from someone who had a rubbish day and felt like they wanted to share it. Otherwise, I would not have asked them how their day had been? Personally, I see no point at all asking a question of someone if they are not going to at least put a bit of effort into the reply and trot out some banal answer. .. though I am clearly different to lots of people from the look of things
I doubt very much if you'd have approached me whilst I was walking down the street to stop me and ask me how I am, or how am I finding the pavement.
And yes, I am angry, my friend was killed at the weekend. I'm positively raging. I'm grieving.
This ain't a woe is me. This ain't a game of who's had a shit life and who hasn't. That was simply me responding with real raw emotion to your questions on a thread, as if you had sent them in PM.
My point was, in asking those questions, it's pulling people back into emotion in a place where there's a damn good chance they're trying to leave it behind for just a short amount of time.
They're actually very personal questions if you're someone like me."
absolutely some valid points and I too am sorry for your loss .. that sort of experience is hard work to deal with emotionally .. so condolences to you |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why is it childish blocking people?
There's more to fab than messaging. These profiles are clearly on an even keel, found what they were looking for. They're likely here to keep up with events and clubs etc.
Why shouldn't they let people know they're probably wasting their own time messaging unless they can pull a rabbit out of the hat?
I would suggest it very childish blocking someone for saying ' how are you today? or ' so how are you finding fab' '
just maybe me though of course.. happy to know why you wouldnt agree?
Because that's not the kind of unoriginallity I wanna read.
Those questions are triggers for me. 5 years I've been here. I must have been asked that tens of thousands of times.
How are you today? I wanna hear that from my friends, from people I'm talking to when I'm feeling low and they're checking in on me.
I don't lie to people so if I was to answer that question I'd be extending the absolute shit I'm feeling and bringing it back to the surface in a place where I'm probably trying to escape it. How many people would actually appreciate a reply saying "I'm fucking shit. My friend was killed in a hit n run incident on Saturday and I'm struggling to come to terms with it. His mum buried her husband on the Friday and her son was killed on the Saturday. I can't begin to imagine how she feels. You might have seen it on the news"
You really wanna hear that? Coz I know full well I don't wanna hear any questions that may follow. I'm here to try and block it out for just a short while and there you are forcing me to think about it.
How are you finding fab?
"Well I've been here 5 years so it ain't all bad. If you'd bothered reading my profile tho you'd see it has been far from plain sailing and I'm still struggling with the impact of liars and cheats. I'm not here to meet anymore, I'm here for the forums and pretty much out of habit"
You wanna hear that too? I've written that shit on my profile so I don't have to talk about it unless I decide I want to when I feel it may help someone else.
Oh, and those mofos that ask "what are you doing?"
Mind your own business. What I'm doing has fuck all to do with you, who the hell do you think you are my goddam mother?
Rude!and quite unnecessary frankly
Have a nice life do..
So me being truthful about my life is rude?
So you want people to lie to be polite and not tell the truth?
I answered those questions.
I opened up and wore my heart on my sleeve as to how I'm feeling today and I'm rude.
So those that don't reply are rude. Those that tell the truth and lay things on the line are rude.
What you seem to be looking for is someone who'll pay you lip service. Try a hotline where they get paid for the privilege
I didn't actually ask a question, I did however ask a general question about peoples thoughts on how people communicate on here and to be fair virtual/ social media platforms in general so my intention was to look more at the psychological aspects rather than the actual act.
ASs an example your response, angry shouting and swearing out in the ' real ' world if it happened would have resulted in a very different response from me .. a big shouting at back or depending on how to hurt I was or who said it a slap in the face because that's how we respond to real-life things isn't it ?
Somehow that idea of being accountable for what we ' say' in the cyber world appears lost on some people as clearly does the need for politeness and social graces. Hence the need for me to start the thread in the first place.
I did not ask anyone to tell me their hard or otherwise life story or indeed anything individual about themselves. I am more than happy to do that though with anyone and if someones struggling I can chat about anything .. we all go through bad times .BTW if you think you have had a tough life then so have hundreds of other people myself included. That's what people talk about though and that then forms the basis of a good old conversation and a way of getting to know someone
So in answer to your question yes I would be very happy to hear from someone who had a rubbish day and felt like they wanted to share it. Otherwise, I would not have asked them how their day had been? Personally, I see no point at all asking a question of someone if they are not going to at least put a bit of effort into the reply and trot out some banal answer. .. though I am clearly different to lots of people from the look of things
I doubt very much if you'd have approached me whilst I was walking down the street to stop me and ask me how I am, or how am I finding the pavement.
And yes, I am angry, my friend was killed at the weekend. I'm positively raging. I'm grieving.
This ain't a woe is me. This ain't a game of who's had a shit life and who hasn't. That was simply me responding with real raw emotion to your questions on a thread, as if you had sent them in PM.
My point was, in asking those questions, it's pulling people back into emotion in a place where there's a damn good chance they're trying to leave it behind for just a short amount of time.
They're actually very personal questions if you're someone like me."
For most people, they're probably really innocuous questions |
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