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The oracle is open
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why don’t they make baths for short people Jennie 
Or long people for that matter?
I can lay flat in my bath "
I don’t believe you? Need a pic for proof  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why don’t they make baths for short people Jennie
Or long people for that matter?
I can lay flat in my bath
Likewise, taking a soak is remembering to float "
I have to wear armbands  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Why don’t they make baths for short people Jennie
They do, but they call them bidets.
I want to wash more than my arse "
Oh so not THAT short then?
(PS. Your arse would be a start!) |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Oh all knowing, most sexy Jennie....
Will all my deepest wishes and desires come true?"
They will.
But be careful not to be caught or you risk jail time |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Why don’t they make baths for short people Jennie
Or long people for that matter?
I can lay flat in my bath "
I have to choose between cold boobs or cold knees  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I am finding myself sexually attracted to radiators. Should I mention this on my profile or in my usual, ‘FAF?’ introductory messages? "
Leave it for the FAF message.
Always nice to have a little surprise in reserve |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I am finding myself sexually attracted to radiators. Should I mention this on my profile or in my usual, ‘FAF?’ introductory messages? "
You’ve always had a bit of a thing about heaters!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Why don’t they make baths for short people Jennie
They do, but they call them bidets.
I want to wash more than my arse
Oh so not THAT short then?
(PS. Your arse would be a start!)"
Will Sensuallovers beardy bottom fit in it |
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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"Oh all knowing, most sexy Jennie....
Will all my deepest wishes and desires come true?
They will.
But be careful not to be caught or you risk jail time "
Noted.
Um.... even THAT one. You know.... the one with the thing  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Why don’t they make baths for short people Jennie
Or long people for that matter?
I can lay flat in my bath
I have to choose between cold boobs or cold knees "
Ah ... lay face down then |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why don’t they make baths for short people Jennie
Or long people for that matter?
I can lay flat in my bath
I have to choose between cold boobs or cold knees "
I have to choose between snorkel or armbands |
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"I am finding myself sexually attracted to radiators. Should I mention this on my profile or in my usual, ‘FAF?’ introductory messages?
Leave it for the FAF message.
Always nice to have a little surprise in reserve "
Thank you Jennie; I have another problem involving my penis presently being wedged stuck in a half empty bottle of Stella Artois but I’ll save that one for another day  |
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"I am finding myself sexually attracted to radiators. Should I mention this on my profile or in my usual, ‘FAF?’ introductory messages?
You’ve always had a bit of a thing about heaters! "
 It’s my kink - warm and sensual  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Oh all knowing, most sexy Jennie....
Will all my deepest wishes and desires come true?
They will.
But be careful not to be caught or you risk jail time
Noted.
Um.... even THAT one. You know.... the one with the thing "
Even that one |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Why don’t they make baths for short people Jennie
They do, but they call them bidets.
I want to wash more than my arse
Oh so not THAT short then?
(PS. Your arse would be a start!)
Will Sensuallovers beardy bottom fit in it "
It will... a perfect fit |
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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"Oh all knowing, most sexy Jennie....
Will all my deepest wishes and desires come true?
They will.
But be careful not to be caught or you risk jail time
Noted.
Um.... even THAT one. You know.... the one with the thing
Even that one"
Ooooooh  |
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"Why don’t they make baths for short people Jennie
Or long people for that matter?
I can lay flat in my bath
Likewise, taking a soak is remembering to float
I have to wear armbands "
I put my snorkel on |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Will I get offered the job oh wise one ? "
You will be offered the job you deserve when the white owl shrieks twice and the small dog barks at the moon |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Would it be wrong to chivvy Mr KC on to get the tea cooked?!
Get his bitch ass in the kitchen to make you some pie!
I'll just shout that down to him, verbatim "
Do so.
It is instruction from the sacred oracle herself |
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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"Should I get the truck of my dreams or a sensible car?
A Triumph Speed Triple"
Er Jennie. You know how clumsy I am.... is 2 wheels really likely to be sensible? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Should I get the truck of my dreams or a sensible car?
A Triumph Speed Triple
Er Jennie. You know how clumsy I am.... is 2 wheels really likely to be sensible?"
Sensible be damned! |
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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"Should I get the truck of my dreams or a sensible car?
A Triumph Speed Triple
Er Jennie. You know how clumsy I am.... is 2 wheels really likely to be sensible?
Sensible be damned!"
Will you look after me when I break all my bones? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Should I get the truck of my dreams or a sensible car?
A Triumph Speed Triple
Er Jennie. You know how clumsy I am.... is 2 wheels really likely to be sensible?
Sensible be damned!"
But maybe invest in some stabilisers |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Should I get the truck of my dreams or a sensible car?
A Triumph Speed Triple
Er Jennie. You know how clumsy I am.... is 2 wheels really likely to be sensible?
Sensible be damned!
Will you look after me when I break all my bones?"
I shall.
Bed baths included! |
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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"Should I get the truck of my dreams or a sensible car?
A Triumph Speed Triple
Er Jennie. You know how clumsy I am.... is 2 wheels really likely to be sensible?
Sensible be damned!
Will you look after me when I break all my bones?
I shall.
Bed baths included! "
Deal. I'll order it now |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Why does Santa never deliver my Xmas wish of Tom Hardy & Jamie Dornan for the ultimate threesome I desire.
I’ve been asking for years and still nothing.....and I’m a good girl  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Why does Santa never deliver my Xmas wish of Tom Hardy & Jamie Dornan for the ultimate threesome I desire.
I’ve been asking for years and still nothing.....and I’m a good girl "
Because Tom and Jamie are actually the same person. Think about it .... you never see them together at the same time |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why does Santa never deliver my Xmas wish of Tom Hardy & Jamie Dornan for the ultimate threesome I desire.
I’ve been asking for years and still nothing.....and I’m a good girl
Because Tom and Jamie are actually the same person. Think about it .... you never see them together at the same time "
In that case just the one will do, can you get Santa to deliver TomJam this year please.   |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Why does Santa never deliver my Xmas wish of Tom Hardy & Jamie Dornan for the ultimate threesome I desire.
I’ve been asking for years and still nothing.....and I’m a good girl
Because Tom and Jamie are actually the same person. Think about it .... you never see them together at the same time
In that case just the one will do, can you get Santa to deliver TomJam this year please. "
I will have a word ... although the tooth fairy has bagsied first dibs |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Will I resurrect the blue undie Monday thread?
No.
You will think about it then won't be arsed
Ok.
Who gets to break the news to Chunkygent? "
Hex will work it out |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Why does Santa never deliver my Xmas wish of Tom Hardy & Jamie Dornan for the ultimate threesome I desire.
I’ve been asking for years and still nothing.....and I’m a good girl
Because Tom and Jamie are actually the same person. Think about it .... you never see them together at the same time
In that case just the one will do, can you get Santa to deliver TomJam this year please.
I will have a word ... although the tooth fairy has bagsied first dibs "
Right I’m off to see if I have any wobbly teeth. I can handle the loss of a tooth if I get Tom/Jam |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why have I got a headache?
Because I was about to suggest a shag 
Oh it’s gone
The oracle cannot be distracted, however hard you try.
Probably"
Pfft, I’ll put my clothes back on then (pouty sulky face) |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Why have I got a headache?
Because I was about to suggest a shag
Oh it’s gone
The oracle cannot be distracted, however hard you try.
Probably
Pfft, I’ll put my clothes back on then (pouty sulky face)"
Although ..... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Jennie
Please tell me how I should eat my creme egg.
Her x"
Tease the tip with your tongue. Gentle nibbles, till the cream oozes. Greedily lap at the cream, whilst making noises of appreciation. Then consume the rest like its the last you will ever have.
Then watch as it rolls over, farts and goes to sleep. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Jennie
Please tell me how I should eat my creme egg.
Her x
Tease the tip with your tongue. Gentle nibbles, till the cream oozes. Greedily lap at the cream, whilst making noises of appreciation. Then consume the rest like its the last you will ever have.
Then watch as it rolls over, farts and goes to sleep."
My next question is that if I have a multipack box of creme eggs and do as you instruct am I truly a greedy lady?
Her x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Does turning 40 count during a lockdown or do I get a redo of being 39?
It does not count.
You get another year at 39."
Thank you beautiful and wise Jennie. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Oh Jennie the Omniscient, I really need a cuddle buddy. When will this person appear in my life? Your devoted servant, Nell."
Please take a number and join the queue. Cuddles are provided on a purely first come first served basis. You are currently 29th in the queue |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Jennie
Please tell me how I should eat my creme egg.
Her x
Tease the tip with your tongue. Gentle nibbles, till the cream oozes. Greedily lap at the cream, whilst making noises of appreciation. Then consume the rest like its the last you will ever have.
Then watch as it rolls over, farts and goes to sleep.
My next question is that if I have a multipack box of creme eggs and do as you instruct am I truly a greedy lady?
Her x"
Like ... creme egg bukakke x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Jennie
Please tell me how I should eat my creme egg.
Her x
Tease the tip with your tongue. Gentle nibbles, till the cream oozes. Greedily lap at the cream, whilst making noises of appreciation. Then consume the rest like its the last you will ever have.
Then watch as it rolls over, farts and goes to sleep.
My next question is that if I have a multipack box of creme eggs and do as you instruct am I truly a greedy lady?
Her x
Like ... creme egg bukakke x"
Phwoar
Her x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Who decided that eggs were edible?
What did we eat first, the chicken, or the egg?
C"
Evolutionary theory would say the egg came first.
If we accept evolution as a gradual and constant flow of minuscule and incremental changes, then the bird that laid the egg was very very nearly a chicken. Nearly but not quite.
The bird that hatched had evolved just enough to be a chicken. Thus the egg was first. |
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